I confess, I sometimes enjoy my bully pulpit here so I can post youtube videos of artists I like, most of them obscure R&B performers.
After yesterday’s epic post on how did we find out we were chumps, several folks asked for a post on how do you trust again. I’m working on that — will post soon! But when I was thinking about trust, this one song lyric of Ruth Brown’s kept popping up in my head “I don’t feel the need to GIVE it away!”
Which is how I feel about trust now — I’m discriminating. I don’t feel the need to give it away.
I was running this article idea on trust by my husband and he was like “Oh no. Not Ruth Brown.” Essentially, he feels (probably rightly) that it doesn’t improve my writing to inflict my favorite youtube videos on you.
Oh, okay — so you get a Saturday post (my lowest traffic day, btw) on Ruth Brown and her message of self respect.
I have to say for the record, however, that when it comes to inflicting obscure music on others, my husband is pretty guilty himself. Polka, Bob Wills, and countless yodeling Texans that would make anyone flee north on I-35 to escape the sound of it. Ruth Brown could take Bob Wills ANY DAY. (We also have another epic argument that Bob Seger is infinitely superior to Bruce Springsteen, and I’m sure any of you from Detroit will agree with me.) If he had a blog, you can bet there’d be a lot of lugubrious singer songwriters and yodeling Texans.
But back to Ruth Brown and trust issues. God bless that woman — here’s a song about boundaries. Ostensibly it’s a bawdy, double entrendre song about selling a “chair.”
If I can’t sell it, I’m going to sit down on it/I don’t feel the need to give it away!
But it’s really this one awesome woman’s assertion of her self worth. This cheapskate comes around and “wants something for nothing.” But she’s not going for that. You want this? You’re going to have to pay what it’s worth. Stick around for the send off, a classic!
This is how trust needs to be — do not feel the need to just give it away. Know your worth, and make sure people “pay” to earn your trust. Which you will see through their actions over time. Trust in your ability to enforce boundaries, to say no to users. And most of all, trust in your own resiliency — someone tries to play you again? In the words of Ruth, “Baby, I’m GONE.”