Well so many of you have been after me for a chump dating service, that I had an idea for a post. If this is a nutty idea, hey, humor me. I’m going to write my own Chump Dating Questionnaire, hugely scientific, of course, of the sort you find in those critically, peer-reviewed journals like OKcupid and eHarmony.
Next part is — you answer! And include in your “profile” an email address that you have solely created for this blog post, like DebonairChump@gmail.com or CrazedSingleMotherof5@yahoo.com — do NOT post whatever email you use to post here or otherwise use, unless you don’t mind us (or spambots) writing to you there. This way, if spambots are roaming around, or freaks contact you and this experiment is a bust, well just delete the whole thing and forget I ever mentioned it.
Your answers will appear under your screen name, so we know it’s “you.”
Maybe magic will happen! Or at least you can make a few friends. Perhaps you’ve been reading Nord’s comments and really dig Nord and want to say howdy away from the confines of Chump Lady. Now’s your chance to reach out. And, if it progresses, then you can exchange actual names and emails.
If it’s a bust and no one writes to you, and it’s like a Charlie Brown’s Valentine’s Day debacle — blame me. This was my stupid idea and there’s a lid for every pot, and this is a very primitive dating questionnaire and clearly you’re destined for greater things.
If you find yourself happily partnered and just want to answer for the hell of it — or would enjoy emails from fellow chumps, do state that.
And if you’re a cheater looking for a nice new chump — hey, fuck off! We’re much smarter now. Take your sparkly shit elsewhere. Thank you.
Here’s the Questionnaire:
1. My chump story in 5 snappy sentences is…
2. My favorite way to spend a Sunday is…
3. Red Sox or St. Louis Cardinals?
4. Favorite inspirational quote?
5. Aside from sex, my favorite physical activity is…
6. My top 5 favorite places to travel are…. (places you’ve been to, or places you want to go)
7. The worst my hair has ever looked was when…
8. If you had to be an organic farmer (imagine a despotic utopia where Michael Pollan is king) what would you grow and why? Or are you more of a livestock person? Or would you starve, having absolutely no gardening ability whatsoever?
9. If you could go back to school to study anything (other than organic farming), what would it be and why?
10. If you could invite three historic figures to dinner, who would you invite and what would you serve?