Christie Brinkley vindicated?

Several alert chumps sent me the recent schadenfreudalicious tidbit that Christie Brinkley’s ex-husband’s ex-wife publicly apologized to her.

Huh? What?

Christie Brinkley, former super model, divorced Peter Cook in 2008 for his affair with an 18-year old. (He has a teenage daughter with Brinkley.) The guy is a notorious horn dog. Among other salacious details, the New York Post reports:

[Cook] cheated on her during their 12-year marriage with a teenager and engaged in an Internet porn habit alleged to have cost $3,000 a month. Then he blamed Brinkley, in a postdivorce TV interview with Barbara Walters, for driving him into the arms of a younger babe — because she didn’t pay enough attention to him.

But apparently, his next wife, Susan Shaw, thought things would be different with her. There’s a special kind of mental gymnastics that goes along with marrying an admitted cheater. It’s the spackle known as: Things Will Be All Very Different for you.

How are they different? Well, you don’t suck like the last wife sucked.

See, if you buy this notion that We Make People Cheat, then you feel immune to history repeating itself. All you have to do is not suck like the first wife sucked, and believe the narkles (narcissist sparkles) that you’re Very Special and voila! Immunity!

Brinkley tried to warn Shaw.

“When you find out he’s been cheating on you, I’ll be here for you.”

Shaw told Brinkley to “come up with a new line.”

I’m sure no one is surprised that guess what! Susan Shaw isn’t special. And to her credit she’s now publicly eaten crow.

“What I say here is by my own volition. I truly feel it’s simply the right thing to do. I’m deeply sorry for my part in causing Christie any unnecessary pain,” Shaw writes.

“Unfortunately, I fell under Peter’s spell, but now that the reality of who he is has been revealed, I regret my involvement. Christie is a wonderful mother and community member who involves herself in charitable causes and has truly made a contribution to society.”

“Last week, Christie said, ‘I wish you the courage to do the right thing for yourself, your daughter and countless women suffering at the hand of an extreme narcissist.’ I believe I have done this now. I thank Christie for forgiving me and I wish her only the best.

“I would like to move on with my life now, quietly and privately. Peter and I have filed for divorce. I am putting this behind me.”

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Buttercup
Buttercup
9 years ago

I swear, I don’t know if this is a “cycle” thing or what, but the past 2 months’ worth of blogposts are literally following along with exactly what I need at the time. This post isn’t any different.

I “re-met” a man recently that I had interest in prior to my marriage to Mr. Cheaterpants, and I thought maybe the spark I’d seen before might lead to something. Until, of course, I found out that he had “made a mistake” in his marriage. It wasn’t the REASON for the divorce, you see, it was just a symptom of the larger problems that they BOTH brought to the marriage.

DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Red flag on the play!!!!

I quizzed him a little bit about this mistake. I said that I was on the receiving end of a “mistake” too, and how would I ever trust someone who did the same thing that my husband had done?

“OH, I’ve learned so much since then. I lost everything. I would never do that again. This time will be DIFFERENT.”

It’s in the playbook. Page 847, paragraph 3. “This time will be different, I promise.”

I asked him, what did you do in order to change your behavior? Therapy? Long hours of introspection? Did you tell your friends and family? Were you fair to your ex in your divorce? You mentioned that you “both brought problems to the marriage and cheating was just a symptom”—do you know that this sounds like you are blaming your ex for your decision to cheat?

Sputtering denials—he’s learned his lesson, boyoboyjimbob did he ever! No therapy though. He stuck to his guns about “both of them” being the problem, not his cheating. Didn’t want to discuss the divorce. In fact, I said I’d like to speak to ex at some point if the relationship continues to the next steps–and I got—I swear to God—“You don’t want to do that. She’s crazy.”

Done. Buh bye. Chemistry or no. Commonality or no. I am the one who learned the lesson, very well.

I’m sorry for Susan Shaw–these sociopaths are amazingly adroit in public relations. They know what you need to hear and they say it until you believe it.

I may not have been so smart “back then”, but I am now. I see red flags, I’m outta there.

Miss Sunshine
Miss Sunshine
9 years ago
Reply to  Buttercup

Great job on recognizing the red flag.

I love that he learned his lesson because HE lost everything. As in, it was such a bummer for him.

somuchhurt
somuchhurt
9 years ago
Reply to  Buttercup

I hope I have learned enough to see the red flags next time…of course I’m not even ready for that yet but I have so many trust issues that I don’t eve trust myself!

ByeByeCheater
ByeByeCheater
9 years ago
Reply to  somuchhurt

Somuchhurt, I’m right there with you. I’m a mess from a trust, confidence and esteem perspective. I’m OK most days but I fall apart on other days. Today was a not good day. I fell apart and my daughter had to pick up the pieces. Then of course I beat myself up over that. It’s been a year and a half since I kicked him out and we’re a few months away from the divorce being final. I am seeing a therapist but I know it may take quite some time to work through this. I’m hoping I can.

somuchhurt
somuchhurt
9 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

I can relate ByeBye…the past few weeks have been rough for me. I finally filed for divorce a few weeks ago and he still hasn’t been served and I am growing so impatient with it all! I’m glad your were able to kick yours out! Mine would/ will not leave and I tell him to get out almost daily! We will get thru all this and get better one day!

ByeByeCheater
ByeByeCheater
9 years ago
Reply to  somuchhurt

So much, I will keep my fingers crossed for you to get thru the divorce process quickly and without issue! It can be frustrating. I worried another 5lbs off during mine but I’ve gained it back now (that’s a good and bad side effect!). Hugs to you!

HM
HM
9 years ago
Reply to  Buttercup

**Standing Ovation** – nicely done BC. I applaud your strength. I myself have become quite adept at seeing the flags waving in the wind and jettisoning those who are waving them at me. At least we are learning.

Syringa
Syringa
9 years ago
Reply to  HM

***applause*** Buttercup. Amen and good for you. Ditto on all that. I went out with a man a couple of time and he told me that he cheated on his wife ‘twice.’ Say no more. Didn’t even wait to hear the excuse.

Moving Liquid
Moving Liquid
9 years ago

That’s all any of us can strive to do — to move on to a better life.

HM
HM
9 years ago

Hooray! Chumps everywhere are vindicated!

My ex twice removed (two exes ago), didn’t cheat. But he did leave under the guise of “you are horrible and drove me to leave when all i want is to settle down with a nice wife and have a family”, Which devastated me.

He spouted this party line all around town – the “poor me, my ex is a bitch who won’t let me see my kids” narrative. But I knew it was all bullshit. Why? Because he made no effort whatsoever to spend time with his children, call, write or talk to them even though I did nothing to hinder the relationships and in fact, worked hard to facilitate them. the next lady up however bought his act, hook, line and sinker. “Oh poor, misunderstood, mistreated sausage with the nasty ex, all he wants is a ‘good woman’ to settle down with and have a family”

Lo and behold when he did not commit to her, marry her or have children with her and instead found someone else to spend his time with, she cornered him in his driveway wailing “BUT I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT!!!”.

while I did not celebrate her misery, I did find it very validating.

MMargaret
MMargaret
9 years ago

I wish I questioned my future ex more. He was the “poor sausage” type. He was in pain over the breakup of his marriage which he attributed to working away from home so his wife got lonely and had an affair. He said nothing further. He was amazingly kind in his approach to her. They were friendly for the sake of their children. I wish I’d talked to her sooner… for out of kindness and respect for his pain, I didn’t ask hard questions. He seemed to take responsibility for what he did. He didn’t “blame” her. Little did I know it was form of advanced gas lighting taken by guys who know that trashing the ex is a red flag.

I’ll bet he told a similar poor sausage story about me for leaving him after ten years of him managing my expectations down to nothing in the relationship. After his ex wife and I compared notes, I knew a lot more and described him as a vampire. We both left him for good reason. Affair? Ha! She was done with him and left him pronto.

Syringa
Syringa
9 years ago
Reply to  MMargaret

I had met my XH’s lovely ex-wife and her new husband. We worked in the same field and I actually got to know them quite well. We all got along great. We bonded together through a couple of family tragedies and she was so appreciative of me that I wasn’t jealous of her. Fast forward when I caught Mr. Cheaterpants screwing his Skank Woman at the Sleazy Motel. ..’Ed’s Bed’s’. I called lovely ex wife and had her meet me after work. I was so devastated. That’s when she told me that she had caught him too…when they were married… in bed with his work study student. Ye-Ah.

His New Schmoopie knows all of this..Because I Told Her…..but guess what? She’s The Special One. Even if he cheats on her, she just knows he’ll *come on home back to her.

p.s. *that might happen because he’s getting a little long in the tooth for such nonsense these days

Roxie
Roxie
9 years ago

These kinds of apologies always strike me as too little and too late.

UnderConstruction
UnderConstruction
9 years ago
Reply to  Roxie

Yeah. Especially when she says “Unfortunately, I fell under Peter’s spell, but now that the reality of who he is has been revealed, I regret my involvement.”
The reality of who he is was revealed long ago, lol. She wanted to think she was special enough to change him and she isn’t, so now she can put it solely on him and side with his previously betrayed partners. I don’t know, still seems slightly selfish-flavored but can’t quite put a finger on it…

Amie Lout
Amie Lout
9 years ago

Well at least she had the guts to publicly say these things. So I give her props for that. I guess forgiveness is a big part of where I am after my similar experience. Been reading Gregory Smith’s ebook How to Successfully Recover from Having Been Cheated On. I appreciate how specific his book is. It’s exactly what I needed, his site is http://www.been-cheated-on.com/ his book is worth a look!

Moving Liquid
Moving Liquid
9 years ago
Reply to  Amie Lout

Sorry if this is a repeat. I’m having trouble with the site tonight.

Amie, if that guy’s book helped you to hurt less, I’m happy for you. But I can see from his home page that he wants to give me some blame for my husband putting his dick in another woman.

Nothing I did can justify him doing that to me. Nothing.

HM
HM
9 years ago
Reply to  Moving Liquid

Haha, thanks GHF and ML, that’s exactly what I thought. Not only did his page seem like a scam, it led me to the forum which ended up being a total trigger for me.brought me right back to the online forum which is how I discovered my ex was cheating. Yup. moron posted in an online, public forum all about his exploits. Niiiiiice.
Curled up, fetal position for the better part of an hour this evening until I realized that I don’t ever have to go back there.

Moving Liquid
Moving Liquid
9 years ago
Reply to  HM

Jesus, that’s amazing. So sorry you’re having to deal with all that. I’m in a fetal position myself tonight.

Glass Half Full
Glass Half Full
9 years ago
Reply to  Amie Lout

“Why did this infidelity happen – to you? The likelihood of cheating increases under certain conditions – learn what they are, and how they apply to your relationship. Plus – many times an infidelity is a product of a combination of YOUR ACTIONS, YOUR PARTNER’S ACTIONS, and/or ISSUES YOUR PARTNER HAS. We’ll explore all of these AND ALSO look at some of the actual, individual causes of affairs. There is never just one reason why an affair occurred – it’s always due to a collection of things happening simultaneously.”

Uh. No. Sorry. This had nothing to do with MY ACTIONS. Or a combination thereof. He chose to cheat. Period.

This guy sounds like an RICer. Thanks but no thanks.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago

Hey CL, can your guy put up a “recent blog posts list” or at least a “previous” somewhere ———->

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

It was last week CL, but now I do not see “previous post” at the bottom.

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
9 years ago

As Chump Lady says, it is to Shaw’s credit that she’s done this publicly. Yet I do not take joy in seeing anyone cheated upon.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago

I give her props, people do grow up. Of course she’s going to be “polite” about it on media. She was 18 when he hit on her, I think Christie Brinkley understood the immaturity of the woman her husband cheated with. Likely why she told her she would be there for her when she woke up. I truly think the problem with many cheaters is that they never grew past the emotional age of 16. At that stage most have only begun to learn empathy and in some cases barely have any. At 16, impulse control is low to no. And yeah, at 16 someone else always “made you do it”. I remember 16, I was badass, hardcore, took no shit and, sadly, didn’t give a fuck about anyone unless they were my family or my friends. But, most of us grow up and by our 20s we have become decent humans who do have empathy, compassion and we give a fuck. Some others, not so much.

HM
HM
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

From my understanding, Cook bought the teenager’s silence for $300k. So she’s pretty happy??

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

So how old was Susan Shaw? Sorry, I don’t follow the links on the articles so I mistakenly thought he married the 18 year old, hah!

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
9 years ago
Reply to  Datdamwuf

Actually my memory sucks, I didn’t care about strangers when I was 13, at 16 I was OK and empathy was working but definitely not so for many I knew back then. I realized that was wrong because a particularly poignant high school memory hit me right after I posted that comment. I have got to stop riffing on shit in a general way…

Calamity Jane
Calamity Jane
9 years ago

I have eaten crow….and humble pie thinking “it will be different with me”. I have a PHd in spackle. What chumpilicious I was. It is soooo embarrassing and humiliating. Made me a better person on this planet.

Make an egg face, CL. I will post it on my refrigerator.

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
9 years ago

Yeah. It was a shit sandwich that she got involved with a married man and ate greedily at 18. But the public apology is actually at least mildly helpful. My ‘friend’ of 34 years (OW) – at dday – has done nothing close. She blamed me, spread lies, diseases, then boiled a whole warren of bunnies. For nearly three years AFTER dday. An apology would have been nice. But sociopathic NPD – HA!!!- never gonna happen. He at least apologises – again and again – and walks the walk. Did/does the therapy. Is completely transparent. Is gutted at his crappy behaviour. Doesn’t change the facts, that he is an entitled sausage (arsehole) but the apologies are appreciated.

Christy obviously is the grownup. Thankfully for her children. Not just the one she had with him. I applaud all who have learned to see the red flags waving frantically. Great work Chump Nation!

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
9 years ago
Reply to  horsesrcumin

Whoops! Just read CL’s comment about the next wife not being the teenager. Still glad she apologised, even if she dismissed the red flags and married the perve.

Maria
Maria
9 years ago

The OW my ex left me for told me she wasn’t his first and knew all about his cheating on me with others before her. It’s like she took pleasure in telling me about the others. I don’t understand why she thinks he will not cheat on her? Anyway, imagine my surprise when I saw a FB post of his that said what wonderful and unselfish person she was and had a heart of gold. Really? OW have hearts? Isn’t sleeping with a married person one of the most selfish things anyone can do?

Miss Sunshine
Miss Sunshine
9 years ago
Reply to  Maria

Cheaters are not good judges of character, so I would not try to understand how he could think she is a good person. Because, obviously, that’s just a wrong assessment–flat-out.

Actually, cheaters may well be good judges of character, and they gravitate toward what works for them. Whether they sniff out a chumpy type, or the type who will not judge THEM, or who will feed them kibbles, I think they have this shit dialed, actually.

Maybe add the words, “…to me,” to the end of his sentences. “She has a heart of gold, to me.” Or, “She is a wonderful and unselfish person, to me.”

But never, ever take what a cheater SAYS about anyone as reliable. Always pass it through the Bullshit meter. I find that CL has a really good Bullshit meter, as do many here in the Chump Nation. Me, I could use a little help, but this site and all the chumpster comments really are educational, I must say.

Meg
Meg
9 years ago
Reply to  Miss Sunshine

Can also add “in bed” to all the nice things a cheater has to say about the OW. “She has a heart of gold, in bed.” “She is a wonderful and unselfish person, to me, in bed.”
It’s all part of the cheater thinking he/she is special, and by association so is the OW/OM. Their distorted thinking!

Maria
Maria
9 years ago
Reply to  Miss Sunshine

Thank you for taking the time to reply. He also said that she always finds the good in people first. Really, she didn’t find any good in me and still proceeded to screw my husband and was OK with hi leaving me.

firewoman
firewoman
9 years ago

I wish I questioned my future ex more. He was the “poor sausage” type. He was in pain over the breakup of his marriage which he attributed to working away from home so his wife got lonely and had an affair. He said nothing further. He was amazingly kind in his approach to her. They were friendly for the sake of their children. I wish I’d talked to her sooner… for out of kindness and respect for his pain, I didn’t ask hard questions. He seemed to take responsibility for what he did. He didn’t “blame” her. Little did I know it was form of advanced gas lighting taken by guys who know that trashing the ex is a red flag.
*************************
THIS. But, I DID TRY to talk about his past. He played the victim and very subtly blamed her, so I would not suspect different. Pretended he was such a great guy, he didn’t want to talk about it and cut her down. Absolutely would not discuss it further and pretended to be so incredibly pained that I would not trust his account of what happened between them (ELEPHANTINE RED FLAG). I also thought about talking to her before getting involved with him and made plan to do that. He was enraged that I would even think about doing that, after all he was telling me all (he thought) I needed to know. SHE cheated (yeah, right). What a chump I was. I KNEW something wasn’t exactly right and that I should follow my gut and check things out with her but out of fear of offending him and possibly losing the relationship so early on, I didn’t do it. ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR GUT, FELLOW CHUMPS. If it looks like a duck (cheater)………..