Boy that was some DEEP cake you guys served. Over 400 comments and they’re still coming!
Every submission was so absolutely appalling, it was hard to choose! (How’s that for a cake metaphor?) So in proper cake spirit, I didn’t just pick one winner — I picked three! Yum, yum cake!
(If I was really cake-y, I’d make the contest go on indefinitely so you could all do the pick me dance.)
The winners are…
Her: “If anyone can get past it and save our marriage, it’s you. [The Other Man] and I talked about it and I want to give our marriage another try.”
I liked the sheer audacity of the Other Man weighing in on the viability of the marriage, plus the backasswards “compliment” of “If anyone can get past it and save our marriage, it’s you.” I know you can dance pretty and the Other Man agrees with me!
When I think of Scott’s ex, I think of one of those bobbled-headed parade characters — how does she manage with the weight of that much conceitedness? Does she have assistants buttressing her inflated head, holding invisible ropes so she doesn’t topple over?
Scott, you win a book and a cartooned cupcake… although I might add a bobble head.
The OM told me it was okay to give you this prize. We discussed it and if anyone can accept this gift, it’s you.
Still a Chump!
“She’s really nice and you would really like her. She’s offered to babysit our kids so we can have a date night!”
And from her, about 3 weeks post D-Day:
“You should quit whining and focus instead on your kids and your husband, who is willing to work with you to fix your marriage.”
Aren’t they the thoughtful couple?
I liked OW as service providers for chumps. Another submission (soo close) was the OW could get the abandoned family an apartment because she had good credit. But SaC wins for the one-two punch of the OW as babysitter PLUS the OW as marriage counselor, chastening SaC to be grateful for her family.
Pick me dance? The OW will facilitate it and watch the kids so we can have date night! She’s THAT invested in keeping cake alive!
Just WOW, Still a Chump. You win a book with a big ass cartoon cupcake.
“Some of the greatest love stories contain a divorce…”
This was an entire genre of cake — the “you can date me after we divorce” phenomena. Yet, the insanity is so perfectly summed in this statement: “Some of the greatest love stories contain a divorce…”
Yes, divorce is just a stumbling block on the road to greater cake. It’s just all part of beautiful tapestry of cake. How heroic the cheater sees himself, holding forth this vision of noble love — you’ll come back to me Kelli! Cake will still live!
Kelli’s ex — yes, some of the greatest love stories DO contain a divorce. She divorces that sorry ass cheater and then finds her great love.
Kelli, you win a book and cartooned cupcake!
Thanks for playing everyone!