Happy Mother’s Day chump moms!
Hope you’re sleeping in today, enjoying waffles later, and getting misty over some homemade kid’s creation. (A pottery ashtray? You shouldn’t have! A pipecleaner bracelet? I’ve always wanted one!) If you’re past the pipecleaner bracelet stage of life, I hope some surly teenager has awoken from his slumber long enough to give you a hug today, or your adult kid gives you a call.
To everyone who did not get the corsage today, is not standing in line for some over-priced brunch, and is doing this single mom gig alone and uncelebrated — let me just say — YOU ARE MIGHTY! And I get it. Because I lived it. The rewards are worth it. Please celebrate yourself, whether that’s an all day Netflix binge, chocolate for lunch, or whatever makes you feel indulged. Do it. You deserve it.
To everyone who is still married to a cheater they had kids with, who is not getting you the corsage, is not standing in line for some over-priced brunch, who is not celebrating you — let me just say — this is one of the punishments of breeding with a fucktard. Mother’s Day is a million times better alone with your kids than ignored by some passive aggressive lummox. Consider a life without the lummox.
To all the non-moms out there, I hope today you’re celebrating your mom and that you still have a mom around to celebrate.
I got a really sweet card from my son today, that his step-dad made him buy (good guy modeling!), but he wrote the inscription.
“Thanks for all your awesomeness. And for always being there for me. Love (Chump Kid).”
He’s 16. I got a LOVE. I got teenager kibbles! He gets that I was there for him!
This is so much better than a corsage.
Happy Mom’s Day everyone!