There’s been an embarrassing spate of Other Women writing on HuffPo lately. This latest one Mara Gibbs takes the biscuit. If anyone wants a look at the fevered rantings of a mistress, have a gander.
I thought I’d catalog several of her delusions, which I think are common among unrepentant OW.
1. All kibbles are good kibbles. Gibbs doesn’t distinguish between notoriety and fame. Tinfoil hat delusion number one — she thinks Rielle Hunter and Paula Broadwell are attractive (!) and intelligent, and is proud to include herself among their company. Seriously? Rielle Hunter’s hair scrunchies have more intellectual gravitas than Rielle Hunter. And Paula Broadwell looks like central casting for the 1936 Berlin Olympics. Does anyone else look at Paula Broadwell and think of Leni Riefenstahl’s “Triumph of the Will“? The sinewed, unsexy androgyny manufactured as sexy. The cultish militarism. God, Gibbs, if you’re going to admire homewreckers have better taste. Marilyn Monroe at least had tits.
2. I’m not a common bar room slut because it’s a Really Nice Bar. Gibbs would like us all to know that it’s a very upscale bar on the upper East Side — the Carlyle Hotel — where she meets her pedigreed married men. Oh thank God it’s not Jaeger shots at Ike’s poolroom in Pittsburgh. I feel so much better about your adultery now.
3. Anyone who judges her is a Puritan. Hester Prynne and the Scarlet Letter are invoked. Yes, just like Hester she is tragically misunderstood by a unforgiving world. Anyone who fails to appreciate Gibb’s very special relationships and naughty frolics are moralistic, authoritarian buzzkills. Gibbs, people judge you because you suck. You’re indifferent to the harm you’re doing to innocent people — the woman married to that guy you’re fucking. Their kids. They judge you for your narcissistic obliviousness. The Puritans may have gotten a bad rap, but they understood pridefulness and shame. Consider setting a spell in the stockades being pelted with rotten fruit. You might repent.
4. She considers herself an expert on marriage (having never herself been married). Gibbs has this fantasy that her married boyfriends have been faithfully wedded for 20 plus years, but get bored. Then one day they’re dazzled by her in a bar and cast off the shackles of monogamy. It never occurs to this nitwit, picking up men in bars, that this is not their first rodeo. No, she’s special. But she’d like to lecture us all about the perils of sexual boredom we shall all experience in monogamous relationships. Please bitch. Whatever you learned about marriage you heard secondhand from that loser you’re screwing. I’ll file it right there with “My wife doesn’t understand me” and “I’m getting a divorce… really!”
5. She’s the Real Victim here. It’s so hard to find a good person who is single. (Note to Gibbs, the good ones don’t fuck you if they’re married.) Her “boyfriend” breaks up with her because he “doesn’t want to hurt his wife” (that train already left the station, buddy…) and she writes “what about hurting ME?” Oh yes, it’s all equivalent. Seriously? Your four-fuck festival gets the same moral weight as this guy’s 20 year marriage, mortgage and children investment? If you need any further evidence that cheating is about dim-witted narcissism, read the self serving blather of the Other Woman scorned.
And, she’s not worthy of a high-quality AVAILABLE guy who isn’t a scumbag. She’s only worthy of trolling bars with expensive drinks, looking for assholes who pose at being married.
She may think she’s a classy lay, but when it all comes right down to it, she’s still just a whore.
There’s a reason she’s not married. It may well have a lot to do with the fact that she knows there are women like her under every rock, and that she cannot distinguish between men who lie and men who don’t.
Pretty sad, really.
Yeah it is sad. My snark and anger aside, I think inside that woman is a pathetic soul hungry for any kind of attention. She’s got to dress her rationalizations up in fuck me pumps, but at the core of it, it’s pitiable.
I agree with all of those. Their lens is so skewed, they can’t even begin to understand what it is like from someone else’s perspective (which might *gasp* portray them as “bad”).
I’ve seen a lot of people badmouthing being “judgmental”, to the point of refusing judgment and keeping an open mind about nearly anything. I suppose this is because they don’t want to hurt their feelings or something? But shoot, I think being judgmental is a GOOD thing. Without any standards at all, where would we be? As a family? As a society? Standards are slipping right and left in so many arenas (the dress code in my local walmart is slippers and pajamas, and is spreading to other establishments as well), and no one bats an eye, because they don’t want to be “judgmental”.
Guys is screwing his wife over? Spent the kids’ college fund on hookers? Eh, whatever, who am I to judge. I think its high time to start having some basic standards and holding people to them.
Hear, freaking hear.
YES. I judge. Also have pretty good judgement. Bar the guy I married, but I was a dumb and desperate 21-year-old when I met him, and lacking in…good judgement.
Some people would do well to exercise their judgement.
And she’s getting old.
I read the article and felt my ire rising. My favourite part is when the married dude told she was the best fuck he ever had…and she believed it. What a dumb twat.
Yeah, I’m being judgemental.
The triumph of narcissism over common sense.
Sure, he’ll say it was the “best” he ever had, if it gets him more. Cheaper than hiring a hooker.
All Other women who date married men and believe what they tell them about their wives are dumb twats. Yep, I am judging them. Maybe it’s something their parents should have done.
An affair with a married ‘ho who is willing to boff a married man is always cheaper than a hooker. It’s just common sense.
How can OWs be so delusional. Are they stupid, or just desperate?
” Just imagine spending 20 years with the same person and after the honeymoon wears off, the children enter the picture. Suddenly, all the focus is on them and their health, education and welfare.”
Oh horrors!!!! As though the children just casually waltz into the picture (via the stork) with the goal of sabbotaging their parents’ marriage. What kind of screwed up logic is this? And how DARE a parent be focused on their health, education and welfare.
This reads like some satire from the Onion.
Pesky children. I bet they want their parents to stay married too. They’re really not thinking of HER.
Kids are so bloody selfish. Mine are like this as well. They just don’t get that dad getting his dick wet with a fresh vagina is far more important than their sense of security and their family. Sheesh. Judgemental, ununderstanding little fucks.
Your kids sound wise beyond their years.
Aren’t most home wreckers proud? Don’t they typically flaunt their prowess as much as possible?
And they still keep friends and still are congratulated on finding love and going on vacations with their new lovers, oh, isn’t it grand? Isn’t love divine?
Nobody cares, it seems.
Well, I assume that all OW/OM fall somewhere on the disordered spectrum.
The LTA OW in my case I’m pretty sure was bipolar, and probably personality disordered. According to my cheater, her father had a long term mistress that followed the family from Michigan down to Alabama. Her ex-husband also cheated on her with multiple women. She claimed she didn’t know STBX was married when they first hooked up (his dating site M.O. was to claim that he was separated) , but I have an email from her following their first encounter that showed she found out pretty quickly, if she didn’t know in advance (as he claimed). He claimed she deliberately sought out a married man, and then threatened “to tell everyone and ruin his life” if he didn’t do her bidding or ever left her. She did keep that promise.
The first couple of months she would call a MINIMUM of 20 times a day, leaving alternately weeping and angry voice mails, claiming he had broken her heart. In fact, for a while she claimed to be hospitalized because of it, and would have her alter egos call and leave messages trying to get him to contact her. Oh – and she also claimed that by dumping her he had wounded her 90 year old mother, and her son, daughter in law and grandson. I know the daughter in law was sickened by the whole thing – no idea what the mother thought of it.
Oh, and per the script, it was all MY FAULT. If I hadn’t been such a shitty wife and been better in the sack, I wouldn’t have driven him out looking for others whom he subsequently hurt.
I originally thought my story was unique – that my cheater had just been unlucky enough to find the one OW/bunny boiler straight out central casting. But no, there are lots and lots of them out there. Mine was only focused on what had happened to her. Had no qualms about calling & telling my daughter (while flying home from her honeymoon), calling cheater’s elderly mother and father (who was dying at the time), and any other friends and relatives she could find contact information for. She called it “telling the truth”, and it was true, but her purpose was to cause hurt and destruction.
The cheating is one thing. Bringing the crazy into my life (and the life of our children) is a whole different level of abuse. 3 years later, and she’s still lurking. If mine were capable of writing, I’m sure she would LOVE to post her story on Huffpo.
I don’t think they’re all disordered. The unrepentant ones, probably, but I don’t think all or hopefully even most of them. The woman who writes http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk was a former OW who now finds the whole thing repugnant. Former OW have posted here or read (so I’m told) that regret the mess and their part in it. And there are a whole bunch of unwitting OW who didn’t know the guy was married and had their own DDays. (Perhaps I shouldn’t call them OW at all.)
But the bunny boilers, the flamboyant in your face, I fucked your husband sorts? Yes — FREAKS. The long-term OW in my story was exactly as you describe yours, right down to the bipolar diagnosis and the stalking and the weepy phone calls. They ain’t right in the head.
Should add, the not disordered ones, IMO lack boundaries and self esteem.
OMG! I hope you don’t own rabbits. Just sayin’
Oops – I see CL already referenced “bunny boilers.” That is just creepy, McJJ. I’m so sorry you have had to endure this crazy fucked up nightmare.
Obviously, she gets off knowing she can have other women’s spouses. More than a bit sick, IMHO.
yes. That is what the OWs at Doccool used to say. It’s a competition with the wife. sick
If your “soulmate” is a lying, cheating, scumbag – well doesn’t that say it all?
Right on Ananda!!!
Indeed. They found someone just like the. I say let them have at each other.
I am constantly amazed by how these cheaters completely disregard the innocent lives they affect when they engage in their selfish behavior. You (meaning OW, STBX) want to call me a selfish, cold bitch and justify why my STBX had his A? Well, I’m a big girl, and although my life was completely flipped upside down and my future plans have now been scrapped for my new reality as a divorced mom, I’m an adult, and I’ll be all right.
But my kids? How do you just pretend that they don’t exist? That they’re not affected? That you throw everything in their lives into chaos– financial uncertainty, living between two homes, dealing with the AP who has been thrust into their lives? How can you be cool with that? How can that not seem like any big deal to you? Isn’t the whole point of being a parent about caring for your children and providing them with proper role models? Having an A is the complete opposite of that.
My STBX’s complete and utter disregard for his children in that sense is mind-boggling to me, and the fact that he and his OW, who also has children, were perfectly fine with jeopardizing the future security of their children is something that I simply can’t understand. I know I never will, and I have stopped trying, but when the thought pops into my head like it did when I read this blog entry, it makes about as much sense to me as a film spoken in Russian with Chinese subtitles. Actually, I could probably watch that film and figure out the basic plot from how the characters behave, so what STBX and the OW did to our/her children makes even less sense to me!
I agree. And you know what’s even MORE mindboggling to me? That cheaters invoke the children in their pleas for cake. Oh, you can’t divorce me! Consider the children! or Go off in a huff then! Have your selfish divorce! You know you’ll be hurting the children!
They wrap themselves in the mantle of righteousness. Or! The ones who tell their kids that hey, their happiness is paramount. They Weren’t Happy, so fucking around was okay. The divorce is just a sad result of the chump’s inability to make the cheater Happy (so blame the chump). Alas, if only the chump had tried harder, but s/he didn’t kids, so you know whose fault this divorce is.
You’re not along with those thoughts, MovingOn. My kids spend time with current OW and she and STBX act like it’s all jsut fine and perfectly normal. I think to myself: how can this dumb, young bitch sit with my children, doing things that we did as a family and not have something inside her saying ‘this is fucked up and I’m a nasty piece of work’. But then, I don’t know how she could fuck my husband and go along with him being out in the evenings to be with her instead of his kids.
I don’t try to figure it out anymore but there was a time when it drove me mad. Now? I just hope she figures out that every single time STBX says ‘hey, let’s do this or that’ it’s something we did as a family and it’s all stuff I created traditions from. Every single activity is stuff I thought up and made family tradition.
I don’t know, maybe that’s what she wanted: all our traditions and lives.
It’s happening in my case also. In fact, STBX immediately tried to blend my daughter with OW and her 2 young daughters AND her extended family (she left her husband too) less than a week after we told her we were getting a divorce. And how convenient that my dd is old enough to be a built-in babysitter.
It was a CHORE reading through that rambling, self-serving, needlessly complex screed.
And I don’t know what’s sadder:
1) That she simultaneously holds a mirror up to her deplorable behavior while at the same time scolding the collective unconscious for labeling her a home-wrecker (basically having her shit sandwich and eating it too)..
2) Or the fact that this woman who appears to be in her 50s is STILL picking up married men at bars.
Mara seems content with the fact that she’s doing everything and nothing wrong at the same time. Her entire, overly complex article can be summarized as: “Hey, I know cheating is bad but hey it’s not MY fault his marriage sucks!”
Thanks, Mara. What a wonderfully mature and forward-thinking perspective on the whole thing.
Look, it’s obvious that the author has incredibly low self-worth if she’s 50-something and willing to settle for being some stranger’s side-piece. Dr. Phil always said: “We generate the results we think we deserve.” Making matters worse is Mara’s sense of shamelessness about what she does; otherwise she wouldn’t have written this:
“As much as all of this [passion and romance] was absent from my previous relationship, I imagine it was also not a big part of Tom’s marriage. I don’t like to call what Tom did ‘cheating’ because both parties in a marriage are being cheated out of something, so who is the cheater if we stay too long in a marriage?”
You’re right, Mara. It’s all Tom’s wife’s fault that Tom is trying to take you home. Gee, she’s probably one of those frumpy wives who left Tom no choice but seek comfort in your loving embrace, someone he’s known for all of what, an hour? Two hours?
She seems like an intelligent woman so I can imagine it’s a struggle for even her to sit comfortably on the pedestal she’s placed herself on. Does she really think cheating husbands find any kind of value in her besides cheap attention? I don’t believe her self-serving bravado because it reeks of desperation.
Plus, usually when a woman shouts: “I’m NOT a whore!”, it means that’s exactly what they think of themselves.
And this gem: “[Tom] was a man who seemed starved for attention and affection and through sex, he was able to obtain both.”
So are you, Mara. So. Are. You. You not only acted like a 19-year-old but you got played like one. You weren’t Tom’s first OW, and I’m sure you won’t be his last, as it’s safe to assume Tom has moved on to other one-night stands.
How you got him is how you lost him.
Well said, Chris!
And I also loved that line about how it’s not cheating if “both parties in a marriage are being cheated out of something.” Mara, how about an unvarnished “the chump had it coming”? You deserve to screw Tom, because the REAL cheater here is Tom’s wife.
When did you meet my STBX and the OW?
OW must be alike all over…
“The most common reason as to why many people choose to remain in their marriages is the unfounded fear that they will lose the love and respect of their children, family and friends.”
Yeah, because nothing gains you your family’s respect like banging someone only a few years older than your own daughter. I’m sure the children will totally respect that you were “bored” so you had to have an affair. I’m sure they respect, nay, truly appreciate the emotional and financial instability you’ve introduced into their lives.
Reading the OW article has put me into a fury.
Just garden variety assholes. Can’t believe people actually publish this stuff. Its mind boggling to me.
“Homewrecker and Proud?”… How about substitute Proud for funny/amusing per my situation, and who knows, maybe proud too.
I overheard my STBX talking on the phone to her mum, saying in jocular tone: (daughter) calls me “the happy homewrecker”, yuk, yuk….. Real funny shit to talk to your OW mom about as you did… The psychopathy is strong with this one.
Ugh. I got like 3 paragraphs in and had to stop reading it. Not only is she the fucking worst, but she writes like a 9th grader. I seriously hope no one is paying this asshole for her illiterate dribble.
I read about them being soul mates and just about died. Do these people have any creativity?
ugh, I know
but i’m /special/!!!
yes, yes you are.
the fact that you posted this artical today it fitting. I found out that today is considered national side chick appreciation day. I was in my car when I heard this bullshit on the radio. OW were actually calling in to tell why they were happy to be considered the other woman. I couldnt stop leasoning to the outlandish stories theise women were telling. They all believed that the wife/girlfriends were the ones to blame for the cheeters actions. it was right down sickening to hear them laugh and giggle about the plans they have setup for tonight with their lovers. As I drove I remembered that my cheeting ass Husbend let it be known early this morning that he would be going out tonight with the boys. I said to my self mmmmmmm. I guess he plans to show apperciation to his side chick tonight. Bastard…………..
You know what is too bad? That the radio station laughing and yucking about ‘national side chick appreciation day’ wasn’t located EXACTLY where that the meteorite exploded over Russia yesterday. Now if we could forecast and predict meteorite explosions a little better we could create our own cheater pants/OW appreciation day. . .we’d send the lovely couple on an lovely excursion to a lovely part of the world. . . and then send them OUT of this world- literally!
That is differently a great creative idea. I wish it was so easy to rid the world of selfish cake eaters.
no. their just sluts and whores with no empathy like the bastards they F*****.
sorry about the language.
The one bit that jumped out at me:
My husband “Andy”‘s mistress (yes, I was paying for her upkeep, not that I knew it) accused me of not knowing how to conduct a relationship.
She acknowledged that she has a history of getting involved with unavailable men, but they are grateful to her for their time together when they go back to their wife / girlfriend (aka chump).
“Erin” also took the moral high ground. We need to put aside our own selfish desires and focus on what Andy needs.
Excuse me bitch? I haven’t been focusing on a 37 year old man’s needs because his 5 year old daughter is having night terrors after listening to her father threaten to commit suicide–and occassionally threaten to kill me as well. But you know, its the grown man whose needs are not being met in this scenario.
She is not divorced yet (thank you *very* much) but she’s going to tell me how to conduct a marriage out of her fount of personal experience.
Seriously, I cannot make this shit up. I wish—I’d be rich. but I’m not that good.
yeah, love the moral high ground from the OW. My OW told me that “no matter what I think of her she is actually a good person and she’s going to do the right thing and she’s going to get another job”. I just need to do something for her: “make my husband happy”. Bitch. Yeah, I’m going to do something for you. Oh, and isn’t she so selfless worrying about MY husband’s happiness?? And then she didn’t end up leaving the job anyway. Alright, technically he convinced her to leave and that lasted for 3 weeks before he hired her back. Just to jerk me around a little bit more I guess. And yes, it’s sad that I felt the need to confront her and yell at her to get another job to try to “help” my husband get rid of her. I guess that is the nature of the pick me dance… get rid of the competition.
Then when I kicked him out she texted me to tell me that she thinks I’m making a big mistake she knows he loves me and what a good guy he is, that she knows we want to keep our family together, and that I will regret leaving him… Oh, and that “she doesn’t blame me for how I’m acting”. I love part the best. She’s willing to do whatever to keep her job and us together. Like have him check in with me and shit. So, I guess she was willing to let him do things and for me to monitor him for the rest of our lives. That was so nice of her! I also liked where she said she knows there is a lot I want to say to her… um, not really. I don’t give a shit about you. Oh, and she offered to let me punch her. Mature. I pretty much just told her not to contact me again. Wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of more drama from me… I’d been fucked over enough, that was my dealbreaker, I was done.
I’ve actually been referring to her text while writing this. Hadn’t looked at it in a while. I guess after the divorce is final (in just a couple weeks!) I should probably delete it.
We should get them together sometime. Bet they could be really entertaining O.O material.
I read their emails (with Andy’s permission–didn’t think I’d take him up on it).
All 3rd grade juvenile soul mates stuff. Yack. And gack for good measure.
They deserve each other. Between the two of them, they have the emotional maturity of a high school sophmore.
Another Erica, Wow! I’m just really happy for you that your divorce will be final in a couple weeks. We here at CL.com will break out the bubbly to celebrate life beginning for you on Tuesday! Let the OW and your STBX eat the sh*t sandwiches they’ll be making for one another- enjoy watching them eat!
She’s delusional and sucks. All the good ones are taken, so it’s fair game to try to take them away?? She doesn’t realize that it’s the good ones that won’t be interested. They wouldn’t even notice her or even be in these hotel bars in the first place.
She “didn’t intentionally set out to hurt anyone”. No, she just didn’t give a shit about them.
Ugh, her expression, “affairs that SUCCEED???!!?” Why would she even want them to if all marriages are just miserable shams? Then she’d be the wife worrying about some other Other Woman.
These are just a few of the many, many things that pissed me off while reading the article. Besides her complete audacity to attempt to “teach” us about the experiences and feelings within a marriage when she has never experienced one and has in fact tried to destroy many of them.
Lastly, I do also pity her. She said would have still stayed with him because “something is better than nothing”. Get some standards and self respect. Yuck.
We should not honor this woman or her writing with one minute of our time or emotions. I haven’t read what she’s written, but I’m sure she is a mentally sick woman. The Huffington Post is irresponsible for publishing her garbage. Stay away. Invest your time in your happiness instead.
Not only beyond sanity, this crap is beyond insanity too.
This guy tells her “my wife is my best friend” and she yet thinks they are soul mates????
She yet wants love from this guy?
A woman that doesn’t even understand what being best friends with a spouse means will obviously get played as a sex toy by that man.
And she thinks she has more to offer than the wife.
No counseling, nothing can change her neurological pathways ,.
She needs a brain transplant.
Yes, SanityRegained. She is a sex “addict”. When was the last time HuffPost had an alcoholic carry on about how great alcohol is, all the many ways he drinks it, why you shouldn’t judge him, why his behavior is good for those involved. Please show me that article, or similar articles from drug-addicted people. These articles are by and for sex addicts. Shame on the Huffington Post for being a conduit.
It’s a really pathetic post, as she’s not reading what she’s writing. Here’s a good example:
“On the last evening that I was together with Tom, I asked a question: Of all of his male friends, who did he consider to be his best friend? He replied, “My wife is my best friend”. I thought, “How could she be his best friend when they were living a lie together? Best friends don’t lie to each other.” At least they shouldn’t. ”
Wake up and smell the coffee. This is a man who lies. He lies to his wife. You suspect he’s lied to you. He’s admitted to 3 one-night stands, but you suspect there are more. The first time he met you, he kissed you. You knew he was married; he knew you knew he was married. You had sex that same night. Did it ever occur to you that these other “one night” stands were months-long affairs, the same as yours? That this man is a serial cheater?
He is so NOT a good man.
You, in your delusional state, believe that you’re entitled to him. You’re “soul mates.” Barf. Did you think about what it means to be soul mates with a man who lies to his “best friend”?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot. STBXH’s OW is currently angry with him. Valentine’s Day came and went–their first together. She thinks she’s entitled to a card. He says he’s sent her a gift. She said that at least she should have been surprised by a card–that clearly she deserves better, and that she means nothing to him. A few hours later, she addresses him as “my prince;” he responds to her, “my princess.” Heave.
I think that my STBXH would love it if OW found some other guy. It would be a huge relief. He’s having trouble balancing his life between me and OW. In his fantasy land, he’d love to live in a castle with me and OW. He could bounce between us for ego kibbles and cake. I suspect–and I think she does, too–that he’d like for her to find another man so that the two of them could go back to being “just” friends. He wants to avoid the active choice of her or me, so he’s defaulting to me, but putting her off for the future. She doesn’t want to see that he’s made that choice. Neither of them think that I have a choice, but mine is the most powerful of all: I pick me.
They, like Gibbs, need to think a lot harder about what it means to be soul mates with someone who’s comfortable lying to, cheating on, and stealing from best friends.
I like it the most, when she shows her eagerness to see Tom’s wife…hehehe (some kibbles of jealousy and feeling smarter/ sexier/ or whatever by their own standards, which are obviously low 🙂 ) …so they do imagine that people like Tom toe in with their wives, even if, they are devoid of sexual attraction towards their wives (can’t help but laugh!).
Everyone, even teenagers of today’s world, knows that meeting on the margins for an hour or two is completely different ballgame than living with the same person. And here it is 20 years. How can a person walk hand in hand all the times during the entire time-span? There may be days people are out of sync for no apparent reasons…why this woman reads so much into it? Just to show that Tom is genuinely attached to her rather than her wife! Some insecurity there. Why? Tom is definitely not a sane married guy. But in normal guys, these many years of togetherness generate a familiarity of a different level with their soul-mates. Public display of affection may not be needed!!! Why be an expert on marriages, when you have never ever lived as a partner! Whores are whores…no classification needed!
And yes! Her imagination (or Tom, the cheater’s confession!) that it is for his wife that he is leaving her. Grow up! You are fifty…how long will you take to grow? This man, Tom, has had eaten his cake with you. You are boring now! He is on the lookout for other or maybe has found one already :). They are steady with their wives but cheat in between girlfriends…Can’t you see? Given a chance, they would like to have it this way. Have his wife as his fixed pole (you can be jealous of this…hehehe), while people like you make way for other people like you.
Are any of these OW’s/OMs of , at least, average intelligence?
I mean it is one thing to just be a whore. But. to have such a lack of judgement as to publish this stuff under one’s real name, with no clue how she comes off to people, is just plain dumb.
Remonds me so much of that Reille Hunter drone-dumber than a rock.
I think I lost at least 10 points off my already limited IQ by reading this woman’s crap/
Excellent points, Arnold.
I really have a difficult time taking this kind of thing in and processing it. I read it and I thought “Wow! Just wow!!” I really will never comprehend how people like this are able to live their lives this way. Like Arnold said, and be so public about it with her name and picture! She made herself look like the biggest asshole ever. Then to get 40 + people telling you what a stupid piece of fucked up shit you are? How does that not have an affect on you unless you are seriously messed up in the head?
The pathetic part and the part that angers me, is I’ll bet she just loves it. Eats up every single comment and it makes her feel special, superior, more knowledgable of human behavior than the readers who commented.
Although I know it will never happen, I would absolutely love it, if she or another psycho like her would write an OW article like this, and in the comments section NOTHING. NOT A PEEP. Completely empty space. Just to show her she is worthless, pathetic, there’s nothing interesting here, NO ONE CARES.
Words affect people, Lasso, she may deny it, but the ridicule she receives here will seep in and do subtle damage to her psyche.
Nothing wrong with us all letting her know what a fool she is and even though she is a whore, she is still being used by Tom, the cheater.
Anudi makes a good point at the end of her post.
Yes Anudi does make a good point. It hit me after I posted my comment on here about this whack job, I think what drove her to write this and get it published, was to make her fuck fest with this Tom guy real and avoid facing the REALITY of what it was. Like it’s said here time and time again, image control. Even to themselves!
She wanted to tell her story and she didn’t care what happened after. She just wanted an audience. A witness. I believe she knows she’s nothing, to Tom or anyone else. I mean I think I have more respect for a high class call girl that’s getting paid $1000 a night, or whatever the going rate is. But she’s not even attractive so nobody would pay that for her.
She knows she was NEVER important or anyone’s “SOUL MATE”. Same with Rielle H. on Oprah. Geez when I watched that there were several times I thought I was going to fly into my television because of the stupid things she said. But then again it was fantastic because she really hung herself so to speak. Her ego got so gianormous she did the posing in GQ, then Oprah, and that was her ultimate undoing. Not that anyone had any respect for her before this, but this officially turned her and John Edwards and their entire relationship into a total laughing stock.
I think the people who don’t get it, feel no remorse, are so glib and arrogant, are the one’s who ultimately do self destruct. Because they are clearly very out of touch with reality.
These people are jokes. All the fancy justifications are nothing more than tiny band-aids for their total lack of character…she and Tom are out after the same thing — an ego job. Her — I’m so awesome bc Tom wants to screw me the first night. Him — I’m such a stud bc she wants to screw me tonight. Guaranteed if he was single she wouldn’t have gone for it bc she wants to compete against the wife….that’s how she avoids the fact that no man has actualy married her yet. Tom is a loser and wants to forget about being married and having a man’s responisbilities by drinking and fucking other women.
The whole story is pathetic beyond belief.
They’re both tremendous losers
The freak is now responding to all the comments. CL nailed it, impervious to shame.
In one of her responses – “All is fair in love and war”
Doesn’t this point to what CL has said before, “It’s not that they don’t understand, it’s that they don’t agree.”
Yeah, she just responded to one of my comments with :
Fyi-that is your opinion. You should state….”I believe that screwing married men is wrong”.
I am not Catholic or religious for that matter so I am going to say something that is really going to shock you…..all is fair in love and war. Read back through literature and you will learn something.
I think you need to get out more often and see what is out there. I travel and live in LA and NY and believe me it ain’t pretty…the men that is. Frankly, the single men withwhom I have been involved have been more problematic and screwed up than the married men.
She suddenly started posting all over her column today. The more I read, it just seems very sad and lonely. The narcissism doesn’t even piss me off any more.
All’s fair in love and war? Like men are a resource we must be desperate for and grab by Any Means Necessary?
So when that betrayed wife comes with a shotgun, are you going to believe the “all’s fair in love and war” THEN?
LOL you crack me up CL. It is so sad! I think in one of her comments she mentioned that Tom or one of her other married men, “Went back to his BORING life” after ending it with her. What a dumbass. In all her wisdom she doesn’t know that for the majority of these types there is never just one? She’s isn’t any more important than a Lay’s Potato Chip and yet she can’t see it. So sad.
Well, Mara, don’t get married. Just keep bringing more pain to other people. God knows I would hate to see you “suffer” the way you have hurt other people.
Want to date someone in a loveless marriage? Tell them you will…AFTER they get divorced.
Also…hope all your friends know to keep you away from their husbands. Your callous attitude towards other people’s pain shows the deficit in decency in your character.
You have no idea the kind of pain people like you spread to others. The two best words that I can use to describe you: Selfish justifier
This was my post. HAD to do it.
Mara responded to one of my comments.
I am not justifying what I did. I knew this article would cause controversy. I am not looking for sympathy or compassion. I am an adult and did what I wanted and I responsible enough to know that what I was doing may cause others pain but guess what, I don’t care. Life is short and when you find someone you want stop thinking too much. I don’t regret what I did. Sorry. I am sorry for all those men and women whose significant others dumped them for someone else or cheated and stayed living the lie with them. Shit happens! It happens whether you are married or not. I know girls who have been with a guy who never told them they had girlfriend or wives. It happened to me too. I didn’t know the guy with whom I was involved the second time around was married. I am not sorry for writing this article. I knew in advance that it would stir people’s emotions. That is life. No pain no gain. Believe me, I have had many relationships with so called mentally healthy good guys who were single and they ended in tears for one or the other. You go into every relationship with your hair on fire.
The most significant part of that? “I am an adult and did what I wanted and I responsible enough to know that what I was doing may cause others pain but guess what, I don’t care.”
Remember those words. Drill them into your head. They can dress it up however they want, but when it comes down to it, they did what they wanted and didn’t care if it caused others pain.
What a monster. And a fucking idiot. Who says, “I don’t regret what I did” and follows it up with a “sorry”?? It just sounds ridiculous.
She sucks. It’s hard for me to believe there are “ordinary” people out there that actually are so totally sick and twisted on the inside. How can living a life like this actually give her any kind of happiness? I will take my BORING life any day. I’m pissed my STBX brought his trashy drama into my life. I look forward to the rest of my life being drama-free.
Someone posted that she was beautiful and obviously intelligent in one commentt on that rag.
Well, I wont go into the “intelligent” deal or the fact that she is a sociopath.
But, the woman is butt ugly based on her photo.
I think I saw that she comes from wealth, I doubt she could get published without the aid of her family $$. She writes really poorly.
Your exchange with her, CL, was such a mismatch. I was embarrassed for her.
You look better than she does, too.
Thank you Arnold. In fairness, however, I’m like a decade younger.
Yeah, well I am a decade older than she , yet I look better, too. She just has bad genetics which have affected her candlepower and looks.
I know this is petty, but she is such a smug, smarmy, sociopathic asshole who , apparently, has never had to grind it out and make a living like we peons, that it feels good to criticize her.
I bet her affiar partners were no great shakes, either.
I would love to pay someone to do a drive by pie-ing of this cretin.
Oh Christ. She is on Youtube, being interviewed about her “book”. What a disaster.
She went to UC Santa Cruz.
My buddy’s wife went there and serially cheated on him during their 25 year marriage. According to him, UC Santa Cruz is chock full of these new age idiots.
Hah! One of the OM in my husband’s cheating ex story (the poor sap that wound up marrying her after my H threw her out) went to UC Santa Cruz. Maybe there’s something in the bong pipe.
I think you may find that many of the new agers(and Santa Cruz is full of them) have this NPD affliction. Thye are drawn to the nebulous concepts that allow them to rationalize their narcissism.
Every single one of her responses shows how off her rocker she is. In a response to me I noticed she uses the word “succeeded” Angelina “succeeded” in getting Brad to leave his wife. Salma “succeeded” in getting her married lover to leave his wife.
It’s like to her this is the pinnacle she’s wanting to reach. Her Mt. Everest is succeeding in getting a man to leave his wife because of or for her. Some goal! Not to marry her because she repeatedly states “I don’t believe in marriage.” But she does seem to believe in fucking married men. She is so pathetic.
The woman who “succeeds” at that game wins the sparkly dog turd.
She’s on a roll with comments today. I got:
You sound unbeleiveable angry. You were obviously hurt by someone you trusted. It shows in all of your comments. My parents have been married happily for 60 years and many of my friends have happy and healthy marriages. But there are Truth is, when a couple marries in their 20’s and reaches their 40;s and 50’s there are inevitable changes that occur. Couples can or cannot grow apart. I spoke of those that grew apart. In my opinion, there seems to be a trend of divorce happening after 20 years of marriage. Why? The children are no longer at home and the guilt is lessened. You can keep throwing your angry comments out into the blogospere, but maybe you are the one who needs the therapy. Or….go write your own blog about your beliefs.
“You sound unbeleiveable angry. You were obviously hurt by someone you trusted.” – YA THINK?!?!?!?
That is how the betrayed spouse feels (in combination with many many other feelings). Obviously she has never been in a real relationship, and is probably incapable of actually feeling the complete and total trust we had in the other person. Trust that they wouldn’t dick us over. Ugh.
But that was good advice about starting your own blog. You should really do that 🙂
Well, she just keeps digging a deeper hole with her drivel.
This is so much that Rielle Hunter woman. even with the vast majority of people flaming them, they just keep charging ahead, completely oblivious to how they come off.
When one is dealing with someone like this, you just cannot ever get them to conced defeat.
I’ve mentioned this story before, but it illustrates what you are up against in dealing with an NPD.
My first wife, a summa cum luade law school grad(albeit at a second rate law school that produced me(( which says a lot about who they let in)), was serially cheating for years, absenting herself from our children’s lives for days on end.
When confronted wit this she simply told me ” of course i get more time off than you. I have more friends than you”.
See, that was a light bulb moment for me when I finally realized that her entire value system(essentially that she was better than other folks) was so differnet that whatever factual information you would bring to her attention about her behavior, was interpreted using this value system.
In Mara’s case, you can point out all the fallacies of her premises. You can point out that she has never been in a marriage and has no experience in a 20 year relationship.
You can quote her saying that she has no regard for the well being of those that she has no direct relationship with(proposition, I know). It just does not register.
This woman is a monster, and a dumb one at that. But, you see this a lot out there in the world. And, the best thing anyone can do is to steer clear of her, as I do my Ex-wife.
Truly, women can spot this in other women better than men do.
If you want to get a good take on this woman, wathc the youtube interview by some power dron named Joan Quinn(interestingly, the prelude to the show is a series of protraits and photos of this obese woman, Quinn, in a variety of poses. The host dresses outlandishly on the show, as well wearing some weird ass tunic deal with a headband).
Gibbs names drops and is referring to her extensive travels in youth and beyond.
She , clearly , led a very prvieliged life and has not had to struggle. No wonder she lacks empathy and one has to wonder why, with all her $$(family) she still could never have a decent relationship with a man.
She mentions the Kennedys (all fairly low IQ’s ,btw, relative to many politicians(also not the brightest) in her Huff Po writing re justifying infidelity. What a moron.
I hate people like this, born on third base and when they cross home plate, act as if the hit a homerun.
I pointed out with all her country dropping that she had something to compensate for. Then I pointed out that I had visited all the ones she mentioned and more. Unlike people like her, I was raised to be aware that I was born on third base, to use your metaphor. Trust me when I say growing up I met plenty of entitled people who would pity you for not being sophisticated enough to see how wonderful they were.
I am so tired of seeing cheaters engage in infidelity without being held accountable! Marriage is a commitment–a contract that is entered into freely. This vapid, shallow narcissist who feels no moral compuction or empathy for the spouse or the children because she “is not friends with them” in entering into a affair with someone knowing that they are aiding and abbeting in a deliberately, deceitful and damaging act and should have her moral compass examined, as it is likely that her lack of morality carries into other aspects of her life.
It was a challenge to read through this dribble, oh, but I am so wrong…..she cited so many authorative sources on marriage/infidelity in popular movies and television shows!
This slut brain has no understanding of the commitment and depth of a marriage relationship and should have to walk in the shoes of the betrayed spouse and child to see what hell and permanent damage has been created by blithly engaging with no sense of responsibility in pursuit of her “romance and love with her new f*** buddy”, and then have to pay damages.
I am all for laws which allow a husband or wife to sue their spouse’s affair partners–there are actually a small number of states that do have alientation of affection laws that allow a spouse to sue the person who seduced their spouse.
For someone who lacks empathy, sometimes making them pay through their pocket book is the only way to make them feel the pain.
What a stupid and pathetic woman. She thinks she knows so much and that she has it all figured out. She has not one little bit of goodness in her body. If she wasn’t clearly so stupid, I’d say she was evil.
She writes this article and she hasn’t even figured out, in her own mind, what really happened with this affair. One minute Tom is wonderful. The next minute he is an alcoholic social climber. He has nothing in common with his wife, but then she’s his best friend. He broke up with her because he felt guilty, then it was because he couldn’t handle two women and that morphed into, he had to quit the affair because of his “livelihood.” And she can’t tell us the real reason.
But, what else would we expect? A “relationship” (I use the word loosely) built on lies will ultimately be described in such inflicting ways. That’s the nature of the beast. But she can’t see that because, a) she’s just too stupid and, b) she needs to believe her various versions of the truth so that she can justify her choices and, most importantly, so that she won’t have to face the truth, which is—> Tom is a male whore and she is a whore. They are not soul mates; they are two whores getting off, just like all the other whores. Tom probably dumped her because she started getting all “soulmate” on him.
I swear, about half way through her Mistress Manifesto, I decided that the piece was a parody. I thought that there was no way someone really believed all that bullsh*t. It then took awhile for it to sink in…it actually hurt my head… that she was real.
I’m left wondering what happened to women like her to cause them to be a person who could believe all the stuff she believes, and make the choices she makes?
It’s sad, really.
It is pretty obvious that Mara is just not terribly bright, as well as being a sociopath. She name drops, country drops, and contradicts herself a lot.
This woman has no substance, no real sense of right and wrong. I am not sure what set of circumstances produced her (genes? environment? A combo platter) but I see a lot of this type flitting through the world. They sicken me.
My first wife was like this, a product of extreme privelige, superficailly charming but lacking any substance.
Like Mara, she was glib with the word salad deal(“Soulmates”, “connection” and lots of other new age gibberish). She had zero empathy, like Mara, and a twisted morality.
I think they have banned me from making posts at Huffpo. I guess I called her “stupid” one too many time. LOL. I’m dumbfounded that she can post some of the stupid nonsense that she does, but I can’t say she’s stupid. She clearly is. They are stupid for allowing her to write a blog there. It reflects poorly on them, if for no other reason that she can’t write! She’d get a “F” in English 101.
This lady is in outer space! I went to her FB page. She posted a link to this article like 3 or 4 times. Pretty much nobody on her friends list commented. Maybe like 1 or 2, 3 at the most. I mean, I don’t have a ton of FB friends, but I post a pic of my labradoodle and get 25 likes and comments!
I’ve gone from being mad at her at first, to laughing at her, to pitying her and now find her kind of fascinating because of my own personal interest in psychology and PD’s. It’s like a observing an animal. lol
She has been all over the place. Her newest comments she says “I’m addicted to them SEXUALLY” “The sex is very strong, very powerful…” “Why should I go without sex?” Who in the hell told her she had to?
And NOBODY said the married man gets a free pass! NOBODY! She’s so out of touch with reality.
Then she says she knew women would attack her and take their anger out on her. They’re all angry and bitter. The OW always gets the blame, why not the husband that cheats? Yadda yadda yadda.
The only person on that entire thread who is REALLY angry, bitter and taking it out on others is HER. She played with fire and she got burned. She doesn’t want to accept it. She can’t handle this rejection.
I feel I’m seeing a real life potential for a Fatal Attraction or darn close to it with this woman. This is her acting out. She feels the need to do something to regain control. This is it.
“I don’t believe in marriage” she said this a number of times. I’ll bet she has said it to MM she slept with. But then became emotionally attached to this Tom and he bailed. But she’s in denial obviously saying, “We’re soul mates” “I was the best sex of his life” “I gave him a last hurrah” -She’s even in denial that he found a new side piece.
This woman is out there. Bat shit crazy.
This article? Or the one on HuffPo?
Is she that desperate for kibbles that she’d post a link to me? Btw, if she did, my FB hits are not off the charts, so apparently no one gives a fuck.
Who would defend her? I suppose there is some collective of flamboyantly unrepentant OW out there to rally to her call… but I guess they can’t be bothered. Narcissists are selfish that way.
HER article on HuffPo! With a status update about the OW always being vilified.
I know this makes me look sooo nosy. LOL but I just had to peak. If you go by her FB timeline and what little feedback she has gotten I think this lady is a very lonely soul. I think she has acquaintances from all over because of her travels and money, but that isn’t the same thing as real family and friends.
Who in their right mind would post on FB about being the OW and taking pride in it?
Who posts it on HUFFPO for crying out loud? I think it’s got more readers than her FB page.
I get that. But FB is more personal. It’s just really creepy and sad.
CL, is Huffpo so desperate for bloggers that they are ok with the crap she writes? Never mind that she’s crazy and it shows; she can’t write! She couldn’t pass Remedial Writing at a community college unless she was blowing the instructor. Don’t they edit.
Yeah, she’s bat shit crazy. Fun!! Interesting!! Her and Rielle, birds of a feather.
LOL at her FB page! *That* is sad. Not that I think that FB is all that, but, it would seem to me that if you had any real friends, they would comment on your big blog post on Huffington Post. If she had any married friends, they have probably decided to never allow their husbands around her. I don’t know how you could maintain a decent friendship after writing that piece of revealing crap. She pretty much outs herself as not only stupid, but without any sense of care or concern for anyone other than herself.
She’s going to die a lonely ole woman, that’s for sure. The few men that would desire to continue contact with her, in their old age, likely won’t be around that long, as they will die miserable deaths of liver failure.
I still cannot fathom why Huffington Post would even want her to be a blogger. She has nothing of value to offer. She’s an embarrassment to herself and to them. She’s a horrible writer, and really, who is the editor that she works with? They should get fired also!
P.S. She’s an aging party girl. I can imagine that the party is drawing to a close and the fun is drying up. Kind of like her pitiful arms in all of those sleeveless dresses she looks so frightful in. She needs to hit the gym instead of hitting on married men.
I noticed the arms too. Ewwwww!
The arms, pretty funny.
This poor, stupid woman. I would pity her, but she is so unlikeable.
She is scary. According to her brand of morality, she would feel ok about shooting you dead so she could steal your scarf that she liked. I’m not sure if she’s just really stupid or just downright evil. Clearly, she is a classic narcissist.
Being stupid and a NPD are not mutually exclusive. Look at Reille Hunter. Ugly to boot, like this woman.
Your writing is very amusing and I did have a good ol’ laugh. As a good friend of mine who is one of the top divorce lawyers in the country said to me, “You can screw anyone you want without guilt.” Sorry honey I guess I am just another “narcissist” as you call me. Hate to say it, but when I saw the wife of the man I was screwing for over a year, I understood immediately why he needed an extra-marital affair. She looked his mother, just like Petraeus wife looked like his mother. Sorry, but if you ladies don’t keep it together and make it exciting for your partner, if you focus too much on your kids, your handsome hubby is going to go elsewhere to get laid. I could care less about this man John Hardiman and his wife Donna who lacks the insight to see that her husband had been screwing around on her. Their marriage is not a marriage, it is a business partnership. He married the managing partner of his law firm Sullivan and Cromwell. Women marry up so I guess so do men, When I once asked him if he wanted to go lingerie shopping, he said he took his wife lingerie shopping and she bought a flannel night gown. I think you get the picture. 22 years is way too long for any one person to stay in a marriage today, children or no children. I don’t believe in marriage. Your words don’t bother me, they amuse me. Again, if someone strays, it is not the fault of the other woman or man with whom they are having the affair. The marriage was already over.
Well, look who it is. Bunny Boiler Extraordinaire, Mara Gibbs. “Could care less” (FYI…it’s “couldn’t care less”) but who is all over the Internet desperately trying to justify her whoring around. Honey, you need serious psychiatric intervention. Your sickness just oozes from everything you write, yet you are so pitiful, you can’t see it. You don’t justify your whoring sround; you serve as a warning for other women who are considering becoming whores. You claim not to care about this horn dog man whore John (he must have really pissed you off, seeing how you are now calling him out by name!), but you write about him year after year after year. But you can’t see that, because you are sick. SICK!!! If anything can make a woman feel better about leaving a cheater, you can. Only an idiot would want to stay with a man who put his penis into a nut job like you, and I suspect a majority of other women whores are disordered in the same ways you are.
Here she is folks, Mara Gibbs, in all of her glory. Enjoy, there’s no end to her craziness. She will entertain you with her stupidity for days.
Proof that for these people any attention is good attention. No standards to be had.
So glad I’m not you.
Clearly the thing she had with this John person (“Tom” in the HuffPo article) has torn her to pieces. She’s been blabbering about it for over a year. The HuffPo article was written a little over a year ago. And here she is, still going on about it. Only now, she’s pissed off enough to use his real name, his wife’s name, and she names the law firm he works for. This woman is a loose cannon. It’s sad, really. I particularly like the way she digs at the appearance of the cheated on wives. As if she’s some sort of beauty herself; she isn’t. Mara Gibb is the epitome of shallow, and she lacks any sense of common decency and morality. She’s probably one of the saddest, most pitiful people I’ve ever run across.
And if she can’t get any more attention from him or feel superior than his wife she can at least provoke us and feel better than us. Honestly she wasn’t saying anything a year ago, so why now? This the only place she feels she can get any reaction?
I used to feel angry at her and her smug superiority complex. Now I just feel bad for her that this is the best she can do while we go live authentic full lives.
As much as I’d like to rant at her or call her out, I’m done mud wrestling with her type. This is my last response. She’ll have to find someone else to get some reaction from. Might be funny to see what she tries. But it will probably just be sad.
CL, your sarcasm is brilliant.