Stay in Touch

Check out CL's Book

Adult Friend Finder Is Hacked

cuddle

You may be shocked and dismayed to learn that the swinger site Adult Friend Finder was hacked, exposing the secrets of 3.5 million cheaters clients.

And the hacker isn’t one bit sorry.

“This woman’s life is turned upside down” said the CNN reporter to the young hacker, attempting to shame him into some sort of contrition.

“Just WHY?” she asks.

“I was in a bad place, just out of rehab…” replies the hacker.

Sweet Jesus, the irony.

Cheaters, hey, the hacker had FOO issues. He was in a bad place. That’s why he had to expose the kinky details of your double life to all and sundry. You like big, black cocks, and you’re free this Thursday? Hey, if you reframe this, he was doing you a service, putting that message out there. The hacker really fails to understand your hostility. Can’t you be happy for him? It gave him a rush, he says! Hacking is really just about the desire to feel more alive.

Empathize with your hacker. Haven’t you ever felt the desire to crack the code of guarded databases? One night you have one drink too many, next you’re writing algorithms to unlock passwords. It could happen to anyone. It was a mistake. Get over it!

Ask yourself what you did to compromise your personal information that caused this hacker to hack.

I think you need to own your part in this.

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at info@chumplady.com. Read more about submission guidelines.
    • Of course, because they have rights !!! LOL… My cheater is always going on about fairness to him and his rights…..doesn’t seem to care too much about other peoples rights he trampled over….OH the irony !!

      • This^^^^^
        It is all about their right.
        They don’t care that they have violated your rights, but are quick to remind you of your infringing on theirs.

    • I hope they feel betrayed. LOL. What’s up with the reporter shaming the hacker for exposing the slutbag cheaters?

      That’s why there are so many cheaters these days. No shame attached to it. It’s trendy. It’s expected. It’s wink wink, nudge nudge, something everyone is doing these days and the conspiracy of silence enables it.

    • Is this sit for people who were cheated on in committed relationships as well? My liar was my domestic partner for 5 years, I caught him with another woman after being accused constantly of cheating on him. But it seems everyone was married on here. Am I in the wrong place?

      • Absolutely, Lori. Cheating is cheating; it doesn’t matter how you would label your relationship. This is a site for anyone who has been cheated on, and I think that you’ll find that it’s a great resource.

        • Okay thank you. I posted my story a comment below. Coming here makes me feel less like I’m the crazy one.

          • Making you feel like the “crazy one” is cheater, narcissist 101. I thought I was losing my mind. Before CL, I didn’t even know what gaslighting was. Read on, you’ll find stunning similarities….

      • Lori, I wasn’t married either. I don’t even know for sure that I was cheated on; all I know is that my domestic partner of 5 years suddenly split without looking back. I identify with and enjoy the folks here, so to me it doesn’t matter.

        Many of the people here come from a place of choosing to walk away from an unhealthy relationship. I wasn’t given a choice in the matter. I still feel like I belong.

        • That’s basically what happened to me. I had lots of evidence but without SOLID facts, he would just deny. He would brow beat me constantly about alleged affairs in the crudest manner possible. He called me constantly demanding I FaceTime him so he could verify I was really at work. I found a GPS he had installed in my car. Of course he never found anything. So I put my iPad in his car and used “find my iPad ” with my phone. I found him a few towns away at another woman’s house. I was waitng for him when he came out at 2am and kissed her goodnight. He moved out, never an explanation. I really lost my dignity begging him back. I’m about 7 weeks out from the day I caught him but only 2 weeks NC. A**hole.

          How long has it been since this happened to you?

          • 9 months. She went to New York to visit her parents while I stayed home and struggled with changing anti-depressants. I had my hands full not killing myself, so I didn’t do the chores she expected me to handle while she was gone. A week later she declared that she’d been thinking of leaving for about 8 months, though this was the first I’d heard of it. That was it. No discussion. No conversation about it. As she put it, it wasn’t a negotiation. I was abruptly fired from being her partner.

              • I’m sorry for your situation as well, and it’s kind of you to ask how I’m doing. I’m still struggling a bit. I’m socially awkward and already had low self-esteem, so losing who I thought of as my partner and best friend still stings. There are days when I have to remind myself that she really did walk out on me, that the person who promised to love me forever could blithely say “I meant it at the time” and then walk (well, more like sprint) away. I feel like discarded trash in a lot of ways. I feel like I’ll never be in another relationship, and that scares me. For the first time in my life I fully understand the importance of having a satisfying life on my own, but I don’t have much of a clue on what it’ll take for me to have one.

                As difficult as 9 months may be, I’m sure none of us miss how we felt at 7 weeks. It’s not a pain olympics, but you’re obviously in a much rawer place than I am at the moment. It’s gotten a little better by virtue of not being as fresh, and new routines have started to settle, but it still sucks.

            • I wish I were in a place to offer advice to uplift you. I am in a place where if I said anything I’d have to scold myself for not taking my own advice! LOL! I know the feeling of being discarded like trash. I do know know something else though….good people don’t treat others this way. If you could never see yourself doing what was done to you, well you are ahead of the game. They have to live with themselves…toxic!

          • Lori, the only reason he did the facetime, the GPS so he knew exactly where you were, thus acting accordingly, so he wouldn’t get caught.

            • That is EXACTLY what my best friend said!!! She told me the GPS was to know where I was so I wouldn’t show up where HE was. I work 24″s so he wanted to make sure I was where isaid I was…for at least 25 hours! Dirty dog! But he picked me apart! I was every lying whore, accused me of performing sex acts on men at work! It was horrible! Tear me apart just so you could slither around with others! And for what?!? Why keep me around at all!

              • Because he is a slithering snake Lori, nothing more nothing less! He kept you around because you were of use, maybe for money, sex, maybe someone to fall back on if it didn’t work out with his fuck buddies. My ex, the cheating fuckwit use to call me 20 times a day, then ask what I was doing, where I was, where was I driving…you get the picture..and he was so sweet about it, what I didn’t know at the time, this way he didn’t go to certain parts of town where I might be. He was cheating on me from day one and I wasted almost a decade on this slime. Like CL says, your ex is a mindfuck, he purposely kept you off balance so he could do what he wanted to do, made you second guess yourself, made you feel like you were the crazy one. He was gaslighting you. Be very glad you know the truth now, that he is a lying, cheating scumbag! Keep no contact and I promise you, it will get better. He will eventually call, text you, they always do. Don’t reply to anything, even if he baits you, let him be someone else’s problem now and rebuild yourself a new, better life one step at a time. Your life is so precious and life is so much better without the lying cheat, ask me how I know 😉

          • Hey Lori; I see the other Chumps beat me to it, but the GPSing was indeed to know where YOU were, so he could get away with his SHIT!! And the reason he kept you around is the sneaking around, lying and getting away with it is most of the fun! Without that, most of these fuck buddy sagas waste away in no time. Making YOU the ENEMY is half the fun! Believe me, a Chump could never understand this mindset. We get picked because we are naïve, no one wants this done to them….but there are evil people who get a real kick out of getting away with it! I know it is hard to give up on tying to “figure it out,” but that will be the worst crime against yourself you can commit. I did not discover CL until I was already quite a ways in. Trying to “figure it out” took all my time, and I never got close to figuring it out other than he was trying to fuck with my head to get away with more for a longer time. It hurts like HELL to know someone you loved could do this to you. Lori, you are seven weeks closer to sanity! Welcome!!

  • Wonderful, where can I access the list of real names 😉 to see if my serial cheating, sexually deviant Ex is on there. Not that I care, cause I don’t, LOL.

    • Oooooh, this is my question, too. The very first time I found that he was posting ads for sex was on AFF. I’d never heard of it before that day. He changed his profile since the day I pulled out a printed copy of his ad, where he describes himself as “honest” and “down to earth.”

  • I wish my soon to be ex was on one of these sites and had this happen to him because here’s what he did to me. I realized a few months ago that he’d somehow gotten into my email. This is illegal and gave him access to not just all my email, but also to my confidential correspondence with my divorce attorney.

    So, did I confront him? No. I knew he’d lie. I baited him. I sent myself an email entitled “more crazy texts from Jim”. I didn’t open it but left it bold and slid it into a file called “crazy Jim”. The text of the email said “I know you’re getting into my email somehow. Please stop”. I watched this email for a couple of months. Every time I logged into my email account it was still there, until last week when it wasn’t. It was completely gone. I am angry, it’s a violation, but I am also very, very amused. I should have just posted a neon sign saying “LOOK HERE!”

    Can’t wait until this is done. Cheaters are devious in so many aspects of their lives.

    • mine did the same once we split, he somehow hacked my emails, facebook account and again not sure how my phone, so he knew i had been talking to , it made me feel like i had been violated and i was and am very upset by this, he even re told me a private conversation i had with my best friend about a man that i had a dinner date with, he knew word for word, WTF , am still not sure if he is spying on me to this day, 5 day no contact, go me lol

      • My guess is he somehow got spyware on your phone before he left. You can take your phone back to the store you bought it from or you can back it up and then restore it to factory settings.

        The spyware they have out there is pretty sophisticated and it can record all phone conversations.

        Also-unless the phone is in his name, if he did put spyware on your phone it’s completely illegal. I’m not sure if you could prove he did it or not and obviously if you reset the phone it would get rid of all of the evidence. An IT geek might be able to help you figure it out.

        I looked into spyware when I found out about the exhole’s affair. It was way too James Bond for me and the illegal thing scared the crap out of me. I would get your phone checked out. Ironic that a cheater is spying on you.

      • If you are computer savvy, you need to factory restore your computer – if you’re not, take it to someone who can.
        Make sure you back up anything important that you have. When you have the factory restored computer (without the keyloggers) then change your passwords (or change your passwords on a computer/device that you know isn’t infected, and don’t log in again until you know the computer is clean). Change the passwords to stuff that isn’t easily guessable. Then its ‘so long!’ to him spying on you. Could also be used as leverage in a settlement, too, if you can get any proof hes doing it.

  • “Cheaters are devious in so many aspects of their lives”

    The irony is they think their so smart but when you get down to it they are just dumb and impulsive.

  • AHAHAHAHAAHAHA! I remember coming home after a weekend visiting my family to find this site opened and… a file of pictures of his penis. Granted, it was 2008 (I think, too much disorder to recall the exact year), so I don’t know whether the hack will expose – *ahem – him. But I can only hope!

    • What is it with penis pics? Does anyone actually find that exciting in a good way? Anyone?

      I’m sure the OW is really good at praising the penis pics–she knows what buttons to push to get what she wants.

      But I find it really hard to believe that anyone thinks, “What a great guy. I love him. I love that he sends me penis pics.”

      • Yeah, what is it with Penis pix. Ugh. If some guy sent me a penis picture, it would not turn me on. It would make me run. It’s stupid for one, and sleazy, and pervy, and well penis’s are a personal thing, not something you expose on a phone that. Any kiddie hacker can hack a phone.

      • I bowled with the woman responsible for all this. After a first date the guy sent her a dick pic; her response was an impressed “yes please”. I figure it’s her fault that guys think this will work – because in at least one case it did!

        • This is just a general comment but so many of these Adult sites are covers for prostitution. Which is usually a cover for organized crime, especially against women. The sex slave industry is kicking. They just had a gigantic bust in my city. Prostitution, drugs, guns, porn, they are all part of the same giant web.
          I bet a lot of women on adult friend finder are caught in this against their will.

          • This is just a general comment but so many of these Adult sites are covers for prostitution.

            I have noticed in the immigration section of O’Hare airport posters helping readers to identify slave labor in their neighborhood. Is it really that close to all of us?

      • Lol! Maybe I am just old, but penis pics are gross! I don’t understand the thrill of nude pics in general, when sent for the purpose of arousal. My STBX always liked porn and pics of naked women, I just find it degrading. I also don’t get phone and computer sex either but perhaps my STBX is right in his assumption that I’m a 40 yr old prude. Guess that’s why he had to get a 28 year old girlfriend who enjoys those things!

      • not me Miss Sunshine! I never got that either, seriously, why any man in their right mind would think sending a pic of their penis to a woman will get that woman hot and bothered? If that was me that would completely turn me off and dislike the guy immediately! Having said that, my cheating ex’s shithead brother tried to show me his dick picture on his phone, telling me his ex-gf took those pictures and that she said his was the biggest she has ever seen. My response, thanks but no thanks, I don’t want to see it or look at it, then I told him “don’t ya know every girl tell that to their man just to boost his ego?” I didn’t like him before and after that I disliked him even more…Idiot hit on me repeatedly and if I said yes he would’ve have no problem betraying his brother. My ex had to tell him to back off more than once while my ex was screwing others and his brother knew all about his cheating…The whole family…. complete losers!

        • Penis pics. Gross. I had a group of coworkers discussing them when one day and every single woman (18 to 55 years old) agreed not sexy, kind of sleazy to downright pervy, not interesting (except for maybe one staged picture with a 2 liter pop bottle to get a size comparison – he called himself Big 8 which is a brand name for a grocery store’s sodas in my area). Do any of these guys realize that heterosexual women might be impressed by a penis in person but we prefer pictures of other parts. Me, I personally like pictures of attractive smiles and the occasional really nice tight jeans from behind but not the naked penis (in all its glory the photo of it just looks like another dildo).
          LOL, one of my favourite books I read about housewife porn had pictures of fully clothed men in tight t-shirts and slim fitting jeans doing household chores like dishwashing, feeding/bathing children, fixing the leaking faucet etc. with captions like “Honey, don’t worry about getting dinner ready, I’ve already cooked supper, fed the baby and poured you a glass of wine”

  • Yeah ….Blame Shift Much Folks!!!

    It’s another version of “it’s not what I DID, but how you reacted to it”.

    Cause your cheating crappy entitled ass should never have been on Adult Fuck Finder in the first place!!!!

    I am sipping my coffee in peace this morning cause this does not bother me one bit.

    In fact, I would like to invite this guy to hack Trashley as well, and maybe Craigslist if he has time.

    • Speaking of Craigslist……yesterday I posted an item for sale on there. My curiosity got the best of me and I took a look at what the postings say.

      I didn’t venture to read any of the actual ‘ads’—the opening lines were enough to make me feel like I needed to take a shower and rinse my eyeballs with saline solution.

      That little foray was enough for me. It both scared and bewildered me. It CERTAINLY didn’t entice me. SICK PEOPLE SEEKING SICK PEOPLE.

        • If you think those are bad, you should see the “men seeking men” ads. I looked at those a couple of times because I knew my ex had looked at them. Whooee, they are NASTY.

          • Haha, you *did* pay a visit to “The Mushroom Farm”! That particular section of craigslist earned its nickname the first time I clicked on that section out of morbid curiosity… when I forgot and had the gallery view enabled, so the whole page was a sea of thumbnails… 😛 Not sure why guys think this should be their calling card, ’cause it does nothing for the rest of us!

  • While I do not support hacking, I find this funny and a “deserves them right” sort of story. “Be sure your sin will find you out” also comes to mind. Clearly, the people using this sites do not want certain others (spouses?) know about their misdeeds.

    • I agree that identity fraud is no laughing matter (the IRS also got hacked this week), but I couldn’t resist the irony of the reporter trying to shame the hacker about his hacking.

      Also, I’m not really clear who saw the details other than the hacker. If he posted it somewhere, or who was affected? This story didn’t seem to get a lot of coverage. CNN’s money page?

      • Hey fellow chumps:

        Cheaters hate to be duped. They only like to do the duping. The reporter who tried to shame the hacker was likely cheating herself or hoping to. It’s real trendy now to cheat. Another notch on the old bed post. The conspiracy of silence and the wink wink regarding cheating has got to stop.

        The trendiness is a problem, too. Women in particular love to boast that they lured a man away from his wife, and that shows how great they are. Yowza, what a bunch of lunatics.

        Anyways, I really screwed the OW my husband was stooping. I know the whore’s husband and. his family. I showed him and his siblings all the goodies I found. Those included slutty photographs, junior high style love letters and texts and goofy gifts. Boy did the OWs husband get shite from his siblings after they found out, for spoiling the whore. Apparently, they never liked her. They always thought she acted like a princess and their stupid brother treated her like a queen.

        The whore used to brag about how her husband treated her like a queen……maids, cooks, nannies, frequent vacations, as much plastic surgery, lipo and ass fat transfers to her face that her body could stand without shutting down.

        Well, LOL, the husband stayed with her, but guess what. His family gave him so much shite about spoiling her and attributed his spoiling to her cheating. So, now, no more spoiling LOL. She is still married but miserable. She now cooks, cleans, dyes her own hair that awful russian red she uses and no nannie. She still gets vacations, though, drats, ’cause the husband needs them.

        Oh well, I ran into the husband yesterday, and he thanked me for telling him and his sister and brother because he said, his wife is finally acting like a real wife and not some spoiled queen. LOL.

        Exposure sure is a beeotch. LOL.

  • My guess is Mr Hacker had a score to settle. Its an interesting target and no with no gain to him. Some noteriaty but at what pay out … He was at rock bottom , in rehab.
    It will a good year to release your book CL… 3.5 million more chumps! You could be a millionaire! Keep that magic pen of yours at the ready!

    • The Charlie guy interviewed was just a paid employee of the “mastermind” who had some weird revenge porn thing going on. The hacker did it for money. Actually, in that interview I posted, he does seem sorry in a sad sausage kind of way.

      I wonder at that 3.5 million member thing. It seems like all these dating married sites claim such huge membership. (Of course, cheaters could be members of multiple sites.) There are accusations of fake profiles and such. But yeah, sadly, there a lot of chumps out there.

  • Hacking and identity theft really isn’t a joke. Neither has happened to me but I suspect that the multiple, flaming hoops (and an insane amount of money) my state made me jump through to get back the name I was born with has a lot to do with identity theft.

    I don’t condone illegal activities of any kind so I am not enjoying the crime perpetrated against all of these people (cheaters or otherwise). I am however enjoying immensely the way chump lady used all the cheaters and their apologists words against them. They spew that exact same crap at us chumps in the exact same way and they don’t realize how ridiculous it sounds. It’s kind of funny to see those words being used in the context of a hacker. It’s just as absurd.

    Unfortunately cheaters would never understand that analogy because most of them arrive to a battle of wits completely unarmed.

    More fun for us I suppose.

  • Ba ha ha, the irony!! The Karma Bus or a SEMI? The cheater’s life is turned upside down? awwww my heart bleeds….NOT!!!

    Like they say, “The truth will set you free!” 🙂

  • Boo Hoo! Now whoever will have to wait until the weekend for big, black cock. Not Thursday as planned. Now that is what I call a crime!

  • I’d say that being a cheating whore is actually what messed the woman in the article’s life up.

  • Interesting. Kind of sounds like the exposing their deeds is worse than their deeds sort of situation–a common cheater trope, of course. And I agree, identity theft is not a laughing matter. Exposing cheaters does not justify the corrupt means.

    • Not sure if I should bother to look for my cheater on the list as he preferred other sites. But the idea of millions of cheaters having to go to work and act normal, suffering anxiety attacks, finding their world no longer safe just breaks my heart. Cracks it right up with laughter. I’m sure they won’t have any trouble getting over it.

  • I realize everyday that there is no such thing as privacy anymore, and I think it is sad. It is also reality. I am not hung up on the naked human body, but I think there is a time and place for what is appropriate. If you go to a nude beach or a nudist colony, don’t get upset with what you see — you made the choice to go there. This being said, I think you should always ask yourself why you, or anyone else, needs a picture of you nude. I still do not understand the “glamour” of sexting. I think it is sad that celebrities get so much attention for “selfies” in various unsavory activities that the public thinks these things are “cool”. It pains me to think that underage kids can get a criminal record for this type of activity. Revenge porn is only possible if you comply with the wishes of your so called lover and let him have access to this type of private information. If you don’t want other people to see you in those poses, don’t pose. If it gets on the internet, it may be there forever.

    As for me, I can’t imagine a quicker way to end a possible relationship than for me to receive a “dick flick”. Any man who thinks sending me that type of “introduction” is sadly mistaken if he thinks that would be a positive first impression. It seems beyond rude — and screams entitlement and vanity to me. What happened to starting a relationship with conversation?

  • Although a lot of cheaters do use Adult Friend Finder, I really do feel bad for the people who are single and/or in consensual non-monogamous relationships that their nformation has been released to all and sundry.

  • How come I don’t know any hackers???? I need a hacker and I don’t care what size penis or boobs they have!!!! Ugh some people have all the luck.

  • I didn’t realize Adult Friend Finder was a married dating site. I thought it was just a hook up site. Don’t get me wrong, it’s one of disgusting ways my ex was accessing tail until he found all free stuff. He was if nothing else, a cheap bastard. But if this guy hacked this site and posted information about single users that bothers me. I guess posting pictures out there is an obvious risk but this revenge porn hacker thing is most often targeted at women and takes completely private pictures or videos and posts them. I have never posted pictures online but my ex did post pictures of me on Fetelife without my permission or knowledge and god knows where else. These pictures were taken with my ex who was at the time my fiance. Women and men should have a right to their private….er pictures of their privates. I know of one woman who had her honeymoon video posted on numerous sites. So I guess I’m ok with outing cheaters, but not sharing info just because someone is on an adult site. But correct me if I’m wrong about Adult Friend Finder. I haven’t looked too closely at the site.

    • Yep. After reviewing the article I stand by my original assessment. This is not a site spefically for cheater hookups. It is in effect an act of terrorism. And the men involved should be put away for a long time. We may not like people dressing up in slutty morals but it doesn’t mean they’re “asking for it”. Although I bet my ex is having a oh crap moment.

      • Kat, thanks for pointing this out. I will edit to say “swinger” website, because that is how it describes itself. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_FriendFinder

        Look, I don’t agree with ANYONE being hacked, especially in this case, people who were single or being open and honest about their swinging with their partners. They’re victims of identity theft and revenge porn.

        The site does cater to the “non-monogamous” — which of course attracts cheaters. The site also apparently attracts prostitution, according to the Wiki page. I have a little less sympathy for the cheaters.

        • Ok. I’m confused. Adult Friend Finder got hacked by a different guy than the hacker who is being shamed by the CNN reporter. That guy was Charlie Evens who Was involved in revenge porn although he was working for someone else.. The guy who hacked AFF is out of Thailand? And goes by the hacker name ROR[RG]? Then another hacker used the info to out people. Um. CL? I think these might be two separate stories? Smack me if I’m incorrect. I remember seeing the Charlie Evens story on a CNN special and thinking how awful it was what he did to those women.

  • Okay, I agree that hacking is not a laughing matter. However, I had a chuckle regarding this one. Adult Friend Finder was/is one of my ex’s favorites, along with Fling.com and the standard fallback: Craigslist Casual Encounters. Since so many of these websites are cached, I was able to check his computer – even if he was extremely careful about turning on the private mode with his browsing history. With so many cookies discovered from these, and numerous related sites, I believe a whole village of Kiebler Elves have been living and working in there. (Yes, he didn’t know about deleting the cookies from the computer.) Mr. So-Cool-butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-his-mouth-while-he-lied-to-my-face-about-his-affairs might be breaking a bit of a sweat on this one. I’m just calmly sipping tea as I write this…smiling.

  • CNN Reporter: Why in the world did you hack into this site and breach all standards of integrity and fair dealing?

    Hacker: It’s complicated.

  • Believe me, relish and savor cheater schadenfreude as much as the next chump, but I am at unease here. The revenge porn motivation is horrible and completely abusive. Isn’t this like breaking into a house and rifling through someone’s personal stuff?

    • Revenge porn is abhorrent.

      As I wrote above, I just couldn’t resist the irony of the reporter trying to shame the hacker, and I imagined a similar conversation between a chump and a cheater.

      Gee, you mean someone destroyed your life for their sick jollies? You were sexually humiliated? Some total stranger knows intimate details about your life?

      Yeah, a chump couldn’t BEGIN to understand that.

      • Yes, it pisses me off that some whore knows personal information about me, thanks to turd butt. I got info on her from him, not because I give a shit but 1) just to see if I could and 2) as a payback. It’s nice to know he would spill this whore’s secrets as well. Isn’t she special, lol? Obviously not.

      • Totally digging the irony and the teaching moment. All the spew that Chumps buy into when it comes out of a Narcs mouth is exposed as ridiculous when CL spews it from the hackers mouth. Kudos to CL

  • I wish I had something profound to write. It all just makes me so sad. I have to remind myself that the world also gave us Rosa Parks(my absolute heroine), Ghandi, Marva Collins, Mozart, Monet and others. Just thinking about all those cheaters makes me sick. For every cheater how much collateral damage will there be?

    • Not to increase your sadness, but the three men on that list are all suspected of infidelity as well.

      • Ok, then Rosa Parks and Marva Collins. Sheesh! There are no heroes!
        I think the world is going to have to accept hacking. No one, no country has been able to stop it.

  • Of course, the only reason the a-holes who had their data breached had any reason for concern is that they were on AdultFriendFinder because they’d chosen to betray their spouses.

    Reminds me of the kid who killed both his parents and then asked for sympathy because he was an orphan.

    • It’s NOT a cheater only site. There are plenty of innocent albeit kinky weirdos on there. It IS NOT anybody’s business what somebody’s sexual encounters are if they are single or in an agreed upon non traditional relationship. I would be horrified to find my personal details and individual kinks shared publicly. This is not Ashley Madison. This hacker should be ashamed of himself!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Kat, I agree. I commented further up above.

        Again, I was just making satire of the Blame the Victim stance.

        YES, whoever did this hacking was criminally WRONG. NO ONE deserves to be publicly humiliated.

        I just think there is a great irony in a cheater being on that site (and I would guess that a LOT of their membership is married, which is even true of Match.com) who take umbrage at being publicly humiliated, and fails to consider their chump.

      • The hacker should be ashamed, but given my personal experience with infidelity I shouldn’t be expected to have sympathy for his victims, most of whom are moral turd blossoms.

        So, yes, here, on an infidelity support site, when to my knowledge there has been no general publication of anyone’s “innocent kink,” I’m going to have a chuckle at the expense of these goofballs.

      • One of my family members was chumped by her craptastic Ex with a Whoe-ron he met via AFF. He’s her 4th..or 5th?? husband. I’m sure it will all end well, and no one continues to cheat.

        (PS. the karma bus in this: he wanted to “feel younger” and she has grandkids, so he gets to be Grandpa now. heh. Oh and of course his own kids have eaten the giant shit sandwich and loathe him.)

        cackle cackle.

    • My asshole established a profile there. I hope his was hacked. I wasn’t aware he was swinging. So how many other swingers on that site are simply cheaters wearing a facade?

      The funniest thing he said to me about his profile on that site was how upset he was to discover it was a bait and switch. You had to pay for a profile in order to get pussy! All the build up of making new friends and time spent establishing his profile to obtain matches. Waaaah! He couldn’t get to his matches without a CC.

  • I wish hackers a slow death for the problems and misery they cause. That being said, I can’t help but chuckle at CL’s parsing and second Nomar’s take on this.

  • I feel bad for the singles who look for kink and their privacy has been hacked. Hey you want a threesome in clown suits and Barry Manilow’s Lola blasting in the background, or wearing a diaper in a man crib and mamma is gonna give you spanking for being a baaaad little baby….it’s you right… to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

    What the hell happened to real conversation on the telephone instead of texting. What the hell happened to a real date, and not a tinder or kik hookup. What’s with selfies and Instagraming every move you make and how fab your life is. Are these people in the moment or too preoccupied with managing the moment on social network. What’s with night clubs, women dancing in groups and guys in groups moving in on them and giving them groin bumps. Is that dancing? Has the movie, A night at the Roxbury, Butabi Brothers taken over the world with tinder, adult friend finder, kik alla Trashley Madison new age mating.

    Call me old fashioned, but I think technology has destroyed human interaction with a real voice and a real date and real dancing. I cannot see myself groin butting random women and call it dancing, I don’t want selfies and nude photos to decide if she’s worth a 2 dollar coffee date.

    • I don’t feel bad for the singles, you must know how easy it is to get laid these days! Who needs a site? Just flatter a few people & dicks get hard & legs fall open. I would hardly call it a score anymore. In my industry, it is typical for women to have sex in exchange for business. And I am in health care. (Try competing with that with a plate of brownies!)
      These sites just make it easier than easy.

  • I grew up in a pretty tough neighborhood. There, if you f*cked with someone, it was generally accepted that you were then a target. You might get lucky and not have some sort of revenge enacted on you, but generally you accepted that someone might, in retaliation, f*ck with you.

    Cheaters and knowing APs f*ck with people’s lives, all in the places where it hurts deeply and close to home emotionally: finances, family, health, trust. I in no way condone revenge. And I am NOT a fan of hacking (I ran IT departments for a very, very large company once, and hacking attempts and related activities caused me more agita than I care to willingly recall).

    Having said that, that a cheater and/or an AP could f*ck with people in those ways and not expect one of them to retaliate in some way/shape/form is, in my view, completely stupid. You roll the dice big time when you mess with people’s lives in those ways. It takes some equally disordered f*cktard to seek such revenge, but trust me when I tell you that those people are out there, and they will – and do – act on their sense of vengeance just as cheater and AP f*cktards act on their own distorted senses of entitlement.

    Moral of the story? Don’t negligently and knowingly f*ck with other people’s lives, ever.

    • These are words to the wise, and it never hurts to be reminded of that. Trouble is, those who need this warning the most lack wisdom, by definition.

      • Chumpguy – Probably true. Having said that, the people that I knew “back in the day” would not have been described as wise (not by a long shot), yet they understood that there could be negative repercussions for their negative actions…

  • And of course how ironic that those who destroy the peace, the families, and the lives of others so cavalierly are outraged that the personal data they share with strangers is made public. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I’ve arrived at the point where I am truly far happier alone than I would be trying to deal with people who are so grossly screwed up. And I don’t mean the hacker.

    • Particularly when those whose lives they smash apart, most emphatically did NOT choose to share their “personal data” with strangers. I saw a link somewhere to a site called “What a world we live in”, or something along those lines. Indeed.

  • “This woman’s life is turned upside down”

    Never mind anyone else. Just her. Her life is turned upside down. Boo Hoo. This hacker is a little bit like the guy that killed Dahmer in prison. No one thinks the murder was right, but there is that whole “public service” element to the crime that just makes you think…well…maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all…

    Dear Judge,

    Please be lenient to the hacker.

    He did us a public service.

    Thanks.

    Chump Nation.

    • Unless she wasn’t a cheater and she was just looking for kinky sex, which is her business. Hard to know, as the site, as Kat pointed out, is open to all swingers.

    • Scott, I’m Southern and in my home town a man told the OM to stay away from his wife. When he didn’t the cuckolded husband went home, got a rifle and killed him. The grand jury would not true bill him. The general consensus was that he “needed killin'”.

  • Who hasn’t tied one on and then awakened to discover that they SQL injection penetrated a website, then queried user info tables, redirected the output to a file and compressed it and then uploaded it all to a TOR site and then left a link to the file on 4Chan the night before?

    Don’t you hate it when that happens? This is why I try not to drink, myslf. lol

    • I am just kidding, of course. Just pointing out it takes a bit of effort and persistence to complete all the necessary steps.

      • I’m sure the hacker is “just friends” with the 4chan folks and other hackers and general public. The adult friends weren’t meeting his friendship needs, so the hacker found it refreshing to get his needs met through other channels, but he never meant for it to happen – it really was out of his control and one thing led to another.

        • Yeah, if Adult FF were meeting his needs, I am sure things would have gone much differently. Have they tried to 180 him?

          • I love it – the “my dick pick was hacked” 180!!!

            – Do not pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead or implore your hacker to not look at your dick pick.
            – Do not ask for reassurances from the hacker.
            – Do not buy gifts for the hacker.
            – Do not spy on the hacker to see what other dick picks he’s gathered
            – Do not say “I Love You” to the hacker
            – Act as if you are moving on with your life as if millions of people aren’t looking at your dick pick
            – Don’t sit around waiting on your hacker to unhack or return your dick pick– go to church
            – If you are in the habit of asking your hacker his whereabouts, ASK NOTHING.
            – No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your hacker happiness and contentment. Show him a new dick pick and be someone he would not want to hack
            – All questions about the hacking should be put on hold, until your hacker wants to talk about it (which may be a while).
            – Listen carefully to what your hacker is really saying to you.
            – Do not focus on yourself or your dick pick when communicating with your hacker

            • Do not be the dick pic police.
              And Know that your hacker is in as much pain as you are.
              Do not go pain shopping by spying on your hacker.
              Do not contact the hackers OS (other sites).
              Trust that the hacker feels genuine remorse.
              Understand that the hacker must grieve for the dick pic.

  • For cheaters and kinks of all stripes (and anyone else living under a rock) –: PSSSST! THE INTERNET IS NOT ALL THAT SECURE! Pass it on.

    • Amen to that. I read in a book once that if you are sending nudies to people, don’t include your face, lol. My policy is to just not send them. I remember my best friend showed me a pic of her then husband’s penis, in all its glory. I don’t know why she did that, but I wish I could unsee it…..

  • Having had my account hacked twice…for thousands of dollars. I understand the anger toward the hacker. But lets get real people…u put pictures of your dick on the internet….the digital yellow pages…and then you are upset when you get outed? It has been demonstrated time and time again that breeches do happen…so buyer/user beware. Maybe they will offer an insurance covergae policy in the future…ya know…should your privacy be breeched and your dick pictures end up on CNN. What would they call it? and what would the premiums be? “The Johnson Package”
    Is it just me or should you maybe reconsider when you are sending pictures of your genitals out on the web? Kinda like twerking….think about it…reconsider. Disaster avoided.

    • The Clip, so right. Back in the pre-internet days, a couple I knew had a home burglary. What were they most distressed about? The thief boosted their drawerful of “private photos.” Their fear was extortion. Things are different now. Anything you post online you should be okay with seeing on a highway billboard.

  • Of course it is the hackers fault. just like it was my fault for snooping and discovering his personal ads. like he said, “Everything was going along just fine until you snooped. That’s IT you will never use my computer again!” funny thing is he had used mine and forgot to sign off. ooops still my fault

  • >twerking….think about it…<

    Well, if I must… I think of a special little hell for hackers and twerkers. Twerkers eternally flinging their butts around, trying desparately to distract the hackers, who are being endlessly frustrated by the twerkers, but even more by the 'Access Denied' that keeps coming up on their computer screens….yeah.

  • My Ex photocopied my journal and passed that around. Can I sue him for breach of privacy? I don’t want all his friends knowing what day my baby learned to crawl. He and his cronies thought that copying my emails, face book and journal was a way to unravel the mystery of me. Dipshits. It is like trying to get to know a person via autopsy or nude pix. Sick, shallow & way off target.

    • I copied my ex’s journal and gave it to my attorney. Didn’t keep a copy for myself. It showed that he’d cheated before and had threatened suicide when caught. No further entries after I met him. But I did share the entries with his former ex. He had told me she was the cheater, but no. She’d made curtains for his apartment and stayed the weekend. He invited someone else to “come see his new curtains” as soon as she left. Not cool.

  • I don’t see what the issue is here. Aren’t the ‘personal details’ public on that site anyway, to find matches? (Won’t touch that site with a 50 foot clown pole to verify). I applaud this guy for doing what he did.
    And why is it necessary to take nudes anyway? Something like that should be reserved for eyes only behind closed doors with the person you are with.
    The reporter trying to ‘shame’ him – she lost all credibility the moment she opened her mouth, with her “like, like” bullshit. This hacker shouldn’t have even tried to justify his actions, besides a ‘People are liars and cheats, and I’m exposing that. If you don’t like it – tough shit – and it shows me, in spades, your opinion regarding these matters. Cheating is not a fucking laugh – and this instills consequences for these people’s shit behaviour.’ As for the ones whinging about their lives being turned upside down, and not being able to get a job – its called not posting things online that you wouldn’t want a prospective employer to see. Its common sense – which it seems almost everyone lacks these days.

    • I think it’s like real name, addresses, email, ip address at the very least. Maybe credit card info too.

      You see the problem yet?

      • As far as I saw, it wasn’t credit card info. Still no sympathy.
        Cut out the passive-aggressive.

  • I HATE Adult Friend Finder. My ex was on there all the time. I’m glad they got hacked. I hope they pay through the nose for this!

    • Don’t forget the A.M. and discreetaffairs.com. When I started digging, besides him having an active match.com account the whole time, looking for dates (while declaring his undying love for me daily of course!)he was also a member of this discreetaffairs.com site, have an affair site for married or attached people. Then one of my male colleagues who abruptly divorced his wife told me later, he found out his wife on that site looking for some on the side and has been for a while. We shared their user names, thinking maybe my ex and his ex hooked up on that site lol. The world is a small small place 😉

  • I tell you what pisses me off about sites like Craiglist Personals and a lot of the other’s is that this low rent shit is out there for anyone to see. I have an eleven year old daughter, and she and her friends could see this pornographic mess either intentionally or by accident. There is just way too much easily accessed porn floating around today. Someone on here mentioned a site not long ago, forget the name, and it was like xrated videos with NO restrictions to view it. it seems like the name was something cutesy that would appeal to kids, not a porn site. And those craigslist ads are just sick, sick, sick. I feel like I needed to be sanitized the one time I looked at them.

  • CL, that was awesome. I am starting my day with laughter. Now, if only the hackers would get to work on Ashley Madison!

  • chumper lady:

    You used to be a reporter. So, get your facts straight before you publish. A good reporter checks thrice and posts once.

    • Hi proxy server troll!

      I ran a correction, something completely inline with proper journalism.

      And I’m sure cheaters never use Adult Friend Finder. Yeah, to call it a “married cheater site” is so far from the “facts.” Good to know you’re out there defending the standards of decency, Troll. Thanks.

    • naddachump, why don’t you check your spelling “thrice” and post once, then go fuck yourself…

  • and thank goodness I killed the card he had attached to my name the day after d-day…..

  • So is the AFF list gone forever now? Last I heard was the hacker was charging $16k for a non-exclusive copy of the list.

  • Hi all – I’m the tech blogger that initially found that trove of hacked data at the Hell forum – I still have not written the rest of the story though. Hopefully – that will be written sometime this year.

  • >