One of the ugly repercussions of infidelity are triggers. Mercifully, triggers go away in time — really, I swear — as you approach “meh.” I suspect triggers don’t really go away if you reconcile, but I can’t say for certain, as I only attempted reconciliation for about a year. But it stands to reason that the person who betrayed would be a trip wire of things that remind you that… this person betrayed you.
The cheater could just go about their business, oblivious to the significance of Affair Objects of Great Import. After all, what is it to you?
MOTOROLA CELL PHONES, oh REALLY?
SKIING IN VERMONT? — sure, yeah, right.
The CROWNE PLAZA HOTEL IN HARRISBURG, Hmmmm????
But the chump knows. These are the totems by which the affair was conducted. These are the polluted things, forever sullied.
And yet… is it fair to the Crowne Plaza Hotel of Harrisburg, Pa. that I hold a grudge?
There was a time I couldn’t drive by that ugly mid-price hotel without sudden nausea. Now, (not that I have reason to get to Harrisburg) I don’t give a flip. It’s not part of my mental landscape any more.
But while I haven’t triggered — nausea, anxiety, panicky dread — since I was in that sucktacular marriage, certain things still irrationally carry bad associations: Paris, Pittsburgh, the entire state of West Virginia, bluegrass music, and BMW motorcycles. I’d like to not hate Pittsburgh on principle, but if that ick factor doesn’t go away, I’ll live. Whoever you are, if you drive a BMW motorcycle, you are a douchebag. But Paris? No, I want Paris back.
I honeymooned in Paris with the cheater. Although I had been to Paris several times before — I was chumped before, during, and after that honeymoon and I paid for the damn trip. Some day I’d like to have some new associations with the City of Lights that aren’t — God, I was an epic chump there. (Forehead slap.)
My ex can have the Crowne Plaza Hotel of Harrisburg, but I’m taking Paris back.
Do you have a Super Fund clean-up site of cheater places? What’s on your take back list?