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The Data Hits the Fan

AshleyMadisonChump Lady is coming out of her sleepy vacation cocoon today to report on the Ashley Madison data dump. The hacker(s) made good on their threat. They posted 9.7 gigabytes of data to the “Dark Web” (some nebulous region of the web that Google doesn’t access). Reportedly, the dump contains credit card transactions, email addresses, etc. of Ashley Madison users.

Not surprisingly, AM has its kinky peek-a-boo knickers in a twist.

“This event is not an act of hacktivism, it is an act of criminality. It is an illegal action against the individual members of,” the site said. “The criminal, or criminals, involved in this act have appointed themselves as the moral judge, juror, and executioner, seeing fit to impose a personal notion of virtue on all of society.”

Imposing virtue on all of society? What an obnoxious, insensitive act, said the man who tried to buy the naming rights to a football stadium.

But I get the blameshifting. Better to complain about moral judgments than let people dwell on the whole fraud thing. Oops, didn’t scrub that data like you promised, huh?

Anyway, what do you all think of the data dump? Here’s my prediction — it’s a new business opportunity. Now sites will spring up helping you access “the Dark Web” and find the dirt. Other businesses will spring up to help people scrub the data and manage online reputations.

All I know is Noel Biderman is having a very, very bad day.

What are your thoughts?

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      • Last week, I gummed up someone’s thread trying to post, post and repost a video. It kept displaying a URL without embedding it but I did manage to insert an image okay. I thought maybe it was my iPad but another chump then posted a YouTube video using every method I described and also from his phone. I even used the WordPress instructions.

        • I don’t know what the glitches are about. I’ll investigate next week. I suspect it’s because Word Press just release a new version (my site auto-updates). That often results in glitches, then they get sorted out with update plug-ins.

  • I wonder if Al Gore ever envisioned such a scary place as the dark web when he invented the internet 😉 An illustrious chump is already downloading the ginormous file and is going to report back on whether it is safe to view. I’m totally the kid in the cartoon. I am online all the time but apparently ignore extraneous info. For the longest time, I thought Ashley Madison was an online clothing store….

    • Me too! (women’s clothing) -the first time it came up in our home computer browser about 10 years ago. But, one click had my rose-colored glasses toppling from my nose.
      Of course, at that time, my cheater told me he was just bored, the profiles were free, and he was “just joking around” with all these “moronic people” on the site. Uh, huh….

      • When I was bored and could still eat, I would troll the internet for new chocolate recipes and shared goofy knock-knock jokes with my 7 y.o. ;O

        • My crime was going on a conspiracy site that consisted of world headline news and a forum to discuss things. I actually miss it today, I quit going since my own life became my headline news for me. 🙁 STBXH said I was on it too much and that’s why he cheated, well if he would have been home more I’m assuming that might have helped him not to cheat as well. Geez

          • Kate50: I’m sure, if asked, mine would have claimed the time I spent commenting on a news site years ago was the reason he felt compelled to screw colleagues and grad students at conferences, and why he had to use adult websites to find people who would look up at him adoringly. They will find whatever ‘reason’ they can to justify their debauched behavior. If it wasn’t that, it would have been another (you spent too much time folding laundry). Who the F cares what they say anymore? No point talking reason to the disordered.

            • Yep, they will use any excuse to justify their cheating. My STBX told me I looked at houses (because I thought we were going to buy a bigger house) and cars (I just like to look) on the internet to much so he had to find someone who understood him better (his employee who is 15 years younger than him). Evidently his porn habit made him desire a more kinky woman, so he decided since I like to window shop online, it meant I was materialistic. Cheaters will twist everything around to their benefit, to appease their guilt and justify their actions.

              • Amen to all of it. Asshat can come up with lots of reasons why he did it. The story changes and I can’t even argue back anymore bc i am sick of listening to him so I do a lot of vaguely confused staring. I can use the excuse that I’m woozy from not eating or sleeping for heaven knows how long. Just paid a bill and the company owner told me she was seeing him tomorrow and gushed a little about him. I almost vomited on the office floor. Why oh why can’t the entire fucking town just know he sucks?

              • Ah you know what really happened, he just forgot he was a married man and fell and went after the skank at work!!! It had nothing to do with me. That’s the real truth!

              • Oh but you are being so mean! i’m sure she isn’t a skank. She’s probably had a hard life and she is so underappreciated and smart. She isn’t a scheming, predatory, opportunistic, delusional, aggressive beeyotch. You should be friends with her, you would really like her! ;O

                I hope Asshat gets swept away in a firenado for cheating, ruining our family and for condescending to say shit like that to me!

              • “My personal preference is for them all to spontaneously combust.”

                That is hysterical, Tempest. Thanks for the laugh.

    • So funny! I once saw a site ‘black planet” on x’s computer. I thought it was a National Geographic thing.

      • LOL Chumpish…I just found out last week that my stbx also has an account on “black planet”…I had NO idea what that even was. Seriously, at this point, I would be more surprised now if he wasn’t signed up for any site that involves cheating and screwing around.

        I can’t WAIT for the results of the forensic detectives report that will show just how “special” he truly is. And I have no doubt that he’s right there among the other cheating scum on AM. Just from my limited ability to search, I’ve found that he’s signed up for pretty much all the cheating apps…. he’s especially fond of Instabang, Instaf*ck, Instahookup, InstaAffair, etc…basically anything for “insta” gratification in his little fantasy world. My only decision will be what I will do with all the information once I get it. I told him we’ll just have a freaking slide show at the court trial. I’ll bring the popcorn …he can bring the TUMS.

  • Hi, I’m new.

    My stbxh used Ashley Madison. He met several women on there over the course of three years. So glad I’ve already separated our bank accounts before someone decided to use his credit card info to go on a shopping spree.

    One thing that does annoy me is when reading articles about AM is that so many people say that all the women on Ashley Madison are fake and that no one ever meets anyone on there. It’s not true at all. There’s plenty of opportunity to cheat if that’s one’s goal. I was the one that actually brought the site’s existence up to my stbxh when I saw an add for it online. We laughed about it, like what a ridiculous site. Who knew he would actually go on there and use it’s services.

    • Happens often, Calla2015. Several of us told our cheater about an interesting (useful/shocking/…) website, that slowly led us to D-Day and the misery that comes with it.

      In my case, it was a site to learn foreign languages, that offers free modules for the basics, and eventually lets you chat with real people to acquire the subtleties of the language… or a whole new vocabulary that no decent site would teach ! The woman he met to chat, was interested in having a house on the French Riviera, a visa and a Visa. She probably learnt a very effective Kama Sutra from the Internet too, because soon enough, he was meeting her abroad, and he fell head over heels in twu luw despite her plain appearance and lack of scruples.

      Yeah, women don’t use Ashley Madison… right… it’s goats in disguise

    • My ex found his soulmate on AM. Her stupid coworkers told her to get on the site. I still find that appalling. I am so happy he is gone. He turned out to be nothing but a serial cheating narcissist.

      • Joanne, it always cracks me up when these cheaters talk about finding their “soulmate” or the even better, “following their hearts.” Yeah, right! That would, IMHO, require actually having a soul and a heart and most of these cheaters own any of those! They do however have over active sex glands, so I guess that counts for the lack of the missing parts! Pfffft! Soul mates my ass!

        • Yeah Roberta, they (cheaters) are the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion & The Scarecrow looking for the heart, brain and courage they will never have! Cowardly heartless fools. Dorothy is our Chump, loving and caring for them, wanting to wake up from a bad dream and go home. No place like Home.
          On the Ashley Madison front, amazing how they attempt to deflect all dishonesty on to those who have hacked them, and take no responsibility for being the deadbeat cheater-losers they are and what exactly they are all about.

  • Apparently my ex used Adult Friend Finder, and there is a new PI company that alleges to give you a report if the e-mail you query is associated with an AFF account.

    This is where I found out about the ex, and where you can do your own search for free here:

    To be clear, this isn’t how I found out about the exit affair; he just came out with it when I pressed him about why he didn’t want to have a little naked fun with me one night about 4 years ago. Many of you know the feeling of a proverbial bomb going off in the family home. He was proud of himself and fairly forthcoming with many, many details, which I wanted to know, about the Love Of His Life. Interestingly, the AFF account had never been mentioned; I just found out about it last week–much to my amusement, honestly.

    But what I’m super curious about is when the account was opened (before her, after her?) and how often it was accessed, and what my ex’s stated marital status and sexual preference is/was.


    Apparently that info is also posted on the dark web. (So not going there.)

    OTOH, he’s not my problem any more, so my curiosity is more prurient than anything.

    Truly, it doesn’t matter. Except that it blows away the BS that OW was some sort of divine destiny in xH’s life, you know, what’s the cliche? Bigger Than All Of Us, or whatever? Meant To Be?

    Pppppt!! Stone. Cold. Cheater. (And liar and idiot.)

    • so I found my stbx’s e-mail on haveibeenpwned, but I don’t know exactly what that means — there are sites listed there that have been compromised but aren’t anything to do with cheating. Can’t get the ashleymadisonleaked site to load,

      • try–it has emails from both AM and Adult Friend Finder. My X was on there. Loser.

        • Well, she’s not on there, at least not with any e-mail address I know. But my e-mail address is. WTF?

      • ANR, it means your cheater is on AM. I believe in the chaos of setting up these sites they meant to say, “haveibeenowned”! They hit the “p” instead of the “o”.

        • Well the origin was a spelling mistake, but “pwned” has been around a while:

          “A corruption of the word “Owned.” This originated in an online game called Warcraft, where a map designer misspelled “owned.” When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so “has been owned.”

          Instead, it said, so-and-so “has been pwned.”

          It basically means “to own” or to be dominated by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force.”

          Anyhow, I guess it doesn’t matter — not like I don’t know she’s a cheater

          • Thanks for the explanation ANR. I’m not a “gamer” so I didn’t know! Guess I’m getting older, but not smarter! What do you expect from a Grandma of eleven?? I checked that site with all the known emails of my Ex and it didn’t find him, but he could have some emails I knew nothing about, it really doesn’t matter anyways because I KNOW he’s a cheater and that’s why he’s now my EX! Besides, he’s a cheap bastard, he prefers chatting up stupid hardup HO’S on FaceBook! He lives off of one of them now! I wish her luck, she’s gonna need it!

  • Personally I find it very funny. After all secrecy is the hallmark of cheating…..don’t feel sorry for the cheaters ..only the wives and husbands attached to their credit cards and information. Narcula actually blanched when I told him about the ‘breach of secrecy’ at AM. He is so busted.

  • Ditto DQ. I hope the innocent aren’t effected, and I don’t believe in theft, so the credit card part is wrong. Gone too far. But name and shame cheaters? Wow, bring that on !! Sounds like the Karma bullet train is on the way! Divorce lawyers will have a field day.

  • I think it’s only a matter of days before we have a new Mayflower Madam/Hollywood Madam-type scandal on our hands. How many celebrities and politicians are on that list? Doctors? Lawyers? Church leaders?

    I just feel for all the chumps out there who are going to have their private life exposed in a big way. 🙁

    Oh, what a tangled web cheaters weave…

    • Well, creepy dough-faced Josh Duggar has been found to have two paid Ashley Nadison accounts and spent nearly $1000 over 2 years on this crap. Check it out, you won’t believe the info it gives. Puts a new spin on the term “bible bangin”???.

      I do feel awful for Anna, but I’d bet money she’ll be the perfect Fireproof spouse that stands by her man…it’s just so sad and depressing. It would be so amazing if she surprises everyone and ditches his ass and joins Chump Nation! I’d love to hear what really goes on behind the scenes in that family.

          • For some reason I’m not shocked that he is on there. One of the many sickos in that so called holy than thou family. Every single one of them gives me the creeps.

            Tempest, love your term “bible bangin” ha!

          • Anyone besides me think it’s rather ‘coincidental’ that Duggar’s account on AM came to its demise in May of 2015?

            In May of 2015, he stepped down from his position at the Family Research Council.

            Aww, poor Joshie. Sorry Bud, that didn’t save your ass from being found out. CREEP

  • I’m pretty sure the “DARK WEB” is where I’ve been living since D-day. About every 2 weeks another lie my ex told comes to the light. Then it’s an inner battle between i wasn’t crazy or am I crazy or he has to be crazy. It’s only fitting for those names to end up there. Wish I could look at the names….

    • You’re not crazy. Cheaters just want you to feel that way so you’ll stop questioning their lies. Don’t stop. If something doesn’t quite add up, your cheater is probably lying. Keep reading CL and go through the archives; it will save your sanity!

    • My thoughts exactly debdechis. Like falling into a dark hole, feels like it will never end. The X is a master gaslighter, too, so I questioned my sanity like many chumps here. My first time here with CL I read a chump’s comment that included “I thought I was going crazy.” I was so relieved, I wasn’t the only one. That darkness is awful, but I can come here and in minutes not only feel lighter, but laugh hysterically.

  • I couldn’t open the Tor browser. If anyone hears of a different place to view the list, please share!
    I understand the risks of downloading Tor but still couldn’t get it to open,
    Hopefully some other group will share the names at least.
    Be funny to see if the ex cheated on the OW!

  • Ugh. I hate cheaters. Hopefully they had enough sense to get a secret email and credit card if they used AM. I had used my debit and credit card at Target a few years ago when they had their security breach. Both companies closed those accounts and reissued.

  • Technically what the hackers did is illegal but in this case I don’t think anyone is going to care. Well….nasty scum bag cheaters will care but who gives a shit what they think. They deserve every bad thing that could happen to them as a result of this. The very fact that a site like this exists says a whole hell of a lot about what kind of society we have become. If great floods, famine, or disease come along and wipe out humanity it wouldn’t surprise me a bit. Humanity might just deserve that fate at this point. I wish people that still believed in morals and standards could have more inspiration over the future direction of society but they can’t. Living a corrupt life fully of shady’ness is easier and more fun to these scum bags.

  • Evening news reports here in my part of the world seem more concerned about the (lack of) morals of the hackers, someone could be driven to suicide if the info gets out and that is unfair on the families etc. Where was the motive, families and people’s lives could be ruined here……….!!!! I think that is somewhat ironic, although I would not want anyone to be driven to suicide of course.

    That reminds me, my XH in one of his frequency exit meltdowns blubbed ” I feel like [email protected] for what I have done to you (big sobs ….then dramatic collapsing) he would then pipe up “I am okay………..I am not suicidal” and then would grin when I tried to comfort him. Self preservation – he never felt ‘that bad’

    • Sorry you had to go through that, it’s so upsetting, to normal people. That’s just how devious I’m-smarter-than-you tricksters act, when they are faced with consequences of their OWN actions! It sounds so familiar to me. Now, the X (who sometimes sends me a ‘let’s get back together’ text, is on to the re-writing history phase, where I made mistakes, and he made them, and can’t we just forget all that? No, dude, not after what you did. I told him – Trust is gone. No more relationship for you!
      And besides, I found out there’s a whole new world out here, away from a serial cheater! People are good! And there’s fun things to do, when you aren’t catering to a creepy person! Time to do what I want now.

      • …and now I hear former chumps and CL singing to those just going through D-day and unsure of what to do.

        I can show you the world
        Shining, shimmering, splendid
        Tell me, chump, now when did
        You last let your heart decide?
        I can open your eyes
        Take you wonder by wonder

    • Digbert,

      My cheater did the same. Acted out the sorrow, got suicidal a number of times until I comforted her and let her know I would give reconciliation a shot, and then with in a few days, back to the status quo of selfishness and manipulation (although the affair was long since over).

      I know for a fact she was not truly sorry and she felt justified in having the affair, and any sorrow she felt for my devastation paled in comparison to her quest for true love outside the marriage.

  • According to the linked source, and several other news stories I read this morning, the credit card information is not included in the data dump. The info has only the last 4 digits, or (in many cases) a four-digit transaction number from AM. So, we can rest easy about credit card breaches, and just revel in the fact that 37 million cheaters are sweating.

    • I would think anybody that ever had an AM account would consider calling their credit card company, canceling their card, and having them issue a new card. Credit card crisis solved! Now, as for that pesky profile information…

      IF the cheater list goes public the only people I’ll feel bad for are the newly minted chumps… knowing that for many of them, their lives will be forever changed. I remember the days following Dday… the mind games, disorientation, trying to make sense of it all, and spackeling because it was too big a jump for me to believe stbx had been cheating for most of our 30 year marriage. The timing of CL’s book couldn’t be better.

  • I feel if you are going to cheat then you had better be ready to face any consequences associated with your choice. Isn’t that the biggest problem with these cheaters? They are so deep into entitlement that they feel they shouldn’t HAVE to deal with the fallout! If I were to choose to rob a bank, I would have to think about getting caught and serving time, being subject to public humiliation and scrutiny, judgement by friends, family and strangers, etc! Cheaters must be brain dead to believe that somehow, someway the truth won’t come to light! I don’t feel sorry for Ashley Madison or its CEO. And nothing is richer than him expounding on how wrong it is for these people to do this to AM! Awe, come on…..don’t be so judgeeee! What an idiot!!!

    • “Cheaters must be brain dead to believe that somehow, someway the truth won’t come to light! ”

      Yeah, I’ll never really understand how they process this internally.

  • Noel is a business man… He is about’ bottom line’ not ethics. He capitalized on cheating. Funny how its ok for Noel’s company to encourage, defend and support cheating…. But Noel is not so happy that he got cheated!!!! Funny how that shit works.

  • I used Tor quite a bit back in the day, just remember if you torrent you may not be anonymous. Read the warnings if you intend to grab that data. I have no doubt someone will post it in a searchable database fairly soon.

    It’s hilarious, Saddam joined AM immediately after moving into his girlfriends house…so no, they don’t change for their “soul mate”…

  • Clip, I totally agree! He is in business to earn money. I have no problem with capitalism, but bottom line here is his company lied( big shock!) to its customers about the deletion and security of the information they had. That’s his problem. There is always talk on CN about character, but along with that virtue people don’t consider integrity. I think the two go hand in hand. If a person is capable of lying to your face then do you really believe they are going to deal honestly when nobody is watching? Goes without saying that AM and the cheaters are like twins. All that “good virtue” and morality crap only applies to other people. When it comes to these folks applying these virtues, the rules are just a bit more flexible in their world!


    Someone created a searchable database for the leaked data. As for my reaction, I find it hilarious. It’s like when I found out about my ex and his AF…once you turn the lights on the roaches run and scatter and scream…

    • Just went to that website… crashed. Lots of people want to know if their schmuck is there.

      • Too funny! I will have to wait until I get home tonight to do a search. I could really give a shit if dumbass was on there or not – I just want to make sure OTHER PEOPLE know he was 🙂

        • Just to clarify: They released some of the data, but not all of the data, correct? So just because someone isn’t in this data dump, doesn’t mean they weren’t on AM.

        • LMAO, I agree, LadyStrange. At this point Asshat could have been screwing the entire town and all I really want is for people to know the truth about him. And I wouldn’t be sad if word also got out about his broken plumbing.

  • I just have to giggle at the irony in a news article I just read on this data dump. AM says they believe the hackers did this to ” impose a personal notion of virtue on all of society.” (GASP!) but when they asked the Errata Security Chief Executive Rob Graham what the motive may be, he said, “in all probability their motivation is #1 it’s fun, and #2 because they can.” Now I don’t know about any of you chumps, but those two reasons can be applied to cheating as well as hacking. So if we apply the other reasoning for cheating to hacking, then could it be also claimed that “it just happened” and “it was meant to be” and “they really are sorry for their mistake”! LMAO!

  • From wired: “some 15,000 are .mil. or .gov addresses. “.

    They used their work email?

    • Yay! Should open a few job openings for chumps. Beyond .gov & .mil. there’s the .edu and .org. Then there are a lot of companies that will can employees for using work email for private business.

      I’m sure this kind of information will find its way into background checks. Some places won’t care, but it’ll be a strike against applicants in others — sort of like posting drunk selfies on FB.

  • I JUST saw this on the news and so glad you addressed it Chump Lady. I wish I could access that data to see if my STBX is among the resident cheaters.

    They deserve it, every single one of them. From Noel Biderman on down.


    • I am glad full credit card numbers were not released so, yeah, bring it on! Except a chump pointed out in the forums that there are chump accounts that were created to hunt for their cheaters. So I do feel bad about that. I mused that cheaters might try using that as their excuse to have their own accounts. You know to catch us chumps since we are so untrustworthy….

  • One email in the data dump, for example, appears to belong to former UK Prime Minister (Tony Blair).

  • Time Heals, I am not shocked at all that these cheaters used their work computers for “extracurriculars”! My Ex used his entire work day and his employers computer network to “play” with Schmoopie all day long! It was like watching him go off to Junior High School again every morning. He could hardly wait to go be with his “besties” and get away from that mean old “mommy” at home who expected him to act like an educated 60 year old! I lived in fear that his employer would get ahold of this activity and fire him! He thought he was slick! This is why I suggest chumps file ASAP and run! You have no idea what these cheaters are actually doing at work and you don’t need federal agents at the door or to be the Top Story On the local news! Get out while you can still get awarded assets and alimony, before they lose that too!

  • I feel really bad for all the chumps whose financial safety and own personal privacy will be compromised as a result of this hack.

    I also don’t believe in vigilante justice. Nobody has the right to take the law into their own hands.

    • “as a result of this hack” or as the result of one person in the family, without consent from one’s spouse, voluntarily placing family confidential information at risk?

      But yeah, I concur about the potential impact on chumps, and I too don’t believe in vigilante justice.

      • Of course the cheater is to blame for being on AM in the first place. But hackers are potentially making a bad situation much worse.

        • I humbly disagree that this is vigilante justice. A personal crime was committed against me. A website is available to show where the crime took place. He isn’t going to jail or serve time. The only thing that has happened is his dastardly deeds against me have been revealed.

          The sun is shining where he thought he was cloaked in darkness to hide the crime committed against, what I was led to believe, our exclusive commitment. The crime that stole from my life, time, finances and relationship with others.

          FUck himmMMmm…..

          BoOOOO HOOooooo

          • I’m with you CalamityJane. To me the biggest wrong is a spouse signing up with AM, and in doing so stealing from his or her spouse and children, both in time, sunk costs, false promises, and also by wasting family assets to pay for it; and by risking the family’s security and safety by putting such personal Information on such a site. Every time I purchase from Amazon, Target, or QVC, or do my online banking, am aware that my information could be hacked. But these cheaters are the ones to cry most loudly, demand the most pity, and supposedly deserve the most help to avoid the consequence of what we all know can and does happen on the internet? We are all supposed to worry that the cheaters will “off” themselves in a fit of despair if they are exposed before they can find their true “soulmate” and abandon their families according to their own timetables? Lord help us……..

            • “We are all supposed to worry that the cheaters will “off” themselves in a fit of despair if they are exposed before they can find their true “soulmate” and abandon their families according to their own timetables?”

              Emotional blackmail…

              Cheater’s handbook Chapter 7

  • And this… eve Polygamists cheat:

    The official Knesset e-mail address of Joint List MK Taleb Abu Arar, a bigamist, was found to have registered for Ashley Madison, a dating website for people who want to cheat on their spouses, when hackers released about 36 million members’ e-mail addresses.

    According to the hack, Abu Arar not only registered for the infidelity site, he confirmed his e-mail address. That extra step is not necessary in order to join Ashley Madison, but the hack indicates that 24 million of the e-mail addresses released were confirmed.

  • I’ll be honest, most people that aren’t either cheating or involved with a cheater give a rat’s ass about Ashley Madison so the impact probably isn’t as big as you think. I guess my name is in there due to the Fake profile I set up but I doubt anyone I know is gonna think “I better check to see if Not Juliet has a profile.”

    • For my field research I too joined and met up with approx 20 “johns” I now have enough notes and photos anon to write my own book. When I was in the thick of deviants crazy making, I deeply needed to sit across other deviants and hear … REALLY LISTEN to their story. Guess what ???? They all melded into the one “John” no diff nothin mysterious, nothin my crazy mind had believed in my most manipulated days with cheater… NOTHIN but sleaze, emptiness, evil …. The many Gollums of Ashley Maddison and Gleeden.

  • It just illustrates the usual cheater arrogance – they are too special and shiny to get caught (in their tiny minds). Reminds me of the old advice never to publish or share information you wouldn’t want read in front of your granny at church……..

  • My reaction is ‘meh’ and….. people, please stop believing the hype that on-line dating is a 100% proven way to find your soul mate and true love.

    I think society is pretty naive to believe that married cheaters are only on AM. Or that AM is a gold standard of anything. The truth is that cheaters are on regular dating sites and are likely on multiple sites.

    My EX was on a popular regular dating site at the time. I discovered it the usual way1) his credit card bill and 2) his emails. His excuse was that he had posted it for his newly divorced best friend. I was at my spackling best back then.

    On-line dating is big business. And, it is only as good as we believe it to be.

    In my singledom, I have tried on-line dating and its no cake walk: fake profiles, stale profiles, scammers from Nigeria, scammers from other countries, married (some openly), coupled but wanting out, etc. I requested that ‘Match’ remove my profile after I was getting approached by a lot of scammers. Their response was that it’s not their policy to remove profiles before the membership has expired.

    The cynic in me, says this will make the AM business even stronger. Go figure.

  • I’m not going to bother looking for the list. My computer will probably end up with a virus anyway. Fortunately I didn’t get one from my wife, so I’m not going to push my luck.

    • “I’m not going to bother looking for the list. My computer will probably end up with a virus anyway. Fortunately I didn’t get one from my wife…” LoLost!

  • A cautionary note–some (though probably very few) of the names on that list could be innocent. My X started an Adult Friend Finder account for me years ago, without my approval*,and posted a picture of me in lingerie (that had been taken for his own private use). Why? Because the sex-addled jackass was titillated by the thought that I could be talked into having sex with another man while he watched. I shut down that nonsense pretty quickly once I found out, but I know other members of CN have sicko Xs who wanted their chumps to have sex with others, and it’s not a far cry to think some of them created accounts for their chumps behind the chump’s back.

    • *shudder*

      I also have this nagging fear that Florence, in one of her many moments of clarity, created a fake account in my name. It would make no sense but, then again, neither does stalking me.

      • Flwhorence has some serious issues, probably exacerbated by her twu wuv (your H) not being able to complete the act due to plumbing issues.

        • That’s what the Viagrialis cocktail is for! His stash is gone so I guess they must have had lots of fun bc I sure wasn’t ;O

    • First person I checked was his, Tempest. Then mine. Damn right they could use you. Nothing new there.

      Woodeye was swearing it was only massage prostitutes and nothing else for one year and a half after I threw his sorry ass out. I knew better, but nothing like a little confirmation to shore up what I already know.

        • No. If he did, I think you would have to lock me up and sedate me until I came to my senses.

      • Just checked–Hannibal Lecher is on the list, too!! (though it includes AM and Adult Friend Finder addresses)

  • When you profit off of the pain of others, you deserve everything that is coming your way.

    What? What’s that you say, Noel…..? You TRUSTED your employees and your security guys to protect your profits?!

    There is that darned concept again. TRUST. The men and women in relationships with these douchebags trusted the douchebags as well. Sucks when the standard that applies only to you is afforded to everyone, eh?

    Over on zerohedge you can find the direct link to the torrent. I have already downloaded it.

    The thing that is so ironic is that Biderman and his posse are saying that the hacktivists did this for fun, and because they can.

    Isnt that exactly what Trashley Madison, et al lure the initiated in with? Life is short, have an affair…..because its fun….because you can.

    Damn I love the Karma Bus.

    • There is also a very interesting comment by MiffedMicrobiologist (who is a woman) over at ZH….she said that false positives or mistaken STD results are an infraction so serious in her lab that it can preclude you from ever working again. Why? Even with corrected results or clarification/retraction, marriages are destroyed over it.

      So those here saying that “nothing will come of it”…I think that is completely misguided. The seeds of doubt have been planted in the spouse’s head, in the head of friends and family, in those of colleagues/bosses and potential employers.

      Doubt can destroy lives, careers and relationships. Proof doesnt need to be there. Human nature doesnt work that way.

      That information is now out there. FOREVER. Scrubbing the internet does not exist in any form, no matter what anybody tells you. That same dark web also has urls that save your webblog even if you take it down.

      Anybody who thinks its funny or interesting to go and sign up for these things out of curiosity or revenge…you need to understand that not everybody is your friend. If you have made absolutely no enemies in your life, and everybody who has ever met you is just in love with you….i think you will be okay. I for one am a realist. I do not want my kids to EVER look up my name on the internet and find something like this attached to it….let alone my boss or that bitch down the cubicle row who has hated me for years.

      Word to the wise.

  • Good point Tempest! And again it confirms the fact that as soon as you know your spouse/SO is cheating, you should take every action to protect yourself because you just have no idea what else they are up to.

  • Noel B. gets all that is coming to him. And the cheaters, too. And I hope some chumps find the evidence they need to have the courage to leave.

    Also, I hope it makes people think twice about using these slimy, creepy websites/apps for hookups.

  • I guarantee my ex won’t be on there cause he’s too damn cheap. Free crotch all the way, baby !

  • I honestly don’t know why these creeps pay for a service to “hook up”. My cheater and his Schmoopie just used FaceBook! Looked to me like Schmoopie found all her “hook ups” on FB. My idiot EX was just the perfect sucker for her. I’ve no doubt she is or will be back at it on FaceBook again!

  • I don’t understand the “dark web” or even know what it is, and the AM site has not been part of my experience. I’m all for exposing cheaters but shouldn’t we all worry more about these hackers and what info they can find on us? As in credit card numbers etc.? That’s my biggest fear.

    Also, it is entirely within the realm of possibility that people have registered on AM using the email addresses of completely innocent and unaware friends or family members.

    This whole thing makes me really uncomfortable.

  • You know what? Karma visits the deserving in myriad ways. As Gus McCrae said to his friend Jake Spoon right before hanging him “You know how it works Jake, you ride with an outlaw, you die with an outlaw. I’m sorry you crossed the line.”

    As far as I’m concerned – if you put your personal information and credit cards on a website dedicated to cheating on your spouse/family, then you deserve to be electronically “hung.” I’m sorry they crossed the line.

    • Char, I agree. However, I use my cards on line for a lot of things and what concerns me is the ease with which someone can find my information. That was my point.

  • Well this is really great news. Yes, it is sad for the faithful spouses and the kids. My heart goes out to every single one of them. I was just reading that some MP from Scotland has HER name on it.

    Now for the owner of the site. I can care less what he “thinks” about this. Also his wife that supports all of this also. People have really lost their minds or I guess the owner of the site and his wife are just as disorder ftards like the users of these types of sites.

    I don’t think the ex will be on there because his type of playground with finding his Schmoopies was work. Then again really nothing surprises me when it comes to him and his disordered ways.

    I do admit I would LOVE to know if he is on there. Does anyone know if there is a site that has this information on it?

    Also I’m thinking Chump Lady and Chump Nation can be expecting some new members in the next few days and/or weeks. Oh can recall the pain in full detail what they will be having to deal with. My heart goes out to every single one.

    • I was thinking the same Beth, CL will probably have an influx of new chumps sadly, but better here than what else is out there for support. 🙁

  • Moral judge and juror? Do these people hear themselves? Here they are, imposing their own brand of morality, or should I say immorality, on unsuspecting spouses and now they have their own accusations. If there is no objective morality then how is AM able to make such a statement? It proves that they are not able to live by their own twisted principal and that, when it suits them, believe in some sort of morality. They can say all the BS they want but this prove they can’t live it out. How self-incriminating their own statement is.

    Hey AM, who are you to say that it was wrong what these hackers did? You’ve just appointed yourselves the moral judge and juror. Congratulations! You’ve just failed your own BS.

  • I personally think it’s fantastic and wonderful! Good. It’s about time – As far as AM is concerned, your right CL – blame shifting. Scrubbed data nevermind that look at the shiny light… GAWD….

  • I’m revealing my naivety here, but how would anyone know who the actual people are in the hacked data? I’m assuming that AM members used profile names, not their own, so wouldn’t the hacked data be stuff like “DertyGuy67” or some such? So how would anyone know who DertyGuy really is?

    • Glad it’s over, you have to supply your real name to sign up. Plus men have to give credit card info.

  • And here I thought the “dark internet” was only a plot point on House of Cards!

    How ironic that all these cheater’s lies are about to implode on them, not unlike when a house of cards falls apart!

  • Hey, Noel? Why don’t you get a dictionary and look up the word “virtue”? No opinion about it. And while you’re flipping the pages, look up “fuckface”. Your photo is right next to THAT definition.

    • Ugh, that Jared story is so disgusting. Hope he gains all his weight back too. At least his wife is divorcing him. Creep.

      • His first wife was the sweet girl in all those documentaries who was with him in the early days. i agree, this whole story is just disgusting.

  • “Impose their notion of virtue” hmmm. Im tripping on that line. Could cheating possible be an alternative virtue? I thought virtues are pretty cut and dried. Pretty well defined and explained. I do understand that I don’t possess or live up to every virtue, but I know for example that honesty is a virtue, even as I’m telling a lie. The world of cheaters is so freaking delusional, and boundaries are just a moving target.

  • Truth is a wonderful thing. I am a big fan of the truth. Please let me know when there is a searchable database. People who would lie to their spouses would also lie to their constituencies and should not be in elected office

  • Who is posting as JJ on this thread?? I’ve been using this name for over a year now.

    FYI, the leak is real. I joined 2 years ago to see what all the fuss was about, it was so disgusting, I couldn’t believe how many guys were on in my area, which isn’t a hugely populated city by the way. Uggh..

    Anyway, I found this link,,…

    and searched a few of my email addresses, and the one I had used to register and then removed, has been leaked. How funny!

    • I put in an email of a friend’s husband (she has known that her husband has sent inappropriate emails to women, but doesn’t think he has cheated), and it turned up as being in AM. Do I tell her? They just last week decided to divorce.

      • I would tell her. It might help in the divorce, and it works definitely help her trust that he sucks. And truthfully to me, stuff like trolling the internet for strange is much creepier than trolling co workers, neighbors, etc. That’s just me. Prostitutes, Craigslist, dating sites, etc. I would be much more pissed.

    • LadyStrange beat me to it. Here is the message on that site now:

      ” 🙁
      I created this site as I believed that users should have the right to know if their email and data was compromised. Unfortunately I received a takedown notice so I will be shutting down this site, sorry for the inconvenience.

      See About for contact info, I will not answer requests about the data or checking emails.”

  • “and a whole lot of “Dick Picks” for the gals to ooogle”. Oh my god.

    I could do with a good laugh about now !! 🙂

  • OMG–Local news just came on. First story was the Ashley Madison debacle. Newscaster said that AM claims that the city in which I live (San Antonio, Texas) has the second most registered members. Well, I have no reason to refute that. I am on several dating sites and I am sure I am frequently contacted by cheaters. My red flag register is fine tuned, no worries there.

    News had one of our highest powered divorce lawyers on. She has been fielding calls from panicked AM members all day long. LOL

    • After the shitty treatment everyone in here got from these people, I like to think of them squirming, actually. My ex and the whore were so arrogant and disgusting I about hurl to think of it.

  • That was kind HH, ppl get attached to their names. Jedi hug if you need any!

  • Fellow chumps, please be clear, stealing this data was a crime, possessing this data is a crime. Don’t download it.

    it is possible that the authorities are monitoring the torrent and if they can track down who downloads it, then you could be prosecuted. Never forget, the data came from a hack, possessing the data is illegal.

    if it’s a binary file there is a HIGH likelihood there will be zero day exploits hidden in the file, you could end up with your computer hacked when you open the file leading to someone stealing your passwords right from your computer.

    I have no doubt someone will post the data in a searchable database fairly soon anyway, once it fully in the public domain it’s less of an issue to look at it. My advice to you is not to try and grab it until or unless it is fully in the public domain, it probably will never be.

  • Someone up above posted this earlier, it would be great if some chumps were willing to submit their anonymous story. The cheaters are more that willing to romanticize their shit, would be good if the BBC heard the other side of the story. Check it out:

  • There is a website you can go to that will show if their e-mail was on the list. It lets AM users know that their info was compromised:

    Where there is smoke….

    Whaddaya know…my sweet little Woodeye was there….

    • I know Saddam was on it but have no idea which of his many email accounts he used so it’s not coming up. Trust that they suck, don’t worry about this bit of extra info

      • I agree Dat. Trust that they suck.

        My son helped me with this. Now, he trusts that he sucks.

  • Hey this is GREAT! Checked my STBXH and his email address checked out as being compromised because of the Ashley data dump! So, I’m pretty sure he got into this during false reconciliation. This doesn’t surprise me- I found some e-mails on other cheater websites where he was communicating with Ho’s. So…1) just did a screen print and I am holding onto this for my refiling of the divorce action. Woot! Woot! 2) Will now be getting an STD check update as he already gave me Herpes 15 years ago… I will be free of him and I don’t BELIEVE he gave me AIDS so it is actually a good day.

    IMO, Hey for all of us here at CN, I would love President Obama to award the hackers the Congressional Medal of Honor. 🙂

  • Twitter is posting names of cheaters in my state. There is a certain high profile Congress person whose name I hope appears.

  • You heard it here first folks. Josh Duggar has been found on Ashley Madison… once a perv always a perv.

    • Apparently Josh Dugger had two accounts and spent over $1,000.00 maintaining them! Wow! Just wow! That poor girl he’s married to has to go through this crap now! I, personally, would leave this asshole hypocrite!

      • Do you think that we should send her chumplady’s website. Truly it would an act of kindness. I wonder if papa santimonious is on there as well?

        • Well with her latest reply with him molesting his sisters and some other very young girls I’m am 100% sure she will spackle the hell out of this one also. From what I can tell she is lost in the Dugger’s cult mind of thinking. Also she could also be dealing with mental disorder also. Then again maybe she is thinking all of the money she will lose in this mess. Something isn’t right about her also.

  • I searched one of my exh’s email accounts and it was found. I searched just because I wanted to know. My exh had secret email accounts. I found this particular account on an email from one of his OW. I couldn’t even keep track of all of his accounts. He knew how to hide, yet even so, he was still exposed.

    • Are you telling your X? I found mine on there, too and am debating about telling him (mostly for “I knew it, fucker!” reasons).

      • I’ve been thinking about it, Tempest. I would do so for the same reason you listed. But, I already know what he is. I certainly wasn’t surprised I found one of his numerous accounts there. Good grief, the time and energy he devoted to seeking out OW is astonishing. It really is.

      • I did Tempest. I just couldn’t resist showing him his fifteen minutes of fame…..

      • Too bad you can’t just tell the Provost! So sorry, Tempest. It’s been a week of blows for you. Hang in there. You are MIGHTY AS HELL

        • Thanks, FMT. I’m actually enjoying a bit of schadenfreude right now. X is still lying that he only had a single 3-week affair (both untrue–multiple affairs, several month affair with grad-whore). Should any of our mutual friends doubt he was a serial cheater, I can steer them to the AM/AFF dump. And great ammunition, since the university will probably not be happy that he used a U-account and U-computer for his extracurriculars (should I ever desire to tell them).

          • Using a work computer and email address is pretty brazen and downright stupid! Is it really that they think they just won’t get caught? I put off requesting the audit of my medical record for a few days bc I kept thinking it would be a waste of time. Surely, noone could be that dumb. But two weeks later and I have not gotten the all clear phone call which then should mean they are investigating something.

            Now that the whole world knows this data is floating around, couldn’t you send an anonymous message to the university about it? The story you posted the other day was awful. Surely, they would want to avoid something similar.

            • I need to get my oldest through out-of-state tuition/university, then I’ll be happy ratting him out (my salary isn’t going to cover o-o-state tuition).

              • It’s always good to have something to look forward to 😉

                Anyway, I thought the big people just move on and they mutually agree it’s for the best without actually revealing the horrible bits. Wouldn’t he be able to just go to another institution? It is what I imagine would happen if they ever decided to can Asshat.

  • A little advice about that dark web.
    Try going there without the appropriate protection and you’ll quickly find yourself on a few government watch lists.
    You can find anything there, hitmen, illegal porn of all kinds imaginable, red rooms and probably stuff I can’t even think of. There’s no reason CN would want to go there.

  • My daughter has been getting slammed with messages from her girlfriends crying that they have found out their husbands are on that AM site! Gonna be a long night folks!

      • Two guys in my office are crapping their pants…

        Of course the family of the fuckers are the real victims.

        • Wait until the more-accessible list is published; apparently the hackers obtained the actual messages that people sent to other cheaters. When that is published, there may be a bloodbath.

          • O.M.G. This could start some sort of war. The actual messages?! I wonder if the AM site tells users those messages are truly confidential and secure. Ha.

            • Holy Crap Tempest! So far my daughter reports that these friends of hers that have confronted their husbands report that their loving husbands just signed up because they were curious or it was just a joke and the guys were just daring each other…..blah, blah,blah. If they actually hacked some chats between these cheaters and their “holes” then the shit will really hit the fan! Makes me actually happy to be single now!! No regrets!!!!

      • And I agree Tempest, these young ladies are better off discovering they have been betrayed now rather than finding out ten or twenty years down the road! These guys won’t ever change and now is the time to dump THEM! Gives the faithful spouse a chance to find someone who will love and respect them the way they deserve!

  • lists two search engines that let you find if your spouse or SO’s email was leaked, and Trustify. It’s kind of annoying/disturbing that all these news blogs are using “How to Find…” as click bait to tell you not to look, and I wonder how many publications’ employees have something to hide. ‘What if someone suicides or murders over this?’ they say ‘What if lives are otherwise ruined?’ Ethically speaking, the greater good theory would have the world living in ignorant bliss, the status quo protected. My ethics rest in a higher truth that will release many from unjust suffering. I personally don’t think enough information was released. 1) Anyone who used a throwaway email will be safe. 2) the people who don’t want to to know won’t bother looking. 3) The same tactics cheaters use to any other evidence when caught red-handed will be employed here, on the rare off chance they are outed. Anyone who is looking is ready to know the truth. Many of the relationships where splitting up can’t happen will survive revelations- after all, infidelity was the norm for hundreds of years before the Pill. This mass exposure is for the people desperate for a foothold in reality. It’s really a gift.

  • I am pretty sure the majority of people looking are the ones who already know they are with a cheater or have suspicion.

    All that is happening is the truth is being revealed. The truth of who you are with. Always very painful to anyone when dishonesty is involved.

    I am also sure there are those who don’t want to know and those who confirmed their wonder and will continue on with their current life.

    The rock has been lifted and the cock roaches are scattering….

  • Why isn’t anyone worrying that once a chump finds out the deceit we will commit suicide? Who worries about our lives and families being destroyed? Our lives wasted by a cheater? It’s mind boggling.

    • They are. My comments said that most coverage I saw worries about the suicide. I’m all for protecting loss of life, but I’m not at all for protecting cheaters.

      • its so interesting, enseetee, that the coverage seems to worry so very much about suicide by cheaters or damage to families if the cheaters are exposed before they are ready. Yet there is no corresponding worry about chumps committing suicide or families being destroyed by cheaters who have managed to pull off their deceptions sometimes for decades before being caught.

        • Really, Kelly, it’s all fucking Good when we are told to own our part of this shit, and told to cover for these losers, and forgive them, don’t shame them for being adultering whores, blah, blah, blah. Let the cheaters deal with the consequences and fallout for a change. If they can’t handle it they should have kept their dick in their pants. Problem solved.

        • Asshat throws out the on-the-verge-of-suicide shit when he is raging. He hasn’t ever gone through with it in all his decades on this earth. I can barely stop myself from kneeing him in the nuts when he does it and then I am supposed to thank him for not offing himself bc he was concerned my son and I wouldn’t get his life insurance money. Fucking drama queen.

          Cover for him, my ass. I am so fucking done with that shit.

          • The ex did that also. He was so depressed, he wanted to hurt himself/kill himself, he was so confused, he was that he was this. It went on and on. Right. He did not care at all what he did to me. With his many comments such as “I think you are jealous”. Please! I knew then he would never get what he did to me and our marriage. All he did was mind games.

            He still had enough energy during his so-called busy working day to have his affairs. Do I feel sorry for these so called depressed cheaters? Hell freaking no! I didn’t believe what he told me. I should have checked his sorry ass into the mental ward. Then get my ducks in a row and divorce his sorry ass. He would not have know what hit nasty ass.

            Do I feel sorry and very upset for the their spouses and children that had no clue what Daddy and/or Mother is? Yes, I do.

            Sadly many of them (the faithful) spouses will believe the cheater excuses and move on like nothing happen. I don’t believe any of these excuses when it comes with these cheaters.

            That owner of the site and his wife are really freaking messed up.

  • Life is short, expose some a**hole cheaters.

    Life if short, hack a shady company.

    Life is short, celebrate some cheater schadenfreude…

  • I’m sorry, but I agree with Sephage. And furthermore, I have been smiling and dancing like Snoopie all day! These cheaters deserve everything they got today! The real truth ALWAYS comes out sooner or later!

    • Same here, Roberta. Just more proof these things don’t change. Their special soul-mate schmoopies need a wake up call. This is just proving Chump Nation knows the truth.

  • You know what I LOVE about this whole thing. It’s information that can help chumps discover they’re with Cheaters. Hopefully, when they realize they’re with lyin’, cheating spouses they might get wise and divorce. It’s disruptive, kids lose etc. but it is so much better to NOT get gaslighted anymore when you suspect your spouse partner is a cheater. These chumps can cut down on the total of years lost and sunk costs. Get out sooner and you’ll be less likely to get an STD. Get out sooner and you can move forward with your life.

    Secondly, what a GREAT tool for employers! Narcissists are also more likely to lie in their work, embezzle etc. What a great screening tool! Seriously. Hopefully, employees with no history and integrity will rise to the top of the hiring pool. The cheater employees will be seen for what they are- sparkly turds that shoudn’t be trusted.

    • Hope49,

      I hope so but many of the chumps that are dealing with this information most likely will not believe the proof and believe the cheaters excuses. I can remember how I felt when I had my 1st D-day I was in a fog for many years. Also I believed the ex wanted the marriage and he would never cheat again. Well that is what he said to me but it never was true. So maybe some will leave but many will stay. Gaslighting between the these cheaters and the chumps will be running high. Typical Cluster B Personality Disorder relationship cycle.

      Also the ex used his computer and the internet at work for his cheating. I know I could report him still to this day but really will not do any good. I know he did use his position of authority to get his Schoompie’s also. If I reported it to his job, sadly it would have been swept under the rug and I would have looked like the mental person.

      I also wonder if AM could be liable for the mental toll and health risk from cheating (meaning STD’s and HIV/AIDs) and any divorce challenges (meaning the cheater using credit cards without the spouse knowing and getting those funds back) in court?

      I am sure that owner of AM, Noel Biderman and his wife didn’t think about that with that entitled way of thinking. I hope him and his wife get their KARMA day in court with chumps suing the hell out of them.

  • Ahhhh, I love the sound of karma bus rolling down the hill.
    Let the cheater fuckers shit themselves – no sympathy.

    Its straight out of the playbook the response from AM though – an exact replica of “Its not what I did, its your reaction to it”. Even more so, given that they cheated their members out of ‘really deleting’ their accounts, yeah? Nice to see the bastards getting their just desserts
    Sounds to me like these hackers are probably chumps and actually have a fairly decent moral compass in the sense they despise deception.
    Its nice to see justice being served. 🙂

  • An editorial in our local newspaper : “How much empathy will you have for those who have and will be exposed? The fitting amount is zero, as it’s hard to feel pity for people who are both immoral and inept. Furthermore, they’re lawbreakers in many states. Yes, Illinois is one of 16 states that still have anti-adultery laws on the books. While rarely enforced here, it is a Class A misdemeanor punishable by up to one year in jail.”…..

    Well now, let’s add to the fact that I have solid proof that asshat cheated many many times, and some with hookers that I also have proof he used his mother’s credit card to do so since he has POA over her estate ( for the time being ) …and I wonder what that would account for under the law?

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