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A Million Hits!

muffintopHey chumps,

I just wanted to let you know this blog hit a milestone today — over 1 million hits! Quite astoundingly, Chump Lady achieved that without linking to porn or Miley Cyrus.

It happened today while I’ve been attending a blogging conference — Blogathon in Austin, TX, where — funny enough — I came 18 months ago when the blog began and had exactly two pages (The Humiliating Dance of “Pick Me!” and “The Unified Theory of Cake.”)

Thanks to your support and some geekery at this end, Chump Nation is strong! I knew you guys were out there, but I never could’ve anticipated the blog’s success. Thanks so much for your company and all the help and comfort you give your fellow chumps.

Here’s to another million views of “Leave a cheater, gain a life”!

With gratitude,

Tracy/Chump Lady

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at Read more about submission guidelines.
    • Today is the beginning of the end of my old life. I will walk into court at 9 am and come out a single father. Although I feel very alone I know I am ready to face this head on. If it wasn’t for this site I don’t know where I would be. Thank you Tracy and everyone else here. Pray for me.

      • Hey RcCola — congrats on your new beginning! Hang in there. You might be a single father, but you’re the SANE father — don’t forget it. I know you’re going to keep being the best dad ever, that won’t change. You just won’t be married to a cheater any longer. (((Hugs)))

  • Aw yeah! Thank you, CL, for being there with a good laugh and a good kick in the butt when we needed it. Chumps – we’re strong and we’re not alone.

  • Congratulatons, I have so injoyed your site for this past year.

    Through the post of other Chump’s I have learned to understand just how much our cheater’s “suck”. Just so you and the other Chump’s know, there have many days where I was just depressed, mad, hurt or whatever and then I would come to this site and see encouragement or something that was just funny to me and what a differance it would make in my day!

    Keep up the good work and again thanks

  • Congratulations! It’s a great achievement for many reasons, one of which is how many Chumps you have helped along the ridiculously slippery road to some semblance of Self Esteem, and, dare I say it, even Self Love. It really does help to know that we are not alone in what we have gone through. I do go through periods where the blog is hard for me to read as I re-live my own pain through others stories….BUT Chump Lady always throws a refreshing, and truthful, bit of humor in there that has me cracking a smile fairly quickly. Thanks for all you do! Keep on truckin!

    • I’m always astounded by the amount of humour on this site, that we can all see the silliness and laugh through the pain and horror many of us have experienced. I say keep laughing. Nothing eases pain like a good belly laugh (unless you’ve had gall bladder surgery, of course).

  • That’s awesome Tracy. Congratulations!

    Having found this site I feel so much less alone and it has helped me to see the sad pattern that cheaters seem to follow. It has helped me know that an affair is not justified and it’s not my fault. It’s helped me to find healing and support.

    Thank you so much.

  • Congratulations!! Your insight and writing skills are equally outstanding…thank YOU for giving us a place to come for comfort and inspiration.

  • I am so glad I discovered this site a few months ago. Wish I had known about it from the beginning! Thanks for all the work, CL. It is so helpful reading your always-insightful words, and realizing that I am not alone in having been a huge CHUMP.

  • Congratulations Chump Lady, you deserve it.
    I link you a lot in Mumsnet, a British site of middle class mothers which is so powerful the politicians have to refer to it.

    Mumsnet is in no doubt that cheaters suck, and that [Chumps] should [Leave The Bastard].

  • Congratulations, Tracy. I thank you from the bottom of heart for making me realize there is nothing wrong with me and that my life could be a million times better (it is). Thank you to all the chumps here who, along with Tracy, have made me think, laugh and cry. Most of all, thank you, all, for giving me a sense of belonging, and reminding me I am not alone in this uphill, but liberating, journey.

  • Dearest Tracy:
    Thanks for writing what was in my heart and mind when I had my D Day and for being the only one I could find that backed up what I felt, curses, humor and all!!!You and everyone here helped me get back to me! There aren’t enough thank you’s for that.

    Although I am very happy that over a million of been helped by you it saddens me to know the numbers are growing. Knowledge is power and I hope that as the word continues to get out that it helps stop this insane behavior on the part of the perpetrators.

    You done good Ms. Tracy!

    • Deborah,
      I felt the same way when I read about a million hits – so much betrayal going around, it’s devastating. I am glad, though, that we have found one another through this blog. Life would have been a lot more difficult without Tracy and her crusade to set the record straight.

  • No, Chump Lady. Thank you! You have been invaluable to my healing. No longer will “chumps” have to scratch their chin after being “chumped.” Their behavior has been exposed for what it really means, and when you know what it means, you know what you’re dealing with.

  • I wouldn’t have made it to where I am without your blog. Until I found it, there was nothing out there validating my feelings about being chumped. Thank you, and congratulations.

  • Oh Tracy!
    The day CL began was pivotal to me and I will never forget it!

    And the success you have realized – I knew it would be so. There was a throng of voiceless sufferers who needed you. Hence, the Chump Nation!

    I feel like I’ve witnessed the birth of a great movement. The wreckage wrought by infidelity to families, communities, nations and the global society is too mighty to quantify. But you, our witty sage, are doing the hard work of proclaiming that infidelity is not a joke and should not be dismissed or taken lightly. You are shining the harsh light of truth on the destroyer of souls.

    So congratulations my friend. I am so honored to have been here from the beginning and so proud of what you’ve accomplished.

    And never forget, your efforts are deeply appreciated and you are making a difference every stinkin day!

    • I hope it is the birth of a movement! That’s why Tracy also needs a book, so that when the amazon chumps of the world go shopping after Dday they can find her/our POV as well.

  • Wow! I hope you were a big star ar the blog conferance! You are a star to us.
    When I found you back in March, I felt so lame- gaslighting, lies and minimizing will do that to you! Then, I read all the intelligent and knowing comments here, and the compassionate but tough way CL writes, and I knew it wasn’t me. CL got chumped twice and she’s super-smart!
    Your blog has led me by the hand back to the land of normal. I’m thiiiiiiiiiiis close to my new and better life sans cheater, thank you and keep on writing!

  • I am a chump from Australia and would love to be able to comment on your amazing posts but for some reason it will not allow me to do this.

  • Tracy, you are the best friend to Chumps! Seriously, I was in such a swirl when I found your site – like so many others before me. I only wish I had come across you earlier, I would have saved myself a year of confusion. Thank you! (PS – I’ve shared your blog on Facebook!) Thank you.

  • Thank you, Tracy! Your site has been such a blessing – incisive truth to help me see through the gaslighting *and* encouragement to help me believe there could be a bright new life on the other side. Finally free!

  • You’ve created a wonderful forum Tracey. Thank you so much. I’ve been on a few forums since my hell started, but yours is by far the most significant, honest and helpful. Simpley brilliant.

  • Congratulations for bringing us all together. Might have taken months if not years without this great support system. I find it terribly sad that a million hurts had to reach out for solace. That is a lot of broken hearts.

  • This is a bitter sweet milestone. However, since discovering this site I have learned how to recognize the bitter but work towards the sweet. Thank you, CL!

  • While everyone is thanking Tracey, I would love to put out a suggestion.

    How about if every chump who is making it through one day at a time with the help of this site makes a donation to help keep the site going?

    Since I was the one to tell her to put the ‘donate’ button on the page, I am putting out a chump-challenge…everyone who loves Tracey, and her talent for making this insane process actually funny, give a small donation to keep this amazing site going.

    Not only for us who are weathering the storm but also for those poor souls who will come after us.

    Congratulations Chumplady and thank you.

  • This site is like a support group where everyone shares a cup of coffee and gets right to the point. No bs, just straight talk to get each other to an honest place. This is not an insult but this blog, and the people who share it, remind me of the people who have to go behind the parade and clean up the elephant shit. Chumps watched a parade of beautiful floats, animals in costume and listen to wonderful band music. The problem is that the parade was not real life and left a whole lot of shit behind. One person, by herself, would take a long time to clean up, but a group could get it done faster and share humor and information while doing it. I think your blog helps many people to heal faster and get the shit cleaned completely away.

  • CL
    We first ‘met’ on TAM and I knew then that you were awesome. In fact, I told you that.

    I’m so happy that you are here giving your no-BS advice. Keep it coming!

  • OK, $10 went through in two seconds flat.

    I am very happy to donate that. Firstly, it is a fraction of what I spent on therapy (to a therapist who has been trying very hard not to say LTB for a very long time, and when I eventually filed, said he wished he had had an affair 10 years ago, so I could have had more time [away from the marriage])!!!

    Secondly, Chump Lady is the first site to validate how crushing betrayal is and the selfishness required to do this to another person, feelings I had been really struggling with on my unicorn route, a road that was getting me absolutely nowhere.

  • First Confgratulations Tracie and Thanks so much for all your wonderful strong words of advise I do not believe I could have made it through this awful year without this blog and all the wonderful brave chumps who post here. I have a lease for an apartment in my handbag and will be signing it on Monday ( this is a BIG step for me).
    Secondly; I have donated several times I used paypal very easy.

    • Wow, Janet! You’re out before I am! I think it was going to be a contest as to who sticks it out longer.:)

      Congratulations! I’ll be there soon!

      • kb it is not a happy time for me, put an application in and was told I would hear from them when I got credit approval ( not a problem) and later when an apt became available. 10 days later a letter came (to my office) with a lease for 12/1/13. I opened it and cried and cried. Was not expecting it so soon. But my sister said “Sh-t or get off the pot” and of course this weekend he has done nothing to endear himself to me. I will still be here for 6 weeks before I can move in and I might even do that slowly. I only have a six month lease ( don’t want to tie myself down to a long term comittment) and so we shall see what happens. I cannot tolerate this situation any longer. and I know you will be there soon. ((HUGS))

  • PS; Just have to add this. The other night the H and I were having a discussion about the OW (if he’s not yelling and screaming I consider it a discussion) As he walked out of the room (out of sight but not out of earshot) he says “I do love you” ( had not said that to me in a very long time) and CL’s words played in my ear”Trust that he sucks”!

  • Congratulations, Tracy. Your eloquence, wit & wisdom keep me coming back. You have given me strength & hope during this painful time & help me feel much less isolated & alone. Thank you.

  • Congratulations CL!!!! Thank you for standing up to the Reconciliation Industrial Complex, I am sure your site has, and will continue to save many chumps a lot of heartache and pain. I don’t have much but I donated too because your site is so important to every betrayed spouse.

    Also a thank you to the Chump Nation for all your comments that validate experiences and lend support.

  • Just very happily sent my donation via Pay Pal! Thanks again Tracy and Chump Nation!!!

    Also I want to add that the level of intelligence, compassion and humor here is unmatched and I think that stems from Tracy as that is clearly who she attracts as that is who she is.

    Thanks again Tracy for all of the good you do. If ever you have a bad day just remember all the really bad days you helped all of us to overcome and feel that love and support right back to you!!!!

  • Agreed!

    I discovered this blog only shortly after I’d discovered STBX’s affair. Thanks to the advice here and “The Truth About Deception,” which also advised caution, I kept my knowledge to myself and started to take the steps I needed to take to get out.

    CL’s blog has helped me to understand that cheaters always gaslight, and that you have to trust they suck. Even if your cheater is, as one poster put it, “someone who fucked up, not a fuck-up,” they still suck. I’ve learned that when my cheater is nice to me, it’s because he’s trying to even the score between what he did for OW and what he does for me.

    I’ve learned to recognize that I’m probably married to someone with BPD, and that I’ve spackled over the mood swings for years. I was always hurt because I didn’t understand how he could be so mean and thoughtless early in the day, but then act as if nothing had happened later on. Now, I understand that I can’t understand: crazy shit is crazy shit. Trust that he sucks. Stop spackling. This has helped me cope with the crazy until I get out.

    I’ve been inspired by the stories of fellow Chumps who’ve left their cheaters and reported that indeed, life is better on the other side. If they can do it, I can do it. Thank you all.

    This is my go-to blog each day. It has helped me keep myself sane, and has helped me empower myself to take back my life. I’ve still not left my cheater, but I’m reclaiming my life and who I am. I realize that leaving is something I can do on my schedule, according to the rules I set for myself. This is real power, and I relish it.

    So many thanks!

    • It took me a minute to reply because I was clapping so hard. Getting my life under control has been the single most important goal. I too, have not left ole wing nut, but I am building a foundation to leave on my terms and my schedule. This new-found confidence is directly related to the comments on this blog. I will be forever fateful.

  • First of all, congratulations, Tracy, on a very cool milestone. And second, I can’t think of a better way to show congratulations than by donating to keep Chump Lady going. So that’s what I’m doing next.

    Your words, the sharing of hard-won lessons, no-bullshit advice and humor have been like medicine to me during the most traumatic time in my life. Sometimes it tastes like Pepto Bismol, sometimes like cod liver oil. But it’s curing what ails me!

  • Thanks and congratulations, CL!

    I really appreciate how well thought out your message was, right from the very beginning. I’m sure you’ve expanded on concepts that may not have been fully fleshed out at the beginning… but you always were so sure, you had done your research so well, that I don’t think you’ve ever had to correct yourself or change anything in the slightest. The metaphors that worked from the start continue to work now. Having such a consistent message is really very important.

  • You guys are the BEST! I woke up this morning to a bunch of emails informing me of blog donations. I am humbled by your generosity and support. And no worries — I’m not going anywhere. Just maintaining the blog and plugging away at the book as ever. So many chumps… so little time.

    Thanks again you guys. I’m getting back to our regularly scheduled programming today. 🙂

  • As I’ve said before, CL, you’ve been literally a life-saver.

    And, to repeat again, where the cheater and OP leave a legacy of deep pain that spreads like a cancer through a family, YOU, on the other hand, will know to the end of your life that you have brought relief and strength to many in need.

    THAT is where true happiness resides.

    Thank YOU.

  • Rock on, CL. You probably help far more people than you realize. This site is a breath of fresh air in a world that doesn’t take the pain and destruction of infidelity seriously. Hopefully, some day, we can all “come out of the closet” (so to speak) and help the rest of the world realize what infidelity truly is and does. Chump Lady looks like the first step in the right direction toward that sort of cultural revolution.

    Keep preachin’, CL. The world needs more voices of sanity and decency like yours.

  • I think what you are doing is groundbreaking and I hope the message gets out there to millions more. You deserve every bit of success and joy that comes your way. I am putting your inspiration to good use in my life.

    Thank you! and Congratulations!

  • Chumplady, congrats to you and this wonderful resource. I come here every couple of days, to read, cry, sometimes post, get angry, whatever the case may be…. I can’t thank you, and all the followers of your blog, enough. I don’t think there is any of us here that ever wanted to be part of this Chump Club, but FUCK IT here we are so let’s get our Cuss On!

    Over the past year… personally, I have found my backbone, so much so that my STBX “thinks” I’m in individual therapy and the councilor has given me a totally new vocabulary!

    • Thanks Chump Man for making this chump field level and letting everyone know that this happens as much to men as it does to women.

      I am getting to a point now where I am not sorry this happened to me anymore and no longer feel a victim as it has made me very strong, healthily cynical and more compassionate as well. It has given me the strength to start realizing my true value and has pushed me to take a lifelong dream of starting my own business and begin to make it a reality. My focus is back on me and creating the life I have always wanted and I have fallen in love again……..with me : )

      It’s taken me 8 months of shaky ground, ups and downs, tears, anger, shock, trauma, fear, hate, a thyroid operation to remove my thyroid that suddenly blew up from stress, tons of looking outside myself, inside myself but I am still here and better than before. Now walking in the light again on the other side of the shit tunnel. Got really good at scraping shit off my shoes.

      This was my year of POO and I am looking forward to each new day now knowing it’s mine to do with what I want and no shitheads are allowed in my life. I can smell them a mile away and all it takes is one flush to dispose of ’em!

      Bravo to you Chump Man!!!

      • Thank you, Deb. There’s a real exchange of energy that happens here, on this site. What we have commonly been through sucks so badly.. I guess one has to have it happen to them to understand it. I’m sure there’s many worse things (loosing a child comes to mind) – but this toxic shit eats away at your mind, you body, your money, your past, your present.. your everything. To be with a group that’s moving through this storm, with the same stories, the same angles, it’s heart-breaking, but the “light of the shit tunnel” as you put it, at least there is real hope, a real end, something we are all moving towards. (Re) Gain your life.

        I wish you and your business all the success in the world. What’s that old saying?… “Success is the best revenge” or something like that. Go for it!

  • Thank you Chump Lady & congratulations! I found this site a couple of months ago. Thank you for helping me make sense out of my chaos and thank you for making me realise that walking away from it was the best thing to do. I also thank you for your humour. Let the Chump Nation ridicule the entitled, morally
    bankrupt people & move on to better lives. This site has been a godsend to me.

  • CL

    Congratulations !

    You have no idea how much your blog helps in keeping me NC. It also reaffirms my belief that there are men and women out there who believe in honesty and goodness and ….

    You just make so much sense with your writing and inspire me to get over the trashiness quickly and do something worthwhile, like helping others, just the way you do.

    Really, thanks a lot for writing the way you do ……..

  • Congratulations! You have been the voice of sanity in my life. Even if your advice is against the accepted wisdom (reconciliation), your advice rings true and keeps me visiting your blog every day. Thanks so much, you deserve a million hits!

  • I think the main reason why CL’s blog is so many kinds of awesome (besides her wonderful style of writing) is that unlike many blogs that I have stumbled upon during my divorce journey…she is not simply unloading HER angst over the betrayal in her marriage to try and make herself feel better (kind of like unloading on your girlfriends over a cocktail but to complete strangers). She is actively trying to HELP OTHERS through a terrible time and what she went through is just a side note to the dialogue. Her purpose is not to make herself whole (she has already done the hard work of that on her own) but to help others become whole as well. Kudos!!

  • I read and reread this site almost every day. I can’t even begin to express how much it has helped me. Thank you thank you thank you!!!

  • Congratulations CL! Been here for about 3 months and it has helped me tramendously. You are a very special writer who absolutely connects to your readers with humor, wisdom, and savvyness. Even though I filed today and am finally at the end of the huge shit sandwich my exh shoved in my face, I will continue to read your site daily for the inspiration you and the others provide here..
    Thank you. Thank you.

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