I feel my anger has taken a patronus form – a huge tiger that sits there silently reminding me to stay on guard. It’s good now. Anger came back when I realized the kids and I were putting up with things that aren’t normal – that are abusive. So I traded silent hurt projected inward to an anger that protects by projecting outward.
I thought this was a terrific concept — an anger patronus!
For those of you non-Harry Potter geeks, a patronus is this sort of guardian animal that appears when you’re in danger. You have to think hard of the people who love you, and positive things, and it just appears. You don’t know what form it will take (a white stag!), but after you summon it, it kicks dementor ass and protects you from harm.
When I was going through the Troubles, I definitely summoned a sort of patronus. I summoned Chump Lady. There was no Chump Lady then, but I conjured up her persona in my darkest hours. She was several parts Aretha Franklin, South African freedom fighter, and WASP-y matron who takes no shit.
When I was paralyzed with depression and indecision, my persona patronus would appear and kick some ass. “Let’s call the lawyer! Let’s make a plan!” And when his rages got scary, she would appear out of nowhere in a towering rage right back at him. She would’ve killed the motherfucker if her chumpy, sensible self hadn’t intervened.
So today, the question is — who is your patronus? If you could summon all your guts and courage into one being, what form would it take?