Monica Lewinsky is reinventing herself again. Lewinsky, the once White House intern infamous for giving Bill Clinton blowjobs, has tried her hand at designing handbags, being a reality TV star, writing a book, penning an essay for Vanity Fair last May, doing a TED talk (“The Price of Shame”) — is now speaking out against cyberbullying.
The New York Times writes in “Monica Lewinsky Is Back, But This Time On Her Own Terms”:
A lot is different for Monica Lewinsky these days, starting with the fact that, until last year, she had hardly appeared publicly for a decade. Now 41, the former White House intern once famously dismissed by the president as “that woman” holds a master’s degree in social psychology from the London School of Economics.
Gosh, Monica, way to hide under that bushel.
At 41, she doesn’t have many of the things that a person her age may want: a permanent residence, an obvious source of income (she won’t comment on her finances) a clear career path.
She is also very, very nervous. She is worried about being taken advantage of, worried her words will be misconstrued, worried reporters will rehash the past.
I don’t know, Monica. It seems to me all you’ve done for the last 20 years is cash in on that past. Do you really think you’d be Alan Cummings date to the Golden Globes if you weren’t infamous? Or invited to Norman Mailer parties? Or get a TED Talk?
In in the intervening years, despite your academic credentials, you haven’t been able to get a job for fucks sake, except as Monica Lewinsky Tragically Misunderstood Mistress.
She splits time between New York and Los Angeles, where she grew up, and London, and said it’s been hard to find work.
Mostly she has embraced a quiet existence: doing meditation and therapy, volunteering, spending time with friends.
She also has a “speech coach” for those public appearances.
Nice perks for the underemployed, Monica. Who pays your bills? You seem pretty kept for one so feminist.
Now people are reconsidering you, feeling awful about how it all went down.
Feminists who had stayed silent on the first go-round were suddenly defending her, using terms like “slut-shaming” and “media gender bias” to do it.
The late-night host David Letterman was on air expressing remorse over how he had mocked her, asking, in a recent interview with Barbara Walters, “With some perspective, do you realize this is a sad human situation?” Bill Maher said of reading Ms. Lewinsky’s piece in Vanity Fair, “I gotta tell you, I literally felt guilty.”
Did we all “slut shame” Monica Lewinksy? Is the woman a misunderstood feminist?
As she put it, shame and humiliation have become a kind of “commodity” in our culture — with websites that thrive on it, industries created out of it, and people who get paid to clean up the mess.
What happened to compassion? she asked up on stage. “What we need,” she said, “is a cultural revolution.”
The way Ms. Lewinsky tells it, she was “Patient Zero” for the type of Internet shaming we now see regularly. Hers wasn’t the first case ever, but it was the first of its magnitude. Which meant that, virtually overnight, she went from being a private citizen to, as she put it, “a publicly humiliated one.”
You suck the dick of the leader of the free world, chances are if that goes public, it goes VERY public. That was the risk YOU took, Monica. OWN IT. But like every other ordinary cheater, you thought you wouldn’t get caught.
“It’s a sexual shaming that is far more directed at women than at men,” Gloria Steinem wrote me in an email, noting that in Ms. Lewinsky’s case, she was also targeted by the “ultraright wing.” “I’m grateful to [her],” Ms. Steinem said, “for having the courage to return to the public eye.”
Gloria Steinem? Really? Look the debate about sexual shaming is a legitimate one, but you could pick a far better example than Monica Lewinsky. It IS shameful to cheat. What she did with her sexuality was stupid and something to feel deeply mortified about. Her sexuality didn’t make it shameful — coming on to a married man (yes, even a horn dog like Bill Clinton) is shameful.
Feminism? You want feminism? Where’s the universal sisterhood?
IMO there is nothing LESS feminist than trying to poach The Big Powerful Man by showing him your thong underwear. Powerful man as commodity. He will confer his greatness to me if I just suck his dick! I will get on my knees for the lopsided, unreciprocated pleasure of literally SERVICING HIM.
I’m supposed to buy that Lewinsky is some feminist cultural icon? Betty Friedan called her a “little twerp.” God Bless you Betty.
Lewinsky makes great plays for everyone’s pity, utterly ignoring the fact that she had sex with another woman’s husband. She wants compassion? Monica, show me your REMORSE first.
Speaking of suffering, Lewinsky says:
“That in someone else’s darkest moment, lodged in their subconscious might be the knowledge that there was someone else who was, at one point in time, the most humiliated person in the world. And that she survived it.”
Yeah, that person was Hilary Clinton. She’s running for president, Monica. Which is, like, a job. You should try one.
Spot on as always, CL. I can’t believe we’re supposed to feel sorry for poor Monica, but there it is.
If she’s looking for a new career, maybe she should check out Ashley Madison. 🙁
Oh, that’s hilarious! She could be their new spokesperson.
Right on. She was old enough to know what she was doing. She has a crazy family that damaged her, but still, many damaged people don’t act like she did…and now she’s a victim? Bullshit, she’s a slut
Amen. “Little twerp” indeed.
Want to know your job opportunities with a master’s in social psych? Either statistical analysis or “Would you like fries with that, ma’am?” If Monica was serious about supporting herself, she’d either be doing statistical analysis right now, or have obtained a different degree. She was a gold digger back then–wanting what another woman had–and she is a gold digger now.
And, if you’re remorseful about an act, you don’t go CAPITALIZING on it. Conscience 101.
Brilliant, CL. Just brilliant!!! Your summation says it all. You should submit this to the NY Times.
This, this, this! ^^^^^^^^^
Ok. So Monica is not the brightest bulb. But she has never sparked the least bit of interest in me. I don’t understand why anyone cares about her or her life. She gave the president a blow job? Is that it? Come on world!! We are better than this!!
Charles — put this into perspective, please. First of all this story was blown all over the media and force fed to us whether we were interested or not. The story seemed to be about POTUS having an affair, but it was really about the struggle between the political parties and who gets to claim the podium of The Most Self Righteous of All. It was political leverage, and it is still political leverage.
Second — would you be upset if “all” your wife did was provide another man a blow job? Would you tell your wife, and expect her to accept the excuse, of “it was just a blow job?” In my opinion, even an emotional affair crosses the boundaries. I cannot give a pass to online sex, sexts, secret obsessive pornography, or prostitution. No matter what the act — it violates the spirit of the agreement. If you are supposed to be in a monogamous relationship, be in one, or get out.
I don’t believe you should have your cake and “eat it” too. Yes, I know, that was snarky, but I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Sorry.
Hi Portia. I didn’t mean to imply that I would be upset if my wife gave a man a blow job. In fact, she did do that (and other things) repeatedly with her affair partner. I was just trying to be funny — like why is this person still famous, or still making such hay off of an absurd and sordid encounter with Bill Clinton? I don’t think she or BC should get a free pass at all.
edit: I meant to say “wouldn’t be upset”!!
Thought so — just checking. Obviously I didn’t leave my sense of humor at the door, or I wouldn’t have had my snarky fun. But you would be amazed at the comments I heard along that line that were serious. Also, the whole thing raised many discussions about what was sex and what wasn’t — and these conversations are still going on among adolescents today. Even back in the dark ages when I went to college, there were arguments in the dorm about what you could do and still proclaim yourself a virgin for marriage. See Florence King’s description of a self-rejuvenating virgin to get the jist of it in case you missed the argument.
Amen Portia – emotional affairs CROSS THE LINE! My stbx dumbass bought himself another phone so he could secretly sext/chext other women. But according to him – “He never cheated on me!” Really? Hiding shit behind my back isn’t cheating? Stupid moron.
Amen to Portia’s take. The 2nd paragraph rocks…
Monica is two years younger than me. I remember when that scandal broke and everything that went with it.
I feel she got “sucked” for lack of a better word, into the power. He was attracted, she felt flattered. Linda Tripp took advantage of the knowledge.
She didn’t do anything I bet a lot of women do, and just don’t look back. It was a mistake, but she was young and he was powerful. At some point we have to realize that what equals sex and love to us, is just power and dominance to them.
All true, I think. BUT, she keeps on capitalizing on her juvenile stupidity, AND wants us to feel sorry for her. Naaaaah, not doing that.
Get a real job, Monica, stay out of sight, and show you realize what you did was stupid and wrong.
I can honestly say I would not have done what she did at any age and I bet most of us here wouldn’t. Being with a married man, I don’t care who he is, is just not a boundary I would never cross. Also, let’s hold Bill Clinton accountable too. I do think he did what a lot of President’s have done before him. It just became OK in the 90s for the media to splash it everywhere. That’s probably a good thing. Having affairs have kept people out of office- look at Gary Hart and John Edwards.
*ever not never
Ages ago, when the world and I were young, I worked at high levels of State government, gov’s office and legislature… Here is what I learned, the needs of the people have absolutely no importance in the outcome of legislation or anything else. There are NO, NONE, NINGUINO decent and honorable men and women in politics. Politics is about Power, Money and Sex, mixed and matched in any order. It doesn’t matter whether you are a Blue or Red or whatever, as soon as you get there, it becomes about money, power and sex. There is a fb page called psychopathic genetics, I think someone from CN has it. Anyway that person is all about identifying psychopaths in politics…They called it spot on… Dem, Repub, Green, whatever, as soon as you are elected, whatever false morality you had goes right out the window or perhaps you are in politics in the first place because you had no morality to start with.
That makes so much sense. It just seems like our political system is so messed up and it doesn’t matter what party we are talking about. So sad.
Okay John Edwards is a horrible sleeze ball of a person, but his oldest daughter who lived though the death of her brother and later her mother, forgave him.
To me that says, life is about more then peoples’ failings. These jerks feel they are entitled and will get away with things that are morally reprehensible. Until they don’t, and are we supposed to toss them to the curb? They are children in adult bodies.
The truth is we are better, because we would never put a partner through that. In the end they are the ones to be pitied. They are the ones that don’t recognize there is no perfection. They are not gods and there isn’t a godlike mate.
We are smarter than they are. I do not know how or why, but we understand that seducing and/ or being seduced doesn’t elevate your status. I guess it’s about not needing someone else to validate our worthiness.
I am quite sure my cheating ex doesn’t understand that he is not the best I ever had. I was there because I loved him. I have had better, And given the choice, I would let better go in favor of love.
But I’m a woman and he’s a man. Is that why?
‘But I’m a woman and he’s a man. Is that why?’
Jen, I could tell you a 100% true story that would illustrate how gender has nothing to do with the immaturity, narcism, and flat-out cruelty of the cheater…
Monica was over the age of 18 when she began her White House Blow Job job. Not a child, not a teen. She was a young woman at the time. And certainly was very very much aware her boss was married and had a young daughter too. Nope. I’m not going to rationalize nor excuse her behavior as being young or juvenile.
If she “stole” her best friend’s boyfriend in 8th grade by giving him a blow job in the back of the bus, it would still make her a skank. That’s juvenile due to the typical age of an 8th grader.
Guess what? She got caught. Just happens she got caught on her knees with ” the most powerful man in the Western Hemisphere”. They both deserved and still deserve to be publicly humiliated for the grievous disrespect to the other spouse. And I don’t buy that his power made her put his cigar in her vagina. Seems more like a fair kibble trade for both idiots and then the idiots were caught.
I so agree.
This is not some poor little thing overpowered by Clinton’s charisma. This is an experienced OW. An OW who had a several year long affair with a married man BEFORE she met Clinton. Just because she started her career as an OW young doesn’t mean she didn’t know exactly what she was doing.
I don’t buy that Linda Tripp victimized her. Bullshit. Monica kept that disgusting dress. Monica got on her knees and sucked him off. Monica snapped her thong panties in his face. Yes Tripp stabbed her in the back by blabbing – but so what? Everyone knows there is no honor among thieves or whores.
I don’t feel one bit sorry for her. Clinton’s other whores faded into the background and went on with their lives. Why won’t she? Oh I know because she’s not the least bit sorry for what she did. She’s only sorry it got her infamy instead of fame and fortune like she wanted – and damn it she’s going to keep trying to turn this sordid tale into a plus for herself no matter what.
I remember my disgust at her ,and her Mothers attitude that that was just the way females get a-head (what a pun in THAT dash inserted because I could not help myself). Like it was nothing aberrational. Disgusting to decency for both genders actually
Off topic, but I just wanted to thank all the kind chumps who posted to me yesterday. X
That whole situation was so odd. Bill Clinton denied any wrong doing yet she kept the dress as proof that he DID…which by doing so, incriminated herself. Had she told the lie with him, she might be in a different place today at 41. So….at 20 or whatever, what was she thinking there? He loved her? The President of the Free World, the guy married to Hillary Clinton would see her as tru wuv and divorce? Seriously? She made choices and so she has to deal with the consequences….or deflect. That’s what I am learning that cheaters do.
I remember being hit on in my college years by a married dude running the company I worked at. It creeped me out!! He scared the sh!t out of me because he sought me out where I worked in my little cubby. Alone. I am wondering how she could look at BILL and think “Oh yeah, He’s hot!”. I guess being close to power can be intoxicating for some but seriously, those people will turn on you. They want POWER! Not YOU!
I felt the same way when I was in my early 20s – older men where gross. But I did have friends of friends that bragged about sleeping with married congressmen. These were not even good looking men so yes it was all about the power these men held.
I thought it was weird that she kept the semen stained dress. Just weird.
She was a political gold digger. A stupid one too. Had she kept her mouth shut, she probably would have been rewarded with cushy political jobs. You know, because she can be “trusted”, wink wink.
But she went all “woe is me! I’m a victim! Feel sorry for me and shower me with interviews and book deals”.
What she didn’t know that political types hate a snitch. Even Clinton’s opponents wouldn’t want her in their camp.
Guess she didn’t know screwing married politicians is different than screwing married school teachers.
Hillary is clearly the winner, but it “sucks” that she had to stay. If she left, she probably would not be running for president. She is smarter and more capable, but she needed Bill to overcome the machismo.
They were political operatives all along A marriage made for power. Hillary is a lesbian and according to Bill has banked more blank than he ever has. Hillary is vile on her own. Remember who she let die and not for the first time. She looked vaguely human when she cam out and said SHE had sent him there Cmon like she had a touch of humanity for a second then had a well planned illness then off to the wine parties. “women we are better than to fall for her image!
I don’t know. . . I am most curious though as to how she makes money to support herself? I also find it interesting that she is currently being touted in the media, and supposedly is going to have a talk show? Me thinks there is a Republican faction behind the scenes supporting and promoting Monica in an attempt to thwart Hillary’s presidential ambitions.
ring a ding ding
Dat–I sent an email to your dat… address (which you may not check regularly). You may be interested in the content. (sorry–off topic, I know).
Hope Tempest Ring..Chris Plante a Pentagon employee and CNN reporter now a political broadcaster at WMAL said she had asked him for a ride because her car wouldn’t start -before this Clinton knee pad crawl-by and He was surprised to be dropping her to her very expensive WATERGATE address. She has always gotten $$ and this is actually a Democratic playbook stuff and happens now. She very much thought of this as a stepping stone to power, thought she would not get caught but got “TRIPP-ed up)
She still gets $$$ We will never know the truth.
I think you are on the mark, that an “interested party” is supporting her, and that will use her during the campaign, but I also think the public is tired of the story, and the last attempt to weasel her way into the spotlight didn’t work very well. The basic story is trite.
I have mixed emotions about what happened — I agree she was young and ambitious and not nearly as bright as she thought she was, but she was also used in a predictable manner, both by Clinton and Tripp. What she did was not vastly different from the type of stupid things people that age do every day as part of a learning process. However, her lack of demonstrable remorse and trying to play the pity card and the victim card is really hard to take. No doubt some vicious things have been said about her, but she put herself in an untenable position.
I think whenever this story is trotted out, different perspectives view the consequences differently. Those who believe in reconciliation and staying married say it show’s Hillary is strong enough to survive a monumental disaster. Those who think she should have left say she is setting a bad example for other women. Those who want to slander all presidential contenders of that party say it demonstrates just how bad the Democrats can be. It is all ridiculous, and old news.
The thing that has always bothered me with this story and any of the other political fighting that proclaim the argument is based on moral grounds and that one party is morally superior to the other is that the public would have to be deaf, dumb, and blind to believe the argument. If every politician who has ever “strayed” from the ideal version of “family” and “marriage” were exposed, and expelled from office, the government would be putting up a big VACANCY sign. Every variance, sin, and perversion known to the general population is evident in the political population. Politicians say whatever they need to say to get elected. What they do in private is representative of what the rest of the population does — lie, cheat, drink, gamble, drugs, every form of religious variation, every form of sexual variation — all of it.
If I had done something so irresponsible and shown such a total lack of judgement at her young age, I would have changed my appearance and name and moved to some other country for awhile. There are many places in the world which don’t follow American “celebrity” the way we do in the US. Many countries would not have considered her worth consideration for what she did. She could have found work there, and lived a life outside of the brutal spotlight. She wouldn’t have had to stay away forever, but the news cycle grows shorter every day, along with the average attention span. Walk away from the camera my dear — it is not your friend.
There is an episode of the Daily Show from way back where a blues singer sings in response to the stupid text messages some politician and his shmoopie are exchanging. So John Stewart reads with no emotion,
“where are you?”
“I’m at Ben’s Chili Bowl”. (This is an iconic spot in DC for politicians and actors, but mostly just tourists.
Back up singer sings,
“Ben’s Chili Bowl, another place for love, love and chili!”
Portia, I do have some idea of how easy it would be for Bill Clinton to mesmerize a very young woman and I think the trauma of her “best” friend betraying her secrets wasn’t all that cool either. There is something to be said about a young person working with a very powerful person and being manipulated too. I don’t buy her pity party after all these years, the woman has stellar education and comes from wealth but I don’t discount the possible trauma she went through either. Not going to be a popular comment here. I do try to see all sides when I do not know facts and in this case we really don’t know.
I can totally see having the affair and regretting it. Linda Tripp is vile. What I do not get is the woman’s lust for the limelight (while complaining that she is hounded. Reality TV star? REALY?) and her utter lack of remorse.
While you’re mortified and regretting what happened, please also regret that you humiliated another woman — Clinton’s WIFE.
Lewinsky seems to be all about HERSELF and her poor sausage act. No sympathy here.
I wrote that before I read the Vanity Fair and NYT articles. She is dripping with the blame game and poor fucking me. I’ve got PTSD and I don’t pull that shit, in the damn article she makes a reference to her mother being afraid she would commit suicide and then walks it back to how you know, she thought about it. Then she talks about how fucking hard last year was, and why was it hard? Because she dropped her damn article in Vanity Fair and the poor motherfucking martyr. I take it back, fuck off Monica – you are 41 years old. enough already.
Yes — her refusal to “shut up already” is what bothers me the most. Lord knows I did some stupid things when I was young, and I think, maybe, last week, but I don’t continue to talk about them or try to paint myself into the victim corner.
I think people who talk about suicide in the way she did are delusional. I think she was having a little delusional daydream along the lines of “I bet they would all be sorry if I died, and they would all come to my funeral and say great things about me, and they would all cry and miss me.” I mean really, it sounds so dramatic and fashionable, but then, she would have to be dead and looking at this world from another one. That can’t be much fun. There would be no book deals, or new clothes, or fun places to go or fun things to do anymore. Bummer.
Excuse me, I have to go remove a snark from my throat. Later!
How about her line, “When I was 22, I fell in love with my boss”? Is THAT how she views the situation? Well, no wonder she just doesn’t understand why she is so reviled. Clearly, she has gained no insight into her role in this debacle.In 20 years, I have never heard one word of remorse from her. Want some respect, Monica? Why don’t you begin with an apology to Hillary? That will never happen because the only person who matters to Monica is Monica.
“I am most curious though as to how she makes money to support herself” — We’re looking at it right now, lol!
“she is currently being touted in the media” — Yes, because she is, and has always been, a self-promoting narc. You just *know* she ran out of “hush money” a long time ago, lol.
” a Republican faction behind the scenes supporting and promoting…” — Not necessary. Sometimes people just hang their dirty laundry in plain sight. (Of course the R’s are laughing! Why shouldn’t they, and wouldn’t the D’s do the same if the shoe were on the other foot?)
Thanks for thinking harder about this. No Republicans were needed for this-and she and her mother are narcs and lower the profile of the working females everywhere. She is disgusting and insipid to me. Hardly an intellect and those celebrities accompanying her to events immediately made me sick and still do
Monica’s family was very wealthy, she attended Beverly Hills High School and Lewis & Clark College (private school in Portland, OR).
At the time she wrote her book, it was reported she was advanced $12M for it….she hopefully has some of that left.
But yes, she hasn’t exactly done anything to distance herself from her shame.
I’m curious to see how Hilary does….because Bill is rumoured to have a buxom blond mistress. If that comes out, I think she has to leave. Once, OK, twice? She’d be a bimbo for staying.
You are thinking like moral normal people(thank GOD) but these do not. Clintons are a political power partners. Hillary has Huma Wiener,- a woman and Clintons have always been an arrangement for power.
Bill wants back in the White House.(!!!duh) and So do the Bush and Obama families. Everyone wants a power dynasty-very UN-American wouldn’t you say? We came here to get away from dynasties remember!
If she had not saved the dress, unwashed and in plastic (ew) she would just be a slut. In my opinion she had plans to make money, get famous from it. That makes her a prostitute.
But Linda Tripp played on her. An older woman, who met her at Pentagon City, a place I have enjoyed bringing my son to shop at. Linda Tripp played her, when she should’ve washed the dress and let it go. Monica is just stupid. Linda is the villan.
Everyone has an ego that is vulnerable to sexual attention and power. If you are interning at the White House, you did some honest work to get there. And I guess not all of us have a moral compass. I would never cheat with a married man, my sister, raised in the same family would. I actually feel bad for her, because I feel it represents either a lack of character or a narcissistic wound. And I am all too aware that I was Daddy’s girl and she wasn’t. There is a revenge factor there. A setting the record straight thing.
Monica will never recover the blow. Hillary endured and did. I think if I had stuck it out, I would have been the winner, but the prize was an asshole.
So I just feel bad for Monica and hopeful for Hillary. And hopeful that we are more than powerplays combined with sexual urges.
Such a great insight Jen, that there is some “revenge factor” for some wound here for cheaters. This was true in my case with all parties.
After D-day, I learned that my doula and her best friend, the OW, (my doula knew of the affair) both leaders of the birth education, spoke hatefully about their mothers. Doula said that her mother smoked when she was pregnant with her, she was so angry about that she started a natural birth organization. I had not known any of this until I started speaking with people after D-day.
I see now that this doula and her OW protege do the “birthing work” to fuck over other women/mothers as revenge. Roping women in at their most their vulnerable so they can work on their mommy issues. It’s a very sick gig.
While Monica has certainly “made her own bed” because of her actions, I find it interesting that she cannot move forward in life. Might be a combination of a victim mentality, and public scorn but….who in the world would ever hire her? She would be a risk and liability in any workplace. Her experience is a cautionary tale that I don’t believe most 20-somethings grasp. There are some actions for which there is no forgiveness. An odd juxtaposition in our “do whatever feels groovy” world.
And her partner – the married man and leader of free world – deserves equal or more scorn. As an employer, a President, and a husband – his lack of judgement was monumental. The actions of both disgust me, but in my opinion – he is more culpable.
Yes he is.
There is a simple solution which is a legal name change in court. She could voluntarily stay out of the limelight, but it’s obvious she enjoys it.
I notice that no one suggested Bill change his name and stay out of the limelight…..
I understand not liking ML. I don’t want to hear her speech or read her book. I have no interest in her whatsoever. I do feel that we are bashing her (as a society) while Bill skipped right through unscathed. He is still well loved by millions. He was the POTUS. We can’t even begin to imagine the power. She was young. If it was my daughter I would still be furious. Yes, she could’ve gone away and changed her name and had plastic surgery but he should’ve done the same. It is sexist IMO that bashing her became a national pastime and he skated….
Exactly the point – I couldn’t nail it as well.
I’m not sure “skated” is the correct term for how he fared. He had an impeachment vote, left office with millions in legal debt. He has been rehabilitated because of his public works, and admittedly, a fair amount of charm.
And a name change would not have benefited him in the slightest. Seriously, he did not have the same opportunity to hide in oblivion the way she did.
Are you seriously suggesting that a former POTUS ever has financial trouble? They left the WH and bought a gazillion dollar estate in New York so Hillary could run for the Senate. A former POTUS is a money making machine. He could not hide in oblivion but he could’ve stayed more in the shadows. And why should she “hide in oblivion” while Bill and Hillary kept themselves relevent? That’s my whole point. It’s sexist. It’s misogonistic. Let the “whore/bimbo” go away and let the “cheater/abuser of young women” fund a Global Initiative…..
True–POTUS is never going to lack for money. But if ML had gone to treat lepers or visit victims of land mines in Afghanistan instead of writing a book about her press treatment post-blow job, I and many others would have considered her rehabilitated, too. I would then have had some respect for her that she had learned from the experience. I’m not seeing that.
And for what it’s worth, I don’t consider him “rehabilitated” either, at least from his disastrous sexual practices.
I agree Bev. I’ve noticed Bill Clinton has gotten a pass on this blog several times. It’s disappointing but we all have our blind spots I suppose.
I get what you’re saying but I made mistakes when I was young and had no where near the reason of “I was enticed by the freakin POTUS”. And sad to admit but I never went and treated lepers either. She had her life blown apart when she was 22. I agree she was at fault but it was a major blow up. She is bound to be messed up. I think we are holding her to higher standards than we would any one else. Again, I’m not a fan and im not interested in hearing anything she has to say. I just maintain that her life is a tragedy and Bill Clinton is to blame. He was old enough to know better. Any 22 year old that’s caught up in a scandal of that size is screwed for life. I don’t suggest we applaud her. I’m suggesting we leave her alone and not participate in raking her over the coals. She put herself back out there but it doesn’t mean that we have to pile on. It’s just my opinion.
What do you see when you see Bill Clinton or say Tiger Woods?? CHEATERS!!! Same with Monica. Enough said. I don’t care what they do…good or bad. They are CHEATERS!! I have no remorse for them and their stupid decisions. Everything I think they try to do have some kind of lie attached to it.
I don’t think Clinton is unscathed. Monica and that nasty blue dress are part of his legacy. So much so that an artist commissioned to paint his portrait painted a shadow of the blue dress in the background. What president wants that?
And oh yeah, he was impeached. That’s pretty damn harsh.
I don’t think she has to change her name to live a normal life. Just stop tying her name with “the incident”. Clinton’s other OW’s have gone back to their normal lives and they were at the time also high profile. But they didn’t try to make a name for themselves as Clinton’s mistress or Clinton’s victim.
If she doesn’t know why she can’t get a job or have a normal life, she need only look in the mirror.
It depends on what the definition of “is” is! If we only knew the definition of “is” it would all become very clear to us!
The difference is, her actions went public. Like the Scarlet Letter. This happens all the time, but we sometimes choose to ignore it, sometimes it’s not picked up upon.
I truly feel like my ex and I deal with this because he doesn’t want to lie and I don’t want to be lied too. Some people can’t pretend the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.
Aww…don’t any of you have stupid daughters? Or were stupid yourself, at intern age? It may take some life lived to realize how utterly excruciating and devastating all this really is to a family, a spouse. I think the idea that she paid a heavy price for stupid has some validity. The part of the article about her mom really got to me.
It’s about the Big Dog. Power differential. She screwed up, it was a character flaw, but she’s paid big-time. He is responsible, I think; he’s supposed to be the grownup. Having said that, he was willing to be IMPEACHED to avoid telling HRC the truth. I bet this is a trigger for her. I’m sorry for all of them.
It’s all exhausting, mostly. They are all the same, from the weiniest nebbishy husband to The Most Powerful Man on Earth, they all read the same “how-to” booklet. I’m at a loss to try and teach and protect my son.
I may NEVER get over the Ashley Madison ad.
PSJM–I see your arguments. However, first, I think what she did at 20ish was COLOSSALLY stupid. This was a planned dalliance (she admitted she deliberately wore a thong and bent over so he could see it on their first encounter). She then repeatedly went to the oval office. This was not a single case of getting drunk and flashing your boobs to a camera during spring break. I have a 19-year old daughter, and cannot think of a single one of her friends who would do anything remotely that stupid.
Two, I agree he is MORE responsible, but Monica was an adult at the time–able to drive, able to vote, able to marry, able to bear children. She doesn’t get a free pass.
Thirdly, she is *capitalizing* on her blowing the president. Would she have any celebrity status whatsoever as a former WH intern with a master’s degree otherwise? No. Had she gone on to live a quiet life afterwards, perhaps “youthful indiscretion” could account for some of her sin/s. But catapulting yourself into the public eye again because of the strength of your jaw muscles, and getting called out for saving a dress with semen on it, detracts from my ability to forgive and forget.
And the cost of Bill & Monica’s actions, from the Kenneth Starr investigation alone, were 6.2 million. That would have insured a lot of children.
She capitalizes because there is nothing else she can do. At one point she was selling lipstick. And you see the connotation.
I have friends that have done some horrible sexual things in the college years. They put it behind them. I do not think it defines them.
I had a baby with an idiot at 23. I knew he was an idiot and it was super dumb to sleep with him. I am so glad I can look back and say I did a few risky things, but mostly my past is not scandalous. I think we are all capable of making some silly mistakes. This girl got her future ruined and she never had any chance with the president. I bet even Hillary feels sorry for her.
Jen, I agree fully with you regarding her age and the choices she made. Shit, I regret marrying an asshole. We will never know the real truth about her situation and her motivations. I suspect without a doubt he manipulated a young naive woman. However, there were opportunities I could have taken advantage of while I was dating and married to a cheater. It is about having self respect. Tempted but no thank you. Our choices get us where we land. There is a difference in saving the evidence our cheaters leave behind and the OW hanging on to the evidence of the cheater. In my opinion he wanted a blow job and she thought it would further her career. She like many OW was selfish and irresponsible.
No sympathy here.
Future ruined? She got a first class education and did jack shit with it. Other people survive scandal and reinvent. She’s the one IMO who can’t get over being Monica Lewinsky headliner.
Wikipedia’s entry states that prior to her affair with Bill Clinton, she was in a 5 year affair with another married man and her former high school drama instructor, Andy Bleiler. Intrepret that as you will.
yet one more piece of evidence that cheating is about poor *character.*
Flying Squirrel – Major daddy issues. Yikes!
Hooking up with powerful male figures who are already married–looking to “gain” power through sex and relationship and also “winning” out over the chumped wife. I’d say young narcissist.
Bingo! My ex married his mistress who is 10 years yonger. Her mantra is something like it’s not worth doing if you cant win..something stupid like that. The affair, him leaving and now wanting custody of our child so she can raise her is all a game to her. He’s a “powerful ” man and she is all about power, money and sex. Just like ML she loved being the other woman and had affairs with men who were unavailable. They are all disgusting, entitled whores who accuse ppl of “slut shaming” even though they are truly sluts.
“Aww…don’t any of you have stupid daughters? Or were stupid yourself, at intern age?”
Absolutely. But stupidity at an intern’s age is one thing…… letting decades go by without achieving anything beyond that stupidity, and STILL trotting it out for notoriety is another.
And somehow all the other young female interns and employees managed to resist snapping their thong panties at Clinton.
Could it be Monica’s issue is not lack of age in years but lack of character/moral fiber?
Sucks when the decisions that you make when you are 20 come around and bite you in the ass…shitty tattoo, the topless selfie on spring break…sucking the presidents dick. Yup, sucks to grow up and have to face head on the crap you thought was harmless. Grow the fuck up Monica….you are still sucking Bill’s dick…you are making a profit off your story. People still pay you to suck Bills dick…and you take that little check to the bank. You will go down in history as a dick sucking whore…ride that money train…seems its all you got. The degree on your wall…merely ornamental? Pitty that poor girl…I mean 41 yearold woman…
I hope Hilary gets in the big house….she can turn around and tell Monica…u can now suck my dick.
“I hope Hilary gets in the big house….she can turn around and tell Monica…u can now suck my dick.”
This literally made me laugh out loud. And every word is true. Monica is STILL sucking that dick, sucking for all she’s worth.
“suck my dick” is not only my favorite quote from the movie GI Jane. It also illustrates patriarchy in our culture perfectly. There is nothing female gender specific which says the same thing as “suck my dick”. Find me anything at all and I’ll stand down on that.
I am going to add “suck my dick chick” to the list of nicknames I have for x’s slut.
So what should she do? Change her name, get plastic sugury?
He was an asshole to take advantage of her. I say this, and I voted for him.
What would you have her do now?
Name change, honest job, and stop trying to make money off her salacious pass.
I admit he was the much bigger asshole.
I would have her shut the fuck up. Get out of the papers, volunteer with impoverished people who have REAL problems. Devote her time to something other than herself !
She would do well to contemplate the far-reaching and tragic consequences of HER actions.
While I would NEVER ask her to apologize for Mr. Clinton’s disgusting actions, she should apologize sincerely for HERS, and work toward honesty, through honorable work. It needn’t be charitable, but it should be of some value.
Instead she feels entitled to keep the scandal going, to play the victim, and ask someone to support her financially–more whorish behavior.
I might give her a pass if she showed any remorse for having been young and stupid, for sleeping with a married woman’s husband, for sleeping with a little girl’s married father. But she hasn’t done that, and I think this shows that she completely lacks character and trustworthiness.
It’s her choice to remain a political pawn. I cant decide if this makes her distastefully shrewd, or really, really stupid.
I DO find it remarkable that, once again, a powerful politician teaches us stupid citizenry that all you have to do during a scandal is lie and obfuscate until the public loses interest–then keep doing whatever the fuck you feel like doing. And this is the MO for both political parties. And you and I are paying the cost for all of it.
THIS! ^^^ It is my personal belief that many, if not all, of us do stupid things and make stupid decisions when we are young that we find cringe-worthy or downright embarrassing and/or horrifying when we mature. I did several things when I was younger that I would not want to be held up to scrutiny nor broadcast to the masses. Doing stupid things is, however much we hate it, a vital part of the maturation process.
I agree that Monica was young, impressionable, perhaps starstruck and probably flattered by the attention shown to her by one of the leaders of the free world (who in his real life is a selfish, self-centered, lecherous pig). Pretty heady stuff at that age. Bill manipulated her own belief in her “exceptionalness” and used it to take advantage of her. I don’t blame Monica for what Bill did. Bill betrayed his family, particularly his daughter.
I do, however, blame Monica for not taking what happened and using it as learning experience and a lesson from which to grow into a more compassionate, less navel-gazing person. I blame Monica for continuing to play the martyred victim while not acknowledging her own choice and willing participation in her victimization, as well as acknowledging how her choices may have hurt people (saying it and owning it and living it are two different things). I don’t blame her for being young and stupid. I do, however, hold her accountable for acting (being) entitled and craven. I hold her responsible for continuing to drag out that dead horse and try to ride it to the finish line. She knows better now, but she’s still not doing better. Instead of taking lemons and baking a lemon cake, she continues to suck on them and complain about the sour taste in her mouth.
She should do what she’ s best at. Looking at her degree hanging on the wall and giving blow jobs.
I’m with you TheClip. Maybe if she devoted her time to helping starving in orphans in Africa (or elsewhere) she could redeem herself. But otherwise nope. Either way STFU already. Her constant need to be in the spotlight shows she hasn’t changed at all.
Damn, though. Come to think of it, I WISH I had a topless selfie from my 20’s…. (Pre kids that is.) Huhn. Oh, to have been young and dumb and harmless. Tch!
I think she’s a narc. The highlight of her life, the only noteworthy thing she’s ever achieved, is sucking the POTUS’s dick. Without that event, she has nothing. Any normal person would have moved on, maybe changed her last name, gotten a job and lived a decent life. But narc Monica can’t let go, because that blow job and dress is her claim to fame. Even though it WAS shameful, and she deserved to feel humiliation (so did Clinton, but he’s also a narc) she is going to hang on for all she’s got because otherwise, she loses the spotlight. And as long as a narc is getting attention, s/he doesn’t care if that attention is actually embarrassing, or humiliating or shameful. They do not feel those emotions anyway.
Feminist? She’s the exact opposite.
Yes, this! Her memoir would consist of a single sentence: “I blew the president.” (“I gave B.J. a B.J.”?)
I thought Feminism meant NOT pandering to the Patriarchy– by NOT attempting to sleep one’s way up the ladder, for example.
There seems to be such a lack of insight on Lewinsky’s part. Yes, she was young and stupid, but she is a grown woman of 41. What’s her excuse now? Why does she still act like an clueless teenager, who doesn’t understand why she was the center of the storm? And why does she insist on continuing to make herself the victim? I get that people can be cruel and I am sure she experienced alot of humiliation. Still, I she had many opportunities (unavailable to many young people in our country) to make something of her life. Why hasn’t she? Because she chooses not to.
What did she do with the dress? Maybe she could auction it off and get her PHD
Monica Lewinsky gave oral sex to the leader of the free world 20 years ago and has been an outcast ever since. XH’s OW gave oral sex to my husband and he wrote her dissertation for her.
Shaming vs PhD.
Hmmm. Too bad MORE OW don’t suffer the indignity of slut shaming. Because using sex to get ahead is about as anti-feminist as it gets…
What is it about famous men that draws women like flies? Monica, Marla, whoever is married to Newt right now? I just read about the original astronauts and their wives. They were portrayed as Stepford wives and put up with it. Most of the marriages ended in divorce. The wives stayed in Houston and the husbands had their little Cape Cuties. Is there something in our DNA that makes us act like idiots over famous men? Have you looked at the Rolling Stones recently? One guy, who is about 200 years old, and ugly, dumped his wife and has a sweety about 20. I am ashamed every time I hear about another woman spreading wide. The excuse is that it is a holdover from needing the most powerful man in the tribe for the father of our children. Well, shit! What happened to gray matter that is suppose to control our urges. I guess most of us have the urge to kill someone at some point but most of us don’t. I don’t feel sorry for her. She is still trying to be famous. Most of us aren’t and she should be glad that she has been off our radar all this time. Bill Cinton’s footnote will ALWAYS be his affair. Hey! That’s it! She will be in history books.
“What is it about famous men that draws women like flies?”
There is no shortage of gold diggers out there. They pretend not to notice the man’s cheating, bad personality, ugly appearance or whatever is wrong, and in return, they get to live a lavish lifestyle. In other words, they are whores. And the men in these partnerships are just as gross. But I guess both are happy with their business arrangement.
I’d say that those women are “borrowing” power.
What bothers me about this kind of feminism is the underlying argument of “double standard.” The argument goes that the kinds of sexuality men “enjoy” without “being shamed” or being called slut for: such as having affairs while married or having sex with married women— women DO get slammed and shamed for. So, these “feminists” tout the “double standard” injustice. If men can have affairs with impunity so should WE!
This is the lamest form of feminism. First, it makes men’s sexual acts the models and feeds into the dominant practice, a practice that humiliates chumps and destabilizes lives. If feminism is anything, it is a social critique of injustice—looking at how our actions affect others and CHANGING. Hilary, in my opinion was wrong to fight for Bill when he was impeached. She stood by her man, but I would have much preferred voting for her had she given him the boot. Now she is a model of overlooking a spouses affair and making light of it. It is her choice, but places politics above human dignity.
This isn’t any kind of feminism I’ve ever heard. Gloria Steinem should be thinking twice – but this wouldn’t be the first dumb thing she’s said. Objections to slut-shaming are because women are shamed for being sexual, looking sexually enticing, or enjoying sex without its procreative purpose. I’ve never heard of anybody supporting infidelity as a feminist stance.
I agree with that objection to slut-shaming, but the “double standard” argument goes further as in this case. Bill Clinton was not slutified as ML, so the argument goes, although they did the same (him with way more power and influence), she gets the shame.
While this is true, what it does is take responsibility off of ML or other female cheaters because, hey, men don’t get called sluts so why should we? The result of this argument is that women should have the rights to all kinds of sexuality that men enjoy without being shamed, including having an affair.
The problem with that is obvious. Feminists should care about the power dynamics of all sex, and affairs place chumps in trauma—their stories are ignored. Enough said, let’s change the double standard argument and open up the discussion to include the affects of cheating on chumps and the power dynamics of sex. Women use sec all the time to make themselves feel superior to other women, it’s vicious sexual world out there. Why don’t we focus on that. How did Monica feel in relation to Hilary in all of this? That she was somehow better?
Women are called sluts for everything (from wearing too much makeup, short skirts, having sex at all—I was called a whore by my mother for going to jazz dance class for goodness sakes!), so let’s focus on the slut issue without demanding that women should be able to enjoy having affairs with married men or while married without any shaming because hey, men do. Let’s look at the dynamics.
The point for me is that the stop slut shaming lens is the wrong way of critiquing American sexuality norms, being called a slut affects girls from very young ages (There is a play called SLUT put on by high school students traveling the country http://www.feministpress.org/books/katie-cappiello/slut that brings these issues to light. My personal stake in this conversation is larger, I want sexuality NOT to be dominated by male power and female submission on all levels, having women take sexual power and use it without regard for how it effects others just as they always have and men always have is not the answer for me.
I struggle with this and have a pathetic sex life at the moment—had one too with ridiculous ex because he was addicted to porn and affairs. On a personal level, I am trying to find ways of enjoying sex that feel right to me on many levels at once. It does matter that I don’t harm myself or someone else through sex, it does matter that I have mutual loving uninhibited sex. But for now it’s all in my head ; )
So, maybe Monica’s brain wasn’t fully developed but there is still right and wrong. What I can relate to is her chatting it up with a “friend”. When my ex confessed he was having sex with one of his employees and exclaimed “no one else knows”. I said “watch me”. I called a “friend ” of hers that worked at the office and asked what she knew and of course she knew all about their sex-affair. Keeping these secret, clandestine affairs secret doesnt seem to work out.
Sorry, I have no sympathy for the narcissist woman who is now making $money$ off her supposed “shame” that she brought on herself. I had to stop reading the NY Times article in disgust when I got to the part where she compares herself to Tyler Clementi, the young gay man who committed suicide at Rutgers University. Does she seriously think that the media scrutiny she brought on herself when she decided to suck the president’s dick in the White House is ANYWHERE near that of a poor college kid who ended up killing himself because he was afraid his parents would find out he was gay.
I have no sympathy for her newly adopted cause of helping young victims of bullies or of “slut shaming.” While she was making her conscious choice to give the president blow jobs, Hillary Clinton was working with Marion Edelman to further the cause of young women and girls all over the world.
And I don’t feel sorry for her that David Letterman made fun of her, or whatever. She brought this all on herself. And it’s irrelevant that she was 22 at the time. If she wants to “live a quiet life” and “find her identity” I’ve got some advice – GO AWAY PLEASE. Get out of the media. Get out of the limelight. Please!!!
!!!! She compared herself to Tyler Clementi? WTF. Thanks for the warning so I don’t read the article.
Why do instigators of wrong always want to compare themselves to true victims? Oh, right–the narc’s favorite tool is to inspire pity for themselves.
I recall at the time of her ‘purse line launch’ she was moaning her embarrassment regarding her last name had become a euphemism for a blow job. Well, sorry hunny bunny.
Just get a name change then! I’m an attorney, we do these all the time for various reasons, they are easy and cheap. If she wanted to be “left alone,” it would be quite easy. I will have a hard time watching Alan Cummings’ intro’s to my favorite PBS Masterpiece shows now.
Exactly, Tempest! They see a sob story, they always have a worse one! Oh, woe is me!
“Slut shaming”? If you’re a slut, you deserve to be shamed. Period. Not told ‘oh boo boo its okay’.
ML is a narc. Instead of going away and hiding in a hole for being ‘ashamed’ of what she did many years ago, shes still making money off the act she performed and generally acting like a jackarse in the media.
No remorse, and no sympathy from me. And I’m not even American.
So true–slut shaming of a 13 year old who wears a belly shirt to school is deplorable. Slut shaming of an adulterous slut…. can’t get too worked up over it.
My feelings exactly. “Slut shaming” is such an overused, ridiculous term that I’d like to take a tire iron to whomever came up with it. Everyone gets so worked up over it. Hey—sorry you don’t like being called a whore, but if you’re whoring around with married men and screw everything that moves—you’re a whore. If you suck a lot of dick, you’re a whore. I don’t care if you’re 22 or 42–age isn’an excuse for a lack of integrity & morals. Don’t expect everyone to refrain from slut shaming you—you earned that all on your own. And the whole “me too” thing has become a friggin’ joke—especially when it excuses whores like ML and tries turning them into “victims”. I call bullshit.
I have not followed Monica’s story at all. I am curious if she has ever expressed remorse or publicly stated that what she did was wrong.
What I notice in the current public discourse about her post-OW shameful (and disgusting) behavior is how easily the narrative is manipulated. Pundits and entertainers feel sorry for her! They erase her red letter! If she has not really “grown up” or developed a moral compass, as I suspect, i think she is still a very good manipulator. and still very narcisistically entitled. what other kind of personality would do what she did, then and now?
not one i respect. or even feel sorry for (and i have the “chump gene”!).
forgot to add – anyone else having reactions to Prince Charles’ OW getting the royal treatment this week at the White House and beyond? Grrrrr.
I’m enjoying the idea that the Queen is going to refuse to die before Charles does……
I agree. No one mentions they were having a big time affair against Dianna. It’s like all is forgotten and aren’t they marvelous? No, they’re both ugly inside and out. It’s like we(chump nation) say over and over. No one gets it unless it has happened to them. What he ever saw in that ugly woman is beyond me. He could’ve kept his beautiful wife. Talk about a downgrade.
Want compassion? Show remorse first. Yes, yes and yes! Today I was feeling bad for not offering compassion to someone who screwed me over. But then again, I remembered that the reason I didn’t is because they. have. never. apologized. That’s why I didn’t then and that’s why I think it’s okay now. I think I saw something recently, a meme maybe, about a boy saying “I was going to ask God for a bicycle but then I remembered that’s not how it works. So I stole it and just asked for forgiveness”. Exactly: you want my forgiveness by just being like ‘oops’. Whatever.
I agree. It is as if she doesn’t think she has done anything wrong. Take the fame, power, politics out of the equation, she knowingly had an affair with a married man. Years later, has she ever acknowledged her part in all this? No, because I don’t think she believes she did anything wrong.
Good point. My ex didn’t seem to think he had done anything wrong either, and I don’t think the OW felt she had either.
I read a few excerpts from her TED talk, and from what I could tell, it all centered around the word “mistake.” As JC put it so well in a comment on yesterday’s post: “Mistakes are bad outcomes from good intentions.”
Monica did not have good intentions. Stupid, young, in the thrall of power, manipulated by much craftier folk than her–yes to all of that. But she also intentionally put on that thong and bent over. She intentionally saved that dress. She intentionally sucked a dick. Not one of her actions during the affair were mistakes.
Secondly, its not a mistake, it was a fucking choice. And many choices at that.
Dumb skank she is….
Monica is such a narcissist… right out of their playbook. They do what feels good, and then get mad when they don’t like the consequences. She was an unpaid intern due to family connections. She revealed her covert narcissism by seducing Bill and keeping the evidence. She was betrayed by a “friend”. (Do adulteresses have good friends?) When she realized the consequences of what she did, she claimed to be a victim of other’s judgement. People were mean to me! A red flag for sociopath’s is they play the sympathy card.
I think Hillary was an odd case for spackling. She said Bill told her he was ‘mentoring” someone, and she too lashed out at other’s who were telling her the truth (denying reality). She got judged for her reaction. She is paying a price for staying with a cheater pants.
Everyone associated with her has lost.
I have empathy for the mistakes Monica made as an intern. I also know the pressure and fear she must have felt once the spotlight turned on her was unimaginable. She was victimized by all sorts of people and institutions that wanted to use her error to forward their own agenda (expose the president, force his resignation, belittle Hilary Clinton etc.)
But it is long past time for her to claim her own agency. She is either too stupid to realize that doors are suddenly opening for her because some people want to use her old error to forward their own agenda–again, or she’s so conniving that she is trying to profit off the pain her mistake caused someone else–i.e. Hilary. Neither interpretation leaves me any room to respect her.
A woman of integrity would have nothing more to say than, “In regard to my behavior 20 years ago, I can only offer my continuing apologies for the harm and distress I caused Mrs. Clinton. I was wrong then, and I have learned to mind my own business now.”
“Lewinsky makes great plays for everyone’s pity, utterly ignoring the fact that she had sex with another woman’s husband. She wants compassion? Monica, show me your REMORSE first.”
At least she could never say “I didn’t know that he was married.”
I noticed that that’s the first thing sympathisers suggest about a woman chasing married man…..”But, but but, maybe, just she didn’t know he was married.”
I think with most men, you will find out quickly.
…because one has to be of the “ultraright wing” to have a problem with committing adultery?! Really, I do not hear one note of remorse in all of her writing in this. Nowhere do I see her say that what she did was wrong. She was just a victim is what this comes across as saying. Pathetic. Maybe her struggle to find steady work stems from this pathological problem of lost agency…when will she realize she had the power to make choices and has the power now to choose to avoid the limelight. Oh, that’s right, she is just “the victim.”
So, it was a “mistake” and the “worst version of herself” but why not take that as an opportunity to demonstrate character growth? Missed opportunity there.
I choked a bit when I read Steinem’s comment that it was the “ultraright” that “targeted” her. No, the right used her; the left targeted her, slut-shamed her, and fat-shamed her (Linda Tripp, too) for making the affair public and embarrassing a president they liked. That it was Clinton’s choice to f*** around on his wife was usually overlooked or only given the barest of acknowledgments.
Hate Lewinsky and hate Linda Tripp all you want, just please do me a favor and make sure you’re hating Bill Clinton more.
Spot on as always chump lady! I was a little bummed out to read about Steinem’s response to all of this. I agree that the least feminist thing you can do is poach another woman’s husband.
Bill was definitely more culpable since he had the power and he was married but Monika knew what she was doing too. She was young sure, but she set out to seduce him and then kept the evidence (giant ewwwwww).
I get that we all have errors in judgement when we’re young and we definitely don’t always make the right choices-that’s right Monika-what you did was a choice and not a mistake-but let it go already woman! She should be so beyond all that history at this point.
The only thing that’s recognizable is her name and you can change those; although I don’t recommend it if you live in Massachusetts!
Get over yourself Monika!
I gotta say, I find it very ironic that a number of posters here took an opportunity to dump thoroughly on Hillary. on the other day’s thread …and she’s a chump… yet, here we are talking about Ms. Lewinsky.
(For the record, I think Lewinsky’s attempts to make a living off the notoriety of being a famous married man’s mistress is reprehensible. And suspect. And gross.)
But I also think anyone with half a brain who has stood in the grocery line can tell that Bill Clinton is completely and utterly at fault. Not only in his marriage (where he’s such a notorious cheater) but in the power relationship–I mean, not just “her boss” but POTUS, and a 21 year old intern. Yuck. Abuse of power, and the icky-est sort of narcicissm. IMHO.
But then what do we make of the people like Lucianne Goldberg who made a lifetime and a living out of picking at the bones of the Clinton marriage, like a bunch of carrion vultures? And her idiot son Jonah (cough nepotism cough) Goldberg.
The whole spectacle is grotesque. Short of the leaving the marriage…(which of course I would be in favor of, but I’m not in it.).. I think Hillary has done a damned good job of holding on to her dignity, her professionalism, her poise, and everything else that matters. Go sister, go.
I agree; Hillary was a victim here. I wish she’d dumped Bill’s sorry ass, but none of us know what happens fully in other people’s marriages.
I believed the first time an affair was in the media and still do; the Clintons have a deal going. Hillary is too damn savvy, she is no chump. She knows what he is and has an accomodation with him, she wants to be president, it’s her turn.
Bill Clinton is a man whore, and Monica was his dick sucker. Poor thing, she moans about compassion, but where was her compassion for Hillary the whole time she was giggling in the Oval Office and sucking Bill’s old dick.
Monica is has resurfaced and is sticking it to Hillary once again, where is the compassion today.
It’s obvious Monica has an agenda and it’s to humiliate Hillary in her campaign for President.
I like what the Poster TheClip said, maybe when Hillary is president Monica “can suck her dick”
I read today that you can buy Gummi-dicks, so you really can tell someone to eat a bag of dicks (alas, not salted 🙁 ) and send them some!
Hillary has a dick? Yeah. I guess I can see that. Maybe it caused her cankles.
WTF, Arnold? What did she ever do to you? Hilary is a chump, despite her own choices, for crying out loud.
What happened to sympathy for other chumps, or is that reserved for people who meet your standards?
Wow. Just wow.
that doesn’t explain yours Arnold, that’s some nasty shit but then I remember, MRA.
I feel bad for her. But someone mentioned her Dickinson being suckered so I wondered.
Warren Farrell has nice ankles.
Best anagram for Monica Lewinsky: “Lo, my wank is nice!”
Nomar–lol, that anagram is masterful! I used to do them all the time but haven’t in years; I need to do one for my former idiot. I believe this should become a new contest–who’s cheater’s name makes the most outrageous or appropriate anagram.
BTW–Spiro Agnew= grow a penis
Haha. I cheated…so to speak…and used an Anagram maker…Crapweasel came back as “Naked Swinish” pretty good stuff.
That site is awesome namedforvera! I just put the ex crapweasel’s name in there and the best one was “Measly Event”. Sex with him was definitely a measly event!
uh oh….gonna hijack the thread~
My idiot had so many apt anagrams to choose from. The best include
A karma noised (I am NOT kidding!!!)
Drama sea oink
A sardine amok
Mania sea dork
Aroma snake Id
There were over 13,000 to choose from, I got these from the first 1000
The “hall of fame” is amazing section will blow your mind–great entertaiment
I just got a message, “too many people are using the site.” Is all of CL on there getting anagrams for their cheaters?
I went back for more—-hold onto your hats for the next ones:
A karma dies on
A karma does in
A karma dis one
A naked roams I
A dream as oink
I am at a loss to determine which is the best so far. There are still about 10,000 more to peruse.
FYI—it gives you the first 1000 but in order to see additional anagrams, go to the advanced search and set it for ‘all’
I got “cot penis tv”
Anal quid jeez. bwahahahahaha!
I also liked CL’s double entendre, Monica “tried her hand at….”
I was never a fan of this drama, as someone said above, why give it so much attention. Also by coming down so harshly on her, we are essentially letting Bill walk away scott free, lets not forget he is the one who cheat on his wife. She was young and stupid and has the right to move on with her life, he (and Hilary) have given the world a horrible example of what affairs do to marriages. I doubt they are even together, but put up a front for the press so Hilary can get ahead. I cant imagine why Hilary would put up with this for 20 years and on the public international stage, she is clearly in it for her own gain, that marriage died 20 years ago. The entire thing is a sham, and has reached a level of ridiculous.
I agree with everything you just said. Hilary is not a chump and never was a chump. Bill was cheating LONG before Lewinsky (I know people in their little Arkansas circle). Hilary did everything to further her career and launch Chelsea the best she could. It’s a marriage of convenience and both parties knew it so no harm no foul. Hillary was just mad that it was made public.
My goodness, I would really love to know Chelsea’s real thoughts on cheating etc. Did she have therapy? etc. If we just think of her as another kid whose family was smashed by cheating, wow. Plus all the fame & glitz, which seems pretty poisonous to me all by itself (and I think that’s what Lewinsky is infected with.) Chelsea seems very smart to me…at 100th hand…. I just wonder what her feelings are.
In a different universe, Monica & Chelsea could have been colleagues. What a waste.
Bill Clinton is by far the bigger asshole. No question. I just hate that she is STILL capitalizing on her notoriety, trying to garner sympathy for herself and has never apologized. Yes it was an abuse of power, Clinton was a pig, but she participated willingly — and keeps trying to make a buck off it.
Hillary is a chump many times over – remember the slew of women who claimed to have had affairs with Clinton. Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones? She should have tossed him out decades ago.
There is only one word to describe her and it rhymes with “ore”.
And at this point, 20 years out, the word is “bore.”
I love you, Chump Lady! You always tell it like it is with these whores.
She should legally change her last name and use her middle name instead of her first name if she REALLY does not want to have her past highlighted in the future.
Bill CLinton IS a horndog (or was). I lived in Hope, Arkansas in 1982 and then again from 1986-1990. CLInton was rumoured to come in town sometimes to bonk the lady that was married to the local gym owner. Don’t know if that is true, but everyone in Hope knew he was like that.
As for the comments about her age, I don’t agree with everything I did myself at that age but at least I take responsibility for it.
Are we forgetting that it “takes two to tango”? The level of disgust here for Monica is certainly understandable, and would be acceptable if it were matched by the same level of disgust for Bill too. They both engaged, willingly, in the affair. She was placed into the limelight by Linda Tripp (someone she thought was a friend) and by her own actions. However, while her name will always be synonymous with “blowjob”, Bill has been allowed to lead a relatively charmed life since this occurred. How many folks look at Bill and think “blowjob” or “blue dress”. His extramarital affairs are notorious- Gennifer Flowers, anyone? It’s easy to feel sorry for Hilary, but part of me thinks she chooses to eat the shit sandwiches. Turn a blind eye to what Bill does; gain success & power by staying. Laying the blame solely on Monica is like saying your cheater was entrapped, ladies. Bullshit. She flashed her panties, he indulged. Both share the blame.
Thank you! I was starting to believe that I was the only person that couldn’t see that a young girl was taken advantaged of…. Yes, she needs to shut up and get over it but her life was RUINED. No one was ever going to take her seriously again. No man was ever going to marry her. She has paid for that mistake. She has paid more than anyone should ever pay. She’s still screwed up? Yep, I wonder why. Let’s step off her and focus on someone more deserving….
As I recall at one point Monica was engaged. I wonder what happened……
I have three young daughters. They are not quite 20, but, I can see how some young person could do something really dumb and immoral like this and still not be a lost cause. I sympathize with her. She was still pretty much a kid and there was such a disparity in power and experience. Clinton is a complete worm.
Except that she INITIATED CONTACT with Clinton. Lowly interns do not get access to the president. How did she? By DELIBERATELY bending over so he could see her thong in a public setting.
Because if we let her off the hook, we have to let all the young cheaters off the hook, too, some of whom very deliberately did things to put themselves in the orbit of married men/women.
Unless it is sexual harassment outright, a consensual affair after age 18 means both parties are to blame–perhaps not equally, but both share responsibility and problems with character.
Thank you, Tempest! X’s AP was Monica’s age, and I’m not letting her off the hook – she knew very well what she was doing, helping to break up a family with young kids. She’s every bit a slimeball dirt bag as X.
Kira–Yes, just found out 3 weeks ago that my X’s grad-slut demanded he call me to ask for a divorce from me and his 5- and 10-year old daughters WHILE she stood at his elbow. What kind of cruel people do that–allow a very private moment between a couple to become a public spectacle? Oh, right, narcissists.
You think that SHE initiated contact with the POTUS? Seriously delusional. And so what if she bent over and showed her thong? That’s like saying a rape victim was asking for it. I’m amazed at the vitriol here about a 22 year old. Whatever she’s doing now I dont care. I do care that the PRESIDENT of our United States took advantage of a young girl. She will never be normal. Her life was ruined.
YES, she did initiate contact with the president, and it is public knowledge (See below). She had also had a 5-year affair with a married high school teacher by the time she got to the WH. So YES, she is responsible–split it 40/60 with him bearing most of the blame; fine. And some of our cheaters’ APs were 22–I can assure you from what I know of the facts of my own cheating case that despite a discrepancy in power, my X’s whore DELIBERATELY set out to sleep with him and break up his family. Women can be narcissists, too, and many are quite happy to sleep their way to the top. Monica was not Paula Jones, who I believe was sexually harassed by Clinton; Monica instigated this affair, and Bill bit. She helped ruin her own life–she could have washed the dress, could have gone off to a life with more integrity.
Early July: Monica S. Lewinsky begins work as an intern in the White House chief of staff’s office.
THIS >>>>>>Nov. 15: During the government shutdown, Clinton visits the chief of staff’s office for a birthday party. Lewinsky lifts her jacket and shows him the straps of her thong underwear. Then he invites Lewinsky to his private study, where they kiss. Later that evening, they have a more intimate sexual encounter during which he takes a call from a member of Congress.”
I am not defending ML. And your information on how the “affair” started is completely dependent upon the press release. We will never really know exactly what happened. Bill Clinton could have said anything to the press and they would’ve printed it. Let’s at least be real about that. I’m not even slightly defending her actions. She is guilty. And the bimbo that set out to ruin your marriage is guilty too. The true blame always remains on the married man (or woman). The bimbo/MLewinsky never promised you or Hillary friendship or faithfulness. I feel that Monica got beat up enough (see your press release assuring everyone that SHE started it). The true culprit always walks away unscathed.
I’m not trying to be unfeeling or stubborn. I won’t keep arguing the point. I’m sorry if I offended anyone.
Bev–have to respond to you here, as there is no “reply” beneath your answer.
I agree with you that Clinton deserves MORE blame–due to his age, his power position, etc. From the moment Clinton gave his first convention speech (years before he ran for president), I told my then-H, “Clinton is not trustworthy.” Something about the body language, the outright NEED to be accepted. He’s a sexually moral slug. In the grand scheme of things, his contributions to society will be seen as outweighing his sexual laxness. Perhaps that is fair, perhaps not (in a total cost-benefit analysis).
Had Lewinsky herself not admitted to deliberately flashing her thong to the Pres, and to the sex being consensual (“Sure, my boss took advantage of me, but I will always remain firm on this point: it was a consensual relationship.”), I would agree with you more.
Perhaps where we do agree is in Lewinsky’s own statement, “Any ‘abuse’ came in the aftermath, when I was made a scapegoat in order to protect his powerful position.” Yes, she suffered more than him–because of his power, because of his political contributions, because he was a man. I simply think she has contributed to her own suffering in so many ways that could have been avoided. And the comparison to Tyler Clementi galls me to NO end–I know that case well, and that poor boy was a PURE VICTIM. Monica–not so much.
There was a case of a UCLA student who posted an anti-Asian, frankly racist video on Youtube several years ago. As a result of the backlash, she ended up dropping out of UCLA. Neither Monica nor the former UCLA student suffered consequences commensurate with their crimes; both suffered more than any jury would have sentenced them. But neither was innocent in their own downfall, is what I was arguing (and both were old enough to be accountable for their actions). Perhaps, Bev, you and I agree more than we don’t.
If her life is ruined, it is because she ruined it. Yes, Bill Clinton is an ass, but that wasn’t the subject of today’s post. It was about how, 22 years later, Lewinsky still does not own her shit. Arnold, I have 2 daughters who are young adults. They would never, ever chase after a married man! Yes, even 22 year olds have morals! So quit acting like they don’t!
I doubt she I initiated contact. Look at Clinton’s history in this area.
Arnold, my X and I married at 21 and after years of cheating and putting the pieces together I realized he had been lying from the beginning of our relationship. I can’t ‘see’ or excuse his behavior as being dumb and immoral because of his age. He didn’t get caught then because I was young and believed he was committed. I have two beautiful daughters and throughout the years I was told they could be models and enter beauty pageants. I taught both of them not to rely on their looks and provided them with the skills they needed to be independent as adults. A twenty year old woman is an ADULT not a kid. The issue with cheaters is they have NO remorse and blame their actions on others. They continue to inflict pain on their spouses and children. Cheaters, regardless of their age choose their path and should have consequences. Both Monica and Bill cheated and thought as all assholes do that they could get away with it and continue with the affair. I can empathize with my daughters when they do something wrong and provide guidance when they are young. Monica’s only mistake was to get caught, and she anticipated this by saving evidence. She is a calculating whore in my eyes. I imagine her thinking, if I do this I will further my career, if I don’t I have evidence to use against the president. My, my, that does sound familiar. A young selfish narcissist at 21. She rode the notoriety bus for years and capitalized on her role. Her need for ATTENTION is timed perfectly, don’t you think? Monica could have made something of herself HAD she openly and sincerely displayed her remorse. She could have been humble and learned from her experience. Narc’s rarely do. No empathy for the OW will come from this chump. Hillary, is a role model as a strong independent woman in my book. I love it when she holds her head up high.
Lots of folks seem to think of Clinton as a slime and remember the cheating. I would say at least as many as do Lewinski.
I think they’re both equally slimy.
Yes, he defiled the office of President and he’s a cheater and a liar but Chump Lady’s post is about Monica, which is why I think there are more comments about her than about Slick Willie. Maybe that’s a topic for its own post.
I’m all for shaming cheaters — as long as we shame both parties involved.
I think Bill Clinton was a good president — AND a total douchebag who is at least equally responsible for their affair. Are we all as upset with him as we are at Lewinsky?? Are we willing to make the same kind of fun of him?? If not, why? If it’s because he was a good president, had a legit career, was smarter, then we’re headed down a slippery slope of what character flaws it’s OK to overlook given how much “game” the cheater has, especially in relation to the IQ and career prospects of their affair partner. I say that’s BS.
Another case in point: I don’t see near as much ink (here or elsewhere) mocking Gen. Patraeus as Paula Broadwell…. this despite several published sources who claim the good old general always surrounded himself with “brunette hard bodies.” Broadwell was doing her dissertation on Patreaus when she met him. No doubt flattered, he carefully tucked yet another brunette hard body under his wing, then invited her to be “embedded” with him in a war zone. No question — she’s a total tramp and should be shamed for it. But so should he. Where is all the vitriol for him? Are we making fun of his arms, his attempts to rehab his image? (Which are considerable BTW – the man is a PR machine who carefully dispatches his message to key reporters through a battalion of savvy supporters so he can appear to be quietly taking his lumps. This was the same battalion that quickly spread the story that Patraeus was some kind of victim of her aggressive feminine wiles… yep, a 4-star general who runs under 6-minute miles just couldn’t fend her off).
Patraeus lost his job but is still a huge power player in Washington. He enjoys broad sympathy on the Hill for having survived his shortcomings, with several major figures publicly pining away for his expeditious return to decision-making military roles around the globe. Broadwell? A West Point grad with a legit military career, 2 master’s degrees (one from Harvard), pursuing a PhD and one day, a job as National Security Advisor – she’s both a joke and the punchline – just like Lewinsky.
I don’t have sympathy for either Broadwell or Lewinsky. Kick the cheaters to the curb; but let’s use the same sharp boot on both halves of the cheating pair.
Yeah, he is a slime ball and so is she. I feel bad for both their spouses.
Interestingly though, both Petraeus and Broadwell remain married to their spouses. I keep thinking that someday I am going to read that one or both couples have split – but no. How Holly Petraeus, who is apparently a formidable woman in her own right, can stand by her man, I don’t know. Perhaps she and Hillary have had a few conversations.
Silda Spitzer stood by her man, too, and they filed for divorce last year. In the end, I think it takes too much pain & effort to stay in a relationship marred by infidelity.
Our prurient tendencies to focus on who was doing what to whom should have no place in our job evaluations, UNLESS it directly influences the job in some way. If I like to swing from the chandelier while drinking champagne and consorting with my lover — it should be no one’s business, as long as I am not stepping outside the bounds of my “official” relationship, or using my influence at work to further my lover’s career.
I don’t believe my bedroom preferences should have any influence on what I do at my job. I also do not talk about it at work, I do not profess to be perfect, and I never ever would be interested in going into politics,.
Unfortunately for Clinton and Patraeus, they were in powerful and very public positions, and surrounded by people who watch everything they do with a giant spy glass. There is no privacy anyway, but particularly in government. I don’t think anyone gives these guys a pass for what they did, and I certainly do not put all the blame on the women involved. However, it is almost stereotypical that powerful men have affairs. It really would be more unusual if they did not. I suppose the affair partners are seeking some of the “glow” that the powerful can provide. Whatever the reason, it is sad for those who provide the aura of normalcy for these players. They are the ones who are really damaged.
I believe we still call that the sexual double standard, and yeah, unfortunately, it’s very real. Wish it were not so, since I too am a mother of an early-20’s young lady. Heartbreaking.
True, but if my 19-year old ever engaged in behavior the likes of Monica, I would ream her up side and down the other. Twenty year-olds may not be fully mature, but they are not 3 year-olds either, and they know right from wrong.
Good point! and yeah, I believe that I raised mine not to do that shit… if I ever found out she did, she’d have a Transcontinental Mommy-storm visit, of super embarrassing proportions.
Seriously, Tempest I agree. Nominally 21 year olds are in control of their behavior, and they really *should* know better. Should. ugh.
We are not too hard on lewinsky or Broadwell, but yes, we could be a lot harder on Petraeus and Clinton!
Exactly – they are all equally disgusting, and there is a double standard. But I agree with all the posters who have said that Monica clearly is a narc herself – she could have moved on, and instead is still enjoying the limelight. Thanks babe for being the reason millions of American parents had to explain to their young children what oral sex was…classy.
And I remember thinking at the time, “Wearing a thong and flashing your boss is what gets you dudes? Awesome. I’m going to be single forever.” No, just married to another dickhead cheater who enjoyed the company and services of lots of slunty Monica’s… Shudder.
I agree both cheaters are accountable. My sympathy goes to the chumps. Holly Petraeus, Hillary Clinton. When any cheater of whatever position, OW, or the Big Powerful Dude, or whatever start with the I’m The Real Victim Here schtick, it gets my dander up.
Gets my dander up too. Broadwell and Lewinsky are headcases.
There’s another chump in this who rarely gets mentioned – Scott Broadwell. He has my sympathy too. Judging by his or Paula’s Facebook page, it would seem he’s still doing a lot of (at least public) spackling… hope he comes to his senses and one day joins our ranks.
That is because Scott is a member of the patriarchy, an oppressor, no doubt.
APs don’t show remorse…from my limited experience. Among other phrases, my wife’s AP said to her, “Sorry that your marriage is so bad,” and, “You’re the one who’s married; not me.”
My all-time favorite was when he said to my wife, “I get jealous when I think about you having sex with other men.”
I’d call this “ironic”…but he clearly wouldn’t understand what that means.
Yuppers…Crapweasel’s AP Dr. Hoe said to me that it was all his fault, as if she wasn’t right there in the bed with him! Egregious lack of standards/boundaries meet slutty lack of morality and lots of entitlement. And I don’t even know who is who!
I’d say it’s pretty much the same all ’round, per the Universal Cheater Handbook we all know.
The difference here is that Lewinsky is coming back all these years later and trying to make money off poor little exploited her. Blergh.
I mean if Dr. Hoe tried to give a talk (bwa ha ahh aha ha) about her life as a multi-time mistress, I don’t really think she’d get much traction.
I kind of see where Monica is coming from, she’s a nobody and Bill Clinton has continued to build his brand and bank account. Her battle is about wanting turd equality.
The really weird thing it’s like a battle of the turds, turd Monica and turd Bill. In the world of turds sometimes the toilets don’t flush properly. Turd Bill is still there floating in the toilet, and Monica turd is demanding to use the plunger so she can get back to floating in the toilet too.
Love it, PF.
“A battle of the turds.” Kill myself laughing!
Per Wikipedia, in 1992, M. L. started a five year affair with her former high school drama teacher , who was married. So Mr. Clinton was not her first trip to the rodeo, apparently.
I view both parties in the Clinton/Lewinsky episode with an equally low opinion. They are both serial cheaters, and neither showed real remorse.
Hmmm….Monica had a long term affair with her high school drama teacher, she supposedly was also the baby sitter. It ended when the wife found out.
Way to go Monica, first the drama teacher and then the President and then a Ted Talk spotlight.
Those crocodile tears are impressive.
This is how easy it is….when I was 14, I was hired to babysit for an infant. The parents were the adult children of some friends of my mother and one graduated from high school with my older sister. The baby slept pretty much all day, every day, so I was tasked to do light household chores.
One day, the husband (in my mind, he must have been around 24-25?) came home early from his job as a fireworks assembler (wife was a secretary at the same employer). I was sitting on the sofa, which had a lower back.
He said he was just “checking in” on the baby. Okay. A little bit of talk. I’m getting a little nervous as to why he is there. Am I in trouble of some sort? Am I about to get fired?
I was sitting on the sofa and he walked around to the back of it, put his hand into the back of my hair—in an INSTANT—tugged my head backwards and planted a kiss right on my mouth.
There was no ambiguity in my 14 year old mind. He got a slap and I got the fuck out of there. I ran home and called my mother. I told her everything.
Of course, he lied, said it never happened. He and his wife never spoke to my mother again, nor did their parents. My mother was angry at me at first, because she wasn’t sure if I’d just made it up in order to not work that summer—but then she realized that I didn’t have enough experience in that department to invent that.
It’s easy. Some strange thing might happen unexpectedly, when someone is planning something you’re not aware of—and might get away with a grope or a quick kiss—but BOUNDARIES prevent further interaction.
Was I traumatized? You bet. I never babysat again–to this day I look at “Honey, I’ll drive the sitter home” as an OPENING. That husband is either attempting to put the moves on someone younger and more impressionable—or babysitter is putting the moves on husband and he doesn’t mind.
Either way, I DROVE THE SITTER HOME. Period.
I was 14 years old at the time, and I had the moral fortitude to tell this asshole to fuck off and die. What is ML’s problem? Or Bill’s?
I don’t give those two “political animals” a pass because of their “situation”. There is no separation between PERSONAL INTEGRITY and PROFESSIONAL INTEGRITY.
Cheaters and power go together.
As a young man, I worked in a Hallmark card shop and my older, female boss was hitting g on me constantly. She was married.
In college I was always getting my ass grabbed by women.
So she gets sympathy from Barbara Walters and David Letterman. What a surprise. I guess cake is cake, but I get this image of vampires trying to feed off each other.
I know this is not going to be a popular opinion but I listened to one of her TedX Talks and I though she made many good points and was well spoken. It is easy to judge someone else when we haven’t been in the same position.
Personally I am not as saintly as the rest of you and when I was in my early twenties I made some doozy mistakes. At 16 I was seduced by a “friend” of the family who was married and who said he was sterile yet I got pregnant. No one seemed to care that I was barely 16 and he was in his early 30’s; everyone was screaming “How could you???” at me. I was the whore, the tramp and I “did” it to his wife. I wore the
sackcloth and ashes for most of my life, being anorexic from the time I had the baby and was forced to give it up for adoption to my mid 30’s, I had irrational fear that i would be punished and never have a child I could keep and almost didn’t because I got cervical cancer. I was able to have my son before they gave my a hysterectomy when I was 28. It wasn’t until I started researching Narcissists in my 50’s that I realized that is what this guy was and I was a child who was groomed and taken advantage of and I never should have been shamed like I was. In the mean time all the guys thought I was easy and I felt all I was good for was blowjobs and sex. I was 20 when a 40 something married man hit on me at a party, he wasn’t the president of the country, only the president of the motorcycle club my boyfriend and I belonged to. My boyfriend and I had a fight, I got drunk and well we got caught kissing by the guy’s wife. We hadn’t had sex and I am sure we wouldn’t have but it was wrong and it destroyed their marriage, Yes he had done it many times in the past so it was not just me but she caught us kissing and that was the straw. I was mortified at the time and I apologized and I never did anything like it again and I feel that is the key; does the person learn anything and do they change their way.
I don’t know very many people who have nothing in their past they are sorry about, thank God most of us are not in the public eye and don’t have all our mistakes on the front page of every newspaper in the world. Where everyone turned against us, our best friend, the man we love and the whole world joining in a chorus of slut shaming. Hilary was the “stand by her man pillar of devotion and Monica was a scourge on society and Clinton was just a normal “man”. The truth of the matter is, he was a lot older than Monica and he was the president of the USA which does put him in the position of power with a young impressionable woman who was barely an adult. I doubt she ripped his pants off, pulled out his dick and sucked on it while he desperately tried to fight her off. I feel that when there is a huge age difference and the man is in an extremely powerful position the majority of the blame lies squarely on his shoulders. He was the president of the USA, keep your dick in your pants!! I am sure that if he would have told Monica to leave him the Fuck alone and not encouraged her she would have disappeared into the woodwork.
I have been told more than once I need to move on with my life and take up a nice hobby, do painting or write my blog about something like gardening or my dog; and that I am attention seeking by speaking about my abusive relationship. God forbid I make any money off of it. In my estimation we should learn form our mistakes and if we can share the knowledge with others and help others who come behind us. And I am not going to shut up about it because I feel I am turning a bad experience into a positive by helping others who are going through it. If Monica can get through to some of these teenagers who are killing themselves because they made a mistake and no one is letting them forget it and preventing suicides I say, “Go for it Monica!! if she can make a buck doing it? Go on ya Monica!” Personally I like to see her turning a negative experience into a positive one.
Just my humble opinion
Yeah. But when she starts comparing herself to someone who genuinely was in a shit situation, when she is just out for more money and isn’t remorseful at all, that’s when the line is drawn. Shes not sorry about the choices she made in her past – after all, its a cash cow for her!
In your situation, its generally not a good idea that if you yourself know you’re going to do something very stupid, to further lower your inhibitions and get completely shitfaced. Sex or no sex, theres no excuse for it. Theres also no excuse for doing that sort of stuff after ‘having a fight’ with your partner – you don’t get to do stuff like that unless you’re single, and even then its quite seedy.
16 is way too young to be treated like that.
many people have something they AREN’T sorry for
And Lewinsky is one of them. She clearly has not an ounce of remorse for what she did. Just read how she portrays what she did; it’s as if she thinks she had this great love affair that no one will acknowledge. “When I was 22, I fell in love with my boss.” Really, that is how she views what she did. Barf.
Exactly violet. That first line pissed me off!! Really you fell in love with your boss at 22? No dearie at 22 you sucked a married mans dick and kept going back for more because you’re an IDIOT! And now of course she’s a victim!
She deliberately set out to seduce a married man (how easy he was to seduce is on him). She wanted to feel like she had power over him, by successfully manipulating him. It made her feel more powerful than the President! And she kept the dress as a possible tool if she needed more power over him later.
A lot of us got married had kids for all kinds of reasons at a young age, but we did it. Sure, some of us were ignorant about what marriage entailed and after the burst of the “happily ever after” bubble, still stayed in our marriages.
Monica was old enough to know she was giving a blow job to a married man in a high position just like I was old enough to marry.
Bill was old enough to know he was getting a blow job from someone other than his wife just like I would know if I was getting **** from someone other than my husband.
Two consenting adults.
Two self centered, it’s-all-about-me humans.
Morally, two losers. BOTH
Business wise? Monica is shrewd or, at the very least, knows how to employ someone who is shrewd to make money on her “mistake”.
Politically? Bill is a master.
As far as getting married after scandal? If Linda Lovelace can find a good man, so can Monica.
Excellent, CalamityJ–you’ve hit many nails on the head.
Absolutely. Last I heard Patty Hearst was still happily married to her jailer and has put her enormously bad press successfully behind her. She didn’t even get involved in the family feud over the family money. If Monica wanted a normal life, she could have had one by now.
Therein lies the “rub” so to speak. Ms. Lewinsky has not found “love” because she is looking for “PREStige”
Phooey on that. I know these dames and they are a dime a dozen in my business. She just had better connections than your average joe to get to the “inner” circle and panty up.
I’ve had all kinds of sexual offers from men that could have furthered my career and/or have received incredible bonuses. At all ages. Twenties and thirties and older, well maybe in my early forties, sorta, okay maybe late thirties, or I think middle…there was this one guy….I digress. I am NO beauty…
I said NO THANKS. NO THANK YOU. NOPE. NOT INTERESTED. UH-UH. ZIP. SEE YA. BYE BYE.
If you saw WOLF OF WALL STREET, you know the kind of $$ I am talking about.
Monica Lewinsky fucking KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING. Did she regret it? Not if you are still making buck off of it. She has NO conscience when it comes to causing continual pain to the wife.
Does it make a difference because he was the PUS. Fuck no. Still no right to continue to cause pain to another human being. Period.
I am not talking about a sixteen year old. We have all done stupid ass things that I am sure we are ashamed, dealt with it and hopefully moved on never to go down that road, again.
This is NOT the case of Ms. Lewinsky. It is her ONLY, O*N*LY CLAIM TO FAME.
Time to pack it up, Monica. The well is dry.
Ok I am off my soapbox.
Okay, maybe there wasn’t THAT many offers…
Carrie, I’ve posted next to nothing here, but I’ve been lurking and reading for about a year. And from what I’ve read, I think the people here have had so much experience with predators, it’s hard to sympathize with one just because she was young at the time. Let alone now that the lamprey,is full grown, but is still sucking at what is now a dessicated corpse.
I don’t think her experience can be compared to yours, or mine, for that matter. I was raped when I was fourteen and a virgin, if not entirely ‘pure’. I was hanging with ‘the wrong crowd’ and got in a situation I couldn’t control. For Lewinsky to stand on a stage and compare her experience with the press to that of a girl sexually assaulted and then interrogated by the police makes my blood boil, even if it was just a play. (That’s in the complete article, for anyone who didn’t read it.)
The Clinton’s are a power couple, and Monica bit off more than she could chew. Ahem. But she knew what she was doing at the time. One of the things I’ve read here while I’ve been lurking and learning, is that cheater’s can’t really consider the consequences of their actions. Sounds like Monica back then. Nothing mattered but what she wanted.
Today? Who knows? But someone has been caring for her for the last decade. Kind of interesting that she’s back in the news now.
I got pretty pissed at that portion of the article myself. You were traumatized because you got interrogated in a plush hotel? That comes no where close to rape.
I wish chumplady could hold a cheater Roast. It would be a number one television show with so many cheaters to pick on in the lime light of fame.
Narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths hate to be ignored. Period. It’s in their DNA. This isn’t any more mysterious or mind boggling than understanding that simple fact. She’s inverted NPD at least and psychopath at worst.
She has a history of hooking up with the unattainable/unavailable. Daddy issues. Or absent parent issues. Get therapy (hint: for her it’s not going to help)
She likes powerful men–not really–the first one (that we know of) was not “powerful”, he was stupid and lacked boundaries. Just like Bill.
ML is, in all likelihood an inverted narcissist—she craves being in relationships with narcissists and cannot function without them.
She’s doing this because she was being ignored. No amount of therapy is going to help her, nor is it going to help Bill—and yes, even Hillary. They are who they are–they are cold blooded, calculating and cut-throat piranhas in the vast gene pool.
FWIW, Hillary was a chump up until a certain point—if I hear that Big Dog is dippin’ his wick again—Hillary deserves every ounce of pain she gets. SHE CHOSE, just like BILL CHOSE—don’t complain to ANYONE for sympathy at this point, sweetheart. Money and power over love, integrity and honesty. Check. She’s open about it, which gives me a pass on having ANY respect for her.
Give her the POTUS position? Um, nope. Just like I didn’t give Bill a pass, either. You are morally bankrupt, that you will choose power and money over integrity? Get away from me. I wouldn’t vote for her if she were the last and only hope to have a woman president. I don’t give a flying shit how smart she is—so is Bill. They’re BOTH scum.
ML is right down there in the slime with them. They all are cut from the same entitled cloth. No pity for any of them here.
Sphinx. Great point.
If she is an inverted narcissist, she should be put on double secret probation, IMO.
Monica was just the person holding the willing mouth that caught the sperm. Hillary was indeed the person drug through the cruel media. She was accused, because she chose to stay, of owning every vilified character flaw. She was power hungry, ok maybe that ones true, so what, a lesbian, a cold fish, a bitch you name it, the media drug her through the dirt. Sorry Monica you may have been young but certainly by that age you were taught it’s wrong to have sex with married men. Much less POTUS! Go get a job, any job!
The cheating aspect to these sort of salacious big stories is always ignored in the narrative that comes out; very frustrating. The Lewinski Clinton thing was just so gross and disappointing for so many reasons. I also think the very close Bush – Gore race would have been different if Clinton had not done this. Just an aside.
Anyway, the power balance between the POTUS and a 21 year old intern is hugely lopsided. As much as I am a militant anti-adultery guy, I lay most of the responsibility on Clinton for this one. Lewsinki absolutely is a weird and selfish person and let’s just all agree to not read her book…or whatever the hell she is doing.
It is interesting that whoever is the third wheel, or person inserted into said relationship always seems to play the victim & it is the “husband” or “wife’s” fault for not pleasing their mate, and they did the marriage “a favor” with their presence, blah, blah blech!! They could have gotten their attention anywhere, and this is what they chose. But don’t think badly of them, they are victims of x, y & z, and therefore deserve a pass!
In addition, they usually agree to a “sex” only relationship, or agree even told the married person will never leave their wife/husband, but these predators (both sides) will say anything to get the attention they seek. Then it is boo-hoo when it doesn’t work out their way and they are unable to break other relationships apart. We are supposed to have sympathy for these loser lovers who were not honest about their intentions in the first place? (Don’t jump on me, I know cheaters I agree are no prize & I sure don’t want to be with one, I am talking about the OW/OM right now)
It seems like ML wants it both ways. Isn’t she the one bringing it up again now? Perhaps people have forgotten about her & she needs the limelight again!
Someone brought up earlier in the thread that if she would have kept her mouth shut as in quiet, she would probably been employed perhaps as the “pass around pack” in DC.
She probably should have gone for it & sold little blue dresses with the “stain” on them, a line of “twat-tip” cigars, and an “underdesk blow job kit”, “I kept Bill awake in the White House” T-shirts, etc. She could be retired without the poor me attitude. Oh that was the Oval Office? I thought they said the Oral Office! My bad!
Can’t she fight or stand up for anything without coming out publicly and dragging out the whole sordid tail? Maybe the payoff years are coming to an end.
Too funny! She does crave attention, any way she can get it.
Wow, I just realized something. The other day when I was reading Wikipedia about ML the other day, something was bothering me but I couldn’t figure out exactly what. It had to do with the five year affair with the former drama coach. I thought that it was before BC and that maybe she was underage. I looked at it again today and based on the timeframe of Belier (bad spelling) 1992-1997 and Clinton 1995-1996, these were not sequential events. She was having affairs with TWO MARRIED MEN at the same time. If that is not the definition of a whore I don’t know what is. No wonder she didn’t need to work.
CL I like you and read your column regularly, but enough is enough. She was 22. People make mistakes. I think she has been publicly humiliated long enough. Everyone on this board had made a mistake.
I always felt the only true innocent “victim” during this whole sordid deal was Chelsea Clinton.