Well, this was a nice tidbit of news to wake up to — Ashley Madison had their database hacked. According to the Guardian newspaper:
Site’s hackers claim 37m personal records have been stolen from notorious dating site, with Cougar Life and Established Men also compromised.
Hackers have stolen and leaked personal information from online cheating site Ashley Madison, an international dating site with the tagline: “Life is short. Have an affair.”
The site, which encourages married users to cheat on their spouses and advertises 37 million members, had its data hacked by a group calling itself the Impact Team. At least two other dating sites, Cougar Life and Established Men, also owned by the same parent group, Avid Life Media, have had their data compromised.
The Impact Team claims to have complete access to the company’s database, including not only user records for every single member, but also the financial records of ALM and other proprietary information. For now, the group has released just 40MB of data, including credit card details and several ALM documents.
Apparently, it was an inside job.
Noel Biderman, you mean someone you trusted stole something of yours? Something you thought was precious and yours alone? No! Say it isn’t so!
The biggest revelation from the hackers so far is that those records Ashley Madison charges a fee to scrub? They don’t scrub them.
The hackers’ main point of contention is with the fact that Ashley Madison charges users a fee of £15 to carry out a “full delete” of their information if they decide to leave the site. Although users have the option of permanently hiding their profile free of charge, the company’s advertisements claim that the full delete service is the only way to completely remove their information from the servers.
But the hackers say that that claim is “a complete lie”.
Oh my goodness, imagine that. A business predicated on cheating, lies to its customers. Sweet irony thy name is SpankyHoneyCheeks57.
The hackers have already released 40MG of data and demand that the sites must be taken down, or they will release more data.
But the initial leak is just a taster, according to the Impact Team, which accompanied the data with a manifesto threatening release of further information if Ashley Madison and Established Men are not permanently closed.
SpankyHoneyCheeks57 is probably not worried, because SpankyHoneyCheeks57 isn’t his real name. Alas, SpankyHoneyCheeks57 your real name appears on your credit card. Exactly the sort of identifying information the hackers are exposing.
Now, cyber crime is nothing to laugh at. We all rely upon the honesty and transparency of our financial institutions. We should feel safe every time we give our credit card to a vendor that our privacy is protected. This trust is the bond that holds the free market together.
Along comes some anarchist who doesn’t respect the rules of commerce? Who wants to use data for his or her own selfish purposes? Hold it ransom to make a buck?
Life is short. Hack a cheater.
OMG…… This must be the KARMA BUS, right?????!!!!!
I am a divorce attorney. Everyone cheats if they think they won’t get caught. If I had a nickle for every time I heard a spouse say the never thought their spouse was a cheater type but he was, I would be a billionaire.
The sad thing is that you never know who will cheat until they do.
Quote: [i]”Everyone cheats if they think they won’t get caught.”[/i]
Fortunately, there are a lot of people who don’t cheat for ethical reasons, not because they are fearful of getting caught.
Everyone cheats if they think they won’t get caught? Bullshit, asshole with no ethics cheat, don’t paint everyone with that brush. Chump Nation has plenty of proof that’s not true.
yes, wayfarer, that is thinking about the opportunity cost. Of course people are going to be attracted and tempted. They wouldn’t have a pulse if they didn’t.
The ENTITLEMENT to do what feels good not caring if it hurts another?
Something my counsellor said yesterday was truly shocking. He said: [your chump contract was] looking after someone in the hope they will look after you. When you started demanding to be cared about and stating your needs, he reacted by having an affair’.
STOP this contract, and look after you.
No, Patsy. Some of us don’t live life like that. We aren’t tempted because we simply don’t engage in cheatin’ thinking.’ That’s what sex compulsives do.
I bet you’ve heard some doozie stories too. Divorce lawyers really have seen it all.
Is this more than observation? Are you trying to dump your own guilt?
Many have been cheated on, but have never reciprocated. We value marriage, our children, and ourselves to much to be swimming in that filth.
Hoping the Karma Bus includes my XPOS on the Ashley site and his new flavor of the week finds out! ‘Course though, he prefers doing his own hunting in the local strip holes, (pun intended) and trolling the streets. That way he knows what they look like right away……no wait time.
DELICIOUS!!
Hackers, with this kind of target, I would be happy to join your team. Since I don’t know how to apply, I will just say thank you !!!
Would not be suprised if the “deleted” accounts are in fact moved to another server with mediocre security. I bet that the live servers are managed by skilled computer engineers, and the less important servers where archives are stored, are managed by trainees. A trainee may have made a copy of the server content. So it’s not really “hacking” – a trainee is always happy to use this word. Maybe the archive servers are not even accessible from outside, and all it took was a USB key. Technically, data is deleted, but companies are always reluctant to delete completely.
Oh the blackmail opportunities at play here! I wonder how many members are willing to pay someone, anyone mucho $$$ to delete their accounts. You go hackers. More power to y’all.
I really hope something comes of this. It would be somewhat validating to see my X’s name of one of those lists. Will be following this story closely.
Same here NewlymitedChump. Does anyone know where to find this information that has been leaked out? I would love, I mean LOVE to see the list! But most likely he is not using his real name. I’m sure his “lucky” number could be in there. He used his lucky number in most everything.
Well, that’s the really interesting thing… they could potentially leak actual names, not just usernames because they have credit card info. Supposedly they leaked a small amount of the data to prove that they actually have it, but then removed it. Who knows. But I’ll be watching to find out.
Mine’s lucky number is 57, so I was roaring at “SpankyHoneyCheeks57”
Too perfect with No. 57! Mine used RAW, as they are his initials. How happy was he with such descriptive initials? Until, that is, he realized it was a dead giveaway. . .
So, where do you find such data, if one is suspicious?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s my reply too……LOL!!!!
I don’t believe in Karma, but I do believe in Natural Consequences!
High-priced divorce lawyers everywhere are on their knees in gratitiude….
Ha!!! Was just thinking the same thing. Cha-ching!
Spit out my coffee laugh out loud hysterical, thanks TheLadyisaChump!
Ha! I was thinking the same thing! Thanks for saying what I was thinking TheLadyisaChump!
What a coincidence. It’s ‘make a will month’ too.
LadyisaChump, you slayed me once again!
“Life is short. Hack a cheater.” Ha!
I am not advocating committing crimes. Does seem to be sort of fitting that the cheater site is struggling with someone taking something from them deceptively.
I wonder if the alleged fact that he did not scrub info is a legal breach on the part of the business?
I think that’s it exactly. It’s the legal way to shut down the business (or make life really difficult), by demonstrating that it lied to its customers about the full delete. Works for me. In some sense, though, I feel like it’s Whack-A-Mole. Another Ashley Madison wannabe will pop up. Ugh.
Yes, there will be another soon enough. Cheaters’ gonna cheat. But this news did make me smirk on a Monday morning so I’m not complaining.
Me, too. Although it likely won’t affect my own Wasband, I am still enjoying this as a small little Karma bus for many cheaters out there. Even if just makes some of them nervous for a bit. I’m playing my happy music. Plus, I like the idea that maybe this Impact Team includes a chump and that was part of the motivation. Who knows. 🙂
“…maybe this Impact Team includes a chump and that was part of the motivation…” I thought the same thing LiningUp! Maybe a group of chumps!
Coincidentally I just saw Noel Biderman featured on HBO’s new show about ‘sex’ and ‘sexual fantasies/preferences’ Friday Every decade they reinvent that same show–Only the music changes
They even featured some cheaters and their rationale for joining Ashley Madison. They were edited to look like ‘average people who’s only flaw was to have some excitement while preserving their marriages. ‘ :-/. How altruistic they are.
Well, they wanted excitement? Now they’ve got it.
I’m sure Mr Biderman has more than a few enemies in a business model such as that
You nailed it. They only want *their pet idea of excitement”. I’m guessing pants-shitting anxiety at being found out isn’t what they had in mind. Lolz.
Haaaaa! You know, MsMachete, pants-shitting anxiety perfectly defines what happened to me the night I discovered that my husband of 14 years was leaving me with our brand new 1 and 2 year old babies in tow to move thousands of miles away to live with a stripper he’d been seeing for 5 months while on the road ‘working to pay off the medical debts from having the babies’. Pants-shitting anxiety also perfectly describes my anguish when he left us with a single packed suitcase less than 24 hours after I learned of his betrayal, leaving me on my own to sort out the logistics of our entwined lives and provide care for our children with a decimated psyche. It’s also pretty dead-on in describing the trauma-filled, horrifying journey I had to endure driving from CO to CA, having to leave because the house we lived in wasn’t ours and I had no family nearby who could help me with the babies. Yep. So if, say, my ex-husband’s name were to appear on a list like that, how much would I pay to see it? All the money. All the money is my answer to that.
Ohmigosh, hissecrettreason – what a horrible douchebag that (hopefully) ex is!! Two tiny babies and a wife – for a whore?! It’s disgusting what they do, and all the ways they hurt us and our children for their short-term fix and their crotches. Don’t worry – Karma is truly a bitch, and often gives no notice when it arrives to pick-up the cheaters. They bought their ticket on that bus a loooong time ago, but since they’re so freaking “special,” they don’t believe they have to get on when it shows up.
I hope things are looking up for you a little bit each day, and I’m glad to hear you’re back around a support network of family. Make sure to lean on them and don’t try to be brave all the time; it’s how you’ll heal your wounds and be stronger than you thought possible for yourself, and those angel-babies. Your babies have an awesome Mom, and real family around them now who love all of you. (((Hugs, girl.)))
I hope they do a federal investigation and that they lock up the Bierderman (spelling?) Creep and his Stepford wife. Pieces of shit.
// , I think that would be rather difficult. Noel Biderman has already amassed quite the sum to pay his way out of the legal system.
But there’s not enough to pay his way out of hell.
Let me try to buy a portion of this data on the dark web and screw all these fucking cheaters. Some revenge.
// , You don’t have to buy it. It’s free.
Also, for anonymous internet use, check these:
https://www.torproject.org/projects/torbrowser.html.en
+
https://www.witopia.com/products/
Combining a personal VPN with the Tor Browser Bundle are a standard means of protection to access the internet anonymously.
I set up a fake profile a few years ago, but refused to pay to delete it, so they don’t have my credit card info. I just removed what little information I had entered, mostly fake anyway. I can’t remember what they asked for. All males have to pay when they register, lol, so they are all in there.
I set up a fake profile a year or so ago. When they told me I had to pay to delete it, I told them I was there looking for a cheater and if they didn’t delete me it I’d do whatever I could to help the spouses of the cheaters on there. I got deleted for free.
That’s great, Elizabeth!
Elizabeth – you’re hard-core, girl! Love how these cowards give-up when even THEIR cover might get blown. Way to go, chickie!
I was extremely tempted to put fake personal ads on Craigslist in Handout Boy’s new locale to see if he would bite. I would know EXACTLY what to put in the ad to hook him. But what would I gain from it? I already know everything I need to know and we have no property no kids so a divorce will be boilerplate.
This is where I’m at. I find myself looking through craigslist ads in his area to see if I can find him, even though I know that there is no reason to. I’m done with him. I guess it would just provide one more shred of validation for me that he really is a creep who never loved me, and nothing like the person he pretended to be.
// , Sting operations on people like this would tempt even the best of chumps, I suspect.
I put a keylogger on my STBX’s computer after I found some things, like selfie pics of him that he took in his truck with stupid looking grins and sunglasses on. The keylogger revealed that he went to a site called “Lonely housewives .com”. Ugh, he had a lonely house wife at home, ME!!!!! I felt physically sick when I saw that.
Elizabeth, whatever data you put in AM is in the info the hackers have. Luckily you didn’t give a credit card cos you are female. Just sayin, that is the REASON they hacked it, the promise to delete data was not kept.
I did the same. Couldn’t be bothered to pay to delete mostly fake data. After the “scandal” involving fake female profiles administered by AM staff and wives tracking down cheaters, I wonder how many *real* female accounts there actually are?
// , Given that cheaters will default to the lowest effort, I doubt that there are many female members.
It’s possible that AM is just a pimp site. I mean, if the female “profiles” are fake, and they lead subscribers to “professionals” who are posting on there, then this is pimping, plain and simple. I’m so fucking sick of people saying why are you policing “consenting adults,” … duh, the betrayed spouse never consented to this crap. And if someone set up a website to facilitate OTHER bad behavior, everyone would condemn it, right? I mean, imagine a website advertising, “Life is short, buy some drugs.” “Life is short, kill your wife.” “Life is short, embezzle from your employer.”
In fact, the more i think about it, the more I think Noel Biderman really and truly is just a fucking pimp.
Amen!
There are definitely some. My STBX wife for one, and the woman who told her about it (who was herself a marriage and family therapist, ack!)
I wouldn’t be surprised if many of her toxic girlfriends used it at one time or another.
“Life is short. Hack a cheater.”
Hacking a cheater helped me expose their affair and left them feeling “violated” knowing their personal emails were being shared with our family and friends. Guess it’s not the private relationship they thought it was…well, not anymore anyway.
“Life is short. Hack a cheater.”-Great saying CL! I rather say “Life is short. Slap a cheater with a 2 x 2.” I know a great place where I would love to slap the ex and the rest of the cheaters in this world!
Unfortunately, I doubt whether any of us are going to get to see the information and use it. I think some chumps should come up with their own company. Cheaters gonna cheat, so make a profit off of it, and give it to groups that provide services to women and children. “Assuage.com -Be good when you’re being bad.”
Gee, who would’ve thought that an infidelity related web site would ever lie to it’s users! It’s almost like when you ask a cheater to go no contact with an affair partner, they swear they have, but they totally lied about it!
Ahhhh! Sweet karma again! What goes around comes around!
I hope they expose each and every one of them! Publish their names in a searchable list. Maybe the cheaters will have to endure a little anxiety of their own for once.
I don’t condone cyber crime, either. After all, you know that some of that credit card information is linked to the innocent spouse, whose POS cheater used the joint card to pay for the site. After all, lots of married people have joint cards, but the money is largely handled by one person. It would not be hard to use the joint card, and have the innocent spouse have no idea. A charge to “Ashley Madison” might be a charge to a clothing store (remember that gift I got you? It came from Ashley Madison) or a computer store (oh yeah, Avid Life Media sold me that flash drive at a great price!). Chumps, being chumps, won’t think about cheating websites.
Anyway, the point is that leaking the credit information can harm both the guilty and the innocent.
That said, I do think that the failure to wipe data after charging for it could make the day of several lawyers. And yes, I can see the site closing, but I also agree that it’s a bit like whack-a-mole. Another will spring up.
Sigh.
I agree, kb, I hope they don’t release the CC numbers, for that reason, because it might hurt the innocent spouses of these cheaters. But full names, city and state? That would be fine. The truth might help some chumps break free.
The truth will indeed help some chumps break free. A few days ago I discovered my husband rekindled his relationship with one of his former sluts. I gave him 3 days to get his stuff out of the house; he’ll be out today!!!! Yay! I had already asked him to leave prior to this, but he was dragging his feet, and I, chump that I am, was being patient so things wouldn’t escalate. I just realized that I needed that last bit of abuse to move forward. I’m not sad, mad or jealous. I’m just DONE.
Just after Dday, I tried to hold things together until I could figure out what was going on. I told my husband then, “I will stay with you and try to work things out, but if any of your e-media gets aired, I’m out of here.” I knew I couldn’t deal with the public humiliation on top of the shock of discovery, and depression. Idiot stbxh had FaceTime sexcapades, and sent a host of damning emails to a sex parlor whore, among others. Idiot (oops. I already said that.).
I realize we all have different thresholds for abuse. For me, and possibly for many others, the “public shame” factor was at the top. It was nearly impossible to deal with the shit sandwiches he was serving me, and even CONSIDER dealing with friends and family… their opinions and input. Too much.
ItsAJourney,
I know you are just “done”. Big hugs to you. No matter what, it’s still a hellish road ahead, but you will survive. That I can assure you.
Yes !! The first time I saw “Ashley Madison” I thought it was the clothing store “Laura Ashley” where I never buy anything because their flowery dresses and country sweaters make me look all frumpy. I like the style but it’s not for me. I used to see a shop in Paris but I’ve moved a long time ago, hence the confusion.
I know, right? I definitely would have thought Laura Ashley clothing store had it not been for its mention in last week’s Serial Cheater’s letter. –First time I ever heard of it… Why does it sound like a clothing store?
I regard porn sites as an iteration of Dante’s inferno-avoid at all costs – except when nailing a criminal in a marriage! -Among the worst!
And tragic – think Craig’s list murder of DC Lawyer this year – omg his wife! My heart goes out to her…
Helpful reference of Dante’s inferno
http://www.parseerror.com/vis/inferno/
The site is combining links to software practices with the vizualization of Dante’s inferno, I don’t quite understand the purpose of the author (whose biography seems unavailable). I think I can use the other links for my everyday work…
I agree with you regarding porn. When I was very weak due to a burnout, I had to be careful because the slightest argument between other people would feel like fire in my stomach and would make me hide in a corner to breathe heavily. I was extra sensitive, and porn felt totally unbearable. It convinced me that porn is evil. Porn images carve into your brain and keep coming back forever.
That’s a good point, kb. How many chumps never looked closely at charges on their joint credit cards, bank statements, or cell phone bills? I know I didn’t.
Or, the cheaters have their own credit cards and private email account, and have stuff sent to work or hotel address. Until D-day #1, I used the joint email account, and had not cc that he didn’t have access to. His were all locked up tight.
I didn’t know until the legal process started that the codes next to ATMs, Dunkin Donuts and drugstores on the credit card statement connect to specific addresses.
When I paid a drugstore bill in New York why would I, the chump, even question it?
Right in front of my nose?
The billing info on the statement isn’t necessarily a red flag.
Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way.
And i also had some fake profiles on sites that POS frequented…wouldn’t wish that humiliation on any human being.
That being said, i’m not even sure all the cool kids still use AM. There’s so many more out there now.
I’ve always looked at statements closely to make sure we hadn’t been scammed or someone hadn’t stolen card inf, every moth. Everyone should do that. I did NOT do it during near year mourning my Mom, when I came up for air it was the first thing I did. That is how I found out Saddam was cheating.
My STBX had all his bills sent up north to him, his Visa and cell bill, so I never saw them, then when I went on a mission to bust him due to my suspicions, I found the account numbers to these bills and set up online bill viewing, went through the archives of the bills and got the shock of my life, hotels, flights and 1000’s of calls, texts to her number on his cell bill. Online billing rocks!!!!!
It would not necessarily show Ashley Madison on the credit card. When I shop at the Salvation Army it says Sally Ann on the charge.
In fact, that would be interesting to know. I would be surprised if they haven’t already figured this out and have somehow camouflaged their name on the statments.
This is hysterical. The irony of it all.
More than few people crapped their pants this AM.
I found out about my SA’s massage prostitutes from a AOL breach (called Bleeding Heart). Captured all his addresses in his e-mail account and sent out a bogus “camping” e-mail to them. My e-mail address was mixed in with a bunch of “happy ending” care givers.
BUSTED.
I wonder if these are the same gals/guys. Don’t fuck with a computer chump. HA HA HA HA
I really wanna join the Impact Team!
Me, too!
Same here!
Add me to the list! Hell, we should make fan t shirts
I might have a good day today after all! HA!!!
If something comes out of this, to actually expose the mf cheaters, Im celebrating! Who’s with me?!?!?!
Definitely!
Wait! Do I hear……(gasp) yes! It’s Timid Forest Creatures……trembling in their proverbial boots!
LOL Boudica Reborn!
Hopefully, Interpol and Europol can convince Inspector Clouseau to come out of retirement and investigate this all thoroughly.
I demand the best fictional investigation ever!
Lord Peter Wimsey!
Sure, him too. And Austin Powers and Mr. Bean. All of our top comedic fictional super investigators should be on this immediately.
Sherlock and John wh
ere are you???
As long as it is not:
Inspector Lewis
Castle or
Avery Ryan
They actually solve the cases.
This is awesome. Of course, I already know my ex was using the Ashley Madison site. When his affair was exposed at D-day #2, he told me he met her on that site, and then paid to delete his account. Then the stupid thing printed out the confirmation and left the print out! I tucked that away with all the other evidence I was gathering.
I’ve since begun to doubt that that OW was from that. Cheaters site. She doesn’t behave like a player, and has enmeshed with my kids without a struggle, and didn’t run for the hills when my ex presented himself as available. I suspect he found her at a conference, and didn’t want me to try to prevent his going to conferences.
He did have a Ashley Madison account, and he was quick to delete it. I believe that he had a lot of activity that he wanted hidden. It’s good that this hacking occurred. He’s probably very uncomfortable with this violation of his affair privacy. I’m personally cheering on the karma bus.
Does anyone know whatever happened with the Adult Friend Finder hack? Similar kind of thing — but as far as I know nothing came of it, and no one was found responsible either.
Good question CL! Adult Friend Finder was among my EH’s favorite sites.
Thank you, Impact Team, for debunking an old saying and proving that, yes indeed, you CAN cheat a cheater (or even millions of cheaters).
Ashley Madison complaining that it has been hacked and thus cheated out of its info security: reminds me of the guy who calls the cops and reports a theft because he figures out the pot he bought is oregano. In the law game, we call that “coming to court with unclean hands.”
Also, for you anagram fans out there, “ashleymadison.com” rearranges to “Oh my! I am a coldness.”
I love your anagrams, Nomar. ‘Moldy remnants’ was a great one, too!
Norma, you rule once again!
Typo, Nomar
I imagine we will have an influx of members in the coming days, chumps. This is my only sadness.
I had that thought too Calamity Jane. I just pictured all the DDays and the pain for all the poor chumps. Sad. They will find refuge here that’s for sure.
For a long time I took as truth that he said he found OW on AM. After all, why would someone lie about that? That’s horribly incriminating. Maybe he did, maybe not. Nothing he said/says is to be accepted without proof. But he was on that site, and as fast as he deleted the account, he wanted something kept hidden. He didn’t seem to care that I may get the proof that the account was closed, therefore existed. But getting it closed was worth spending 20 dollars. I’m sure that, even though we’re divorced, he still is uncomfortable with the hack.
From what I understand, it’s very expensive to hook up on that site, unless you are good looking or rich which means you could probably get easy ass in real life fairly easy at bars, etc.
I know my ex didn’t use it cause he’s too cheap. The tightwad’s ashley madison is doing a quick memory scan of chicks from the past known to be an easy lay.. Ie, true love.. Buy them a meal, fling some compliments their way,
Handout Boy is already using the Poor Man’s Ashley Madison…..Classmates.com. I got into his email account and found the receipt for his membership and the emails he is already sending to former female friends. No males–big surprise. He had only been gone 3 weeks when he did this. I guess we know what that elusive “problem” of mine was that caused him to leave. I wouldn’t let him date.
Yep, that’s about tight wads style, lol.
Not alone Lady, Saddam used classmates.com to find a fuck friend also, someone who didn’t even actually know him in high school. Her emails waxed poetic about how much she wanted to know him back then but was too shy. His were bullshit too, saying how he had noticed her but he was too shy even if he seemed tough, and, gag me! He told her he was taken advantage of by an older woman, Jesus!
OMG what a classic idiot. Mine was on Adult Friend Finder, Classmates, Facebook, Craigslist, Yahoo – you name it.
[Sorry, out of the subject]
Ladies, when you have to meet your cheater ex-, when no hard feelings are involved, do you feel anxiety afterwards ?
I saw him saturday because I helped him carry a piece of furniture to his appt, it fit in my car and not in his. He suggested we have lunch on the port afterwards, we did and then I returned home. My whole weekend was ruined, anxiety through the roof. I can’t explain it, because the conversation was nothing special. Every time he comes around, my morale sinks. Is this the unconscious mind screaming danger ? Prefontal cortex wants to know.
This is probably why people who have been mugged don’t go to lunch with their muggers. Only a guess.
Haha yes but they haven’t spent a decade of their existence with the mugger…
Agree, TimeHeals. Going full no contact is your best bet. Also if you do have to see him never ever go any place with him. Have someone with you if you do and always treat it as a “Bank Transaction” show no emotion. Maybe even a better idea gets someone else you know to help him so you don’t have to deal with that trash again. He is not your problem. He is not your friend. Trust that he sucks!
correction….get someone to help you and not “gets”
ChumpFromF, also remember if your ex is a typical Cluster B Personality Disorder this is a typical Relationship Cycle they all seem to follow. Just names and type of sex (meaning being a male and/or female) changes not the pattern of behaviour they all follow. Basically they will keep on coming back until you step up and say no more and go 100% No Contact. He will act all nice to you to keep you in his pocket for a source of cake. He is just using you for a rainy day (please don’t take this me being rude or not understanding in your situation). He has no interest in being anything to you. To be honest with you he is just using you for his own purpose. He knows how to get to you; hence, your history with him. That is how these people work they know your weak spots and use it against you. Remember you have to stay strong and make healthy boundaries and say “NO”. Keeping 100% No contact is a healthy move for you and for your healing process. No Contact is not for him it is for you! I was with the ex for over 15 years and they all work the same way. Also make sure you are getting some therapy for this also.
I am going to give you a great podcast link that explains in great detail how ALL Cluster B Personality Disorders (same for male and female) people work. Don’t be mislead with the title of it. I would urge you to listen to it. It helped me with many unanswered questions about the ex and also helped me see not only he but also his family and friends and many of my family members have Personality Disorders. These people seem to “hang” together. This is the link (please, please listen to it):
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relational-harm-reduction/2014/10/24/after-a-pathological-love-relationship-hes-moved-on-and-is-with-someone-new
I wish you the best of luck. Remember we are here for you and we all have been in your shoes. Sending you hugs!
ChumpFromF, I can endorse the link that Beth sent above – it’s a great source of information. Him asking you out for a meal afterwards sounds a bit like Hoovering to me (to suck you in for more Cake). If you absolutely can’t go No Contact, have you tried a technique called Gray Rock? You can search for it. I’m so sorry about your anxiety. As Beth says, we’ve either all been there, or are there now. ((Hugs)).
Totally get it ChumpfromF. I also endorse the podcast. One of the things they emphasize is that we did bond with these monsters. We loved them. The truth, however, when you are ready, and this was very difficult for me to comprehend (especially when they appear so happy with OW) is that they are. not. capable. of. love!!!! For 25 years, I consciously and unconsciously convinced myself that he was a good person; that deep down he was okay. It’s taken me a very long and painful process, one fraught with obtaining info through research, podcasts, understanding cluster B personality disorders and support via CL, CN, family, friends, and therapy to begin to believe that cheater ex is only going to repeat the cycle with OW and that her punishment (for having an affair with a married father and hurting my children) is that she can now go through the hell that I did. If I didn’t resent and abhor OW so much, I might actually feel sorry for her inevitable and upcoming pain. But I’m not really at that point, just seeing it bobbing on the horizon. She and ex can eat shit for all I am concerned and I believe that Meh is not condoning but a neutral reaction when thinking of them.
Working on Meh, hope I get there.
That Cluster B info really helped me understand, I could relate to it all. Thanks for sharing it with us all. 🙂
ChumpFromF, yes, seeing or having anything to do with my ex for the first couple of years after D-day would send me into a tailspin. It’s because you haven’t worked through the grief yet. You’re not far enough along in your new life and your brain is still trying to conjure up the old one. It’s a really tough place to be. I would suggest you stay as much “no contact” as possible, even if you’re fairly amicable with your ex. It’s just better for your own healing.
Why are you helping your ex move furniture? That’s nice of you but it gives him an excuse to bother you and try to see if he can still get ego kibbles so from you.
Like!
Jesus, not to mention free moving service!
In the early days, yes it bothered me. The sight of him was a trigger that brought up all those negative, nasty emotions. I would just feel icky inside – didn’t matter what the conversation was.
I cut all contact, and began to heal without those constant triggers. He still texts once in a while, “how you doing….love you forever”. Whatever. I just feel annoyed and a little amazed that he still thinks there is a chance I might change my mind.
It does fade…but you have to cut out all contact. You can’t get over what you keep in front of your face.
Thanks everybody for your insight… Beth, I am listenig to the podcast while drawing, right now. Thanks a lot.
You are most welcome ChumpFromF also look up Gray Rock method that Boudica Reborn stated. I forgot about that one (thanks for reminding me Boudica Reborn). We are here for you ChumpFromF and remember you are mighty!
Impact Team is now a GOD to me! This is a great day for all us chumps! Still would like to know if the ex is on there. If Impact Team does release this information someone needs to let us know. I would love to see it!
Now they just need to hack The Erotic Review
Ah, Schadenfreude.
It’s a nice feeling.
Ah yes, isn’t it though? Lol – thanks zyx321!
I also think there needs to be a class action suit to pay restitution to anyone with the names Ashley or Madison, due to the negativity associated with that site.
This is really good news. Bravo to the hackers because this is an evil institution. If people want to cheat the dissolution of this website won’t stop them but if its one less piece of BS in the world, I’ll take it. One less corner of misery in the world.
I LOVE THIS!!!!! LOL
I wonder, if he hears of this, ‘The Great I Am’ will use one of his favourite sayings – ‘It couldn’t happen to a nicer fellow!’. Somehow, I think not!
Chortle! 😀
How do I thank Impact Team?
Oh, please, post the abhorrent Australian ad again. The nasty, wormy, fish-mouthed guy is all I can think about w this…
Juicy news for breakfast, isn’t it?
I would imagine my husband’s girlfriend may be nervous this morning because, as a many-time poster on Ashley Madison, husband could now find out if she’s still active.
Husband may be a tad uncomfortable as well, for the exact same reasons.
Lay down with dogs and you get fleas, as they say. (Sorry to the dogs it’s just an expression!)
Lots of anxious people maybe watching their inboxes and news feeds this morning, or perhaps Google this issue every, say, five minutes?
HA!
Wow. I knew this site existed but I never imagined the # of people that participated. I am unable to comprehend how anyone could use this site or how founder can live with himself. Even after 50-plus years, I believe that most people are good…..I am so optimistic but also so naive – possibly why i failed to recognize my husbands affair….I knew his young assistant had a crush on him, but never in a million years though he would reciprocate …………
I love the tweet – hacker was likely a divorce lawyer
The problem is that the hacker sites get removed. I recommend some good IT people hack the hackers and then spread this ASAP on the net. Once it is out there it will take on a life of its own. The couple who were cheating in NZ with the lights on in the office cannot undo the pictures of them. Too many people have seen them. That’s what I would like to see with this. Also, cheaters can change ccs. They just can’t get out of being who they are. Who wants them anyway?!!?
Let Go, what they did is illegal, as funny as I find it, I also condemn it. It’s unethical as hell no matter how well deserved. and if I got their data I’d be looking at multiple felonies, ethical hackers won’t touch this stuff!, not just out of fear of jail, it’s because we are honest and work within the law
37 million records…I tell you after I found out about my cheating wife after 24 years together (16 months ago) I am enjoying being single. I don’t even crave a relationship anymore, maybe because I’m 50 and already did the kids thing and had all of that for a good 20 years, the last few being crap. But now my heart just isn’t in it. Maybe that’ll change I don’t know but quite frankly I’m enjoying the non stress in my life. To think about her and her actions with her iPhone welded to her hand the past years…I was certainly blind to what was happening but would’ve never imagined the road she was on. To think almost 10% of the U.S. population is signed up and paying for this “service” is sickening.
I feel the same kbchump. I’m 55, married for 31 years and with him for 36. Just don’t have the heart to go through marriage again, I’m enjoying peace and tranquility of being on my own. I feel fortunate to have a male friend and companion who I enjoy doing things with, though.
And I’ll chime in too at 55. Same marriage length as Lyn too. Can’t say I’ll do marriage again. If by some chance it works its way to that, well OK. But I’m certainly not looking for a commitment. You know sometimes they say when you’re NOT looking, it happens, lol!
I feel the same. I am hitting 58 soon and I think I have come to some sort of an acceptance that I won’t marry again, or probably even have another relationship for that matter. I live in a city where there are a great number of single women of all ages but particularly those 50 and over. The official stats reflect 52% women to 48% men. It doesn’t feel like that. The limited amount of “events” I attend, it’s more like 15 women to 1 male. Seriously. I attend the odd Meetup event for coffee or a movie and that’s the norm. All the males appear to be married or in committed relationships.
I did date a couple of men over the last few years, neither lasted more than 3 months. My picker must be vastly improved, because when there were red flags, I listened, watched and they soon showed me who they were.
At first I fought against this thought that it was over for me…… questioned why Mr. Cheaterpants could be on live-in GF # 4? and how wonderful and fulfilled his life appears with each current new love, but as time goes by, I realize that I just don’t have the energy or the interest. I like my little home, love my city, enjoy my work and I prefer spending my life this way. It’s simpler, stress-free and I find joy in that daily.
However, I do spend far too much time in solitude. I am finding it difficult to make friends in this city – I moved from a smaller town where we lived as a family almost 5 years ago to this beautiful city to make a fresh start – it was too hard living in the same town as my ex, surrounded by the memories. I do get lonely and tired of doing everything on my own.
Many people I have spoken to have made the same observation – it’s hard to make friends and find a sense of community here which is an unhealthy way of living because I do have a sense of isolation. I wouldn’t move back to that town though – moving here helped my healing after the devastation of a 27 year “happy” marriage, 31 years together crashed when I found out he was a serial cheater.
I know that when I do have a friend/social support system in place I will feel way more contented with the fact that another relationship is most probably not on the horizon for me. And the joy of my beautiful surroundings and cheater-free existence stills sustains me…….
Same here, early fities, looking younger, sometimes attracted by a man but then I think about what the relationship would entail: shopping for groceries, cooking a different meal every day, going places for his entertainment, having to bear his friends and relatives who may not be as interesting, being worried when he goes silent or does not show up when he is supposed to, having to dress nice to please him, etc. etc. and then I think, damn, is it worth the trouble ? Can’t I use my remaining years to do the things I love to do, without any constraints ?
Hello all you chumps above. I too am early 50s. The thought of connecting to a man again literally fills me with horror. I still have a lot of healing to do and enjoy every second I can make decisions on my own without giving cheater pants a second thought. I love my independence, my sweats, my popcorn and watermelon for dinner, exercising at my own pace, going out with girlfriends, decorating my place, doing whatever the fuck I want. Love it. I have such little trust in men right now, I just don’t think having one would heal my trust issues so I am loving this alone thing.
ChumpB – so pleased you are enjoying your life now – many people can’t stand being alone and start a new relationship because they can’t be alone – it’s scary. I honestly find joy in my freedom on a daily basis.
But I admit that I spend too much time alone and really have to work at having more of a balance.
Very happy the last couple of days – I finally changed back to my maiden name, it’s a gigantic process, but about time!. It’s a beautiful last name.
Freeman. Yep, that’s right – very fitting. I didn’t ever think how much it would define my later years.
Lynne I was just talking to my Mother about going back to my maiden name after the divorce is final, to me it will feel like ridding myself of him completely. I’m happy for you.
Kate50 — do it. I took my maiden name on the day divorce was finalized. Got my new license same-day. Six months post-divorce, I actually enjoy correcting people when they call me by that douchbag x’s last name. It’s a multi-step process to rid ourselves of these asswipes, but the short-term hassle of changing EVERYTHING back to our given names is worth it. Taking your name back reminds you of who YOU are, and of how easily we gave ourselves away to those assholes, and to our marriage. You won’t be so quick to do all that again. It’s a psychological hurdle that I’m so glad I scaled. I’m proud to re-order all my college diplomas and self-separate in every way that I can. I’m rebuilding EVERY part of my life, now douchebag free, and that includes getting rid of a last name that now means NOTHING to me, and causes a slight gag reflex.
Do it.
I so hope my STBX wife will change her name. I hate that she walks around with my name after defiling it on Ashley Madison.
“Cheating is like the secret glue that keeps millions of marriages together.” – Ashley Madison founder Noel Biederman
“Hactivism is like the secret glue that keeps millions of organizations from being even bigger dicks than they already are.” – Free Vixen
^^^ THIS
Oh oh, I joined that site when I was trying to see if my STBX was on it lol, tried to delete it after while and you have to pay, so I didn’t bother and left it there. Oh well.
All aboard the Schadenfreude Express m*therF*ckers! Toot toot!
Chumpion, I LMFAO! Toot toot …. And, CL’s “Sweet irony thy name is SpankyHoneyCheeks57,” made me laugh so hard it changed my day. Things already look brighter. Anonymous text to the STBX in re Spanky’s been exposed? Who knows what the day holds?
Perhaps a suspecting spouse could contact their bank to see if any of their cards have been compromised. As long as they have a joint credit card they should be able to at least enquire with the bank. The bank will have to send notification of the hack. Reaping what their sin has sown!
Off the subject, but woo hoo, another whorDulterous relationship has bit the dust. Miranda “I knew he was married” Lambert and Blake “I’m a whore ” Shelton. Those two made me want to puke. Too bad they don’t have to stay together, lol. Now if LeAnn Rimes gets her just rewards. As if looking like a human cadaver isn’t reward enough.
I sent that same info in a message to CL today, too. I did a little happy dance (i know, that’s so bad) when I read the announcement that flashed on my phone for People Magazine! Now if we can just get the Karma bus to work on LeeAnn/Eddie like you said and include Tori/Dean, Jason Aldean/what’s her name… and I think there is someone else? 🙂
It’s not bad, Alla Lie. I have had to listen to my co workers babbling about it all day. Poor Miranda. Just when she lost all that weight. Blah. Blah. Blah. I hope they both explode, plus the ones you mentioned.
Oh I think the other couple waiting on the Karma bus was Johnny Depp/Amber Heard (even though he wasn’t married to Vanessa, they were still in a long term relationship).
Maybe you are thinking of Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood AllaLie. They supposedly gushed about each other but didn’t act on it til they were both “single. “
Eh, CCs are easily changed. For some odd reason, the ex was always getting his card hacked and seemed to have to get a new one every few months- I imagine it’s from going to porn sites and other crap like Ashley Maddison. I’m all for some transparency.
If the Director of the CIA who has every possible intelligence and protection resource available to him got busted cheating; I really don’t think anyone, and I mean anyone can be 100% sure they will never be caught.
No matter what route the cheater decides to use; regular website, hyper protected ashley madison, pick up at a bar, co-worker, friend…. no matter who they choose, the second they cheat, there is a chance they will get caught, or that it will come bouncing back at any point in their lives. even if the bust isn’t immediate, they have done this, and the universe knows, and the universe will find a way to kick them in the ass.
I don’t know how cheaters sleep at night, even if they aren’t cheating anymore, or between cheats. I don’t know how they sleep knowing at any point, something, anything could come back to get them.
Like they say: “Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead”. As long as someone else knows you run the risk of getting caught. Hi Tech; lo tech, doesn’t matter.
IMO, I think it’s great that the us is finally joining the rest of the world. Ashley Madison was going public. That means, they finally realized the monogamy does not work. If the person is attractive and their sexual components still function, it’s impossible to stay faithful to one person for the longer life spans we now live.
Susan: There is no shame in cheating anymore in the US. It has been that way for at least 30 years. No consequence for the cheaters. The sad thing is people really ruin their marriages over it. Nice guys are gals who just got carried away by their sex drive. Personally, given the high price of divorce both emotionally and financially, I don’t know who is worse. Is it the cheater or the person who can’t forgive one transgression and would prefer to tear apart their family.
Now a serial cheater is a different beast, but when I have someone who only cheated once, I try to encourage empathy.
Let’s replace “cheating” with “hit you in the face with a stick” and see how that works.
I don’t know who is worse. Is it the person who hits you in the face with a stick, or the person who can’t forgive the person who hit them in the face with a stick and would “prefer to tear their family apart”?
Look, if you cheat, you tear your family apart. Period, End of story. Stop trying to gaslight people.
Yes TimeHeals!!!!
I’d so much rather have been hit with a stick than been cheated on with Ashley Madison.
If you can’t commit to monogamy, don’t commit to marriage. I don’t understand what is so difficult to understand with that concept.
I hate the one time offender excuse too. What does that even mean? Lots of lies go into that one time offense and it’s hardly ever one time. Is it considered one time when a person cheats over and over again with the same person? Where do we draw the line?
If you’re unhappy in a marriage; try to be an adult, work on what’s wrong and if all else fails, get divorced.
The ex in my life was supposedly a one time cheater; not that I believe anything he says anymore these days. He cheated with one person, many times over a two month period. I tried the reconciliation route (for three years-gag) but inevitably dumped him. Best. Decision. Ever! That is one bell that can’t be un-rung.
And to answer your question-the cheater is always worse. They had choices and they made the wrong one. Adults call that consequences.
Monogamy works very well for me. Monogamy isn’t the failure; people who lie about monogamy are. If monogamy doesn’t work for you, then fine, don’t agree to it. It’s like proclaiming yourself a vegetarian, then sneaking hamburgers behind everyone’s back and complaining that vegetarianism isn’t natural. If you want to eat hamburgers, knock yourself out! The problem comes from both eating meat AND claiming to be vegetarian. The failure is in the lies, not the institution.
Well said, Free Vixen.
“Nice guys are gals who just got carried away by their sex drive.” Di, editing is nice, too. Anyway, with the options open to people today, there is no excuse for cheating. And as someone who tries to encourage empathy, why not have some for the hurt party while you’re at it?
Susan, cheaters do it because they like getting away with it. It has nothing to do with sex drive or all the attractive people wandering around. It’s about a lack of character. Have you read these posts at all?
Susan wrote: “IMO, I think it’s great that the us is finally joining the rest of the world. Ashley Madison was going public. That means, they finally realized the monogamy does not work.
If the person is attractive and their sexual components still function, it’s impossible to stay faithful to one person for the longer life spans we now live.”
Wow, Susan, you managed to shoe-horn 3 enormous false clichés about cheating into only 2 short sentences—that’s more lies than sentences! Quite a feat of ignorance and/or maliciousness.
All of the following have been debunked elsewhere on this site:
1. Susan claims: The United States is the only country in the world that disapproves of infidelity. WRONG: Virtually every major religion in the world and a majority of the citizens of every developed nation condemn surreptitious marital infidelity.
2. Susan claims: Ashley Madison proves that the United States as a nation is beginning to accept infidelity. WRONG: 91% of the American public condemns cheating (http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/05/cheating-on-your-spouse-is-bad-divorcing-your-spouse-is-not/276162/ ). Hence Ashley Madison’s (worthless) promise of secrecy.
3. Susan claims: If you are sexually healthy, monogamy is impossible, and if you are faithful it can only be because you are sick and sexually second rate. WRONG: This crazy idea is supported by no evidence in the known universe, and the existence of millions of sexually active, faithful spouses (including tens of thousands on this site) prove the opposite.
So, Susan, don’t know if your “sexual components” function (is there some reason you talk like C-3PO?) but the part of your brain that does reasoning could use a check-up. Stat!
Let me add to that: I discovered that my husband had been cheating most of our 30 year marriage with multiple different women; secretary, whores, co-workers… it didn’t matter. I’m nice looking, our kids are self-sufficient and a credit to society, so the home front is solid. After Dday I asked him if he wanted an open relationship. OPEN… so he could continue to see other women, but the playing field would at least be level. He said no. He’s continued to cheat while I’ve remained faithful. I call bullshit on all of Susan’s claims.
Well she does have a green heart with batwings. Cute when the pics fit the post!
If I ever was to consider remarrying, I would want to meet you Nomar, you keels me 😉
I’d add; ALM was going public because they thought they could make a killing, had nothing to do with what the U.S. And Canada folks think.
No Datdamwuf, I want him, lol! Best, right?
More cheater apologists?
Two words for you: FUCK OFF.
@Susan, so then DO NOT commit to anyone, and be free to boink whoever you want. Or tell your significant other, you want an open relationship.
Don’t lie to someone and make them believe one reality and while doing something different.
Let’s for a second say monogamy is impossible and we shouldn’t have it. What are your thoughts on lying and deception? Because that would be the core issue about cheating.
“A business predicated on cheating, lies to its customers.”
Need more be said. Justice is served!
This is just priceless. A wiki leaks like whistle blower exposing the lies of dishonest people that ruin families and cause huge destruction. Fantastic. These sites epitomise everything that is wrong with our cynical and increasingly narcissistic world. Karma bus indeed. Excellent stuff!!!
When you live in a world where the parents of cheaters make excuses (“You did what you had to do”) and weak-@$$ judges give custody to whores (“Best interest of child”) then of course they will cheat with impunity. They cheat because they truly believe they are entitled to it.
Another thing…with the economy getting worse and worse you can expect to see desperate single moms whoring for diapers and baby formula.
All I have to say about this mess is an old proverb : Thief from thief make God laugh. I got up with a laugh this morning!
I’ve had a fantasy of flying up to Canada and kicking the crap out of Noel Biderman [CEO of Ashley Madison]. My marriage was one of those that exploded when my STBX wife whored herself out on AM.
This is sweet, sweet justice and saves me the cost of a flight. I hope all the data gets released. Every last bit. And pass the popcorn while we enjoy watching the cockroaches scrambling out the light.
HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! I pray that the hackers release every last megabyte of what they found!!!!!! I hope every adulterous POS on that site gets caught, and I hope ALL the names are made public. Public shame rules!! I believe this little piece of karma is the work of God.
I love this story the same way I love whenever there’s a news story about some high-price whorehouse having its records released and all the famous politicians are shitting in their pants. I highly doubt my Ex was on AM though, as he never had a pot to piss in and would likely not have the money for a subscription, though he did have about six different email addresses, and there were weird ph#s all up and down our phone acct that I never scrutinized till D-Day. His actual hunting grounds were all the divorced, widowed and single women whose houses he did remodeling jobs in; which is how he met the OW I found out about and kicked him out over. Later I found out there were priors. Check out the posts on huffpo today, it sickens me to see people defending the cheaters… calling the cheaters and the OW/OM “consenting adults”. Hey, how about the betrayed spouse? *they* didn’t consent because you deceitful assholes decided you were more important… but you still wanted to keep all the resources (kibbles) from your faithful spouse.
I love this… I’m so happy about it.
The last big hack into one of these sites went no where. There was no names posted. No infio leaked.
I think its just a big publicity stunt. Noel and his wifey are probably making another site under some pseudonym which will entice the clients of AM. The Freaks will unknowing be signing up to AM sister site.
Am was getting too must press and people were signing on to find wayward spouses and partners.
I doubt this breach will go anywhere…my gut says it was planned.
I disagree TheClip, this kind of breach looks very bad to investors, they were getting ready for an IPO. This was also at least mostly an inside job, those guys did it for a payday/blackmail. I’m just surprised that ALM didn’t pay them off, my guess is that the hackers fucked up so that too many people knew about the breach. That means the board was afraid the hack would be leaked if they paid em off. so ALM had to go public or end up looking even worse to investors. I’m in the security field, this is my opinion.
I believe you….its not my field. Just wouldnt be surprised if there wasnt more to the story.
Bwahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa! Woops, I meant… BWAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAHAAAA!!! Serves those little bastages right.
I wanna see The Karma Bus™ drive over ’em, throw it in reverse, then gun it backwards and forwards until smoke comes out of the tires!
This has made my YEAR.
One thing for sure, the Universe works in mysterious ways. While I too disagree with the illegality of hacking a site, the thought of Cheating POS spouses being exposed, pants down around ankles, is a very funny thought indeed. My sympathy goes out to all their naive trusting loving Chump spouses…but I also want them to know that life with truth is the best thing. When my ex’s affair was exposed it gave me my life back. No more crazy. It’s a crappy life when you are dealing with an entitled POS spouse whose life revolves around elaborate untruths, tales, and secrets. The disordered are just plain toxic. As to receipts, etc, I was an equal partner in our marriage, shared handling our joint finances (always one checking and savings account in both our names), and expenses, but temporarily dropped my guard when my family and I were dealing with my son’s accident. My ex began spending even more money then. Eating out, traveling, entering tournaments, buying vehicles, and other toys. All at our expense. It was a creative way of getting rid of the extra money, dissipating assets, and all Cheaters do this. So my advice to those who discover infidelity (spouse’s crap behavior is not a simple mistake), the best thing you can do is cut your losses and move on.
A comment on Mr. and Mrs. Blake Shelton. “If he cheats with you, he will cheat on you.” Maybe both can go learn from this. Eight years together, four married, it will be interesting to see how this plays out. Oh her weight loss kind of resembles mine after Dday. Just saying.
Maaaaaaaaaan Nomar, what do you have against oregano? Lol. This is now a legit issue in Washington state. The fake pot selling, not the Ashley Madison hack. That is hysterical. I only wish the hackers could interface their data with facebook. Cheaters being tagged in the Ashley Madison hack would be awesome.
Sheesh, that was supposed to go under Nomar’s first comment. Oh well.
Copied from another cite:
Default Posted: 3:57 PM, July 20th (Monday), 2015 View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage
Here is the full letter they wrote. They give out a few names and say they are releasing 2500 +/- names to show they are real.
But all the links are dead and there are three file names that it would be listed under. None of them result in squat.
Seems like someone has their own hackers to delete all traces of this. MakingMyFuture how do I search the deep web?
I’m also reaching out to a computer whiz I know to see if I can get my hands on it.
Avid Life Media runs Ashley Madison, the internet’s #1 cheating site, for people who are married or in a relationship to have an affair. ALM also runs Established Men, a prostitution/human trafficking website for rich men to pay for sex, as well as cougar life, a dating website for cougars, man crunch, a site for gay dating, swappernet for swingers, and the big and the beautiful, for overweight dating.
Trevor, ALM’s CTO once said “Protection of personal information” was his biggest “critical success factors” and “I would hate to see our systems hacked and/or the leak of personal information”
Well Trevor, welcome to your worst fucking nightmare.
We are the Impact Team. We have hacked them completely, taking over their entire office and production domains and thousands of systems, and over the past few years have taken all customer information databases, complete source code repositories, financial records, documentation, and emails, as we prove here. And it was easy. For a company whose main promise is secrecy, it’s like you didn’t even try, like you thought you had never pissed anyone off.
Avid Life Media has been instructed to take Ashley Madison and Established Men offline permanently in all forms, or we will release all customer records, including profiles with all the customers’ secret sexual fantasies and matching credit card transactions, real names and addresses, and employee documents and emails. The other websites may stay online.
So far, ALM has not complied.
First, we expose that ALM management is bullshit and has made millions of dollars from complete 100% fraud. Example:
-Ashley Madison advertises “Full Delete” to “remove all traces of your usage for only $19.00”
-It specifically promises “Removal of site usage history and personally identifiable information from the site”
-Full Delete netted ALM $1.7mm in revenue in 2014. It’s also a complete lie.
-Users almost always pay with credit card; their purchase details are not removed as promised, and include real name and address, which is of course the most important information the users want removed.
-Other very embarrassing personal information also remains, including sexual fantasies and more
-We have all such records and are releasing them as Ashley Madison remains online.
Avid Life Media will be liable for fraud and extreme personal and professional harm from millions of their users unless Ashley Madison and Established Men are permanently placed offline immediately.
Our one apology is to Mark Steele (Director of Security). You did everything you could, but nothing you could have done could have stopped this.
This is your last warning,
Impact Team
We are not opportunistic skids with DDoS or SQLi scanners or defacements. We are dedicated, focused, skilled, and we’re never going away. If you profit off the pain of others, whatever it takes, we will completely own you.
For our first release, and to prove we have done all we claim, we are listing *one* Ashley Madison credit card transaction for each day for the past 7 years, complete with customer name and address (oneperday.txt) and associated profile information (oneperday_am_am_member.txt and oneperday_aminno_member.txt, selected rows from our complete dump of the AM databases). We are also releasing a hash dump and zone file for both domains, select documents from your file servers, executives’ google drives, and emails, and the Ashley Madison source code repository. Also, since Ashley Madison stopped using plaintext passwords, we’re also releasing the swappernet user table, which still has plaintext passwords:
http://imgur.com/8gQs8KV
https://bitbucket.org/TheImpactTeam/ashley
https://bitbucket.org/TheImpactTeam/ashleymadisondump
https://gitlab.com/ImpactTeam/ashley
https://gitlab.com/ImpactTeam/ashleymadisondump
https://launchpad.net/ashley
https://mega.nz/#!f4smmDCa!YM7eJE2uxDvjGhxPERYk5tgBgeRyZoEYc9d0JMFUCP0
1 example from this dump: “PERNELL GRAZETTE”, with profile ID 23288650, who spitefully paid for Ashley Madison the day after valentine’s day in 2014, lives at 10 charlotte st. Brockton, MA in the US, with email [email protected]. He is not only married/attached, but is open to a list of fantasies from Ashley Madison’s list: |29|44|39|37|7|, a.k.a. “Cuddling & Hugging”, “Likes to Go Slow”, “Kissing”, and “Conventional Sex”. He’s looking for ‘A woman who seeks the same things I seek: passion and affection. If you have such desires then we will get alone just fine’,’|54|11|9|’ which means “Good Communicator”, “Discretion/Secrecy”, and “Average Sex Drive”. He also says “I have only two personal interests on this site. Making sure that You are comfortable with me should I be so fortunate to hold your attention and making sure I take the role of discretion to an artform. I mean isn’t this why we are here, to be as discreet as possible?” From the login table, we know his user ID is ‘Heavy73’ and password hash is ‘$2a$12$ndvz/F.EXyJKRYkrErX/w.EDgzF7cNkJcQvNeDGQylEMHRw2COLZO’.
As another, profile ID 48040 is listed as a “paid delete”, which means a few of his profile text boxes are gone, but from purchase records we know it is “RICKIE RAMRATTAN” from “5499 Cosmic Crescent” “Mississauga”,”ON” “L4Z3P8” whose fantasies are |7|40|17|34|33|37|38|48|36|42|43|50|44|32|39|29|49|18|, which includes “Likes to Give Oral Sex”, “Likes to Receive Oral Sex”, “Light Kinky Fun”, “Role Playing”, “Erotic Tickling”, “Erotic Movies”, “Good With Your Hands”, “Sensual Massage”, and “Dressing Up/Lingerie” among others. You must be glad you paid for your profile to be deleted, huh?
Too bad for those men, they’re cheating dirtbags and deserve no such discretion. Too bad for ALM, you promised secrecy but didn’t deliver. We’ve got the complete set of profiles in our DB dumps, and we’ll release them soon if Ashley Madison stays online.
And with over 37 million members, mostly
Full letter posted here if you scroll down a little bit. They aren’t demanding money and seem to be just pointing out that AM is behaving fraudently too. http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=565760&AP=41
I applaud the hackers in this instance. They deserve a medal. To those who don’t condone hacking – think of it this way. This is justice in the form of public humiliation for some prick who’s decimated your life. Its evening up the balance, you see. They sure as fuck didn’t care about their partners when they were fucking around – why the fuck should we care when someone puts them proverbially to the sword?
Release all the info, I say. And let the fuckers try to scramble back into the dark. If they didn’t want to get publically humiliated, they should have thought of that before being a deceitful piece of shit. No sympathy. Go for the jugular!
As much as it makes for entertaining reading I don’t really think those cheaters who were using the AM site will be worried at all, cheaters don’t give a fuck about anyone else. They are probably secretly enjoying all the drama and the thrill of being part of it.
My XH never batted an eyelid when he was sent a copy of the credit card statement listing all his porn site visits and payments – he denied it up right until he received the actual email, then he changed tack and stated simply “Oh…………., okay……….. well ask yourself why would I need to?……….
They just don’t care and even worse is that ever increasingly no one else seems to care about this common pastime either-other than us Chumps………..
My STBX cares! He scared I’ll show people stuff and his image means everything to him.
My STBX read the news article about the AM hack. I have a keylogger on his computer and saw that he was read it lololol.