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Ta-DA! It’s for sale!

Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000038_00055]By God, it’s finished! Woot!

If you’d like to purchase The Chump Lady Survival Guide to Infidelity, you can buy it immediately from the eStore at createspace here.

If you’re not in the U.S., or you prefer to buy it from Amazon — they say it will be 3-5 days (boo!) for it to show up in both and the international Amazon sites. I’ll be sure to announce when that goes live.

Sorry about the Kindle debacle — I’m working on getting a formatter for that (apparently Kindle does not play nicely with other software programs) — but I’ll get that up as soon as I can. Probably in a few weeks.

Meanwhile — I’m really pleased! Looked at the page proofs and oh yeah, this is definitely something you can leave on the coffee table to aggravate a cheater in your life. But better yet, it’s a nice, non-threatening presentation of a loving bitchslap to give to a chumpy friend.

I so appreciate your guys’ support through all of this. Yea CHUMP NATION! We are MIGHTY!

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at [email protected]. Read more about submission guidelines.
  • If we wait to buy it on Amazon, we can bring it up in status to make the public sales rank stronger and then add comments.
    As much as I want to buy IMMEDIATELY, I am going to wait for Amazon so the huge sales appear publicly and go through the roof.
    I want this on the New York Times best seller list.
    What do you think, CL?

    • Dang, I wish I had thought of this before I ordered my copies. If Tracy gets a better cut of the profits by ordering through CreateSpace, I won’t be mad at myself for the itchy trigger finger.

      • Weirdly, CreateSpace is owned by Amazon, so I don’t understand the wait. And I think the royalties are the same. But no worries! Thanks so much. 🙂

        • You earn more if purchased through createspace. They say 3-5 days, but it only took about 36 hours for me, so keep checking! So happy the book is out! Already bought my copy and will be buying again for kindle! Congrats!

            • A friend of mine self-published a wonderful non-fiction book and it just hit #1 in its category. It took a couple of years. It really helps if people write smart reviews–something right in the Chump Nation wheelhouse. Today–publication. Next–#1 in the category!

      • Amazon said that it will only count towards book AND author ranking if purchased off the Amazon site.
        They also said anyone not buying off the Amazon site may not be able to review the book.
        I’m waiting.
        I want this sucker to be #1.

        • I think they normally allow you to write a review if you purchase elsewhere, as long as your amazon profile isn’t sketchy (it doesn’t look like you’re the author or a family member) however, it won’t say verified purchase under the review and some people discount those types of reviews.

    • I say we BUY BUY BUY as many copies as we can folks – let’s get this thing to #1 on the bestseller lists!!! Christmas is coming up quickly you know and it’s never too early to start shopping !

      Now, who’s willing to volunteer promoting the book on Si and the other infidelity site?

      • I don’t think they will allow it at SI. I’m banned over there. 🙁

          • Surviving Infidelity…otherwise known as SI. It’s an online support group that strongly encourages reconciliation through strategies known as the 180, transparency, enforcing boundaries and the pick me dance. I started there, I still lurk, post on occasion and respond to subjects that catch my eye. I made my way through the forum of Just Found Out, General, Reconciliation before landing in the Separated/Divorce forum. Checked out CL at that point and find that this site is a much better fit for me. The truth is spoken here and Chump Nation is a great source of support.

  • Woot woot and Congrats Tracy. Soothing sanity to battle the stupid shit of cheaters.
    Can’t wait to buy it on payday. Bless you woman.

  • Congratulations Tracy! I’ve ordered my copy.

    Thanks for everything.

  • Rebecca, good point about Amazon. This is why I’m waiting (and also because Amazon donates to my son’s school.)
    I have a question for Tracy: why did you not title the book “lose a cheater, gain a life?” Is the message too off putting for some, I wonder…?

    • I remember back to the first weeks after my STBX left me and our 2 children for an OW half his age. Frantic to untangle the skein of fuckupedness, I trawled through Amazon hoping to find the book with the answer on how to get my family back together. I wasn’t ready to hear that my marriage was over. If I had come accross a book with the tag line – Leave a Cheater Gain A Life – I would have passed it by.

      I suspect that its omission is deliberate. The more chumps that read this book the better!

      Congratulations on your book CL, I have been lurking here in Ireland for a good few months now. Your blog inspires me, thank you.

      To all the contributors at Chump Nation, you are an amazing bunch, your posts make me laugh and cry and always give me the encouragement to keep going.

      • Willow, same here. After D-day, I was just Googling things like “how to save my marriage after infidelity.” I wasn’t looking to leave my cheater, but trying to get him to come back to me. Back then, I thought, if there’s a way for me to save my marriage, I’m going to find it.

        • I wasn’t married to the Jackass, but I definitely wanted to save the relationship. I get why people want to do that. But that reaction is part of our problem, I think–that we think about the “we” even at the expense of the “I,” as if one person could save a relationship. Once a partner has broken the commitment–save yourself. Save your kids by showing them good boundaries. There’s no need to divorce right away. Just separate and concentrate on your life. If the cheater is not a disordered narcissist jackass, perhaps he or she will get help and a new contract will be possible. My own thoughts on this now are–you want someone else? Fine. Get out of the doorway. You’re blocking traffic.

    • Well, I had the banner on there and it looked weird. And I decided the blog is different than the book. The book is a field guide that’s about the chump, how to navigate this. About chump sanity, NOT the pick a cheater dance.

      I am blunt in my skepticism about reconciliation in the first chapter, but I wanted to build my reasoned arguments with humor and observation, and not just turn people off by telling them what to do in the title.

      That said, it’s filed under “Divorce/Separation”!

      Blog is different. Some advice I got with a blog is let people know your message in the first second with a tagline — thus “leave a cheater, gain a life.”

      The book’s message is field guide-ish. Here is the terrain. Here are the dangers. Here’s how you judge if they’re really sorry. Here’s some of the stupid shit you can expect. Here’s how to react.

      I try to make good arguments (and snark) and let you come to your own conclusions.

      You figure, people buying this book are still on the fence. Which is why I market it as an alternative to “save your marriage single-handedly” — it’s about saving YOURSELF.

  • Congrats. Time well spent. Us chumps need a guide like this, cause heaven knows the RIC isn’t helping.

  • And PURCHASED! Congrats Tracy. I hope you are celebrating enthusiastically all weekend long!

  • Just purchased two copies!!! Yeeeeehaaaa!! Second copy for a friend who is the Queen of Denial right now–but I am hoping that she’ll read this book just to “prove me wrong” and a seed will be planted! THANK YOU CL!!!

  • Purchased! Well done Tracy! Will write a review too when it is out on Amazon! Hope it’s a best seller!!!

  • Congratulations CL – I’m looking forward to reading it. Keep us posted as to when non-US chumps can but it.

        • Ordered it on Amazon. Takes ages to ship (cheap option, estimated on july 25th). But gaining a life doesn’t come with a time limit…

          Is it just me, or do others find it difficult to share their purchase on social media? Everybody – that matters – knows what happened. But it feels like a little too much info, to put out in the open, rather than in a personal conversation. On the other hand, your site/book should be out there… we need a counterweight against cheaterpostings like “we found love”, “soulmates” and reconciliation fables.

      • I haven’t dug out my credit card yet (hesitating to overshare, but I have yet to shower and get dressed, either), but it sure looks to me like Canadians, at least, can purchase it on CreateSpace right now.

        • I will have to wait till next week as Amazon on the two previous occasions I have tried to purchase books through them they have rejected my card. I ended up buying another book recommended on this site through another outlet it was cheaper and here in a week. Shipping was free can’t knock that.

          As I want several copies, so I am happy to wait.

  • Way to go, CL! Can’t wait to buy my copy! Let this be the beginning of a huge cultural shift in our society’s opinion about infidelity and the uprising of all Chumps who will finally take back their power and discover that they are MIGHTY! 🙂

  • Way to go Tracy. Your insight, humor and absolutely dead on accurate assessment of navigating the hell-ride that is infidelity needs to be shared with a bigger audience. Rock on Chump Lady. Love your cartoons too.

  • Congratulations Tracy! I can’t wait to get my copy to read on the beach in a few weeks. I know this will be a huge success! You’re insightful, witty and to the point. Thanks for all of your wonderful advice! I hope that man of yours served champagne with your blueberry oat squares this morning. Enjoy!

    • He’s a super sweetie. He brought home margaritas and fajitas last night. 🙂

  • I am so excited to get many paperbacks to hand out. As a marriage and family therapist it is better to give a client a book to read to see if they “recognize anything that might apply to them” as I can’t come out and say RUN! Your book will be so incredibly helpful, as your blog has been to me. Seven years from DDay and feeling mighty!!! Thank you Tracy.

    • I love this! “Uh, this might apply.” I wish someone would’ve handed me a book. I imagine the shrink writes an inscription in invisible ink that says “RUN!”

    • This! More therapists who can guide the chumped to better lives, rather than spend time and money trying to “fix” what can’t be! Yay for the reading matter being added to YOUR library, It Is What It Is.

    • What It Is: why can’t you as a therapist come put and say, “RUN!” to a client in MC?

      • ANC – that is because it is directive (telling people what to do), and people have to come to their own conclusions and deal with their own lives.

        This is important. My IC has been very patient, having clocked the narcissist quite quickly, and has in the last 3 years kind of saying everything BUT ‘run’! But it has taken me 7 years to give up the hopium pipe, and I had to get there myself.

  • Congratulations, CL, and Thank You!! I’m going to buy a stack to hand out to any and all chumps I meet. As MovingOn said, this could be the start of a cultural shift – and let’s hope the RIC really takes a good, long look at this. Thank you for all of your hard work in taking your message to the next level. You ROCK!

  • Just echoing Rebecca, but if you want to wait to purchase on Amazon, you’ll be able to post a comment and contribute to the book’s ranking. Alas, not possible on CreateSpace. Also, anyone not in the U.S. I think has to wait for Amazon. Hopefully it will be a brief wait!

    Either way, thanks so much for your support!

  • Congratulations on the book! Couldn’t wait….ordered my copy today. Will buy a second copy form Amazon to give as a gift to a friend who’s also a Chump!

  • CL,

    I cannot tell you how thrilled I am for you. Words can never express how much I was helped and saved by finding your blog when I felt nothing in my life made sense and would ever be right again. There are times I have felt that you literally saved my life – you and the other Chumps on this site.

    I am going to wait to buy the book (BOO! HISS!) on Amazon so the book gets the maximum amount of credit and exposure. What you lose in income, I will make up to you by purchasing some Chump merchandise from Cafe Press. ;).

    I love you Tracy and you deserve all the acclaim and success that I know is coming your way.

  • CL,

    Congratulations on your book! You’re a treasure and have inspired so many people who have been traumatized throughout their false marriage.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart and for making us realize that we ALL deserve better!!

  • YYAAAAAAYYYY! (how do I really feel?) Liked on FB….

    We are mighty–thank you to the fearless leader for marshaling us, something something GoT analogy, something.


  • Congratulations Tracey! you are awesome, I’ve gotta wait for the kindle version so I’ll definitely be ranking you. Also, you need to argue with Amazon about the category, it should also be in the same categories as the RIC books!

  • Can’t wait to order off Amazon. Congratulations, CL, and thanks for all you do here in Chump Nation!

  • It’s funny. I read a review for a book or a movie (can’t recall which) about a man who has an affair and then gets remorseful when the wife starts making a life for herself…I couldn’t even imagine going to see if if the cheater and his story are the focus. All I would be thinking for my $8 would be “leave a cheater, gain a life.” I think about how if I knew last summer and early fall what I know now, I would have trusted my gut when I told the Jackass to go home and stay there if he “was too busy” to live up to his commitments. It’s never too late to develop some standards about the kind of treatment you expect and what you won’t accept. I’ve done a lot of therapy, and believe me, it was all for the good, but being part of Chump Nation has changed me and my life. Congratulations, Tracy, and know that you will be reaching even more people with your book.

  • HOORAY!!!! Congratulations! I just ordered a copy from Amazon, arriving Sunday (love prime). I think I will stay up all night reading it. Can’t wait. Perfect time too, STBX is being served next week. You saved my life, and I am not exaggerating. I would never have made it this far without you CL, and I hope your message makes it out to the people who need to hear it.

  • Good morning from Melbourne CL. I have placed an order and I cannot wait to receive it. Thanking you for such a great site and your wise words and all the wise words of every Chump here. Have a great day everyone!

  • I just ordered the paperback from Amazon proper. I don’t need it anymore (and hopefully won’t ever again) but I seem to be the go to guy for people who have been cheated on and need someone to talk to so I’ll read through it and keep it on hand to lend out as needed.

    I hope this is a rousing success! There really is a hole in the “books on infidelity” market where the “Run!” message should be.

  • Just bought my copy!!! Getting it next week!!!! Can’t wait to read it!!

    Smooches all over your face Tracy!!

  • Ordered from Amazon too – they said July 1! I feel like most days I’m teatering on MEH but I cant wait to see this book 🙂 As much as I hope not, I have the feeling I’ll be doling out advice on infidelity/divorce in the next decade or so (I just happen to be a front runner in my group!) and you quickly became my go to online support. I wish you great success and will be handing out copies when necessary!

    • yep — won’t get it until July 10 through 17, though. Damned if Im gonna spend more on shipping than on the actual book.

  • Just ordered on Amazon – Congrats! Wish my therapist had this to share with me after Dday but thrilled it is out there now!

  • Congrats! What an achievement!! I wish I found your blog 3 years ago. I would have saved myself more pain and suffering. But better late than never. My situation resolved itself. (He passed away). But…will still buy your book because I love your writing and if I were crazy enough to start dating again I want to make sure I don’t make the same stupid mistakes. Thank you for your words of wisdom and humor!!

  • Just attempted to order from Amazon but I stopped in my tracks when noticed that Amazon wants to charge me $12+ for shipping? What gives?

  • I can’t wait to order your book CL. Thank you for all your help, and to all the other chumps too. This site has been a lifesaver. Still early days for me but reading all the comments here is so helpful. Sometimes I cry because of sadness and other times I cry with laughter! Well done Tracy – a great achievement.

  • I just could not wait. I ordered today….. Thanks Tracy, I like that this is a field guide. People need to get the story from ALL sides. I know when I found this blog it changed EVERYTHING!

    My Mighty tail is wagging!

  • Nice work lady! Excited to read it and perhaps buy copies for others! I really really like your work, your thoughts and this website. Has helped me out a ton. Thank you!

  • Many congrats on the launch Tancy. Wish u all the best.
    But I think I’ll wait for the e-Book, don’t want my cheater to get his hands on it, cuz I’m still stuck with him.
    Need ur prayers n support. I hope the sales go much better than ur expectations. N I have a feeling they will. So once again, good luck to you. N many congrats!!!!
    NYC Chump Meetup Organizer.

  • Congratulations! You are on your way to stardom (tho we know that’s not your intent). Thank you for being our MIGHTY leader!! Can’t wait to buy the book!

  • Thank you in advance for my book which will arrive next Thursday. I am wondering if you’ll be doing the talk show thing to bolster sales???

  • I bought three before I knew about the Amazon thing :-(.

    So naturally, I will buy a forth on Amazon just so I can write a review! Unfortunately I’m sure there will be someone else I need to give one to.

  • Very proud to say I ordered my copy on Amazon 3 hours ago. Can’t wait to buzz through it so I can leave my 5 star review!!! Congratulations CL and a big thank you for all you have done for your followers and now for your “readers”. Yay!

  • CL, you need to show your agent these comments when you meet with her/him if you haven’t already. I hope she talks you into a print edition so that it can reach more people. Get it into!

  • So…maybe you can have a contest, CL, of some diversionary sort, and give us the change to win a SIGNED COPY of your book?

    We knew you way back when….


  • Huge congratulations CL. And, here we thought you were faking work all this time 😉 Wow, how did you write a book while blogging so successfully on so many sites!! Mighty CL.
    I, too, couldn’t wait to buy the paperback. Can’t remember the last time I had something to hold in my hand besides a phone or iPad to read off of. How novel. Yeah, a bit more expensive but what an old tool to have in my happy hands. And, it’s one title I can happily display while reading on the plane or in public. No more hiding this behind my Kindle. Looking forward to it. And, it’s arriving on my b’day!!

  • Didn’t we just have a talk about how you need to make a post every day? Did we not give you enough breakfast ;). Srsly, I am so happy for you!

    PS: Amazon key words, let me know if I need to send you info on this tool. For example, reconciliation should be there

        • I have Prime so shipping is free for me. But the other two sellers I see are shipping it for 3.99. Are you guys in the US?

          • Yes, I’m very much in US and only put 2 books in the Amazon cart so it didn’t qualify for its free shipping with a purchase of $35… I clicked to check out and then noticed the shipping being over $12 and it made me cancel the transaction. No worries, however, as I was planning on adding additional items to get to the $35 amount. I hope it was a temporary glitch on Amazon’s part.

        • I just ordered 3 copies, total cost of books was $37. Shipping was $5.97. I’m in the U.S.

          • Because you ordered 3. Try putting just one in your cart, proceed to check out and see what happens. Let us know what you get on your screen.

            • Okay, just tried ordering one (1) copy, for $12.59. Shipping was only $3.99.

              I have no prime or any other special status.

              FWIW, when you’re on the “Review Your Order” screen there’s a box titled “Place Your Order” that contains in small blue font click-able options for “How are shipping costs calculated?” and “Why didn’t I qualify for free shipping” The latter doesn’t have much info, but the former has a bunch. Might be just a bunch of generic FAQ stuff, but might be worth exploring if you’re getting high shipping costs.

              • If you do order three books, I think you’ll have spent enough to qualify for free shipping on Amazon. But you have to actually click to choose Free Shipping when you get to the order page, because it’s default set to standard shipping. Just fyi. Maybe somebody else has already posted that.

  • Hi Tracy:
    Finally a handbook for chumps! It seems the cheaters all have one so it’s about time we do as well!!! I can only dream that our handbook will make theirs non-existent and stop them in their tracks. I know, I’m a dreamer but hey change starts with one thing at a time and builds.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    I really love what you do as well as your intelligence and that of Chump Nation. It has helped me tremendously when I was chumped and even now that I am at meh as a reminder. Your warmth comes through, even when you cuss like a sailor.

    Awww shucks, you da best Tracy and don’t ever let anyone else tell you otherwise.

    Can’t wait to buy my copy from Amazon next week!

    • Well we have our first hate comment on Amazon!

      The author whips vulnerable people up into a negative aggressive frenzied hate group.

      Very liberal use of profanity and also words that are discriminatory against the learning disabled [eg] “retard”.

      I understand the pain and anger these chumps have experienced- maybe that is the reason behind the toxic need to be right and get their victim status validated unfortunately the chronic use of hostile language sometimes gives the impression she gets a rush out of provoking and is getting a kick out of getting other people going.

      Also people seeking reconciliation are routinely denigrated and ridiculed.

      • CL is: “negative,” “hate,” “discriminatory,” “hostile,” “toxic,” “victim,” “denigrating?” Jeez, Louise.

        So people shouldn’t be so upset about having their family gutted by betrayal, but a potty mouth drives you into Amazon Crusader Jackass mode? I guess your priorities and values are clear for all to see. Whoever wrote that review has apparently had their moral development severely, uh, . . . retarded. It’s a word, you know, and it applies here. Very retarded. Severely retarded. Profoundly retarded.

        Who feels compelled to write a negative review of a book they haven’t read? Effing troll.

        • Perhaps it hits to close to home for them, Nomar? My money is on it was written by a chump in denial who’s either rapidly spackling or is still smoking hopium. My heart goes out to that poor tortured soul- may they wake up soon and taste the good life.

          • My mind immediately though “cheater,” but I think you’re right that it could ver

            • very well be a chump-in-denial. It’s an awful big investment to lose, after all. But to try to numb your own pain by denying the pain suffered by others is just sick.

  • Hi All,

    it is really important for us to review this book.

    On the ONLY book about how to deal with infidelity that is based on truth (and I have bought them all in my Desperate Quest to Save My Marriage), is Dr David Clark ‘I don’t love you any more’.

    It has received one star from a guy who has to be a cheater, who says ‘don’t buy this book which is all about making a cheater tell all his secrets and you must forgive if you want to save your marriage’.
    So if you are able to, favourably review that book, too! I can’t remember my log in details, or I would!

  • Don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but when I ordered my copies of the book a few minutes ago, I saw that the amazon page for the book has a badge on it reading . . .


    How cool is THAT, Chump Nation???

  • I bought two copies! One for me, and one for the next poor Chump I come across…

  • Just bought my copy as well! I think I will leave it behind for the next poor woman who gets moved into my house.
    I don’t get it until Monday so I suppose I’ll have to re-read sTORI Telling this weekend.
    Congrats on your book!! Mighty for sure!

  • When this happened to me I looked under adultery and found nothing. It was very lonely, no category for that.

    Why don’t they add more categories?

  • Congratulations Tracy. I hope you are able to reach ALL of the chumps out there.

  • Ok, if I type chump on amazon the book comes up, pretty cool. Now if I type infidelity or adultery the book does not come up but other books sort of maybe like it do, Tracy can you get your book to come up under those words?

    Am I too pushy? Maybe so.

    Ok, congratulations.

  • Just wanted to pile on with congrats to Tracy! I’m placing my order for multiple copies today (not sure how many I need yet). Will forward the link to my divorce group too for what it is worth. Best of luck Tracy in your success with this book. Based on the reception so far, I hope you are thinking “sequel”!

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