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7 Reasons I Don’t Accept Rielle Hunter’s Apology

DIGITAL CAMERAI’m sure you all were waiting.

In case you missed it, Rielle Hunter apologized today for her affair with John Edwards.

“I behaved badly.”

As someone who blogs about infidelity, I know I should be overjoyed. Here’s one of the nation’s most infamous mistresses saying “Infidelity is wrong.” You can’t buy that kind of PR for the chump cause.

But forgive my cynicism. This mea culpa comes after another book deal. According to Hunter:

My publisher came up with the idea of me going through my book and annotating all of my regrets and mistakes. I liked that idea. I thought it was innovative and interesting, but of course the actual execution of that idea turned out to be excruciating. Owning your past mistakes is no day at the beach but I do believe it is an important endeavor to undertake.

It may be churlish of me, but I don’t accept her apology.

I think I’m a minority of one judging by the comments on HuffPo all commending her for her bravery. It’s not that I don’t believe people engaged in affairs cannot change, or deeply regret their behavior later after some painful consequences. It’s not that I don’t think Other Women are beyond reach.

It’s that I don’t really find her remorse convincing.

To most people, who’ve probably never been chumped, she seems sincere. She says the right things. “I behaved badly.” “I was selfish.” “I hurt people.” “I hurt Elizabeth Edwards.” She comes across as contrite.

As someone who received many such apologies from a practiced liar and personality disordered cheater, however, I see some familiar cracks in the “remorse.”

1. The subtle blame shift. Almost immediately after she says she “behaved badly,” she wants us to know that she was once “viciously attacked” by the media. She says she thought she was a victim. But then, curiously, she never disavows that thought. She says it doesn’t “matter.” I find those two statements contradictory — the acknowledgement of misbehavior, but the dismissal of any substance to those “attacks.” If you truly thought you were in the wrong, you wouldn’t characterize people publicly calling you on your shit as a “vicious attack.”

Heck, I thought she found a discourse on her “regrets and mistakes” to be “innovative and interesting.” So long as it’s her own publisher and not the vicious media.

2. The subtle minimization. “I behaved badly” is the sort of statement reserved for spilled red wine on your friend’s white sofa and not paying the dry cleaning bill. “I behaved monstrously” is a more apt description of sleeping with a married man whose wife is dying of cancer and then continuing to assassinate the woman’s character during her last days on earth. I’m sorry, Rielle — bad behavior and “hurt” don’t just really do it for me.

3. The vagueness. Hunter is rather short on particulars. I found this a telling attribute of my own cheating ex. He’d tearfully tell me how sorry he was, how it just killed him to think of what he had done. But when I questioned him carefully — HOW are you sorry? What do you think of exactly that makes you feel regret? What triggers you? He couldn’t answer me. It was all words and no substance. Hunter gives us a litany of those she “hurt” and doesn’t tell us how she hurt them. Perhaps we have to read the book to learn more. Is it an apology tease?

4. I did it for Love. It’s hard to fault people who love. Okay, she confesses it was selfish of her, but there’s still the not-so-subtle narrative that these were forces beyond her control. Hey, she made the grievous mistake of loving too much. Poor girl.

5. The FOO excuse. “I didn’t realize how damaged I was.” Because I was unaware, hey, all that crap I wrote and got a nice advance for? It doesn’t matter, because I didn’t intend to hurt anyone. Blame it on my damage.

I am a product of infidelity. Both of my parents cheated on each other, and as a kid it damaged me. I then grew up, fell in love with a married man, and caused even more damage. I believe history often repeats itself if you do not take responsibility and change it. Infidelity is wrong. It hurts people. It hurt me and then I in turn also hurt people. It is a chain of pain. One I do not wish to pass on to my own daughter.

6. It wasn’t my Intention. This is a classic ingredient of faux remorse — “I didn’t INTEND to hurt you.” It’s copping to a lesser crime (with a little blameshifting twist, implied “but if you find it intentional, well that’s on you.”)

It Wasn’t My Intention is total bullshit, because affairs are completely premeditated. To live a double life requires more planning than a NATO air strike. In Hunter’s case, they were bribing a guy to pose as her baby’s father. Sounds pretty intentional to me.

I am sincerely sorry for my bad behavior, and for hurting anyone. If I hurt you, I am sorry. It was not my intention, I was thoughtless and selfish, and I am sorry.

Hurting anyone? Haven’t we just diluted the apology exponentially by lumping Elizabeth Edwards and her children with me and the masses? Yes Rielle, thank you. I was offended by your creepy photo spread of you splay legged, naked from the waist down, surrounded by stuffed animals. You can’t unsee that.

7. The lack of humility. When British politician John Profumo was scandalized by an affair in 1963, he dropped out of political life and quietly devoted the rest of his life to charitable causes outside the limelight. He demonstrated true humility, without the self congratulations of a book deal.

That Rielle Hunter thinks the world is eager for her apology and wants us to pay folding money for it, is all I need to know about the depths of her character transformation.


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  • I read the article on her “apology” as well. And all I could think was, she’s reading the script her PR agent wrote for her. It’s all bullshit to get her name in the media for book sales. She doesn’t mean one word of that spew. As you so accurately pointed out, her words sound pretty if you don’t look behind them, but if you know what to look for, you can smell the bullshit and the insincerity.

    And who would want to read her book anyway?

    • I actually read her book! It’s a trashy read, if you like that sort of thing (which I do). She’s out there and full of herself – it almost seems like it’s a satire of an OW, if you’ve never been chumped, that is. If you’ve gone through it, you know what cheaters are capable of doing.

      I read the “apology” as well. Except for three short sentences (“Infidelity is wrong. It hurts people….It is a chain of pain.) EVERY sentence has “I” or “me” or “myself” in it. And yet not once do I see something like “I am (was) the Other Woman. I had sex with a married man cheating on his wife; I’m a cheater.” No, when she talks about her cheating, she talks about “love” or “falling in love”.

      Is this “apology” going to be in the new intro to her “annotated” book? Her book is called “What Really Happened” but if she can add more now, does that mean she held something back when she wrote it? She lied? It wasn’t “what really happened”?

      How many of us have heard this from the cheaters and narcissists in our lives?

      Since Rielle is so full of herself, I can’t see how “I behaved badly” is enough. Reading that “apology” made me think she should quote Oppenheimer quoting the Bhagavad Gita after the first atomic blast: “Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.”

      Because that’s “what really happened”. She (and John Edwards) nuked whatever remained of dying woman’s marriage. The two of them destroyed the worlds of children and families and poisoned those with whom they came into contact.

      The cheesecake shirt/stuffed animal pose in the accompanying picture doesn’t help, either.

  • Since she is “apologizing” to sell the new version of her book, she is profiting by her apology. Hardly the mark of true contrition. I was raised Catholic, and I don’t remember the priest ever sliding a twenty to me through the screen during confession. Seems like it might’ve cheapened the moment, don’t you think?

    I might be more inclined to cut this vapid grifter some slack if she donated all the money from all versions of her book to the American Cancer Society or some similar cause and then disappeared from public life forever. Somehow I doubt that’s likely to happen.

  • Oh no! Here is the classic delusional Narcissist giving a pretend apology for fun and profit! I agree with all your points. Number 2 – I behaved badly- well, when they say that I smell some smugness underneath, as in, rules are for you guys, not me, and also ‘wink, wink, I’m such a naughty girl!’. Puke.
    And number 5 – my FOO issues. Well, trampy girl, I’ll match those with you, and I’ll win, and that just made me a very compassionate person, I would never treat people like you do, ya know?
    Now go away and disappear! No one cares what you say about life, loser.

  • To refresh your memory about how this POS treated that dignified Chump Elizabeth Edwards after the affair broke, this classic bit of blames-shifting from Ms. Hunter’s 2010 interview in GQ magazine:

    “And I believe what happened in his marriage is, he could not go to his wife and say, ‘We have an issue.’ Because he would be pummeled. So he had a huge fear. Most of his mistakes or errors in judgment were because of his fear of the wrath of Elizabeth. He’s allowed himself to be pushed into a lot of things that he wouldn’t normally do because of Elizabeth’s story line. And the spin that she wants to put out there. He was emasculated. And you know, . . . the wrath of Elizabeth is a mighty wrath.”

    • We all know, she was trying to retain some dignity, she probably knew she was married to a loose cannon. Blame-shift onto the wife much?
      Elizabeth Edwards deserves to be remembered as a great, supportive wife and mother of four (!), married to a mostly selfish child of a man (not a real man, just a male type person and definately not a Dad or he wouldn’t have hurt his own kids in such a public way). I’ll raise a toast to you Elizabeth, what a strong and wonderful lady!

    • He was so scared of “Elizabeth’s wrath” that he caused one of the biggest wraths he could in a marriage. Poor John.

      • yes, the classic excuse my ex used… he didn’t want to “hurt” me by talking to me about our problems. And that I would have gotten upset.

        Yeah, his alternative of having an affair was a MUCH better solution! Ugh.

    • Oh yeah, this chick sucks, but this quote really tells me more about how John Edwards sucks and Rielle was delusional. She has to believe his “story” of why he won’t tell/leave his wife while also believing why she is so much better than the wife.

      It couldn’t possibly be because he just didn’t WANT to leave his wife for a piece of trash like her?

      Elizabeth Edwards deserved so much better.

    • So basically it was the old ‘my wife doesn’t understand me/we never have sex/she’s too controlling’ blather. If Edwards was telling her this he was also pulling the classic N ploy of telling him what his wife was doing wrong as a warning that OW should never do this or oops! he’d be off sniffing another vagina in no time. Edwards is such a loser.

  • Stuffed Animals? Really? Is this supposed to “soften” her image? Make her more relatable? Oh, I relate you to something Rielle, I realllllly do….. And the distaste of being virtually naked but for the starched men’s buttondown (the uniform shirt of choice for politicians) and the string of pearls(yes, you’re sooooo conservative Sweetie*eye roll*) is almost too ridiculous for words… What do you think Mrs. Edwards thought of when she saw poor pitiful you 1) on a bed with a pouty expression, 2)wearing a shirt that most likely belonged to her husband(or someone else’s) and WORST of all 3) donning a “pearl” necklace….it is quite the passive aggressive bullshit picture….. and the apology? Bravo Honey, for being precisely as hollow and false as a million other cheater apologies. Awwwww…..your parents were both cheaters? You don’t want that for your daughter? well Guess What? YOUR daughters parents were both cheaters too. And I think the sorry attempt atbeing contrite missed the mark by three letters and just plain trite. but she reaaalllllyyy is sorry y’all…..

      • Yes!!!! The fabled “Unicorn of Reconciliation” peeks its precious little face in hoping to work its sparkly unicorn magic on alllllll who read it *swishing its magical, yet ever so phallic horn*

    • What do you think Mrs. Edwards thought of when she saw poor pitiful you 1) on a bed with a pouty expression, 2)wearing a shirt that most likely belonged to her husband(or someone else’s) and WORST of all 3) donning a “pearl” necklace

      Very funny and spot on observations Super Chump :-)………

      • Sorry for the graphic underlying reference i “saw” in that photo, but my wounds are still raw as I just passed the one year mark of finding out my life was utter bullshit….. And I found everything about that photo to be distasteful, I am SURE Elizabeth Edwards is rolling over in her grave……

  • Geez I felt the same thing. All I got out of this was i’m sorta sorry but you have to remember your part in it too.

    • It’s the old “don’t blame the victim y’all, and LOOK! I’M a victim too!” ploy….i hate to say it, wait, no I don’t…..Friggin Idiot. I don’t have much in the way of respect for cheaters, but at least have the courtesy to own it. As I told my cheater when he callously said something that broke one of our daughters hearts….”I’m sorry BUT….” doesn’t count. Period. Own it Dammit…..

  • Christ. Even Monica Lewinsky was smart enough to shut the fuck up and go away. And for good reason. Nobody cares about her anymore, least of all what she did with a sitting President who left office 12 years ago.

    I’m always dubious when paramours and mistresses come forward with their stories about Men In Power, and the regrets or sorrow they feel, either for themselves or the spurned wives. And of course it’s all wrapped in a publicist-scripted bow and conveniently timed with a book release.

    Like the woman who came forward a few years ago with a nearly five decade old tale about being seduced by President Kennedy circa 1962. You mean JFK cheated on Jackie?!?!? STOP THE PRESSES!!!

    What it really comes down to for me is: “Who gives a shit?” The damage, in Rielle’s case, is done. Poor Elizabeth Edwards was subjected to a HORRIFIC public humiliation and had to endure all of this while she was DYING OF CANCER! And now Rielle has the temerity to come forward, AGAIN, to drudge up all of these horrible memories?

    Guarantee you this book will sell 50 copies. If that. Next time we’ll hear of this pathetic excuse for a woman is in 20 years when one of the news shows does a 5-minute “Where Are They Now?” segment on a slow news day. And even fewer people will care.

    If Rielle had an ounce of dignity she’d simply disappear out of the public eye. And if she thinks this bullshit which SHE HAD A PART IN won’t shadow her daughter throughout her life then she’d better think again.

    I myself am the product of an extra-marital affair and like John Edwards, my father destroyed a marriage and a family just so he could take up with my mother, who was the same age as his children. Thankfully, my father’s first wife didn’t suffer the same fate as poor Elizabeth Edwards and is alive and well to this day.

    But my siblings STILL carry around the shame and hurt my father inflicted on them over three decades ago, and you better believe my origin story fucks with MY head as well.

    Sooner or later (sooner, I hope), Rielle Hunter will learn that the 30 pieces of silver she earned selling out her daughter and Edwards’ other children and cashing in on this disgusting and embarrassing affair YET AGAIN won’t buy much in the way of class.

    And hopefully she’ll learn that there’s never any honor in being The Other Woman. Nobody feels sorry for you and even fewer people are cheering for you. And #Karma usually comes to collect when you least expect it.

  • Mistress and the City, maybe she can get a show out of this new “book”.
    CL–Profumo was a nice touch.

  • Thank you so much for writing this. I and many others have been trying all day to comment on the HuffPo piece, but HuffPo is screening the comments so that only those favorable to Rielle are coming through. I’ve never seen the likes of it, especially from HuffPo. I can’t imagine their reason for doing so, but do not believe for one second that 180-190 comments HuffPo has allowed through is even remotely representative of readers’ take on that piece. For whatever reason, HuffPo is only allowing those comments favorable to Rielle. In the absence of any legitimate give-and-take, it was refreshing to read your take on this.

    • I know, it’s nuts. I can only imagine they did some deal with her publisher to “break” the who really cares? story.

      • Which should serve as reason number eight her “apology” is hollow; she has negotiated its response in advance, guaranteeing that her forum is impenetrable to rebuke. That’s not contrition, it’s slick marketing.

  • Perhaps Rielle should offer up her apology and contemporaneously let everyone know that she’ll be donating the proceeds from her first book and this book to a selfless endeavor … perhaps donating it to breast cancer in memory of Elizabeth Edwards. I might believe her then.

  • When I read the piece I threw up, just a little bit, in my mouth. After that I thought, “I have to email this to Chump Lady!” I was at work so you saw it and I didn’t have to bother.

    Only a selfish, self-centered, pathological narcissist would attempt to drag a dying woman and her family through the mud in which the Ho-Bag herself was already rolling in, only to come back crying crocodile tears as an excuse to do it again.

    No Rielle, you are not sorry. If you were sorry, you would shut the fuck up. If you were sorry, you would be repenting through your behavior by perhaps, I don’t know, being of service to some cause besides your over-sized, all-consuming ego. If you were sorry, the entire article would not have sounded like, “Poor me, look at me, buy my book.”

    This Ho-Bag did not accidentally have an affair with John Edwards. It was a conscious and deliberate act. She was aware that he was married, that he had children and that his wife was dying of cancer. None of that mattered to her. If she had committed premeditated murder, from the tone of the article it appears as though her defense would be, “Yes, I went there with a gun with the intention of killing them, I shot them, but I’m sorry that they’re dead because you know, I really didn’t mean for that to happen.” WTF!!!!

    I was not born in a gingerbread house, with gingerbread parents and gum drop siblings. We all have things in our past which cause us pain or some level of psychic discomfort which we need to work through as adults. However, we don’t all choose to work out those things by having having an affair with someone else’s spouse, nor is a fucked up from the floor up childhood any kind of reasonable excuse for that foul, selfish as shit behavior.

    I feel sorry for the child born from the union of those two flaming turds from hell, as she had no say so in her conception or birth. However, Rielle would do herself and everyone else a favor if she would at long last show some respect for the memory of Elizabeth Edwards and the innocent family members of both Elizabeth and John Edwards, and show some consideration for her own daughter by having a seat in the self-aggrandizing Ho-Bag corner and partaking of a nice cup of shut the fuck up.

  • My story is a lot like the Edwards’ so hearing this stuff about that nasty ass whore demon Rielle really opens up many hurt wounds for me. Although Im certainly nowhere near as inspiring and poised as Elizabeth, like her I was deathly ill with (3 in my case) young children when my exH started cheating on me (with hookers). A few months later, I was hospitalized for a month, and he and one of my work friends started an affair. I discovered the affair shortly before getting out of the hospital, and to this day consider it a miracle that it didn’t kill me. Two months after I got out of the hospital, during false reconciliation, the troll/OW emailed me. It totally reminds me of this Rielle bullshit. The troll/OW wrote me that she “had always supported him to make our marriage work” (hmmm, by fucking him, I guess, while I was hospitalized and then afterward?). Also, she “didn’t want to continue in the middle of whatever conversation/ relationship we had.” I guess by “conversation/ relationship,” she was referring to our marriage. Needless to say, she did continue, and my exH left me and our 3 kids to live with her 3,000 miles away. The only other thing to note is that just like Im no Elizabeth, my ex is no John Edwards. He is super sparkly and incredibly charasmatic, but he’s also a lying cheating, alcoholic, drug-using, abusive, unemployed deadbeat dad. Sorry for the overshare, but As CL says, sometimes we need to get our story out. And this Rielle shit REALLY makes my blood boil. She is a phony, immoral, money hungry parasite on society.

    • I like the part about the OW supporting your husband to make his marriage work….so she was content being a side piece/jump off and he found this attractive! Hope she has the decency not to email you when he cheats on her.

    • Having that Total Jackass (because he can’t be human and do that shit) as your EX is the bright spot in that relationship.

      I am amazed by OPs who claim they “support” their cheaters’ marriages, all the while fucking them up. On a related note, in my weekly rifle through the STBX’s pockets for evidence of high expenditures, I discovered a pen that OW gave him. I know it was from OW (his birthday was this past weekend) because it was a cheap pen from China with his name on it. OW always calls him by his full name, “Richard,” not “Dick.” The pen is to commemorate loyalty. The mind boggles.

    • “had always supported him to make our marriage work.” THIS!

      Was troll/OW’s vagina designated a usable platform? Otherwise, what type of “support” was that shameless ass whore talking about? If it had been designated a usable platform, too bad you were not well enough to take an opportunity to tap dance all over it! What the hell! I admire your restraint Sunshine because if anyone deserved to experience what an open can of whup ass felt like, it was that selfish, self-absorbed, clueless, she-bitch from Satan’s dog’s ass.

      I appreciate your “overshare” and take care of yourself and your children. You are well-rid of anyone who would treat you so abominably.

    • Thanks, you guys, for the support. Although most days I feel like I’m slowly working my way toward meh, this Rielle crap really got to me. So very much appreciate your comments and empathy. It’s amazing how healing a little love and compassion can be. And, for what it’s worth, my doctor tells me that the main reason my health is improving right now is because the toxicity of my abusive exH is no longer part of my life… Plus, of course, my kids’ love is a huge positive force 🙂

  • Thank you, Chumplady. I just read through several pages of comments on HuffPost and couldn’t believe my eyes. My reaction to Hunter’s “apology” is exactly the same as your reaction, and I thank you for explaining it so perfectly. Until you’ve been the recipient of such an “apology,” you can never comprehend that it could all be false. And self-serving. And a dozen other fucked-up things. It is so clearly a stunt to re-package and sell more books. She admits it right there! The idea came from her publisher! Mind-boggling.

  • Tracey, you did an excellent job of deconstructing the post.

    For me I didn’t have to read past the first bit: “I am very sorry for my wrong, selfish behavior. Back in 2006, I did not think about the scope of my actions, how my falling in love with John Edwards, and acting on that love, could hurt so many people.”

    That first line is the excuse, everything that comes after is just as full of bullshit.

    BTW, I’ve made two posts that aren’t swooning over her faux apology and another one calling them out on it. If they don’t make it past the moderators I will raise some hell with the HuffPost editors/operators. In fact I’ll go ahead and start now since so many of you say you tried and the comments never went up.

  • Opportunist whoreface! She is incredibly transparent. I don’t believe for one second that she has a modicum of remorse or even regret.

  • You know, I was a little older when I had my kids, and one thing I’m really grateful to myself for is that I never posed for a picture that could humiliate my kids sometime in the future.

    • It won’t take that picture to do any humiliation. All the daughter ( or her friends ) will have to do is Google her mother in 13-14 years.

      Of course, if the daughter learns from her mother, and ends up like her, she won’t be humiliated at all.

      • Yeah, who was I kidding? Does the book have pictures? It will probably be a coffee table centerpiece and bed time reading. The kid will grow up thinking that’s normal.

        Boy do I appreciate my own mother SOOOOO much.

  • Rielle Hunter is much like herpes and John Edwards must wince with embarrassment every time she resurfaces.

    It’s astounding that it takes years and two books for a narcissist ,who being prodded by her publisher, to reluctantly utter “infidelity is wrong”. Of course Rielle inserts the backlash she has suffered just because she was in “love” with a married man.

    Yeah…. that’s right it was all for love and buy my book so I can afford more stuffed animals and a pair of pants to go with my man shirt.

    • “…John Edwards must wince with embarrassment every time she resurfaces.”

      Finally! A reason to be happy when she’s back in the news again!

  • Perhaps if Riellle was really sorry she could have stated that she was donating all the profits from her book to cancer research. And the idiot who suggested that she pose with stuffed animals while half dressed should have to attend some sensitivity training. Rielle can drive, she’ll be going too.

  • Didn’t she spot him in a hotel lobby and walk over and tell him he was hot? They then retired to a room upstairs for a night of sex. Yep, it was love. What it was was a trashy woman and an egotistical guy getting it on while his wife fought cancer. Nice!

    • Yes! Unfortunately for her her, there’s a TON of info out there about what went on, the words ‘selfish’ and ‘sleaze’ come to mind. She’s got a big mouth, I feel so sorry for her poor little daughter- someone do an intervention and rescue her!
      One of the saddest things I ever read was Elizabeth, so sick with cancer, saying ‘I don’t want to die alone, without a man that loves me’.
      Don’t worry, you were better without him, and thousands of chumps understood and sent thier love. This is really making me hate HIM, he needed to try to be a better person, just for a little while, but he wouldn’t do it!

      • To destroy the peace of mind of a dying woman, to allow her to die “alone” without the love of her husband, to allow her to know her life and love was based upon a fraud, is the cruelest, vilest, and most nauseating thing I can imagine. May they rot in hell for all eternity. This woman (Rielle Hunter) is not sorry, she is celebrating.

        • But but…. you don’t understand! It was LURVE.

          That makes it ok!!!

          *rolls eyes*

        • Not to mention stealing from children’s security and happiness to fulfill your basest, most immediate urges. They both–and everyone like them–are despicable.

  • One thing to add: I’ve worked a lot with safe sex and AIDS-prevention programs involving prostitutes. One thing that is creepily common among the prostitutes is that most of them hang on tight to a little-girl naïveté as part of their self-identification. It often represents in the form of an obsession with little girl toys/ trinkets/ characters like Hello Kitty, cute puppies/ bunnies/ etc, and yes, stuffed animals. The way this picture is staged is SO reminiscent of the prostitutes that it is scary/ funny/ sick.

    • That’s an interesting observation. I wonder too if the little girl schtick isn’t also because that’s what their johns prefer? Ick. Ick. Ick.

      • I think that it often is related to having been abused or otherwise shattered at a young age. And, as thewatcher alluded to, below, these women would love to go back to the age before their innocence was destroyed.

    • She’s trying to control the narrative.

      Or really, in this attention whore’s case, she just wants the narrative to go on and on. Haven’t we all forgotten about her and Edwards already? Rielle wants to make sure we don’t. The 15 minutes of fame expired.

  • Jumping back in here. Ms. Hunter has said at one point that Mrs. Edwards was a screamer etc. Men tell really good lies to get in someone’s pants.
    I had a relative who told me that cancer patients yearn for their lives to go back to what they were the day before the diagnosis….to just be normal. Normal for her was being married to a politician….not my choice, but hers. Eliz Edwards was robbed of that life. She had to live out the rest of her days having no emotional life jacket because her husband had been exposed as the creep that he is. She had lost a son and then any hope. What kind of people do that to someone who is dying?

    • And frankly, even if your wife or husband or significant other IS a screamer (or you haven’t had sex in 20 years, or you have grown apart, or he/she doesn’t understand you, or you’ve fallen madly in love with your soulmate schmoope ….), and you haven’t been able to find a solution to that, that can be a very good reason to LEAVE. Like a grown up.

      Before you start the lying and sneaking around and betrayals.

      Hell bound trolls indeed, and Rielle is one of the worst – and Edwards worse still.

      • This. If you no longer want to honor the marriage vows–for whatever reason–then don’t stay married. It’s the 21st century, after all. Divorce isn’t shameful.

        Cheating is.

  • Haven’t read all the comments but yeah, i’m with you CL. What a lame-assed apology. The way I see it is this: I figure if Edwards still wanted to bone her she wouldn’t be issuing an apology. She also has a book to sell and realises that sleeping with a married guy whose wife was dying from cancer, then having a baby and naming a 3rd party as the baby daddy has left the chattering classes with a bad taste in their mouths.

    She just wants to try to rehabilitate her image and someone has finally drilled into her that being brazen isn’t winning her any awards.

    She’s gross. That’s all.

      • Y’all recommended it to me… but do you remember one of the studies mentioned in Lundy Bancrofts book… where the guys were asked if their childhood included abuse and ~65% said yes.

        When they were told they would be hooked up to a lie detector and asked again, the number dropped to ~30%.

        I had the most dysfunctional childhood known to man, but somehow I’ve managed not to fuck another woman’s man. Impressive, huh? lol

        • My childhood was your average fucked up family and nope, haven’t slept with another woman’s man yet. Or done anything else that has caused a lot of hurt and pain, other than that time I picked on a girl in 7th grade who really didn’t deserve to be picked on and I was just being a bitch and trying to impress people not worth impressing. I’ve grown since then.

  • I can see 9 pages of my friends comments… 100% negative.

    Clearly it was heavily moderated as it was big news in the press… at least here in NC. Apparently she was seen out and about in Chapel hill yesterday… “where she moved to be closer to Edwards to coparent their daughter.”

    She must have agreed to give Huffpo the exclusive in exchange for not allowing negative comments. Which adds further weight to the fact that she’s NOT SORRY!!!

    Perhaps it’s overly harsh but I have zero respect for all the well wishers commenting. But then maybe I’d have been the same before I was chumped and could see through that ridiculous BS.

    • Oh … and WRAL followed up the story with a local “PR expert” …. he basically said she was FOS too.

      I was very pleased by that 🙂

      • I doubt any sane person would be a “well wisher” to her. If you hadn’t been chumped, you probably just wouldn’t have paid much attention to this at all… maybe a fleeting thought of how pathetic she is.

        • Meh. I wish her well.

          I hope she grows a real conscience, for example. Nothing wrong with wishing her well.

          She seems to be plotting a different course, however.

  • I think this is a good example of a narcissist becoming vulnerable, because they are not reality based. She is not surrounded by people who give her good advice, and she is being exploited. She thinks she getting something she wants. She wants attention and money. But it is short sighted. She has done nothing to protect her child. Next up, playboy pictures, and then, of course, reality tv. Down the road, with a middle age squidge, possibly a health scare she has to handle alone (these people do not have dependable friends), and a “love” child that refuses to talk to you because you have no morals , you realize you really are sorry. Truth is, there is no amount of money that can buy your dignity back.

    • I’m not sure I’d even call it ‘sorry’ in the usual way. They have to live with the consequences of their behaviour, which they hate, but narcissists don’t actually regret the behaviour itself, much less the effects that behaviour had on others. They ‘regret’ it in the sense that, knowing now what the results FOR THEM would be, they would choose to do differently if they had a chance to go back.

      My ex is dealing with exactly that right now; for 14 years he didn’t care how his negativity and unpleasantness affected his kids. Then for a year and a half, he didn’t care how his cheating on me, lying to them and pretty much disappearing from their lives would affect them. Now he’s back in town, lonely, and VERY upset that the kids don’t want to have much to do with him. NOW his tears flow!!! NOW the relationship has to be repaired right away! When his kids were crying, when they felt abandoned, he wasn’t even thinking about them.

      • True NPD do not ever feel regret, remorse or understand how their own actions led to bad consequences. They are incapable of those emotions and thought patterns. For the NPD, everything bad that happens is someone else’s fault, and they are always the poor, misunderstood victim.

        If an NPD is “sad”, it is only for himself. If s/he says “sorry” or expresses regrets, it is to manipulate someone, or because though narcs do not feel remorse, they understand that normal people do, so they will pretend to feel remorse/regrets as part of their mask of sanity. They are also experts in using the pity play to gain narcissistic supply, and snare new victims.

        • Wow, all so true, too bad it took me 32 years to learn! The cying, OMG, just like a baby, when every single thing was put together by him, and I was begging him to stop! Unbelievable. All of it just wears me out, life doesn’t have to be this hard!

  • Can they be challenged on the censorship? Clearly the negative posts don’t violate their policy. They aren’t any worse than posts that have been made on other blogs.

    • I sent an email complaint to HuffPo, no answer – none of the 2 polite, yet negative posts I submitted went online. Perhaps more should file an email complaint, not sure it will do any good but worth a try. I saw 44 comments in moderation this morning, only 11 are in mod now and only a couple new comments are posted…so they trashed at least 40 comments

    • I tried to post something along the lines of them not allowing through any negative comments and asking what their take away was for doing that. It didn’t get approved.

      • I did that as well, but what I’m saying is to use the contact email to complain so it doesn’t just go to the moderators of the post.

  • Does anyone else find it sick and totally ass-backwards that she’s talking about how she doesn’t want to model infidelity for her daughter….who was concieved of INFIDELITY?!

    I sure as hell think that’s fucked up. Her affaird with Edwards resulted in this child to which she wants to model healthy marriage. Gag me with a spoon.

    This is another reason why her apology is bullshit. Not just because of the book deal, but because of THAT. Oh, Rielle, you are a child of infidelity? Guess what? So’s your kid. Your kid is more of a “child of infidelity” than you were, quite literally. Shove that up your ass.

    And the TITLE of that book “What Really Happened” the annotated anniversary edition! Available wherever sappy idiots and cheater-apologists waste their money on tripe!

    What really happened was John Edwards didn’t even wait until his wife was actually dead before picking up a newer model, and she’s a trashy whore. BRILLIANT! I should get a book deal I can milk for all it’s worth now.

  • There should be a study done of lame/weak apologies. CL has talked about this. There are certain apologies that just don’t ring truly regretful. The suggestion above that she donate the proceeds of the book to cancer research is a good example of a gesture that might show greater depth and sincerity.

    In any case, I think the book will flop.

  • So many of these there should be a Jeopardy category…

    “Can I have Mea Culpas for Profit for $200, Alex?”

  • The photo “portrait” of Rielle you pasted to this article. I remember seeing this when it came out. Seeing it now I realize how the photographer actually did capture both the situation and the character of Rielle here is a humorous almost mocking, and brilliant way.
    She is posed in what looks like a child’s room , possibly her daughter’s room, with these stuffed animals and/or juvenile cartoon characters, toys. Several of these characters are posed leaning in towards Rielle with their mouths wide open and their heads slanted backward or forwards like a crowd of characters mocking and laughing at Rielle. She poses on a bed with this provocative and falsely innocence look. She is what? 40 something ? and is made up all soft and wispy with pearls and posed in a innocent aloof and slightly confused way that would be reminiscent of a five year old’s portrait from the 1980’s Is she suppose to be like a child playing in her bedroom with her toys? Oh yeah except she is only half way dressed and poses in a provocative sort of way, well kinda. The lighting is soft and diffused. Her hair is slightly amiss and she looks like she just had a trice with John and is still so breathless from the whole event that she is slightly confused about it all, This is obviously an intentionally weird setting for a portrait of a person that just had an affair and a baby with a married want a be vice presidential candidate. Not to mention it is also not what you would say is a normal set up for an adult her age. ie for anyone over 18 really. The image actually captures the shallow, perverted, absent of integrity and full of indifferent confusion mentality and personality that Rielle demonstrates in her life choices and in her interview comments and responses. A narcissist demonstrating extraordinary amounts of shallowness and indifference. What a nice piece of work, the portrait that is.

  • OK….I have figured this whole thing out. Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton made sex tapes, got them on the Internet and got their own reality shows. See where I’m going with this? Books, reality show….oh the horror!!! Where will it end

  • I haven’t read all the comments here, but I wanted to write that I had an epiphany today listening to a couple of different radio shows mocking this marriage troll.

    Ms. What’shername is being ROUNDLY and harshly ridiculed, at least on the radio shows I listen to. I picked up the John and Ken show from L.A. today, for example, and they read her “Hey, everyone! I’m a victim!” letter with dramatic music playing in the background, peppered by bursts of righteous laughter and hilarity at her audacity. Everyone knows this woman is not just a whore-whore, she’s also an attention whore.

    Gosh, they pulled out the “homewrecker” word, and everything. They yelled, “Go away!” They castigated her, rightfully, for flipping SLEEPING WITH A CANCER-VICTIM’s HUSBAND!! For sleeping with a married father! GO AWAY!!

    Oh, how I wish xH and OW would have heard it! How uncomfortable!

    And it occurred to me–HEY! Maybe some good WILL come of Ms. What’sherbucket’s attention grab!

    If this bitch becomes the poster child for being a homewrecker troll, wouldn’t that be a good thing??

    I get so tired of the banal, “Oh, she’s done her time.” Or, “Oh, it takes two, you know.” Or, “Well, if he’s not happy, then….” You know the bullshit.

    What if people suddenly start associating clandestine affairs with this twit? What if people suddenly have a change of heart and think, “Wait, he’s sleeping with another woman? Really?” And what if we see a shift back to where being a homewrecking whore is not glamorous, not forgivable, not excused, nor accepted?

    That would be great!

    So, I say, What’syourname who did that one politician? You go, girl. Go on with your bad self! Get out there and make a name for yourself, hon!

    • “Oh, how I wish xH and OW would have heard it! ”

      Best to lay down that burden. In my limited experience, wanting to “teach” somebody who treated you badly a lesson (unstated: in how to treat people) is still holding on to wanting to exert some control, to try and “manage” their bad behavior. It’s not your job to teach them how to treat people or to manage their bad behavior. It never was your job. Now, you might have to clearly state and defend your own healthy boundaries with even more empathetic people, but they acknowledge your healthy boundaries out of empathy, not because you have “managed them”.

      • You are absolutely right.

        It’s just a fantasy–all delusion, the idea that they would be ashamed by anything anyone said, when they’re not even ashamed of their own behavior.

        I’m not yet at “meh.” I get closer every day.

  • I wouldn’t use Profumo as any kind of role model for post scandal behavior. He came from a very wealthy family and could afford not to work, ergo, could afford to do volunteer work for free.

    His son published his own story after the death of both his parents called “Bringing down the house.” It’s a good read, especially of you like that English public school tongue in cheek kind of humor.

    The son’s description of post scandal life consists of his parents renovating a farm house ; the son attending Eton (about £20,000 per year these days) and then when his father was ready to go back out into the public, he could still offer his services for free to his chosen charity.

    Good for him.

    I do agree that Rielle is scuzzy. but the book slinging for her is to pay the bills. After all, with a love child, she has a university education fund that she needs to stoke. What happened to Edwards after his court case? will he be able to contribute?

    Of course, she would not have these problems if she had not been scuzzy.

  • Wondering what a real apology would look like. What are the actions that would go with it? Can an OW or OM ever make up for it?

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