It’s Friday, and it’s time for the latest nonsense on Tori Spelling. (I’m tired, people. I finished my book yesterday. Typesetting done, now working the kinks out. More news soon. I need fluff. Let me write about fluff.)
In a new development, that will come as a surprise to absolutely no one, Dean McDermott is a more of a horndog than previously thought, reports RadarOnline. Did they say there was just one other woman in their reality TV show, True Tori? Emily Goodhand, that singular “mistake”? A little one-night stand? Nah. There were at least five. Moreover McDermott told Spelling about it all months ago in rehab, according to reports. Like, before their reality show was filmed.
But God, how depressing is that narrative? If you’re going to have an opponent in the pick me polka, choose some ghostly nobody that no one has ever heard of (and many suspect doesn’t exist) like Emily Goodhand. Emily was so obliging to fade out of view, unlike other OW, who show up on your doorstep, barge into your house, or at the very least spam your social media.
Tori, I don’t think you’re a chump until you’ve got some batshit crazy OW leaving her thong in your bed and then friending your kids on Facebook. Remember that wing nut Sidney Leathers that Anthony Wiener wienered? Going around on her publicity campaign about what a schmuck Wiener was? Why couldn’t Tori get a bunny boiler like that?
Oh, or worse — one of those other women that marries the cheater and has four kids with him and touts her marital bliss on a reality TV show! Why couldn’t she get a freak like THAT?
No, the writers of True Tori give her Emily Goodgag — the OW who never speaks.
Makes sense really. If all the OW spoke up, it’d be quite a chorus.
“He was forced to finally admit the truth to Tori,” the insider previously said.
“Making matters worse, Dean admitted to not always using protection during the encounters. It’s the ultimate betrayal for Tori and she probably won’t be able to ever forgive him for that. It’s one thing to cheat, but another to have unprotected sex.”
Oh yeah. Horrors. If you’re going to boff five women (and who’s counting really? Can Dean count? How many fingers am I holding up?) not wearing a condom — is that the most unforgivable thing? Isn’t this one of those how-many-cheaters-can-dance-on-the-head-of-a-pin kind of questions? He fucked fifty women, but wore a condom. OMG, that’s much better! We can work with that. So long as there was a tiny sheath of latex between his penis and the 50 women, we can reconcile.
Sure, unprotected sex and cheating is horrible. But it’s what cheater’s DO. Cheaters live in a magical reality without STDs and pregnancy and other bummers. Is anyone surprised by this, except maybe Tori Spelling?
Tori? Sweetheart, you’re not special.
Spelling did address the accusations of bad karma, as both she and McDermott had originally cheated on their respective spouses to be with each other. “What happened was hurtful to other people,” she said, “but you can’t help when you fall in love with someone.”
Later, the ex-Beverly Hills 90210 star, 41, said she felt bad for 47-year-old McDermott¹s first wife, Mary Jo Eustace, however, “I don’t see it as I broke up his marriage, that was his decision.
“I knew he was married and I was thinking this was wrong but we fell in love — there was that connection, it was instant. But I always said at the time, if this should ever happen to me, I don’t think I’d blame the woman. I would blame my husband. I still, to this day, I don’t blame Emily [Goodhand]. I blame Dean completely.”
Yes, Tori, for you and Dean it was love. What he did with those five, six, fourteen (hey, we don’t have an exact count) other women was just meaningless, unprotected sex. Only one woman is heir to the Candi Spelling fortune and has Dean’s heart and that’s you, Tori. Love means never having to use the active voice. “What happened was hurtful to other people,” is the sort of passive voice non-apology reserved for special people like you and Dean. Shit happens. People get hurt. No one’s to blame.
How’s that working for you, Tori?