Chumps are not above enjoying some celebrity cheater Schadenfreude. This news video tidbit sent to me by alert member of Chump Nation, Chris Dirico.
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott — who cheated on their former spouses to find marital bliss with each other — are having marital troubles! Chumps, I know it will surprise you to learn that yep, Dean cheated on Tori. But unlike you or me, the Lifetime channel is paying folding money to watch Tori perform the pick me dance. (We just gave it away for free! You can get reality TV shows for this shit!)
Watch Tori prove that really, no, really — she’s still special.
Watch Dean shrug that hey, he was in a bad place. “That’s my worst nightmare, I cheated on my wife. I was out of control. … Sex was an escape, just like drugs and alcohol.”
Watch Tori wail — “I could never give him enough sex!”
Watch Dean furrow his brow with faux compassion and offer the baffling non sequitur: “You didn’t think you deserved me?”
Oh Tori, you didn’t think you deserved the wonderfulness that is serial cheater, rehab flunky Dean McDermott? I think Dean was in a bad place because, gosh Tori, you just don’t believe in yourself! You didn’t act like you DESERVED him. (Putting aside that whole cheating-on-your-first-husband-to-have-Dean piffle.)
A girl with several reality TV shows, four children, and heir to broadcasting fortune (assuming you patch things up with mom) — clearly you need more kibbles!
And nothing says kibbles like stealing another woman’s husband from her and publicly broadcasting your bliss on nationwide TV.
Now that it’s apparently not so blissful… well, hey, there’s kibbles in your humiliation. Paying kibbles! Talk about controlling the narrative — Tori you’ve got a crew of writers and PR folks to literally write you a new narrative. You can turn this frown upside down! Dean cheated, but look how brave you are, boldly putting it back together! Proving how resilient, and super, super special your love is. And, um, marketable.
I suspect no one will watch this crap except Dean McDermott’s ex-wife. Somewhere Mary Jo Eustace is popping popcorn.