When I asked for your best resentments, I had no idea the depth of suckitude out there. Oh, I read my mail. I know cheaters suck — but who knew there were so many flamboyantly disordered idiots in the world? I once defined sociopathy as stepping over your sobbing body after DDay and microwaving a Hot Pocket. I need to expand that definition to “while you were birthing their child,” “while you were caring for their sick mother,” “while you were supporting their ass through graduate school,” “while you were paternity testing your children,” and “while you were facing a cancer diagnosis.”
You all deserve a meh mug. Every one of you. Or really, trophies with “SURVIVOR” prominently engraved on platinum.
“Your Best Resentments” hit the all time high for comments at 467 (at present). So imagine the difficulty here trying to choose. When I originally posted the challenge, I was looking for not only horror, but absurdity. The chump’s hand sewn frock coat to the cheater’s Mozart. Many of you knocked it out of the park on horror — the miscarried babies, the child labor that Was Very Inconvenient especially tugged at my heart strings. But to win the mug, I narrowed the focus to nightmare with comedic absurdity, so the winning entry was SummerGirl!
SummerGirl and her daughter rush her very ill mother to the hospital, when they later have a surreal encounter.
I held my mom’s hand for three hours as all the doctors and nurses came and went, wondering if she’d last the night.
After leaving the hospital, exhausted – my daughter and I went to a local coffee shop downtown. I saw a familiar shirt walk by outside the front window.
It was my husband on a date with another woman, walking down the street. I went out and confronted him. He tried to lie. The woman, bless her heart, walked over, shook my hand and asked how I knew this man. As we stood there shoulder to shoulder, hands clasped, she explained he was actively involved on a dating site and had strongly pursued her for three months. It was their first date.
Of course, he had lied about everything to her. Said he was single, no kids – he even lied about his first name.
Totally f*g surreal just standing there shaking that woman’s hand as we stood side by side, staring at this unbelievable lying a*hole, while my mother was lying up in a hospital. We both left in opposite directions after that. He went chasing after her (big surprise.)
Oh, and to top it off: this all happened just a couple of days before Mother’s Day.
A close second on the absurdity was CHAR’s husband who, while in supposed reconciliation, left on a conference with the OW. When confronted he said while the OW was attending seminars, he was actually thinking deeply of ways he could improve their marriage.
Insane, but didn’t quite take the biscuit of the dying mother, cheating husband out on date, surprise encounter trifecta. So SummerGirl — you’re the winner.
If the rest of you feel robbed, and I imagine you do — and you still want a meh mug, you can support the blog by purchasing one here. If that seems grossly unfair, and shamelessly commercial of me, apologies, please add me to your resentments.
This week, I’ve not only been gobsmacked by the shit you’ve all endured, but the kickass ways you’ve overcome. If you need an antidote to the blues, please read and reread all the posts at What Have You Done for You Lately? You guys are amazing. Thanks for sharing your stories, and especially your support for your fellow chumps.
Now get out there and Chernobyl those memories and attain meh!