So, riffing on yesterday’s Renegade Sex Therapist post, I thought Chump Nation could do its own data mining. (Of course critics will say I’m drawing from a sample of bitter bunnies…) According to Esther Perel, recovery from affairs brings marriages back to life and makes families stronger and more resilient.
“An affair is an act of betrayal and also an experience of expansion and growth,” Ms. Perel said in an interview. “It is a relational trauma, but it isn’t a crime. The family can often come out of it stronger and more resilient, and often an affair will draw the couple out of a place of deadness.”
So, how’s that working for everyone? I know many of you have shared your stories here before, but for the newbies, or anyone else who might be googling “Reconciliation Stories” and stumbles on this page — tell me, what was the result of your reconciliation? Any words of advice?
My advice to anyone set on reconciliation is ironclad boundaries, a credit check, and a post-nup. If the cheater can’t get behind that, there’s the depth of the “sorry.” I’d add that any cheater who assumes you will reconcile with them is still an entitled POS and not worth your time.
But hey, my bias is clear on the banner — leave a cheater, gain a life. Expansion, growth, and resilience? That comes after you refuse to be abused any longer — and exit the scene.
*A big shout out to chump Monika who sent me this awesome graphic.*