Many alert chumps have sent me the news articles about U.S. congressman Vance McAllister (R-La.), and married father of five, caught on surveillance video passionately kissing a staffer.
It’s almost so ho-hum, I hesitated to write about it. Yet another Bible-thumping politician running on “family values” getting caught canoodling with someone who isn’t his long-suffering spouse. He’s not terribly original. No cabana boys or public restroom blow jobs. His affair partner is a “self-described cosmetologist” or rather was until she donated money to him and became his “scheduling assistant.”
Also yesterday, megachurch pastor Bob Coy resigned his gazillion dollar ministry Calvary Chapel (with 20,000 members) because of “moral failing.”
What’s Reverend Bob going to do with his newfound free time? “He will now focus his full attention on his personal relationship with God and his family.”
Yeah, something tells me those relationships have been neglected for awhile…
Now I know folks are going to bring up the failings of cheaters on the left, odious narcissists as well, undoubtably. But there is something unique about the Jesus cheaters, who not only use religion and “family values” as short-hand for “I’m an honorable person, elect me!”, but then use their religiosity to beat up on anyone would disagree with them. What’s more narcissistic than assuming you’re the word of God and he speaks directly to you?
Still more disgusting is the way these men (sorry, I’ve yet to see a woman cheater publicly outed this way) assume that their wives are sticking with them. Give us time while “we” work through this! Suddenly it’s a “we” problem. Of course it is. Chumpy wives, pastor or political, are still of use to their narcissists.
According to the Citizen,
Throughout last fall’s congressional campaign, McAllister, a Republican from Swartz, touted his Christian faith and in one television commercial, he asked voters to pray for him. At least two other campaign television commercials featured McAllister walking hand in hand with his wife, Kelly, while their five children walked along. One television commercial captured the McAllister family in the kitchen of their home preparing breakfast before attending church.
What is good is a political ad unless you have telegenic props? Five adorable children and a lovely wife flipping pancakes. Narcissists need a really pretty front. Don’t go away! Forgive me! Publicly, adoringly, eat the shit sandwich for Jesus.
Jesus cheaters use religion against chumps (and their voters or parishioners, another kind of chump). As my husband pointed out this morning, it’s like that Garrison Keillor joke about mosquitoes in Minnesota. The only way to kill them is with a crucifix. But you have to hit them REALLY hard with it.
Jesus cheaters whack away with their crucifixes. Overstating their piety, and then retreating into it when they’re exposed. Jesus loves me. Jesus forgives me. Why can’t you? The self pity — pray for me!
Where’s God and His lightning bolts when you need them?