Stay in Touch

Check out CL's Book

Got a Revenge Story?

Hi Chumps,

Hey I was approached by a production company in New York City that’s doing casting for a reality program, recreating women’s actual revenge stories on cheating boyfriends/husbands. (Men and lesbians, I guess you’re out. It’s a hetero revenge angle. Sorry.)

Who was it that got the post-nup with the infidelity clause and the idiot signed it and then cheated? You should definitely give them a call.

If you’ve got a good story, and you don’t mind appearing on camera, you could get a trip to NYC to be on air. Here’s the casting call if you’re interested:

LADIES! HAVE YOU EVER FELT SO BETRAYED YOU MADE SOMEONE PAY THE PRICE?? A successful NYC production company WANTS TO RECREATE YOUR STORY ON TELEVISION.  We are seeking women who have plotted and carried out suspenseful TRUE stories of revenge against double-crossing, cheating, lying husbands, boyfriends or BFFs.  Stories should be comedic in nature but have a climatic shock-factor to them. Please submit a short synopsis of your story to: RevengeGirlsjcg@gmail.com An on camera interview is required!

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at info@chumplady.com. Read more about submission guidelines.
  • I got revenge on my cheating ex-wife and her last (?) affair partner–by not standing in the way of them getting married. Nothing I could’ve done would’ve been half as brutal.

    • Brilliant!!! My STBX isn’t married yet, but he sure has come to realize that his new life isn’t all he dreamt about (read: it was NOT all my fault that he was so unhappy all those years …).

  • I would be careful those sort of programmes dont always portray revenge seekers in a positive light.

    We had one of those programmes in the UK the production company lulled participants into a false sense of security and then entitled the finished product Revenge of the Bunny Boilers or something like that I cant remember the exact wording but it was pejorative.

    • Good point. Personally, I think “meh” is better than revenge. But other folks hunger for reckonings and exposure, and for them, I posted it.

      I suppose it’s an alternative to ABC’s “The Mistresses.”

      • Meh is better. Looks better in court too.

        Not that I didn’t have revenge fantasies, but I sublimated them with good ole Hollywood movies. That Jerry Springer stuff is too low class.

        My favorites:
        She Devil (Meryl Streep and Roseanne Barr)
        First Wives Club (Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton, Bette Midler)
        War of the Roses (Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas)
        Diary of a Mad Black Woman (Tyler Perry)
        Intolerable Cruelty (George Clooney, Catherine Zeta-Jones)
        Tamara Drewe (British actors — I loved how the cheating old goat met his end)

    • I still can’t believe they brought Trisha and Jeremy Kyle here – I thought I had escaped them!!! lol

    • Hi

      It was entitled ‘Bunny Boiler and Proud’ (please see cut and paste blurb below)

      —————————————————————————

      ‘Bunny Boiler & Proud’, tells the stories of several people who have gone to excessive lengths to get revenge on their partners.

      Among them are ‘Wife Swap’ subject Lizzy Bardsley, who cut up her ex’s suits and put laxatives in his dinner; and a jilted husband who killed his wife’s cat by cooking it in a tumble dryer.

      • I like meh better.

        Plus it is my sincere hope that there is a special place in hell for all people that torture and kill animals for any reason (including revenge on a cheating ex). It would also be my hope that before they enter that special place in hell that they are tortured and killed in the very same fashion.

  • Not touching that.

    Andy would completely flip. And, sadly, karma bus has not yet reached its destination.

    But I’m definitely getting a lot closer to not giving a flying fuck either way.

  • I don’t think the post nup w/infidelity clause was revenge, it was practical and damn smart is what it was

  • Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

    The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.”
    ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

    Revenge may be wicked, but it’s natural.”
    ― William Makepeace Thackeray, Vanity Fair

    Vengeance and retribution require a long time; it is the rule.”
    ― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

    The best revenge is living well.”
    ― Jerry Seinfeld

    “Don’t worry, I’m not quitting. I’ve decided I’m going to stay and
    make his life a living hell while I run his business into the ground.
    –Kim to Abe”
    ― Devon Rhodes, Silver and Gold

    “She’d said that revenge was not sweet, that it was bloody. She was wrong. It *was* sweet. For one fleeting, glorious moment you felt incredible satisfaction. Then it was gone, empty, and you had to go on living. The power high that filled me with her light had faded, and all I tasted now were bitter ashes.”
    ― Sunny, Mona Lisa Blossoming

  • Funny that this should be CL’s posting today! I think the powers that be are soaring overhead.
    I have spent the past 3 years plotting the revenge I wanted to have when it was all over.
    I can only touch her as my decree limits what I can do about the STBX.
    I have been plotting and waiting. Having all of her personal data and knowing her friends and family make it really tempting.
    Today I realized that it just isn’t worth it.
    I wont lower myself to that. She will never have children, she will never be able to hold her head high and he refuses to discuss her, no photos of them together.
    It looks like they each got what they deserved.
    Perhaps meh really is the best revenge.

    • Very short answer…”meh” is just not caring anymore. CL says it best. One Tuesday, the thought of your cheater will cross your mind and you will realize you just don’t care. That is the essence of “meh”. That Tuesday WILL come; the particular Tuesday just cannot be pinpointed on a calendar.
      You have to simply go on blind trust from those who have also walked every horrible, rotten, awful step that it will happen.
      I was blindsided, still am stunned, was suicidal and in 2 psych wards and on a ton of medication but am now almost to “meh”.
      He lives with the choices he made. I also had to live with the choices he made but now I can make my own choices with a clear conscience and pride in my integrity.

  • I did have the post nup thing, but I dont consider it revenge. I did out think him, and he is a chess champ-een, so I am a little proud of it, but it wasnt revenge. I was sincere and truthful, he wasnt and he lost. Wouldnt touch that show.

  • I have entertained revenge. It’s a very human thing to do. But you know what? STBX and OW deserve each other. Maybe I can milk out a bit more than the court would allow in our common property state if I take the high road and tell him that I realize that he’s unhappy, that I won’t stand in the way of his happiness (please take the house, less my 60% of the equity in it, refinance it and the two of you lovebirds can live there.).

    Living well is the best revenge. That’s what I’d like to do.

    • I will add that my revenge fantasy is winning the state lottery, at an amount low enough so that after I split the winnings with STBX, I’d have enough to pay off bills, put a sufficient down payment on a nice house + land, and have a good set-up for retirement. Then continue to lead my life. OW would bleed him dry within a year.

      I know this is an absolute fantasy, as the statistical odds of dropping dead upon waking up are better than the odds of winning the lottery. 🙂 Still, a woman can dream….

  • The only vengeful thing I ever did was when the judge ordered that I give him half of all the household goods. Which I was more than happy to do; he’d taken nearly everything of his already and there wasn’t much left to pack anyhow. What was left was mostly kitchen equipment… Corelle dishes that had belonged to his grandmother, pots and pans, sets of flatware and utensils, tumblers and juice glasses… things like that. I wrapped each piece in newspaper and then packed it carefully in sturdy cardboard boxes, which I taped securely so that they’d survive the journey to his new place, wherever that might wind up being. I figured it might be a while.

    Well… Gee Sunny, that doesn’t sound very vengeful to me.

    The judge said I had to give him half.

    The judge didn’t say I had to give him half *clean*.

    I made sure my then-little daughter and I used every single plate, dish, cup, fork, knife, and spoon that he was due to receive. All the pots and pans. Dirtied up the trays. We didn’t do dishes for almost two weeks in the process. Every meal, we laughed and giggled at the end of it as I carefully wrapped up each item, concealing all the food residue and sticky mess, then neatly packed it in a box.

    He was staying at a friend’s empty studio apartment, roughing it bachelor-style, and was planning on using the kitchen things. He discovered my treachery within a couple of weeks. I laughed like h*** when he howled at me with anger over it.

    But true to form, he didn’t ever wash all those dishes and cups and flatware himself. Oh no! After the OW (who ran an escort service), the stripper he dated after that, and the 15 year old he knocked up (but that’s a story for another time), he found himself the prize-winner of ALL prize-winners who was so desperate for a guy who would marry her that she put up with all his abusive ways and obvious contempt for her… which included unpacking and washing each and every disgusting item. A whopping eighteen months later.

    Glad I packed those things well. I was right; I figured it would be a while before they saw the light of day again.

  • Vengeance is so much fun….especially when you can do it while taking the high road. Background of my story…he was AF and on a year tour in Saudi. He called 13 days before my trip and said “get health insurance, I want a divorce” I went to Saudi anyway…like a good little chump does and was sent home 3 days later because he needed time & space…apparently 7000 miles wasn’t enough…
    I knew I was missing a piece of the puzzle (the OW) couldn’t put my hands on it so I went to town on his email account. It took all of 2 hours for me to figure out what he had changed it to (before Dday I was allowed his password) I discovered a purchased plane ticket to our home and a charge for a moving van. It was clear, thanks to my family who could see the writing on the wall, he was going to blindside me. So what did I do? I took his car to the dealer to have maintainence work done…oil change, tire rotation, couple warranty issues…it worked perfectly. He arrived unannounced at our home if course I wasn’t there. When I arrived we talked, I was still trying to save the marriage at this point, but keeping him stuck was an extra bonus. He asked where his car was. I to.d him it was at the dealer. He had to explain to them why he was back so suddenly….yup my bitchy wife is so abusive she took my car to get fixed….high road and annoyance in 1fell swoop. Sorry honey, I guess I outsmarted you yet again…and btw if you are changing your password to hide something, don’t change it from your old car to your new car…that’s just too easy…

  • My revenge is letting him live the life he is living right now with the OW. Their relationship already had the police involved, an arrest, (hers, for breaking his nose) destruction of property, unemployment and alcohol abuse.

    Nothing I could ever do would top what they are doing to each other. And I would never do anything anyways, it’s not worth it. HE’S not worth it. Karma, she sees and takes notes.

    My life? Has gotten exponentially better since I don’t have him in my life anymore. Nice and peaceful, and happy. I can do what I want, when I want without his negativity swallowing everything. He did me a favor.

    • Wow, jewells. Yes, your revenge is a terrible one–by giving him what he wanted! LOL!

      And yes, your life must be so much better now!

  • I had many revenge fantasies but glad I didn’t act out on many of them. The worst thing I did was pour salt into the bottle of KY massage oil I found in his travel kit which I knew he wasn’t using with me. I thought adding jalapeno pepper juice to it but decided that was just too cruel. I kept imagining the questions the ER physician would ask when they showed up with burning genitals, though, and that imaginary scenario gave me a lot of pleasure.

  • I had lots of revenge fantasies, of exposing my STBX and his OW. She was in real estate. The two love birds would meetup at for-sale houses at any time of day or night, for sex. Gross, eh? To think that the new house you just bought might need to have the carpet steam-cleaned? I figured her boss wouldn’t be too happy knowing that she was using clients’ houses for booty-calls with her AP. I had fantasies about getting a PI to get evidence, then showing it to her boss. Maybe get her fired? Maybe embarass her in front of her coworkers? Then send the evidence to her family members…..oh yeah, and her *husband*.

    For my stbx, I wanted to send the evidence to his boss, too. Might have embarrassed him a bit, but who knows, he has no morals, so maybe not . But I did want to have all of his stuff packed up and dumped on the OW’s lawn. Or, instead, maybe pack up all of my stuff and then he would just come home to an empty house, without warning.

    Due to my STBX’s temper, I did none of these things. He would have raged at me and the kids, and it would not have been worth it.

    I decided that I won’t get my revenge, *however*, I am focusing on making a new life, without him (as much as possible). I took the kids and moved across the county, *with* his consent. Now I will file for divorce, and have the upper hand, legally, for custody. Revenge? Not really. Consequences? Yes.

  • Seems strange that all these shows seem to cater to women, women pull this crap just as often as men these days. In my circle I don’t know of one guy who cheated, it was their wives that took off. As for revenge, “Living Well” is the best one, why drag the negativity any further than you have to, as long as one’s plotting and hoping for karma, the OM/OW & X are “Winning”

    • Yeah, live well. But until you manage to divorce Mr Perfect dad and husband, aka Cheater Pants on fire, you’re stuck paying bills and raising his kids AND putting up with his mockery! “Ideally” you are stuck in a foreign country without any support. Can’t even go and visit family for Easter. Let’s see how “normal” people would handle this! I personally want his head chopped off! But no, he must live to pay alimony, that sperm donor, piece of *!

  • Revenge….. sure I wished for exposure for both him and her (she is married with two kids) and they both work for the local sheriff’s department, she was in the reserves and then jail and he (during the affair) was on road patrol. I did contact her husband via email on a website shortly after I found out which I was glad I did. I just want to move on and that is the best revenge. I really have no problem with no contact as I don’t really care to see or speak to him again. We will never be friends and it will always be just about the kids. Right now, I am enjoying sitting back and watching the train wreck. I have come to hear that she was involved in another break up of a marriage although I have no idea if it was before or after her time with my STBX. She has also made the front page of the paper for her dui and hit and run along with her beautiful mug shot. So for his original “I have fallen out of love with you and fallen in love with her” bullshit, I guess she was just not that into him as it seems that she has moved on. Too bad for him… He willingly tossed aside almost 16 years with a loving, devoted wife who had him so far on a pedestal along with the love and respect of two awesome kids. The train right now is still smoking and I don’t think it will ever be extinguished but until then, I will pull up a chair, put my smile on, and laugh and what a fucking idiot he is. Of course I will have my cheering squad behind me. So many people have lost respect for him, and I see that he is trying to keep up his good guy image but we live in a small town and enough people talk and now that she is a local star, it will all come back and haunt him. Years ago, I did tell him that I never needed him in my life but that I wanted him in my life. Well now I don’t need or want him in my life and I don’t really want revenge – I just want my life back, I just have to work a little harder to get it….

  • Dear CL, as a South African, your reference to Tata Tutu made me cry. It was beautiful, (and SO TRUE about the dysfunction that is South Africa. We hate eachother, but we love eachother also. Our faults play into eachother and we spark eachother off).

    I was really devastated, because I really did love him. Thanks for this post, really.

  • No revenge story for me, but I would so enjoy a thread of nothing but true stories about karma catching up to cheaters. Is there such a thing here? My cheating, no-integrity ex’s choices have yet to catch up with him. He seems to be living the good life, with no noticeable consequences yet. I’d like to believe they’re coming.

    • not to worry….the Karma train does get its passengers . I have had a few brief smiles from watching it go by with those idiots on board looking out the windows with the long faces…shit eating grins wiped away…lol……yeah that train does come around every now and then….just doesn’t have a scheduled time tho…

  • Karma is just something us Chumps like to believe in ;~) It makes it a little more bearable thinking the X is going to get it someday. The world has been full of a-holes who died happily in their sleep at 85 after a lifetime of screwing other people around. If there is Karma, who knows? maybe it’s our Karma to go through this because of some crap we put others through in a another lifetime…..

    • yeah so true…we can only hope that they somehow struggle with it…..maybe thats why they came up with silly notion of be-good-or-else you will be judged one day?….who knows maybe we will but ” it would be more fun for us to see it there dude in the sky !…just sayin….why do you get all the fun huh?…whats up with that?…..”
      lol

      • The problem with Karma is by the time it usually happens to them you no longer care, it becomes a “Meh” moment.

        • I think that’s actually the point of karma.

          That they get their comeuppance and you can’t give a flying fuck one way or the other.

          In its own warped way, that has to rub salt in their wound.

  • I put the photos his OW sent him, in all her “glory”, on a no strings sex website, along with her cellphone number. OK, so I did get a earful from the police and was told if anything like that happened again that I would be arrested, but it was sooooo worth it.

    She told him she wanted hot sex and no commitment, I was just trying to help her out!

    • I thought about this too.
      But you know what? That’s how he met her! Paid services! Cheap, cheap, I know because he used our common card!
      So I’ll do nothing. I just hope and pray that Karma or God or some Higher power will come to enact some kind of justice on them.

  • Great stories! If anyone is willing to talk about their story more and is interested in our show, please e-mail me your story at revengegirlsjcg@gmail.com

    Or if you know of a friend who got great revenge on an ex, spread the word!

    Thanks again Chump Lady! 🙂

  • Great stories! If anyone is interested in our show, please e-mail your story to revengegirlsjcg@gmail.com

    Or if you know of a friend who got great revenge on an ex, spread the word!

    Thanks again Chump Lady! 🙂

    -Sammi Miller

  • This is more watching him sweat, but it’s pretty sweet, no matter how it comes.

    I found out 1 1/2 years into a 2 yr relationship that he’d cheated on his ex-wife and that it had ended his marriage. Major red flag, and I realize now that the reason I asked him if he’d ever been unfaithful was because my intuition was kicking in. A few more red flags got thrown into the mix, but I couldn’t absolutely prove anything, didn’t want to tip my hand, and (as we all do) chided myself not to be a crazy woman.

    3 weeks ago, staying at his place overnight, I got up in the middle of the night to get a drink. One of the red flags from earlier had been him suddenly seeming to guard his phone. He’d either keep it in his pocket while at my house, or leave it in his car. He even took it into the bathroom with him one morning (he thought I didn’t notice). I knew he was texting someone, but I couldn’t prove it. So I’m standing in his kitchen, having a drink of water, and realize his phone is just sitting on the counter. Damn right I looked. And found. Emails from a woman on Match. Nothing hot and steamy, and I didn’t look for texts or deleted emails or even her screen name to check her out. I didn’t need that. A man in a 2 year relationship who “can’t wait to marry me” shouldn’t be communicating with anyone on a dating site. I knew there was a lot more than just what I’d found, and I didn’t need details screwing with my head.

    I kept my cool and made an excuse about being sleepless to leave. He walked me out, kissed me and told me he loved me and would see me for dinner. “Looking forward to it,” I said. I went home, logged on to Match and waited while I wrote the email he was soon to get. As soon as he went online, I took a screenshot of his profile (online now!), included it in my email and sent it off. I told him I didn’t care why, who, how many or how long, because I didn’t care. I told him not to email, call, text or show up at my door, I was done.

    I was secretly fuming at myself for being so naive, for caring, for believing, for painting every single room in his vacation condo, for taking a week of my billable time to create a website that he could use to rent it out. I took the website down, but I sure can’t take the time back, nor the paint off the walls he’s probably using to entertain some OW.

    As luck would have it, he’s trying to start a new business and he needs my help with marketing and web development, as he’s about as non-savvy as they come (I mean, really, delete the incriminating emails, dude). I agreed to speak to him and work with him as long as we keep talk to business only. Should have heard him on the phone. Nervous, pathetic, stammering. I was cheerfully all business.

    Should I be doing this? I say heck why not? I’ll take his damn money to help me feel better about everything I did for him that was a waste of my efforts. I won’t consider taking him back, but he’s going to have to deal with me for months; every time I talk to him, sound cheerful and keep it all business, he’s going to know I’ve moved on.

    Truth is, he’s the kind of cheater that probably did love me (in his sick way)…he’s the kind that needs a ‘constant’ in his life so he can have his dalliances on the side.

    I’m going to use his deposit check to buy a new outfit for my date next weekend.

  • >