So What Do You Call Them?
This request was in my inbox this morning, and I thought… hmm… I don’t think I’ve asked this question here before. The chump wanted to inquire of Chump Nation what everyone calls the affair partner(s).
Twatwaffle?
Fuck puppet?
Mommy’s Special Friend?
I’ve written quite a bit about how I hate cheater euphemisms like “wayward.” Perhaps it seems juvenile to make up names for the poor idiot who’s taking that cheater off your hands, but I do think snark is therapeutic. Take your power back with humor!
I once referred to the long-term OW in my story as “Poor Alyson. Always a fuckbuddy, never a bride,” because she withstood three marriages as an OW, and apparently was quite keen to get that sociopath to marry her. But really, who was I kidding? It was MUCH worse to be that guy’s bride than his fuckbuddy.
I do know that the name “Alyson” is now forever tainted with psycho associations for me. (Apologies to any sane and decent Alysons out there.) Did the OW or OM’s name fuck that name up for you?
Did you just not give the person (or giant collective) a name because it was too fearful? They Who Must Not Be Named. Like Voldemort?
Did it feel good to give them a stupid name to show, hey, they were NOT that powerful — they were pathetic?
Lay it on me. What did you call them?
Slunt
I can’t take credit for inventing it. I took it from the divorce board on a popular infidelity site. It does make me smile, though!
For the win!
I think that may be the most brilliant euphemism for OW I’ve EVER heard or read. BRAVO!
OMG, “Slunt” is absolutely brilliant. I have just added it to the (long) list of derogatory names I call the OW.
Thank you, that has made my day and will now replace ‘Princess Jolly-Hockey-Sticks’ ( for those not in the UK ‘Jolly Hockey Sticks refers to someone who is a bit posh, trendy, and right on. OW is very much that and STBXH is a critical, self obsessed layabout. Should be interesting. )
I know this post is a little old, but wanted to share my name(s) for the OW.
Troll Hobbit…yep, she’s maybe 5 feet tall, oddly shaped, and bad teeth. I also use Downgrade and, of course, the ever popular, “Whore”.
I can finally laugh at STBXH’s choice to forsake his wife & family for such a pile of vomit. Honestly, I’ve shit prettier things. Anyhoo, I’m enjoying my life & kids, while he is now a jobless, pathetic mess that even Troll Hobbit no longer wants. Karma…such a beautiful thing
I think Princess Jolly Hockey Sticks is pretty awesome.
I am going with Princess Jolly Hockey Sticks from now on. Thanks, Elle, this made my day.
That immoral, boundary less POS.
She would come into my house, admire pictures of my happy beautiful smiling innocent children playing and running on the beach, and then fuck their father in one of our beds. She found out that she was being lied to and used in the end, but she succeeded in helping change innocent people’s lives.
How do you do that. How can she live with herself. How do you hurt people that badly. I will never get it.
I had the same experience Patsey. There was a whole conspiracy of leaders in a birth education organization in my home taking notes. These posers claimed to support new mothers and their children. They had a theory that beginning bonding at birth with having a doula and breast feeding sets up kids for stellar social interactions throughout their lives. When my child was one years old TDH the then president of the board organization and her best friend executive director worked hard to nab my lying husband. She could have had him having known what ex was capable of!
But their charade resulted in my son having to go back and forth each week from mom to “dad.” So hard for him. “Dad” could care less. He just wants to project a “good guy” image and drain love from his child.
If I knew when my son was one I would have left then. These trolls did not think my mother-child bond was all that important. The hypocrisy is profound.
One day I will write an anthology of women’s experiences of motherhood that include my story.
Your nightmare gave you the feeling of respecting your family by marveling at pictures—mine by telling me to trust that they have my and my child’s best interests at heart. All to disarm me from self-protection. I felt sick—seeing her meet with ex to talk about “fundraising” and seeing her in my kitchen to talk about “fundraising” and thought it was just me and the faulty jealousy my ex attributed to me.
We have to get beyond the staggering hypocrisy and damage to create something unique. To become very present and powerful. To embody our dignity and place in this world. We know now what people are capable of. We were burned badly. But we never lost our dignity–as they did, the horror at their actions evidences our connection to others and the empathy we have. Karma is that they have to live with their shit selves. They have to look in the mirror and see the vacant soulless false image every single day. I love who I am and what I can do for my child despite their deliberate destruction of my parental home. They cannot break us—like dust we rise.
I think I will call her “Miss Phenomenal” because she won the Ms. Phenomenal award in Bloomington, IN for her “philanthropy” when she was in the throws of an emotional/sexual affair with shithead-ex. Seriously. I wish I could paste the link. She also blogged about how to take care of yourself when you have two kids! She forgot to mention having an affair! People in Bloomington know. No one in Bloomington cares. She just soooo Phenomenal.
I never thought about her once until I heard about the affair. She is that “Phenomenal.” Your time is coming for major prize winning for the most Phenomenal pathological crazy ass liar.
ugh, Bloomington IN itself is now a ruined association for me, as my Cheaterpants Ex is from there and we used to visit his father and family twice a year. Guess what OW skankwoman went to IU so he told all our friends of COURSE he had so much in common with her! see of course he had to fuck her! I reply (we lived in Syracuse NY) that by that token I should have fucked every man who went to Syracuse University law school cuz we had so much in common, right?? Now – sorry! – I refer to Indiana itself as batter dipped and deep fried because everything his family cooked and ate was!!
Oh yuck. For some people that’s all it takes to shit on other people—a common college. Well, it’s not like they share values of empathy or “do no harm” their love is built on a shared college—-not meaningful at all. I could care less if my significant other went to NYU or IU or whatever-the-fuck U…
I feel badly for visitors of Bloomington who get involved with certain local communities. This small college town is a haven for power hungry individuals to work out their destruction, everyone walks the same blocks, shops at the same stores, visits the same homes each and every day. Some locals feed off each other and target visitors with their platforms of “trust us we are safe/once we are trusted we will suck your blood” behavior.
Big cities are much more humane to me.
I have read your posts TheMuse and feel somewhat comforted by our Bloomington deep fried associations. I do feel “fried” by BABS, but also became intimate with my intuitions and strengthened my voice. I never felt these Bloomington birth fetishizers legit—just mean spirited self-absorbed power hungry women looking to lord it over vulnerable populations because they could. They could care less about mothers and their children.
You can’t get itPatsy, you have a conscience, which is what separates the good from the bad. But I feel you-the Downgrade was a close friend and family member-she’s IN some of the pictures….well…..was…..
Keep faith in the karma bus! And have an extra hug. Trust that they suck, but Chump Nation doesn’t
x-Meh.
The Downgrade. That one is absolutely the best- just slams it.
Sadly, I can’t take credit, my local shopkeeper said it first! But if the shit fits….wear it.
“…if the shit fits, wear it!”
LMAO!
I have several choice names for the OW but my favorite was “fur ball.” She was as worthless and has as much staying power as the fur my dog shed and would blow around my floors and under my furniture. Everyone in my life knew exactly who I was talking about and it helped me remember exactly what a piece of shit (another of my favorite names for her) she is.
Jill.
That is what the ex, my kids, my friends, the clients, her family (who I know), the co-workers and I always called her and who she will always be.
She can have the secret, hidden life with her law partner that she has had for I don’t know how many years.
How she put up with, and continues to put up with, being the OW and having to live with HIM I don’t know and don’t care.
Like taking the money no matter who signs the check from yesterday’s post, her salary supports them so he can pay me…no problem with that!
That name makes me all twitchy.
I love Finding me’s comment above!!!!
Me——l am not very creative—–sorry. I just called her The Whore. Could not bring myself to speak her name. Now, I have changed to calling her The Pig, if I mention her at all. Not worth mentioning…..She and Cheaterpants are history anyway, as she always had 2 or 3 guys at once, and quickly tires of the same ‘ole, same ‘ole……
My cheaterpants, well, I call him Scumbag. (told you I am not creative!)
But, my then daughter-in-law shared the same name as the whore, so I did have to speak the name. Even though I did have a nick name I usually used when referring to or speaking to my d-i-l.
Funny thing—a few years later that daughter-in-law cheated on my son. hmmmm What’s that saying—– “What’s in a name?”
Forge on, Great Nation!!!
ha ha ha! I call the MOW ho-worker the “butterface skank”, she has a really bad skin and she had no problem just being a cum bucket for 3 1/2 years, who from what I heard spent many times on her knees, which included bathroom at work and in cars. I guess those facials didn’t help much with her skin problems lol!
The cheater? well, I call him fuckface, fucktard, dickwad but asswipe is my favorite!
Cum bucket is good too.
Absolutely! Specially in her case! If she gave that many bj’s to her husband as much as she did to my asswipe on demand, I am sure her hubby wouldn’t be so cold and neglectful to her as she had complained to my ex lol!
I didn’t have the time to come up with cute names for each and every one of them, but Darlene….the one he screwed the most, got the title of Skankalina.
He had a thing for skanks. The sluttier the better.
Hey Forge on I couldn’t think of anything else but The Whore. That’s the only word that covers it nicely!
And by the way I was once told by a friend “The Pig” sounds too decent you should change it to “The Hog” 🙂
Think of The Hog rolling in the mud and anytime any of you have a memory relapse think of her/him like that … covered from head to toe … in mud ! Bet it will make you smile.
Yes, Lioness, The Whore seemed most direct & descriptive to me. And, I do like the term “Hog”, ’cause, yea, some little piglets are kinda cute! Hogs, not so much!!!
How about instead of mud, picture them covered in sewage. That is what always comes to my mind when cheating is mentioned, as it is so utterly filthy and revolting!
She has a stupid name, so I just use that. 🙂
I won’t say what it is on this blog, but it’s stupid.
She’s “The Lucky One”. (See Alison Kraus lyrics.)
A woman that suffers no compunctions, moral obligations or boundaries. Have at it little lady. Your day will come.
Ooh! Good one!
I like that.
Mugshot
Because her mugshot ended up on the front page of the paper.
Now that’s classy, he was screwing a local celebrity……priceless
Mine also ended up on the front page with her mugshot! I choose to just call her “The Whore”. Her name has been forever ruined for me….and it was one of the names that my parents ALMOST named me! Ugh!
Casey- HA! Oh oh oh I would have reveled in that moment like none other! That’s a satisfying kick from karma.
Wow! Just………Wow! And this he thought was better than you? (Shaking my head)
the woman my Xh left me for has been in jail several several times. for just about anything and everything. and that is what i think, he thinks she is better then me? wow, blows my mind
The one he finally left for has a rap sheet for fraud. Now that she has discovered that he doesn’t have any money, she has moved on. Her x and I predicted that.
It was hysterically comical, at least to me. I did purchase several copies and left them on the table as he would not leave my house. Consequences of her own actions… arrested for a dui and hit and run. (they both work for the sheriff’s dept, big news in a small town, although he has already moved on to a new gf).
Positive in the respect that my kids got an opportunity to see who their father threw away his family for and what kind of person she is. Which says a ton about their father.
Her name is Sarah, and my ex always says her name in hushed and reverent tones as if she is to be revered. I make sure I always get her name wrong if speaking to him e.g. Tara, Simone etc etc. privately I call her fanny-face or vinegar tits. I call him NARP. Stands for not a real person. I hope they get all the happiness they deserve!
love love the narp….
Seriously funny!!!! Thank you for this!!! Made me laugh so hard.
I never could say OW name. I just couldn’t make myself say it. A friend of mine has the same name as well and I avoided saying it after dday. Recently, now that I am divorced and everyone knows the reason why I’m happy once again, I was with a group of about 10 friends and my friend with the same name was there and she totally understood my problem with her name and we spent the evening drinking wine and trying to come up with an alternate name for my friend!!! We had lots of laughs!!!!
It’s crazy how something as simple as a name can become so difficult!
“Vinegar tits”! Ha! Thanks for the laugh this morning.
HBB – honey boo boo
My stbx took up with his college gf 35 years later. She is from the midwest and he’s lived the life of a preppy east-coaster for 32 years. He comforted her when she was going through her divorce due to her x infidelity. She knew he was married with kids. Why would one woman do this to another???? So honey-boo-boo it is or sometimes horny-boo-boo….
OMG! He comforted her because she was in pain that her ex cheated on her? then she turns around and does this to another woman? WOW! That’s so messed up!
My cheater also fell for a chump who was cheated on by her husband with a woman who has my same name! She used to come to my house for work (with his harem) and made up a nick name for both of them “Solapao” (in Spanish slang) that means
solapado adj (con falsedad) sneaky, evasive adj
underhand, underhanded adj
(private) secretive
(deceitful) two-faced
Just amazing!
“He comforted her when she was going through her divorce due to her x infidelity. She knew he was married with kids. Why would one woman do this to another????”
You’re getting your information 3rd hand through two known liars. Is there any chance Horny-boo-boo is the one who blew up her marriage?
I thought the same thing, Elizabeth Lee.
OW had a long list of offenses about her husband including cheating. He was my 1st call after day & he called B.S. on that!
These folks lie about everything. They know no other way to function without lies & drama.
Good point.
Omg Susan, mine did the exact same thing!!! Ow used hubby to cry on as her hub just cheated on her!!! Mine was called Pat, and was heavy, so I called her FAT PAT!
I’m 3 yrs out, we are still struggling…
~ Susan
Yeah, one of the woman who sleept with my X was seeking revenge after learning her husband had fathered an illegitimate child… Total loser, she stayed with her husband for the money, but was perfectly fine with screwing mine and smile to me afterward.
“He comforted her when she was going through her divorce due to her x infidelity. She knew he was married with kids. Why would one woman do this to another????”
Wow, Susan, that’s the million-dollar (in alimony) question. We always talk about how people who haven’t been chumped don’t and maybe even can’t ‘get it.’ But this woman was a chump herself, so surely she would have known how soul-crushing an experience it is! The impact on the kids. The whole life infrastructure/sense of reality. The loss of hope and trust so many things and in so many ways.
To have gone through all that and still be able to willingly inflict it on someone else? Wow. Just, WOW.
You are assuming that this woman was deeply in-love with the man who cheated on her, which isn’t necessarily the case. What she did do was throw herself at a married man, which leads me to believe she was with her husband for reasons that have nothing to do with love. She was able to use it to her advantage for drama, and to be the center of attention at the pity party. Makes her the most despicable kind of cheater.
I think there are some people who are just attracted to drama. They love being the center of attention because they’re in “crisis,” so they purposely sabotage themselves or others just so they can swoosh into the room and demand that everyone listen to them and sympathize with them. “Oh, you think YOU’VE got problems! Blah blah blah…” I think that attracts people to infidelity– it’s exciting and dramatic to them, and even if they’ve been cheated on before (which has its own sort of terrible “excitement” that they can use to get attention), they are such whores for attention that they compartmentalize. “Well, what my ex did to me was reprehensible, but what I’m doing is DIFFERENT. It’s true love/meant to be/his wife is a harridan/yada yada yada.”
I hate drama. I always have. I’d venture to say that most of us on here are laid-back, well-adjusted people who are nice to those around us and just want our lives to be pleasant. Think about the cheaters you know. The ones I know are total drama queens who love it when everyone in the room is listening to and watching them. Ex-cheater is a professional musician, so maybe that’s where some of his “look at me! pay attention to me!” behaviors are rooted. Or he’s just an asshole. 🙂
Mine likes to think he’s a professional musician. Always new, hip, cool and ‘metal’. Always with the groupies. Apparently he used to tell the hot ones that his profile on the band’s page showed married because it kept away the fuglies and the fatties. Not because he was actually married… or in a ltr, like the 8yrs we were together before getting married.
What jackasses.
Know how you feel, MovingOn
MO, I agree with you, there seems to be some sort of “aliveness” to Drama Queens (and maybe Kings too?) that is an attractive draw in some way. I also agree that we Chumps are more level-headed, know who we are, don’t need a bucket load of attention. etc. I remember my husband told me the Ho-Bag told him she threw her shoe across the room when she called and wanted to see him & he was busy with work. I wondered why he was telling me that, and then I realized he must think that is cool, exciting. whatever. It sound immature and unattractive to me….guess I am boring.
Very well said. Never been a fan of drama kings and queens. Always just wanted to get along with people and enjoy my life as much as I can, like most people. When there’s a narc in the room it really spoils the mood.
or your ex is both! 😉
I think the latter. And I believe that this is what the Whore’s issue is also. I cannot count the number of selfies on her FB there are and she was cheated on twice from what I have heard. She is an attention deprived slut and lives on drama. So it did not bother her to participate in helping chump another woman. She is a narcissistic slut bag with little personality and fake boobs. She is a fucking fucktard.
And she continued to believe his lies even after I contacted her and my daughter wrote her a letter calling her out. She must be evil!
FMT I think you and I are on the same wave length this AM.
Wrinkles… affair partner was 25 years older than I am and I was already older than useless arse face.
I called the Married OM Wrinkly Balls, since he is 13 years older than me, and looks his age….. Also, it was great in the Adam Sandler movie Big Daddy!
It morphed into WB for short…..as in “how’s WB doing?”
Good one!
Mine was 10 years older, I call her the old skank that lived in a shoe, cause she has 5 kids and left their dad for my 45-year old frat boy STD-carrier ex. He dumped her of course, but that is still her name as far as I’m concerned.
Whore.
I realize that’s hackneyed, but it’s true. I signed her paychecks, so she was paid to be my ex’s exclusive sexual consort. I have no problem referring to her as such in communications with the ex because I know it drives him crazy. As much smack as was talked about me, that’s the one thing they can’t say is true of me.
She has a white trash name (see the movie Ted). If I have to actually refer to her in the first person, I always make sure to add the -Lynn after it.
My X’s skank has a white trash name according to the movie “Ted” as well.
same here! her first and middle name as well lol!
Like so:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaAn48eX9SM
Hahaha! El Swine-o’s first OW was a low rent slut with a white trash name also. I referred to her as Whiskey Tango.
Perfect!
I was thinking it was Bobbi-Lynn,but it wasn’t. You’ll have to watch it.
haha. i was thinking whore-lynn
My ex’s affair partner had the same name (and birthday!) as me, but went by a nickname of it. Whenever people call me by that nickname, my blood pressure skyrockets.
The Potato my husband settled for (Craigslist solicitations, on-line chat rooms, blah, blah, blah) and promptly moved into his townhouse (somebody has to pay the bills) shares her birthday with our wedding anniversary. Pretty classy huh? Oh well, she can celebrate my anniversary and call herself the lucky one until the cows come home. Live-in, girlfriend, fiancé-to-be, stepmother (yeah, how about slut-mother…) the lucky one (HA), whatever makes her vinegar tits hard is fine with me. She is THE ONE he has been searching for. She calls it “true love,” I call it a TRAP! When she finds herself gnawing her foot off to make her escape maybe then she will realize that choking on a toenail was her best option all along.
in private – Shithead. Simple and to the point
In public I use her name, but rarely.
Her last name is appropriate. Think of what you would say when someone vomits on the sidewalk, ewwwww, g_____!!!!! Yep, that’s her last name. I use that too.
Of course, now that I’m meh about the whole thing, I can use both their names freely in full sentences and discuss them with my children in an unfortunately humorous way.
Oh, the webs we weave…
Chilean Puta – she is/was a ho-worker of my eventually-to-be X’s when we lived overseas for his job. They kept it up even after we left – found out this past January about her and all the other sex partners during 13 years of sleeping around while I stayed home with kids in my 15 year sham marriage. Haven’t said it out loud yet (still in the extracting myself from this stupid marriage stage) but love to think it when I’m feeling down or pissed off.
BAM, I wasn’t going to say mine, but you went there first! Mine was from “another country” where quite a few of these seem to come from and I called her his “Beaner Baby.” I hope that no Chumps were harmed in the making of this name, it just fit.
Manhole…
Just for fun., here’s Webster’s definition:
Manhole: a small covered opening in a floor, pavement, or other surface to allow a person to enter, especially an opening in a city street leading to a sewer.
Yep… Leading to a sewer…
Awesome!! Love it!! That’s the way I usually describe cheating—–Swimming in the sewer!
So, new name in my vocabulary! Thanks, Nadine!
PS: Also, the fact that is in a city street. Gets lots & lots of traffic!! ;0
Nadine I LOVE it… Best one yet. All are enjoyable….
Lots of LMAO over here.
Awesome! Adding this to my favorites!
brilliant!
Just luv it !!
Twinkie, because it sounds totally disrespectful without actually cussing which I would not do around my kids at the time.
She showed up at an open Alanon meeting which I was chairing, sat right next cheater S.H….(shithead!)) and proceeded to put her hand on his knee, snuggle in close and give me the evil eye. I decided I would conduct myself as a lady, did not bat an eye and proceeded to conduct the meeting. Everyone was looking at the three of us with a WTF look, but all I could do was be the classier one. Afterwards I went into the bathroom, cried for 5 minutes, splashed some cold water on my face, and went out to the car. They were saying their goodbyes on the porch. I walked right past. When he got in the car, I turned to him and said “You want her, you got her! Lets go home and pack your shit!” He was all …..wait a minute, wait a minute….I need some time to make up my mind!. Told him he had three days. During that three days I got on with life….going to nursing school, working full time nights, taking care of two kids, and the house. Him I ignored. Unfortunately, he picked me. She eventually dumped him because he wasn’t making enough money to suit her. he moved on to Twinkie # 2.
Do I know how to pick em or what! (Gag)
I give you a lot of respect. What a lady.
Tessie, I am in awe that you held your head high through that horrible experience. I’m afraid I’d have come unglued!
Dear God, you shouldn’t have given him three days, but just sent him packing to her… for a life of Twinkie-ness. Fitting seeing as he loves cake.
The Pig
I’m mean person… I called the latest one The Little C#m Dumpster That Could. She’s in an open marriage with her husband and took it upon herself to try to open up my marriage (without my knowledge of course). She’s made her way through every male in our social circle and I didn’t give a dang (all were single or in open arrangements) until she made it clear that I’m a prude for not wanting to share.
I also used that name. Jizz-slurping Cumdumpster, but Cumdumpster for short. I have gotten very lucky that I don’t know anybody else that also has her first name, but I know several with spelling variations of Shit-for-Brains’s real name.
How about Roto-Rooter — if she’s all about opening things up?
Drano also works.
Draino, I love it!!! It’s a bit better than mine too because I can say it in polite company.
Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
I just called her “the hoe” and yes, her name is forever taunted. Unfortunately for me, it’s a very popular name and I cringe every time I hear it.
For a long time, I couldn’t say her name. Now I call her by her name. He wants to forget all about her, but I won’t let him. He had 5 years to tell her to take a hike. He didn’t want to then, and he’s going to have to live with it now.
One messed up thing about it: During the A, I was writing a book and my protagonist’s name was hers.
Yeah, when I communicated with Jackass, I always use her first name and her married name (although on social media she uses her maiden and married names hyphenated). He first knew her as a very young girl, and by her maiden name, so I always wanted to remind him that she is, indeed, married. Only one time did her EVER use her name, and then to call her “my friend V—-.” When he communicated with me, he pretended she didn’t exist.
There are so many but the two I use most are Granny Anal and Drifty. The first is an abbreviation of one of her porn movies. (Granny porn – just drips with class (among other things, I’m sure)). The second is a nickname she was given over 20 years ago at by a coworker when we all worked together. It has a derogatory meaning and most people we worked with called her that, behind her back (childish, yes, but we were in our late teens, early 20s) which shows you how she was regarded at that workplace. My ex would still call her that up until the time he was in twu luv with her, then he started calling her by her boring, regular name.
“Granny Porn”??? Is that what I’m imagining it to be? Seriously f*cked up.
I know! I didn’t know it was a thing until I discovered Granny A’s past activities. She was mid 40’s when she filmed them which apparently makes you a senior citizen in the porn world.
That is too funny and pretty gross.
TwatWaffle. Forever and for always!
I’m a big fan of TwatWaffle!
TwatWaffle is one of my favorites from this site. It makes me giggle every time I read it.
I called her *The Ankle*…..which is two feet lower than a you-know-what. **The name we can’t say here.
I call them all “Temporary.”
I eventually had to go to a numbering system.
Pink cow as he met her on fb playing FarmVille. She was the pink cow that wandered onto his field.
Whoremistress or super snatch whoremistress either way
This is easy….
I call her by her initials: EZ
(She must be eeeezzzeee since she was married, too)
And now that she married my Ex, her initials are: EZR
He thinks it’s petty that I call her that, but it is apropos.
EZR HA!!!!
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!
LOL!!!!
The first one was Rebecca Sleazy because her last name happened to rhyme nicely with that. The one he left with (who apparently is no longer with him) is whorenado or Trek Whore – where every man has gone before. But I am liking manhole from Nadine above. The one he is with now (betraying my daughters by fucking their friend’s mom) is Pattycakes. And he is fucktard thanks to this site. 🙂 although a friend of mine calls him “anorexic howdy doody” because he lost way too much weight and changed his hair style to something from the 50s.
Trek Whore – where every man has gone before…
Oh I love it!!!
Meh, the woman my ex had teh affair with is named Sue Stein, she is an elementary school teacher in Fairfax, Virginia. She lives on Hobsons Choice Loop in Manassas, VA – and I found her address to be a perfect description…
Hobsons Choice (noun): a choice of taking what is available or nothing at all
I laughed so hard when I saw the address, heh.
My ex’s wifestress is also a school teacher: but middle school. The weird part is he thinks that made cheating with her special. I thought it made it gross.
My XH’s slunt is also an elementary school teacher. I’m hoping she gets to read her favorite book to her students this year (with apologies to Dr. Seuss):
“Horton Hears a Ho”
Believe it or not the other night (this week) I read about a poll that was taken I think it was by “Cheater’s” the show that said that the most common cheater job category for women is teaching, and for men it is the IT guy position. It said do not underestimate the geeky IT guy! Funny, never would have suspected either!
Hahaha, this is rather fitting then, since he met “Vinegar Tits” (got this name from a programme in the 80’s) on a teacher graduate course.
Yup read the same thing. My cheating ex wife is a elem teacher.
Hobson’s Choice…that is AMAZING.
That’s spectacular!
Mine had a name. Ashley. I now hate that name. When I was going through the divorce and looking for a new house, there was a really nice one on an Ashley street my realtor wanted to show me. Um, no thanks. Don’t want that name in my return address. Kind of ruined Gone With the Wind for me too, and I won’t go in Ashley Furniture to shop any more. When someone is introduced to me and their name is Ashley, I have a hard time not sneering. Hopefully it will get better with time. I’m sure there are some perfectly good people out there with that name. Recently there was a radio segment about people who named their daughter Isis. They were asking if the president could please call Isis the terrorist group by another name. They said about 1000 people in the US had that same name and now a lot of them are getting teased or bullied. I would like to suggest we rename the terrorist group Ashley.
It’s interesting what kinds of associations are made. I know that OW has decided to embrace the television show, Doctor Who. I’ve enjoyed that show for decades, but Schmoopie sees herself as Clara and STBX as Matt Smith’s Doctor. This is absurd, of course. Unfortunately, it’s spoiled Doctor Who for me. I plan to retake that once I’m divorced.
OW also sees herself as Emma, from Once Upon a Time. Again, this is absurd. However, I’ve never really liked that series.
Or you could look at it this way…….OW is so lacking in having a personality of her own, she has to “borrow” a mixture of personalities from fictional characters. How pathetic is that?
Yeah, it is pathetic. That’s another reason she’s Schmoopie. In her own mind, she’s an assertive career woman, a sexual dynamo, a Siren. In fact, she tries to fuck her way into management positions, has the reputation of a slut, and looks like an overweight 40-something trying to dress like a 20-year-old.
I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one that hates the OW’s name. I recently met a new friend who has the same name and I cringe when I say the name. I also hate white Hyundai’s because that’s what the furball drives.
For me it’s not the name, but the car the OW drives, which ex-shithead also drives. I’m in a small town and they live nearby so I see it quite often. Also it’s a very popular model and color in my part of the country. I used to love this car and almost bought one myself. EVERYBODY seems to have this car! So it gives me a little mini-trigger whenever I see this car, either the one belonging to them or others – which is pretty much all the time.
Butt slut. Because, according to my ex, she enjoys anal sex. I enjoy knowing that now she’s stuck with two sore assholes.
classic…simply classic… hahaha!
Hahahaah! I forgot that also for the LT MOW. I wish them both some nasty prolapsed orifices.
Nothing too creative – Pig whore – mainly because she has a very round face and truly a turned up, wide nose – so it fit…if I didn’t feel badly lumping pigs into the same category with her.
pig face for me! first time I saw her face with that fat turned up nose, it was pig face or ms. piggy, but i laughed my ass off at manhole!!!
In general, I refer to them as Fuckbuddies, because that’s what they are.
As for the paid sex workers, I consider them working women. My cheater is the whore.
The decade long fuckbuddy has a name like a Craig’s list hook up, and it’s spelled like one too. Maybe for her, because she’s such a fucking hypocrite I call her the Jesus-lovin’, porno star, lipstick wearin’ 200 lb pig (ironically she sells Mary Kay crap and you’ve heard what they say about lipstick on pig….it’s STILL a pig!), married 50shades of makin’ bacon hag (yes, the two assholes acted out those tomes -barf).
That’s all.
I called her whorehole.
I call her his girlfriend when I talk to him about her, although he says they ended it the same month that he filed for divorce. They co-workers for a large company and she is the VP of Humam Resources, that still chaps my ass, and I am still a chump.
Oh, it just flashed on me — new nickname for the ex: WhoreLord
I call him Doofus. I initially used the term “girlfriend” and have now switched to the “affair partner”. I like using precise language that accurately describes the relationship. It’s more clinical. He initially denied he was in a relationship. Now he is denying that that the affair started prior to our legal separation. When describing the kind of person she is . . . well let’s say that she has the morals of a feral cat. Interesting that I also cannot bring myself to use her given name.
nah, even a feral cat would have more morals than these skanks!
My Ex Wife is known as “Sparkles”… because she is driven by flash and sparkly shit and has no depth. Her OM#3 and Exit affair partner is known as “Glittery Glenn”…not as crude as I would like, but apt!
My stbx is known as fuckhead. I had his name changed in my phone, and have the font size large, so when my daughter (23) and I were at a restaurant
having drinks, The nice waiter comes over and sees my phone flashing
fuckhead, fuckhead… and he just says ummm, ok… and starts laughing!
I have a friend who put in for her cheating spouse DO NOT ANSWER when the phone rang this is what showed on the screen.
Not gonna give too much away, but OW rhymes with ‘tawdry’. Sometimes I cal, her cock-juggling thunder cunt, but her best nickname was given by the guy in my local shop. ‘The Downgrade’.
As to my cheater-it could only be Mr Fab, short for ‘Mr Fabulous’, which makes me think of that scene in the Blues Brothers in the cheesy hotel, wearing burgundy velvet tuxedos. Suits him.
Not mine I’m afraid but I was always rather fond of
Twinkle Twat
and
Fucktard
I have a string of choice words that I use to refer to wasband, including Smegma and Fuckstain
Not that I give them much thought anymore…
I love Wasband!!
She has a common first name, and now whenever I meet a new person with that name, it makes me cringe.
Her gigolo. Or her man-whores. Or her boytoys.
Also, bar trash.
I say, “What’s His Name…you know the third guy.” That way she’s put on the spot to come up with the name of either the third guy I know about or the actual third guy! I do enjoy to see her squirm.
Names I still cringe to are: Ron, Steve, Jim, Joe, and Adam.
GGRRRRRRR.
My favorite from this site was the the fellow (help me out) who calls his ex Groceries and the AP Chainsaw Man. I giggle every flippin time!
I stole Schmoopie and HoWorker from this site. My ex is just The Cheater, or 3X Bleach Blob Undershorts, or Romeo McMedicare.
It was Baci from Down Under.
Yes, Baci. Always appreciated his insight. I hope his boys are doing well.
Yep, Baci called his XW “Groceries,” and the OM “Chainsaw Man.” I think Baci’s a bit closer to Meh, so good on him. I do miss him, though.
I think that was Michael D….haven’t heard from him in awhile.
Yeah, I miss him!
Me, too.
Twatcakes..
My marriage fell apart due to my EX frequesnting massage parlors 3 times a week, I never knew any of their names (I referred to them as “Hookers” – and he would say “They are licensed massage therapists!”) but my EX was also engaged in EAs with several women. One he was grooming and positioning in case I decided to divorce his ass. So, I decided to divorce his ass and 2 days later the 2 of them are involved (she is married with 2 young children). I call her the new gin and tonic. She’s just the new flavor. She will eventually “choose her children” over him and he’ll go running back to the massage parlors.
The bigger issue for me is that my Ex’s first name is the same as my last name. Example: I’m FL Bright. He would be Bright Cheaterpants. I was 37 when we got married and have name recognition in my field, so I never took his last name (Thank God!). I’ve seen some of the great names used here and I LOVE seeing them and laughing at them, I’ve never really found one that felt right for him. I’ve decided he is not worthy of my name so I mostly call him “Mr. (Last Name)”. I haven’t had the opportunity to use it to his face (NC ROCKS!) but if ever that is necessary, I like that is purports a formal distance and lack of familiarity, and to others it will sound, perhaps, polite. He’ll hate it.
I refer to the big one that started the Troubles as “The Professional Masturbator” but only because she masturbates men for a living as a body rub provider and I like to be precise in my language. Hey, I read the Four Agreements. She’s a whore, too, but whores and the men that love them get so offended when you actually call someone a whore. They’re a testy little group.
The latest and last OW I call his “Latest Lady Enabler” or “The Mother of my Husband’s Child”. She has a really dumb first name too.
I rarely speak of any of the OW anymore. As a dear friend reminded me, they are utterly inconsequential.
Doop – As long as we are naming things, I like “The Troubles”! I’m so stealing that one 🙂
I’m happy to share…it’s an efficiency tool. You’ll save so much time not having to recount the horrors!
In some weird way I kind of wish I had a way to give a “name” to the many prostitutes, strangers, craigslist people, sugarbabies, etc. that in some way provided my STBX with cake. I feel like it might help me direct my anger or something. I can’t even feel superior over these people, because I never saw them and don’t know anything about them. I can’t watch them screw up their lives and my STBX’S life, or watch the relationship crash and burn. It’s just nameless shadows that apparently flitted through my life that I can’t pin down. Of course in some ways this is very good, because I fortunately don’t have to deal with the mental pictures torturing me, or the constant reminders, the way so many chumps have to.
BUT, I do have a great name for the STBX…I changed his name to this in my phone so if he tries to break NC it gives me a laugh.
“Emotional Chlamydia”
I’m lucky that he never gave me actual chlamydia, but he sure did emotionally.
I would love to rename him on my phone! Can’t due to having to keep records of his stupid texting. But let me add this to my “someday” list. 🙂
Chumpty couldn’t you rename him and then if you needed to take screen shots or something of the phone, just change it back for that purpose? Just a thought 🙂
Can we collectively refer to your Ex’s whores/strippers/sugar babies/etc as “the Destinies” or “the Desirees”? No offense of your name is Destiny or Desiree, just thinking of a nice classic name that I affiliate with that particular strata of society.
Doop-you are far too kind in reference to these hookers-er-‘working women.’ I prefer guttersnipes as it refers to the lowest class of people. But then if it weren’t for these middle-aged cheating fucktards we married, they wouldn’t have any business! I sometimes wonder what these so called workers really think about clients…….
My stbx is a bald 45 yr old who thinks he’s hot shit cuz he can buy underage asian strange pussy on the side. I guess in his mind he thinks they really like him. Whatever.
Current, your stbx must be my xh’s brother! Ditto!! Did he start admiring himself in the mirror all the time & have special silky boxers he wore only to ‘appontments’? His whore drawers, I liked to call them.
No whore drawers for my stbx-but he has come home occasionally with his underwear miraculously on inside out………
Of course he has no idea how that happened during the day! Ha Ha! Guess he wants me to believe that after 17 years that he now is starting to strip naked to take a crap like George from Seinfeld?
My ex. came home once with lipstick on his collar and perfume on his dress shirt. I so wish I had sent those drawers to a forensic lab to see what all was in them. He is pushing 50 and he has married a foreign-born Asian “woman” who is also in her 40’s (and looks it) but who he pretends is hot stuff. He is busy re-living his teen years except this time with money. He met our young adult kids tonight and he and the OW rolled up in a rented hot rod. Oh, did I mention I think he has Bipolar II? He’s a real piece of work. That “woman” has no idea what she signed up for. I bet she is counting down the days until she gets her U.S. citizenship so she can dump his sorry ass.
That’s awesome DG! My stbx is also a fan of the porn, asian massage parlors, craigslist etc. so there is no particular other person to name . I call him iPhone F’cker and Porno King. And the massage parlors are now asian hooker palaces. It is still upsetting to me driving around to see how many of these places there really are. Ugh! I know my son ‘s next step mom is going to be a barely legal asian sex worker!
Talk about two triggers….craigslist and iPhones. Must be standard issue for SAs. I still hate iPhones! Wish I had creative name for ex….just call him asshat.
These are triggers for me as well.
Ha ha ha ha ha…”Emotional Chlamydia”.
Thanks for this. My Mr. Cheaterpants was into massage parlors, phone sex, pornography. I feel sorry for anyone who has to jerk off men 15 or more times a day, five or more days a week, 52 weeks in a year to survive on this planet. I compare it to having to pluck chickens for Foster Farms. To me that would be hell.
I have no idea who else he was with, but if I see him with someone, all I will see is a desperate man into pathetic sexual connections and his new victim.
yes, I used to think working / living in a cubicle 9+ hours a day was hell. but you are right. not trading for this pro. no.
the village bicycle. (h’s name)’s acquired brain injury. the white trash downgrade. trailer tits. miracle vagina. corporate cocksucker (she likes men for whom she works). the overly-social worker. colleen the country cunt. catfish (all mouth, small brain). typing tourettes (prolific communicator, grammatically challenged). ass zit. fast food, because she’s cheap, ugly and has no lasting value. cargo pants, since she went to big meetings wearing them, to the embarrassment of everyone. she likes to be with 2 men from the same family at the same time, but i haven’t come up with something for that yet. as for h, he’s just a dumbass dick. wow, that felt good, like drinking a green smoothie. thanks chumps!
This is my story too. My whore is married to one brother but lives with the other brother. She has kids by both of them so her kids are brothers and cousins? She sleeps with anyone, apparently everyone but her husband? I don’t know what to call her? I don’t think there is a name for such a sick twisted person and I am still so ashamed my husband messed with trash like that.
Oh my, she has kids with both of them? Those poor children, and I’m so sorry *you* have had to endure that. You really are better off being out of that family- seriously.
Yea it is just sick all around but I’m not out of this marriage yet still working on that because all our money seemed to disappear while he was having his affair and all the bills were so far behind! But things have recently started falling together so hopefully not much longer. But she did move out of the neighborhood not long after the truth came out so at least I have not had to see or run into her!
jezebel? biblical. like sleeping with your husbands brother…. usually in the Bible though, they wait ’till he’s passed.
My X’s OW also bedded both him and his brother. I mean, how disgusting- If that’s not the biggest red flag of a creepy sewer-infested soul, I don’t know what is.
the best part was she wrote the whole story in an email to my h, swearing him to secrecy. “Please affair partner/married man don’t tell anyone I left my first marriage for my husband’s brother – it’s embarrassing!” But she swore him to secrecy, not me, so I tell everyone.
As do I- that particular twist is extra disturbing. In my case, my X knew his brother was already sleeping with the pathetic thing, and he set his sights on her anyway- making him extra creepy too. And now he’s lost both a wife and a brother, along with the respect of most of his family.
BroHo.
just went on iCloud and changed her name in his contacts. Immensely juvenile, but I’m punchy and pissed today.
How about Philadelphia, city of brotherly love. 🙂
oh that’s rich. She did leave her first husband for his brother, so it’s spot on. And icky. Perfect! Deep reverent bow to you C-diddy. You rock.
Schmoopie.
I know her real name, but Schmoopie feels snarkier without being crude. She is stereotypically white trailer trash. Pregnant at aged 18, married baby daddy, divorced baby daddy (according to her he was an asshole, but hey! child support!), married some other stooge, divorced him (apparently another asshole), had at least one or two married boyfriends before STBX, drinks too much, and goes out to bars where she drinks too much and goes for one-night stands. She let her daughter’s boyfriend live with them, and then was all angry when daughter got pregnant.
She’s 5’3″ and about 210 lbs of divine sex goddess/waif in need of protection from the cruel world. She spends money as if there’s no tomorrow.
I like calling her Schmoopie because it sums her up.
Him? When I’m not referring to him as STBX, I think of him as “that mother-fucking-sonofabitch,” with only minimal apologies to the memory of his late mother, who was chumped by her husband but stayed in the marriage anyway. In a lot of really weird and twisted ways, I think he is getting back at his mommy for being weak.
Yeah, I’m still pretty angry.
I call her Pasta whore. She dated/slept with my cheater douchebag’s best friend before moving onto douchebag and the fact that hanging out with both men now doesn’t seem to phase her, proves to me her whorish nature (and how shameless the men are too). In addition to speaking Italian, the night she and douchebag mind-fucked, she told him how she could make homemade pasta…..douchebag always told me he didn’t really like pasta dishes.
For awhile, my enthusiasm for eating Italian food diminished. But, I’m happy to say I got over it with my first bite of pesto (douchebag hates pesto)
Child Whore, as she was quite literally barely of age, right out of college and working for X as a waitress (before promoting her to his assistant for easier access to banging her without suspicion at the country club he managed).
I couldn’t hear, much less utter her name without cringing and it stuck early on. This became a point of contention with both the X (I won’t listen to you talk about her that cruel way- LOL) and in-laws (let’s not be so vulgar please!). Now that I’m much closer to meh, this all makes me laugh. What’s vulgar and cruel is “what” you both are as human beings, not how I refer to it. And by the way, whore is not defamatory given it is the very description of what you are.
As for X, my bro-in-law and I renamed him Waldo. After months of gaslighting and false reconcilliation, I GPSed his ass (legally, as I owned the car) for proof that he was still full of shit.
We enjoyed some much needed laughs at the time tracking Where’s Waldo today? as we watched him go to strip clubs (“I was at work all day”), to visit Child Whore at her mothers because of course, child whores still live with their mom at times (“I was out with the guys”) and on and on and on.
Since my Stbx is a pornsturbating, pud pulling jackoff, I named him and his little organ. Gollum and his precious……. I was on another site for partners of porn addicts and he PAID for a subscription with a woman’s name so he could troll. He found out what I was calling him. Hahahahahaha!!!!! I had to leave the site, which brought me here. There were a great bunch of gals there, but their privacy bad been compromised, so I left. I love chump nation ! I also alternate between fucktard, Mr Wonderful, pud puller, cum monkey, slick Willy and his wee Willy. Oh, and the standard fucktard,manipulative asshole, jerkoff sob. 🙂
How awful to have to leave a support group because the person who necessitated your being there in the first place infiltrated! That’s an incredible violation. Sad to say it’s in keeping with what you’ve told us about your ex. So sorry, irish.
Gollum & his precious!!!
LOVE THIS!!
I can just picture stbx doing his pornsterbating with that creepy little voice!!
LOL!!
My PI asked me what I ever saw in my ex, he said he looked like Saddam crawling out of his hole. I’ve called him Saddam ever since.
“Gollum and his precious”!!!!!! Hahahahahaha!!!! Love it!
LOL. Love it.
After I informed friends that I had no interest in even hearing his name or whether he was happy or miserable(yay for NC), one of them named him, “Lord Voldemort”
So “You-Know-Who”, “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named” and “The Dark Lord” also stuck.
:~D
Yep. Meh is good
I just call him a POS. To myself, I have a different one, but it’s racially insensitive and I know it’d be wrong to use it. It’s taking time, but I know that she didn’t choose him because of his ethnicity, she chose him because of what she lacks in morals and boundaries and what she has an abundance of: selfishness and a craving for attention.
The thing that really bothered me in our short reconciliation was she’d always refer to him by a shortened version of his name, which he used to make himself to sound really cool. It just made me realize how intimate their relationship had become (versus what she confessed to) and how little empathy she had for me.