It’s very odd to be in a room full of bloggers and hear what they blog about. It ranges from the very personal and esoteric, “I blog about my child’s peanut allergy” to the impossibly vague, like, “I blog about sustainability.”
When people ask me, I get one of two reactions. Either “WOW! That’s so cool! Yeah! Cheaters SUCK” — and they dissolve into knowing laughter…
Or they act like I have leprosy.
Perhaps they imagine I’m writing about something shameful like farting. I don’t know. But it’s kind of a similar vibe — uh, that’s a very personal, embarrassing topic. And ewwww.
Today I listened to a man (yes, a man — he must be the only one here) natter on endlessly about cooking duck. Many rather irrelevant personal details about his love of duck and geese and foraging, worked in around basic publishing tips. (Name of his book: “Duck, Duck, Goose.”)
He said, “I am the number one best seller on Amazon for wild game cooking.”
Who knew this was a category? Infidelity is NOT a category. Wild game cooking, however, is.
I spoke to him after his talk about blog-to-book publishing, and he was quite helpful and encouraging really. Except he was underwhelmed by my blog numbers. (I’m quickly closing in on 3 million unique page views.) “3 million a month?” he said. “No, in total,” I said. “Oh,” he said, looking deflated. “Well, that’s solid.”
It’s rather sobering to think you might be getting fewer clicks than the duck cookbook guy. Wouldn’t you suppose there are more chumps in the world than wild duck enthusiasts? I probably need to up my marketing game. But surely I must be doing better than the peanut allergy mommy blogger?
I’m a stranger in a strange land. Tonight my friend Jenn and I (picture above) went to a sangria soiree where the corporate sponsor hired people to stand around and do yoga poses in colorful yoga attire. We were encouraged to take pictures of ourselves in yoga poses and tweet them to win yoga gear. I’m sorry, I’m not downward dogging my middle-aged butt to win a tie-dye tank top. But no one seemed to think this particular party game bizarre.
I guess I haven’t considered corporate sponsorship of my blog. (Do chumps buy more yoga gear?) I felt my brain bending in uncomfortable ways. I’ve known for awhile that my subject matter doesn’t really lend itself to product placement or ad sales (the way most people monetize their blogs). Mommy bloggers have an endless amount of products to shill — but who wants to take me on? People who sell spyware and dating sites, that’s who. I’ve been approached and say no. (My feeling is, if you have to GPS your spouse, it’s over. Don’t waste your money.)
Tomorrow I hope to get my WordPress questions answered and geek out on a keynote luncheon with Tig Notaro, the comedian. And fit in a proper blog post if I can.
If I can’t… send help to San Jose. I may have been abducted by corporate marketeers in yoga pants.