This was last Friday, would’ve posted sooner but I had to rant about “Waywards” first I suppose.
Frankly, I was surprised to get asked again, as I just did this the other week, but perhaps they have an absence of people who will appear publicly on web TV and self-identify as chumps.
The topic at hand was about feeling jealousy toward your ex’s new spouse or partner. I was the dissenting vote that said I felt no jealousy, only pity for any woman unfortunate enough to date one of my ex’s.
It’s a fairly lackluster performance. I did try and work in the point that in cases of infidelity, it’s totally understandable that you’d want to hit the affair partner/new spouse upside the head with a threaded pipe. Is that jealousy? I think that’s primal. But you have to understand ultimately that a cheater is no prize. You need to take the high road, especially with kids. You may know that person is toxic, but you have to respect that your kids love them.
I had a very evolved panel, however, with everyone talking about trying to achieve not indifference, but friendliness! Personally, I think it is a dreadful idea to cultivate friendliness with people who have the emotional intelligence of gnats, but I appear to be a minority view. The one fellow on the panel described going on children’s outings with both his girlfriend AND his ex-wife. If I were that girlfriend, you couldn’t get me out of the Gymboree palace fast enough, but apparently everyone is copacetic and no one is jealous.
My advice to you is not to date anyone who wants to be chummy with his or her ex. Civil? Yes, absolutely. I think the proper approach to dealing with ex’s is the same level of courtesy you extend to your county tax assessor. No more, no less.
But maybe I’m just JEALOUS… (sigh)