Dear Chump Lady,
I recently read an article entitled “How To Live with No Regrets.” The author said something about listening to your heart. He says that “If you listen to logic and make decisions based on logical arguments, you might end up regretting it much more than if you follow your true desires from the heart.” When I read that sentence, I agreed with him somewhat although not entirely. Listening to your heart is important, but most times you can’t go wrong with making logical decisions.
He then continues to use having an affair as an example to support his argument. This example upset me a little, because I don’t think that following your heart justifies lying to your partner (having an affair does involve lies and deception doesn’t it?). And following your heart is suppose to mean being honest with yourself (though this is where you have to be careful, because doing so can sometimes lead you down the wrong path). His logic just seems to be too simplistic, like he’s giving people reasons for being unfaithful. What do you think?
What do I think? I think the author of that article would be more honest if he wrote: “How to Follow Your Genitals,” or “Duping Others for Shits and Giggles,” or “Whatever Makes Me Happy is Okay! And Fuck You.”
Look, Kate, cheaters gotta dress this shit up. If they can get it published, so much the better. But that’s no hallmark of quality. Look at all the drivel that gets published. Arnold Schwartzenegger’s autobiography anyone? Trees die for worse every day.
But the question you asked is — do I think that “following your heart” justifies lying to your partner? No. I don’t. People who actually have hearts don’t lie to their partners and cheat on them. So it’s one of those theoretical questions that I’m not very good at. Like if a tree falls in the woods and there is no one there to hear it, did it make a sound? kind of connundrums. Let me ask my husband the philosophy major and get back to you.