So here it is! Stupid Shit Cheaters Say come to life!
I’m sorry I couldn’t immortalize all 1,000+ submissions of crazy, but please accept a cow mooing “I am not defined by my relationships.”
Some of you saw a sneak peak on Facebook. I didn’t want to put it up here last Friday when the site was being so wonky.
I created the video as a book trailer for my book The Chump Lady Survival Guide to Infidelity, to build some buzz. But the fun part was just going around my small town in Texas getting people’s reaction to stupid. You’ll be gratified to know your average Texan is horrified and incredulous at Stupid Shit Cheaters Say.
“You just gotta get away from these people!” said Wayne, the guy with the vegetable stand. He took my request to be in a book video with a laid back equanimity. And then his own chump story poured out (which I think I shared here earlier). His first wife cheated on him, ran away to Mexico with his kids, and when he came home he discovered she’d dug a hole in the front yard and buried all his stuff in it.
“Seems kinda funny now.”
Wayne eventually went on to happily remarry and have four more kids, but you could tell the experience scarred him. “I still wonder what I did and why she would do that.” So even though we were going to just keep it at stupid shit cheaters say, we added Wayne’s solid “You gotta get away” advice.
Other cameos include Blacks Barbecue (who were incredibly kind and game. If you’re ever in Lockhart, Texas eat brisket here!) They let four guys on shift come practice saying stupid shit on camera. But the runaway stand out was the guy who appears and improvised his line with “Sweetheart.” He kept cracking up that anyone could seriously say “I cheated on your belief that I would not cheat on you.”
The morose Polish kid is our exchange student, giving an excellent rendition of cheater self pity.
And the mooing cow was courtesy of Tinker, a friend of my husband’s who runs cattle on his ranch and whose dad owns one of the other BBQ joints in town, Chisholm Trail BBQ. (Check them out too if you’re ever in Lockhart — they’re the local favorite.) This wonderful man drove Nick, my camera guy, and me out in a jeep to film his cattle who he promised would moo on cue for treats. But the cattle were feeling sulky that day and were not in a mooing mood. So poor Tinker kept teasing them with treats, and poor Nick kept standing in a field of cow flop trying to get a defiant cow to moo on cue.
Another note on Tinker — he was my husband’s realtor in this small town. Right after his D-Day, he found himself emotionally slopping all over Tinker for some reason, and with perfect calm, Tinker invited him to go feed his cattle that day to cheer him up. Today, these same cattle get to deliver my husband’s ex-wife’s serial cheating line that she was “not defined by her relationships.” MOOOOooo!
I was only able to create this video thanks to the mighty talents of Jennifer Lindberg, my dear friend who is a super high end wedding photographer and her fellow photographer Nick Enghardt, who teaches audio visual skills at St. Edwards University here in Austin. They knew how to do lighting and set up a mike, and have a million other video super powers. I just roped nice people into saying stupid things for $20 bucks.
And a big shout out to my husband Paul who scripted this video and thought of the sequencing. (Are you stuck with stupid?) He’s a trial lawyer who can tell a story. If left to my own devices, I would’ve just stuck a bunch of stupid shit cheaters say up on the screen. This is much better!
Please feel free to share and social media the heck out of this thing. (My new server goes live today!)
Very funny! A good way to market the book, for sure.
This is so funny CL!
“No actual cheaters or cows were harmed in the making of this video.” Because Chump Lady is more Meh than Moo….
Also, can’t help thinking there’s a certain Facebook Page I could post it to, but I’m Meh too.
LOVE IT….ABSOLUTELY LOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE IT! Well done!
Brilliant, Tracy and Company! Absolutely BRILLIANT!
And thanks to brave Wayne for sharing his story with you.
But, are you serious?! Lockhart?! Tell me it ani’t so!
That’s where my STBX was living when we began dating. He was working at the HEB. Some of his (also cheating) family lived there for many years. Think some still are……..
Neat little town, though. Even considered moving there at one point……
So glad you guys did this! Perhaps a full-length version next……?
ForgeOn, all…..ForgeOn Wayne…….
Well done! Now we need a meme on twitter… 🙂
Now about Black’s Barbecue, is their brisket totally awesome? Cos it looks like they ship and I haven’t had a slice of excellent brisket in years…
Their brisket is totally awesome. I’ve been known to travel with frozen Blacks’ briskets.
Thank you ChumpLady, great video! Keep up the good work! We love you!
Damn, I just checked brisket out and the shipping is way high. It would cost me $60 for 2lbs, sigh…cannot afford. 🙁
Well, that’s because they have to ship it on dry ice, express. Next time I’m in your neck of the woods, I can bring you a frozen one. It makes security checkpoints so much more interesting.
I’m at work so I can’t turn on the sound!! Can’t wait to get home to listen to it!! Thank you a million times!
Now, when I have to hear my ex’s stupid voice (and hear about his continued lies to our kids about how there wasn’t any cheating involved), I’m just going to think: “MOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” For what it’s worth, the cows are cuter than my ex and his hobag.
Nice job, CL. I like what sounds like carnival music in the background, which I think helps to highlight the absurdity of what comes out of the cheater clowns’ mouths.
This is comedy GOLD. My favorite is the old standby: “It just happened.” Like they tripped and accidentally fell on someone else’s genitals or something.
Cute! I wish you had a “like” button! A big one!
Your husband’s ex-wife is a cow?
I meant to say “Your husband’s ex-wife is cow? :snicker:”
No, she is not defined by her bovine-ness.
Love it!! Shared on Facebook. In other news, did you see Dr Oz’s guests today were none other than Tori and Dean? Ha! Who books this crap?
Haha, loved it! That is some seriously stupid shit!
Its perfect!…..lmao….and the music.. straight up clownville..
Love the last one: “We can still be friends, right?” Ha ha!
I think that was my favorite one too!
It’s cute, CL. I do have a few suggestions (since I work in marketing). I think the beginning of the video might need an extra slide that makes it clear that these are things cheaters say. I’m not sure if people who aren’t familiar with your website would understand that “Are you stuck with stupid?” is referring to cheaters. Also, I have a little trouble hearing the words clearly with a few people, especially the kids. It might be good to put subtitles on those slides, or all of them. Just want to make sure the words get communicated loud and clear! Anyway, the music in the background is fun and the people who participated did a great job. Looks like you had fun making it.
Good suggestions, thanks.
Well done CL….too bad you didn’t film it in Dallas.
My ex-wife cowboy boots and boob implant yoga mantra chanting cheater could have added her unique twist on stupid cheater shit talk. She’s be thrilled to be filmed and give everyone a cheater Namaste Y’all shout out. She’s all about living authentically, even if being authentic requires cheating.
She probably fits right in in Dallas.
all i can say is i love it
love it! Have some locals to send it to….
Hilarious, and goodness knows, it’s good to laugh!
It’s too late now, but for future videos, you might consider asking drama students from a college campus to say these lines. What’s lacking in this video is the correct tone of voice, so the lines come out kind of flat and don’t have the impact an actor would nail.
Or you could have all the actors be 6 year olds. Instruct the kids to act real bratty, too. With arms at hip, a child could say, “I’m not defined by my relationships!” and then stick out their tongue. It would really sell how immature a cheater’s reasoning is.
I’m hoping someday you’ll share the director’s cut….the Making of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say. I would seriously love to see you randomly walking up to the good folk of Lockhart, Texas, explaining your premise, slipping ’em a $20, annnnddd Action! I bet there were lots of laughs and great reactions. Well done.
Dang, I totally missed this post! It’s awesome. But how’d I miss it? Have other’s missed it? Share it again!
Excellent work, CL.
Hahaa love it.