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Happy Thanksgiving!

gratitudeHappy Thanksgiving! After cataloging all of our family dysfunction yesterday, today let’s take a moment to be grateful we survived it and reflect on our mightiness.

So, let’s go around the Chump Nation table — what are you thankful for?

I’m thankful for good health, mine and my family’s. I’m happy that the turkey dinner is already cooked and cleaned up, now it’s just up to transporting it. I’m thankful for a good partner, my husband. I’m thankful my kid got into college. I’m thankful my book is finished.

And I’m thankful for this compassionate, funny, snarky community here at CN. Thank you! Happy turkey day!

Hey, just to make the thread more interesting — after yesterday’s cranberry margarita recipe swap — if you have any other great holiday recipes, please share!

Here’s my go to for roasted brussel sprouts:

Heat oven to 375.

Cut the little nubs off the bottoms of your brussel sprouts and place them in a roasting pan. Pour a glug of olive oil and stir to coat the brussel sprouts. Sprinkle with some kosher salt and fresh ground pepper.

Roast for 30 minutes or so (depends on how crunchy or soft you like them).

When out of the oven, sprinkle a little brown sugar on them — should get melty when it hits the hot brussel sprout. Next, take a spoonful of good Dijon mustard and stir that into your roasted, slightly sugared brussel sprouts.



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  • Happy Thanksgiving to you too Tracy! I wish much happiness and peace for you and your family – I am thankful for my family, my job, my health and that I have navigated through the tunnel. The universe sure has a way of teaching lessons doesn’t it? Your sprouts sound great. Here’s my donation to today’s recipes:

    Butternut Bisque

    1 large butternut peeled and chopped
    Chicken Stock enough to just cover squash
    1 large chopped onion
    1 pat butter
    pinch of nutmeg

    Cook squash and onion in chicken stock until squash is nice and soft. Remove from heat. Mash all with potato masher or blend with stick blender. Add butter,nutmeg, salt and pepper to taste – Enjoy!

    • I’ve made this and it is wonderful! Some stores sell precut squash. The cutting and peeling the squash takes me forever!

  • I’m thankful for my son, who is killing it at the whole ‘being a great kid’ thing while dealing with a difficult father. I’m thankful for our first holiday season in our first house, which I was able to finally do after three years recovering from the explosion that decimated the family. I’m thankful for good US doctors that were able to find out what has been wrong for several years and fix it. I’m thankful for good friends and family that have helped us so much with support, love and laughs.

    And I’m thankful for apple cider mimosas 😉 Fill each glass with half apple cider and half champagne – enjjoy!

    • Me, too! My son has knocked it out of the park, in school and at home. Amazing. I even forgive him for telling me the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result…of course, he was talking about my nagging over dumping the garbage (yes, I wanted to throttle him), but it applies to everything, doesn’t it? I am ever so grateful for CL and CN. No one knows more about navigating insanity than this group.

  • I’m thankful for my son and his family who have included me in everything and made me feel like a normal person instead of a shell of a human. Thankful for my granddaughter who dances and twirls everywhere she goes.

    Very thankful for the 25 lbs I have lost since Sept. I’ll be indulging in some mashed potatoes today. Thankful I am FREE…..

  • I have to say I am thankful for this post and the positivity it will highlight. It it has already brought a smile to my face. I have started a gratitude journal and it has started to make a difference. There is so much more to life than one person. Where I am we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving but I am grateful today that after work I will be headed to the beach with my two sprogs and my devoted father. Happy Thanksgiving to you who are celebrating. Blessings.

  • I’m thankful for my 2 kids that are with me celebrating our new family tradition. My new found freedom and self-confidence. My ability to rise up through all this chaos and become a better yoga teacher. Last but not least, thankful for everyday, good or bad, because it’s finally MY day!!

  • I’m thankful to have my kiddos with me to help make a more simple meal (just the old recipes). I will not receive hurtful comments because I am not trying any new recipes this year – only favorites.
    Recipe – if u can call it that. Kids LOVE it. My mom always made it for us at the holidays.

    Pour cranberry juice into ice cube trays and freeze. Put them in a clear glass (I let them use wine glasses. Makes them feel grown up) and pour in Sprite or 7up. Soooo pretty and deliciousl
    For adults u can use champagne. I call it an”poinsettia”. Happy Thankgiving everyone!!!!!

  • I’m thankful that the divorce is done, for good friends, and for my girls. And real longhorn cheddar because the pea salad just doesn’t taste right without it. Have a wonderful day everyone!

    • And coffee, long day at work yesterday and didn’t sleep well so very thankful for coffee this morning.

  • Every day since Dday I consciously give thanks for every great day, my terrific kids, my loyal dog, my supportive friends and family and my health.

    Have a happy Thanksgiving!

    One new tradition is making healthier options of our favorite guilty/junk foods. Here’s our contribution:


    2cups Hazelnuts
    2cups powdered Sugar
    1cup Cocoa unsweetened powder
    1tsp Vanilla
    Pinch of Salt
    1tablespoon Vegetable oil. We used Walnut Oil

    Grind hazelnuts until fine. Mix in powdered sugar. May need to mix by hand. Blend well. Add cocoa powder and mix well. Add vanilla, salt and oil. Mix in blender very very well. Add enough milk to help pulverize mixture into your preferred consistency. Finito e mangiare!

  • I’m thankful for the loss of the 175lb cancerous growth removed from my soul. Bring on the parade, margaritas, and an afternoon nap with the cats!

  • I am thankful for reconnecting with some wonderful long lost friends and new found friends! I’m dating women now. Not that way, you pervert. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

    My recipe for Christmas Martini’s
    Gather up all the candy canes that no one eats. Put at least one large one kinda broken up in a bottle with vodka. It will only take a few hours to dissolve. Lovely pink color. Put some infused vodka, French vanilla or whatever flavor creamer and ice in shaker. Shake it like you mean it. Pour into chilled beautiful martini glasses and garnish with a mini candy cane-the ones no one ever eats!

    Warning: do not use chocolate candy canes. Color is terrible! Enjoy! And remember-always use the proper glassware!

  • Thankful for my children and family (wacky, loving, present, and kind!), thankful for good health, thankful for two great jobs, thankful for good, kind honest people, and thankful we live in such a beautiful world. Will be enjoying the beach and eating all sorts of yummy foods over the holidays. Happy Thanksgiving to CL and Chump Nation!

  • I give thanks for my son & my new job that it is part of my exit ticket! I am grateful for the new me. I am not afraid anymore and I am reaching my goals little by little. Thanks CL & CN.

  • I’m thankful for people worse off than myself who have bigger hearts than mine. It keeps me humble. I hope everyone on this site finds the peace and happiness they deserve.

    My recipe, not the most elaborate, but I like my title for it:


    Cook up some ground beef (or use textured soy protein, dropping it in to the liquid later).
    Add onion if you want, or chopped up green pepper.
    Add a big tin of tomatoes with their juice.
    Add a drained tin of chick peas (garbanzo beans).

    Cook pasta separately, but here’s the trick … use those shells, the ones that end up being about an inch or less when cooked (small? medium? not tiny). Drain and add to mixture.

    Add any herbs and spices you would to a mixture like this (basil? parsley? black pepper?)

    Squoosh it all around, add anything else (more liquid?), and serve. See how many little chick peas have found their way into the little shell boats and eat them first, or save them until the end.

    Oh, but don’t play with your food!!! My bad!!!

  • Thank you CL, for this upbeat post, there is indeed much to be thankful for, even while going through a hell of a divorce!

    Over a year since DDay1 and the start of my divorce proceedings, I am thankful because I live in a day and age as well as in a country where I don’t have to take the abuse, where I have the choice to divorce… I am thankful because every passing day is a day closer to my STBX officially become my EX.

    I am thankful for all of CL and CN’s advice and snarky humor, for finding this inspiring tribe, for no longer feeling alone as I forge on to Meh, for redirecting my energy to support my own growth as well as the growth of my budding mighty kiddo.

    I am so thankful for the amazingly supportive friends and family members I have been able to count on as I build my cheater-free life.

    And I am thankful for brandy egg-nogs:

    1 1/2 oz brandy
    1/4 oz tawny port
    3 1/2 oz milk
    3/4 oz cream
    1/4 oz sugar syrup
    1 egg yolk

    Shake well over ice cubes in a shaker. Strain into a large highball glass over ice cubes, sprinkle with nutmeg, and serve.

    Enjoy and Happy Thanksgiving fellow chumps!

  • I am thankful for my first-born, my baby girl, my 21-year old. She gets it. She is intuitive and level-headed. She loves her home, her family life, and she cherishes every ounce of the atmosphere she grew up in. That is why our ordeal is so difficult for her. And yet, a stronger person I do not know. I am thankful for my son, my baby with the health problems, my 19-year old, who is kicking ass in college,playing a demanding sport and still making his classes his top priority. His role model for how to be a husband, a father, a respectable man, took a dump all over his ideals. But he laughs, calls me everyday, has a ton of friends because he is a caring and fun personality, and keeps making life as grand as it can be. I love these kids so much. I am thankful for my parents, still married and each other’s rocks and for my brother, sister-in-law and their family Thankful my dad and my brother keep hope alive in me that there are honorable men in the world. Sooooo thankful too for having the most amazing network of friends and support. Thank you Jesus. I am also truly thankful I found this book and this forum. You all have given me plenty of “amens,” surreal moments of “is she living my exact life?,” the male perspective, when it happens to him, a shit ton of quotes that I have copied and pasted into my journal for later reference, and of course, some straight-up belly laughs. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am not a cook by any means. .I am not responsible for the big dinner today; only the wine, cheese, and green bean casserole. So here’s my recipe. Crack open that bottle of wine. Pour it in a glass. Drink as big of a gulp as you desire. Pop a piece of cheese in your mouth. Repeat.

    Hugs and a great day to all!

  • Tracy,
    My gratitude to you forever for becoming Chump Lady and creating Chum Nation. You are strong, funny, generous and a wonderful wife, mother, friend and our fearless leader.
    I am with both my sons and my daughter-in-law today. Smaller version of the giant Thanksgivings past but none of those people stood by us so fuck ’em!
    My sons turned out to be strong men, forced too early to carry me on their shoulders through the fire. They are my cheerleaders, fan club and biggest supporters and I love them more than anything.
    I am thankful for the unwavering support of my therapist and the drugs I take that got me back on my feet and made me the strong single woman I am today.
    I am grateful for the new home, new job, new and old friends and the new life I created one step, and one breath, at a time.
    Not very meh – but I am grateful for being with my family today…and he doesn’t even know where we are.
    Cheers to those in the early days. Trust us that you will get to the other side…happiness and gratitude await!

  • Thankful for my beautiful, creative, loving, funny 6 year old son. My health. My friends and family who have been and anchor in this storm. Thankful that I have a supportive, rewarding job. For stumbling upon CN and for being the recipient of great advice, cyber hugs and snarky humor when I needed a chuckle most. And thankful for all the lanterns held by all fellow chumps, the bloggers, the psycologists who have traveled these dark roads, especially; Tracy Schorn, Tina Swithin and Lundy Bancroft. For leaving and surviving the first 3 months. For realizing that being honest, faithful and loving are not detriments, and that lying, cheating, blaming shifting, and making your family the bottom of your priority list is not something to spackle over. And thankful to know that my instincts are spot on, and that I am learning to trust them.

  • I am thankful that there is life after humiliation, abandonment and divorce. I had no idea at the time something could hurt so much and yet not actually kill you. But I’m still here I’m still kickin’.

    Happy Thanksgiving.

    • This ^^^! “Hurt so much and yet not actually kill you.” It was that close to driving me to it. But I’m still here and kicking as well. I’m grateful for that to? Happy Thanksgiving.

  • I am thankful for my almost-grown sons, their good hearts and lovely souls. My family and friends who have stood by me, with humor and concern. Finally, this website and its awesome denizens–witty, tough-loving, and commonsensical!

  • I am so thankful now for every day without the crazy, disordered man I married. His dark
    secrets and lies no longer have to be a part of my life. I truly thank God for that every morning.

    All I want for Christmas is…….. a divorce! 😉

  • I’m thankful for the three good things my ex actually did with his life– our three children. They are funny, sensitive, sweet, and are thriving. They bring joy to me every day.

    I’m thankful for my wonderful family and friends who have been in my corner and kept me sane from the beginning of my infidelity nightmare. They never wavered in their loyalty and helped me in countless ways when I moved out and started my new life.

    I’m thankful for a job where I have great colleagues and a flexible schedule that allows me to spend more time with my kids. It can be stressful at times, but there is so much about it that is truly great.

    I’m thankful for the roof over my head, food on the table every day, money to fix my car or house if I need to, and the community that I live in since it’s small town in the very best of ways.

    I’m thankful for my good health and the good health of my loved ones. I know how quickly that can change, so I am savoring life at this moment while all is well.

    I’m thankful for the friends I’ve made over the years through sites like this, and I’m thankful for the people who took all the time, sweat, and labor to make them happen. Thank you, Tracy. Your site has kept me sane and reinforced my gut instinct whenever I wondered if leaving and going completely NC was the right thing.

    My favorite recipe is the Libby’s pumpkin pie recipe:

    I use an old Robin Hood flour pie crust recipe to go with it, but any pie crust recipe will work.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

    • MovingOn, that Libby’s recipe is great and I used it for my very first attempt in making pumpkin pie this afternoon (maybe I added too much ginger .. has a spicy bite to it) — topped with REAL whipped cream. I’ll need to give the rest of the pie to someone, though.. 😀

  • I am thankful for CL and CN, There has always been someone to hold me up when I needed it or someone to listen to me vent. Thank you all.

    I am thankful for the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup.

    I am also thankful that Bob the squirrel did not find the pumpkin pie that I inadvertently left on the deck last night.

  • I’m thankful both of my girls are here with me for this special holiday. They came because they wanted to. They really love me and I’m so grateful! And special Thanks to Chump Lady and Chump Nation for saving my life. Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

  • I am thankful for spending the day with my son, daughter, son in law and grandkids. I get to make Thanksgiving dinner at my daughter’s house after 12 years of me not cooking. I made every holiday dinner for 34 years. It is nice to feel some normal again. Laugh today for those that are just divorced or sharing their kids. I know how hard it is. Blessings.

  • Couple of recipes, I’m making the shrooms right now for our gathering. I’m thankful I am making friends!
    Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

    Stuffed mushrooms;

    saute shrooms in butter w/parsley/pepper/garlic/salt – brown them a bit. Set aside
    cook 1/2 lb mild italian sausage, grind after cooking (much easier than breaking up during)
    combine sausage with Italian bread crumbs and grated parmesan cheese, add one egg – mix well
    fill mushrooms and bake for 10-20 minutes depending on size.

    I too have a thing for brussel sprouts;
    saute in skillet with butter, add plenty of dill weed at the end, allow to sit and soak up the dill. Add lemon juice and toss.

    • OMG, Dat, that is freaky!!!! Great minds think alike. And I am grateful to know you.

      Also doing sprouts, but with bacon, cream and gruyere…..

      • My mouth is watering, Mehphista. Do you just toss it all together? And Tracy’s recipe rocks, too. Love me some brussels sprouts!

        • It is a much maligned and misunderstood brassica. Basically cut steamed sprouts in half, the griddle so they brown up a little, with bacon, slap in a casseriole dish cover with cream and gruyere and oven for half an hour. Really good on toast the next day.

  • On a philosophical level, I am grateful for Dday. Life is so much better without all that crap.

    And on a personal level, I am grateful for Chump Nation, the family I wish I had had growing up. And to the folks who invited Kiddo and I over for Friendsgiving. I am going to make a batch of these. And anyone who says life is too short to stuff a mushroom never had one of these. Vegetarians, this works just as well with hazelnuts or pignole, just add more breadcrumbs/cheese.

    1 pack largeish crimini mushrooms.

    Take the stems out, wipe (don’t wash) the shrooms caps, put them on a baking tray cut side up, and into a 300 oven for half an hour while you make the filling.

    Chop the mushroom stems up along with a medium onion. Fry with the contents of 2 Sweet Italian or any sausage. Let that cool, add one handful each of grated parmesan, breadcrumbs and a teaspoon of oregano.

    The cooked mushroom caps will be full of brown liquid. Tip that into the stuffing, stir and wait fifteen minutes (This lets the liquor get into the breadcrumbs)

    Stuff filling into caps, throw a little more grated parm on top, and cook at 375 for ten minutes.

    love to all Chump Nation!


  • After my divorce, losing my housing, losing most of my possessions (including family heirlooms), both my pets and almost losing myself- I am grateful to be here, to still have joint custody of my five blessings, to have safe housing with almost family, to finally be believed that I am not just crazy and bitter, that what me and my kids are going through is abusive and that there might even finally be consequences for the abuse, to have a meaningful job, to know my very young kids really, really love and appreciate me with a maturity beyond thier ages, to be able to talk to my mom daily, to be able to fully enjoy holidays without spousal drama.
    I am very blessed.
    I make the Llibby’s pumpkin pie and the Cook’s Illustrated Pecan Pie, people have paid me for them. The secret may be love or maybe I toast the nuts. 😉

    • SweetSunny, I bet you wanted to toast your ex’s nuts a time or two eh? ha ha ha Happy Thanksgiving.

      • Oh yes, Kimberly there have been many daydreams of toasting a different kind of nuts over the years.;)
        I hope you and CN had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

  • Thank you Tracy, for realizing Chumps needed a guide when we try to get out! I don’t think I could have followed through without all of you.
    I am happy and grateful to spend today’s meal with my two sisters, and brother, and their kids, it’s something that hardly ever happens, and also in the city we all grew up in! Awesome!
    I’m grateful and amazed, too, that my three sons grew into loving, kind, intellectual real men, and none of them are Narcs like their father! I admire them so much. They won’t be there today, but I’m flying out to see them in 15 days, Yay!!!
    Bless you all, there is no more beautiful group than this one, and we are Mighty!
    I love this (easy) salad on TG, it’s light and fresh!
    Pink Grapefruit
    With a sharp paring knife, section the Grapefruit, removing each slice from the membranes. Cut the Avocados lengthwise into similar size slices. Layer them alternately in a pretty dish, squeeze fresh lemon juice over the top, enjoy!

  • Been saying a “thank you, thank you” prayer all morning. CL and CN thank you for changing my life and opening my eyes. I will spend today with non cheating ex, our adult children, and my brother at former IL’s house. They are a tad redneck but good people.
    Crockpot glazed carrots(I am so lazy) 2 bags of sweet baby carrots, 1 C of brown sugar, and 1 stick of butter. Cook on low for 4 hours, stirring at 2 hours. After 4 hours turn to low and let warm all night long.

  • I am thankful for my Schnoodle Puppy who came to me 1 week after DDay who has given me unconditional love and companionship. My tireless girlfriend who has listened ad nauseum to me rehash and think out loud, who reminds me that my stbxh is a dick and I’m better way off without him messing up my life. Most Thankful today that my college student teenage son chooses to spend his Thanksgiving Day and night here with me. We will cook together and enjoy playing piano – he is a virtuoso pianist, and I’m a serious student. Hugs to all of Chump Nation and Tracy and your family.

  • Thankful for ChumpLady….and Chump Nation. I found you at the most devastating time in my life. I found comfort, support, and humor, sanity in the storm of crazy making.
    Blessings to all of you. Blessings to you Tracy for sharing your story and helping to save us from the people who don’t have our best interest.

    Get your eat on!!!!

  • I am thankful for my super human strength and 24 days no contact with the asshat that cunningly ripped though my soul and the souls of my family for 18 years and to finally say,
    “Cook your own damn Turkey. ”
    Feeling fabulous and greatful to spend this holiday with beautiful people who love and support my every move forward.
    I am also thankful with God’s grace that my certificate check was put in the FedEx mail box to my attorney and filed by December 1st.
    Thank you Chump Lady and Chump Nation sharing your stories and the everyday “reality checks” put in my reading box.
    Thank you and 3 cheers to a mighty Thanksgiving with peace!
    Warmly – from the mighty ♡

  • I am so very thankful for CL & CN. I would be nowhere near meh without all of you. Thank you all for sharing and helping me to feel less alone. I made the mistake of making my cheater my whole world, so I’m a little short on friends but I’m working on it. Luckily I still have my parents. I’m especially grateful for my wonderful Mother. She is my rock and my heart.

    I don’t post very often, mostly because I can’t add to what you all say so well. Please know that all of your thoughts and insights mean so much.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

    • You have a friend right here GettingOverIt ! And don’t worry, you will find more, it is harder as we get older but it happens! Jedi Thanksgiving Hugs! Now I’m off to spend the day with some new friends, I told you it happens!

  • I’m thankful for all the blessings Spirit has bestowed on me and my loved ones. I’m thankful to be here, to have had my amazing sons in my life, for my beloved daughter-of-my-heart (DIL) and granddaughters. (My poor son… he’s awash in a sea of estrogen.) I’m grateful for my home, my fur balls, and my independence. I give thanks for Tracy and Chump Nation. You all helped me connect the dots to figure out some of the negative patterns in my life and how to stop repeating them. Thank you for the support, and the daily infusion of narc repellant.

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

  • Happy Thanksgiving my American friends!

    Many days I repeat to myself I am so very grateful for going through the absolute worst experience of my life and emerging stronger — and whole — and me again. While I am well past divorce (I think CL and I are on the same timeline), I am thankful to this site for helping me really untangle, process and understand the whole mess. I have been to meh, lost meh, and then back to meh again. As we get closer to Christmas, I am reminded of how peaceful my life is now because there is no grumpy unpleasable person with new unattainable demands (e.g. this year I will only be happy if I get a $5K watch)! I also remind myself of how lonely I was in the midst of all the chaos especially closer to DD#2.

    To the newbies, virtual hugs to you. It really does get better. For me the healing wasn’t a straight line, but my life is so much richer than it was before.

    Tracy and CN — blessing to you all!

  • thankful for my family, friends and all the love here at CN that continually renews and breathes life into my new existence.

    Thanks to God for all the tender mercies He has shown me, the grace, the forgiveness.

    Thanks to new family members, who opened their arms to me (DD fiance and his family) and took me in no questions asked.

    Thankful for my new home, my Aussies, the Y where I swim, therapy for both mind and bod, Books, crafts, fireplaces, coffee, dark chocolate and My lawyer! She and her team rocked. When I was spinning emotionally out of control due to the grief she held the center firm and made sure I got a fair settlement.

    Here is a new recipe I am trying. Got rave reviews. Plus making the traditional deveiled eggs.

    Shrimply Delicious Deviled Eggs (serves 6, 2 egg halves per serving) 2 PPV

    6 hard cooked eggs, shelled
    6 ounces frozen cooked salad shrimp, thawed and chopped
    3 Tbs. light mayonnaise
    1 Tbs. Dijon mustard
    1/4 tsp. seafood seasoning (I used Old Bay)
    1 Tbs. chopped fresh parsley

    1. Halve the eggs lengthwise. Remove the yolks and reserve for another use. Set the egg whites aside.

    2. Combine the shrimp, mayonnaise, mustard and seafood seasoning in a medium bowl. Spoon the shrimp mixture into the hollows of the egg-white halves, mounding to fill. Sprinkle with the parsley.
    Place the eggs on a plate and serve at once or cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until read serve, up to 2 hours.

    per serving: (2 halves) 73 Cal., 3 g Fat, 1 g Sat Fat. 0 g Trans Fat, 58 mg Chol, 414 mg Sod, 0 g Fib, 10 g Prot

    Chump Nation – have an awesome day and feel the love!!!!

  • I’m thankful for my kids more than anything but I’m also thankful for my friends, the true ones, who stood by me this year, they are legion! Of course I am thankful for CN too. Without you I might be trying to reconcile this crap instead of divorcing it and moving on!

    Thankful I lost 25 pounds on the infidelity diet. Right now I am thankful for resilience and realization because I just found out Narkles the Clown has been telling the kids that I get drunk at the bar down the street, which is of course a complete lie, and you know what? I know I can’t fix that shit. Thanks for helping me realize that everyone.

    I’m thankful I have my house, my health and my cat (the one that used to pee on Narkles stuff when he got home from visiting his whore) as well as an amazing boss and job. No recipes. Without the kids here, I’m going out for food.

  • I woke up this morning with the strangest sensation. It was quiet in my house. No grouchy control freak demanding everybody be up by a certain time, breakfast when he wanted it and shower schedule according to him. Anxiety was here as my constant companion, but the stress was not.

    I am grateful for the quiet although I miss the life I thought I had.

    I am ever so thankful for CL and everyone on this site that have walked with me during my darkest moments. You are amazing people that I am forever grateful to have met and be a part of this community.

    I am grateful for my son that has lived this nightmare day in and day out with me and is solidly back in college and with his wonderful girlfriend, I am thankful for my friends that have forced me to go do something when I’d rather stay at home.

    I am ever so thankful for my mother. She has been there for me daily since all this started and while she doesn’t understand a lot of it, she listens and crys with me at times. She has been amazing and I am grateful to have both my parents back in my and my son’s life after the exit of asshat.

    I am thankful for my fur babies that have soaked up lots of tears and hugs.

    And and I am thankful for my boss and work colleges that have been steady and strong every step of this journey.

    Happy Thanksgiving to,all of CN!

    • The life you thought you had was a mirage and a lie.

      However, NOW that life – fun, busy, supported by love, sharing and self respect, free of abuse – is a real possibility.

      Go get it, tiger!

  • I am thankful for so many things and above all else great people in my life.
    I think it was a year ago that I joined CN. I thank everyone for the wisdom, insights, and support over this last year. I am still proudly a recovering Chump. Safe and Happy Thanksgiving all.

  • I am thankful for my three children and granddaughter who give me the greatest joy in my life. I am thankful for having a beautiful amazing mother who was my best true friend.

    I am greatful for Tracy’s courage and commitment to CN. I’ve never been alone thanks to the support, kindness, and understanding of all these greats who have always been here since DDay.

    Wherever we are in our journey there is hope. The authentic kind.

    Happy Thanksgiving.

  • I’m thankful that I am 4 yrs out from the worst day of my life. I’m thankful that I didn’t take my life. I’m thankful for my son who just told me I’m his best friend.

    Im thankful my 95 yr dad is still very much still with me. Im thankful for all that I do have as I couldn’t ask for more.

    I’m thankful for clarity coming, and a feeling that I’m not the big loser I have felt I have been since hubby’s affair, and I will be ok…

  • Happy Thanksgiving to all and thank you for all the support in carrying me through one of the most diiicult periods of my life,

  • Happy Thanksgiving CL and CN!! You guys are the best!

    Recipe for nut logs that everyone loves! Especially the kids.

    ! package Philadelphia Cream Cheese softened
    1/4 package (dry) Uncle Dan’s Southern Style dressing

    Combine together and refrigerate over night.
    In the morning roll into log shapes and roll in chopped walnuts. Serve with assorted crackers.

    I am thankful for my beautiful family, my nice home, my great job, my gorgeous new fiancé and my fabulous friends who have loved me through the most painful parts of my life.

    • And oh yes! Tracy and Chump Nation. Honest to God, every single person who has ever contributed to this blog (yes I’ve read every post ) all of you have helped me more than you will ever know. You helped me make sense of the senseless. God Bless!

  • I’m thankful to see my younger son outside playing football with his older brother and cousins- hearing him laughing and trash talking is a joy to my heart after all the pain fat bastard put us both through this past year. I’m thankful for my beautiful sister’s who are letting me be in whatever state I need to be in at the moment- snarky, bitchy, sad, laughing. Wherever I am at the moment they accept and support.

    And I’m thankful my appetite has come back enough for me to actually enjoy a bit of the wonderful meal we’re cooking.

    And I just realized I’m logged in under my word press account- this is Gepster

  • I’m thankful that I finished my second 5K race this morning, just ahead of a 91-year-old man so my time is nothing to boast about, but I did it! Grateful for my dog who is driving me crazy at this very moment because I’m not throwing his bouncy toy. Thankful for my small but supportive family, my own apartment which I can almost afford, an old car that runs well, and the healing power of time passing. Grateful for my first date in 9 years, coming up tomorrow. Grateful to be joining co-worker and family for dinner tonight. Very grateful for ChumpLady and First Wives World where I have found many supportive kindred spirits. Happy Thanksgiving to us all! Here’s one of my go-to easy appetizers.

    Cucumber-Feta Toasts (borrowed from Martha Stewart)
    Preheat oven to 450. Split a baguette lengthwise, brush cut side w/olive oil. Bake 5 minutes till golden on the edges. Mash together 3 oz feta, 4 tsp oil, 1 tsp lemon juice with fork, season with salt and pepper. Spread feta mix over toasted baguette, top with thin slices of cuke. Add more salt, pepper, lemon juice, and a drizzle of oil. Cut into pieces and serve.

  • After an eventful week during which I had a few nights of limited sleep, I had nothing to do today. Ended up napping on the sofa with my latest rescue dog, who is warm and snuggly and sweet as can be.

    Sometimes it’s the little things (but, well, he takes up half the sofa….)

    Going to shower and go out to dinner with friends in a little bit. It will be a challenge not looking like the abominable snowman with all the dog hair, but that’s all the difficulty I face today.

    If I’m cooking up a big meal for my family next year, fantastic! I do love cooking holiday meals. But it’s kind of nice having a low-key, no pressure, quiet Thanksgiving in this transitional year, even though I always miss my human kid if she’s not here.

    But today, I’m grateful that I was able to just up and go rescue a dog without the STBX bitching (see what I did there?)

  • I’m thankful to God for holding me together when I was falling apart and for all His protection and provision for me. I am grateful for friends and CL and CN, who were so desperately needed in the early days when the pain was so great I would have taken cheater back and overlooked all the cheating, lying, and abuse just to not have to go through a divorce. I was told about CL and CN about a week after DD#2, and without all your help and support, I wouldn’t have made it. The divorce went through in 2 1/2 months after filing. My lawyer kicked his ass. Life is so peaceful and sweet now. I received multiple invites for Thanksgiving. My cup overflows. Gratitude is replacing the anger. Leaving a cheater and gaining a life was the best gift to myself. Happy Thanksgiving Tracy and CN!!

  • I’m thankful, first and foremost, for my two beautiful, amazing, loving and healthy children. Seeing how amazing they are tells me that I’m doing something right.

    I am thankful to have survived the past year with my health issues and the destruction, and to have come out of it feeling almost whole again. I am thankful for the people who have helped me when I couldn’t help myself (this includes everyone here).

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone xoxo

  • I am thankful I have 3 friends who call me everyday to make sure I haven’t jumped off a bridge yet.
    I am thankful one of my 3 children still talk to me.
    I am thankful I have 2 X sister-in-laws (divorced my brother-in-laws) who tell me that whole family is fucked up and it ISN’T ME.
    I am thankful I didn’t sign a lease on an apartment when my house ‘sold’ only for the buyers to back out 2 days before I was supposed to move.
    I am thankful my boss understands the hell I am going through and gives me a ‘pass’ on a daily basis.
    I am thankful I have a new furnace and a clean chimney thanks to the buyers who didn’t buy my house.
    I am thankful my car still runs.
    I am thankful I have a good paying job to pay an attorney an enormous amount of money because a cheater is doing his damnest to make my life hell.
    I am thankful for my parents helping me when they can.

  • Thankful for hope after years of hopelessness. The loneliness is painful, but even loneliness beats hopelessness.

    Life will unfold.

  • I am so truly thankful for Chump Lady, Chump Nation & all the validation and truth in this blog. I have been reading almost daily since 2012, and made it through the divorce after years of limbo. Every topic resonates with me and I feel so normal to know that there are so many others with this painful shared experience. Being alone with it was a terrible time that went on and on. And every once in a while I will read a comment here & know once again that I am the lucky one: When someone mentioned that their cheating spouse withheld sex from them. Wow! I never saw this for the power & control move it was, I only felt my own humiliation & devaluing. Hearing that others had experienced this from partners we didn’t even know were getting it elsewhere helped me to reclaim some lost self esteem. So much to be thankful for now every day!

  • I am thankful for my three children plus my future daught-in-law that have been with me 24-7 with love and support throughout this year.
    I am thankful for my friends that have “talked me down from the ledge” when I wanted to do anything but but strong and mighty. Without them, I know I would not have survived the darkest days of this process.
    I am thankful for my job/career with a great boss that has cut a lot of slack, and has always has my back. I am thankful for my work family that has been so supportive, kind, loving, and helpful to me.
    I am most thankful for the mighty Chump Nation and Tracy/Chump Lady— without this community’s love, wisdom, advice, and sharing, I wouldn’t be as strong and mighty as I have become.
    I am thankful that despite everything I have gone through this year, I’M STILL HERE. I’m still alive, still moving forward.
    Love to you all!!!

    I asked my kids which kick-ass recipe from today’s meal should I post, my kid said “Everything!!!”, so here’s my recipe for homemade gravy:

    Turkey neck
    Pan juices from roasting pan (put a little water, carrot logs, celery logs, onion wedges, fresh herbs -thyme, rosemary, sage — butter, olive oil under the turkey as it roasts)
    Turkey stock (water, carrots, celery, onion, salt pepper, poultry seasoning, turkey neck low simmered for about 8 hours)

    Put 1\4 cup flour in saucepan or stock pot. Add about a cup of pan juices while hot, then whisk together until flour becomes a lump. Then add about 8 cups of turkey stock, whisk as it comes to a coil, then lower heat. Whisk until the flour lumps are dissolved/blended, add more pan juices if desired. Add meat pulled from turkey neck, and chopped giblets. My son said he could slather my gravy on a shoe and eat it, so I’m thinking its pretty damn good.

  • I am thankful meh is just around the bend! On good days, I see it, up ahead! On bad/sad days, there is this blog that always warms my heart! Yay for CN ……..THANK-YOU CHUMPLADY !!!!!!!!!

  • I’m thankful the X bailed on the kids and I got to spend Thanksgiving with them at my parents 🙂 He blamed his sister, so they aren’t bothered by it ( probably prefer it actually, but too sweet to say), so the day was wonderful!!!

    • Funny how their crap life choices reflect WHO they ARE. Mine after doing the whole good dad/husband thing for twenty years just chooses to spend time with his “new love.” His kids no longer interest him. Who does this, right? I remind my kids it is ALL on him.

  • I am thankful that one more day is done and that I am beginning to see a tiny spark of the strong independent woman I was before I swallowed the whole entire asshole pill and lost my soul for 12 years. I am thankful that I was able to work today with a supportive friend who understands the pain and lets me be open and talk without hiding any of the ugly truth. I am grateful that I discovered what a fool I was to keep giving him the opportunity to reject me over and over- I am grateful that I finally reached the bottom of the dark pit of hell after a 4 month free fall and have started a slow but steady climb back into the light.

  • I’m thankful for all of the wisdom I’ve gleaned from CL and CN that prevented me from taking the bait tonight from STBX, whose Thanksgiving text insinuated that I had somehow interfered with bonding time between himself and our middle son.

    I’m even more grateful for the fact that STBX wanted to push this particular button because I’m enjoying a stress-free Thanksgiving with said middle son, during one of his rare leaves from military service, in a beautiful part of the country far, far away from STBX.

    Wrapped in all of this is my gratitude for adult children who see and understand what we chumps have gone through and who appreciate the sacrifices we’ve made as the sane parents who’ve tried to keep it together for them.

  • I am thankful for life itself.

    I am thankful to wake up each day knowing I have family and friends who I love and cherish.

    I am thankful I am able to appreciate and the simple things in life. The seemingly insignificant things. Things that cost nothing. Things that mean so much, that I’d so often in the past taken for granted.

    I am thankful for the oldest sister I had who broke our hearts when she passed away last Saturday. A God fearing, happy, joyful, loving, caring wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, niece, friend. Married aged 18, who shared 35 happy years with my amazing brother in law.

    I am thankful for my brother in law, a devoted, God fearing, loving, caring, husband who cherished his beautiful devoted wife. A man who is now comforted by their 3 beautiful children.

    I am thankful for the mother I had who ripped our hearts open when passed away in 2011. She is the single most inspiring woman I have ever known. She is the reason I have become the woman I am today. A God fearing selfless woman who raised me and my 6 siblings through adversity and hardship. A woman who is remembered for her generosity, her kindness, her faith, her smile, her laughter. The woman who loved, cared and nurtured us. The woman who taught us to be caring, respectful, honest, decent human beings. The woman who I think of and miss dearly every day of my life.

    I am thankful for the father I had who passed away last year. A strict, soft at heart, disciplined, no fucks given, no shit taken dad who loved his family dearly. A man who lost to will to live when his wife died. A man who emigrated in the 1950’s with my mum from Jamaica to the UK in order to make a better life for their family.

    I am thankful for my brothers and sisters as we comfort and hold tight for each other.

    I am thankful for music. It has soothed my soul in my darkest hour, uplifted my spirit and revived my soul.

    I am thankful I no longer have a disordered, entitled, fucked up, dysfunctional, defected, barbed wired monkey in my life.

    I am thankful for CL and CN. The opening of hearts in order to help fellow chumps on their journey to meh touches me to my core. Please believe “WE ARE MIGHTY!!!!”

    • Deloris, I am so so sorry for all of these losses you’ve had in such a short time! You are so strong! And an inspiration. You have endured so much yet still maintained a beautiful attitude of gratitude. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes to you and your family.

  • I am thankful to live in a place where the sky is almost always blue. Even if sometimes I want to move because the triggers are everywhere.
    I am thankful for having a job that is stable and well paid, in a nice environment, so I should not have financial woes on top of the emotional pain.
    I am thankful that I have two wonderful dogs, who dance every evening for me when I come home.
    I am thankful that I could reconnect with the little church next to the beach and pray with the people at least once a week.
    I am thankful that a nice man had a crush on me and has been messaging me every day since we met.
    I am thankful for the friends that I made on line and the friends that I made locally.
    I am thankful that no one is sick in my family.
    I am thankful to Chump Lady and the Chump Nation, who helped me validate what I was experiencing, because I tend to deny my own impressions,even when it feels like hell. I am grateful that they commented on my desperate posts and never got annoyed by me.

  • I am thankful I am free of satan.

    I am thankful I am still healthy despite the 36 years of extreme abuse.

    I am thankful I still have my sanity despite the 36 years of extreme abuse.

    I am thankful to see the light at the end of the tunnel I have been crawling through for the last 4 years.

    I am thankful for the family, and friends that have become my family, that have supported me and helped me to heal through these last 4 years

    I am thankful for my rescue dog, Beau, who went for satan’s balls when he tried to break me in half, 😀 and has been my faithful, loving companion even when I couldn’t stop crying or speak in coherent sentences 😀

    I am thankful for my tiny, blonde pitbull lawyer that kicks little cake eater’s asses and hands em their balls 😀

    I am thankful for the sunshine on my face, the rain when it falls, the awesome moon in the night sky and the wonders of nature all around me everyday.

    I am thankful I have the ability to be thankful.

    I am thankful I have the ability to feel.

    I am thankful for the awesome music playing on my stereo and the wonderful way it makes me feel.

    I am thankful that I am moved now to DANCE and SMILE and BE IN THE MOMENT and the agony is just not so much.

    I am thankful for all of you Chumps and for Tracy for being brutally honest and tenderly caring all at the same time for my well being.

    😀 I am thankful that I can just breath now and know that I am gonna be okay and I am gonna make it!

  • I am thankful my son is doing better in all ways – he’s a great kid. I am thankful for our continued good health…in the past several months I am walking more and have lost 8 pounds. A yearly checkup shows my blood pressure is lower and my cholesterol has dropped as well. Best of all, the STBXH will really be an EX in a couple of months, yah! Progress in a lot of ways. I am happier.

    Thankful for good friends and neighbors and supportive family on this hellish journey to a new life…thankful that I found CL and CN!

    • I am late to this party, but this year I am thankful for:

      My sweet, kind, caring, sensitive, helpful boys, who are navigating the loss of their family as best they can, and who show every sign of becoming the good and decent men their father never was.

      My family: parents, brothers, sisters-in-law, and old friends who have had my back through this whole ordeal, who supported and loved me even while I tried to reconcile with stbx, and who cheered even louder and supported me even more as I did the very hard work of separating and starting over alone.

      A job that I truly love, and look forward to going to almost every day.

      Making it through 358 days of the freaking YEAR that the Commonwealth of Virginia has required I remain tethered to my emotionally abusive cheater. In exactly one week, I will finally be eligible to file for divorce, and in another 3 or 4 months, I will be legally free.

      • Hugs to you Kristen! Getting divorced in the Commonwealth of Va. just SUCKS. That 1 year and 1 day waiting period until you can even FILE is just odious.

        Even in Texas, as conservative as it is, your divorce can be final in 60 days.

        I’m still staggered that you can buy a gun in one day, but divorce? Oh no, we have to wait a YEAR before you can even file. It’s an insanity that must stop, IMO!

  • This thread was so awesome, CL .. reminders of simple (but important) things to be thankful for and recipes to boot! I’m grateful to find kindred folks here and hope to meet more personally, IRL. I spent my Thanksgiving weekend with people I wanted to be with and avoided the rest. This is a good tradition to keep, for always and beyond just the holidays.

  • I’m thankful that this year, I am officially divorced from POS Cheater. I spent the week with my mother, who enjoys good health, two sisters, a brother-in-law, and a niece. We had fun. The BiL has recently had reconstructive knee surgery, but braved a car trip to do the family Thanksgiving thing. He’s high maintenance, but no one is as high maintenance as my XH was around the holidays,

    My family takes cooking seriously. I made a kick-ass, herb-crusted turkey with sherry and mushroom gravy, and stuffed it with a wild mushroom stuffing. It was awesome. We ate, drank, and ate more. I now need to go on the post-Thanksgiving/pre-Christmas diet.

  • I am thankful for just about everything. I mean, seriously. I have it pretty darn good. Two amazing kids that adore me, 4 great fur babies and a nice, warm roof over my head. I decorated it all up with Christmas decorations, even though I really didn’t feel like it. I’m thankful I found the energy to do it anyway. I’m thankful I started a c25k program, and I’m actually running – yes, me – running. Weird. And I’m thankful for a couple of opportunities. First of which is going back to school for my Masters. Then, potentially, a new job that seems as though it was written for me. We’ll see what bubbles to the top first.

    Most of all, I’m thankful I realized I do actually have options. I may have had a shitty husband, but so do a lot of people. This doesn’t make me special. What does make me special is how I chose to react.

    Love the recipes, folks – I’m thankful for those too.
    Gobble gobble.

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