Surely this is the biggest Infidelity News Story of the last year? Decade even? It’s huge! Millions of Ashley Madison users on Quests for Aliveness, committing Exuberance Acts of Defiance (in secret, with credit cards their spouses don’t know about… it’s a clandestine kind of defiance, but I digress…) busted! — where is she?
“Ours is an era where we feel we deserve to satisfy our desires. Selfishness is in.”
Does Esther promote selfishness? No! Narcissism is just one of today’s fashion trends, like rompers. Is Esther promoting rompers (or romps)? She’s simply saying, “You wear it well.” You narcissistic, vapid, shape-shifters — you’re IN! Pay no attention to those judgmental moralistic fuddy-duddies in mom jeans. You’re cool.
Of course, August 4 was before the big data dump. The job losses. The blackmail. The suicides.
Esther, I would’ve thought you’d be all over this. Shaming the hackers for their vigilante moralism. (Then again, maybe for the hackers hacking was an exuberant act of defiance that made them feel more alive. If it resulted in the humiliation of millions, hey, selfishness is in.)
Where are you, Esther?
Here she is in 2014 giving the nod to the Japanese, noting how popular Ashley Madison is there.
Oh there she is, on Facebook, demurring to comment personally on the Ashley Madison hack. But endorsing another article. (Wouldn’t want to get your hands dirty on this one, case you need to play it both ways.)
A lot of you have been asking about my opinion on the recent #AshleyMadisonHack, although I have not myself written a deep dive into the issue, I find that this article written by Glenn Greenwald for the The Intercept expresses my sentiments well.
What is your take on this data dump? On Ashley Madison as a website? Interested in hearing your opinions.
Are you really interested in the ravings of the Puritanically Gleeful, Esther?
Let’s put a little of Glenn through the Universal Bullshit Translator.
It’s hard to overstate the devastation to some people’s lives from having their names published as part of this hack: not only to their relationships with their spouses and children but to their careers, reputations, and — depending on where they live — possibly their liberty or even life. What appears on the Internet is permanent and inescapable. All of the people whose names appear in this database will now be permanently branded with a digital “A.” Whether they actually did what they are accused of will be irrelevant: Digital lynch mobs offer no due process or appeals. And it seems certain that many of the people whose lives are harmed, or ruined, by this hack will have been guilty of nothing.
How about the people devastated by infidelity? Where is the hand-wringing for them? It’s okay to promote cheating (the rest of the article does exactly that, and quotes Dan Savage as it being the Least Worst Option, because of course, divorce is unthinkable), but OMG, if it’s discovered, then it’s DEVASTATING for…. the cheater?
It’s humiliating to be exposed like that?
Yeah, you know what else is humiliating? Being cheated on. Having your feet up in stirrups for an STD test after years of presumed monogamy. Catching an STD. Having to reveal the STD to your new partner after you ditch the cheater. Oh hey, you know what else is humiliating? Paternity testing your children. Learning that friends and acquaintances knew you were being chumped and never told you. Finding your money missing and spent on affairs. Being gaslighted and told you’re crazy.
But when the people who do that shit get outed? WOE! The poor things.
This is just another argument for It’s Not What I Did, It’s Your Reaction To It.
But! But! They may be falsely accused. That’s true. I’m sure there are tens of thousands of fembots who really didn’t want to fuck the users they were so relentlessly pinging. And yes, there maybe the curious out there and cyber crime is never okay. Yep.
But really, you’re going to claim bafflement at why people dislike cheaters and don’t feel great swells of pity for them? Seriously?
But whatever else is true, adultery is a private matter between the adulterer and his or her spouse. Except in the most unusual cases — such as a politician hypocritically launching morality crusades against others — it’s most definitely not any of your business. None of us should want (ironically) anonymous hackers serving as vigilante morality police by exposing the private sexual acts of other adults. Nor should any of us cheer when the private lives of ordinary people are indiscriminately invaded, no matter how much voyeuristic arousal or feelings of moral superiority it provides. We love to think of ourselves as so progressive and advanced, yet so often leap at the opportunity to intervene and wallow around in, and sternly pass judgment on, the private sexual choices of other adults.
I agree. No one should cheer when the private lives of ordinary people are invaded.
To that end, Esther (and Glenn), quit excusing cheaters.