So much Ashley Madison news, so little time.
In the hack of Ashley Madison CEO Noel Biderman’s emails, I was not that surprised by the revelation that Ashley Madison hacked a rival site, Nerve.com. Cheaters cheat. Oh, the irony…
What DID surprise me, however, was the screenplay Noel Biderman co-wrote with some guy Marc Morgenstern: “In Bed with Ashley Madison.”
Clever title, huh? Where else would Ashley be?
Consider some catchier titles, Noel. “Pressed Up Against a Tree with Ashley Madison,” “Hijinks in the Janitor’s Closet with Ashley Madison,” “Blowing My Boss in the Walmart Parking Lot by Ashley Madison.”
It’s not enough to be Number #1 Douche in North America, Noel was after the brass ring of douchebaggery — Hollywood script writer.
Don’t give up your day job, Noel. (Before your business folds, that is, considering all the class-action lawsuits…)
The plot line is so convoluted, I can’t begin to explain it, other than it contains a lot of product placement for, what else, Ashley Madison. Here are some excerpts:
Set him on fire? I’m unfamiliar with that kink. Is there a safe word?
Anal bead? (Don’t look this up at work, folks.)
Hannah, Sam wants to go back to the good old days of CROSSWORD PUZZLES. What would logically follow is offering her a pen, the Sunday New York Times, or a dictionary… but anal bead? What’s eight letters for “complete non sequitur”? ANAL BEAD.
Doesn’t everyone get their stock tips doing junior execs in the bathroom? (Oh hey, there’s a title, Noel.) Guess Avid Life Media won’t be having any public stock offerings, what with the lawsuits and all. Don’t take it so hard, Noel. It’s never too late. I have just the anal bead for you.
Oh Sam, sign up today! You can be one of the other thousands of fictitious female profiles on Ashley Madison. It helps that you’re already fiction. I think you have an edge.