Did anyone see last week Sunday’s New York Time’s Modern Love? Here’s the link. The writer is one of those very evolved people who forgives her cheating husband, reconciles, later divorces him, but still considers him her best friend, as well as his new wife.
I don’t relate to being friends with your cheating ex at all. I can’t help but think there is this snide undertone here that implies, hey, if you aren’t copacetic with infidelity, rise above, and be closer to the cheater than before? Well, you just aren’t as evolved as me.
Reading this article, I wonder — okay, if this marriage was so worth saving, why did you leave it? She thanks him for his “understanding,” like she understood his affair. Which, btw, he doesn’t sound the least bit sorry about! He marries someone else and all three of them hang out as friends. It’s like Sister Wives or something. Isn’t this just the bee knees for the cheater?
Don’t you wonder with those folks who are exes but still hang out with each other and their partners if people are faking it? Oh, a shit sandwich. It’s not really a shit sandwich, in fact shit is a very acquired taste and only people with really sophisticated palettes can appreciate a shit sandwich.
NooooOo. It’s a shit sandwich.
Playing nice with your cheating ex and his or her latest flame doesn’t IMO make you more evolved, forgiving, and sophisticated. It makes you weird and probably undatable. “Oh, we’re spending Thanksgiving with my cheating ex! I thought we could bring sweet potatoes!” Healthy people don’t sign up for that.
I’m not saying make voodoo dolls and wish them all ill — I stand with “meh.” Be indifferent to them — and learn to VALUE the people who treat you right! Friends do not fuck other people when they are married to you. They just don’t. Friends respect you. They care about you. If you have to eat a giant shit sandwich as the price of admission to be “friends” with someone? You need a new class of friends!
Sermon over. I hope tomorrow’s Modern Love is better.