Leave a Cheater, Gain a Cat?

catinboxSo, Chump Lady poll today — how many of you replaced your cheater with a pet? Did you leave a cheater, gain a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig? A marmot? Schnauzer?

The single cat lady is the butt of jokes, but think about it — whatever the faults of a kitten, he won’t spend the 401K on Thai hookers. Cat ladies may be on to something…

Growing old alone in a bunker full of cats is probably a better life than five minutes with a remorseless cheater. I know if I had to compare the toilet habits of a cat with my ex-cheater, I’d take the cat. Heck, I’d take a gold fish. Or befriend some dryer lint and call it “Fred.”

So, today tell me about your pets and how they compare favorably with cheaters.

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kar marie
kar marie
8 years ago

I kept the bastards dog and acquired two more that he pays for. Way better people than him!

startofsomethingood
startofsomethingood
8 years ago

I have a beautiful palomino quarter horse. He let’s me cry on his neck all the time. I managed to hide him while I’m finalizing the divorce. And I have to say, when I ride him, its the best thing I’ve ever had between my legs!

Jode70
Jode70
8 years ago

Totally agree there. Two weeks after the idiot left, I bought my daughter a horse (because she was never allowed to have one) and then got one for myself. It is my true therapy. Love love love going riding. I forget about everything else. I also got two ferrets a month later. Already had a cat and dog. They are my family.

Chump Change
Chump Change
8 years ago

My new Schnoodle puppy was old enough to bring home a week after d-day. I was gone overnight to pick him up, and my stbxh told me “I need to take the time to be home by myself while you are away to really think about everything”. Yeah, right… Instead he met Schmoopie with a group of her friends at a neighboring Winery. The Winery is a big client of mine, and I’m close to the staff. We used to ride our quarter horses there all the time to go wine tasting and would pack a picnic in the hand tooled saddlebags I made for him. Apparently stbxh rode over there alone a few times leading my horse, and would give visiting ladies horseback rides. That’s how he met Schmoopie. She thinks she got the Marlborough Man. Well, I now have his horse, am living on the Ranch, (let’s hope I’m able to keep it after the settlement) and he’s persona non grata at the Winery. Now he has the nerve to want to know who’s riding his horse! Hmmmmm, who’s riding my husband???

TwinsDad
TwinsDad
8 years ago

Thanks! I needed that laugh!

IHaveHate
IHaveHate
8 years ago
Reply to  TwinsDad

Laughing and loving this line…….”Or befriend some dryer lint and call it “Fred.”
GREAT!!

bogie
bogie
8 years ago
Reply to  IHaveHate

I laughed at and loved that line too!

Lorna
Lorna
8 years ago

I whole-heartedly agree! My paint mare has been my salvation since D-Day. When we hit the trails I start to relax and enjoy being with a living, breathing being that does more for me with a mere nicker than shithead did the whole 15 years we were together. Also having a horse has been a life-long dream but having my cake-eating STBX has been a nightmare!

onthehill
onthehill
8 years ago
Reply to  Lorna

I don’t have horses anymore – but I still work with them. We have an array of retired racehorses, and active show horses. While sometimes the physical work I do leaves me flat exhausted, it has always been a salvation for me.

namedforvera
namedforvera
8 years ago

Like Kar Marie, I kept the dog…she’s my bulwark (as a Newfy, well suited for the job!) and my best pal. Taking care of her gets me out of doldrums when I need that.

Crapweasel kept our fantastic cat…for a few months. But he couldn’t even manage that. Thankfully I have a cat-obsessed relative who was happy to add the little guy to her crew.

But–seriously– who in the hell can’t take care of a cat? (especially a smart, social one.) What an idiot.

ANewWoman
ANewWoman
8 years ago

I kept the dog. When we told the kids we were separating, we even made a joke about fighting for custody because he so obviously hated her. Can I add on to your question, Chump Lady? Did your cheater leave your family pet behind? (I have a theory.)

bogieb
bogieb
8 years ago
Reply to  ANewWoman

I got all the pets (dog, 2 cats and a bird) since he said he didn’t want animals anymore. Never mind that OW had a dog and they took it on their love trysts. Oh, wait, she was going to get rid of it. But wait, she and the dog are living with him.

Have since lost the dog (old age) but Birdie and the two cats seem to be going strong even though they are at advanced ages. The cats snuggle up to me and purr me to sleep every night – much more faithful and loving than Ex.

Resa
Resa
8 years ago
Reply to  ANewWoman

He left me, 3 kids, 2 dogs and 3 cats. He didn’t even care when the pets got old and/or sick and had to be put down within a short time after he left. Grief on top of grief on top of grief.

Eilonwy
Eilonwy
8 years ago
Reply to  ANewWoman

My EX took the dog. And failed to care for it adequately. It died. I found out when I discovered a child curled in a ball crying on the floor. My child was sobbing too hard to speak but was holding the phone. On the phone, I found a phone message from their dad cheerfully discussing this-and-that, and then tacked on to the end, and “Oh, by the way, Skipper, came to me in a dream last night and let me know that he was happy. He ran away a few days ago, but I didn’t tell you because I was waiting for a sign from him.”

I think the UBT would translate the phone message as follows: “The dog ran away because I sure as hell cannot be bothered to keep him in the house or on a leash. I didn’t want to admit he was gone, but I’ve discovered he was run over by a car, so now I’m going to try and spackle that as some sort of spiritual/mystical experience. I wanted you kids to know before you came to my house this weekend because you are going to be upset, and I’d rather your mother deal with that–if possible I’d like her to take the blame as well. If I actually told you in person, you might get mad at me, so I’ve left you a phone message and done my best to make it sound like no big deal.”

Lyn
Lyn
8 years ago
Reply to  Eilonwy

Wow Eilonwy, I think your reading of your ex’s bizarre phone message is spot on. Living in his fantasy land is so much easier than dealing with truth.

Eilonwy
Eilonwy
8 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

Thanks for all your kind responses. Eventually, I want to get another dog, but there are too many days now when we are all out of the house for 10 hour stretches, and I think most dogs need more companionship than we could provide. I do think I will follow the advice here though and adopt an older dog! For the time being, we “borrow” a family member’s dog whenever he has to travel. It is a good deal all around — the dog gets heaps of attention when she visits, no boarding fees, and having the dog for a week now and then is a treat for my kids.

Let go
Let go
8 years ago
Reply to  Eilonwy

If you really want a dog but are gone a lot then get two. Dogs are pack animals so they get lonesome by themselves. Two will keep each other company.

UnsinkableMollyX
UnsinkableMollyX
8 years ago
Reply to  Eilonwy

My EN#1 actually claimed my beloved dog in the divorce decree— I cried for that dog and got stuck with the other one that I never liked; he took that one too, but he “ran off” soon after I moved out. My beloved Golden Retriever died a few years later- Oh, how I cried!!! Bastard kept her outside and neglected…funny thing is she bared her teeth at my STBXH#2 when she was around him– never liked him!!!

I have been left with the cat that STBXH#2 rescued from some delinquent neighbors when he was about 4 weeks old. We’ve had him almost as long as we were together…damn flea-ridden cat!!! He “can’t” take it because his new slut-shack doesn’t allow pets- funny thing is, we’ve lived in several places that didn’t allow pets- didn’t stop him from bringing fur ball into those homes!!!

Sigh… good thing the cat just stays hidden most days, doesn’t bother any of us much, but still…

kb
kb
8 years ago
Reply to  Eilonwy

What a jackass!

And I am so sorry for your child! Even if the dog had escaped from the house, spotted a squirrel, and gotten hit by the car, your child deserved the truth delivered in person, and hugs. The carelessness and the lie are yet more evidence that he sucks.

LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  Eilonwy

What a horror story. What a stupid, careless excuse of human being. So sorry for the dog’s passing and for you child’s grief.

violet
violet
8 years ago
Reply to  Eilonwy

What a complete asshole! Wish there was a way to keep people like him from having animals. Always had dogs. My old guy is 14 and very frail, but still loves his walks. My son brought a rescue home from school and I have really grown attached to him. Love me, love my dog (and kids).

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
8 years ago
Reply to  violet

I wish there was a way to keep people like him from having children to fuck with their heads when a beloved pet dies due to neglect.

Elle
Elle
8 years ago
Reply to  ANewWoman

We had two Labradors when POS left me and my son for The Slunt. He kept emailing and saying how he missed them and I said he could take them for a walk whenever he wanted as long as he arranged it first. He didn’t bother with them for eight months, until the black dog was at deaths door. Then he was over to see her, all tearful, kept saying how much his dogs meant to him. She was PTS in March. A couple of weeks later, he came over to see the yellow dog, and yes, you guessed it, hasn’t bothered since.
See what’s your theory ANW?

Jam lady
Jam lady
8 years ago
Reply to  Elle

“Slunt” … I LOVE it!!! Best laugh I’ve ever had at 6:00 in the morning!!

Blown Away
Blown Away
8 years ago
Reply to  Elle

Elle..you win the prize today in the Name Calling Category….
SLUNT…
I love it!!

With brave wings
With brave wings
8 years ago
Reply to  Blown Away

Slunt and slore are great adjectives.

Blown Away
Blown Away
8 years ago

I have not heard of Slore either….Blahahahah!!! I love you Chump Nation!! You have carried me in your arms this past year!!

Elle
Elle
8 years ago
Reply to  Elle

Sorry, meant SO* what’s your theory ANW!!

Sad in Seattle
Sad in Seattle
8 years ago

Love this topic, Chump Lady! My two cats – who have been with me through this entire ordeal – are the most loyal and loving furry family members, especially for someone who lives far from any kin of the human sort. I don’t care if I get the crazy cat lady moniker.

Unlike the cheater, my relationship with my kitties is balanced. They give me the same love and affection I give them. They know they can sleep with their soft underbellies exposed and that they have nothing to fear from me, that I would never do anything to hurt them because I love them.

After an exhausting day of my cats hiding in the cupboards or the couch to avoid the realtors and their clients (selling the house now – splitting any profits with the narc), I bring them a bowl of cat food and some comforting cuddles – comforting for us both! I get just as much out as I put it.

My oldest cat never liked the cheater, even though we adopted him together from the shelter. He’d meow loudly whenever I’d fight with the cheater, would hiss at him whenever he got too close. When I’d play the marriage police and go through his phone, my kitty would stand at my feet and meow at me impatiently, as if to say “Really? What don’t you know yet about this asshole?” They’re wiser than we know.

catdance62
catdance62
8 years ago

i kept the two dogs. I love them, but honestly if I didnt have them I wouldn’t have any pets. I travel a fair amount so always getting a sitter is $$ and a pain. Their presence is indicative of my ex’s attitude: he’s the one that brought them home, but after a couple years got sick of them and never wanted to be responsible for taking them to the vet, feeding them, or caring for them in any way. I am glad we never had children!

Jen
Jen
8 years ago

I wouldn’t be here to read this if my two dogs weren’t here during this ordeal. They are with the doubt what got me through the past year of learning that my husband enjoyed prostitutes for a good portion of our marriage.

Even though we adopted them together 11 years ago, he did leave them behind with not much of a fight. I often wonder how he could’ve done that, I couldn’t have lived if I had to be separated from these animals. I am curious to hear your theory, ANewWoman.

NoWire
NoWire
8 years ago

I have his cat and his dog.

Kelli
Kelli
8 years ago

I left a cheater and gained a shoe collection. Does that count?

TwinsDad
TwinsDad
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelli

Hmmm. Are any of them snakeskin? Snakes can be pets!

Kelli
Kelli
8 years ago
Reply to  TwinsDad

Not exactly… My immune system is so awesome that it attacks things like puppies, kittens, and ambient air, so it’s all faux all the time for me.

But I do have faux snakeskin. And zebra, leopard, tiger, and even Dalmatian from my Cruella Deville costume.

I’m exploring the tipping point between shoe “enthusiast” and “addict.”

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago
Reply to  TwinsDad

I had a red tail boa named Blue for five years, he was a very cool snake. Had to find him a home when he hit six or so feet long cos he started going after the cat. Snakes do make good pets if you don’t have small edible pets around 🙂

Vivianne
Vivianne
8 years ago

He left the cats that he “adored” behind. If you can walk out on wife and kids, animals are no biggie. 6 months after he left I went to the SPCA looking for a third cat , but surprise! walked out with a dog that all my kids adore, even the dog phobic one. Security and unconditional love for the price of a few puddles on the floor. Let me put in a plug for adopting older dogs, and giving it time. We dealt with a month of destructive separation anxiety as his previous elderly owner was likely around all the time, and then suddenly he settled. The best dog ever. My neighbors all come out of their homes to pet him;that’s how friendly and appealing he is.

foolmet2wice
foolmet2wice
8 years ago
Reply to  Vivianne

I agree with adopting older dogs, that’s what I will do. I’ve had numerous puppies to raise and it’s a lot of work like getting up several times a night to take them outside to avoid accidents in the house. Been there, done that. Adult dogs are the way to go for me.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  foolmet2wice

I agree, foolmet2wice, about the wisdom of adopting adult dogs. I kept the two family dogs in the divorce, then eventually adopted a rescue puppy (German Shepherd/terrier mix) and a 10-year old blind, deaf Shih Tzu. I adore the puppy, but she is driving me crazy with her Hurricane Katrina-style destruction of everything that is not bolted down. She has also hidden several pairs of my reading glasses.

kb
kb
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

I adopted an older dog from the shelter, and a youngish-dog (3 years old) from the breeder after the dog had been returned for being unsuitable for the type of herding she’d been bought for. Both dogs are herding breeds and need jobs, and even though the older dog doesn’t jump on 4-foot high walls anymore, he wants to be worked.

Tempest, you probably have zero time, but that German Shepherd mix will be drivey (dog trainer speak for lots of energy that needs positive direction or it’ll become destructive). Working dogs present special challenges for owners. Getting a good trainer–more high-powered than pet-store training–will make your life easier.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  kb

Thanks, Kb–you’re right; puppy is HIGH energy and will need training. I grew up with German Shepherd mixes, and love their intelligence and feisty personality and loyalty. Summer is coming up (slow time for my job) so I will have more time to train the dog and may start running with it; I’ll get the high-powered trainer if it becomes necessary (or take tips from Irish, who has trained dogs). Puppy lets me know when she needs more attention by nipping me on the leg as I stand typing at my computer.

You’ll be amused to hear that the 45-pound puppy knows she is lower in rank than the 15-pound Chihuahua (as the Chihuahua is not timid about putting puppy in her place with an intimidating stance and growl).

KarenE
KarenE
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

When I was a kid, our huge collie, the neighbours’ collie-german shepherd cross and the other neighbours’ german shepherd were all TERRIFIED of our very small male Siamese cat. They knew EXACTLY who was boss! It’s all about the attitude.

foolmet2wice
foolmet2wice
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Yikes! I forgot about the chewing stage. Thanks for the reminder! Years ago we planted bushes around the foundation just before the puppies came. One bush made it out alive. We also had to put chicken wire around the trees to keep the bark from being stripped!

LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Same with adult cats. And you usually know if an adult rescue cat is OK with other cats, other pets, and kids, so fewer surprises and problems.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  LovedAJackass

And the benefits of older women (and men) go without saying ; ).

Irene
Irene
8 years ago

startofsomethingood, love that! I got a puppy, Vinny, little brown daschund puppy. Sleeps in my bed, follows me everywhere I go, is happy to see me even after he’s been left alone for several hours. Gives love freely, thinks I’m special. Even if he misbehaves, I can easily forgive him. He will never cheat or lie or break my heart. 🙂

saralou1972
saralou1972
8 years ago

i had my cat years before he came along, she hated him and would run and hide whenever he was around, he would force me to leave her out in the winter (Uk) and if i let her in, he would grap her and throw her out the door again, saying she has a fur coat on she will be ok, she now sleeps in my bed and walks round the house like a queen lol I also keep my dog, the dog was never his as he never did anything for him or pay for anything, he now sleeps next to me and his a black lab. at xmas i nearly lost the dog and it broke my heart but made me release i can live with ex but not my dog, his ok now thank god.

LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  saralou1972

saralou, you have developed a good “picker” test. If a guy isn’t KIND to your pets, he’s a total loser. Glad the cat won the battle!

Roberta
Roberta
8 years ago
Reply to  LovedAJackass

I agree with LAJ also Saralou, animals can read people very well. If the dog growls or runs from them, then beware. Chances are that person is another shiny turd!

Schmetterling
Schmetterling
8 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

My STBXH agreed getting a family dog and dropped the ball on us very fast after realizing they need care and attention. The dog became a nuisance very fast to him and we had fights because I was upset about the neglect he gave him. He would refuse to walk him, pet him or pay any attention to the dog and had the guts to complain about me walking him too much. The dog received the same neglect from the family got. I do agree animals read people very well. The sweet Golden would tuck his tail in and end up hiding under the table when my STBXhusband would pull into the driveway and come home spewing his negative energy around. How he treated the dog (or other animals) showed so much about his character and reflected to me what a poisonous person he is to be around. Everyone had to walk on eggshells around him.

Schmetterling
Schmetterling
8 years ago
Reply to  Schmetterling

*same neglect from him the family would get

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  saralou1972

Your cat identified the loser first, eh? Smart cat.

informal
informal
8 years ago

He was out of town when we left and he had his dog with him. We knew he cared for her more than us. If he left her when he went out of town, we dreaded it simply because if anything happened to her we knew there would hell to pay. Actually if they noticed the dog alone, they would know their dad was out of town. He could have been away a week with the dog and they would not notice he was gone.
We took our old beauty with us and loved her to the end. She died in April at the age of 14. We are planning on adopting a new one in the fall after summer activities cool off and we are settled in a routine.
We have kicked around the pig idea. Has anyone had experience with those? We have plenty of outside space. We are also considering adding guineas into the mix. Everyone wants a different breed. I am an australian shepherd fan, one wants lab mix, and the other wants a husky mix. We have a rescue farm nearby with plenty to choose from.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  informal

My X-daughter-in-law had pigs. They were pot-bellies and ended up to be like 80 lbs. My son built a large kennel for them and they always managed to get out. They are not easy to train. If they are hungry and you are trying to make breakfast – they will not leave you alone. I highly recommend NOT getting a pig as a pet!

foolmet2wice
foolmet2wice
8 years ago

When my stbx moved in with OW 3000 miles away, he left me to wrap up (and pay for) everything he left behind including his business and 5 80-100 pound dogs. I’m also paying for the separation agreement, quit claim deed and divorce. I always paid for most things for the last 15 years so it’s not a surprise. He thought he could live responsibility free with her, I guess, for ever. He used his 401K to buy his current house (we are keeping our own 401Ks) I had him come and get the dogs a couple of weeks ago. It was the hardest thing I had to do. His Shmoopie is not a dog person and when she moves into his 975 square foot house it’ll be with him and 5 big dogs.

I know within a year I will have to sell this house and buy a smaller one next year. They had 4 acres to run around in. My house is now empty of everything but stuff we bought over our 36 years together. It’s very quiet and the first time in 25 years I don’t have dogs running around. My next house will have a much smaller fenced in back yard and I will get another dog (probably two because I feel dogs need another of their species to hang with, unlike cats) when I am settled. So, I guess, he did leave the dogs initially but now has them. Others have asked if I could have kept one of them. They were litter mates, were born in my house, and I felt it would be less traumatic for them to stay together.

ForgeOn!
ForgeOn!
8 years ago
Reply to  foolmet2wice

Good for you, FoolMe, for putting the interests of the pups first! That is what loving, compassionate humans do! (aka Chumps!)

Yes, it would have been so traumatic for those litter mates to be separated.

Forge on, all…….and keep praying (or whatever is right for you) for all the ones dealing with the devastation in Tracy’s ‘neck of the woods’……..So glad you & yours are safe, CL…..

foolmet2wice
foolmet2wice
8 years ago
Reply to  foolmet2wice

One more thing. He had planned with OW to leave for at least 3 years. But, apparently, never considered what he would do with the dogs except assume I would take care of them, like I did everything else. This 62 year old man would cry to his 83 year old mother that he missed the dogs terribly. Not enough to plan to take them with him. He told her that he felt I would keep them for a year or so, not that he ever discussed that with me or gave me his timeline. I guess he couldn’t rely on OW to support him and 5 dogs when he moved in with her.

nicolette14
nicolette14
8 years ago

Agreed Tracy! I already had a cat when I met the asswipe, and when I eventually dumped him, he tried to take MY cat with him and I told him to go fuck himself! His own mother mentioned more than once that he hated cats and was surprised he was nice to my cat, of course like with everything else he denied that too, but I still wonder why he wanted MY cat…I take the company of my good natured cat to any man! Her love is unconditional, she doesn’t mingle with other cats behind my back and she doesn’t steal from me lol!! 😀

scotty
scotty
8 years ago

I’m noticing a trend here…not a big shock either. I too kept the dogs. They were actually HER 2 dogs that she had when we got together, and I had one. She couldn’t be bothered, they cramped her “lifestyle”. (It’s hard to take care of dogs when you don’t know where you’re going to wake up the next day)
Another example of how these fucktards don’t make normal emotional attachments to anyone or anything.

She did take her 2 cats, but I think that was more because my dog thought cats were delicious and it was a lot of effort to keep the peace in the house. I honestly couldn’t have handled it given the state I was in at the time.

Unfortunately I’ve lost 2 of them to cancer and old age in the last 2 years, but I don’t know what I would’ve done without my girls. They weren’t much for advice, but they were great listeners 🙂

LittleLady
LittleLady
8 years ago
Reply to  scotty

“They weren’t much for advice, but they were great listeners” My beautiful red heeler would sit at my feet and stare at my Ex in a very protective posture whenever Ex would antagonize me. She knew who would sit up with her when she was sick. She is now the dog of my dreams. Such fond memories. I hope you have pictures Scotty.

Nord
Nord
8 years ago

How I kind of want a cat.

Sad in Seattle
Sad in Seattle
8 years ago

Cats are amazing, Nord. I work at an animal shelter and can’t say enough about the therapeutic benefits of sharing your life with a furry family member.

DramaFreeMe
DramaFreeMe
8 years ago

Last time STBX cheated, I brought in another cat. We already had 3 at that point, and a beautiful English Setter. I had been fostering cats from the local shelter and this was a feral cat that had a litter of kittens. She was so hissy and wouldn’t let me near her. The goal was just to get the kittens to the point that they were adoptable, then the shelter was going to introduce her into a feral colony. I couldn’t do that to her, of course. 😉 I was afraid that they were going to put her to sleep. I kept her. After a month of working with her, she finally came up to me one day and head-butted me. i almost burst into tears. She had never let me touch her before that. She has blossomed into this beautiful what looks like a Maine Coon mix. Gorgeous, loving cat. And just what I needed at that point when STBX was being a complete asshole. We ended up with one more cat, from a relative who could not keep it, so now the grand total is 5 cats. No more, please!

Last summer when I kicked STBX out, my sister kept telling me “you need a little lap dog”. The kids really wanted a small dog as well. We ended up with this little chiweenie who has become the center of our world lol, and a total little buddy to our older dog. Oh my gosh this dog is a hoot!! And he is completely attached to me and my older son.

These animals provide such an unbelievable source of calm and serenity. Our house seems like a zoo sometimes but I wouldn’t trade any of them. They ask for nothing but the basics, but provide so much more.

Now…my oldest son has said “mom, no more animals”…and I have agreed. But my two chickens died over the winter and I really miss my chickens! The kid may come home to a coop full some time this summer. 😉

nicolette14
nicolette14
8 years ago
Reply to  DramaFreeMe

I found my cat, she was homeless, when I leaned to pick her up, I was horrified, she was nothing but skin and bones and on her way out if you know what I mean. I was going to take her to a non-kill shelter like I have done many times in the past, my other cat passed away, I was heart broken for sometime and I didn’t want to get attached to another one and I didn’t think I was ready. But those beautiful eyes looking at me I just melted with her.. I took her to a vet instead, got her taken care of, shots, got her fixed then I took her home. From the shape she was in when I found her that I couldn’t really tell what breed she was, what do you know, she is a mainecoon and she is one of the sweetest, most good natured cat I ever had besides my other one. She is a blessing 🙂

LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  nicolette14

One of my rescue cats is a Maine Coon. Such a sweet, silly cat.

KarenE
KarenE
8 years ago
Reply to  LovedAJackass

I’d always had Siamese, loved their personalities, but when I went to get a rescue cat in my last 30s, it was a Maine Coon that won my heart. Couldn’t be more opposite from a Siamese, in looks and personality! I’m from out West and had never met this kind of cat before. I used to joke that the Cat Union would throw her out if they knew how obedient she was. She actually never jumped on the counters or table even when I wasn’t home, and consistently came when called. When we had kids, Gabi was the PERFECT cat. Soft and cuddly and super super patient and sweet. What a gift she was in my life.

I think they choose us, they know what we need. Gabi died of very very old age about 6 months before DDay #2 (and my kicking the narc out). But a few months after her death, a colleague that I never worked with just happened to be on a committee with me, Her daughter just happened to be fostering a mom and kittens for the SPCA. The colleague just happened to show the kitten pictures when we both just happened to be early to a meeting …. My kids swear that Gabi sent us the kittens to take over her job of loving us and always being there for us.

DramaFreeMe
DramaFreeMe
8 years ago
Reply to  LovedAJackass

For such big cat, mine has the tiniest little meow.

nicolette14
nicolette14
8 years ago
Reply to  LovedAJackass

Yes they are. 🙂

Doop
Doop
8 years ago
Reply to  nicolette14

Isn’t it amazing how they find you at just the right time?

nicolette14
nicolette14
8 years ago
Reply to  Doop

Absolutely!! 🙂

hurt1
hurt1
8 years ago

This is so timely as I am going to pick up a cat this morning that I adopted yesterday at the SPCA. We had 3 cats & ex adored them but just like me he left them in the dust. Two cats turned 21 in January but unfortunately one passed in March. She was a lovely tortie. My local paper lists cats for adoption & there was a tortie & I had to have/save her.

At one point a few months after dday I told my therapist that I had nothing to live for but my cats & she said, well live for them. Well I’m still here.

ForgeOn!
ForgeOn!
8 years ago
Reply to  hurt1

Hurt1,

Yea for you & kitties!

Now, who saved who?! 😉

Thanks for sharing!

hurt1
hurt1
8 years ago
Reply to  ForgeOn!

Good question! Not that my other cats don’t show me attention but this new one is sooo lovable & content. Just what I need right now – new love & contentment.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago
Reply to  hurt1

That’s what kept me going in the worst days, reminding myself the cats needed me. Who else would know one has to go under the covers at bedtime and the other wants pets but you have to pretend not to see him until he flops down on you? Only me. I’m glad you have your cats, Jedi hugs!

hurt1
hurt1
8 years ago
Reply to  Datdamwuf

New kitty is home & safely stowed in the guest bath. Other cats have yet to discover her. It’s another happy cheater-free day.

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
8 years ago
Reply to  hurt1

Another happy cheater-free day- I LOOOVE that!
Aah, the simple pleasures that life can bring…

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  hurt1

Congratulaitons!

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
8 years ago

Mr. Pickles, the cat, became mine. I think I have shared this story here before. We were dividing up our stuff in the most bizarre of circumstances…her mother with us after eating Chinese takeout together…yes, awkward. I ask to makes sure I get the cat and my xW says I can have him. She tells me to take good care of him. I say that he has taken good care of me, which was very true.

Meet up with now xMIL later that evening. I was hoping she was going to stop her daughter from the whole divorce train. Very chumpy at this time. Now xMIL goes after me referring the cat exchange saying, “Do you need someone to take care of you?”

I respond, “That cat has been more faithful to me than your daughter!” That stopped her up short. Little did I know just HOW right I was as my now xW was doing another man probably around the same time of the encounter.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago

Awesome comeback to MIL!!

ByeByeCheater
ByeByeCheater
8 years ago

I was always the animal lover and he wasn’t – he tolerated the cat. She’s a very vocal kitty that doesn’t like to be held but will come to lay with you on her terms. During my dark days after I kicked him out, she was there for me, always tight up against me and purring loudly. She’s been my savior with her never ending love. She’s 15 and occasionally has trouble jumping up on the bed. When her time comes, it will break my heart.

LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  ByeByeCheater

Years ago I had a kitty in her late teens and early 20s who learned to use those pet stairs to get into the bed. She had slept beside me every night of her life and the pet stairs prolonged her ability to do that. MY XH (not the cheater) made them but you can get them in pet stores and online.

Tayra P
Tayra P
8 years ago

I didn’t get a new pet, but I kept the my precious mini schnauzer. XH had to have a schnauzer, grew up with one, I love all dogs so I didn’t have a preference of what kind so we got her. Schnauzer’s are very loyal to their family but tend to pick one person that they most loyal. The dog loves her mama and over time started to really dislike XH. She must of had a sixth sense about his cheating that I didn’t pick up on. Now she growls at him when he comes to the door to pick up the kids…Good dog!!!!

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
8 years ago
Reply to  Tayra P

I love all my animals so dearly and they show their appreciation so freely, whether they are a tiny parrot or a 16.3 hand horse.

It’s nice to be giving kibble to only those who truly deserve it, isn’t it?

taniarochelle
taniarochelle
8 years ago

I had three children–two girls and a boy–with my first husband. He’d always said that if he ever had another son, he’d want to name him Otis, after Otis Redding.

After I caught my h cheating with a 20-yr-old grad student (We were in our 30’s) and filed for divorce, I took his America Express card and bought the kids a puppy. Guess what we named him?

WhichWayDidSheGo
WhichWayDidSheGo
8 years ago
Reply to  taniarochelle

Apologies if this is a double post.

My first name is Otis. I just had a good laugh thinking of a scene from The Last Crusade: “You named him after the dog?” “I have a lot of fond memories of that dog.”

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago

Thanks for the laugh WWDSG

Lina
Lina
8 years ago

Before the discard he got me a bunny for my birthday and a guinea pig for Valentine’s Day. When he started acting distant the animals got the same treatment. He wouldn’t pick them up anymore. Claimed they got fur all over him. But he used to love holding our pets previously. I have a theory that OW didn’t like to see any pet fur. He did not even glance at the animals on his way out the door.

Anyway, I lost my little guinea pig to pneumonia shortly after he left. I ended up adopting a pair from the animal shelter and then another I bought at a pet shop who was growing up and they had him on sale. I was afraid he wouldn’t get a home. I still have the bunny. I would like another cat someday.

On the days I just wanted to stay in bed and pray to die these little guys got me up and busy cleaning their cages and caring for them. They’re always grateful and cheer me up. I love them.

uniballer1965
uniballer1965
8 years ago

Didn’t get a pet as much as I got the two cats and the dog she just had to have.

The dog died about a year after our divorce was final, on what would have been our 9th anniversary IIRC. I just bawled and bawled as it was too much, too soon.

That dog had been my constant companion through the marriage and divorce. I think I missed him more than my ex-wife.

One of the cats escaped when I was getting the mail, never to be seen again. The other, I had to give away as I sold the house and moved into a temporary apartment when my bride and I were looking for our new home. I don’t really miss the cat. He never cared for me, but did begin to suck up to me once he realized she was gone and if he was going to get fed, he better make sure I was still around 😉

TheClip
TheClip
8 years ago

She was his dog and she and never really bonded…. However guess who took care of her in his long absences, sickness and surgery? Idiot tried a few times to ‘ reclaim ‘ her by hopping my fence. Neighbor told me she ran from him. I knew she was over him when he one day dropped our daughter off early and she got up from the window , sighed and walked to her bed in the bedroom. She got tired of the pick me dance too! She got extra cookies that day.
The cat is another story….he is an asshole( think Stifler in American Pie) I often speak to him as if he is my ex. Its very cathartic…

Briana
Briana
8 years ago

My stbx wanted to keep the dog so he had “something”. He brought her to his parents in September for a month visit and she’s still there. He doesn’t have time to take care of her. Kids want their dog back…but I can’t have pets in this rental. We will see what happens when I move into our new permanent home next year. I miss her…she’s my first child. But really, he chose to take the dog away from his kids. Selfish much?

PA Princess
PA Princess
8 years ago

I sold my 15th wedding anniversary diamond and bought a motorcycle. I took classes, got a new license and I love hitting the highway. I also love looking up at the stars at night when I am at a stop sign. The wind is blowing all of his Passive Aggressive behaviors off of me and clearing way for love of life and freedom to feel like a normal person again. AMEN

Nat1
Nat1
8 years ago
Reply to  PA Princess

PA Princess you are my hero! I wanna be you when I grow up!

Doop
Doop
8 years ago
Reply to  PA Princess

I turned my engagement ring into a very nice pair of cowboy boots.

not Juliet
not Juliet
8 years ago
Reply to  Doop

I turned my rings into $115 at the pawnshop

Maree
Maree
8 years ago
Reply to  not Juliet

I had 2 beautiful rings which my daughter was going to have, naturally. She has cut me from her life so I gave a ring each to 2 lovely young women who treat me so well and are happy to see me and have a chat. I summed up these girls long before I gave them the rings. They were delighted and embarrassed all at the same time. At least I know the rings are appreciated, loved and worn. My daughter always assumed that everything I have will be hers in due course. Boy is she in for a rude shock.

Lania
Lania
8 years ago
Reply to  Maree

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree with your ungrateful brat of a daughter, right? Obvious to see shes taken after the lowlife sperm donor.
I feel for you Maree, I really do. Shes only a couple years older than I am, and I’d NEVER treat my mum like that. (My mum was chumped too, but she was a warrior queen and took what she needed to gain a life). What a spoilt brat.

LilyBart
LilyBart
8 years ago
Reply to  PA Princess

PA Princess,

I came to hate motorcycles because my ex bought himself one after D-Day to deal with all of the stress I caused him by acting hurt. Blecch.

But picturing you on your bike and the freedom you must feel is turning me around. Maybe. Ok, just for you — but I think you are awesome, so rock on! 🙂

-LIlyBart

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  PA Princess

Good for you Princess! I too have my license, but haven’t ridden for awhile so will probably need lessons all over again :-). However – I didn’t get a diamond on my 15th wedding anniversary. Hmmm, pretty sure I didn’t get anything. I guess I can sell my wedding ring. That would probably get me a bicycle.

Doglover
Doglover
8 years ago

Cheater brought home a cute little dog I fell in love with. I found out years later it was OW dog. Cheater is gone still have dog. She’s a sweetie.

not Juliet
not Juliet
8 years ago
Reply to  Doglover

Lol, Dog Lover. I thought I was the only person who had another whore’s dog. Ms Wonderful was such a loser she didn’t even have an apartment, she lived with her brother, supposedly on the couch. She surrendered the dog, a black Labrador , to the pound. Cheater called one day and said he’d ” done something crazy ” and gotten a dog. I had that intuition that this had to do with the whore and I was right. Found an email where he sent her how the dog was doing, calling her the name whore gave her. I guess they had a romantic pound experience. Can’t compete with that After that, I enjoyed calling the dog by the original name or just Whore’s Dog. He did have a different dog when we met but it ran away.

Sausalito
Sausalito
8 years ago
Reply to  not Juliet

These dog stories are unbelievable! What is wrong with these people?? Oh, that’s right… At least the dogs got good homes.

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
8 years ago
Reply to  not Juliet

Here’s another whore’s dog story. During his tenure here, the XBF walked in and floated the idea of my ‘adopting’ a poodle–the details of the owner and circumstances were extremely vague. I already had plenty of dogs, 4 of whom live indoors. I suspected something was up because the ‘adopt a poodle’ idea was so random. I told him no thanks, I’ve got plenty of dogs and I don’t like poodles (sorry poodle people but it was the strongest excuse I could come up with).

I was right—–the whore dog was trying to pawn the whore’s dog off on me.

not Juliet
not Juliet
8 years ago
Reply to  Hesatthecurb

Lol, He’s at the Curb. It is almost uncanny that everytime the Cheater did something that I suspected involved the whore I always found out later it actually did. I really need to learn to trust my intuition.

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
8 years ago
Reply to  not Juliet

Yeah, he was good at attempted ‘recycling’ of all things whoreish.

One day he walked in with eleven rather tattered roses. Seeing their condition, I instantly sensed there was a history to them. Turns out his perrenial whore had thrown them on the floor when he presented them to her (with a huge attention grabbing flourish) at her place of business earlier in the day.

He apparently was trying to smooth something over with her. When that didn’t work, he scooped them up and brought them home to me.

His explanation as to why he brought me roses? “Oh, Baby, you know I love you. I just thought you would enjoy them”.

What.a.fuckstick

(BTW–I know this story because one of whore’s co workers became a friend of mine. Out at dinner with a group one night, she was recounting a story about a hapless office visitor who’d had roses thrown at him and how silly he looked scrambling to pick them up in front of the entire office. My telling the rest of the story was definitely good for a laugh.

Not Juliet
Not Juliet
8 years ago
Reply to  Hesatthecurb

What a fucktard, He’s at the Curb. I’m pretty sure the fucktard of mine was hanging around the whore’s work too, considering all the begging for lunch dates he did. We work in the same industry, I should have applied for a job there, lol. Her company was shut down for fraud, though, so it’s too late.

PAPrincess
PAPrincess
8 years ago

Oh, I named my bike, Freedom Won 🙂

Donna
Donna
8 years ago
Reply to  PAPrincess

Pa, like it!

zyx321
zyx321
8 years ago

I love my cats.
Ex did not grow up with pets (xMIL thoughts they were filthy, etc), plus ex was allergic. I finally convinced ex to get a cat when I rescued a kitten from a parking lot. She got bathed almost weekly (really helps with the dander) and ex adjusted to her dander, less allergic around her.
She LOVED Ex. She was a big cat and loved his bigger lap. She got ill when ex was working away from home (and turns to out having his final affair) and I had to deal with insulin shots, etc on top of false reconciliation. I had to her to sleep a week before the final decision to divorce. That was so tough, and it was quite the sign, as always, who was the adult in the relationship.

Kids could not wait for kitten season once we decided to get another (8 months later), so we went to the shelter and found a feral momma and her 8 month old offspring. We’ve had them for 18 months. Bit of a pain getting adult cats as they could not be trained for some things, but we love them. The momma’s still a bit skittish (will not be picked up), but every morning she sits in my lap and purrs when I am eating breakfast.
It was a big day when she curled up on the couch with my son.

Daughter is desperate for a dog to help with her depression, but I just cannot do it given my work travel schedule. Instead daughter is going to walk the therapy dogs at a nearby clinic.

Pets are an amazing source of comfort; everyone should have one at some point in their lives.

Chumpfor21
Chumpfor21
8 years ago

Ex declared on DDay that I was “mean” (read: tried to stop dog from jumping all over people. You know, like have rules and stuff) to the dog, Thunderpaws. I had to leave him behind because I had to stay with friends while awaiting and recovering from surgery. It almost broke my spirit.

Three months later, Schmoopie must have decided she didn’t like him so exhole thought it would be “best” for the dog to be with me, the person who was “mean” to him. When I got him back, he had lost weight and had an ear infection from fleas (fleas aren’t even indigenous to the area we lived) that was so bad, it took three months of antibiotics and veterinary care to resolve.

Thunderpaws is all mine now and he saved my life. He greets me every morning with a happy dance and loves our walks.
I am grateful to be his friend and….he doesn’t cheat or spend all my money.

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago

Because i will soon be living ‘alone,’ I knew I needed something for protection. However, because I work full-time – I didn’t think it was fair to a dog to be left alone all day. I got a Ruger LS9 instead.

Donna
Donna
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

LadyStrange, you rock. I considered this when I first lived alone, given his whore has had charges for breaking/entering, assault, and drug use.

Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago

I got two cats. Then my son brought home a stray cat, a female. She got pregnant( cat rape culture and patriarchy, undoubtedly) and we had 4 kittens. So, we had 7 cats in the condo, where they only allow 2.
Found good homes for the mom and the kittens.

SheChump
SheChump
7 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

I’m so sorry, Arnold. I’ll bet if we did a poll here than at least 51% have either been raped or molested at a certain age.
Not to hi-jack this thread – it’s probably for another one…but I don’t believe you were making jokes.
Just a comparison. I find cats the same way, animalistic, of course – but the females want it just as bad.
It’s called spay.neutering when they are 2 mos old…

I was molested by a very trusted mentor BIL since my tits started showing – Age 12?
Then, raped by a boss at 17 and got preggo.
It changed my entire life’s direction.

I finally made it around the circle and came back to myself and here I am, alive and happy and at Meh.
And happily alone with my fur family.
I don’t really trust any man at all.

And, it’s not just men who do this, I’m sure there’s another percentage for pedophile women.
They have no idea what they do to people’s heads and lives.

SPIT

SheChump
SheChump
7 years ago
Reply to  SheChump

The BIL that molested me for 5 yrs who I just confronted after 40 yrs, along with his wife, my sister as I wanted to get it out on the table.
I HATE secrets! And my sister has had her head in the sand about his ‘habits’ towards other young girls (driving the bus to parade band shows with 14 yr olds – uh huh) and I wanted to finally put it on the table and STOP the asshole.

Well, he put it out on the table that he was raped at 13 by a trusted neighbor and a good friend of his Dad’s.
He’d never told anybody about it but he opened up how that every time he had to drive by that guys house, he puked in his mouth.
Sure, I’ll bet he was tormented, just like me and his actions towards me (taking advantage), that I guess we kind of came to a ‘peace’.

Altho, neither my sister or he is talking to me right now.
(they’re busy)

Say lav vie but this horrible thing needs to be stopped in it’s tracks.

namedforvera
namedforvera
8 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

Oh, for crying out loud, Arnold. I guess you think rape is funny? Try it sometime, and get back to us.

Also ps. Spay and Neuter your pets.

Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago
Reply to  namedforvera

Actually, vera, as an 11 year old, I experienced it.

EnoughAlready
EnoughAlready
8 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

That’s terrible. I hope the person who hurt you was brought to justice and did time.

namedforvera
namedforvera
8 years ago
Reply to  EnoughAlready

I agree with Enough Already. Sorry for your pain, Arnold.

Arnold
Arnold
8 years ago
Reply to  namedforvera

Thank you. It was less painful than the cheating. Stranger deal. No betrayal. Guy did it to my best friend, Al, too. We never told and never talk about it.

AwakeningDreamer
AwakeningDreamer
7 years ago
Reply to  Arnold

Trigger warning: r*pe

Arnold it’s really horrible that you were raped and at such a young age too. I’m sorry that you went through that.

I do want to say though that I don’t think it’s a good idea to use rape as a punchline in any context. I think it can be quite triggering and harmful and even if you (proverbial sense of you) have processed it to the point of being comfortable to make jokes about it, others who have been raped may not have and it can be extremely upsetting to be exposed to something that is so destructive and cruel.

Again, I’m sorry that it happened to you and I am enraged that children have to bear crosses for paedophilia X monsters.

mgirontree
mgirontree
8 years ago

My Mother-in-law asked me, “Don’t you miss my son? Don’t you miss having him next to you at night?” I answered, “I have my dog. She is all I need.” I don’t think she was amused!!!!

Schmetterling
Schmetterling
8 years ago
Reply to  mgirontree

Like button 🙂

ChumpFromF
ChumpFromF
8 years ago

My cheater started cheating because of a dog. I had offered him an expensive australian shepherd puppy with a bonus I got at my then austere work (I was stupid enough to buy and did not know about shelters then). Because he had always wanted a dog since childhood, he had many books about them… Yet, he rejected the puppy ! He didn’t want to take care of it. (“this is YOUR dog” still resonates in my ears, his first truly hurtful comment, after a saturday morning dog camp). He started closing the door every evening, to talk to his future mistress over Skype = “language lessons”. Stressful job, hurtful relationship: I spiralled into burnout. When I emerged after 3 months, and returned to work, the dog, who had become a splendid animal that passers-by admired, suddenly died for no reason: the autopsy did not find anything. Genetic fault of purebreeds I suppose. It left a void.
After a few weeks, I adopted the most hopeless hound I could find in a shelter, he had been there 6 long years, skinny, terrified, with a history of beating (drunk hunters). And then another one, to keep him company. They are the most lovable animals I’ve ever had. They never demand anything and are always so thankful. They learnt confidence, and now look good, in addition to being totally silent when inside the house, and jumping/running all excited when outside in the forest. They never bark. Their display of joy when I come home is pure fun.
My cheater, in contrast, never once expressed gratitude for any of the >3000 meals that I served him, and never gave me the impression that I had any special worth to him.

KarenE
KarenE
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpFromF

My male cat loves his food, but he won’t eat his supper until I’ve picked him up and given him lots of love first. ‘Til then he keeps stropping around my legs and mewling. Unlike my cheater, he knows how to show that I have special worth to him!

Lizzy
Lizzy
8 years ago

My kids and I adopted a puppy from the shelter 5 months after d-day. XH accused me of spoiling the kids…. I told him that the puppy was for me and that I was looking forward to having a LOYAL companion.

not Juliet
not Juliet
8 years ago

I have a senile senior kitty that I got in 1996. She doesn’t seem to know where she is, but she seems happy. She sleeps a LOT. Enjoys her food a lot. Uses the litter box but manages to get pee under it constantly, lol.

My daughter’s best friend, 11 years old, their family cat just passed away last Saturday. He was about the same age. Her family is heart broken.

TheBetterJamie
TheBetterJamie
8 years ago

Well, I inherited the dog I bought for STBX as a Christmas gift in 2011, just after we found out we were expecting. He had always wanted a dog and I thought it would be a great addition to our family unit. He picked the fluffy white Maltese ShihTzu mix, to many peoples surprise, while I was hoping more for an Austrailian Shepherd.
Once we had him I did all the work, shocker, I know. I did the training and the feeding and the grooming and the dog and I bonded because of that. When STBX left he left his dog, too. He was looking for zero responsibility, after all and dogs are work. So I kept everything that took effort and he gained freedom from the constraints of suburban American life. I love this dog. Sure, he gets sassy and poops on my floor occasionally, he fancies himself a 3am grooming sesh on my bed and farts when he sleeps but I’d take him any day over the ex. His love is RECIPROCAL, it’s unconditional, he holds no grudges.

I also had(have) a deaf ferret and kept her, but STBX rarely paid a bit of attention to her anyway and I think he was kinda afraid of her. Lol. My first ferret when he and I were early in our relationship used to attack him, that should’ve been a clue. She would go after his feet & ankles relentlessly and bite him as hard as she could. She never did this with anyone else. So he gained a fear response when in the presence of ferrets, if they ran to him he danced his feet around like he was on hot coals, further I fixing them to take a bite. Hahaha!

I’ll take the dog & the deaf ferret 100 times over.

Tessie
Tessie
8 years ago
Reply to  TheBetterJamie

Yep, dog, cats, ferrets……me too. I started with one cat. Later I added a dog, a cocker spaniel who had been horribly abused and was just starting to heal enough to start trusting me. Then I started taking in strays and finding them home. I had six kitties and one pup when someone…(ex’s family, I think) burned my house down. They all died in the fire. I was at work at the time and came home to a burnt out shell, and every thing gone. All I had left were the clothes on my back.

Well, thanks to good insurance, I rebuilt right there and started taking in kitties, doggies, and ferrets. I’m going to have quite a welcoming committee when I cross the rainbow bridge.

Cheater ex wanted nothing to with any pets. He wanted all the attention. Creep.

LittleLady
LittleLady
8 years ago
Reply to  Tessie

Six kitties! And a pup! What a loss. You have been through so much. I would love to read your book sometime Tessie, you are amazing.

TheBetterJamie
TheBetterJamie
8 years ago
Reply to  TheBetterJamie

*further enticing them to take a bite

ChumpThese
ChumpThese
8 years ago

About a year before my wife began her affair and our marriage began falling apart, she called me from her car while in the driveway and I was in the house getting ready for work. She was scared of a stray dog that had wandered into our backyard. I went into the yard to find a chocolate lab/pit pull mix puppy of about six months old. She was big, but still a puppy. At the time we were renting a home and couldn’t have pets. We kept her outside as it was during the summer, and by some miracle our landlord came over, fell in love with her and let us keep her. When my wife left with our son, it was just me and that dog. She kept me sane and provided the true unconditional love dogs are known for. I ended up moving in with a relative after the divorce, and took her with me, and my relatives fell in love with her. I can honestly say that I look for qualities in women that I find in that dog. She loves me no matter what. She knows when I need my space and gives it to me, she’s loyal, she’s comforting. I’m sure if someone asked me what qualities I’m looking for in a woman, and I said “the same as my dog”, they’d laugh, but it’s true. The most beautiful thing is, she found me, she loved me during the worst time of my life. The lesson I’ve learned is sometimes God will send you exactly who and what you need when you need it.

TheBetterJamie
TheBetterJamie
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpThese

Great outlook! I love it!

Dutch-chump
Dutch-chump
8 years ago

Oh yes! We adopted a bengal cat, one who peed all over his former home, because of dominance problems with his brother.

He is the ultimate narcissist, picky with food, needs a lot of attention. But… he comes home when I call him, listens to me and keeps me warm at night.

The boys and I do our pick-me dance to get his favors, all the while knowing he doesn’t have a cheating bone in his body.

Only thing I keep wondering, if I was so controlling… why didn’t we get any pets before we lost our cheater? Boys and I love animals!

Blackbird
Blackbird
8 years ago

Haven’t read all the comments, yet, but for what it’s worth, I give you:

“My Dog, Compared to My Ex”

My Dog:
50 kilos worth of lazy, eating machine (that’s kilos, not pounds – Rottie-Ridgeback cross)
Epic toxic farts (I am afraid sometimes we will fall asleep and wake up dead from the gas!)
Snores so loudly he wakes me up.
Occasionally tries to hump our visitors, but in plain sight and in a totally honest, open kind of way.
Barks and growls loudly at our crazy neighbour.

My Ex:
90 kilos worth of costly, must have the latest gym membership and frighteningly expensive protein shakes, lazy-arse man.
Epic toxic farts (but always blamed on the dog)
Snores so loudly he wakes me up, then wants a BJ to go back to sleep (in spite of the two hour naps each afternoon)
Occasionally tries to hump our visitors, but only in our marital bed when I’m out at work providing for our family
Barks and growls loudly at our kids and me.

Where the dog has the advantage?
He is always happy to be fed and never complains that I should bring home more money.
He listens with great interest when I talk to him.
He loves my company, and the kids’ company, without conditions or complaint.
He is always happy to give me a cuddle, without trying to grab my arse, tits or wallet.
He is totally honest and all-in when he decides he loves someone.
He knows he’s got it good.

The funny thing is, after I kicked the Big Man out, I was totally fair about custody arrangements and agreed to fifty percent with both our son and daughter, as well as the dog. Darling Daughter scotched that within a few weeks, and announced she would be living full-time with me from then on. My beautiful, confused son stuck it out for another year, due to intensive guilt tripping from the Big Man, but a few months ago announced he would not be staying with his Dad any more, after his Dad kicked him out and followed up with a physical altercation…

Now the great big lummox of a dog is the only member of his family that is happy to see him any more…

SDchump
SDchump
8 years ago
Reply to  Blackbird

Blackbird – this made me laugh out loud!

Blackbird
Blackbird
8 years ago

…and I just have to add, in the hopes of a cheer from Chump Nation, that today my purchase of a new home was finalised!

I am very excited and looking forward to moving out of this house – this house is truly beautiful, architect designed, private and by the creek where we hear kookaburras every morning and see clouds of sulphur crested cockatoos sweep in every afternoon. Everything I ever longed for except the total mind-fuck that he moved us in here when he was in a long-term, committed relationship with someone else.

Out new home is a boring, orange brick rectangle in a new-build suburb – no trees, no character, nothing distinctive or interesting about it. Kids are disgusted at how ‘boring’ it is, but gods, I can’t wait to get into it! New home, new life!

And I am kind of amazed and proud of myself that I just bought a new home, all by myself!

Donna
Donna
8 years ago
Reply to  Blackbird

Congrats! Blackbird. Today you inspired me to keep plugging for a better life.

Miss Sunshine
Miss Sunshine
8 years ago
Reply to  Blackbird

Well done on the HOME (not house.)

You’ll come to love the shelter and peace it affords you, how it protects you, how you bought it on your own and made it yours, the good memories you’ll make.

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago
Reply to  Blackbird

Congrats Blackbird, child labor will allow you to plant plenty of stuff so the house won’t be disgusting to the kids, LoL

LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  Blackbird

Kudos, indeed, Blackbird! And once you move in and fill it up with life, the house will be anything but boring. I

SDchump
SDchump
8 years ago
Reply to  Blackbird

Hurray, Blackbird! It feels good to have your own place, doesn’t it? And you did it all on your own! Congrats!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Blackbird

Awesome, Blackbird! A fresh start for you and the kids.

nicolette14
nicolette14
8 years ago
Reply to  Blackbird

Congrats Blackbird!! I am very happy for you and look at it this way, since there are no trees etc., you can plant trees, flowers, bushes the way you want and watch them grow. In the end you make it the way you want it and it will be all yours. When I bought my house there was no plants, no character, nor distinctive or interesting, but I did all the landscaping, planted trees, bushes, flowers around my home, on my land (however my backyard looks at a huge forest) and its the best looking and distinctive home in the neighborhood now. Then later you will be happy with the results because its you who took a house and turned it into a home. 🙂

EnoughAlready
EnoughAlready
8 years ago
Reply to  nicolette14

Tried to reply to this already, but *somebody*–won’t say whom–was walking on the keyboard and fritzed what I’d written.

Suggest you take pictures of house: street view, back and side yards, and print multiple copies of each on non-glossy paper. Then sit down with the kids and a box of markers and go at it. Dream big. Koi pond? Roller-coaster ride in the back? Zip lines and trapeze and climbing wall? Then gradually shift to the do-able. What would you think of a couple of flowering bushes under this window? Garden? Fruit trees? Design some simple changes together, plant them, and then stand back and compare the finished product to the design. Take another picture in another year, and the one after that.

It’s an opportunity for them to see that they can make the changes in the world that they want to see, and to understand that life is a process and change can be slow and simple and messy, but they can make it happen.

Congratulations on your new house.

Happily never after
Happily never after
8 years ago
Reply to  EnoughAlready

Fabulous response

kar marie
kar marie
8 years ago
Reply to  nicolette14

Agree. Can’t wait to get out of this house and into my very own.

Roberta
Roberta
8 years ago

I acquired an incredible little Black and Tan dachshund who absolutely adores me. When the ex left we had two dogs that he supposedly loved! The oldest one missed him so very much that she aged before my eyes. She was older anyways, probably 15 years old, and he would baby her to death and she ate it up! She was always by his side and then he just up and left! I don’t know whose heart was more broken, hers or mine! I had to put her down and I cried like a baby. My ex eventually did find out but never mentioned her again! So much for love and loyalty!

kar marie
kar marie
8 years ago
Reply to  Roberta

His sickness has his business here still so my older dog his dog sees him all the time when he leaves to home to the whore I have to wait about an hour or so to let him out because or he will run to the gate and sit there waiting for daddy to come back. Broke my heart so I wait to let him out. Now the older dog his dog won’t even listen to him anymore and disobeys but they all listen to me. The poor sausage just doesn’t get it. I’m the mommy and well sausage is now nothing to them! Haha fucker!

hanecita
hanecita
8 years ago

I still own the cat that had bonded with Cheaterpants…

Boots the cat is now 18 and Cheaterpants passed away more than 2 years ago. Boots always began his day with a routine affectionate chin rub with Cheaterpants, leaping onto the bathroom counter for a mutual chin bump. One morning after the affair had begun unbeknownst to me, Boots looked at Cheaterpants and gave him a big old very unfriendly, Hisss, seemingly out of the blue. Boots knew before I did.

And yes, despite Boots old age, he is a far better, more loyal companion than Cheaterpants ever was.

Should have skipped marriage and got a cat.

spiritwoman
spiritwoman
8 years ago

My family always had a dog while growing up and my XH and I usually had 3 dogs at a time that we would adopt from the shelter. If one of our pet would die we would mourn a short while but excitedly go pickup another one. They were never meant as replacements for each one had their own special personality. However, we provided them a great life to freely roam about 4 acres in the country with all the love we could share.

When XH and I were separating he wanted to take our biggest dog we had gotten together as a puppy, she had a fiesty temperamen,t because he felt she and him were bonded more due to their rough housing play. I told him he couldn’t have her that I would keep them with me at home where they belong together.

There was no way I was going to lose any of my dogs that I loved and let him take my “family” away from me, we never had kids. Might seem weird to some but because I kept my dogs I had to keep going, keep working, continue my responsibility to them, and in this way I had something to live for after BD.

I’m quite sure that they can read my moods, and they knew when I was sad and they knew that XH was gone and things were changed and different but they probably didn’t understand. They knew XH had left but they had me, I wasn’t going to leave them.

I could never give to my dogs what they have given to me, unconditional love, happy welcome home everyday with wagging tails, smiles and laughs from their antics, physical connection and “cuddles”, companionship.

tossedaway
tossedaway
8 years ago

I kept cat and dog, my STBX never really liked them. The kids and I did all the caring for them anyway. The kids always wanted another dog but STBX always said no because he didn’t want to fix the fence in the backyard and didn’t want to mess with another dog. Of course he loves OW’s dog and can’t wait to adopt more with her! I guess “true love” makes everything better, even pets!

Donna
Donna
8 years ago
Reply to  tossedaway

It’s amazing what they can do for others. I wanted to get a dog for a couple of years and X said he didn’t want to be tied down and didn’t want the responsibility. After I threw him out I spent months cleaning up the dog fur from my house as she was bringing it to my house for his sleepovers when I was away. Next year I plan on adopting an older dog after buy a home. I think ill name him Faithful.

Char
Char
8 years ago

Had two cats that stayed with my kids and me after D-Day in 2010. One died of cancer in 2012, and we adopted a runt of a litter kitten not big enough to fill my palm. She now runs the house. Then, during the Winter Olympics, we adopted a gorgeous Staffordshire terrier from a rescue group in OH called Paws for Prayers – I’d highly recommend it to anyone looking for a great dog.

We gave him a Russian name (Boris) and have adored him ever since. The cats bully him, but he is so handsome and dear and a real cuddler – so it’s hard to miss sitting with someone on the couch when Boris is right there pretending he’s a lap dog.

And if I ever have reason to get sentimental or nostalgic for Shit-for-Brains and all his delights….no worries. Because Boris farts and snores just like he did! HA!

Ruth
Ruth
8 years ago

I got landed with his Rottweiler and he won’t pay for her care. She’s lovely and my four kids think she’s wonderful. At least the dog is loyal. I basically got rid of 17stones of useless fat when my old turd left. Life is sooooooo much better now 🙂