Last post we were discussing why not to compare yourself to the other person. If you need any more help in that department, I invite you to read this execrable piece of dryer lint entitled “Oops, I Slept with Your Boyfriend” by Charlie Nox on HuffPo.
Nox is a “boutique sex and dating coach.” Interesting job title choice. Boutique? Go all the way, Charlie, on the douchey over sell. Why not “bespoke sex”? — I think that sounds classier. Artisan, free-range, pastured sex with dovetailed joints. All you peasants who only do Costco sex, you generic, big-box store sorts of daters — you’re Doing It All Wrong. Trade up. Go boutique, you losers.
Because a woman who writes a very public article that she’ll sleep with just about anyone, including her friend’s boyfriends, is exactly the sort of exclusive service provider you want.
Oh, why do I give these people attention? I don’t know. Because they’re freaks. Because a look inside this woman’s head tells you exactly what sort of pathetic attention monger (mongrel) you’re dealing with. To wit:
The few times I’ve found myself the mistress, we have had deep, real, meaningful conversations about their relationships and their commitments, their heart and their body. I encourage them to honor their commitments if that feels good to them. And sometimes it does. And sometimes it doesn’t.
You see, it’s all very complicated. It’s “raw.” Morality shouldn’t be so black and white. It’s fuzzy, (like dryer lint). Maybe she’ll feel like sleeping with your boyfriend, maybe she won’t. But she’s not ruling it out. It’s really up to your boyfriend. She’s not “policing anyone’s morals.”
Relationships are complicated; and emotions and promises and sex and bodies are complicated. I don’t think it’s possible to make absolute rules. I know that in the messy, real, rawness of life, what sounds clear in theory gets muddled in practice.
God, don’t you want dating advice from a muddled person? But it’s a boutique kind of muddled. Act now. Show her a picture of your partner. Maybe you and Charlie can have something messy and real.
But only if that feels good to you.