Leave a Cheater, Gain a Dog?
Best Public Service Announcement EVER goes to Rescue Dogs Rock NYC for “Dogs don’t cheat. Adopt a Life Partner.” Spoofing the Ashley Madison hack, the ad encourages folks to get a dog (or two!) instead of a cheater.
“You’ll find things in your dog that you’ll never find in your ex. Novel behaviors like loyalty, unconditional love… and not being an asshat.”
LOL!
Oh there are so many ways dogs are better than cheaters, Rescue Dogs Rock.
- Dogs don’t create dating profiles.
- They smell better than cheaters.
- Dogs never say “I love you, but I’m not IN LOVE with you.”
- When dogs do something bad, they actually feel ashamed. (If cheaters could only slunk under the sofa.)
- Dogs just roll in poo, they don’t sleep with it.
So chumps, did a dog help you through your break up? If so, how is your dog better than your cheater?
And any chumps in the NYC area? Consider adopting a new life partner from Rescue Dogs Rock NYC. Show some love for this PSA and a furry friend.
LOVE.
HM……..I second this!
Love dogs! Work for a rescue now. But my soft spot is for kitties. Mine hate my ex – even though he was there when we adopted them both.
Funny story – after I moved out, he came by my place and spent the night (yes I know, stupid). My senior kitty hopped up on the kitchen counter and sent him a message – peed right on his coat!
Animals are smart – dogs, cats, hamsters, etc. This ad is the best CL!
I LOVE your cat! The first time Asshat spent the night at my house, MightyCat leapt up onto the bed, pinned his leg down and chomped down on his Achilles tendon. She was 5 lbs of kickass genius. She’s now 14 and I pray she long outlives my marriage.
Wow! Are you sure you didn’t write that PSA, CL? It sounds like you… 😉
Over and Out posted that video in the forum the other day. Cute! I wonder how many people (besides chumps) get it?
Unfortunately I don’t have the time, resources, or state of mind right now to get a dog. Instead, my line is:
“Leave a cheater, gain a gun.”
Who needs a husband? My dog EATS spiders. And what dog ever said “You don’t make me look good.”
When MightyCat and I were enjoying the single gal life, she used to gather up every bug she could find during the day and I came home after work to find a pile of various insects and spiders that had been drawn and quartered. One night I could not figure out what she was doing. I turned on the bathroom light to see her jumping madly to try to catch a bat-sized moth.
Isn’t that timeline backwards? “Gain a gun, lose a cheater?”
Wow, that is pretty fucked up. On a more male-centered site, a comment like that could become headline news about how abusive men can be, but on this site, when said by a woman, it gets praised. Even if you were cheated on, I think this sort of comment crosses a line that maybe shouldn’t be.
// , It’s just a double standard. They don’t always work in our favor.
Ha!
Tempest just made my day.
Mine, too!
Tempest, I’m shocked you would say such a thing 😉
‘course that comment looks tame next to your bow-and-arrow comments in the forums, ChumpyElf ; ).
I’m partial to trebuchets myself 😀
To Tempest regarding the Flame Throwers: Yes, we could be very Maid Marianesque – while we mix up a boat-load of Greek Fire! Yes, that dark age version of Napalm! Is that medieval enough?
Boudica–yes, flame throwers. Has a medieval feel to it. Must we wear Maid Marian-style attire to partake?
What is the consensus here on Flame Throwers?
My dog(s)/cat have been great. Unconditional love, they seem to know when you need a snuggle and they are always there for you – the only downside? having to take them out for a pee/poo when it’s -40 🙂 but a small price to pay to have a loyal forever companion.
I have decided that walking the dogs (even in rain, snow, sleet, and sub-zero temperatures) is a benefit. Fitbit agrees with me. 😛
That said, at sub-zero Fahrenheit temperatures, we don’t go on long walks–about a half a mile.
When a dog farts, it never blames it on *you.*
Belly laugh!!!!
hahahhaha! I left I cheater and gained a dog 🙂 🙂 I just recommend the experience to the chump nation!
I have three dogs, all rescues. For most of my separation time with asswipe his dog remained with me. The dog was heart broken and now won’t go near him. Runs and hides. I guess the dog feels abandoned too. He wanted to take the dog to his new home. No f ing way. My only companion and while the idiot loves dogs has no patience for them. Ha! Cold day in hell he gets my dog! No more husbands for me! Puppies give me puppies!!!!!!
OMG! I love the video. So very funny and very true. I can recall the dog I had at the time with the ex started to turn on the ex the last few months we were together. I couldn’t at the time understand what was going on until the last D-day happen and then the split and the divorce. Very smart dog! Now before all this happen this dog did love the ex but the dog knew something was up with the ex. More red flags I had with the ex that I didn’t pay attention to. He (the dog not the ex sadly) passed away a few years after the divorce. He was a very sweet and special little guy in my life and yes very faithful. He was more than a dog to me. Now I have a great very mental sweet funny little cat.
This, exactly!!!! Dogs don’t lie to you.
Cats, too!!! and horses!!!!! and gerbils!!!!!! WYSIWYG. Rescue anything, and they’ll be more loyal.
My Aussie was an angel sent to help me through the separation and divorce. The night my ex walked out, she jumped in his spot on the bed and slept here all night. She licked me while I cried. Later on my ex decided he didn’t have time for her so she became my constant companion. I don’t know what I’d have done without her. She looks a lot like the dog in the picture above.
The basic difference between her and my ex is that she’s loyal. She doesn’t spend all her time traveling with other dogs she likes better than me. She’s quite head strong and has taught me how to have stronger boundaries and be a better leader.
I have two blue Merle Aussies. When we split up, ex brings up the dogs. I looked him straight in the ‘ don’t even go there’ he got fear in his eyes he is too selfish to care for a pet. Mine are love bugs, mood lifters and both rescues. They know what it’s like to be dumped. could
not have survived without them.
What a beautiful story. I do hope that one day, it will be forbidden to kill a healthy dog. All shelters should be no-kill, and puppy mills outlawed. Dogs are wonderful beings. They do do much for us, the least we can do is spare their lives.
Funny stuff!!!
When I was still in spackle mode after D-day, my dogs came up in a heated discussion.
Just one more reason he behaved badly was because after my 13 1/2 year old dog (who I had had since he was a puppy) died I lasted all of three months before I got another dog (actually two of them because after one month I decided the first needed company).
Now, I discussed this with him before acquiring them, I didn’t just show up with them, and he even met them beforehand and consented to them.
I even made sure to get smaller, more “portable” dogs (my original “baby” was an 85 lb Pitbull), on the off chance we had to travel with them.
Apparently he hated them.
Of course he did…dogs meant he didn’t have my undivided attention 27/7!
Anyway, the dogs came up in that argument, and my answer to him bitching about them was that at least when I got the hankering for a little more attention to be paid to me I went and got a dog, I didn’t sleep with one…and at least they ended up being loyal.
Just the excuse he needed to walk away from the argument. 😀
PS: Those dogs got me through some VERY dark times…if it weren’t for them I’m not sure sure I would still be here!
Mine cheated the same summer we got our first dog, a Westie. Fewer kibbles for jackass at home with a new puppy in the house, so he sought out grad-whore.
Gawd, did he ever come out and blame the dog? “You don’t talk dirty or dress like a skank and all you care about is that damn puppy!”
I was happy to dress like a skank (it’s hot here in TX). Does calling X (then-H) a stupid MFer count as “talking dirty?”
Mine supposedly hated our dogs, could not stand the mess they made and attention they needed, (despite the fact that he agreed to get them and seemed to want them.) Just a couple of barking vestiges of the Life He Did Not Want.
He never asked once since he left how they are, or even if our elderly and adorable cat (who ex DID like) is doing okay (he is)! But hey, ex doesn’t see or even ask about his own children so he certainly isn’t going to care about a couple dogs and a ex-stray cat.
Wow, that is my dirt bag X. We had a cat and dog when he left plus 4 horses. He has never asked once about them I. 2 years – but like you he never cares about the kid either.
I got a Scottish collie puppy 2 weeks after x left as our other dog had passed a few months earlier. It was the single best move I made. I feel I wouldn’t have made it through those terrible first months if I hadn’t had the puppy – I have felt many times she is my shephard sent to watch over me and guide me through this nightmare.
I absolutely LOVE the video and I am sending it everywhere. ThinknI will forward to X as well.
Awesome Mommy Chump!
Just like we didn’t actually have a sexless marriage, you know, bc we actually did have sex. And since that wasn’t enough variety, I helpfully offered to him that “he could go fuck himself!” 😀
You’re my kind of woman, ChumpyElf!
Me getting dogs without permission is why our marriage is breaking up. According to H.
Not at all because he’s a controlling gaslighting emotionally abusive lying jackwagon (having an EA)
Nah, that couldn’t be it.
“and if the behavior of our exes has taught us anything, it is that we can have as many life partners as we want.” Lol.
What a great ad! And I took that line to heart–not only did I get the two family dogs in the divorce decree, we adopted a Schnauzer/Shepherd puppy for my daughter at Christmas (she likes the dog more than her father), and at the same time, a deaf-blind 10 year old ShihTzu who was about to be euthanized. In June, the puppy’s brother was picked up during the Texas floods & came to the shelter where I volunteer. Three weeks in captivity turned him into an aggressive, snarling mess. After being married for 19 years, I was familiar with that type of male, so we adopted him too (and he is now a loving, loyal guy who follows me around and wants nothing more than to please me. Unlike my X, the dog could be rehabilitated). Lose a cheater, gain 5 dogs.
However, just like my X the male dog is willing to hump anything that moves.
Hey at least the dog can lick himself. Doesn’t need to go find some other dog to do that!
I’d bet my X tried to lick himself a few times, but just wasn’t limber enough.
Tempest, you are the best, LMAO, and for sure, I will never see a humping dog the same way again :)!
OMG laughing too much!
That will occur even after he’s been neutered. It takes a while for the hormones to flush out. Also, of course, dogs will try to hump each other as part of a dominance sort of thing. Also probably a bit like the XH/XW and STBXes.
So I could have neutered X after the second child and he’d have been faithful?
Well, he’d still have been a jackass.
Bahahaha. I had a Fox Terrier I rescued (from my SIL!) that got fully knotted with my ex SIL’s unspeyed Bichon Frise (yeah, all fluff) one afternoon. He was 11 years old and had been neutered before he was a year old. Panicked phonecall to the vet who performed the procedure – turns out some dogs can still get it on after neutering, all the ‘fun’, just no puppies! So not a great “cure” for a cheating arsehole, Tempest! (Punishment, however….?)
Khris – are you joking with us? He tried to demand you get rid of the new dog because it would screw up the kids! wha??? That makes me fall off my chair laughing, I’m sorry – but I hope you gave him the biggest belly laugh of all time. I would have carried on for 5 mins, cuz I’m really good at a belly laugh for something so ridiculous, taking it to highest of highs…and can’t stop myself. And, a good slap on your leg doesn’t hurt a bit as you’re laughing.
If these folks say such stupid, obnoxious things (trying to keep control?) they deserve nothing but being laughed at – IN THEIR FACE. How dare he demand anything from you? A Sibe couldn’t be more of a beautiful, wonderful pet dog and I bet every single one of his/your kids need this dog right now. OH? It will confuse the kids? ha ha ha ha – he’s the one confused. Lost kibbles, perhaps?
Nah – he’s the one confused. You own this dog, not him, is that right?
Keep that belly laugh deep inside and let it out to him – or the courts, some day.
He’s completely off the charts in logic.
Fuck him and the whore he road in on!
Kudos to you for standing up to this Narc with a hugely bad attitude to positively progress forward with your kids. They are missing a dad – a dog is the best therapy, if nothing else.
He sounds poisonous to me.
hahahah, keels me Tempest!
I have two rescue dogs. They got my through the darkest part of my life when after dealing with issues from two deployments to Afghanistan, supporting my BPD/NPD ex I discovered her affair and fell apart. But they were always there no matter how sad, angry or upset I was. They gave me a reason to get up in the morning (doggy breakfast time is not negotiable)! 😉 They also got me out exercising – often the only time I was not a total wreck.
The ex wanted to share them when I kicked her out. Basically I could look after them, pay for them, feed them, walk them, pick up after them etc and she’d get them to play with for a couple of hours a week. Pretty much how it was when she lived here. I told her no way. She wasn’t part of the pack anymore. The dogs now bark at her when she trys to talk to them. Good dogs!
Another good thing about a protective order, his request to visit the cats was a big fat no. I never brought them up during separation agreement negotiations because I was afraid he’d use custody to get more of my shit. It never occurred to him to do that, for that I am grateful. “His” cat used to hide all the time and was a total freakie guy when he lived here, now the cat approaches strangers who come in. A much happier cat these days.
Mine did the same thing. He wanted to walk/visit him on the weekends. Which is really fucking stupid considering X lived 45 minutes away at that point. I told him not to worry, the dog wasn’t over here cutting himself because daddy left. I’m one of the lucky ones who did not spawn kids with this idiot, so why in the hell would I allow him visitation with my dog?!
I think I cried into my dogs chest for about 4 months. He got very protective of me, so much so he wanted to eat the furnace install guys when they were at my house. He would sit on my feet so I couldn’t go anywhere. Sweet Baby! Who’s a good boy!?
Mine did the same thing. He hated the dog, but when it came time to divide assets and things became real, he chose to fight me on visitation for the dog.
I know this wont et me fans, but I told him that I would rather put the dog to sleep than allow that abusive motherfucker to take my dog for even a minute. I watched how he and his family treated their “family pets”…his mother actually would strike their Boxer with a closed fist, lock it in a cage too small for her to turn around, covered the cage with a heavy blanket and it was located in the basement.
Yeah, um, no. When my ex got a new dog, he would routinely leave it slone for 12-16 hour a day, when the dog was so neurotic he could barely function, he left it at a kennel for 2 weeks and the dog ended up dying. What they said was that the dog chewed and swallowed a tennis ball.
Personally i think that poor dog committed suicide to get away from the idea that this asshole was coming back for him.
In the shitstorm of our divorce, my then 12 year old begged me for a dog, and I caved. Our family was rescued by a faithful, snuggly, sweet beagle, and I learned that yes indeed, I’m a dog AND a cat person. He has brought more joy to our lives than I every could have imagined.
Of course, all the years I wanted to get a dog while our kids were young were forgotten as X graciously offered to take our new buddy with him during visitation when he found out we got a dog. Yes. I’m being sarcastic.
My response? NOT. ON. YOUR. MISERABLE. LIFE.
🙂 Yeah, what is it with cheaters and dog visitation? It think it’s a chance for more kibbles.
As for doggy breakfast time — yes, NOT negotiable! Our dog makes her breakfast (and snack, and frisbee, and dinner) needs known.
My lawyer said we should not try to do joint custody with the animals; it confuses them. In her experience, it’s rarely worked out.
That’s fine with me. I walk,feed, and train my dogs. STBX wants dogs the way kids want toys: there when you want them, and out of sight when you don’t.
He’ll get the cats, and yes, he does treat the cats like toys. The past few months, except for feeding them he’s neglected them terribly to the point where the older one wakes me up at night for cuddles.
Wait? No joint custody for dogs because it confuses them, but the courts think joint custody for kids is great? How f-upped is our world???
It would be very wrong to put this on my Facebook page,…wouldn’t it? Yes. But I’m saving it for after the trial!
Oh, and I did get a dog. He’s awesome. He’s pees on the floor much less often than my ex. And he doesn’t snore!
This would be funny if Saddam didn’t deliberately piss on the floor in front of the toilet the last couple of months before I got him out of the house. I’m serious, he purposely pissed all over the damn floor. Sick motherfucker…
My STBXH routinely came home, stepped out of his truck and pissed on the gravel driveway in front of our house. It stunk, especially in warm weather. He also frequently woke up in the morning, walked past two bathrooms and opened our front door to piss off the steps, behavior our young son soon copied. I went nuts but he persisted in doing so, part of the devalue stage no doubt. I had him served and kicked him out, the house is now mine and he has no access to my paycheck or retirement. See ya, sucka! Leave a cheater, gain a life indeed.
I’m laughing so hard! Saddam pissing on the floor!?
Maybe his d**k was sore… had shrunk… could not aim right…
I was thinking of you too when I wrote that, DDW. What my ex was doing could not possibly have been on accident. And once when he was on pain meds…all over the house like there was a urinal on every wall. I kid you not. I almost lost my mind trying to figure out why someone would do that. My dog, however, has not had an accident even once since I brought him home!
Yes, yes, after the trial! It’s just a public service announcement, after all ; ).
Yes, I’m tempted to post on my FB page as well, but I don’t want to “stir the waters” right now. I have blocked him from my FB page, but some of our mutual friends can still see my posts, and I’ve been keeping them very wholesome. However, later…….
My ex moved out.
I moved the stray cat in.
She even got her own bathroom– His.
Yes Chump Lady you are spot on – more kibbles! Like the affair they just want the easy attention, the pats, the licks a bit of a cuddle. But they don’t want the enduring commitment to a pet like they don’t want an enduring commitment to their partners. As soon as they’ve had their fill or kibbles or the dog needs looking after then it’s up to the chump to do all the work.
Mr. Pickles, the cat. He got me through some very dark times. In fact, I’ve shared this before but I had a memorable exchange with my xMIL about him and her daughter.
She was attacking me as if I was a dependent, disordered person. My x and I had just divided up our stuff including the cat in her presence earlier. My (now) x told me to take good car of Mr. Pickles. I told her, “I will; he has taken good care of me.” My xMIL picked up on the subtle jab there. And she went after me as if I needed the cat to “take care of” me. “Do you need someone to take care of you, [DM]?” I fired back: “Well, that cat has been more faithful to me than your daughter!” That stopped her dead in her tracks…for a moment at least.
What a nasty woman. No wonder her daughter is nasty.
I was thrilled that she and her husband were no longer my in-laws as I got divorced. She was tame compared to her husband and how he liked to use religious language to manipulate/abuse.
Yes, DM, she was a vile person, and it’s so good you’re rid of them. I also know about the religious language manipulation/abuse issue. I’ve seen it more times than I can count, and now I believe that (very) few churches present a truly safe, non-manipulative environment.
My 3 pups got me through some pretty dark days. Dogs the best therapy!!
Oops dogs ARE the best therapy
I rescued a wonderful dog after I realized I couldnt depend on my stbx for companionship.(Stbx bitches and moans at most activities). However, I swear my dog smiles when I ask her if she wants to go out with me. LOL she is a great listener and when I have had breakdown crybaby moments she always gets real close to me and wont leave my side until I stop crying, my stbx couldnt do that for me!
She is an awesome companion – bonus I force myself to take her for a walk or hike everyday, which has helped me exercise during this crazy time:-)
She is super friendly….but there were times she put her tail down when the stbx was around…I think she picked up on his negative energy! !
Dogs are also very good judges of character. It never clicked with my while my old German Shepherd (who I lost to cancer not long before D Day) never liked my ex till after D Day. He could see exactly who she was, had not time for her, was always by my side, would comfort me after she had one of her many rages, and would growl at her much to her disgust. I wish I’d picked up on what he was trying to tell me. Sorry I left you alone with her while I deployed mate.
Pets are also a great filter for “vetting” any new people in our lives. I rescue strays and find homes for them. Some of them have stuck through the years. That is how I wound up with 7 kitties and at one time 3 dogs, now down to 1 dog. (The other 2 died of old age.) Animals are a lifelong passion for me, and non_negotiable. If they become my baby, they are with me for life.
Anyone who has a problem with my pets just doesn’t have a place in my life, period. Weeds out the personality disordered pretty quickly. They hate sharing attention.
Win win for me.
Well, dogs are sweet. But I’m a snake person.
I have a gorgeous Irian Jaya carpet python. Not a dog, but same concept. He smells better, won’t fuck the secretary, never says ILYBINILWU, and when I dose off with him around my shoulders, he’s still there when I wake up.
Not to mention he’s much quieter than a cheater…
I love snakes Kara, used to have a red tailed boa but had to find him a home when he got larger cos my dog thought he was a play toy and the snake thought my white cat was a extra large yummy rat. But snakes are cool and they do show affection, or at least seem to me they do 🙂
Wait—– cheaters are snakes, aren’t they? Apologies to the snake lover(s) here in CN.
My little Maltese mix was the Sad Sausages excuse to go out and text, talk with the Trash. One night when he came over to talk about reconciliation, the dog hopped on his lap and tried to get some affection. SS petted him for a moment, then pushed him away. This is the same way he has treated me, his 2 adult children, and his 2 grandchildren. After D day, he has had NOTHING to do with them other than a few single or 2 word texts.
The dog and the cat have completely forgotten about him and are my buddies, cuddling up to me night and day. The kids and the grandchildren have pretty much forgotten him too. Guess it’s worth it for a ******sparly 25 yr old***************
The only way I could get my ex out of my life was to let him take my dogs with him back to Canada — he thought the dogs were his ticket to come back. About 8 weeks later, I found Dinah. Shortly thereafter, I sent him an email to say I was filing for divorce. He mentioned in his response that he’d heard I had a new dog (he had spies) to which I responded that, in fact, I had a new life.
Dinah was later joined by Loco and we are all living happily ever after 🙂
My first ex, DrillChucker, took the cat and dog. He waffled between letting me have one or the other. We agreed they should not be split up and I was going to take them. Then his GF, now wife, told him to take the animals. Within a month, she’d moved into the McMansion with her pets and had my sweet (and calm, quiet) Airedale in a bark collar.
That’s horrible, ChumpyElf! A lesson to anyone in the midst of divorce proceedings–never let selfish cheaters take your pets. They’ll just be mean to them.
Very true Tempest! When things with my then-husband were rapidly going down the toilet, I persuaded him to let me take our beautiful dog (Husky-Mute) to my brother’s family (they do animal rescue) to visit. Then I turned around and moved out of the house. X never asked for the dog back, and one of my brother’s dogs (Malamute) quickly bonded with ours, along with the rest of the family. He’s still there, living in doggy nirvana.
He’s Malamute size, and too big and active for me to manage now, but I can visit him any time I want.
I’m so glad you saved your dog, Boudica (and have visitation)! Cheaters deserve leprosy, not animal companionship.
Yes, leprosy involves the severe atrophy and deterioration of body parts – until they eventually just, well, fall off. How fitting Tempest – a designer disease for cheaters!
I can think of at least one part of their body that I’d LOVE to see fall off first too!!
It’s low to take your dogs.
Yes it is, and so is he. I never again saw those little guys whom I had personally acquired, loved and cared for for 10 years. I take some comfort in knowing that he always did treat them well… better than he ever treated me or my sons.
My weird confession: Every year when I’m in my home town, I drive past his parents’ house where he was living last I heard. I do this hoping to catch sight of Mikey and Louie, even though I’m 99% sure they would both have died by now.
Got my first dog when xH was in love with a different co-worker (again) and avoiding me to spend time with her and other co-workers. His sage back then was Howard Stern. He said, “Howard Stern says you don’t bring your girlfriend around your other friends.” I was his WIFE, I pointed out. That never went anywhere, but I informed him that I wanted a real dog, not a husband who acted like one. (Insulting 4-legged friends around the world….)
That was years before bomb drop. In fact, when xH was on a rendezvous trip to Howaii with the poo he was sleeping with, is when I had to put my beautiful girl down, as she was dying of cancer. In all honesty, that day was harder than the day my soulless xH told me that he was sleeping with another woman.
I have TWO dogs now, because I can. They DO smell better than xH (not much, mind you.)
I am absolutely certain I would not be sitting here right now, breathing and typing, if my two rescue dogs didn’t stand by my side throughout discovery and the D process. Funny, as much as he “loved” them, he never took them into consideration when we parted ways. Imagine that.
We went to the pound three weeks ago and got nine pounds of of chewing love.
Hide your shoes! (ask how I know)
A few months before Dday we lost our beloved 13 year old Golden Retriever. He was the sweetest dog you could ever meet and never like my stbxh. I spackled that of course. Six months after Dday my youngest son talked me in to getting a new dog. We rescued a small dark gray poodle/lhasa apso/schnauzer mix. He’s a small dog with a big dog personality and we all love him to bits. The dog definitely helped my youngest son cope with his family falling apart. I call him my therapy dog. He snuggles with me just for the pure joy of it and expects little else. He barely leaves my side and is quite devoted. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the love bombing phase, just sincere loyalty. LOL!
I lost the dogs in the divorce but I rescued two pugs and my life is bliss ever since! I miss the old dogs but I think those dogs were the only thing he has actually loved in his life so I know they are ok!
6 to 9 months before D-day the cat had been peeing all over Narkles the Clown’s suitcases. Every once in awhile he would spray for no good reason. Narkles would get upset and I even took the cat to the vet and he was perfectly healthy. After D-day I learned the Flying Whore had a cat, that mine likely smelled on the travel items used by Narkles the Clown. While I was a bit upset that the cat seemed to know something was up before I did, nothing made me laugh more than one of the divorce documents that stated “Husband wants the Wife to keep the cat.”
I love that cat! He’s the best, and so well behaved now that Narkles the Clown is gone.
That is hilarious he was so intimidated by the cat that he felt he should include that in writing.
This made me laugh out loud!
Love it!!!!! My little furry baby listened to me and wiped my tears in her fur. She has also snuggled with my children and let them love on her for hours upon hours. She now barks and growls at the EH when he picks up my children. She knows crap when she sees it.
Forgot to mention, that as soon as dickhead moved out I changed the sleep number remote to the pooch’s name and sleep number. She deserves to sleep on the bed more than he ever did.
That’s hysterical! (What’s your dog’s sleep number?)
LOVE it!
My dog is a rescue. He has issues with being afraid of people, I think he was abused. Ex and I adopted him 1 yr prior to ex walking out. When ex first left, the poor little guy was so upset he wouldn’t eat (infidelity diet for canines?). Wife/dog abandoner commented that the dog had lost weight – never said anything about his wife.
When I cried in anguish, my boy came to me and howled with me. He was was hurting too. He had been through so much trauma in his little life and I think, could relate. Ex would threaten to take the dog from me in the divorce if I fought him on anything. Like, somehow when you abandon a dog for your whore you would have greater claim? Entitled muther fucker.
Ex and whore have married. We haven’t seen the bastard in over 2 years. Dog and I now live in a beautiful home. We have wonderful people that have opened their guest house to us. My guy has 4 miniature Italian Greyhounds that he plays with (1 is his girlfriend). He’s more relaxed with people, but still has some issues. The couple bring chubs of turkey meat for him and I bake turkey meatloaf bars to mix with my boy’s dog food. He’s the most valuable part of the Settlement Agreement (yes, I had him listed as mine). In the end, I’m sure we’re all happier. I got my dog, and the Ex got his (whore). My dog smells better. I wish I didn’t know that fact.
The X came as a packaged deal. His daughter, his dog and him. I had always been a cat person, but I liked the dog. Except the destruction and sleeping on my couch. Tried for years to fight the battle and lost. Finally accepted that the dog would be sleeping on the furniture when we were not home. Not happy, but accepted. As time went on (and now knowing his other outside activities), the x spent less and less time with the dog and he became my buddy. Near the end, the x hadn’t scooped the yard, taken him for a walk or even fed him in months. That was now my responsibility. However, when he left he took the dog. I really miss him (the dog) and our walks together. I hope he is ok in a slummy apartment. I did consider going and getting him when the x boarded him (the vet let me know records had been requested), but my love for his daughter was to great to take the dog she loved away. I couldn’t do it and knew she would need someone to help her get through him re-introducing his whore to her.
My orange sponge of love, cat, fell ill 2 weeks post Day and died a month later. During that month he was my constant companion and was a big sponge. I miss him ever so much, but until I have some idea of where life is leading, I cannot consider adding another pet.
I have 6 dogs, all rescues. Had 7 until a month ago when I lost one to heart failure. Have had a ferrel cat outside for about 10 years. Oh did they get me through. I would not be without them. Prefer them to people now.
I’ve got six dogs too Regan! Maybe we should start a “lots of dogs” support group. 🙂
We got two cats when our kids were 8 and 11. My CheaterPants bonded with the all black male cat. They would great each other in the morning with a mutual chin rub. It was adorable.
Our family had been under tremendous stress, health problems, job loss and several large geographic moves . I remained in the family home with our kids and the cats when a new job moved Mr. CheaterP to a 2,000 mile distant location. Our eldest was a Senior in High school. This living arrangement was by mutual agreement. Mr. CheaterP decided to add a younger married woman to our list of stresses, but before I suspected, before I had a glimmer of this arrangement, CheaterP came back to the family home for a visit, and was greeted by the Black Cat with a resounding HISSS and total disdain…It was so remarkable at the time I made a mental note. And 3 months later when all was revealed, the Hiss made sense. CheaterP died of his cancer, but the cat is 18 and enjoying a sunbath as I type. He’s loving and loyal to me. I’ll miss the cat when he’s gone.
Heck, I’ll miss that cat! Awesome cat!
I just loooove the video! Thank you for sharing this CL! I love all sorts of critters (except cheating humans), and used to volunteer for companion animal and wildlife rescue when I was healthier. I just received my service dog-in-training about a month ago. He’s an adult, and a rescue. A Schnauzer mix with a gentle temperament, but protective of me (in a socially polite, but firm way). He’s large enough to be a great service and guard dog, but not so big as to accidently tip me over. It was mutual love at first sight! Just like the dog Nicole mentions above, we’re super devoted to each other. He rarely leaves my side, loves to snuggle when he’s not “on duty”, and I know won’t he cheat or leave when the going gets tougher health-wise. (which is just the opposite of my ex – go figure). I just saw a T-shirt with the wording “Get A Dog – Because People Suck”. I was thinking of getting a T-shirt (or shirts) made that said: Rescue An Animal. You’ll Have A Forever Friend, And They Won’t Cheat On You.
Cheater SA and I shared a rescue for 15 of the 16 years we were together. Cheater would take Little Guy EVERYWHERE with him. You wouldn’t see Little Guy without cheater. It was all about Little Guy and being man’s best friend. Oh how cheater loved loved loved sweet, gentle, playful, loyal Little Guy. No vacation unless Little Guy could come, too.
That is until cheater was outed and thrown out. Oh, cheater has been trying to contact me since DD begging forgiveness and repenting, but never ONCE has he asked to see Little Guy who has now been my constant companion.
Detachable dog.
This was more telling than his addiction.
Everything and everyone is “detachable” to a cheater. Little Guy was a dog appliance.
Truer words were never spoken, Tempest. My conclusion, exactly.
I am sure the “sorry” is for the home, health, family, meals, storage, loyalty and decency I provided a lying, cheating, lazy, unethical, user of women, men and animals.
Yup, “sorry” I had consequences for my actions. Doesn’t mean anymore than that. These cheaters are so transparent.
When I finally asked the exhole for a divorce he told me he would fight for custody of our dogs. It sucked but it’s hard to find an apartment that allows them anyway so I told him to keep them.
In the beginning he wanted to share custody which loosely translated meant I could come to his house and feed them when he was otherwise engaged. Maybe I could even watch them while he was on vacation….NOT!
I had to say goodbye to them forever which I don’t think he planned on me doing. I think he wanted to keep some level of control over me even after I left.
It breaks my heart whenever I think of them but having any level of connection with that asshat would not work for me in the long run.
Love. Love. Love that PSA!!!
I think my two monsters basically saved my life. Not only did I have to kick my cheater out, I had to have major surgery. After, the only exercise I could do four months was walk.
Walk and snuggle. That’s what I did.
They were often the reason I would get up in the morning.
The cheater saw them for a month or two, but when I found out how deep his deceptions went, I told him I never wanted to see him again.
He said, I still want to see the dogs. I said, I already got a lawyer to make sure you can’t.
I didn’t really, but I suppose it worried him enough, and I imagine his whore was happy to have him not have any ties with me, that he didn’t push it.
They never seemed to miss him.
I did, however, make sure everything dog related was in my name only. Their vet account, registration, chips, etc., and that the sitters knew nobody in his family was allowed to see them.
It’s been a year and he tried. Also, a year NC for me! It’s the best advice I’ve ever heard. Do it. We didn’t have kids or assets, and we always kept separate bank accounts.
Oh yeah, I ignored a lot of red flags.
Anyway, yes, my dogs are great.
and while you are there, be sure to buy some Rescue Chocolate. http://www.rescuechocolate.com/
EX Asshat convinced me to get a second dog years ago. Now I couldn’t imagine one without the other. We agreed I should keep the dogs for our daughter’s (and my) sake. At first, he fought about the importance of “spending time” with the dogs in the morning (5 min) when he picked up our daughter for school and would get angry if I didn’t know he was there so I could let them out to play with him. Then he asked if he could take them when he had our kid for visitation and would also take care of them if we went out of town. He said he was going to help me take care of them. No surprise – another false promise.
Out of the blue, one weekend, he gets a dog, a Great Dane no less!!! Should it be a surprise that he casts the other, older and less shiny, dogs aside? Or that he didn’t include his daughter in the picking or naming of this dog? Every week our dogs have to smell the new one’s scent on our daughter’s bags. Let’s torture the whole household. Since we are essentially NC we have never talked about it, the deal just changed overnight and we all have to deal. And since he is SO SUPREMELY LAME like many of the EX-F**K-wads on this site, he didn’t change the vet contact info so they kept calling me about the new dog’s checkups and bills!!! Such fun!
Bottom line, though, is that I won! I have my daughter more time than he does and I have these wonderful dogs that are sweet, loving and definitely smell better even at their stinkiest! Cross your fingers for the settlement! Thanks CN!!!
he never even asked about the dogs! He brought them home and they became my family.
They were my reason for getting up out of bed in the morning. I cant imagine my life without them, I can however imagine my life without him.
My Ex was crazy about our dogs. They were both strays that he insisted we keep. The oldest dog was found with a broken leg, starving. Money was no object when it came to his dogs! The oldest dog adored him and would sit at the door when it was time for him to arrive home from work! Then he cheated and left! Poor Girl was nearly as broken hearted as I was! It really took a toll on her. She got older, sicker and missed him so much. When I had a temporary order written up I requested he also pay for 50% of the expenses for both aging dogs, he flatly refused! So much for being such a stellar dog lover. The only “dog” he cared about at that point was the one he was screwing! I had to put my beautiful, loyal, loving girl down just prior to finalizing our divorce. My Ex didn’t give a damn, but it just killed me! I still have the other dog and he is very old, blind in one eye and is deaf, but I treat him like a king! My daughter bought me a little Black and Tan dachshund last year and he is so loyal and sweet and gives me hours of enjoyment! He sleeps on my Ex’s side of the bed on his pillow and under the covers. It’s a hoot! I wake up in the morning to his sweet face snoring away and I realize that he is way more house trained and civil than my Ex fucktard!! I will
Always say Yes to another loving animal, but to another man…. I imagine NOT!
Prior to DDay we had brother and sister one year old dogs. The boy heartbreakingly had to be put down just after his first birthday because of an inoperable tumor. That happened a month after DDay. Our girl was lonely without her brother so I adopted an older chocolate lab. My girl Gracie still seemed lonely because our older gentleman was not really into chasing her around the yard so I rescued a young female who was very neglected. She turned out to be heartworm positive. And pregnant. Oh my… She had six live puppies, I gave three away and kept three because no one I trusted could take them. They are big dogs – the daddy was a Great Pyranees and due to the mama’s heath issues after delivery my daughter and I bottle fed all six puppies until they were old enough to wean. All of this was a great distraction from heartbreak. So yep, now I’m a crazy dog lady with six dogs running around my house and yard and I love every minute of it (except paying for all that dog food). I’ve gotta say, it has not enhanced my dating life, having all these dogs, but hopefully at some point the right crazy dog man will come along and fit right into my pack.
Oh I just love that video – it’s priceless.
And, Daisy-DNM – I really love your story.
Ex and I rescued 4 kittens at separate intervals over the last several years from the streets nearby his work. One, my big baby, was an abandoned 4 day old neonatal kitten- who I bottle fed and raised around the clock, and he is now my huge hunk of purring love. They have their own Instagram page and fans! –I was not about to have the pride broken up and so ex left them with me. I think ex brought the last two rescues home to distract me while he was having an ongoing affair, and it worked!
One cat was particularly attached to ex went into a state of grief and lashing out – pulling every minxy-scallywag cat trick in the book. It was one of the reasons I went no contact sooner. No more stopping by for mail in the house, or negotiating anything in person, My scallywag has calmed down finally. – I think he was more upset than I was, if that’s possible!
I don’t know what I’d do without my little pride, sometimes I can’t move in bed because I am surrounded on all sides. They have been my lifeline, and source of comfort and healing. –So, now I am a crazy lady with four cats which I can’t believe sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
And, while I totally agree, it may not enhance a dating life – to love animals is one of the most important qualities I would look for, and worth waiting for! .
Here’s to all who rescue animals in need! Those little dogs in the video are adorable…
superb
The whole relationship was marked by dogs.
He started his EA after I got an Aussie puppy. The Aussie died due to some genetic defect, I knew better than to repeat the error, I adopted a white rescue hound that had been very unlucky all his life.
I went on vacation with my white hound, because cheater was saving his days off to be with OW (I thought it was for sports).
I adopted a second rescue, to keep company to the first.
Now he comes to my house every weekend, to walk the dogs. They love him, and he loves to walk with them. I don’t believe he really needs them this bad. It may well be an excuse to see me.
He looks dreadful, skinny, unshaved, super nervous.
He never checks his phone now.
He looks for events that I like, and suggests that we go there together, although they used to bore him.
This is so strange. I can’t figure out what he wants. Making assumptions is not a good thing anyway.
ChumpFromF – Can I assume EA means Emotional Affair? If so, been there, done that. Do not make assumptions! I became aware of my DH’s problems with our marriage (really, himself) when I discovered his EA. I put up with a lot of shtuff and I’ve never been able to move past it. I thought it was my problem. I should just forgive and move on. Big mistake. It’s been 13 years. I stayed for the kids and out of fear. DH’s EA revealed his weak character. Looking back on the past 13 years, I realize he’s not that man I thought he was. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t be me. I loathe my own weakness for not doing what’s right for myself and my children. There is much more to this story but the bottom line is – don’t make excuses for his bad behavior. If you look back and see a series of selfish choices he made that put you and your children’s welfare at risk, accept he has a weak character. Make your list of acceptable and unacceptable behaviors and do not deviate. I gave my power away inch by inch. I gave away my convictions and forgot where I stood.
I don’t know if the marriage will make it. I’ve made it clear that he needs therapy re: himself and his issues with his family of origin. His problems have NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. I am only collateral damage. I’m great for use as a gaslight for himself. Except I’m not, anymore. He cried and said, “I know I can’t do it alone.” Nice response to my put-on-your-big-boy-pants-and-take-responsibility. I clearly outlined how he’s already tried to do it with me and with EA and it didn’t work. It’s all on him.
Just now he sent me an email trying to tell me how much it is going to cost since one of our daughters is seeing a therapist out of network. Nice try, Buddy. She already voluntarily chose to pull back on the frequency and made the changes with the scheduler. He either gets to deal with his Mommy Problems now and he might still get to come home to his wife and children or he deals with his Mommy Problems by circumventing them through his relationships. Without me.
Bottom line – sorry you are hurt but you are really only collateral damage. He has a lot more to prove and a lot more work to do before you should feel the warm fuzzies of commitment.
Beware, ChumpfromF. His supply of mail-order brides has dried up, I would guess, and he’s angling for you to be available to him.
I am the proud owner of 3 dogs and a cat. The cat we rescued from a homeless guy in the river. Dr.Demento and I always had black dogs. We had a black border collie (now 16 years old), and a PWD and now an Aussie cattle dog. When he left, not only didn’t he take much of anything from the house, or want custody of DD and he didn’t want the animals either. Nada.. strange man. I unexpectedly got the Cattle dog after he left, not only does she bark at him when he comes over, she is sleeping under my desk as I write and spends her time, at night either sleeping next to me, or under the bed right under neath me. At the first rustle of morning, she hops up onto the bed, throws her head over me and gives me these come hither (actually wake up and play with me) looks and kisses me. Way more than Dr. Demento ever did.
CFMily has these two little rat dogs…his words for small dogs, not mine. This is not going to end well. I am blessed. I got all the things I love, the kids, the dogs, the house, and the friends and a decent settlement agreement. He got his famous career and a woman with a high school education. (no offense to people with HS educations here. )
I would not have survived the last couple of years without my (current) Newfy girl. Although she’s an oldster, and we have similar arthritis meds ;), so I feel like *we’re* the old married couple. I sometimes call her my missus, as in, “I get kisses from my missus…”
And in hindsight, I probably would not have gotten though my marriage without my dogs, all of whom but one were rescues, and all of whom but one were Newfies (they’re a lot like potato chips, you can’t have just one… super addictive breed. Thank God for Newfy Rescue!)
But do remember what they say: “you can trust your dog with your life, but not with your lunch”. Since mine is counter-height, never were there truer words, ahem. I do love the old bitch so.
We had 4 big Great Danes when he walked out. Now, you don’t adopt a big dog like that without the whole family involved in such a big decision, and he was right there for each and everyone that we got as puppies. He loved the dogs as much as I did, or so I thought. Suddenly, he quit walking them, feeding them, picking up poop, he would’t play with them, etc and basically ignored them – all thoughts were on OW of course.
I gladly kept the dogs but it’s a huge handful for one person and I’m not very big. I wanted him to at least help me with vet bills (which can be very expensive for big dogs), food, medicine, all of that. Nope – he wasn’t paying a dime. He just never looked back and never asks about them.
One dog was his absolute buddy and slept by his side of the bed every night and followed him around the house. That poor dog kept looking at the window for him to come home for weeks. I felt so bad for him. When the time came for me to put him down, the asshole couldn’t even come to the vets to say good-bye to him. How cruel can you be?
Anyway, meanwhile, I have 500#’s of 3 dogs to sleep and cuddle in bed with every night. And, although it doesn’t leave me much room, it’s a damn lot better than having him next to me. Slobber and all.
I also am not sure I could have made it out of this shitstorm without my dogs.
My dogs and my kitty are my best friends in the whole wide world. I always say they are the only ‘people’ that really understand me. They are my reason for getting out of bed most days. Shoot, they need me more than my teenager does, and are a million times more grateful.
My husband picked out both the dogs from the shelter actually, but they always loved me way more than him – that bugged the crap out of him, lol.