Stay in Touch

Check out CL's Book

So Sad When Cheater Loves Goes Bad

Chumps are not above enjoying some celebrity cheater Schadenfreude. This news video tidbit sent to me by alert member of Chump Nation, Chris Dirico.

Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott — who cheated on their former spouses to find marital bliss with each other — are having marital troubles! Chumps, I know it will surprise you to learn that yep, Dean cheated on Tori. But unlike you or me, the Lifetime channel is paying folding money to watch Tori perform the pick me dance. (We just gave it away for free! You can get reality TV shows for this shit!)

Watch Tori prove that really, no, really — she’s still special.

Watch Dean shrug that hey, he was in a bad place. “That’s my worst nightmare, I cheated on my wife. I was out of control. … Sex was an escape, just like drugs and alcohol.”

Watch Tori wail — “I could never give him enough sex!”

Watch Dean furrow his brow with faux compassion and offer the baffling non sequitur: “You didn’t think you deserved me?”

Oh Tori, you didn’t think you deserved the wonderfulness that is serial cheater, rehab flunky Dean McDermott? I think Dean was in a bad place because, gosh Tori, you just don’t believe in yourself! You didn’t act like you DESERVED him. (Putting aside that whole cheating-on-your-first-husband-to-have-Dean piffle.)

A girl with several reality TV shows, four children, and heir to broadcasting fortune (assuming you patch things up with mom) — clearly you need more kibbles!

And nothing says kibbles like stealing another woman’s husband from her and publicly broadcasting your bliss on nationwide TV.

Now that it’s apparently not so blissful… well, hey, there’s kibbles in your humiliation. Paying kibbles! Talk about controlling the narrative — Tori you’ve got a crew of writers and PR folks to literally write you a new narrative. You can turn this frown upside down! Dean cheated, but look how brave you are, boldly putting it back together! Proving how resilient, and super, super special your love is. And, um, marketable.

I suspect no one will watch this crap except Dean McDermott’s ex-wife. Somewhere Mary Jo Eustace is popping popcorn.


Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at [email protected]. Read more about submission guidelines.
  • “Somewhere Mary Jo Eustace is popping popcorn.” LOL! So funny!!!

    Yes, I have no sympathy for Tori or Dean. Kind of like LeAnne R. She married a cheater. And she’s shocked…why?

    Just to give this onion another layer…my sister lives in LA and has several friends who work for reality shows….one of her good friends *writes* the *plotlines* for the episodes. Real Tori? Sort of. I believe Dean cheated, and I believe there’s real drama going on in their relationship. But I doubt we’re seeing the real Tori yet.

    • Is there a real Tori? I think she was surgically removed several nose jobs ago.

          • He, Rob Ford, and Justin Bieber are ruining our reputation for being nice, polite, boring people!

            • Oh no, he can’t be Canadian, can he????

              I’m so sorry that we inflicted him on the United States. Please feel free to return him in his original packaging.

        • Ok, I have google-investigated this dean guy. I did not know he was an actor, nor did I know that Tori Spelling kind of bragged about cheating on her 1st husband with him in a book she wrote.

          Nice (it’s not nice. Nothing nice about it).

            • LOL. Apparently not well, but at least she appears to have been right about one thing: he was her ‘soulmate’. 😉

              • Lol, TimeHeals, I think about that all the time when I’ve come across the purile writing that passes for love communication between OW and STBX. Twu Wub involves soul mates, and if I’d not come to CL and Chump Nation, I’d probably be really angry about all the references to soul mates. Okay, I still get angry, but I also step back and laugh. Yes, they are soul mates!

              • A Love Letter to My Soulmate — Tori Spelling, November 16, 2011


                I’ve known you my whole life. But only in my heart. I would dream of you for so long. So many represented you. My dad. Every Ken doll I ever played with. Every prince in every Disney cartoon. The lead character in every John Hughes film. Not one guy I ever dated. And, then you became a reality. It took me 32 years to find you. But only after I found me could I find you. Because you stood for the other half of me. You allowed me to be me. You’ve helped me achieve my dreams. I reach further knowing if I fall you’ll be there to catch me. You’ve given me the greatest gift I can ever know. The gift of motherhood.

                The three lives we’ve created together were made out of pure love. We will raise them with pure love. And, one day we will smile at each other knowingly as they each find their own soul mate. Thank you my love for the brilliant life we’ve created together. Thank you for making all my dreams come true.

                I love you…
                Tori xoxo

                I would like to hear their former spouses’ takes on this letter in view of recent events… if they can catch their breath between laughing fits.

              • That letter is so sick!!!! How can anyone believe that the universe meant for them to find someone who had a wife and kid and mess up their lives together? How can she talk about her kids being created out of love as thought his other kids are not worth loving?

              • What is it with these freaks that it’s always got to be “soul mates”? I suppose this is the APs way of getting rid of any shame or guilt. I noticed with my ex that it was only the OW that talked “soul mate”, the ex had other excuses – see the blame shifting thread, heh.

              • My ex called the OW his “perfect partner.” Guess that’s the same as soul-mate. Also, she was a “leader of leaders” and a “servant leader.” Gag.

              • ” But only after I found me could I find you. Because you stood for the other half of me.”

                LOL, love this double helping of disordered word salad.

              • ANOTHER Love Letter to My Soulmate


                I’ve known you my whole life. But only in my tiny brain which doesn’t know the difference between being a newborn baby and being 40 years old. I would dream of you for so long. So many represented you. My black Prada handbag. The shih tzu my dad gave me for my ninth birthday that I got bored of after 4 hours and we gave to our maid Maria (Maria the upstairs made not Maria the downstairs maid). A goat cheese salad with wildflower honey-blackberry vinaigrette I ate at Spago one time. That guy I was married to when I met you. An ottoman in the family room. And, then you became a reality. Because anyone who doesn’t have a TV show doesn’t really exist, you know? You allowed me to be me, and you only insisted that I surgically alter certain parts of me like my breasts and my nose and my lips and abs and my neck and my labia and my upper arms and that I divorce that other guy. But you’ve given me the greatest gift I can ever know: an even better Prada handbag than the seven I already had. The three lives we’ve created together were made out of pure love. Your love for me, and my love for me. And we will raise them with pure love because “Pure Love” is the name of the corporation my dad formed to employ our nannies and dog walkers and personal shoppers and gardeners and personal chefs and feng shui consultants. And one day we will smile at each other knowingly as if we each actually knew, you know, stuff. Thank you my love for the brilliant life we’ve purchased together. Thank you for making all the goals my old therapist described as “vapid” and “disturbing” come true.

                I love you…

                Tori xoxo

    • Me neither – zero sympathy.

      I remember when this first happened. I thought Tori was dumb as a box of rocks. It was clear that Dean only wanted her for her money. And once he married her, and it was clear that momma Candy was not going to back down “forgive” Tori and give her money, he started cheating. Meanwhile, Tori dances the pick me dance while having baby after baby for him.

      Now she’s nearly broke and tied to him by a gaggle of kids., and he looks like, well, a pudgy, scruffy loser. Nothing like what she married.

      Who knew Karma carried such a big stick?

  • Scary how some will just see this behavior as the normal course of “true love” no matter the strata of society. In fact they’ll spout that Tori Spelling who has attained the designations of OW AND chump, has gobs of moola and an 18 inch waistline and it even happened to her! Then you have other celebs spouting “monogamy is un-natural.” So called “family values” aside, whatever happened to just living by the “golden rule?” Not secular enough, I guess. Glad I’m in my fifties… I’m not looking forward to this wave of cultural evolution.

  • I just can’t watch this reality stuff. It’s all so fake or very sad. It also irks me when people use celebrities as relationship role models (“see, everyone cheats!”). Yuck.

    Btw, congrats on your segment on the BBC, CL! It was so cool to hear you speak on such a large broadcasting network. Your points were concise and spot-on, as usual. 🙂 It would be awesome if you could get more air time (maybe in the US!).

    • Thanks. It’s nice to get a format to get the message out, (especially the BBC! I’m such an Anglophile dork!) but I gotta say, I stress. I’m much more comfortable behind my computer screen. Relieved to hear people think it went well. It’s not my zone.

      • Yes, it came across very well, CL. It seems like sometimes people expect the “anti-cheater” message to be bitter, one-sided and emotional. You were the opposite – intelligent, well-spoken, rational, and friendly, with a healthy sense of humor. Way to represent!

          • No you were not bitter – better luck next time! LOLOL! You came across as thoughtful and philosophical. I loved it. Usually people sputter and yell when discussing infidelity and with good reason. You came across as someone who had the experience, sorted it all out and decided to use your knowledge and power for good instead of evil – kind of like Wonder Woman with a Blog instead of Bracelets. 🙂

            It was great listening to you get the Chumps’ POV out there with intelligence and humor.

            You seriously Rocked!

            • total agreement over here too CL. And I love “Wonder Woman with a Blog instead of Bracelets”. Yep, that’s our Tracy!

      • CL – you may be surprised to find yourself ‘forced’ into a National Media spotlight, like it or not. You were so well spoken, professional and, no, you certainly did not come across as bitter or defensive. Though you may have felt out of your comfort zone, I’m sure it’ll come easier the more you do it. It seems we have a national epidemic on our hands and you have the best voice to get it across to this nation. I hope you will consider going more public with this important message that…oh, probably 80% of us need to hear. So, hear hear! Glad you are our voice!

    • There are only four reality shows worth watchin IMHO…Football, baseball, basketball and hockey.

  • I have to confess I don’t know much about Tori Spelling or her OH. Neither of them get that much coverage here in the UK.

    However, I can tell that this is the kind of TV show that I despise. It is “car-crash” TV – so you are basically watching someone else (or multiple people) implode. Yes, I know she’ll be earning money and maybe that is what it is all about for her – but that doesn’t make it any less ghastly. All these kinds of TV shows are unhealthy as they invite scorn and prejudice from viewers. You never come away from these shows a better person in any way, they usually just reinforce attitudes amongst the general population that bad behaviour is tolerated (if not actually acceptable).

    • But hey! He was in a bad place! Bad behavior is tolerated if you go to rehab and make public pronouncements about what a “nightmare” it all was for *you*.

      I hope our form of ghastly entertainment hasn’t crossed the Atlantic.

      • Sadly it has & in so many forms. Hoarders, over-eaters, under-eaters, benefit cheats, drunks, shoplifters, bad drivers, obsessive compulsives not to mention the Jeremy Kyle type shows. Then you have Big Brother shows & The Only Way is Essex etc all of which focus on the worst aspects of their participants behaviour. Our channels are awash with them.

        I despise them all!

        • I avoid watching them because I don’t want to participate in the harm they do or have them make me a nastier person.

          However, I am afraid I have been cheering Tori’s misery in the tabloids for the past few weeks. She really deserves it.

          I suppose we should boycott the show so she doesn’t make any more money from it. I just wish people would bring up more often that she is getting back what she dished out.

          • I fucking hate “reality tv”, I knew it was coming after the Jerry Springer show was so popular, a show I watched all of 5 minutes of once. This is crap TV but it’s cheap to produce and it appears I’m a minority so it’s not going away. All I can do is turn the channel.

            • We turn the channel too–but it’s still the same shit on a different channel!

      • He’s got that Ted Nugent “addicted to poontang” disease 😉

        That, apparently, is what her reality show is going to pitch: he’s got an addiction, and she had him go to ‘rehab’ … to touch the magic unicorn, no doubt.

        • Is Ted Nugent the poster child for poontang addiction/unicorn touching?


          • Well, he’s a poster child for claiming victimhood under the overwhelming influence of the powerfully addictive poontang, yes.

            Sounds much better to say, “I was addicted to ‘poontang'” than it does to say, “The only person I really loved was myself, and I liked screwing women (even under-age girls), and I cheated on every woman or girl I was in a relationship with because it never really occurred to me that they had feelings or that those feelings might be as important as how much I liked screwing. Now let’s go shoot some bears out-of-season, and then complain about the Government when we get caught doing it”.

  • i don’t mind a little schadenfreude when celebrity cheaters implode. this whole chump experience has made me see celebrity cheaters a in a new light, and i don’t think their bad behavior should be forgotten, like:

    -julia roberts, for being an OW and being so publicly cruel to the wife, e.g., wearing a T-shirt with wife’s name on it trying to pressure her into divorcing quickly.

    -paul newman and joanne woodward (who have a reputation for having this “great” hollywood romance), for beginning their affair when paul was still married with 3 young kids. paul ended up cheating on joanne too and being an alcoholic, so maybe there is some karma there. i just can’t buy his spaghetti sauces anymore.

    -woody allen. i wonder if he’ll live long enough to ever see the karma bus, but he still publicly expresses no remorse for the pain he inflicted on mia and on her children. i can’t watch his movies now without thinking, man, what a narcissist!

    • Yuck, I didn’t know that about Julia Roberts. I don’t like Newman’s Own line of products anyhow. Woody Allen is hopeless, but I don’t even give him the title of cheater – child molester trumps cheater.

    • Blue, I look at the bios on and am SHOCKED by how many celebrities ended one marriage to marry their affair partners, including:

      Mickey Rooney/Elaine Devry
      Frank Sinatra/Ava Gardner
      Dean Martin/Catherine Hawn
      Laurence Olivier/Vivien Leigh
      Ingrid Bergman/Roberto Rossellini
      Eddie Fisher/Elizabeth Taylor
      Richard Burton/Elizabeth Taylor
      Joe Hamilton/Carol Burnett (he left a wife & 8 kids to marry Carol)
      Jaclyn Smith/Anthony Richmond

      The list goes on and on. Needless to say, it colors how I view them now…

      • I guess I’m not shocked that Hollywood (or Washington DC) is full of cheaters. Narcissists cheating? Horrors.

      • If I paid attention to actors/producers/directors personal lives I imagine I would never see another good movie or series again. I don’t concern myself with the ethics of the famous, I only worry about the ethics of people I interact with. So I will promptly forget the list you posted…

      • Cheaters are everywhere, in every profession and walk of life. But Hollywood is extra full of them. It’s hard to make it to the top of such a cut-throat business without being a narcissist. So it doesn’t surprise me to see all the cheating. I think a lot of Hollywood stars’ marriages are basically PR/business arrangements to begin with. A disgusting world, the entertainment biz.

        • The lifestyle doesn’t really lend itself to happy family life–being at different filming locations for months at a time while spending such long hours with other people.

          Not an excuse–just sayin’.

      • yeah, and how many of those marriages ended in divorce? i think all of them.

      • Both Sinatra and Burton were notorious serial cheaters. One part of the Burton story makes me laugh. It’s a tad complicated so bear with me. One affair Burton had on his first wife (they married very young, it seems, and he went off to pursue acting) was with Claire Bloom. She tells a story in her book of being in a play on tryouts with him. They were on a train, his wife was along. Burton would slip out during the night to schlep Bloom, then go back into his wife’s bed. Years later Bloom gets with the writer Philip Roth. They finally marry after many years together. He allegedly cheats. And she goes nuts.

        I find it all very, very amusing these days. 🙂

        • Loved this post…yes so different when they can pull the ‘I never realized how much it hurts…until it happened to me” card. (By the way, it’s ‘shtup’ not ‘schlep’–schlep actually means carry — well, maybe he did carry her too.)
          Thanks for your post.

      • Thanks for the list. However, your list implies that all of the cheaters lived happily ever after with their cheat partners….

        Mickey Rooney/Elaine Devry (DIVORCED after 6 years)

        Frank Sinatra/Ava Gardner (Both cheated on each other left and right and they separated after less than 2 years together. They divorced a few years after that.)

        Dean Martin/Catherine Hawn (DIVORCED after 3 years)

        Laurence Olivier/Vivien Leigh (DIVORCED…although the marriage lasted 20 years)

        Ingrid Bergman/Roberto Rossellini (DIVORCED after 7 years)

        Eddie Fisher/Elizabeth Taylor (DIVORCED after 5 years)

        Richard Burton/Elizabeth Taylor (DIVORCED and actually re-married…then DIVORCED a year later….wtf)

        Joe Hamilton/Carol Burnett (DIVORCED…although the marriage lasted 21 years)

        Jaclyn Smith/Anthony Richmond (DIVORCED after 8 years)

        As we can all see, relationships that begin out of an affair rarely last. It’s almost as if all of the couples were doomed from the start.

        The only couple that I can think of who would count as true cheater outliers would be Sting and Trudie Styler. Their story is a typical Cheater mindfuck: Sting leaves his wife and two kids (including a newborn) and runs off with wife’s best friend Trudie.

        However, that happened in 1982. Sting and Trudie remain together to this day.

      • How many of these marriages survived or were they just in a perpetual cycle? See if these new marriages survive in Hollywood then I guess I’m fucked and little ol’ Andrew and Joanna in outback Aussieland might just have found everlasting love afterall.

  • “Watch Dean shrug that hey, he was in a bad place.”

    Um, Bro? Yeah. For a married man, the vagina of a woman other than your wife is a VERY “bad place” to be. Like, worse than Canoga Park, even.

    And, “Watch Dean furrow his brow with faux compassion and offer the baffling non sequitur: ‘You didn’t think you deserved me?’”

    Tori Spelling? More like Tori Spackling. Though actually, since she’s a cheater, he is EXACTLY what she deserves.

    • Hey, what’s wrong with Canoga Park? I thought you were an Aussie, maybe you are referring to a different one

      • Is it not “the barrio” anymore? Been a long time since I’ve been back to California.

        Used to be gang activity there.

        • Canoga Park is not exactly the Garden of Eden. But Pacoima is a lot worse. Heck, a lot of the valley is bad news.

          • Hey, try heading to the Inland Empire – the Valley’s an unattainable dream…

  • Makes me want to puke all over my Raisin Brain. But least they’re getting MONEY out of the peasant chumps get to go through our personal hell with no reward. Other than kicking the cheater to the curb!

  • So what is it that those who cheat with a cheater think they are getting? Someone who has undying love for them just because they say, “I have never loved anyone like I love you.”? Do they honestly believe that they are the first ones the cheater has ever uttered those words to? What do you get when you marry a cheater? A cheater. And to top that off, in the real world, they are both cheaters … she who cheats with a cheater is no better than the person she cheats with whether she is married or not. Both are cheating! I hate these celebrities you throw out the “How could you do this to me?” What makes you so special? You were right in there with him when he was cheating with you. You think he won’t do it to you too because why??? Oh, because he LOVES you. Well, honey, he spoke those same words to someone else and look how that ended. I am so sick of people feeling so sorry for poor little rich girl. How dare he cheat on her. Well, honey, my sorry pot is empty. Welcome to our world, a world you helped create for others. Isn’t Karma a bitch?

    • I think the cheaters have a few lines that they use over and over.

      My exH apparently told his family (who I had very limited contact with; they only say our daughter once, and never met our son) that we didn’t have a “real marriage”; also told overseas OW the same thing, as well as ho-worker OW…

      So four years after leaving us (we hadn’t seen him at all), he phones to tell me he’s returned to the states. I was fishing for info, trying to find out how much he would be f’ing up my nice, calm new life, as well as the lives of the 2 kids he hadn’t seen in 4 years, and so I say, “How does your wife like the US?” To which he responds, “We’ll have to meet for coffee sometime and I can explain it all to you. You see, we don’t have a real marriage, the way you and I did. It’s very complicated, and a long story.” I was truly speechless. Then I found my voice and said, “Funny, that’s almost exactly what you told everyone about me.” So. not. original.

      • It’s funny, but when my XH cheated the first time, the OW sent me every email exchange they had ever had. After I divorced the sorry POS, he started emailing me. I would begin to read what he was writing and it was almost like he saved the emails he wrote her and just used them again. The sentiments were the same in both sets of emails. “She doesn’t understand me.” “Sex is awful.” “She doesn’t do it as well as you did.” “I’m so sorry that I let you get away.” I even asked him one time if he just had a form email that he filled out and hit send. Fucktards … all of them.

        • And yet, why oh why do people keep falling for those same lines? I mean, surely they wouldn’t keep using the same lines if they didn’t work?

    • I like this: “…my sorry pot is empty.” I will have to try to remember it. 🙂

  • I have a weakness for anagrams (words or sentences formed by rearranging the letters in other words or sentences), and something about this story called to me:

    “Tori Spelling weds Dean” anagrams to “Long-winded Reptile Ass”
    “Tori married Dean M” anagrams to “I”m a Retarded Minor”
    “Tori S and Dean M” anagrams to “Radiant Demons”
    “Tori Dean (and Karma)” anagrams to “A Darker Damnation”
    “Tori and Dean Cheaterpants” anagrams to “Potent, Ascendant Diarrhea”

  • *shrug* It’s KARMA.
    Ya get back what ya give out, with Interest.
    As for making $$ on it..well… Fact is, they Always invested their Greenbacks, they’ll get Returns on that Too…but the Cash Isn’t EVER gonna Buy Back their Dignity or Unfuckover Anybody.

  • Ok, so let me get this straight Tori . . . the guy you were cheating with, the guy who bailed on his wife to be with you, is now (gasp) cheating on you? How odd! How could this of happened?

    She signed up for this. When you cheat with another cheater, you’ve just bought and paid for the exact same thing happening to you eventually. Why don’t these idiots understand that?

    • Because they’re special.

      Way more special than chumps. See we aren’t soul mate special. No one EVER cheats on their soul mate.

      • Of course not. After all, when the cheaters told us chumps that we were their soul mates, they finished the second half of the sentence silently: “but that could change.” It’s OUR fault for missing that last silent bit.

    • “If the phone rings and it’s a girl’s voice, I have to ask if he’s having an affair. Dean tells me over and over again that he would never do that,” she wrote in her book Uncharted TerriTORI, which came out in 2010. [source Emily Longretta, Hollywood Life].

      So… the public love letters to her “soulmate” and such might also be part of a very long pick-me dance as well. Yes, Tori, that’s what “true love” is: betrayal, insecurity over the possibility of future betrayal, and so on.

      And apparently you making sex tapes with OM/Husband#2 that he converted to picture stills and shared with the woman he was screwing in Canada on night 2, grossing her out.

  • I haven’t read the above comments yet, but I have been OBSESSED with this story since it popped in December. It probably doesn’t hurt that my ex just married his mistress. I have to admit, it is very satisfying to see this unbelievable drama (seriously, she is letting people film this?)
    It does make you feel better to know that the grass ISN’T always greener! AND…reinforces everything our dear, CL has been preaching for the past year and a half.
    I will be watching Lifetime. Call it MY guilty pleasure…

  • CL, please send Tori a signed copy of your book as soon as it comes out!

  • I can’t help feeling irritated to notice that his first wife was so much more talented than Spelling. What the hell was he thinking? He had a wife who produced a music CD, worked as a chef, and then had a cooking show. She had real, actual talent.

    Dean traded her in for a mentally deranged actress who can only get work doing reality shows.

    I know it’s probably just that a woman worth having wouldn’t go for a married man, but it always surprises me that the married man will go for a woman with so much less.

    • Are you saying her obsession with “psychics” and “spiritual mediums” and such is mentally deranged? LOL.

      I didn’t know much about Tori Spelling before this article got me googling her. I just thought she was a mediocre-to-bad actress. The more I read now, however, the more flakey she seems.

    • Not only is his ex-wife way out of his league, she is beautiful. I’ve seen many ugly women in my life and Tori Spelling is definitely on that list. That is one ugly bugged eyed skank. And he looks like a complete cheese dick. These two ugly cheaters found each other… how romantic…. If I was his wife or her ex husband I would be laughing my ass off right now. Gotta love Karma!

  • I am so interested in this sex thing. My cheater had no lack, at all, of sex at home. I have a good friend who was flabbergasted to find out her husband was cheating because they had sex every night. Yes. Every. Night. If they don’t get sex at home, they say the problem is sex. But if they get tons of sex at home, they say lots of other dumb stuff that they probably read in GQ (Like, “I tried to love you but I couldn’t. I wanted to love you but I don’t.”) I don’t think there’s any legit reason. They just can’t admit, even to themselves, that they just cheated cuz they wanted to and it sounded fun at the time. Their fidelity is just not important to them- bottom line.

    • This as well. My cheater had no lack of sex, but what I am beginning to understand while traveling down the road to “Meh”, is that it had more to do with his insecurities.

      D-Day for me happened at a time when I was beginning to succeed and gain confidence in myself. After a decade and a half of being the SAHM completely under his control and living to please him and be a “good wife”, I started a career and was beginning to see my worth. At the same time, his inflated BS palace was beginning to crumble and work, family and friends were starting to see the cracks. The OW was an old high school girlfriend that remembers him as he was in his glory days and was there to replenish the kibble supply that was rapidly drying up at home.

      I think they feel threatened by others success and their overinflated fragile ego can’t handle the competition and needs to find easier prey.

      I’ve seen Mary-Jo in action on her shows and she is a kick ass, hilarious, beautiful and talented woman (much like our Chump Lady!) and I remember being shocked at the time that anyone would leave her for the likes of Tori Spelling. But after reading Tori’s kibble-spew posted by TimeHeals up-thread, it’s starting to make more sense.

  • I think the drama is great and all. I just do not hold out hope it exists in my situation. Just living the dream that I get to go on and be fabulous while they both remain common assholes.

    Back to the dissertation. . .

    • Not only are you going to go on and be fabulous – you already are. Like all of us who have lived this nightmare, we’re beyond fabulous – we’re sublime! And trust me on this one – they will remain common assholes until they draw their last fart.

    • Good luck on the dissertation- you can do it! And you are, and will be, fabulous

  • This is awesome. A few years ago, Mary Jo Eustace’s book, “Divorce Sucks” was a freebee on kindle. I downloaded it because of my hatred of Tori Spelling, as a “frivoulous read” years before I became a CHUMP. I never laughed so hard or felt so fucking horrified for anyone as I did for MARY JO. OMG. KARMA FUCKING BUS!!!!!

    I recently just started re-reading DIVORCE SUCKS again as I’m most likely embarking on it soon, and OH MY FUCKING THANK GOD THIS IS HAPPENING TO TRU WUV TORI SPELLING!!!!

    My STBX Husband (as soon as I am ready to pull the trigger) recently told me his OW wouldn’t DATE HIM again until I was VERY CLEAR THAT THEY HAD A LEGITIMATE RELATIONSHIP. I see this psycho making a T-shirt with my fucking name on it too, insisting I divorce him.

    I hope someone invites Mary Jo to come post here. She’s fucking hilarious.

  • I read that Mary Jo Eustace book called “Divorce Sucks” a while ago. I liked her style! Tell Tori that since ALL cheaters are narcissists, this is what happens when 2 of them find each other. He is no prince; he is Cinderella’s ugly stepbrother. (No offense to stepbrothers). This is what happens when the karma bus is on track!

  • Cheaters think they’re not the problem, the ex-spouse was the problem. The solution for cheaters is to move on to the next ‘soulmate”. The thing is cheaters hate being cheated on….it’s unimaginable.

    When two cheaters get together it’s a battle as to who is more shit. Tori is a small glitter turd and her husband is a large glitter turd. I understand they’re struggling financially and have money problems and the are wiling to air their dirty laundry for a few bucks.

    Don’t be surprised if they come up with a fragrance peddled on the shopping channel in the near future. I suggest they call it “Eau de POO”.

  • Beep! Beep! I fucking LOVE the karma bus. The disordered never have a clue what just hit them, and never will, but those of us outside their disordered world get to laugh and nod our heads.

  • Any ChumpMoms out there ever watch “Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs” with the kids? The one where the weather machine malfunctions and it starts “raining” cheeseburgers all over town, complete with a “tornado” of spaghetti and meatballs?

    Tori’s life is starting to resemble that, except it’s raining eggs all over her face.

    All of her “I’m so happy and in love!” public declarations. The way she paraded her affair/marriage in front of the world in those reality shows. The way she publicly criticized Mary Jo for being infertile and then popped out four kids with Dean in rapid succession.

    And NOW it’s raining eggs that taste like KARMA. Now poor Tori knows how Mary Jo felt when Dean ran around on her. Now Tori knows what it feels like when the man you’re devoted to falls back on his old ways without a care in the world for how it will affect you.

    Only now Tori seems intent on doing a very public pick-me dance. And that’s just embarrassing.

    My heart goes out the kids.

    • Somehow I don’t think Tori is going to connect the dots to how Mary Jo felt. Something tells me empathy isn’t her strong suit.

      I mean, unless there is a paying reality TV show for that.

      Next Lifetimes series — watch Tori Spelling apologize to Mary Jo Eustace while standing neck deep in pig slop! “I just can’t say I’m sorry enough!”

      • No, unfortunately, the truly disordered never see the karma bus the way we do. For them, it is just a “poor me” situation, because they see themselves as victims, no matter what bad deeds of their own brought about the situation. They are never able to accept blame for anything, and never see themselves as less than perfect.

  • These two tricks. It’s not just that they each cheated on their spouses, it’s that they started banging the night they met, 3 weeks later The Deaner tells his wife, whom he had just adopted a child with, that Spelling was his soulmate and loved him unconditionally. And to top it off Spelling ran around throwing shade at Deaner’s first wife, saying things like ‘Well, I’m young enough to give him all the children he wants’.

    Then, when the cheating rumours first surfaced a couple of years ago Spelling pulled a nutty because her kids saw the stories on the covers of various gossip rags. She didn’t mind when Deaner’s 7-year-old son had to deal with the public fallout of her affair with the weaselly one but her kids? Bad gossip rags! Bad! Between these two and the McSquints (Rimes and the gigalo) I shake my head while waiting for it to all blow up.

  • This is, I hope, the right thread to share that my Ex *could not wait!* to tell our 21 yo daughter that he was banging a new new/old GF…but wait! Said GF was (is) a dominatrix! Who lives in California…and he’s leaving basically right away… Of course he shared with her so it would get to me. But since this was the GF who dumped him like 30 years ago…before we met…I know lots about her. Like her S/M tendencies. and her Parkinson’s . And the fact that she was happily married last fall while she was also shtupping my not-quite-ex husband!

    Her FB said she was all lovey-dovey with her (now former) hubby…but the CA divorce court records show they didn’t file until 2014. You’d think for once these idiots would understand the meaning of “public records”.

    Anyway, since his OW was from high school, I figure an old college flame is something of an improvement.

    But seriously? If he thinks he’s upset me…all I want is a big bowl of popcorn. I mean, if she’ll cheat with you, she’ll cheat on you and vice versa. Cheaters gonna cheat is my motto.

    I can’t wait for the Karma bus to get to Santa Cruz! (If he hadn’t upset my daughter so much I would be giggling out loud.)

  • Totally not related, but their kids are actually beautiful, and I don’t think either of them are attractive. Maybe if two weird looking people make beautiful kids, two cheaters will make non-cheater kids and they all have tons of empathy will make faithful partners.

  • Thought you guys might enjoy this. Someone posted a link to this article to Mary Jo Eustace’s site and she commented:

    mary jo eustace
    I actually don’t normally read much about this subject – but your article was hilarious and amazingly insightful!


  • excellent. The Nation gathers strength and marches forward (insert Danerys/GoT reference of choice here.) We need some scorched earth, dragons. Burn those fuckers, then, voila! Meh.

  • I totally missed the boat by not recording all aspects of my Was-Been’s teary apologies… Damn, coulda used that money, too…

  • Just watched the clip. Fake, fake, fake. Ewwwwwwwuhhhhhhhh. They are gross. I can’t watch that.

  • I committed the cardinal sin of visiting Tori Spelling’s web site and then reading the free excerpts for her books, and I’m starting to think she’s pretty darn flakey and narcissistic herself (kind of like my ex minus any shyness).

    I now think all this Big Show of their HUGE love was just narcissistic impression management where “image = commerce”, at least in her mind. It just seems pumped up by the whole “celebrity status = $$$” thing.

    She goes on and on about how “Tori” is a brand (that’s the commercial aspect), and to this end has a line of children’s clothing, cookbooks, a perfume, etc, etc, so the mythos of Perfect Pure Love is actually part of a sales pitch too, and she now seems intent on turning Dean’s very public humiliation that challenged that enterprise/mask into a marketable Pick-Me Dance + Marriage Police that maintains the mythos of at least her Perfect Love (she will be Perfectly betrayed and probably do a nice bit of performance art on “The Taming of the Wild Unicorn”, but whatever it is, and however it turns out, I expect it to be an illusion of sorts intended to sell the Tori, because she’s like a brand, you know?

    • “maintains the mythos of at least her Perfect Love (she will be Perfectly betrayed and probably do a nice bit of performance art on “The Taming of the Wild Unicorn”

      BINGO! Still selling the story that it’s perfect love. Cause otherwise she would just look dumb for being such a blatant cheater-skank.

      • In the end, no matter what happens, it’s part of her story line and she just needs to script it and play out the role–soul mate, mother, victim, brave wife playing “pick me.” And that is what we see on camera. What goes on in what is left of her human “self” is probably even uglier.

    • Yes, nothing like conceiving of yourself as a “brand” to be sold and not a person. They turn themselves into something to sell–metaphorical whoring. So we should not be surprised when they whore in the more traditional sense–in this case (and the Kardashians’ case) selling their relationships for money. It occurs to me that these people might be developing an entirely new form of narcissism, involving marketing the “self” internationally as a “special” brand to be desired and consumed.

  • ChumpLady you are awesome and so are all my fellow ChumpMates out there. WTF is our world coming to when people that we (fellow Chumps) choose to be our point of interest (actors)? They fuck up because they are flawed selfish asshole pigs like real people! Well, not like us….just like our scumbag Ex’s . Does hearing about famous wealthy people suffering like the rest of us make our shit any better? It is sure as hell funny and good for a laugh. We are spending our money on the crap tabloids and wasting our precious brain cells ,time and energy reading and commenting on these fucking losers. They are no better than us. Does it make us feel better? Sure, sometimes, I guess. Misery loves company, right?
    These people are not anything special! Celebrities lie and cheat and deceive and yes…. Karma evens visits Hollywood. I hope she pays a visit to my ExNarc very soon and doesn’t hit rush hour traffic. LOL

  • Only we who’ve walked Mary Jo’s shoes will ever know what it is liked to be dumped for another. Nobody knows that in our cases dumping stands for deception, betrayal, blame, libel. It doesn’t take 2, it just takes one to blindside and one to believe (trust).
    I also hope the Karma bus stops at my ex and his howorker’s place soon if it hasn’t already. My former h doesn’t want any more kids and she’s desperate being in her late 30s. So far it’s 1:0 my ex. LOL

  • Stop bashing Tori, God. We are all human and make mistakes. How would you feel if horrible things were said about you online about all of the times you screwed up in life? I don’t think I could handle that.

    • If she had a private life, sure — nothing to say. But Tori Spelling is a “brand” who wants to be talked about. She broke up a family, and then went on to broadcast her bliss and celebrity to the world. And, surprise, the cheater cheated on her. Apparently she STILL wants people to talk about this because she has another reality TV show about her failing marriage.

      I don’t think she feels “horrible.” All kibbles are good kibbles.

    • Hey Tori…I mean Jackie, Spelling has made a career out of thrusting her sad life into the viewing public’s face. She’s been a vile bitch about the first wife. She’s been pleased as punch that she fucked up not only another woman’s life but also the lives of two kids. Then she moans that her kids are being hurt by the publicity surrounding her idiot husband’s affairs. Sorry, lady, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t crow to the world about how fabulous and wonderful your life and marriage is (and make bank off all that crowing) while running down the first wife and then expect the world to not point and laugh when it all blows up in your smug, smug face.

  • I just read through your site and you have put a lot of time and effort obsessing about this past relationship. You were cheated on. I’m sorry. I have been cheated on like countless other women and men. You seem like a brilliant person that has a lot going for her. Why would you blog about being a chump? Kind of like Mary Jo Eustace. I couldn’t get through her book because she was obsessing about this failed marriage. I was thinking she is a talented and accomplished woman, why would she not try to get over the loser she was married to and get on with her life?

    • Seriously? Show me where I “obsess” about my past relationship. This blog is about infidelity, not my story. I don’t judge anyone who writes about their own infidelity experience, blog or book, whether that’s Mary Jo Eustace or whoever.

      I think you’re unclear on the concept of this place — leave a cheater, gain a life. (get over loser, get on with life.)

      • Hey Jackie

        I smell troll….

        People who’ve been cheated on…don’t have your attitude. People who’ve been cheated on feel empathy and even when they reach the “meh” in their own situation would never condescend and infer “get over it”

        CL is a survivor who not only got to “meh” she is helping others reach the “meh”.

        Jackie, either you’re an idiot or a idiot troll. Most likely both.

  • >
    %d bloggers like this: