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Why I Can’t Care About Philandering French Presidents

francois-hollande-vise-dans-la-chansonI’m sorry. I know I should have an opinion about French president Francois Hollande’s philandering, but I don’t.

Maybe it’s because he’s French and we’re supposed to expect these things. The French being far more sophisticated than we are — according to a recent survey, they forgive infidelity more than any other nation. Maybe it’s because Hollande’s never married anyone. Maybe it’s because it’s hard to take a man seriously whose security detail for clandestine hook-ups transports itself via motor scooter. Seriously, does anyone — least of all a head of state — look dignified on a Vespa?

I’m sorry chumps, I love the timely, tasty infidelity tidbit, but my snark is just not firing up for this one.

Part of my problem is I don’t find Valerie Trierweiler very sympathetic as a chump. Apparently, she was the other woman in Hollande’s long-term relationship with the mother of his four children, Ségolène Royal. (Not a marriage, which they’re quoted as saying was too “bourgeois,”  but some French arrangement of domesticity and politics. He supported her run for president. On the down side, he cheated on her for years with Trierweiler.)

So forgive me if I don’t feel oodles of compassion for a former mistress who retreats to the Palace of Versailles to compose herself after the insult of Not Being All That Special. Yes, Valerie, if he’ll cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you. It’s humiliating? OMG, the affair with Julie Gayet had been going on for two years? You don’t say.

Hollande, a man who looks like a near-sighted, undercooked potato, has all the grandiosity God gave personality disorders. He’s told Trierweiler to “wait.” He needs some time to choose between women.

How French. “Let them eat cake.”

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  • I have to say I’ve quite relished this mess, especially since Trierweiler was the OW. And she’s in such SHOCK!! How could the man who cheated WITH her cheat ON her?? Poooooor sausage. Maybe she wasn’t all that special after all.

    Interesting that while the French have the lowest levels of disapproval of infidelity (per cent agreeing that it is ‘morally unacceptable’), it’s still over 50%. And despite the supposed ‘sophistication’ and ‘understanding’, it still leads to tons of divorces and heartbreak. Very messed up culture, relationship-wise.

    When I see guys like Hollande or DSK doing their ‘thing’, it just makes it even more clear to me that infidelity is about power, not about love or passion or ‘sophistication’ or any of those things cheaters claim.

    • I’ll tell you who fascinates me — Ségolène Royal. Now THERE is a tragic chump. She sued her own NPD father for not divorcing her mother and thereby avoiding child support and college costs for his many kids. Took years, but she won a settlement off him before he died of lung cancer. Then she goes and hooks up for 30 years (doesn’t marry, because that’s too bourgeois) with Hollande — another entitled asshole. A 30-year pick me dance. Oh hey, I’ll have 4 kids with you, but we’re above that commitment thing. Apparently, they didn’t even have civil union status. Eats the shit sandwich and declares it sophisticated. She gets credit for being selfless and letting him go and pursue his twu wuv with Treiweiller.

      That’s some fucked up shit.

      • Royal didn’t let Hollande go off with his tramp. She wised up and dumped him and told the world why. Politicians in her party gave her a hard time for possibly harming them by telling the truth.

        So they’re sexist, but they also think being a cheater can have some bad effect on your reputation.

        I’m afraid I’m in the camp that is pleased to see the OW get what she deserves and baffled that she is now surprised.

      • Actually, CL, Royal is an avowed feminist and was going with the idea that she didn’t need a man to support her, marry her, or somehow make her existence ‘legitimate’. I can get onboard with that, actually, considering her position, career and kick ass life overall. French feminists are a special breed.

        • I don’t think you have to eschew marriage as bourgeois to be a feminist. You can be married and not have a man support you or “legitimize” you. That’s a pretty lousy concept of marriage if you ask me.

          I think she’s a chump, who ate the shit sandwich of “partnership” — non commitment from a narcissist — and dressed it up as lefty sophistication. She’s absolutely entitled to be in a domestic partnership and expect monogamy — but I read Hollande also rejected civil union status — which to me says he does not want to make a public commitment to her. I think that says a lot about him and how much fidelity you can expect from this person.

          She had four kids with him anyway.

          She sued her father for not supporting his kids. Then she marries a man who won’t publicly commit to her.

          She can avow feminism all she wants to, I’m a feminist too, she’s still a chump in my book. I’m glad she dumped his cake eating ass — but it was a long-term affair. And what I read said that she did the whole, let’s be evolved friends, go follow your true love, I’m not it for you anymore. Points for not doing the “pick me.” Points subtracted for not realizing what a douche he is.

          • I think in France it is very common for couples to not marry but live as though they are and to have children together. I don’t know what Royal was thinking, but if her dad used marriage as a way to abandon his kids, I can see why she wouldn’t have any faith in marriage.

            What seems more important to me is that people can believe they have a commitment and monogamy without marrying and their pain is just as real if their partner betrays them.

    • I agree that I love this story because the OW got exactly what she deserved. No sympathy for her. She rubbed Hollande’s ex in things, was a prize asshole for years and really thought she was the shit for ‘getting her man’. Well, now she’s learned that old lesson ‘if he’ll cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you’. My friends in Paris are laughing their asses off over this. The entire country is, actually, because The Rottwieller is not well-liked and no one likes how she behaved when she ‘won’ over his longterm partner.

        • Oh, you just made me realise that all those people who say it won’t last, keep forgetting old Charles and Camilla. How long have they been together now? Still, it goes to show, for women who marry their AP, you just get stuck being married to a tampon!

    • Think you are right, KarenE. This trio should be inured to the betrayals. After all, live by the sword, die by the sword.
      It is striking though, how Hollande, along with the mother of his children, and the first OW, believed marriage to be too bourgeois. I don’t know who was on-board first (him, or them) with that thought but it seems to work out better for him since he repeatedly jumps ship first to follow his bliss. Apparently the relationship mind-meld that occurred during whatever they considered their courtship period, didn’t hold up any better than some traditional marriages. No surprise it’s that feeling of entitlement evident in a Disordered personality politician as common denominator.

  • My ex is European and in addition to the regular crap MLC cheaters dish out, he and OW were very puzzled as to why I was so upset as ‘everyone does it, so it’s no big thing’

    Picker was way off base on that one, rather thought he was intelligent and normal which is why I married him *sigh*

  • Indeed, if she is looking for sympathy, she can find it in the dictionary: between ‘shit’ and ‘syphilis’.

  • Hey There!!!

    Don’t get me going about the french. Touchy subject since X left me for a French Whore. They may be more understanding and accepting of infidelity but looks like when the shoe is on the other foot the sting is just as bad. Just shows that their moral integrity is compromised. Definitely someone not to be trusted. Poor OW. And they think they are so deserving as they won and are fucking your husbands. On top of that they had a part in turning your life upside down.
    Sanctimonious SOB”s.

    I, being the betrayed spouse, know in my soul, under no circumstance would I ever inflict the pain and anguish they inflict. I would never give up my morals or integrity for all infidelity rushes in the world. Just who is the better respectful person now?

    • Frannie – I am with you! I guess I will be in the bourgeois line with you! I have always kept my boundries with men while I was married and especially married men. Maybe I am just naive. However, I, too, will continue that even though I will be single very soon (even though when people ask me if I met anyone one yet and I say, no, all the men I know are married and they look at me and say SO….. ? I say, well, that would be very hypocritical of me, now, wouldn’t it be?)

  • “Hollande, a man who looks like a near-sighted, undercooked potato, has all the grandiosity God gave personality disorders.” Hahaha. I love this CL.

  • I guess too many of us “bourgeois” Americans still think about infidelity in “black and white” terms.

    Marriage is too “bourgeois”? So are these domestic partnerships typical of French Socialists? I’ve known a few Socialist/Anarchist types, and they still seemed to be OK with their commitment to marriage.

    • They’re typical among the empathy-challenged, avoidant, and highly-codependent of any political stripe, people tending to project their own short-comings into their political bent/world view and all.

    • In Europe it’s not about any political divide. People of all political stripes do not marry but instead live together. In quite a few European countries living together carries much of the same legal weight at marriage.

      • I’m in Quebec, and over half of couples living in ‘marital-type’ relationships are not married, including half of couples who have kids together. But people still take committment very seriously, and cheating is a big deal here as anywhere else. I’ve never heard anybody here say something like ‘well, they weren’t even married …’. As a matter of fact, you rarely know which couples are married and which are not! The general understanding is that you have a commitment to the person, and that honesty is an essential part of that commitment.

      • Do you think it has anything to do with the European political structure or form of government? When the Socialist State increasingly takes on the role of cradle to grave care, there is less need, in the minds of some, for any formal legal-contractual commitment. The government has your back, with childcare, healthcare, education, etc…. Since we seem to be going down that path in the US, I can’t help but feel it will become even more of a smorgasbord for the disordered personality types.

        • SeeTheLight, it’s not as if marriage vows or lack of support structures have EVER stopped the narcissistic cheaters! They probably just make things harder for the chumps.

    • You would have loved OW1 calling me when she found out about overlapping OW2. The outrage! The shock! How dare he?! I wish I had taped the conversation. She dumped him for doing this, although one could argue that she had already been dumped and was just extra cake. She only called me because she thought I was the source of the anonymous tip to her that he was cheating on her. The karma bus hits them, knocks them down, and then reverses and does it again.

          • Wait….why the f*#%k would she think you would be willing to HELP her, other than to help her plant her face into a brick wall. These cheaters and little friends are stupid in addition to being sick.

            • Oh, the outrageous entitlement and hypocrisy of the disordered!
              The more I really hear what the Fake Man says the more it terrifies and liberates me at the same time.

              • You can’t even make this stuff up. So crazy! I hear there is a new movie out on April 25th with Leslie Mann and Cameron Diaz. Cameron Diaz discovers her boyfriend has a wife and then they both discover the guy is cheating with a third person and all 3 women plot to get revenge. It’s called “The Other Woman.” So sorry this is not MY screenplay since the story closely mimics my own. Except my revenge was getting the divorce!

        • You can’t even make this stuff up. So crazy! I hear there is a new movie out on April 25th with Leslie Mann and Cameron Diaz. Cameron Diaz discovers her boyfriend has a wife and then they both discover the guy is cheating with a third person and all 3 women plot to get revenge. It’s called “The Other Woman.” So sorry this is not MY screenplay since the story closely mimics my own. Except my revenge was getting the divorce!

  • Reading ths and the comments had me laughing so hard, soda came out of my nose!!!

    And…….Mephista your name is well suited. : )

  • And the other, other, woman, Julie Gayet is married it seems.
    I wonder if her husband has a mistress.
    We need a scorecard.

    • I think the stat in Europe is that one in four adults have herpes. Quel surprise! U know someone who married a wee little Frenchman. This wee one spent years messing with her head about her weight (she didn’t have a weight problem) including commenting on every morsel of food she are or contemplated. Then he enjoyed feeling her up when out with her American friends, because you know, he’s all sensual and French. He dumped her, left her reeling. Who cares about French sophistication? Not me.

  • Trierweiler, the OW, is prostrate with grief because she was cheated on by a cheater. When a man (or woman) cheats on their spouse (or SO) and leaves them for you, the prize you have won is a person who is a liar and a cheat. People willing to cheat with cheaters would be well-served if they would learn that they are not special, just willing and available.

    My grandmother had a saying that if you laid down with dogs you would get up smelling like shit (she tended to create her own version of known sayings). Trierweiler was content to lay down with a dog (my apologies to fine dogs everywhere) and is now upset that she smells like shit. She might want to try a shower and some Febreeze and keep it moving. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

  • This doesn’t come close to a ripple in my world, hell I wouldn’t have been aware if you hadn’t posted it. Meh, and it doesn’t need to be Tuesday. Now if this jackoff contractor doesn’t finish my kitchen this week, you may read about a crazy ass woman nailing an asshole to her kitchen wall…just kidding, I don’t have nails big enough to do that ! 😉

    • Same here. For the life of me I still don’t understand why some women knowingly waste their time, youth on these guys. Surprise, surprise, he has another chick on the side.

    • Omg, they are all the same! I got the same line from my ex that he wanted me to wait, give him ” time and space” while HE decided who HE wanted. Not bloody likely! He was so angry that I got the ball rolling for divorce and of course I’m the bad guy and it’s all my fault. Poor sausage!

      • A few years back, my XH told me in September that he was giving himself until December to decide which one of us he wanted. He went to therapy and came home regaling me with stories about how she was his soulmate, but that the therapist thought he was acting like a schmuck. This was obviously the soundtrack for the “Pick-Me” dance. What I wanted never mattered because he assumed I would stay, waiting with open arms. It took me too long to listen to this entitled pig, but I finally decided what I wanted.

      • Heh…mine kept moaning about needing time and space to think as well. I said you can leave, called OW partner, told him what was going on and Ex went mental, telling me I had ruined everything.

        The best part? Now he’s stuck with final OW. Hahaha!

        • The nerve of you! Ruining his chance to choose between two women without any consequences or honesty! Do you think faithful people get to have choices in this?

          I also wonder if OW realized he was trying to decide who he liked best or if he was stringing her along and saying he wanted to leave but couldn’t.

  • CL, you had me laughing out loud with this one today. “Let them eat cake” is so true. I hope the mother of his 4 children laughed her ass off and was thankful she let them have each other. They definitely deserve each other.

    Mephista, you crack me up!

  • CL I love your attitude! You made me laugh this morning! “Let them eat cake!” I love it! It is so true! I am so glad there is someone like you fighting for what is right and what is the truth, and not going along with their delusions. 🙂 Hurrah for you!

  • I love the photo of Monsieur! It’s perfect! It looks like he is intentionally POSING for a CL cartoon!!!!!

    “near-sighted, undercooked potato”

  • I was taken aback by the stats – the acceptance of infidelity in different countries ( – the only thing I could think: it’s so easy to be accepting, until you happen to be on the receiving end.

    Here in The Netherlands (not in the graph by the way!), we do have more unmarried people living together in long term relationships. Less religious and social pressure probably. But what I see in those relationships makes no difference in day to day life from those of married people, they are not less bourgeois – they have children, jobs, chores, boredom. And cheaters.

    And I believe it wouldn’t hurt one bit less to be cheated on without a marriage license (most long-term couples, especially those with children, have similar contracts). It can actually be more difficult for chump-fathers, if they didn’t take care of paternity.

    The opinion that cheating on a spouse is a private thing, between spouses only, would they think that way if the cheating president was a shoplifter, child molester or secret Satan worshipper? It’s probably easy to romanticize cheating, as long as you keep it far away from home in ooo-lala-land. But don’t tell me that it doesn’t hurt an unsuspecting chump (not talking about ex-mistresses who got their shit sandwich just like they ordered it). It’s betrayal, it hurts. If it was accepted, both spouses would have agreed and there was no secrecy. That’s fine, so un-bourgeois, free spirits, woooweee!

    Please don’t generalize “European” values, just like there are many, many different views in the US. And remember, what people say in a poll and what they really live through can be the difference between cake and shit sandwich. I bet Trierweiler would not have responded to the poll the way she responded to the actual fact!

    • DC, fair point on not generalizing Europeans as being accepting of infidelity. A cheat is a cheat is a cheat. Most people don’t respect dishonesty, whatever their domestic arrangements.

      I’m wondering how the survey was worded. I see a lot of quotes on Hollande as saying the French don’t think it affects his business as president. There I probably agree. Many philanders display competency at their jobs. (Not saying Hollande does.) Some people hold their leaders to a higher standard, others do not. The reality is, if every philander left Washington D.C., there’d be scant few left to run the government.

      I totally agree with you that it’s easy to take the We’re Above Such Puritanical Judgements until it happens to you. Oh, then you feel the injustice quite keenly and the tune changes. Just look at Trierweiller! The hypocrite.

    • I agree Dutch chump. I live in Europe and believe me, many of the notions about cheating,sex, etc are very preconceived.

  • That French prime minister is fairly ugly. I hope his AP had the good sense to put a bag over the guy’s head beforehand.

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