Cheaters have a weird moral code. They may have fucked the babysitter in the family van, on the sofa, and on the twirling teacups at Disney World, but if you ask: “Did you screw her in our bed?” The answer is: “What? Do you think I’m some sort of monster?!”
Far be it for us to think cheaters unchivalrous or unkind. Some profess they were thinking of us all the time.
Take Bill Cosby — the guy drugs women for his sexual jollies. But in his deposition he wants it to be clear it’s not as serious as intercourse.
Expounding on his philosophy about sex, Mr. Cosby said he tended to refrain from intercourse because he did not want women to fall in love with him. To him, he said, the act of sexual intercourse “is something that I feel the woman will succumb to more of a romance and more of a feeling, not love, but it’s deeper than a playful situation.”
Yes, people might fall in love with him.
Then there are the bitch cookie moralizers. They want points for not being utterly heinous. My cheater actually said “Hey, I’m not Hitler. I get that you’re upset, but keep it in perspective. It’s not genocide.”
Well, cheater, you absolutely have a point there. You didn’t slaughter 5 million Jews. Have a bitch cookie!
So what was your cheater’s peculiar moral code? Could they not bring themselves to cheat on their affair partners by sleeping with you? Did they go on a fuckfest weekend, but bring you back a nice trinket? Tell me about your considerate cheaters today!