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Chump-to-Chump Get Togethers, Anyone?

April 6, 2014 by Chump Lady

Hi guys,

If you haven’t been to the forums, a number of folks in Chump Nation have started chump meet-ups. If you’d like to join, please sign up and join the ranks. How it generally works is someone starts a group and gives the group an email, or yahoo group to join. And then you get in touch with each other about setting something up.

The chump groups I’m aware of right now are:

  • New York City hosted by Rebecca at chumpsNYC@gmail.com
  • Washington D.C. area, lead by Datdamnwuf, as a Yahoo group, more information here.
  • And I believe Rumblekitty is interested in starting one in Chicago. See her thread on the forum here.

If I’ve missed anyone, please post your info in a comment, so we can get the word out. If you’re unaware of the forum feature, it’s right here on the left sidebar under the search bar — says Log into Forums and then Chump Chat. You need to register to use the site. No biggie. (The links above will not work unless you are registered and logged into the forum.)

Once that’s done, and we have a pretty good idea of what’s what, I’ll make a sidebar box with all this info linked to a permanent page on the blog. Meet a Fellow Chump here! kinda thing.

If you want to remain anonymous, that’s totally cool. It’s one thing to spill your chump guts online among the comfort of strangers. It’s another to have an awkward coffee with someone who knows, that yes, OMG, your ex had a $20K hooker habit.

But I will say this, it is wonderful to meet people IRL who Get It. Who have been through the same shit and you don’t have to explain yourself, because they’ve lived it. And you can joke about it, or use your potty mouth, and no one is going to wonder why you’re not Over It. Chumps tend to be a pretty kind and wonderful bunch (narcs screen for that).

My lawyer husband reminds me to put forth a legal disclaimer that I am not sponsoring such meet-ups, just allowing my site to let you organize amongst yourselves. Please use the same sorts of cautions you would meeting any stranger online. I’m not responsible if one of you turns out to be an axe-wielding monster, or a cheater, or a rambling incoherent bore who only wants to drone on about soil science.

That said, if any of you would like to meet me, I’m going to be at a DC meet-up on Sunday afternoon, May 4. The details of which are being worked out at the yahoo group listed above. Will post more info there once we’ve agreed on a place. This is a chance for you to meet me and say “Gee, is that your real hair?” or “I notice you don’t proofread your articles as carefully as you should. I was distressed to read several dangling modifiers.” or “Where’s your husband?” (At home in Texas, kindly watching the teenager and the dogs while I visit a friend who’s about to be posted overseas.)

So Chumps of the World Unite! Tell me where you are and let’s make a new feature here on this blog. Thanks!

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Comments

  1. Still a Chump says

    April 6, 2014 at 8:31 am

    Links aren’t working…
    But great idea!

    • Elizabeth Lee says

      April 6, 2014 at 9:13 am

      The links work for me. Have you joined the forum?

    • Chump Lady says

      April 6, 2014 at 9:30 am

      You need to join the forum for the links to work. Directions how to do that are in the post. 🙂

      • Chrissybob says

        April 7, 2014 at 12:24 pm

        I’ve never figured the forums out – no link on the home page and I clicked on your forums link and it takes me to a Page Not Found page 🙁

        • Chump Lady says

          April 7, 2014 at 12:30 pm

          There ***is**** a link, it’s under the search bar on the right hand sidebar. It says in red ‘Log into forums”

          You’re going to get a bad link if you don’t sign in. As I stated before.

  2. ForgeOn! says

    April 6, 2014 at 9:17 am

    “………or a rambling incoherent bore who only wants to drone on about soil science.”

    Hey, CL, that is WAAAAYYYYY better than a sleazy, skank whore who drones on about their latest married-person conquest!! And I do not think you could ever be a bore! Silly you!!

    Besides, I do believe a great many of us Chumps really are into the truly important stuff like soil science and composting and compassion and love and empathy and caring for our ‘nest’ (planet earth) and recycling and so on and so on…….Life will cease (LITERALLY!)without attention to these more important things!!!

    Forge on, ‘Soil Lady’, ForgeOn!

    PS: CL, so glad you will be in DC for meet-up! I lived near DC for most of my school years (many field trips to points of interest there—–awesome!)……I would love to attend, but too far for me. I do hope I can meet up with you in TX sometime. I have family in TX & I hope to be there in middle or late June. This new feature you are working on is so apropo. Thanks for doing it!

    • Chump in the Sand says

      April 6, 2014 at 9:44 am

      Ummmm, I was going to say….isn’t Chumplady one of those people who drones on about soil science…?

      • Chump Lady says

        April 6, 2014 at 9:47 am

        Yes, but i can control myself.

        • Chump in the Sand says

          April 6, 2014 at 10:44 am

          A likely story…;-)

          ForgeOn, wish you were Canadian….

          • Patsy says

            April 6, 2014 at 12:02 pm

            Oh boy, not only is there a chump nation here, but other secret soil obsessives! I was definitely a dung beetle in my previous life.

            • Chump in the Sand says

              April 6, 2014 at 12:26 pm

              I have farmers as ancestors…

            • Lynn says

              April 7, 2014 at 10:42 pm

              Dung Beetle! – that sounds South African/Zimbabwean! Haven’t thought of a dung beetle in quite a while!
              Oh, the smell of the African soil………

  3. Edie says

    April 6, 2014 at 9:44 am

    Just signed up. What the hell, right?
    Looks like the forum isn’t active…most things are a year old.

    I joined a FB group and had to quit it. Found my posts were being shared w/ all of my friends. FUN!
    Yes, I tried adjusting my privacy settings. Nothing changed for that one page.
    Oh well.

    Damn I wish I wasn’t a chump… 🙂

    • Chump Lady says

      April 6, 2014 at 9:51 am

      Hey Edie, try this http://chumplady.com/forums/forum/chump-chat-forum/general/

      The WP forum feature is pretty limited, but it’s better than nothing. After i finish this book, I’ll look into improving the forum, finding a programmer or something. But anyway, all to assure you it IS active.

      If you go back to the ROOT directory http://chumplady.com/forums/forum/chump-chat-forum/ — you will see people posted at that place, and it’s not really seen. (A design feature that is baffling to me.) You need to choose GENERAL, (or music, or recommended books/support sites). In those “rooms” is where the chat is happening.

      Hope that helps.

  4. Lily Bart says

    April 6, 2014 at 9:45 am

    I would be up for a Boston-area meet-up if anyone is game. 🙂

    • Edie says

      April 6, 2014 at 9:50 am

      I’m in RI, Lily

      • LilyBart says

        April 6, 2014 at 10:22 am

        🙂

        • namedforvera says

          April 6, 2014 at 10:30 am

          Hi ladies: I posted a convo in the General section. I’m in the NW suburbs of Boston, but closer to RI is doable, too.

          • bostonirisher says

            April 6, 2014 at 12:58 pm

            I am in Boston, obviously!

            • Jim says

              April 6, 2014 at 3:36 pm

              Outside of 495, near RI

              • LilyBart says

                April 6, 2014 at 5:09 pm

                bostonirisher and Jim:

                There’s a thread in the forums about a Boston/RI-area meetup. Check it out!

      • Admit1 says

        April 7, 2014 at 9:57 am

        Another Rhode Islander here. I would be interested in a meet-up.

        • LilyBart says

          April 7, 2014 at 11:29 am

          Admit1:

          Check out the Boston-area thread in the General Forums!

        • Wastedheart says

          April 10, 2014 at 5:44 am

          Me too!

    • Lilac says

      April 7, 2014 at 11:16 am

      I am in Boston!

      • LilyBart says

        April 7, 2014 at 11:29 am

        Lilac:

        Check out the metro-Boston thread in the General Forums!

  5. Uniquelyme says

    April 6, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Lily Bart, I’m game too for a Boston-area meet up. Datdumwuf set up an East Coast Chumps group. I just signed up. This is fun!

    • LilyBart says

      April 6, 2014 at 10:20 am

      Is Datdumwuf’s group in D.C.? That’s a bit further than I could make, I think, though I’ve always wanted to visit. 🙂

      • Uniquelyme says

        April 6, 2014 at 10:38 am

        I actually signed up because ogfbthe potential May 4 meet-up that Tracy mentioned. I am NOT close at all to DC and only an hour from Boston.

        • Uniquelyme says

          April 6, 2014 at 10:39 am

          And I can’t spell. The gibberish was supposed to be of the.

          • kb says

            April 7, 2014 at 8:19 am

            And it must be a byproduct of working with smartphones, but I actually understood your typo! 😀

  6. Nadine says

    April 6, 2014 at 9:53 am

    Oh to be in DC in May, to meet incredible people and get the chance to thank you Tracy, in person…the most life changing blogger out there!! I so wish I could head to the Capitol to get acquainted with the REAL movers & shakers…Chumps rock! Hoping you’ll memorialize the moment with a cartoon!!!

    Maybe someday you’ll be in NorCal, say wine country-ish?? There HAS to be a bunch of us Chumps in the greater San Francisco Bay Area.

    • Chump in the Sand says

      April 6, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      I wish too…but I have a May the Fourth Be With You party planned that day….

    • oroydes says

      April 6, 2014 at 2:50 pm

      I’m in the Bay

      • PattyToo says

        April 6, 2014 at 3:26 pm

        Aren’t you wet? Yuk
        I’m in the East Bay area, I’d LOVE to go out with some chumps!

  7. Free2b1 says

    April 6, 2014 at 10:27 am

    I like this idea! What about meeting in So Cal?? Anybody interested?

    • Sara says

      April 6, 2014 at 11:10 am

      I am Free2b.

      • zyx321 says

        April 6, 2014 at 11:13 am

        Me, three 😉

        • Really says

          April 6, 2014 at 3:37 pm

          Count me in for a SoCal meetup!

    • ChumpedTwice says

      April 6, 2014 at 3:56 pm

      I’m in SoCal.

      • Drew says

        April 6, 2014 at 4:30 pm

        San Diego :). Would love to meet up with fellow SoCal Chumps,

        • sara says

          April 6, 2014 at 5:56 pm

          Yay Drew! Let’s do! Free 2 Be started the forum thread.

      • sara says

        April 6, 2014 at 5:15 pm

        Still Chump, Really, Amelia and zyx–if you sign in with your name and password, press the highlighted link to “forums” at the top of CL’s post today you will find Free To Be’s So Cal thread.

        • free2b1 says

          April 7, 2014 at 3:02 pm

          Hi So Cal, I posted a contact email in the General Forum section. Check it out!!

    • RNE is going though the big D and I don't mean Dallas says

      April 6, 2014 at 9:58 pm

      I’m in SoCal and would def be up for a meeting!

    • Another Rebecca says

      April 7, 2014 at 1:23 am

      Me too! Los Angeles (where, after 13 years, I’m still very aware that I’m a New England native!).

    • YLg says

      April 8, 2014 at 12:32 am

      I’m in the LAX (Los Angeles International Airport area). I want to get together with fellow chumps!

    • quicksilver says

      April 8, 2014 at 1:07 pm

      I am in socal, and I’d love to meet up. I will check out the forum thread, since I am so late to this conversation.

  8. danabern7 says

    April 6, 2014 at 10:33 am

    I like this idea too. I live in SE Idaho. No one lives here I’m sure except me.

    • Flowerlady says

      April 6, 2014 at 10:44 am

      I live in Salt Lake. We’re pretty close! Anybody else in Northern Utah or SE Idaho?

      • Danabern7 says

        April 6, 2014 at 4:41 pm

        Salt Lake City is about 2 1/2 hrs. away. Much closer than those places in the east. To fly out of Pocatello,idaho the connections are Salt lake or Boise so I get there once in a while. If we get enough people we can find a meeting place. Thanks for responding.

    • Gio says

      April 6, 2014 at 3:13 pm

      I live in North Idaho danabern7….and I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who lives here. haha

      • Danabern7 says

        April 6, 2014 at 4:50 pm

        Gio. Thanks for your answer. I’ve Been to Coeure d’Alene and Sand Pointe. Very beautiful country. Maybe if we keep posting we’ll find some other chumps hidden in the mountains.

        • Giovanna says

          April 6, 2014 at 4:57 pm

          I live in Coeur d’ Alene. It’s beautiful here!~ I grew up in Sandpoint.

  9. donwit says

    April 6, 2014 at 10:47 am

    We have a Calgary, Alberta Chump Group – if you are in the area you can email us at – yycchumps@gmail.com.

    • Chump in the Sand says

      April 6, 2014 at 10:56 am

      Somebody new started a thread for Calgary on the forum–you may wish to post the link in there too.

      • donwit says

        April 7, 2014 at 9:32 am

        Thanks – done 🙂

  10. Sara says

    April 6, 2014 at 11:08 am

    Anyone in Southern California?

    • Free2b1 says

      April 6, 2014 at 11:51 am

      Hi Sara, Free2b here. Are you on the forum ?

      • Sara says

        April 6, 2014 at 4:03 pm

        I guess not? Do we set a link up? I’d like to keep it as online private as possible but I love the idea.

    • Amelia says

      April 6, 2014 at 2:38 pm

      Los Angeles

      • Sara says

        April 6, 2014 at 4:04 pm

        Awesome Amelia!

        • sara says

          April 6, 2014 at 5:18 pm

          trying to set this so I see replies

  11. FoolMeTwice says

    April 6, 2014 at 11:46 am

    Gee, I didn’t even know there were forums! I’m so glad. Anybody in the Pacific Northwest? I’m in Vancouver, BC.

    • ForgeOn! says

      April 6, 2014 at 2:41 pm

      Dear F.M.T,

      No, do not live near you, but I would love to visit there again!

      Used to visit family that lived in Kitsap County WA. I was a child & teen for those visits and we went camping, biking, to Mt Rainier & so on & so on. Also visited Vancouver when I was a child. Do not remember much, but just enough to know I would love to go again! (Was really amazing I was actually able to visit those places, as where we lived when I was growing up was clear across the country, near D.C.!)

      I love the amazing beauty of the Pacific Northwest!

      I actually traveled with my family (parents & brothers) quite a bit in the US (never made it overseas) until I married chearterpants. As is so common with NPD, they slowly isolate you, never want to take you anywhere and they take so much energy out of you, you do not have the strength to make travel plans of your own.

      Anyway………am rambling on……

      Hope you find some local Chumps to have a meet-up, FMT…….

      Forge on, Precious Ones……

    • Gio says

      April 6, 2014 at 3:14 pm

      FoolMeTwice….I live in the PNW.

      • FoolMeTwice says

        April 6, 2014 at 3:27 pm

        Hey, Gio! I’d be totally willing to head down your way if you were up for meeting? Seattle, Bellingham, whatever.

        Chump Lady, is there a way to share our email or contact information privately?

        • Chump Lady says

          April 6, 2014 at 3:30 pm

          I’d say do it on the forums, or in the safety of a Yahoo group. Or create an email address (that forwards to your regular address) just for chump meet ups.

          If you post it here as a comment, you run the risk of getting email from spambots or anyone else you might not want to get email from.

          • FoolMeTwice says

            April 6, 2014 at 7:31 pm

            Thanks for the heads-up, CL, and thanks ForgeOn! for your wonderful comments. It *is* an amazing part of the planet–I’m originally from Detroit, but been here for 15 years. If anybody is in the vicinity, I’d be really grateful to connect IRL. Any other Seattle/Bellingham/Victoria chumps who want to see if we can get a group going?

    • Dani says

      April 7, 2014 at 12:40 pm

      Seattle Chump here! I’m game for a gathering!

    • Lynn says

      April 7, 2014 at 3:50 pm

      I am in Victoria, BC. I will be going to Vancouver about once a month from now on, so would love to get together for coffee or a glass of wine.

      • Lynn says

        April 7, 2014 at 3:56 pm

        Yes, that’s great!!!! I would be happy to be involved in starting up a group on Vancouver Island or in Vancouver.
        Also more than willing to travel to Seattle – never been on the Clipper to Seattle – would be a lovely get-away to meet up with fellow-chumps.

        • FoolMeTwice says

          April 7, 2014 at 4:30 pm

          Hi Dani and Lynn,

          That’s great! Later tonight I’ll see if I can put up a feeder email on the forums, and then we can start connecting. Lynn, next time you’re in Vancouver, I’d love to meet you for a glass of wine. Maybe we can also figure out how to get a group going. I agree, getting away to Seattle would be great, and I’ve never taken the train down either. It would be really fun!

          • Lynn says

            April 7, 2014 at 9:40 pm

            FMT – Yay!!! Let’s do it. Wine is lovely……..
            Dani – This is totally do-able ! I am so excited!
            I have just created a gmail account.
            I will post it on the forum – contact me there. I will check on the forum for your feeder e-mail if I don’t get to mine in time.
            Thanks CL – this is great!

            • Lynn says

              April 7, 2014 at 11:35 pm

              Please note the first gmail address I posted was incorrect.
              I reposted the correct address. I think.
              Sigh…….

              • Sara says

                April 8, 2014 at 10:09 am

                Lynn, I can’t get to the forum from my phone so I’m going to answer you here: I almost wrote last night that I keep thinking I’m going to walk in the room trailing toilet paper from my shoe or something. What a brilliant idea to imagine him (I should say remember him) at his most bloated alcoholic self, belching and farting his way past me. And I’ll give him some rosacea cause when he drank a lot–pretty much always-his face got blotchy and he was obsessed with his own reflection. And I’ll add toilet paper and boogers. God, what if he looks good. The fucker looks good, like Dorian Gray I swear. Somewhere a portrait of him is rotting and aging. Thank you Lynn!!

  12. Datdamwuf says

    April 6, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    Thanks for posting CL! The yahoo East Coast Chumps group was meant for those of us in the DC/VA/MD area, I just got carried away when I named it :). That said, anyone is welcome to join if you want a more private place to organize meetups in other east coast locations. I have to approve membership, bear with me if I don’t see your request right away. And my disclaimer, that membership approval is not based on a background check, I do not know who anyone is IRL yet.

    • Chump Lady says

      April 6, 2014 at 3:30 pm

      Thanks for setting that up Dat! 🙂

  13. Nat says

    April 6, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    Thanks for the info, Chump Lady.

    How many FL chumps follow CL? I’m in Orlando….

    • Nocake4u says

      April 6, 2014 at 10:20 pm

      Hi Nat, I’m in Orlando too. Was reading through this thread hoping there were others. Let’s see if we can get a group going. This sounds like a great idea!

  14. robineastchump says

    April 6, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    This is wonderful! Thanks for everyone organizing these groups!

  15. Andrea says

    April 6, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    Denver. Anyone else nearby?

  16. Rebecca says

    April 6, 2014 at 8:26 pm

    Thank you for posting the gmail address I set-up just for this purpose – chumpsNYC@gmail.com. It is a safe place for help.
    Chumplady – what we REALLY need is a Texas weekend when anyone can fly, drive or crawl in. Just a clean motel/hotel where chumps can make their own reservations and arrangements.
    Perhaps a big Chump picnic or BBQ?
    Chump Nation 1st Annual Convention?
    I think it’s time.

  17. Almost there says

    April 6, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    Obviously, the first Chump Convention should be in New Orleans. Anyone game?

    • RNE is going though the big D and I don't mean Dallas says

      April 6, 2014 at 10:01 pm

      YES! I’m down for a NOLA Chump convention!

    • Elizabeth Lee says

      April 7, 2014 at 12:41 am

      I’m in! I <3 NOLA!

    • Lynn says

      April 7, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      It most definitely should obviously be in New Orleans!

  18. Lyn says

    April 6, 2014 at 9:26 pm

    Gosh, I’d love to meet up in DC but just can’t afford to. Maybe we could Skype?

  19. river says

    April 6, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    Are there no Midwestern chumps?

    • kb says

      April 7, 2014 at 8:21 am

      I’m a Midwestern chump.

      • Hoodwinked says

        April 7, 2014 at 8:33 am

        Midwestern too

        • jazzvox says

          April 7, 2014 at 9:47 am

          Midwestern as in Chicago or Minneapolis? I’m in the Twin Cities area.

    • river says

      April 7, 2014 at 10:29 am

      I’m in western WI, about 2 hrs from Mpls…

      • Hoodwinked says

        April 7, 2014 at 12:50 pm

        South central WI

        • river says

          April 7, 2014 at 3:56 pm

          I just moved here from Madison in February.

          • Hoodwinked says

            April 7, 2014 at 4:27 pm

            Wow, I’m in Madison. Did you move because of the breakup?

            • river says

              April 7, 2014 at 7:15 pm

              Sort of. I had to leave our marital home in Madison to escape my drunk, scary XH. After I spent a month with my parents, I moved out to an apartment west of Madison because that is the only place that was cheap enough, and allowed my two big dogs. Then I got my nursing degree, and had to move away to get my dream job. The job is fantastic, but I am a bit lonely out here.

              Wow, Madison. If you are a part of a certain Madison-ish community, you may know my XH. It is his explicit goal to become a local celebrity!

              • Hoodwinked says

                April 7, 2014 at 8:12 pm

                I suppose if his goal is celebrity he’s giving off the sparkly vibes us chumps are learning to recognize 🙂 Wonder if I know of him. I lead a pretty quiet life with my daughter, near east side. Western WI is so beautiful, love that area. Hope it won’t be long before you feel more at home.

              • river says

                April 7, 2014 at 8:20 pm

                Hoodwinked, Near east side is the scene I am speaking of. He is king of the co-op! Green, sustainable, and all of that. Be on the look out for a once-handsome 40-something guy with a beard and expensive technical outerwear. Wait, that is everyone on that side of town! Tee hee ;o) I guarantee that you and I have people in common. My best girlfriend lived on Jenifer, until she moved to LA. XH and I were on the other side of Lake Monona.

                (Maybe I am sharing too many details…?)

        • no more free cake says

          April 7, 2014 at 7:23 pm

          I’m in South Eastern WI

          • river says

            April 7, 2014 at 7:27 pm

            Hi NMFC! I had no idea there were so many Dairylanders in Chump Nation!

            • Hoodwinked says

              April 7, 2014 at 8:57 pm

              “a once-handsome 40-something guy with a beard and expensive technical outerwear. Wait, that is everyone on that side of town!” LOL

              Interesting, river. I think people can talk more privately on the forums too. I registered earlier today. I have a lot of years on you and your x (if you are similarly aged) but I’m sure we would have common focal points of life in Madtown.

              • river says

                April 7, 2014 at 9:10 pm

                I tried to earlier, but it didn’t want to let me in . I’ll try again.

    • liningupducks says

      April 8, 2014 at 8:06 am

      Michigan chump here

      • Kathy says

        April 16, 2014 at 8:35 am

        I’m in michigan

  20. Current chump says

    April 6, 2014 at 11:18 pm

    Anyone chumps in Southern California?

    • ForgeOn! says

      April 7, 2014 at 8:05 am

      river,

      I am in the Midwest—–KC Metro area. And I can assure you, there are plenty of us Chumps here! Just not all are part of ChumpNation. (Silly them!)

      Am hoping to have time later to log on to the forums & see what the prospects are of a Midwest meet up.
      Have not done so yet.

      Forge on, river……..

      • whodathunk says

        April 7, 2014 at 8:27 am

        Also in KC metro!

      • violet says

        April 7, 2014 at 8:28 am

        I’m in Lawrence!

        • ForgeOn! says

          April 7, 2014 at 8:36 am

          Oh, My! How awesome!

          I will get to the forums as soon as I get a chance & let’s see what we can line up!

          Later…….

          Forge on!!!!

        • Lola12 says

          April 10, 2014 at 10:47 pm

          I am in the Overland Park area and would very much appreciate meeting others who have been through a similar experience!

          • ForgeOn says

            April 11, 2014 at 8:33 am

            Hey Lola12 & other KC Area chumps! So far, it looks like four of us wish to meet.

            Is a busy time for me right now, but would love to meet all of you at some point!

            The forums are where the meet-up groups are making arrangements.
            Honestly, making ‘arrangements’ of any sort has never been my strong suit! If any of you other KC area chumps are good in that area, you would be more likely to get something up on the forum sooner than I am!

            Let’s just keep working at it…….

            Will check in later……..

            Forge on!…….

  21. Current chump says

    April 6, 2014 at 11:22 pm

    I can’t get into the forum link but I saw that Sara, Arne a few others are in SoCal. Glad that I’m not alone!!!!!! I’ll keep trying to access the forum

    • Sara says

      April 6, 2014 at 11:52 pm

      Current Chump–all you have to do is sign in with your name and password; if you’re not a member yet just pick a password and come on board. If you go to CL’s home page you’ll see a forum link—we’re waiting for you!

    • Sara says

      April 6, 2014 at 11:59 pm

      I think I mis-directed you– I think you have to start step one by joining the forum itself, the rest will (?) be easy. If I got there you can too, trust me.

  22. Miss Sunshine says

    April 6, 2014 at 11:22 pm

    Saw this tonight. Thought I’d share. Just for you, my chumps:

    https://scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/t1.0-9/998143_395092843961578_137019278_n.jpg

    • Sara says

      April 6, 2014 at 11:56 pm

      Why, little Miss Sunshine 😉
      I like your style.

    • ForgeOn! says

      April 7, 2014 at 8:13 am

      Thanks, Miss Sunshine!

      Great kick-off to the Monday morning rat race!!!

      Forge on, Awesome Ones…….

  23. Current chump says

    April 7, 2014 at 12:54 am

    Thanks miss sunshine-I needed that tonight. Angry turd was out in force & I’ve been pretty upset

  24. Sweetsunny says

    April 7, 2014 at 1:35 am

    I’m way far off in Hawaii, any chumps looking for a vacation? 😉

    • ANC says

      April 7, 2014 at 7:09 am

      What island? I have a long shot of getting to Maui next Spring.

      • sweetsunny says

        April 7, 2014 at 2:12 pm

        I’m on Oahu.

  25. Bellzero says

    April 7, 2014 at 5:40 am

    Hey everyone don’t forget us Aussies all the way down under. Damn too much sea between me and all of you guys.
    CL maybe you could do a conference on chumpies down under in Australia. Lol like Oprah! Maybe select 250 of your most chumpiest chumps and fly them free and share with us Aussies.
    Bellzero

  26. Justanotherchump says

    April 7, 2014 at 7:23 am

    Fellow Cincinnati chump here! Wondering if any other fellow chumps are in this area??

  27. LiningUpDucks says

    April 7, 2014 at 8:12 am

    Sounds like a great idea to me. Between working full time and with three kids under 4, it’s a small victory when I get to go the grocery store by myself! lol I’m with you all in spirit.

  28. heartbroken says

    April 7, 2014 at 9:22 am

    Anyone in the Philadelphia area???!

  29. sara says

    April 7, 2014 at 7:47 pm

    DESPERATELY SEEKING MEH!
    Hi chumps, I have to see the soon ex in a small, hideously fleurescent lit room with both of our lawyers on Thursday. I keep thinking about success being the best revenge, then obsessing over how bad I look and feel. This was his specialty; I never felt attractive enough even when I looked okay and felt much healthier. He didn’t even try to be discreet about visually raping every hot young thing that walked by us. The guy is trying to ruin my life, legally, financially, morally, emotionally, all of those ways. It’s like the only shred I have to hang onto; maybe if I appear attractive to him (wtf?!)–even though he hates me– he would be attracted, and not even have to equate it with me. Like a dog. But I’d have some kind of…mojo. I am physically sick, I’m not supposed to look stupendous but my anxiety is amping this up. I can’t get to the market, let alone get a manicure or go clothes shopping by Thursday. I would love to be at ‘meh.’ Does anyone have any ideas, any words, anything at all that might help even the slightest bit getting a person to ‘meh?’ I long for meh. I want my meh meh.

    • Hoodwinked says

      April 7, 2014 at 8:36 pm

      just had to reply even if wrong spot for this; you didn’t feel attractive enough because he made you play the pick-me dance by his behavior, so try to stop caring about what the asshole thinks about how you look. It doesn’t matter right now. Right now think about you and how you and your lawyer can get the best for you that you can on Thursday. Meh will not be possible yet. It will come later. Right now you are in the fight, so fight hard and good luck! keep your focus on you. And so what if he sees you not your best at this time. he’s put you through hell so let it show.

      • Sara says

        April 7, 2014 at 10:12 pm

        Thanks HW, I know it sounds ludicrous. I’m thinking, What now? He (fill in the blank) and I want a manicure? My nails are cracked and split and ripping into everything I touch, it’s more that I want to feel good about myself. I don’t really give a crap about nail polish, I’ve just “let myself go.” To an extreme. And he’s just had to sit on his ass (and his money.) But I do still –for some really pointless reason-care about what he thinks of me. If I follow that train of thought it is maddening. Do you think he’s given one ounce of thought into how he looks to me? He did put me through hell, why not let it show. I have no choice!

        • Hoodwinked says

          April 8, 2014 at 8:42 am

          “for some really pointless reason-care about what he thinks of me”
          totally understandable, found myself doing the same and feel it never works out that I look my best when I do have to see him. Makes sense now that I think of it since I’m not feeling my best if I have to see him. As time goes by I’m finding I don’t really care much. There’s no way I want him back. If or when there is someone new someday it will feel nice again to present myself as attractively as possible and I’ll be so much better at seeing if someone likes the real me. (Sorry, didn’t put two and two together that you are also dealing with illness when I first replied, makes everything so much harder.) I too was with someone who couldn’t seem to not obviously stare at women. I could’t understand how he could keep being so obvious about it knowing that it bothered me, let alone making me feel like I wasn’t who he really wanted. Well I do understand now-these are not normal empathic people.

          • Sara says

            April 8, 2014 at 10:19 am

            Thank you HW. You reminded me of another trick: Even though I know I could never ever in my life be with this guy again, it feels momentarily comforting to posit that “maybe sometime in the future” it will be the right time. It’s not exactly a delusion, but gets me out of the craziness of feeling so abandoned and…hoodwinked. There is something so awful about that gawking. If he’d have said *with me, “wow, what a beautiful woman,” or not swiveled his head off each time it might not have been as bad. But denying it was crazy making and humiliating, gaslighting misery. Thank you so much!

            • Hoodwinked says

              April 8, 2014 at 1:42 pm

              {{Hug}} and again give ’em hell on Thursday!

    • river says

      April 7, 2014 at 9:00 pm

      Sara, I remember being in the place you are (sans cancer). I wanted to look so gorgeous at our divorce hearing. But as fate would have it, I had to leave immediately after it for class – a nursing school public health clinical. For my hearing, I was wearing my school’s public uniform, a cheap red polo shirt and poorly-fitting khaki pants from Goodwill. I looked like a middle school gym teacher who has given up on herself. Regardless, my XH cried, wanted to hug me and go for coffee with me. The point is, these people are not really seeing YOU. They see what they want to see. Even if you were looking your very best, your xH’s perception is totally clouded by his current mood and agenda.

      I am so sorry that you are going through the worst of this right now. I would not expect meh at this time. You are in the thick of it. Your instinct to take care of yourself is right on, but Thursday is just a tiny blip on the whole picture. You are a beautiful person. His perception of you no longer matters. He is corrupt. Please take care of yourself like you would any precious thing that needs care. Your beauty will shine through for all who admire strength and authentic humanity in the face of this crisis.

      I’ll be thinking of you this week.

      • FoolMeTwice says

        April 7, 2014 at 9:12 pm

        river, that was absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. Your last sentence almost made me cry.

        Sara, I’ll be thinking of you, too. You can do this.

        • river says

          April 7, 2014 at 9:47 pm

          :o)

        • Sara says

          April 7, 2014 at 10:14 pm

          Thank you, FMT- it means a lot.

      • Sara says

        April 7, 2014 at 10:01 pm

        River you made me cry. I’m going to take your post with me Thursday and read it while I pretend to be busy. I feel exactly like you describe, cancer or no cancer. As soon as I wrote it, I realized you can’t force “meh.” I’m just going to have to be who I am right now and try to make it through, breathing. Thank you so much for your beautiful words. I wish you were in So Cal (or that I was not.) {{{river}}}

  30. sara says

    April 7, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    I think I posted this in the wrong place. I will try to figure out where it should go…?

  31. heartbroken says

    April 12, 2014 at 3:45 pm

    Anyone in the PA/NJ/NY area: feel free to join our FB group (it’s a closed group, don’t worry, will make it secret soon.)
    Follow this link to send request: https://www.facebook.com/groups/chump.nation/

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