The Third Annual Infidelity Valentine’s Day Contest!

valentineIt’s February and you know what that means, chumps? It’s time again for our annual Chump Lady Infidelity Valentine’s Day Contest!

During this season of love, roses, and cut-rate chocolates, it’s important to remember the less fortunate — those poor sods that wound up with our exes — and immortalize them in verse.

So send me a poem! I’m looking for either a haiku or a limerick that encapsulates your cheater experience. The winners get a signed book and a cartoon drawn of their poem. I will announce the winner on Valentine’s Day. So hey, the day isn’t a total waste, right?

To recap from 8th grade English, a haiku is a poem with 5-7-5 syllables.

I love you but I’m…
Christ, you are such a cliche
…not in love with you.

A limerick is a 5 line poem with a rhyme scheme of AABBA.

There once was a mistress named Kay
Who was a better liar than a lay
She had HPV
And now it’s with me
My husband’s clap conveys

To inspire you, here are last year’s winners with cartoons:

GPShisDickDuckLinerUpper with:

He thought he perfected his tricks
But cell tracking exposed him real quick
His 2 am fuck
Means he’s all out of luck
I’m done GPS-ing his dick

Not to be outdone, beendonengone gave the contest some Southern grit with a twist of karma.

Ya done went an found ya another,
Cos yer home life started to smother.
Now its yer turn to crawl,
Call Jerry Springer, y’all!
Cos I hear she’s been fuckin’ yer brother!

jerry

I will leave this post up until Tuesday but you can enter submissions until February 12. (I need some time to draw, folks.) After Tuesday, I will put a Valentine’s Day link up on the navbar, so you can keep checking in.

Chumps, I know you’ve got some bad Valentines in you. Bring IT!

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BrownEyeGirl
BrownEyeGirl
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

In rehab you met Diana, your 1st whore,
Funny you went there for “Help” and got kicked out the DOOR!
Facebook was your stalking ground for girlfriend #2.
You connected with Jessica – thinking I had no clue.
Third times a charm…
Massage by Heather got you kicked out for FOREVER!!!
Protective order and all, Crazy Angela still wants you.
Some roses are red but your cheating balls are not BLUE!!!

— note: names of whores, sluts, and the guilty have not been changed. They all slept will my EX and he’s their problem now!!!! – Happy V-Day to all the FREE and MUCH better off! XOXOXO

4bluedog
4bluedog
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Cheater, cheater…weasel creeper…
Had a wife and couldn’t keep her…
Put her through a living hell…
But now she’s living very well!

ringinonmyownbell
ringinonmyownbell
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Good… My settlement is signed sealed and deliverd.

Itneverends
Itneverends
9 years ago

I also finally signed agreement with my wasband to after 6 hours of mediation, I got all that I wanted, divorce to become final on feb 20 or sooner …. So glad I made this choice and thanks to this site and all advise from family and friends I’m finally on the road to meh !!! Leave a cheater gain a life !!

Ca3cilia63
Ca3cilia63
9 years ago

There once was a husband called Trevor,
Who thought himself terribly clever.
I discovered his todger
Impaled in the lodger.
Clever Trevor is now gone, forever!

chjrn
chjrn
9 years ago
Reply to  Ca3cilia63

I could have written this! That is my ex’s name! Haha!

RedQueen
RedQueen
9 years ago
Reply to  Ca3cilia63

This is brilliant.

Maree
Maree
9 years ago

D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
The Valentine’s gift my ex gave to me
I never, ever got a gift before.
That is until the dickhead screwed his whore
Him paying me out has made the F*Wit poor.

Syringa
Syringa
9 years ago
Reply to  Maree

Now that’s funny!

Bev
Bev
9 years ago

There once was a man named Steve
A germaphobe to the nth degree
He stuck his dick in a hooker
Every time he could book her
Could someone explain that please?

TheBetterJamie
TheBetterJamie
9 years ago
Reply to  Bev

Oooooo, I love that one, bev!

IHaveHate
IHaveHate
9 years ago
Reply to  Bev

Bea….what is it with the germaphobes? Mine was too, with his purple latex wearing gloves and all, yet his fuck of choice has been young strippers…..

ringinonmyownbell
ringinonmyownbell
9 years ago
Reply to  IHaveHate

Did they miss that part of biology… where you wash your hands whenever you come near that part of the body… or are they so up to date… they just want to sample the human micro biome. What is it with these guys.

Drew
Drew
9 years ago
Reply to  Bev

Lol! Simple and brilliant Bev!

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
9 years ago
Reply to  Bev

Love that Bev!!

DavidB
DavidB
9 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

Bev gets my vote!

smarternow
smarternow
9 years ago

There once was an adulteress named Stephanie

To justify her cheating she had an epiphany

If I pick a fight with my spouse

And he spends the night out of our house

The same night when I fuck someone else

After getting high and inebriated

I’ll just say we were “separated”.

WiserToday
WiserToday
9 years ago
Reply to  smarternow

Wow. I thought only my resident cheater did that! When he later admitted, ‘Well, when you said you couldn’t live with me if I kept going on date sites, I decided we were separated and I didn’t have to answer to you any more’, I was dumbfounded. Funny how he didn’t have the stones to say that at the time so I could make an informed decision, or decide he should move out of the house to commemorate his new status.

Chumpion
Chumpion
9 years ago

Gaslit charisma,
Mystery? Nope. Light shows,
Plain narcissism.

NWBiblio
NWBiblio
9 years ago
Reply to  Chumpion

This is nice.

DoneNow
DoneNow
9 years ago

After fifteen years
Twins by IVF. They’re here!
Hey, where did you go?

TwinsDad
TwinsDad
9 years ago
Reply to  DoneNow

Familiar indeed! Only difference is my 24 years.

TiredMomma
TiredMomma
9 years ago
Reply to  DoneNow

Ugh…so familiar a story… and nicely done!

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
9 years ago

Thought fame was calling
Left me to dance as yeti
Now you are homeless

ringinonmyownbell
ringinonmyownbell
9 years ago

Ok I am digging this… I might just submit several… 🙂

Oh Em was a woman so sweet
From enlarged liver to feet
A Rainbow girl, all smiles and pearls
My X thought she was so neat

An old fashion girl, it’s true
With the office men she did screw
My X was the knight, with dick oh so bright
On her broom to the future they flew

The first wife, you know, well that’s me
Was supposed to cry in her tea
Well her life turned out fine, Her friends are divine
With her children happy to see.

Em, what will the future hol’?
With disordered abusive asshole
Order that wine and drink, you are fine
Because that dick shrinks when it’s old… or cold, or crabby or tired or feeling mean or whatever…

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
9 years ago

Love it Ringinmyownbell! I am not very poetic so I love to read all of these!

Maree
Maree
9 years ago

“Because that dick shrinks when it’s old… or cold, or crabby or tired or feeling mean or whatever…!”

ringinonmyownbell, there is a God after all. Poetic Justice I say. 🙂

Freeatlast
Freeatlast
9 years ago

So I married a liar
Who likes to breathe fire
He fucked in a tent
Now she pays his rent
Since he can never stay hired

Freeatlast
Freeatlast
9 years ago
Reply to  Freeatlast

few more…..

He’s into BDSM
Schmoopsie has to obey him
Made her buy him a truck
Her finances he’ll fuck
Getting away, chances are slim

He says he’s a polygamist
Be grateful you made the list
Oh, how he sparkles!
You’re nothing to him but narckles
1 wife, 20 girlfriends, that’s the gist

Said our marriage was open
Told all who would listen
You believed the schmuck
Him you did fuck
He’s gone and you’re living in a basement

TheBetterJamie
TheBetterJamie
9 years ago
Reply to  Freeatlast

Love, love, love these, freeatlast!

Justme52
Justme52
9 years ago

I thought we were love struck
The whole marriage through
But it was just an illusion and the illusion was you.

Lacking nuts
Lacking nuts
9 years ago
Reply to  Justme52

Nicely done.

NoMoreNarcs
NoMoreNarcs
9 years ago
Reply to  Justme52

Elegantly done

beendonengone
beendonengone
9 years ago

Wow! I had forgotten this. I do believe I got busy helping to care for my sister, who was very ill, (now terminal & in her last months…weeks?) I was mainly lurking then. I went & looked at other entries & am truly humbled to have had mine selected, as there were so many worthy submissions. There is a heap of imagination, expression & skill to be had in this mighty group. Extraordinary!!! 🙂

NoMoreNarcs
NoMoreNarcs
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Chump Lady, it takes real talent to get a likeness right. Totally knew it was JS

beendonengone
beendonengone
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I’m happy you had the opportunity & you did a GREAT job! I thank you & will email with my particulars. 🙂 Thank you also for the opportunity to get it off my (our) chests. Ding so is so cathartic and empowering! <3

DoneNow
DoneNow
9 years ago

And my limerick…

Craigslist scammers, gold-diggers, and whores
Who are looking for pervy old bores
Call my Ex.-he wants to meet ya’
He’ll get you an fiance visa
In exchange for some blow-jobs and chores

DoneNow
DoneNow
9 years ago
Reply to  DoneNow

I wish we could edit these. Oops…”a fiance”, not “an fiance.”

stuntchump
stuntchump
9 years ago

I worked so hard to be a great spouse
But my partner was really a louse
When I meet others in tears
I say “Chump, have no fears,”
I’ve been there, done that, got the house.

NoMoreNarcs
NoMoreNarcs
9 years ago
Reply to  stuntchump

Applause!!!

Lunachick
Lunachick
9 years ago
Reply to  stuntchump

I got the house too! Rock ON!!

stuntchump
stuntchump
9 years ago

If it weren’t for
Her poor choice and low standards
I wouldn’t be free.

TiredMomma
TiredMomma
9 years ago
Reply to  stuntchump

Nice!!

smarternow
smarternow
9 years ago
Reply to  stuntchump

😉

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
9 years ago
Reply to  smarternow

Two enthusiastic thumbs up!!

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
9 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

Love this one StuntChump! Embodies the message of this blog!

stuntchump
stuntchump
9 years ago

🙂

Lunachick
Lunachick
9 years ago

I was married to a man child named Shawn
who never lifted a finger, and never mowed the lawn
But he was nice, or so I thought
Because we rarely ever fought.

But then he started to act strange
He dressed nicer and put gel in his hair
And it was not long when I found out he was having an emotional affair

Emotional or physical, I’ll never really know
But it was enough for me to go
and say “Oh hell to the fuck NO.”

ChocLemonGelato
ChocLemonGelato
9 years ago
Reply to  Lunachick

Oooooh, I hear you LC!

I loved once, a man named Peter
I was Pumpkin, he was “Pumpkin Eater”
Before me, bed notches were at fifty
In the sack, thought he was quite nifty
and entitled. And now, known as “cheater”

(Never actually told him that before him, I’d had better… should I?)

ringinonmyownbell
ringinonmyownbell
9 years ago

Her body he wanted to fuck
Poor sausage, his wife was schmuck
But the joke is on you, his issues were FOO
Now you know, what we know… He SUCKS

Stella
Stella
9 years ago

Thanks for the grin!!!!! Love this one!

RobinLee
RobinLee
9 years ago

Must get this out of my system….

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You really suck,
OW, too!

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
9 years ago

She said, “You’re not the boss of me!”
And was as arrogant as arrogant can be
Found the other man by looking at the cell
Remember her eventually saying other bar trash as well
And now I divorced from her happy and free!

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
9 years ago

She thought she could help others rebuild trust.
As a “Christian” marriage counselor that is a must.
At least one affair partner on the side
Trust shattered as she lied.
And continues to angrily deny her marriage she did bust.

freeatlast
freeatlast
9 years ago

One day my husband announced I was old
Suddenly he treated me cruelly and cold
I felt quite bereft
And as soon as he left
I paid my son’s tuition from his car that I sold

freeatlast
freeatlast
9 years ago

One day my husband the strumpet did rob
When he was gone I started to sob
Now he is annoyed
He remains unemployed
Forever after he has not found a job

freeatlast
freeatlast
9 years ago

My husband I could no longer please
For there was nothing one could do to appease
He constantly lied
But he could no longer hide
When he came home with an infectious disease

onthehill
onthehill
9 years ago

There once was a man from NJ
Who always HAD to have the last say
He thought he had me down
So he could EA his way to town
But Mommy had HER last say, today!

CRHCHK
CRHCHK
9 years ago

Sad letters you thought would repair
The damage you did without care
I read them each once
They prove you’re a dunce
Now I’m living a life that is clear

stuntchump
stuntchump
9 years ago

It seems you can cheat
On an open marriage, too.
Husband’s new love did.

Arnold
Arnold
9 years ago
Reply to  stuntchump

I am sorry I have to be blunt
XW fucked a nasty old runt
I think it was oozing
and there was some bruising
certainly did a number on her front

stuntchump
stuntchump
9 years ago

Their love is so great it was fated
They had cheating in common he stated.
Should I feel bereft
Now that he’s left?
Because all I am feeling’s elated.

Should I stop? Clearly I can do this all day.

TheBetterJamie
TheBetterJamie
9 years ago
Reply to  stuntchump

No stuntchump, share away! I’m loving it!

ringinonmyownbell
ringinonmyownbell
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Drat… I will get no work done at all…:) Next I think we should come up with lyrics for popular songs. LIke I’ve been working on the railroad…

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
9 years ago
Reply to  stuntchump

No, Stuntchump, don’t stop, you are really good at this–as is everyone else! Will you ghost write (stuntwrite??) write one for me>>>>LOL.

Oh! I just wrote two lines in my head using the names of two of his strumpets…..

ringinonmyownbell
ringinonmyownbell
9 years ago
Reply to  stuntchump

Me too… I.HAVE.TO.DO.CHORES.and TAXES

My X is not over me, although I am happy and free
My kids will soon see, his bashful, sweet other
Looks just like their mother
Bring popcorn! this creep show is free.

TheBetterJamie
TheBetterJamie
9 years ago

Literally laughed out loud from that, ringmyownbell…so perfect!

chumpanzee
chumpanzee
9 years ago

Bahahaha!! excellent!

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
9 years ago

“Bring popcorn! this creep show is free.” You guys are awesome!

findingmyself
findingmyself
9 years ago

His affairs weren’t the issue, you see
the problem was actually me
I didn’t know I should be happy about him dating another
I didn’t know I was supposed to be his mother
And now that I do, I am free

Magical Momma
Magical Momma
9 years ago

I wrote a similar poem a few weeks back. I’ll take another stab at it.

One two, why OW not happy no more?

Don’t like the final score. Should’ve thought about that on the hotel floor.

Three, four, is you a hermaphrodite or whore?

A mouth like a sailor, behavior to match, oh me oh my, what a wonderful catch!

Five, six, divorce is done, you got your fat boy, ain’t this fun!

Why threaten his X? The deed is done, my lawyer’s the champ and his was a bum!

Seven, eight, oh wait, don’t hate,

He’s broke as hell, not like, oh well!

Nine, ten, XWife in the den. Counting up all the hundreds, fifties and tens!

ringinonmyownbell
ringinonmyownbell
9 years ago
Reply to  Magical Momma

Love this.

coco
coco
9 years ago

There once was a twat called Paul
Who thought he could have it all
She said ‘ we don’t need contraception’
He caught an infection
Their baby is due in the fall

zyx321
zyx321
9 years ago
Reply to  coco

Love it, 4 of 5 lines match my ex!

kb
kb
9 years ago
Reply to  zyx321

Schmoopie had a hysterectomy a little over a year ago. STBX informed me of this fact before I announced that I knew he was having an affair and we were getting divorced. I’d been afraid that she’d get pregnant–she only just turned 40 the summer before–so imagine my relief when I heard the news!

MovingOn
MovingOn
9 years ago
Reply to  kb

One of the best things my ex ever did was have a vasectomy after we were done having children. At least my children have me; a child that those two cheaters created and raised together wouldn’t stand a chance. Whatever damage they’re inflicting on her two children is bad enough.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
9 years ago
Reply to  MovingOn

Mine did too but it wouldn’t have mattered cuz the OW apparently couldn’t have children. Sometimes natural selection really does work!

ringinonmyownbell
ringinonmyownbell
9 years ago
Reply to  cheaterssuck

Before I had my three, he wanted to go to the knackers (the local animal castrator) and I wanted him to go too. It wasn’t only that I didn’t want more children, I wanted to be sure that whatever resources that man might produce in his life would go to MY children… not some poor little OW child.

findingmyself
findingmyself
9 years ago

I’m smart, loving, kind
I wasted decades with you
to find you are not

TheMuse
TheMuse
9 years ago
Reply to  findingmyself

sad but true.

NWBiblio
NWBiblio
9 years ago

You and she both your marriages did rend
With no efforts at making amends
You left me & the dogs
Like a couple old logs,
Can’t believe you thought we’d still be friends.

NWBiblio
NWBiblio
9 years ago

Congrats to you and your love, Schmoopie,
But pursuing “true love” ‘s made you loopy.
So much younger than you,
When you’re old, sad, and blue,
You think she’ll stay home & clean up your poopy?

TheBetterJamie
TheBetterJamie
9 years ago
Reply to  NWBiblio

Mua hahaha, NWB!!!!

NoMoreNarcs
NoMoreNarcs
9 years ago
Reply to  NWBiblio

Someday he’ll sing, “Oh Schmoooooop-ie, don’t take your love to town”

CalamityJane
CalamityJane
9 years ago
Reply to  NWBiblio

My lover bear had lots of money
Found out he was playing with Bunny

What! More than two of us?
I said no more uterus

So now he is paying for honey ; )

Tempest
Tempest
9 years ago
Reply to  CalamityJane

Bitter bunny?

Love it!!

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
9 years ago
Reply to  NWBiblio

NWB—bwaaaaaahaaaa! Good one!

CheeseHeadChump
CheeseHeadChump
9 years ago

You swapped pics that were wrong
Your tits, his schlong
Our marriage you defiled
Then acted like a child
So I say to you, “So long”!

TheMuse
TheMuse
9 years ago

ha ha ha

PF
PF
9 years ago

I’m breaking the rules…because I’m not a good poet……CL I bought your book and extra copies….so here it goes

She done hug a tree…cause that was in style
Now….she hug a gun, cause she living in Dallas….in a cowboy palace
Our son is in rehab…she wear a t-shirt for the boyzz
It look good on her fakebook…she all about the shizzel
She eat the kosher bacon…and use a straightener for her frizzle
Her new Hub….Humpty Dumpty Amo dude and a Potato Dinner
Cause dey is Americannnn…and dey live in da best land
Holler…holler…..and a square dance
If your son is lost….he just gotta learn how to dance

outoftheblue
outoftheblue
9 years ago

Your ten Commandments
session must have been different,
Sunday School Leader.

Chchchchchanges
Chchchchchanges
9 years ago

My ex was a serial chatter
Whose online stunts made me madder.
When confronted, the cad
Said, “What I did was bad,
But how you REACTED was badder!”

TheMuse
TheMuse
9 years ago

good one

True Chumpette
True Chumpette
9 years ago

Once there was a guy named John,
Who thought he was a real Don Jaun.

His hands and dick wandered,
His wife’s love he squandered.

Lost his job cause he was calling women,
In lies he was swimming.

He got on his knees,
Begged his wife “pretty please!”

Then clever Don Juan told her a fiction,
It wasn’t his fault (it was an addiction!).

So Don Juan went on the DL,
But his wife knew him too well.

His kids disowned him,
The girlfriend won’t bone him.

His fearless wife got a divorce,
She’s betting on her own course.

Now all he does is cry and moan,
To get laid he’d have to take out a loan.

Matilda
Matilda
9 years ago
Reply to  True Chumpette

LOVE this!

namedforvera
namedforvera
9 years ago

Playing fast & loose with the verse rules…sorry, FOO issues ( 😉 )

For 25 years we were married, I thought
Until 20 years in—you decided: Not.
Neglecting to tell me
You went hunting for fresh prey.

I divorced you on my terms:
Now you’re just another pathetic greying middle-aged man
Whose offspring want nothing to do with you.

PAPrincess
PAPrincess
9 years ago

Okay, here are a few. Thank you for this experience. You truly help pull me out of myself, every time I fall into the sad, self pity routine. CL you offer truth….. they simply do just SUCK!

City Slut Business Woman what did you do
With my husband 22 years older than you?
He left me so cold. Boo hoo he was feeling so old
Now the bastard can mind-fuck with you.

Passive Agressive
Mind Fuckery Asshole Man
Cheers He is all yours

You are like I was
30 years ago, justice
He will drain your soul

Don’t you know the code
Married men aren’t on the field
Spread and ready girl

Oh No you didn’t
Silly slutty whore work wench
Suit can’t hide the stench

His blue eyes and cruel lies are now yours to cherish
You win his floaters in your toilet
His grey hair and limp dick will make your romance perish
You didn’t think before you shared your sink
with an adult sized problem child
He is all yours, you special girl,
lucky lover of a man who can’t function, envision, provide well or think

Stealing is a sin
Sparkly long legged ho
Rot in your winnings

Magical Momma
Magical Momma
9 years ago

Little Jack Horny, sitting on the corny, pondering what he’s become.

XW all gone. What’s that? Where’s my fun? Uh oh, crazy HO has come undone!

What is she saying? In the background a brayin,

Should be happy as a clam, just sayin.

“You got your money”! she shouted.

Damn straight honey, Magical Momma retorted.

Karma bus has arrived, it’s running on empty.

No money for gas, Dear lord, such a pity.

As my lawyers victoriously walked out the door, poor Jack started feeling like a big fat boar.

Please tell me exactly what you did this for? That’s right, I forgot.

Peace, joy and love to you and your whore!

freeatlast
freeatlast
9 years ago

My husband he did constantly tell
All the young women that his wife from hell
“Poor baby” they said
then they lept into bed
and planned what to do with her things they could sell

Stella
Stella
9 years ago

Here’s my limerick…maybe there’s another one in me, maybe not–because there’s so much I want to say! lol

His weenis, ED and PE
meant decades of “chaste” for me
His geezer gut, horrendous
His ego, stupendous
LTA with a hooker, you see

Matilda
Matilda
9 years ago
Reply to  Stella

How typical of a cheater to blame everything on their loyal spouse!

Qwerty3.14
Qwerty3.14
9 years ago

Our baby wasn’t yet one
You wanted to have some fun
Found an Internet whore
Who was seeing four more
My, how I should have run

MountainLily
MountainLily
9 years ago

Viking for Mashley
*****
All his buddies called him, “Thor”
When he kicked down a door
And showed Mashley his hammer,
This still makes me stammer,
“I won’t touch that any more. ”
*****
He wanted a stay at home wife,
And took a decade of my life,
Turns out I was just a prop,
With Mashley at home in his shop;
His hammer is no sword, it is a 3″ knife.
*****
Now this “Thor” and Mashley are wed,
They took the house and bed,
Home Wrecker your timer is set…
And soon Mashley, you won’t forget,
Mask off; you got Loki instead!

It Is What It Is
It Is What It Is
9 years ago
Reply to  MountainLily

AWESOME Mountain Lily!!!!

Stella
Stella
9 years ago
Reply to  MountainLily

I love love love the last line in this!!!! rotflmbao “Mask off; you got Loki instead!” HILARITY ensures!!!!! Thank you!

Koru
Koru
9 years ago

I gave you my love
You took it and left me with
Children and herpes

angelgirl
angelgirl
9 years ago

Asswipe of 38 years
thought he brought me to tears
Little did he know
The favor he bestowed
when fucking around
and acting so proud
That his lies oh so great
Just lost him his mate

Blindsided
Blindsided
9 years ago

I once was married to a prick
All he thought of was his dick
He slept with a slut
Who smelled like butt
And watching karma hit them gives me a kick!

ANR
ANR
9 years ago

There was an accountant named Rick
Who found a new hole for his dick:
He called my wife “honey”
And used up her money,
Then beat a retreat — pretty slick!

Koru
Koru
9 years ago
Reply to  ANR

Drinking and staying out nights
Led to car wrecks and gambling and fights
Your whores left me cold
– your dick isn’t gold
So fuck off – I’ve seen the lights!

stuntchump
stuntchump
9 years ago

There once was a man-boy from New York
Who came a road with a fork
He forgot his role
When he came to a hole
Then mistook his dick for a cork.

I had to go out selling girl scout cookies with my daughter, but I’m back.

stuntchump
stuntchump
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

They make everything better.

Qwerty3.14
Qwerty3.14
9 years ago

If a man texts more
Than four thousand times a month
Cheater he may be

Chchchchchanges
Chchchchchanges
9 years ago
Reply to  Qwerty3.14

I hear that one!