Nearly every day someone refers someone to Chump Lady on Reddit. (Thank you, whoever you are.) Sometimes I check the link backs and read the threads, and invariably some Unicorn comes on and in expert tones (my guess, someone who has never been chumped) shares the nugget that “Affairs are about opportunity.”
Really? Why on earth is this the accepted “wisdom”? Yeah, affairs are about opportunity, the way bank robberies are about Thursdays.
Let’s UBT this, shall we?
If affairs are about opportunity, (and not lousy character) all it takes to stop affairs is to prevent people from having the opportunities to commit them.
Ergo, chumps need to fortify their defenses. Don’t let your partner around Pretty People! Keep him on a tight leash! Is she really visiting her mother this weekend? What are you going to DO ABOUT THAT?
Opportunity might present itself! Quick! To the key loggers! Get me a voice-activated recorder stat! We need to monitor the situation for all signs of Opportunity!
If affairs are about opportunity (and not lousy character), then people are just as faithful as their options. Meaning, you better make yourself a palatable option there, Chump-o. What if there were the opportunity to trade up for someone better? You’d better be better! Dust off the pick me dance shoes.
Of course, as winsome as you strive to be, you can’t be someone different. You lack novelty. So, hey, why don’t you open up your marriage? Or, conversely, resort to option 1 — marriage police.
If affairs are about opportunity (and not lousy character), then affairs are things that Just Happen. Opportunity can smile on anyone. Even you there. Why, you could succumb to an affair as easily as your cheater! Because the only thing that distinguishes us from them is opportunity.
Hey, Reddit Unicorns — affairs are about entitlement. When you feel entitled to cheat, you create those “opportunities” and take advantage of them.
Every day we are presented with choices that test our character. Anyone can get laid if they want to (especially if they’re not discriminating). Chumps don’t lack opportunity. We lack douchebaggery.