I am seething! My charming husband of 20 years said he will not give up his long-term affair partner for me or our boys (15 and 12). We did counseling. I cried, tried to understand, asked that we rebuild our relationship. He lied and kept up the affair the whole time. Yup, all that.
It’s almost 2 years after D-day and I am finally dragging myself free. He doesn’t want to leave the house, but wants to stay together and ‘co-parent’. Sex would be great if I wanted to throw that in (NOOOO!!!!), but we could be platonic “if that is what I wanted.” (He did ask that I try not to be so sexy if I wasn’t going to sleep with him.) Ugh.
My younger son wants to keep the family together. I told him that was not his job. Next week is school vacation week. I suggested that husband take the boys skiing, and I will take them south for April vacation. He wants us to go together. He had the nerve to text me while he is waiting for a plane to go to Florida for a “conference”. I am working and taking care of the boys while he goes on yet another boondoggle (with OW or he’ll find someone there).
He forwarded a text from our son asking if we could all go skiing as a family when daddy gets back on Sunday. He tells me “not to do this to our son. Son is so fragile now.” I could just scream. Of course our son is fragile. He has watched our family disintegrate before his eyes. Even the dog has gotten skittish. Did you not think of the impact on our children when you decided to have an affair? Not just a drunken night in Vegas, but a full blown 5-year-go-on-vacations-together and signs their texts “life partner,” kind of affair?
I am supposed to play happy family with the man who lied and betrayed me? How do I help my sons through this?