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Bobby Betray

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bobbyflayawsistantI know I’m late to the party on this one, but SHOCKER — Bobby Flay is getting divorced for the third time, apparently for having a three-year  affair with his assistant Elyse Tirrell, 28.

Tirrell, who gives new meaning to “Throwdown with Bobby Flay,” used to be a hostess in one of his restaurants.

For those of you not in the U.S., Flay is a celebrity leprechaun chef who’s saturated the market with his product endorsements.

Flay’s wife, Stephanie March, reportedly sensed something was off. According to one of her friends, D-listed reports:

“Elyse had always seemed so nervous when Stephanie came to one of the restaurants, and Stephanie, not knowing what was happening, went out of her way to compliment her and try to make her more comfortable. Elyse had even been to Stephanie’s home when she was there — and when she wasn’t.”

Oh, we’ve been there Stephanie. Making nice with the affair partner, putting them at ease because gosh, they seem so uncomfortable around you! Of course, having no idea that the weirdness is because they’re fucking your spouse. Yeah… I paid the bar tab for one…

Anyway, Blobby Lay. Did anyone NOT know this guy was a total douche? I’m sorry for Stephanie March (and best of luck enforcing your prenup or overturning it, or whatever you’re trying to do to get money off the sorry bastard), but seriously he oozes smarm like he was piping it through a pastry bag.

He’s a creepy ginger-headed man who has singlehandedly put me off Greek yogurt. When he folds fruit into Fage? (Shudder)

Did anyone like this guy? Except my cheating ex. (Yeah, there’s a sign. Takes a douche to know a douche.)

Cue beady-eyed sex possum Dean McDermott, who would like to give Flay some relationship advice.

McDermott told the New York Daily News:

“He needs to make some get out of jail meals for her. I would hope that they would be able to work things out because I was fortunate enough to be on that side of things working out.”

Yeah, what kind of meal says “I’m sorry I fucked my assistant for three years”? You think March is going to be appeased with grilled hot dogs?

My best guess is Flay is preparing appetizer courses for his next chump…

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    • Celebrity leprechaun lol tooo funny! I actually thought he was nice in a geeky kind of way and fell for the good guy next door spiel!! He had me fooled with his gremolata topped spare ribs lol
      Beedy eyed sex possum…love it, McDermot does have a furtive marmot look to him lol

      • I fell over laughing. . . Blobby Lay! I love these unexpected gems. I mean, who says that? And it’s so damn funny. Already thinking of a name change for STBX. Too bad not still married to the 1st X – his last name was Rucker. But, really, she had me at celebrity leprechaun, too. I’ve never watched him, but in the pic he really looks smarmy.

  • Jerk! These celebrities whose egos are ginormous deserve whatever their spouses can dish out! And much more….

  • I wonder if it is common for that scenario to play out…i.e. the uncomfortable OW/OM and unknowing chump. It is a point to ponder as I wonder if the discomfort I saw with my ex and another man at one point was about this. Not that it really matters anymore. It is just a reminder the tip of the iceberg was just that, the tip. I feel bad for Stephanie in this. Hope she gets justice or close to it financially.

    • OW felt uncomfortable around me as well. XH had her come over and babysit one of the few times I asked HIM to watch the kids, and OW couldn’t get out the door fast enough once I got home. When I mentioned it to XH, he said, “You’re imagining it.”

      Apparently not…

    • Yep. Long story but yes, she was “uncomfortable” (shady) and chummy me tried to make it all better. Ex odd smirking should have been the giveaway.

      • Oh God – this same thing happened to me. Since this was my (x) BFF, I could never figure out why she wouldn’t look me in the eyes properly, like normal people and always seemed uncomfortable around me. I thought she was just painfully shy, and my mom was like that so I figured she was just insecure. I spent many nights with her at her home – just the 2 of us, as we showed dogs together – and even at the shows she couldn’t look me in the eye. I will forever NEVER trust somebody who won’t do that and gives off strong vibes about how uncomfortable they are. Red Flag warning for sure. Yep – she kept up the act for 3 full years. Whore.

        • Happened to me to! I actually went out of my way to make the Owhore “more comfortable” – took her under my wing, all that. And STBX only had derogatory things to say about her. Uh huh…didn’t want me getting close enough to figure it out. The mind fucking is amazing to me.

    • Sadly, DM, I’m raising my hand, too. I heard all about first OW and how she resembled a “soft ball player and not feminine like you, TBJ”. Deflection, anyone?

      So I met her and her 7 year chump of a boyfriend (poor guy, they’re still together after the affair was vehemently denied) at a wedding with STBX. They awkwardly avoided each other for the first hour then finally gave up, there are only so many places to hide at a barn wedding, and things got weeeeird. STBX got hammered out of his mind and his party guy alter ego arrived and he avoided dancing with me at all costs by acting like a fool on the dance floor-he’s SUCH a fun guy!!!! Then she came to sit with me and share how she and her boyfriend fought at a wedding the weekend before. DON’T CARE!!!!!!

      I knew the moment I saw her something wasn’t right. 6 months later…obsessive phone calls, texts and all kinds of extra time away from our house. Good luck to her boyfriend. I got rid of my narc, I hope he follows the same path.

      • I also knew something was seriously wrong with OW, the whole nervous thing, like I was going to bite her head off. Weirdly, though, the one time X invited her to our house, she acted like she owned the place and began lecturing our teenaged daughter about wearing running shorts in front of X (hypocritical Jesus cheater). Of course, I immediately shut that shit down and she turned into meek church mouse, her favorite role. She always gave off this very weird vibe, but I never tried to comfort her because, from the beginning, she creeped me out.

        X kept trying to pretend nothing was going on and, while I did not trust OW, I did trust X. Surely he would never bring that crazy into our life! Well, of course he woud and he did. Long after X dumped crazy church lady, she continued to stalk me and my kids. So not only did X betray us, he endangered our safety. Fun times. Not.

    • This is all to familiar to me too. I just wasn’t looking for problems then. At a Christmas party I noticed X and ho worker (now wife-tress) having an animated intimate conversation, later that evening she tried to sit next to me but fell on me in her drunken stupor saying “ya know, you’re all right!” Then she disappeared, passed out in her truck. As we were driving home I told x I think she has a crush on you…he didnt respond… When I look back now, I can clearly see he was playing both of us and eating cake.

      The soul-sucking narcissistic spawn of phlegm is her problem now and even though she clearly was interfering and not respecting our marriage, I cannot help but feel sorry for her because she believes he is wonderful and she believes he loves her. She has a teenage daughter that lives with them who trusts what he appears to be too. It is just terribly sad and unfair this monster can ruin so many lives and somehow always lands on his feet.

    • Good question, DM.

      It reminds me that the summer before Dday, when I thought that something odd was going on, STBX told me that we were invited to a birthday bash at OW’s house. He brought, symbolically enough, sausages from the butcher’s to grill. OW was having a heck of a time with her second-hand, POS gas grill. These sausages were real bratwurst, and they needed to be cooked thoroughly.

      STBX came up and asked me to give OW some help with the sausages, as she was having trouble. This was practically in front of her. She shot him a look filled with daggers, and was really uncomfortable with me there. I assumed it was because STBX had inferred she didn’t know what she was doing.

      In retrospect, I realize that she was uncomfortable around me because she’d been fucking my husband, and she was pissed off at STBX because she fancied herself as a good cook, and she was jealous that STBX used to praise my culinary skills all the time (much of his Facebook page was devoted to what I’d cooked for dinner).

      Interestingly enough, STBX now complains about everything I fix, but he’s eating his meals out of a can (Beefaroni? Spaghetios?–that’s grown-up food?) or out of a box (Kraft Macaroni and Cheese!) or Schmoopie fixes him something. 😛

    • Oh, there’s another piece of my life that I didn’t want to examine. Once the spackle fell off of everything and I could see more clearly, I got to replay every awkward situation I’d ever been in with other women. My gut knew something was wrong, but my head didn’t conceive of the possibility of him cheating, so out came the spackle. I couldn’t figure out why so many of his coworkers were so rude to me. I’m now pretty sure my that at least 4 women I met who were friends with him, but not me, were sleeping with him. Good times!

    • Opposite problem. OWhore was creepy-needy, coming to sit close next to me at an event where there were maybe 15 empty chairs on either side of me, Wrote to Fucktard how much she enjoyed seeing the two of us (yes, me and Fucktard) together (it was ‘therapeutic’), grilled him about my life, etc.

      No shame, no guilt, just disordered attempts to ooze into my life (just like slime)

    • All these stories of OW/OM watching the children, chatting up the wife/husband, are 50 shades of fucked-up. To what level of cruelty would you have to descend to allow your AP intimate access to your spouse and children? These cheaters should all be neutered and spayed so that they can’t pass on any more mean-genes.

      • Yes– I am VERY glad that ex-cheater had a vasectomy after we had our last child. The world does not need a child who is raised exclusively by two screw-ups. I don’t even want to begin to imagine how they’d mess that kid up.

        • Mine had the big V too! Plus the OW is baron- she and her now ex tried to have a kid for many years and apparently could never conceive. I surmise it was her problem.

          No kids for those two disordered wing nuts!!! She’s 52 anyway which would give advanced maternal age a whole new meaning.

          I still thank goddess nightly that the two spawn of satan can’t grace the world with their offspring!!

          • My ex also had a vasectomy years ago. Apparently not being able to impregnate the OWhore, he thought it was fine to not use protection as I now have a souvenir of their affair – an STD.

      • I didn’t think I’d have much to comment on in a post about Bobby Flay. But there’s the nerve -OUCH- my husband introduced OW and her family to my children as “a friend” and “training partner” and then we had family dinners, planned vacations together. It adds an extra serving of humiliation to the whole nightmare. No, in retrospect it was cramming shit down my throat like a fucking pate-bound goose.

    • You’re right DM, there is a relation to the whole OW feels uncomfortable. I didn’t really process it, but yes. My X had one of his other women over with a “group” of friends, probably so I couldn’t single her out in hind sight. Everyone was polite to me and made eye contact except her. Always thought that was weird, the way she acted so quiet.

  • I’ve always thought he was a douche. This just seals it for me. I dont know how anyone can watch him on tv and not see that he’s a complete dick. There’s just so much arrogance about him and his food never even looks all that good. Ugh, his poor wife.

    • I remember reading an article not too long ago where Flay said that his favorite thing was to make his wife a delicious meal on Sundays. Looks like he was having a dish somewhere on the other 6 days.

    • She got divorced/is getting divorced too! Sounds like it was cheating… but not on her end.

      “The famous cook also tells Redbook how she balances out her famous persona when she’s at home. “I think it can be hard for any man to sometimes be upstaged by his wife,” she says. “So when I’m home, I work very hard to be Todd’s wife and Jade’s mother. I have no problem going back to those traditional roles. I try to be Giada, the young girl that he met 20 years ago and fell in love with. All men want to be treated like kings in a relationship, and I think if women don’t indulge that sometimes, their men are likely to stray and look for someone who can give that to them.

      Read more: http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/giada-de-laurentiis-husband-embarrassed-by-john-mayer-rumor-2011101#ixzz3blcCdvqL
      Follow us: @usweekly on Twitter | usweekly on Facebook

  • Ahhhh… Crap. Now what the hell am I gonna watch? Is Anthony Bourdain a cheating asshole too? Ina? Please god… Dont tell me that Emeril Lagasses’ BAM’ is code for something else. I will be stuck watching that Sandra Lee show..

      • I love the Barefoot Contessa. I love her relationship with her husband. Those two appear to genuinely love each other. I love that she supports the gay community, I love that she does good things for her friends. This does not appear to be a selfish, self-centered woman. I Imagine someone her employee handles all of these requests and it might be she would not have seen it until it made the news. I give her the benefit of the doubt simply because she and her husband adore each other. What a wonderful couple. If I ever find out differently I will be heartbroken.
        BTW, Flay has a gazillion restaurants, a cooking show and does ads. When does he find the time to cheat? It just goes to show, scuzzy is as scuzzy does. Cheaters can always find the time.
        Monica and this girl needed a lesson in eeeewwwww!

        • Just saw the show where Ina and her husband celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary, so they must be doing somehing right.

            • Okay, I’m dying my hair back brunette then, LOL.

              I don’t want to be braggy, but cooking and baking is kind of my thing. When D-Day happened, I had no appetite but had to keep cooking for the children, and I was too shell-shocked to be unkind to ex. He continued as always to rave about my scratch made dinners, in particular a pot of pork chile verde that came out pretty great. He said,

              “Darling, this is DELICIOUS.” And I walked over and hissed quietly, “I’m not your darling anymore. Enjoy that chile verde, you’re never getting it,or me again.”

              He still finished it. Hope he’s enjoying his Bachelor Chow.

              • I fancy myself quite the cook… And while not Julia Child… I love to try different dishes… And I am a hell of a baker. I cooked meals… Real meals for my family everyday. When my daughter started going over to her fathers for visitation she started to ask me to send her stuff to eat because Tweeny doesnt know how to cook… And her father is worse. On the occasions that i made cookies / muffins i would send her some in her back pack… Come to find out her father would take them and eat every single one.
                Its amazing that once that viagra wears off their other primal urges kick in… So he hates my fucking guts… But loves my cookies. He has gained a terrible amount of weight… Moobs to boot. Must suck to get hot cheetos for dinner. I hope his triglycerides are on jammer level.

              • I always thought it was funny that my ex loved my homemade pie crust (Martha Stewart recipe). Most of my baker friends won’t even attempt a homemade crust. Bet OWhore can’t do that. I’m not too sorry over what ex left behind but I’m sure he misses a good crust!

      • The kid is dying, and his wish is to cook with her. She should be honored instead of “busy”. Says a lot about her that isn’t at all flattering.

        • No, I think Bourdain has admitted it in one of his memoirs. At the very least, the way he talked about how restaurants are a cesspool of debauched human behavior. It made me very nervous. Evidently for good reason.

    • Ha! The Evil Toddler Ex had a thing for SVU’s Stephanie March and January Jones from Madmen, with whom Flay has also been rumored to be canoodling recently. Note: I and OWife are both petite and dark haired…

  • I am starting to believe that people that believe in marriage and fidelity are a dwindling breed. It just makes me sad to think people treat marriage like a television remote. Just keep scanning until something else comes along that catches your attention.

    • It’s hard, I get it 🙁 I have been through it all with my stbx, but I have to say, I see lots of good men out there. My brother-in-laws, the males chumps in my divorce support group, friends husbands. Now I’m out of the fog of his narcissistic abuse/affair bs, I am noticing kindness in men through their actions (not just words). I’m a long way from dating, but my faith in men and marraige is slowly being restored. Hang in there. They are out there – futures bright 🙂 xxx

      • MsChump – this is news to me, but good to hear. I’m still trying to get out of the fog of H narcissistic abuse/affair/manipulations. I do have a hell of a great bro-in-law who’s been very supportive during this crisis in my life, and the male chumps in my divorce group have been uplifting with wise words, too. But the rest — I’m still blocking until I’m restored, myself.

      • MSChump, I agree there are good people out there! I said I would never get married again however the world is a different place when it’s not defined by a controlling asshole. I plan on getting married again someday when the time is right.

        • When I told my therapist that I won’t get married again she said that people who like to be coupled will again seek that kind of relationship. It sure worked for ex as he is now engaged to someone other than OWhore. Flings & marital stability are two different things.

  • I read something the other day that demanded that Bobby Flay lose his empire for cheating like Paula Dean lost hers for using the N-word. I doubt it will happen. The only cheater who lost big-time endorsement deals was Tiger Woods.

    • Men typically get to keep their careers after sex scandals in a way women don’t-they even get re-elected (Sanford) or rehabilitated (Sptizer).

      Cue Arnold, 10, 9, 8, 7, …..

          • Tempest, this is so true! How about the whole Anthony Weiner thing? Seeing his wife stand up next to him at a podium, looking like a hostage, while he’s spouting pure shit from his mouth about his dick pix and god knows what else, made my heart hurt for her. I think this is part and parcel of the whole “cheating is ok” thing, and since men (still) largely control the narrative, no one cares when they are exposed to be narcissistic, cheating assholes. (Sorry for redundancy there!).

      • Case in point Carol Drinkwater on All Creatures Great and Small if any of you are old enough to remember. 🙂 She had an affair with e Christopher Timothy. She got the sack while he got off scot free.

        • No freaking way! Is that what happened to the first Helen? I didn’t even know there was All Creatures gossip-I was a kid at the time , but I watched it again as an adult. And is that why new Helen was so much older, I wonder?

    • http://www.everseradio.com/top-five-female-politicians-caught-up-in-sex-scandals/

      A couple women here seem to have survived sex scandals: Helen Chenoweth, and Nikki Haley.

      Outside of politics, many female OWs are revered: Angelina Jolie comes to mind, as well as Alicia Keys, J-Lo. There was Ingrid Bergman–the cheater herself. Let’s see–Meg Ryan and Madonna are rumored to have been cheaters, as well. And Whoopi Goldberg. All seem to be doing quite well.

      Lordy, the list of famous OW and female cheaters is endless!

      Here’s some interesting commentary:
      http://jezebel.com/5303121/where-are-the-female-philanderers

      There are many theories about why more powerful women don’t get caught up in cheating scandals–one is that a lot of men don’t find powerful women to be a turn-on. Or, that women are much more discreet (less stupid about cheating?)

      Still, to the point, if a female cheater or OW loses her job? I won’t cry for her any more than I did for John Edwards or Anthony Weiner.

  • My “douche-dar” – something I developed after my own D-day – always beeped at high speed when Flay was on the air. He exudes doucheness! Probably is what he makes his grilling sauces from! So no – I’m not shocked at all.

  • I invited the OW to our house for a football party and spent time telling her how concerned I was about her as she was withdrawn, seemed angry, and was texting on her phone the entire time. (Found out later she and my then husband were texting each other through the whole party. Extra cake anyone???) My picker is waaaaaay off…..I used to love Bobby Flay…..

  • You all just don’t understand — when Cheaters get married (multiple times) they expect their SPOUSE to act like a married person. Those social rules that govern marriage, why those are for OTHER people to follow. Not SPECIAL people like the serial cheaters. They must flit from AP to AP to AP to AP . . . to spread their special version of love, sleazy style, to all who want it. We also must not forget to wonder what the hell the AP is thinking about how SPECIAL they are when they know that Cheater is married, and yet they sneak around and even go to the marital home to cheat when the legal spouse is away. I mean, is that classy? Or what? Oh my gosh, there is just too much sparkle to go around this morning!

    My other observation is that I cannot see anything remotely attractive about Flay or McDermott. I think when I know they are cheaters that my mental deflector goes on and all I see is a Giant Lounge Lizard slithering around looking Super Sleazy in all that he does.

    • “You all just don’t understand — when Cheaters get married (multiple times) they expect their SPOUSE to act like a married person.”

      ^^^^THIS^^^^ – I can’t tell you how many times I was accused of wanting to “fuck someone” who I was casually talking to in our social circle. Projection much? Double standard much? Oh yeah.

  • The disordered think of nothing but their disordered selves, not much thought goes into anything else. Funny that people still think we can change a person. He has a history, who knew!?!? Wow, three years of living a lie. My condolences to the fucked over spouse, I was clueless too! All kinds of fucked up. BLobby Lay is right!
    ChumpLady, I am seriously in love with your “snark.”

    • I was the clueless one for three years, too. Living in triangulation, being compared and abused, and never suspected. Well, suspected little, but eventually got bombed with total annihilation. All kinds of fucked up, is right. STBX admits to new relationship after filing only. Yeah, right!

  • CL!!!!!

    Ahhahaha!!!!!! These!!!!

    He’s a creepy ginger-headed man who has singlehandedly put me off Greek yogurt. When he folds fruit into Fage? (Shudder)

    Cue beady-eyed sex possum Dean McDermott, who would like to give Flay some relationship advice.

    I’m effing dying over here…you hit these descriptions so perfectly….I can’t take it.

      • I see. Well nevertheless, your description of Mr. Flay was perfection and you brought the description of Dean to us here because I’ve never heard him called that before. Hahaha…it’s too good.

  • OH KISMET! I was thinking of posting about this very thing in the forums! I had read an article wherein Stephanie March- http://www.stylebistro.com/Stephanie+March/lookbooks Um Hello Gorgeous- had spoken publicly about the affair, and Flay’s (UM Hello Toad) response was how gauche it was for March to speak publicly about private matters.

    Two things-

    Dear Booby- when you have your dick out at work with an employee, that’s not private anymore. It’s such a classic cheater Playbook move to call cheating at work a Private Matter to attempt the shameshift and blameshift your betrayed spouse. Emotionally abusing your spouse and exposing her to STDs is not your leprechaun birthright. You, sir, are an affront to honest Leprechauns and Hobbits everywhere.

    Chumps Who ‘Let Yourself Go”- Take a hard look at the three people in this Bermuda Triangle. Do you see it now? When your spouse tells you he or she cheated because you have a combover, a muffin top, a pound cake, an entire wedding cake, you aren’t Halle Berry or you put too many cheeses in the lasagna, look here. You could have been Halle Berry, you could have been Stephanie March. You could have climbed Kilimanjaro eating only freeze dried beet leathers, whitened your teeth, or gotten a hair transplant, and it still won’t give a cheater a soul transplant! Cheaters gonna cheat. It’s what they do, and they like it. You are not responsible for the character defects of another person, and being prettier/better/richer is not the answer.

    F Bobby Flay and feed him botulism beans.

    • Cheaters gonna cheat. Nuff said. But the guy on Diners, Drive Ins and Drives is ok, right? I love how enthusiastic he is about the food. I like positive shows.

      • Guy Fieri is not ok. He has a liking for young women. He is married and has at least two kids. Major scumbag.

        • Any guy with a penchant for insisting on making his very dark natural hair platinum blonde, with a terminal case of bad roots, is really a walking cry for help. I like his show, but the curtains don’t match the drapes with this guy – literally, and metaphorically.

    • LUZ, as soon as I truly let myself go, from the narcissistic abuse and was ABLE to focus on myself the transformation was incredible. The amount of energy we waste on them is like working two full time jobs. I went from a size 16 to a size 6/8. I work out daily, hike, and spend my time with normal vs disordered. Wish I dumped him sooner. It feels amazing after just under a year to heal from the inside out. I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON!!!! I still have a ways to go however the control he had no longer exists and the pain he caused with the sadistic discard is gone. I just spent three nights away and had no anxiety. I have a LIFE finally!! It gets better!!!!! I have plans with someone I met, tomorrow!! I will take things slow but I now put my trust in myself.

      • This is SO encouraging to read. I’m in the early days, but I’ve just put together 3-4 days where I haven’t sobbed ALL day, and I think maybe I’m starting to turn a corner…feeling meh-ish at times. It feels good to just not care.

        • I didn’t think it was possible either and then the crying stopped. And the walking dead feeling is gone. I cried for months after the discard. And through the stress of the divorce. It took almost a year to fully detox and get my strength back. I am not at Meh yet but still working on myself. You WILL get better.

          • Yay, Donna! I slide back and forth, but the best part is knowing that I am responsible only for me and the children, and I no longer have to live by his stupid rules and wants.I love that you have your mojo back!

            Today I worked all morning in my home office.On the weekend. Because I wanted to, and I like my job. In the past, I would have had 315 pounds of resentment lumbering past my office door with raised eyebrows every hour on the hour. It wouldn’t matter if his plan was 4 hours of video games, the point was I should be doing things that benefit and entertain him. And he was stupid enough to not realize my making 150% of what he did benefited him, He was definitely a minimum effort and no more type!

            But now I can do whatever the hell I want or need to do without tapdancing like a mind controlled ingenue for a scrap of attention. I don’t need the attention. It feels good,

  • Of course I blame Bobby Flay for the affair. But what’s with these idiot young women who think this is a victimless crime? Or think that their twu wuv trumps the pain of a wife and/or kids. It’s appalling.

  • OW in my case befriended me right at the beginning of their work “friendship”, came over for dinner tons of times, and towards the end, she was definitely nervous around me, she’d be hanging around me in the kitchen as I was cooking a gourmet meal for all of us, while he was in the living room, like the king he thought he was, she would be in my way and looking nervous and I would be like “you can go sit in the living room with him, I’m good here” uhhhh – what a chump I was. I still shudder at my chumpiness.

    • Mine took it one step further. MOW was having problems in her marriage ( no shit eh ?!?!? ) and x thought she and her kids should move in with us!!!!

      And he was dead serious! She wanted my big house, my life, my family and even started dressing like me ( well, a Miss Piggy version of me )!

      He was really surprised and angry that I put my foot down and said no.
      There are no limits to their entitlement.

      I guess he had been watching Sister Wives or something along those lines because who in their right mind suggests this ???

      • The whores always want what you have and sooner it later the x wants what he HAD. What a fucked up pair cheaters make. X brought only one home to meet me, the others he brought home while I was working. He was a dreamer schemer. Always taking about out future and the house we were going to buy and all the while spending his money on himself and whores. Just bought himself another toy and still cheating. They never change.

  • I hope this dumb girl becomes wife #4. And then, in however many years, discovers she isn’t so special after all. Three years is fucking obnoxious.

    • My STBX did the same. Do I get to subtract that number from the years we were married?
      He always was a one-woman man, it’s true.

    • My x’s ow never seemed to reach that point of realization. Every time I’d tell her of lies he’d told her, she acted genuinely SHOCKED that he could possibly lie to her. She never clued in to the fact that if they’ll lie about you, then they’ll lie TO you. Or that the more they lie, the easier lying gets for them.

      That’s the thing about liars and cheaters – they have a nasty habit of lying and cheating. Who knew?!

  • Never liked him. Thought he was a whole lot of nothing. Could never figure out how he ever creeped into the industry. His talents always seemed mediocre at best. Never liked his personality either, he seemed full of himself. Aloof. Cocky.

    When I first heard the rumors of an affair, I was not the least bit surprised. Coincidentally, mine is a ginger head as well, who also had a 3-year affair.

    I sincerely hope his wife, nails his balls to the wall. Thankfully, they didn’t reproduce so she will not be tied to the rat bastard.

  • I really identify with CL’s comment “I paid the bar tab for one”. I did too, and some of you already know about the OW’s “showing off her girls” during a pre-wedding visit.
    She also enthusiastically volunteered to make my bridal bouquet – which I innocently agreed to.
    I have to admit, I thought at the time it was beautiful, and so thoughtful….

    I’m a history freak, and wanted to share with you that Bobby’s last name – Flay – meant an ancient procedure of torture (and ultimately death). To Flay someone was to take off a victim’s skin – while they’re still alive.
    Hmm…..okay, maybe it’s not healthy to go there…..

  • Hats off to the person at the *Daily News* who thought to ask Dean McDouchebag for his advice about recovering from infidelity. A+ sense of snark there, my friend. Well played. Because getting Dean McDermott to offer advice to Bobby Flay about cheating makes about as much sense as getting Ashton Kutcher to offer advice to Matt Lauer about keeping a low profile.

    Talk about the blind leading the blind. . . .

    And in typical Narc fashion, Dimwit Mc Dean-o can’t even detect that he’s being made the large luminous butt of a very transparent joke. He *really* thinks he has words of wisdom to offer, and people *really* want to know what he thinks.

    Priceless.

  • Ugh, a couple more unattractive, Real Life Cheaters. They look like they are related, which always creeps me out.

    • Ha! I think that ex-cheater and Owife look like siblings– she has similar coloring to ex-cheater’s brother, and she has the same unfortunate nose as the ex. I guess when you’re in love with yourself, you’d rather be with someone who looks like you? 😮

      • MovingOn, the family pictures must be hysterical. X’s ho looks nothing like me and totally different from his previous picks. Cheap looking, no class, and a cross between a ho that picks up men at a truck stop and a used up call girl that can no longer make money on the street. Although my friend did see him at a bar recently talking to a blond. At least he’s single now. It’s laughable.

  • I am not a huge fan of Blobby Lay (hee hee, love it CL), and now I know why.
    But please… Do not tell me Alton Brown is in the same category. After learning that of Tom Hanks and Carol Burnett, I do not think I could take it.
    😉

  • I can spot the inappropriate connection a mile away.
    It’s the “nervous as a whore in church” thing.
    I learned it in chump 101

    • I think she could kick his ass… I think Anthony respect that about his wife. I could see him half in the bag with a black eye in a singapore bar…” Ya she kicked my ass, and i fucking deserved it” while downing another shot.

      • There is a segment on No Reservations in Tuscany where she gleefully bosses him around and tells him he’s full of it, And he clearly loves every bit of her feisty nature.

        • I loved the way Ottavia said “botargo.” I could see he had much respect for her. I suspect he’s the kind who would hurt himself instead of his partner/spouse/others in their life if he was ever so miserable. It would be so disappointing to learn that he has cheated. That’s a deal breaker for me. Could never watch his shows again, and I love them all.

      • It is like the joke with the 2 little boys trying to outdo one another, boasting about “Dad”. My Dad is bigger, So what, My Dad makes more money, So what My Dad can beat your Dad up, So What, so can My Mother. Sorry, sorry, sorry — so glad it’s Friday that I am getting a bit juvenile. Also, all this talk about beady eyes and possums and douchebags is making it hard for me to stop laughing and get back to work . My break is over, but I am afraid I am over working this week and I haven’t even been to lunch yet! Oh well, we all need a good laugh on Friday.

  • Although I LOVE the food at his restaurant at the Borgata in Atlantic City (Bobby Flay Steak…you could have a field day with that one, CL!), I, too, have always gotten a creeper/jerk vibe from him. I’m wondering if his first two marriages dissolved for similar issues? If so, Stephanie had at least some heads up of what she was taking on.

    I don’t get the same vibe from Alton, he seems like a more legit family guy. As for Bourdain I don’t know…he was married before for a long time to his first wife and that marriage seemed to dissolve as he was finding fame so who knows…

  • I thought Flay was pretty pompous, but I ended up enjoying a cooking show series he had that was all about brunches from around the world-he would occasionally mention and then make a type of food that Stephanie enjoyed as part of the brunch (implying he frequently made brunch for her while she slept in). How despicable that he could carry on an affair with a woman who must be close in age to his daughter (oh, wait, that’s what depraved cheaters do….)

    Also, I don’t know how I missed this, but Bill Murray cheated on his wife too? (and then the OW he married eventually divorced him). I also learned recently my co-worker is “dating” a man she kept describing as “unavailable.” Finally I pressed her for more details and it turns out he’s married.

    • There’s a synonym for the UBT: “unavailable” means “married.” And “dating” in Cheaterspeak means “f***ing someone who is ‘unavailable'” (married). And Lucky, how can she “date” if a guy is “unavailable”? Oh, wait. He’s not “unavailable” for cheating. He’s unavailable for marriage because he’s…married. Oh, how amazed I am at their linguistic gymnastics.

      • My ex LOVED the linguistic gymnastics. He ‘had a relationship’ w/the OW. But that relationship was ‘not supposed to last’. Oh, and when he finally apologized just a tiny little bit, his apology was for ‘what I did’,

        Wouldn’t want to call a spade a spade, I guess, might make ’em look bad!

  • My cheater denied it of course, but after I left he said, “I’m sorry about her.”
    I saw her once when she stopped by with her boyfriend now husband. She did not say a word to me but we locked eyes and both knew the deal. Her boyfriend actually opened the door to show me his son. I almost said, ” yeah, he favors my son at that age.” I swallowed a big shit sandwich that day. I dont have any proof, but i will always believe that child is his even though he denies that as well. Then on to others and prostitutes.

  • Honestly as far as cooking shows go it sounds like cheaters paradise now. I will stick to Pioneer Woman, Japanese version of Iron Chef and old Julia Child reruns.

    • I always thought Bobby Flay was a pompous ass ever since he was on the original Iron Chef (Japan) and so disrespectfully stood on Morimoto’s cutting board. I could never watch him in anything after that without seeing him as a douche bag. I am not surprised one bit that he’s a cheaterpants! I have empathy for Stephanie March as a fellow chump…I just can’t help but also see her in a similar light that I see my cheater XH’s past and current girlfriends who knew/know about his cheating but believe they are that special one, and that his ex-wife (chumpy moi) was just so “crazy” and bitchy that it drove him to cheat. They would not make that same mistake, no, not them.

        • It’s been great fun every since then to yell “You Suck, Flay!” for that asshole behavior. And Throwdown is another asshole show. It should be called “Ambush!”

          • Yeah, I saw the rude cutting board counter thing too. I was ashamed of my country that day (not that he was formally representing the US, but still, that was bad)

      • “I always thought Bobby Flay was a pompous ass ever since he was on the original Iron Chef (Japan) and so disrespectfully stood on Morimoto’s cutting board. I could never watch him in anything after that without seeing him as a douche bag.”

        Oh my God YOU TOO! I didn’t care for him before that and couldn’t stand him afterwards. Even the xH (I remember watching that episode at MIL’s (is it xMIL if she died before I knew he was cheating?) with him) couldn’t stand him after that – you don’t disrespect an Iron Chef, particularly by putting your filthy feet on a cooking surface.

        Although I did like that show when he went up against chefs to try to outdo their signature dishes. Because I think except for one show, he failed miserably EVERY TIME. I liked seeing him lose because he always seemed so smug.

  • sometimes i forget the detailed awfulnesses. like today.

    this post made me remember my daughter’s senior year… photos now tainted with MOW watching us pose for milestone photos at community events, me congratulating her son on his award, etc…and XH not showing ONE iota of discomfort. i don’t know if MOW was uncomfortable. had no reason to notice.

    cheaters more than suck. they deserve more than the karma bus…like a taste of their own poisen…or imprisonment to stop their inhumane cruelty.

    today i am not at meh. i am angry. and that is more than OK

    grrrrrrr.

  • I spent an entire day cleaning every window in the MOW’s house. Helped her move heavy shit to her basement. Helped her re-arrange her basement. I had inwardly questioned the possibility of there being more than “just friends”. Our inside joke was about her being “his other wife”. (I didn’t know about EA’s at the time.) It wasn’t till our last conversation before asshole and I broke up for good that I knew something was going on. He was headed to Europe and she and her husband have a camper at the river near where he lives, She was almost giddy when she told me they had permission to stay at his house and sleep in our bed if the river rose. No don’t go to your own home to sleep where she has a spare bedroom made up in camo for him. Bitch wasn’t uncomfortable at all. I know who she’s headed for after her husband dies.

  • Because no Chump Lady post about cheating celebrities can go by without a few anagrams:

    Bobby Flay = Flabby Boy
    Robert W. Flay = Flowery Brat
    Bobby Flay Gets Married = Farted Slobbery Bigamy

  • GROSSSSSSSSSS….. Stephanie March is BEAUTIFUL too… he FAR outpunted his coverage with her. Makes me wonder these inadequate guys AFFAIR DOWN (sure the 28 year old is cute, but not Stephanie March beautiful or classy)… goes hand in hand with their dysfunction!!!

    I won’t ever watch a show of his again. GAG.

  • so shocking that yet another celebrity has cheated on their spouse! I wish you could all see my shocked face!

    I honestly have no clue why celebrities or sports figures ever bother to get married! They pretty much all suck at it!

  • A few years ago, I had to research Theodore Gieselle, aka Dr. Seuss, for a school project with my daughter. It was kind of hidden but I found out he was actually Dr. Cheaterpants. Ugh. He committed adultery, and his wife committed suicide. I helped my second grader dress a bear from Build a Bear to look like this creepy cheater. I can never hear anything about him without thinking of his poor wife. Green Eggs and Scam sounds more like it to me

      • I know, Tempest. I was very disturbed. Dr and mrs. Seuss were married 40 years. 1927 to 1967. Here is the info from wikipedia.

        On October 23, 1967, suffering from a long struggle with illnesses including cancer—as well as emotional pain over her husband’s affair with Audrey Stone Dimond—Geisel’s wife, Helen Palmer Geisel, committed suicide.[50] Geisel married Dimond on June 21, 1968. Though he devoted most of his life to writing children’s books, Geisel had no children of his own. He would say, when asked about this, “You have ’em; I’ll entertain ’em.”

        • I am breathless. Audrey Dimond & Dr. Seuss break up two families, his wife commits suicide (and what a chumpy suicide note), and she sends her daughters away to boarding school. Uneffingbelievable. The hubris & selfishness of cheaters & APs.

          • For the love of God….Dr Seus? He could do it in a box with a fox getting off his rocks….
            Is nothing sacred? Mr Rogers? Lassie? The Fonz?

          • I just couldn’t believe it and had to search the Almighty Infallible Internet for the Truth myself! When my son was very little, on his birthday, I would go to his classroom and be the guest reader for the day. I read “Happy Birthday to You!” out loud with him by my side to the class for several years. I hope he never finds out about this. 🙁

            • I’m not telling my daughter either. I just read some good info about this on a site called About Relationships.com. gives details and dates , plus the entire suicide note I guess. Neither Cheater appeared to feel ANY remorse. So sad. I hope they rot in hell.

              • Blech. And the city of Springfield MA is doing some kind of celebratory thingy about him it’s his hometown, although they tore down his childhood home a few years back.)

                aieeeeee. so awful. If anybody hears about Maurice Sendak, I just do not wanna know. I already think that maybe Roald Dahl is sketchy, cheater-wise ??.

                I guess I’ll stick with Madeleine L’engle (Smith class of ’41!) and Susan Cooper and Dorothy Kunhardt.

              • I don’t know anything for a fact about Maurice Sendak but I do know in my first job, I was pretty much assigned to babysit him at the ceremony as the recipient of our major award. Literally told to wait outside the men’s room, etc., and escort him so he wouldn’t find too much alcohol or female distraction…

              • doneasdinner–female distraction? nooooooo…that was a ruse; Sendak was gay. They should have sent you into the male bathroom with him, if they were worried about hookups. However, if he had libido problems in his younger years, he did have a very long-term partner. From Wikipedia:

                “Sendak mentioned in a September 2008 article in The New York Times that he was gay and had lived with his partner, psychoanalyst Dr. Eugene Glynn, for 50 years before Glynn’s death in May 2007.”

                I revere Sendak, for so many reasons.

              • Namedforvera,

                Roald Dahl is definitely sketchy (and it was so very disappointing). When his wife, actress Patricia O’Neal, had a stroke he had an affair with her nurse, eventually leaving Pat to marry the nurse. I never read him again.

        • Great article that peers into the selfish, narcissistic mind of a cheating OW.

          She’s glad she has two daughters because they’ll be useful to her when she gets old. She has zero compunction about destroying a marriage and delivering a final blow to Ted’s wife.

          What a nasty, despicable thing she is.

    • Ooh, this one struck a nerve, and I had a field day explaining this to my daughter.

      Some background: when I was four years old, I really, REALLY wanted some Dr. Seuss books. My parents got them for me – I think it was some mail order thing where you get four books at a time.

      I remember that two of that first batch of books were The Cat In The Hat and Green Eggs and Ham. And I remember being VERY anxious after reading those two.

      Why? Because both books were about kids (or whatever those things are in Green Eggs and Ham) saying no and being ignored.

      I was a picky eater as a kid, so Green Eggs and Ham was the worse of the two. The guy doesn’t want Sam’s “food”! Leave him alone! But that thing just keeps pushing, until finally he eats that crap at the end (did he really like it? Or was he just broken down? Or faking it to get him off his back?)

      What kind of sick book teaches kids that NO doesn’t mean NO?!?

      So 20+ years later, and I have kids, and they get copies of those two books (as “gifts” – I wouldn’t buy them that!). I could never bring myself to read them to them (xH must have until they could read on their own).

      So now, my daughter’s in high school, and near her school is a university that was having some sort of Dr. Seuss day festival. I launched into a rant – no means no, Dr. Seuss was a cheater.

      She got weird looks when this was discussed in her classes (I forget which one brought up Dr. Seuss, at high school no less) and they told her she was reading too much into it.

      Well, live through cheating, and you start reading a lot into lots of things.

      • That is a great comment, Really, and something I never thought about. Dr. S doesn’t sound like he was a very good person, at all. I remember a show of Montel Williams or Dr. Phil or someone of that type. Anyway, the show featured serial predators (rapists, murderers, child abusers, etc). One guy described that a method he used to pick victims was how hard it was for him to change a No to a Yes. The example he used was offering to help someone carry groceries from their car . The lady first said No, but he kept pursuing it. Instead of getting mad and saying Piss off buddy, I said no the person gave in after five or six attempts and said yes. That was the victim he picked. Scary stuff.

  • I laughed out loud this morning as well. A few weeks ago I saw Bobby Flay at a restaurant here in Los Angeles. I fantasized taking a photo with him and posting it because my STBchefX worked for him long ago and thought he was a talentless douche and I thought it would be fun to get the rise. Now I regret not asking for the photo – the irony is killing me. This was before this news hit and wouldn’tchaknow my douche’s OW was also the 28-yr old hostess at his restaurant! Chef = Narcissist. Now, he’s never admitted cheating, but I found the evidence and don’t need him to admit it to know. Sadly, those super chump things flood back … the day I worked there and she had a breakdown mouthing “I can’t do this anymore” and when I asked FW what was wrong he said “Don’t worry about it” (I actually thought about comforting her). A party thrown at the restaurant and her skimpy outfit and fuck me pumps and me in full gaslight mode thinking, “There’s no way, she’s a kid, he’s a grown man” but I felt like shit for some reason. Yes, I had my own DDay when I saw the phone records and her tweets but he still has not confessed. This way his narctitude is served – he can look like the good, honest guy and he keeps her in the pick me dance (I’d say poor girl but she’s an ass) because she can’t go public 1.5 years after he’s moved out. Sure he wines and dines her and makes her feel like she’s the one. But wasn’t she there when he was doing that to me? Doesn’t she see her future? You can have him and all his douchedom!! Every day I am one step closer to Meh! Thanks all!!

  • OMG the quote from Dean McDermott cannot POSSIBLY be true. And yet, that wasn’t a link to an Onion article!

    Thank you for the tremendously beneficial belly laughs today, CL. It is cathartic to laugh over the utter ridiculousness of it all.

  • I have despised Flay for years and refer to him as an evil ginger. My mom watches his brunch show every morning.
    Now there is even more reason to hate that Evil Ginger.
    What is wrong with society that SO many people find this type of behavior acceptable.
    As far as Ina, I love her and watched her for many years. I fashioned my relationship with the x wasband like her and Jeff. Boy was I wrong. This past week, I have had a really hard time even watching Ina, because I feel that I live in such chaos since the discard and it is so remote that I will ever have my own home again thanks to a douche, oh and I loved to cook, but now, I see no reason… too many calories and my efforts are just not appreciated.
    Wow, I am an angry bitter bunny this week!
    Poor Stephanie, I really hope she makes out well in the divorce and that the evil ginger has to pay and pay…
    gaaaahhh!

  • I hate cooking shows so there is no loss in it for me…my singular awks meeting with OW was at deadHusbands military retirement ceremony/party. She brought a fake date to throw off suspicion, but she walked up to me, looked me straight in the eye and said how nice it was to meet me. I would love to see her again so I could punch her in the face.

    And I love that she walks around on planet earth KNOWING that I KNOW what a piece of shit she is…she may put on a show for others, but I know the truth

    wishing I could think if an insult as good as “Spawn of Phlegm” to put here

  • I think it’s weird cause they look alike.
    Creepy!
    Can’t wait to see how his restaurants and shows tank after this. I predict Karma is going to kick this guys ass.

  • I think I mentioned this once before, but my sister is friends with the (an??) ex-wife of Marc “How to Cook Everything” Bittman.

    It turns out, he’s more like, “How to Screw Everything” (and cheat your wife out of support when you’re a millionaire celebrity chef…)

    What is it with fame & cheating? Which is cart; which, horse? Which is chicken; which–egg?

  • “Yeah, what kind of meal says “I’m sorry I fucked my assistant for three years”? ”

    Maybe it takes a veterinarian to see it, but I think his dick on a plate would pair well with a nice Tempranillo.

  • I loved Stephanie March on Law & Order – SVU and could not believe she was the cheated upon spouse of Funny Face Flay. I love Anthony Bourdain (I would be very disappointed if I discovered he was a cheater) and I like watching Martha (Stewart) because she went to jail – and thrived. She’s gangster. The rest of the “cooking show people” I can take or leave. I never liked Bobby Flay – I thought he was a jerk. Some members of Cheater McTurdstain’s family like Bobby, however. Go figure. Stephanie needs to talk to Ivana “Don’t Get Mad, Get Everything” Trump. She, too, had a pre-nup but ended up getting more than was in the pre-nup through a legal challenge. I’m not a Trump fan at all, but “the Dick-Head” (also known as “the Donald”) publicly humiliated her (remember the affair discovery when he had Marla at the same hotel on the floor above where he and Ivana and the children were staying on vacation? What a pig – and I offer an apology to actual pigs everywhere for the comparison) and she classily fought him and won quite the settlement. Shades of our dear Roberta. Marla thought she was special – until The Dickhead showed her that she wasn’t.

    Someone once penned a quote in the comments that said “the mills of the Gods grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly fine.” It will be interesting to see how things work out for Ms. Elyse. He’s been seeing her for three years and she would still be, what CL so affectionately refers to as, “a side dish fuck” if Stephanie had not found about them and filed for divorce. How does that make you special, unless you mean special like someone people should avoid.

    I hate these cheaters and their cheatees.They make my ass hurt.

  • I have no idea who these people are, but the whole AP meet the wife- jokes on her! stuff is demented.

    Sounds like most have been there, done that. For me it was with his co worker fuck buddy. She would never make eye contact, ignore me or simply talk THROUGH me. I was even asked by asshole to contact many times when we were in Europe to help facilitate her fucking vacation. Gads. The joke WAS me and I never even knew. These people suck.

      • Yes, ANC, the joke was me as well, perfect way to describe it when ex brought BOTH his AP’s around me and my children, one of them even painted paintings we hung on our walls. Sick sick sick

  • statements like “he needs to make her some ‘get out of jail meals” are a big part of the reason that I get so fucking angry at cheaters that I want to tie them to a stake and take a flame thrower to them…

    THIS IS NOT A JOKE YOU CHEATING FUCKS PEOPLE COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT

    Phew, thanks, I feel better…

  • thanks ANC, I fear I come across as a bit of a freak sometimes – I really do have a great sense of humour (and perhaps a healthy ego haha) – and I can laugh about the insanity of it all sometimes… But something about cheater joking about cheating… I just find it so tone-deaf and offensive.

    Oh and no one needs to worry about me – I don’t even OWN a flame thrower, and it turns out you can’t rent them. (ummmm, I was asking for a friend…)

    • Its because they really do NOT give a fuck – and this shows, in spades, that behaviour.
      I wouldn’t say you were a freak – I’d say you’re getting righteously pissed off because of their shit behaviour.

    • Jobin, you are not a freak. I was that “friend” wanting the flame thrower for a very long time.

      “A friend will calm you down when you are angry, but a BEST friend will skip beside you with a baseball bat singing ‘someone’s gonna get it!'”

  • Hahaha!!! I think they look alike as well!!!! Weird!
    I met Bobby Flay at a book signing.
    He is the biggest pompous ass ( next to my ex) that I have ever met!!!!

  • I read something that made me really think about what my x did to me for probably 20 out of 22 years. ” Don’t expect her to play her part, if you have other women auditioning for her role.” Sums up the whole spackle, skein of fuckupedness, lying, manipulating, blameshifting and gaslighting that took place in my life. And dammit I didn’t even consciously know I was going out for the part.

  • I have always hated Bobby Flay. Good to know that wasn’t misguided! And, if I recall correctly (and he didn’t lie about that too), my ex went to one of his Vegas restaurants for his bachelor party. Whoever said it takes one to know one…exactly!

    Recently, one of his burger joints replaced the Legal Seafood in my local mall…I was so pissed.

  • I’ve never been able to stomach Blobby Lay and when I heard he was married to Stephanie March I couldn’t understand wth she saw. His show, “Throwdown With Blobby Lay” drove me crazy because I always said what kind of egomaniac has the nerve to challenge someone on their signature dish. Now I know. A narcissist. It all makes sense now. I guess my douchebag radar isn’t so bad when it’s not me in the vulnerable position. Stephanie March can do SOOOOO much better!! So can all of us for that matter.

  • Ah yes my xH brought two friends and one of the APs to our living room one time and they sat and chatted merrily with me. The style she was dressed could best be described as “Babylonian whore”. I loved and trusted my xH blindly and absolutely and had no clue at all, although it was pretty clear from the way she was dressed that the AP was on the prowl even though it was supposedly a casual encounter in the middle of the day.

    This particular AP was a psychologist, and I have often found that APs are in “helping professions” such as teachers, nurses, and psychologists. The logic is that these people spackle their behavior better, that is to say that they rationalize hurting others to themselves by constructing frameworks which obfuscate their behavior. This use of language to make the unacceptable, acceptable reminds me of the Vietnam war where mass murder of civilians was described as “collateral damage” to make it acceptable. One can spot them when they start using euphemisms like authenticity, self-fulfillment, self-realization etc.

    For example:

    We should keep our relationship private (i.e. we should lie) because your wife “doesnt understand you” (i.e. I understand you) until we can “build a new life together” (i.e. you can abandon your wife and kids and leave them without a place to live or college tuition so that I can live off your retirement money).

    or

    I need to “find myself” (i.e. I need to act only in my perceive self interest, and not concern myself with the well being or future of my family) so that I can “realize my potential” (screw as many women as possible.) because we have grown apart (you have wrinkles and your breasts are saggy)

    I actually think my cheater is not ill intentioned, he just lives in a total fantasy world and thus is very susceptible to this sort of self-delusion.

    • Onwardandupward–I think it’s a self-selection phenomenon. If you’re disoredered you go into the helping professions to try and make yourself heal/improve (but some don’t achieve this), or for access to easy prey. [Note–I’m not saying all teachers and psychologists are of this ilk–I’m one myself, but that SOME people do go into professions/volunteer opportunities to best take advantage of others).

      • If you’re disordered, you go into the ‘helping professions’ to learn better how to fuck someone over, or like you said, to take advantage of others.
        Some use it to ‘learn the system’ better, again to take advantage of others. Its sick.
        And I say this being part of one of the ‘helping professions’ too. Yay for doctors being one of the worst professions to cheat on their partners. Not.

    • Onward, I was wondering how your x wasn’t ill intentioned. The reason I am asking is because my therapist just told me the x doesn’t think about any thing he does. That is confusing to me.

  • OK, I’ll admit that I was a reluctant fan of Bobby Flay. While he did give the creeps in some way, I did respect his cooking ability, so I do think he is a talented chef and probably a good business person. He was tough to beat and creative on Iron Chef. I always thought Anthony Bourdain should not have lumped him into the Rachel Ray or Guy Fieri group, since I think he is a real chef and probably most successful chefs are a bit cocky and assertive.

    I’m not excusing his behavior. He is a cheater.

    For me, he falls into the “cheaters with game” category, like Charles Bukowski does for Chump Lady, even if he is a beady eyed creep.

    ps: I am a HUGE Ina fan too. If I ever found out her husband cheated on her, I’d fly to the Hampton’s tomorrow and TP his office and put laxatives in his Beef Bourguignon and moldy bread in his Panzanella. (Ina fans will have made these recipes multiple times)

  • Yes. It’s definitely sick if someone lets his spouse be anywhere near the affair partner.

    Some people are really cruel. But not every cheater is that weird.

    My wife, and I have recovered from her affair. I do think this sort of thing would have made it impossible.

    Anyway, I am glad I forgave my wife. She and I are really finally talking and she treats me much better now in every way. I mean she always treated be nice, except for some distancing when in the affair, but now she is even nicer.

    I am happy I stuck around to work things out and to show my children the true meaning of love.

    • The ‘true meaning of love’ is remaining faithful in good and bad times. Her affair shows she has no love for you or any concern for your well being. You’re teaching your kids it’s okay to let others treat you like crap and there are no consequences for bad behavior.

  • Bobby is a talented chef, can’t take that away from him, and I’ve been watching him since his career took off. Sadly, he cheated with various women during his entire marriage to Stephanie and the flings were well-known, but she stuck in there. This takes it to an entire new level by continuing to publicly humiliate her. His sense of entitlement and narcissistic behavior shouldn’t be a surprise, when we saw him jump up on the counter everyone cooks on, on Iron Chef to show off his perfect prowess. Wow! It won’t be long before Bobby is cheating on his assistant with someone else, as he continues his downward spiral, proving that karma happens with celebrities, too.

  • Three years later and I am still figuring things out. I can’t wrap my head around this behavior–even though it’s conjecture, from what I read here, it is very likely true. When my exh would introduce me to barisstas and waitresses at places he frequented, I thought their distant reactions were odd. No smile, no warmth. Now I imagine that these were young women he tried to have affairs with. They were no warmer to him either though which I thought was awkward. He didn’t seem to notice but he was clueless socially like that. From what I gathered, they knew where he was flying to or had just returned from or the book he was working on–all things he used to try to impress people which made me cringe. This is a rhetorical question, but do narcissists this sort of thing? I can’t wrap my head around even now.

    • Absolutely. They love “getting one over on you”, “sticking it to you”. Never mind that they have no reason to. They are that dark inside. All their emotions are negative ones….disdain, jealousy, envy. I think that’s what fuels their need to punish those nearest and dearest to them.

      • The distain rings true. Every once in a while that would come through because I was so “stupid” to not “get it” that to keep him from threatening to leave me, all I had to do was have more sex. Of course, the sex was so lonesome for me–begging him to slow down never worked. Another story. Chilling to think they would get off and rubbing our faces in it, as they saw it. Thanks for the insight, Einstein. Appreciate it.

      • Yes Einstein, I had to stop going out with x as it as so obvious he was interested in very young girls. He creeped them out and he never acted like he noticed. And when he mentioned the computer screen froze on a warning regarding child porn right before moving in with a whore I knew his dark side was darker than I ever imagined. Of course it was my fault he was dating and needed porn. Believe they are disturbed.

  • Oh, Bobby! Just come clean with it. It’s one thing to fuck a lot of women but quite another to fuck others WHILE MARRIED. Apparently the soon to be xW doesn’t approve of affair partners. I love that fucktard’s lawyers are crying FOUL over all these “allegations” —like it and not the reality will somehow influence the legal case. Our judges took a very punitive approach towards the partner who earned less. Hhhmmmmmmm. Mr. Flay will settle for more than the $5k/month (agreed on in prenup) because it will silence her the hell up and he won’t have to deal with his penis problem. 20 million $ ought to be able to afford plenty -three ex wives, love children, multiple partners, whatevs, right!?!? As to the women who bedded him…..eeeewwwwwwwwww.

  • These cheaters need to all go on an island so we never have to see from them again. Of course only to sign our alimony checks!!

  • I don’t have an opinion on Bobby, but I was very disappointed recently to read about a hero’s American born mother.
    Winston Churchill had a beautiful mother who had numerous affairs (one with the Prince).
    I am disappointed. Poor chump Dad stayed with her through it all.

  • My daughter who is now one and I were dumped by my ex husband (not soon enough to be) when she was 6 months for another woman (she still married) who the ex chef only had known for two months. He is an ego driven maniac who could not handle the attention I gave our daughter and jumped on the first beating vagina that put it out in the open. These chefs although some talented have this illusion that they are amazing and deserve equivalent treatment as of they were real meaningful celebrities, like my ex who by no means is as talented or successful as Bobby Flay. We had been together over a decade and married 7 years, planned our first kid and as soon as he realized that babies can’t stroke your ego he split. Good riddance yes, but still shocked at how with a small amount of attention weak people forget where they came from enough to want nothing to do with his daughter, not even buy her a box of formula nothing! Not exaggerating.

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