As you can tell, I enjoy good invective and you guys have been sharing some real winners lately.
From Rumblekitty: “he’d fuck a snake if you held open its mouth.”
From Tonya: “‘oh him, he’d get up on a cracked plate.”
From Rose: “You can wax and bleach it, but it’s still an asshole.”
So I thought today we could share our favorite curses and expressions — nothing like a good outpouring of profanity to aid digestion of the shit sandwiches cheaters inflict.
Fuckityfuckityfuck! — satisfying, but sometimes it’s not enough to just string naughty words together, you need a crackerjack such as, “as welcome as a turd in the punchbowl” to get your meaning across.
Stupid? “A few sandwiches shy of a picnic.” “Doesn’t have all the paints in his paintbox.”
I had a grandfather from Terre Haute who elevated coarseness to an art form.
“Don’t get your bowels in an uproar!”
What time is it, grandpa?
“Milking time! Grab a tit!”
Alternatively, “Time for all fools to be dead… Ain’t you feeling sick?”
Apparently Indiana dairy farmers aren’t the most refined company. “Hotter than a June bride in a feather bed.” “Slipperier than snot on a doornail.” “Touch my Manhattan and you’ll pull away with a bloody stump.”
And of course, “Christ on a crutch!”
So showcase your potty mouth today, chumps. I’d like to hear some new ones.