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UBT OW: I Just Want to Reach Out and Help You!

condescendThe Universal Bullshit Translator just can’t get enough of supercilious, OW twat waffle condescension. It’s like popcorn to the UBT. Popped fresh from Satan’s own blast furnace.

Amazon chump sent in a doozy:

My ex’s OW sent me the below email when he decided to stay married to me after I filed for divorce. Stupidly I believed him. He started fooling around with her again within a couple of years. I didn’t waste any time the second time around. I divorced his adulterous ass. Now he’s with his skank. I’d love the UBT to work on this:

Your wish is the UBT’s command, Amazon chump!

My therapist thought it might be helpful for you to have this information.

Harassing you was my therapist’s idea. Really!

I’m not a condescending twat waffle — I’m helpful! 

I have really wanted to reach out to you many times in the past, but I just wasn’t sure how and what to say.

“I’m fucking your husband” is a nice ice breaker.

Let me first say that I apologize for what you have been through and are still going through.

I’m so sorry for that nebulous Thing you are Going Through. Of which I have no pronouns or active verbs. Sometimes Things just engulf us, like sarin gas. Or fall from the sky like anvils. Who knows why? It’s one of God’s little mysteries. I don’t know what you did to piss off God, but I’m sorry for you. 

You have a lot of life ahead of you and my sincere wish is that you find a true healthy relationship.

Stay away from my man! 

You didn’t have a True, Healthy Relationship with him, like I do! Sneaking around for 11 years, fucking in cheap hotels, waiting for the one glorious day you would divorce his ass he would leave his wife for me. 

I firmly believe that God has a plan for each of us and the best awaits if we just trust Him.

My affair was just part of God’s plan. I trusted in God, waited for years, and got your husband! See what happens if you just trust in God? 

Although we have been house-hunting and planning for the future (living together, cruise/trips, one truck, not two, etc.),


Am I gloating? Hey, I’m the picture of modesty. I only have ONE truck. That I share with your husband… to have romantic adventures and house hunt with. 

Dave and I spoke last week of his need to ‘ease his conscious’ and ‘anxiety’ by making an attempt to assess your relationship without having me as a best friend/confidant.

I keep him on a very short leash. I’d tether him to a bedpost if I could. The way best friends do. 

I respect this but my concern is really for you.

I’m concerned you’ll win the turd back. 

In order for you to have a healthy relationship you first must have a truthful relationship.

He only lies to you. Never to me! Too bad you can’t have a healthy relationship like I do. 

You asked me before for information which I declined to provide, but I believe for you to move forward in the relationship, address the issues, you have to have full disclosure.

Please be the hypotenuse in my triangle! Don’t you want information that only I can give? Can’t you just beg pretty for it, so I can deny you and say it’s for your own good? KIBBLES!

Otherwise you are doomed to continue the life you had which you have acknowledged was unhealthy and unhappy for over 26 years.

DOOMED! If I don’t get some kibbles, shit’s about to get VERY ugly. 

I don’t know if you both can overcome the past as sometimes there is too much to get beyond and rebuilding trust is very difficult if it can be done.

But I do know for certain that you will never be able to overcome the past if you don’t address it and in order to do that you need to have full disclosure which Dave will not provide.

You need us. 

We’re all about honesty and full disclosure, except for Dave. Who won’t provide you with any details. But you should work harder to trust him. Or you’re doomed. 

You also need a third party to help you with this so I hope you will continue with your therapist or a couples therapist.

You’re batshit crazy. I hope you work on that.

I’d rather not go into a lot of details in an Email

I try to avoid anything like legal documentation. I prefer in person mindfuckery. 

but am available to meet with you in person in a neutral setting or even in the safety of a counseling session if you are willing to do so. I am not proud of my participation but suffice it to say that for over 11 years of your 26-year marriage, there has been a daily intense emotional and physical relationship between he and I that has included many out of state/in state trips (including M****, camping with the girls, MN, NC, TX, OK, AZ, CO, CA), countless meetings in homes, offices, public places, shared workouts/walks, gift exchanges, thousands of phone calls, Emails, there’s nothing we didn’t discuss and many, many lies and deception to you.

I’m not proud of those 11 years of shared workouts, gift exchanges, phone calls, emails, and surreptitiously fucking your husband. When I was roasting marshmellows with your girls around a campfire, I thought, “Gosh, Amazon Chump should be here to see the precious memories I’m making with her children.”

That daily intense emotional and physical relationship with your husband is something I regret. Daily. 24/7. Yes, I’m free next Wednesday, Dave!

I left off Rhode Island, foot massages, and putt-putt golf.

You may not believe me, but I have always regretted and will live with it until I die how you were made to doubt your own self-worth! You’ve been second guessing yourself and said in an Email that you’ve “been played for a fool”. And I know this because I have been made to feel the same way!

I’m a victim too! ME! In fact, my pain is greater than your pain. The regrets I’m burdened with… they’ll haunt me until the day I die. Just the other day, when I was house shopping — with your husband — I felt a twinge of sorrow. I had to lie down. And fuck your husband. It passed.

I was applauding you for taking charge of your life, seeking counseling, filing for divorce and recognizing the woman you can be!


You have to decide what kind of individual you want a lifetime relationship with and I know you have not always held males in high regard

You’re a hairy-legged, man-hating lezbo, aren’t you? That’s why you can’t keep your husband satisfied. Maybe you should consider dating women, seeing as you hate men. Just a friendly suggestion! 

but I hope you know that you don’t have to settle for anything—what you’ve endured is not normal and not what you or any woman deserves.

I am not normal. I settle for side dish fucks. I don’t deserve better. Let me cloak those difficult thoughts in  heavy spackle and projection. 

Of course you could choose to disregard this Email, act as if all of this is in the past and just move on together, but then you will continue to live the same life you have had for 26 years and the odds are great that the same patterns will continue.

I’m not going anywhere, bitch.

Talk with your therapist about this—what do you need to move on and how to move on for you, and/or for you and Dave as a couple.

I saw a therapist when we were ending a 32 year marriage and one of the hardest things I had to get through my head was the idealization of a relationship that just wasn’t.

Apparently, it never got through your head as you’ve spent 11 years as a side dish fuck. Excuse me, confidante/best friend.

The therapist even got frustrated with me

I’m sure she’s not the only one.

because I kept saying, “well, if we could go back”, “if he would just do this”, “if I would do that”, etc. What I had to learn was that the relationship I had thought we could have was just not possible because that is not who he and I were together. My regret is that F* and I did not end amicably.

It’s shocking that F wasn’t amiable about me screwing other men. I regret his unreasonable animosity. 

Should you want to discuss more I will respond to you. Should you not want to discuss further I will not ask again. Either way, I hope you accept this Email as it is intended.

I hope it fucks with your head. I hope you think of me always and forever. When you’re shaving your legs — Twat waffle! When you’re standing in line at the DMV — Twat waffle! When you’re filling your taxes — Twat waffle! 

Please accept my desire to be utterly central. Kibbles! 

I told you when you visited my office that I was speaking from my caring about you, a fellow human being.

A fellow human being, but a lesser one. I care about man-hating, batshit crazy lezbos. I speak with kindness to all of God’s inferior creatures. 

I wish you the best whether you are able to work through the issues and come out as a stronger couple, or if you amicably decide otherwise.

Keep it amiable! I’d hate for you to come after me with a gun. 

Take care of yourself,

Fuck off and die.


Satan’s Affectionate Bitch

Shits After Belching

Sweet Ass Bandit

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at [email protected]. Read more about submission guidelines.
    • Oye! Amazon Chump.
      All I hear when I read the OW email is someone who is “desperate” for return on her 11 year investment even when she know it’s a worthless piece of shit. It’s almost like she’s screaming “give me my dividend” for all I have invested. What a loser she is!

  • What does Amazon Chump need to move on? How about taking a marshmallow skewer and sending it right through Twat Waffles eye for camping with her children???? I know that would put a ton of emotional real estate between me and that whore. Can’t believe assholes like this actually exist. SMH.

    • yep. Shaking my head through this whole thing…. it basically explains why this went on for 11 years – she’s crazy.

  • That has got to be one of the craziest OW letters we’ve seen! What a piece of work! this lady needs the most help of all yet she’s ready to dish it out to help others. What a whack job! Stay as far away from her as you can and don’t even bother to reply or talk to her about anything she suggests in this email. Good grief! unbelievable!

  • And she is the one thinking Amazon Chump needs a therapist?! Rich. That’s rich.

      • I suppose that might work if you were an old school Calvinist believing in double predestination–i.e. “It was God’s will that I damn my own soul to Hell” sort of idea. I don’t believe in that doctrine myself…but the OW may….

        • I don’t believe in double predestination that is. God gives us free will and enough rope to hang ourselves is my own opinion on the matter. Sounds like the OW is doing a fine job spiritually of tying and using her own noose.

          • Some people like using God’s omnipotence as a way of excusing their own poor behavior. Arguing that if something happens in a world where He is ever powerful then by the fact He does not stop it then He must support it. This is completely ridiculous, God hates evil, he hates adultery. However, He loves us enough to give us free will and we are responsible for all our actions. Without Free Will then all the good we do would also be completely meaningless. Sinners like pretending that they have God on their side, because I guess the alternative is too difficult to live with.

            • that is kind of where i am lately. it blows my mind that the hood rat is still married and mine is not the first married man she “helped” out of a sad marriage. i see her as evil, as satans succubus.

              but lately she has been posting religious things. “God forgives you. God knows you are not perfect. God has a plan for you.”

              and i realize that all she has to do is ask God for forgiveness and all the crappy hateful and cruel things will be forgiven. it kind of bothers me because i tried so hard to do the right thing, i sacrificed for my husband and family. and this bitch just does what ever she wants, destroys my marriage and my family, enjoys the pain that she has caused and doesnt give a second though on what she has put my children and i though………..all because she is happy now with my husband, he treats her good and now she asks God for forgiveness.

              so i struggle with the fact that since neither one of them have had any consequences for their really bad and evil behavior well then i guess God kind of doesnt care so much about it after all. i am not saying he doesnt hate adultery and the pain that it causes but it does seem like if am i to believe that God is going to forgive me for the things i did, he is going to forgive her and him for the things they did.

              • Dearest mrsvain13,

                Remember, Judgement Day is still in the future, my dear. THEN, they will get the full ‘reward’ that is due them!

                Satan just loves it when these situation cause us to question God’s view & feelings on these things! What looks like, from your perspective, that they have not reaped sad consequences from their actions is all part of Satan’s works! Remember, Satan is working very hard to turn us all away from God, with all the lies he has perpetuated.

                Hang in, dear one! When they get what the have comin’, it will be way better than anything you could ever inflict on them!

                From what you have shared, they have NOT met God’s requirements for forgiveness. It is his view that counts; not the sinner’s! So many say “well, I’ve told God I’m sorry & it’s all good now” all the while carrying on in sin, no changes, no remorse. Sorry…NOPE! Not how it works at all! God has requirements!!!

                God DOES care for you and all the ways you have shown your love for Him!

                ForgeOn, mrsvain13, ForgeOn all!

              • Dear Mrsvain13. Forgive me I know that no one can really speak for God but my read on the Good Book says that one is to “Repent and be forgiven.” not just ask and you shall receive. I understand that repentance involves remorse for the wrong one has done and a turning away from that wrong. In other words, she cannot maintain an adulterous relationship and be repentant for it at the same time. They are mutually exclusive. Without repentance there is no forgiveness. She may believe that she is forgiven but that don’t make it so. This seems to agree with other things God has said about the judgement we shall receive. There will be many who will say Lord Lord look at all that I did for you and he shall reply Get away from me I never knew you. I could be wrong about this but something in my heart tells me I’m not. It is knowing things like this that gives me peace when on the surface things seem so wrong and unfair. Don’t let your faith be shaken by her. Whatever it is that you believe be it in God the father, Allah, Bhudda, Kharma , none of the great faiths teach that one can do wrong and then flippantly ask for forgivness and it is is given easily. It may be given freely to those whose heart is truly sorry and asks but if your heart is secretly rejoicing in getting away with the wrong and you live reveling in the rewards of your wrong there is no forgiveness. If God allowed that I would have to become an atheist. True repentance is something the guilty have trouble coming to. Most all of it is what CL calls imitation naugahyde remorse. Don’t let OW’s crap eat away at you. She is not worthy to even claim to be the same species as you. they both suck but you don’t.

              • thank you so much ForgeOn and chumptotheend. i dont know where my head is and sometimes i just seem to be losing faith in humanity. i see and witness so much evil and unjust and it seems like there is no consequences for those people. they just seem to get ahead. i cant say that i lost faith in God. i know he is a just and loving God. i am just lost in a sea of unjust and i am so tired of struggling and being lonely, i guess. i dont know. i trust in God but i feel like my pain is not worth of His attention. so many more people are going thru much more evilness then i am. i know i need to turn to God for strength, but i am so very tired of being strong. i am not perfect, i have done some bad things in my life. i try to be and do better every day but it is hard to watch those that dont reveling in the rewards. i appreciate your words and i am going to print them out as a reminder to myself not to give in to self pity.
                thank you again.

              • X-hole started calling himself a “Christian” and doing late night telephone bible study with OWhore (think they already gave it up ) and I told that miserable lying ass prick “You and that tramp can’t fool God asshole, you can’t LIE to God, he sees everything and he can see right through your bullshit.” I also made sure that I mentioned that during their next session they should read up on what scriptures had to say about adultery, not favorable at all. Bad juju for sure.

                Just because you start showing up at church on Sunday quote a few scriptures and post religious intentions on Facebook it does NOT make you a good or decent Christian or even a decent person for that matter. And I am in TOTAL agreement, forgiveness requires TRUE repentance and that requires remorse and a commitment to BE better….to live a life of integrity and not continue to willingly choose to be evil and deliberately deceive and destroy.

                What kind of delusion does it take for one to think they can lie to the Almighty??

              • mrsvain, this is why I’m firmly athiest.
                What ‘merciful’ god would allow some disordered fucker to spew their way through life scot-free and destroy the lives of innocent people? Those innocent people DO NOT DESERVE THIS SHIT, from a ‘loving’ god or otherwise.
                You don’t get a ‘get out of jail free’ card just because you pretend to care.

              • mrsvain,
                I hope you don’t mind my posting this psalm – I have felt much the same way as you, and it is very helpful for me, even now, to read it when I start to feel discouraged again. God cares and He sees.

                Psalm 73
                A psalm of Asaph.

                Surely God is good to Israel,
                to those who are pure in heart.

                But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
                I had nearly lost my foothold.
                For I envied the arrogant
                when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

                They have no struggles;
                their bodies are healthy and strong.
                They are free from common human burdens;
                they are not plagued by human ills.
                Therefore pride is their necklace;
                they clothe themselves with violence.
                From their callous hearts comes iniquity;
                their evil imaginations have no limits.
                They scoff, and speak with malice;
                with arrogance they threaten oppression.
                Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
                and their tongues take possession of the earth.
                Therefore their people turn to them
                and drink up waters in abundance.
                They say, “How would God know?
                Does the Most High know anything?”

                This is what the wicked are like—
                always free of care, they go on amassing wealth.

                Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure
                and have washed my hands in innocence.
                All day long I have been afflicted,
                and every morning brings new punishments.

                If I had spoken out like that,
                I would have betrayed your children.
                When I tried to understand all this,
                it troubled me deeply
                till I entered the sanctuary of God;
                then I understood their final destiny.

                Surely you place them on slippery ground;
                you cast them down to ruin.
                How suddenly are they destroyed,
                completely swept away by terrors!
                They are like a dream when one awakes;
                when you arise, Lord,
                you will despise them as fantasies.

                When my heart was grieved
                and my spirit embittered,
                I was senseless and ignorant;
                I was a brute beast before you.

                Yet I am always with you;
                you hold me by my right hand.
                You guide me with your counsel,
                and afterward you will take me into glory.
                Whom have I in heaven but you?
                And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
                My flesh and my heart may fail,
                but God is the strength of my heart
                and my portion forever.

                Those who are far from you will perish;
                you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
                But as for me, it is good to be near God.
                I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
                I will tell of all your deeds.

        • AMEN. “The writing of divorce was given for the hardness of their hearts”. Enough said.

          • Don’t focus on what God will do to them. Al Anon says: there is your business, and then there is none of your business. Remember instead Jeremiah 20 ch 11-14: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.[a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

            Know that this is all part of God’s plan for you, that happiness and better is round the corner. Them? Let there sorry ass selfishness reaps its own rewards, not your problem!

      • I refer to the crap in this nutslut’s letter as the Mother Theresa complex. It’s like a strange twist on narcissism. People like this love the adoration that comes with making others believe that they are super self-sacrificial … like Mother Theresa but without the necessary commitment, honesty, and hard work that went into Mother Theresa’s life.

        Mother Theresa’s reputation was real. The nutslut … like every other narc I’ve ever met … can only be a pretender to the throne. No integrity. None.

        • Mother Teresa was also a lying piece of crap too.
          Go look up the stories of where she squirrelled away money for herself, and how when she got ill, she went to foreign doctors to get fixed. What, wasn’t her hospitals good enough? Of course not.

          • Lania good for you and your courage to call it what it is !! Yes I am well aware from excellent Christopher Hitchens documentary on her and other boguses under the guise of good Samaritans doing gods work. I felt sorry for the poor who were entrusted into her care and used as mere props. Yet another disordered revered exposed ! These are narcs positioned perfectly for global kibbles. And don’t get me started on that Dalai and pope and whole establishments that use these people to generate the gravy train!!!

            • Its not courage, really. Its, like you said, calling people out on their shit.
              And, no matter who it is, they need to be called out on their shit.
              I can’t fucking stand people who blatantly lie, cheat and steal, or are apologists to that shit.

            • Mother Theresa was a narcissist. So was Princess Diana, and Margaret Thatcher (told my by a psychotherapist. But ‘caring’ narcs do do a lot of good, so he says.

  • Amazon Chump – that OW is batshit crazy! Well done on sending her disordered attempt at manipulation to the UBT to be unravelled and ridiculed. Hopefully you are well on the way toe Meh.

  • Omg, i have never wanted to punch a total stranger in the face more in my life.

  • I have had one conversation with OW in 3 years. It was a phone call out of the blue when I thought STBX and I were still working on things. She was psycho…”I won’t apologize for falling in love with your husband, I told my pastor I can’t feel bad about it, just because you had him first do you think that means you get him forever, you have to move on because you can’t really believe that your marriage can survive this…” At the time, I thought she was delusional. Turns out I was the one who didn’t have my head on straight. She was telling me all the things he didn’t have the balls to say.

    • Wow, Michelle. Now the OW can try to keep him forever….ha ha–not clear whether the greater hell would be keeping the cheater forever or having him cheat on her, too.

      • I’m hoping X keeps her for the rest of his pencil dick life. Yet he will never stop cheating. Enough said.

        • Mine was a serial cheater too. He’d had a half dozen wives before me and cheated on all of them. If he isn’t cheating today it’s because he got old and is a little long in the tooth for it. But he would in a heartbeat given the chance. I guess that’s why Skank Woman won’t marry him. Maybe she’s not quite as stupid as I thought she was. She did however, refinance her house and paid ALL of his bills two months after they met. You know, instant Twu Luv and all. Refinancing your house to pay off your married boyfriends credit cards. Bwahahaha. I guess that means she paid off mine too since it’s a community property state. Now that’s desperate for a man!! Well, she WON him because she bought him! I can’t help myself, I still like to fuck with him.

    • i got the same phone call when i was thinking that we were working on things. she called from his phone right after i talked to him because she was sitting right next to him telling him what to say. i STILL dont understand why she called me, she told me that “he doesnt want you” and she “respects him”. she also told me that she “knew about his boys. and of course his boys love and need him. he was their dad”. somewhere in that conversation she told me she was still married and right about that time i wondered why the hell was i talking to her so i hung up on her.

      i thought she was grasping at straws at the time. and was desperate. But in all reality, she is evil. she did not care that she was destroying my marriage, and my family. she did not care that she was taking my childrens father away from them. in her mind, she was HELPING my husband and sticking up for him. saying the things that he couldnt tell me.

      i use her words all the time, telling myself that “He just didnt want me”. and there was nothing i could do.

      a few times after that she would tell me to “get over it” and to “Move on”. even thou it was only a few weeks after i found out about her. of course they had been talking for months so they were way ahead of me.

      it mind boggles me how someone can be so cruel and hateful. and THIS is the kind of woman my ex thinks is a good person. they are happy now. doing what they want and enjoying life while me and my boys are struggling everyday. he wont cheat on her for a long time, if ever. it was just that he was so unhappy with me that he cheated on me. and well, he really didnt cheat anyhow because we were “broken up”

      you cant rationalize with someone who doesnt have a conscience or any moral background. i have no doubt in my mind that they are good together and will be happy. she is better for him then i was. i have too much moral, values and standards and neither one of them do.

      • Mrsvain13, Any woman who allows herself to become involved with a married man while she is also married regardless of the circumstances is evil. There is no justification for it. There is no justification for her to betray her husband and there is no justification for her part in your husbands betrayal of you. I don’t care what a man would say about his spouse or how bad he might try to portray her if a married man had ever come on to me or ever did I would find myself highly offended and insulted that he might think so low of me that he thought for one second that he would have a chance. I believe that if a man truly respects a woman he would never ask her to participate in anything that is immoral or unethical which committing adultery clearly is. When they take up they both know in their hearts that they are scumbags. Worms really. I do know that when you first find out that you married a worm you kinda think they might be a worm but at least they are your worm until it becomes apparently they didnt’ think the same way. And any woman that actively pursues a married man is a whore. A harlot and she is the epitome of evil. She is also a thief. In essence what she is doing is not only trying to take your husband but by doing so she is basically trying to replace you and take over your life and make it her own. Taking what doesn’t belong to you is stealing. What I can’t wrap my mind around is her claiming to have gone on camping trips not only with your husband but your children. WTF? how old are your kids? I know that it must’ve put them in a horrible position which in my mind amounts to child abuse by their father because he basically forced them in to an activity in which they are participating in your betrayal. I think you better get a good lawyer and ask for full custody. What a selfish bastard to do that to his own children just to satisfy his own needs. He has no clue how damaging that is to those kids. It could really twist them up and make them messed up adults like him. I’m sure OW was feeling like such a winner as she was trying on your family for size. But know this although no one may say it outloud she will always be the whore who broke up your family and she can never be legitimate. Even when she walks down the street with her nose held up in the air….she will be a fraud pretending to be a decent human when in reality she is a sneaky lying cheating child abusing hypocritical slut who thinks she respectable but is respectable to no one but herself and even your husband will not end up respecting her and if he was willing to cheat on you when he sees her for what she really is he will be looking to trade her in too. She is pathetic really. But don’t excuse him because of your anger toward her. He is just as guilty and should be condemned with her. I know how wrong it is to feel as if something you valued so much was taken and there was nothing you could do about it and it seems no one really cares about the pain you are feeling and how it envelops you to the point of suffocating and how the pain in your chest feels like it is crushing you. this is not in your head. It hurts more than anything. I know I was initially ashamed because it occurred to me that it would be easier to deal with my huuband having gotten sick and dying of cancer than for him to abandon me like he did for the sake of a woman who wasn’t worthy to breath the same air as me yet he suddenly told me that after 10 years of marriage that I thought was truly happy that we had only married for convenience. I almost choked to death when he said that. Nothing could’ve been further from the truth and I had all the love letters and cards and pressed flowers and pictures and memories and hopes and dreams that said otherwise. I think they have to lie to themselves too or don’t have a conscious other wise they would have to go kill themselves for what they are doing.

        • You know my heart. You said everything I could ever say about my situation. Bless you.

  • You had me at “camping with the girls”……. Did this woman and Amazons husband take his daughters with Amazon, camping with his whore? Did these daughters never tell their mother? “Hey Mom Dad’s girlfriend makes great campfire pies!!!”…….
    11 years of this? Ok…I couldn’t endure that, and my husband put me in JAIL, so I can handle some stuff being done to me.
    Amazon…..please tell us you are divorcing and taking his ass and his twat waffle to the cleaners….or throwing them in the campfire ring.

  • RE: Dave. I think the best way ‘ease his conscious’ might be with an anvil falling from the sky (because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a conscience).

    Wow, the hubris. Sorry, Amazon Chump. That letter reminds me of the story in Seabiscuit where the jockeys used to bury themselves in huge piles of horse manure to lose weight. So glad you lost Dave-weight (who can’t even be bothered to pick a sane OW).

    • Horse manure to lose weight? Does it work? I could stand to drop 20. Sounds better than dieting and exercising.

    • hahahahhahaha,,,,,,,, OMG I am dying. Mostly because I’m a colon therapist…. I look at shit every day. What a great analogy.

  • Yep! I got this too, but in the form of one-liners from the OW! I would send a very business like request to my Ex and of course SHE handles all of his personal business! So of course I would get responses such as, ” here is the information you requested, I’m giving it to you because i am a nice person even if YOU aren’t!” Really? WTF! I asked for tax info and I get an analysis of my character? Bitch! You don’t even know me! Made me want to scream! Who do these bitches think they are anyways? Oh yeah! YOU are so nice! Fucking other people’s husbands! If that qualifies as “nice” then I’ll pass, thanks!

    • Roberta, “Who do these bitches think they are anyways?” Short answer: entitled, deserving, thoughtless, unkind, fuckwads who are severely personality disordered.

      • Roberta, “Who do these bitches think they are anyways?”

        They think they’ve “won.”

        Winning crap is still crap.

  • There are no words. Of course the UBT nailed it as usual.

    Get the popcorn ready Amazon Chump because I’m predicting a bumpy ride for Ms. Twat Waffle and your ex. Make sure you let her no that you have a strict “no return policy!”

    • A CN classic–“When a man marries his mistress, it leaves a vacancy” comes to mind.

      • Yes, exactly. The section where she brags about all her romantic trips with the cheater…..just sounds kind of desperate and as if she is also convincing herself that their relationship is perfect. I bet there is already trouble in paradise.

      • As much as we know we shouldn´t confront the OW if I were Amazon I would send this idiot a classy response such as:

        Dear SAB,

        Thank you so much for clarifying that I wasn´t the crazy one all those years that we were “sharing” my husband without my knowledge. But don´t worry about me, I have moved on because I am delighted that Dave is with someone he truly deserves. I am serious: you deserve each other! And your letter will help me get what I deserve from the divorce arrangement. For this I am so grateful that I have passed it on to my lawyer and also had it analyzed on! Its such a good letter that I think it will go viral!

        Best regards,


        P.S. “When a man marries his mistress, it leaves a vacancy”

        • I should of added poor F* to the letter:

          “..I have passed it on to my lawyer, to F* and had it analyzed on”

        • No responce to the OW in this case. It’s one thing for the fucktard to invite that thing into his life. Stand tall knowing this piece of shit is his for the keeping. Let the two Slurpees silp and slide in the hell they created with each other.
          Amazon Chump my heart goes out to you for having to deal with such a Sadistic Asshole Blow-job

  • Yeah, it was my “trust issues with men” that my STBX attributes for his reason to faceplant in real and virtual pussy smorgasbords. Twenty years of blissful ignorance, 6 years of total demoralization while unicorn-chasing, and 2 years of zero face time hopefully ends today. My divorce hearing is at 2 pm. Since he has refused to provide an address – because he’s, uh, living in his semi truck, poor sad sausage – and did not respond to notices of publication and, as far as I can tell, a continent away – I should be opening a bottle of champagne by 3.

    Just wondering if/when I should give him the good news. The way I see it, he de facto ended our marriage years ago and didn’t bother to inform me, and turn about is fair play. Wish me luck, chumps!

    • Woo hoo, WiserToday!!! We will all be routing for you & popping champagne corks today in honor of your freedom!

    • YAY!

      You go, Wiser! So glad you will be rid of that sorry excuse of a ‘guy’.

      Yep, silly you, not trusting him……The only thing you can ‘trust’ about him is that he s____!!

      So much easier to live an authentic life, contributing in a positive way to your fellow humans and to your community without the burden of a life-sucking drama queen!

      ForgeOn, Wiser……ForgeOn, Great Nation!

    • Good Luck Wiser! What a relief! Please have a glass of champagne in th name of Chumpnation!

  • I don’t even know what to say. Great interpretation UBT. I particularly identify with the “nebulous Thing You Are Going Through” as I was subjected to that nonsense quite a bit and it always made me feel horrible – CL, you nailed it. Thank you for validating my feelings.

    I also like the “Take care of yourself = fuck off and die” because that is one I have used myself **takes a bow**

    Amazon Chump, I don’t know what to say. I am so sorry you have had to go through this bullshit. All I can say is that from here I guess the only direction is up and thank goodness you are rid of those psychos. She is completely out of line emailing you. I would be pissed. I would block her; but that doesn’t do much for this email. I would imagine it will take some time for you to burn off your anger at receiving this projecting, gaslighting, blame-shifting piece of crap.

    And no…do not meet with her to “find out what’s wrong with you”. That’s just fucking insane. What’s wrong is that you had two parasitic growths. They have been removed. All systems go.

  • Love love love love when the OW think they got their shit together and are now offering you advice about leading an authentic life. Ya ! I will get back to you on that offer to meet with a counselor. Perhaps we can book a pedicure after and then go to Applebys for some sliders? Maybe Dave can meet us at Happy Hour? Rrrrrrrrrright. Smile, laugh and touch their hands/arms often. Pay the bill. Put on your coat. Accompany them to the parking lot. Quick embrace to both. Turn and get in your car. Watch as the two thugs you hired to kick the shit of of them in the parking lot…. Drive by and wave.
    Why do then always need to keep the triangle going… What is the geometry psychology there?

    • I find that interesting as well. The final OW in my case stays far, far away from me but the ex, every so often, will try to create some drama and thus revive the triangle. Since I don’t give a single fuck what he does as long as it doesn’t interfere with my life he’s left pissing into the wind, which infuriates him. I assume he’ll soon find another side piece to keep the triangle going.

      • Same here, OW has ZERO desire to attempt any tangle with this chump. I ate a TON of shit for X-hole for too long and that stopped when I found out about her. After the voice mail I left her…..not a chance she’d even think of crosding over that line, she is too much of a coward.

    • “Perhaps we can book a pedicure after and then go to Applebys for some sliders?”

      Oh Clip, you are my muse!

  • “please don’t think of her as a bad person,” SAB just couldn’t bear the strain!

  • Dear Amazon Chump

    That pathetic deranged email from the OW should make you relieved you divorced your creep husband.

    Your husband being with that nutcase is karma served on a silver platter.

    Two cheaters, two liars, two nut-cases, and it’s a matter of time when they’ll turn on each other.

    Amazon, they need you to fuel their dysfunction, they need need a victim and a scapegoat.

    Celebrate your freedom from their crazy and soon enough they will implode.

    • I think you’re right about it being just a matter of time before they turn on each other. It seems that what holds many of these cheating idiots together is the excitement of the secrecy, but once that is gone, they realize it’s just diminishing kibble and it falls apart. Yuck.

      • And they’ll never trust each other after realizing the lies they’ve told over that MANY YEARS, OMG.

      • NicoleS, you hit the nail on the head. Once I divorced my cheater and extracted every asset he once owned he then moved a state away to live with his internet Twu wuv! I left them totally alone and made sure NC was maintained by cutting off any discussion of them with any family or friends we had in common. Yep, gave them both what they said they wanted….to be together and happy! But what is so funny is that his Schmoopie just had to pop into my life via email or text every so often to stir up some shit! I guess it wasn’t enough that she had him living with her. She needed to keep the vial drama going! Guess that was the aphrodisiac that was missing after they realized that life wasn’t so great now that they had blown up two families in the name of Twu wuv! Yep! It just became the same old same old with a different man/woman in the bed at night and we all know how quickly these fucktard a bore without some drama! I don’t feel guilty or bad that my Ex and Schmoopie only lasted 5 months after he divorced me. Did not surprise me a bit. It did not surprise me when, like Amazon’s OW, that she kept the vitriol and drama going. Unfortunately it didn’t work because I refused to answer her and play the game. My advice, ignor this hardup(11 years? Really?) bitch because that will disappoint her and piss her off. Just give that little email to your lawyer and let them use it to derive something good for you and your kids!

        • Roberta- The “reap what you sow” aspect of your story is such a good reminder for us that there is justice- it just comes with different timing. Every time I read more pieces to your story I celebrate a little- not that you had to go through it, of course, but that your husband has gotten what he deserves. Talk about letting God take His vengeance.

          • NicoleS, I understand what you mean and that’s why I share this with ChumpNation. My Ex thought Schmoopie was the entire answer to his perceived troubles! But in reality his little hag was nothing more than a bundle of trouble! She was smart enough to cover her “flaws” with plenty of window dressing, sympathetic understanding and money to get him divorced from me, but once he got a load of living with little Miss Mental disordered then he realized (to late) that everything I had warned him about her was the truth! And oh the crocodile tears just flew! I reminded him that he could have trusted my judgement after 41 years of having his back and his best interests at heart, but no, he decided that little Schmoopie was so much smarter and so much more honest with him! She really “loved” him (read lust)! When in truth she was a complete nutter! I believe that 95% of these cheaters, both men and women, who walk out on their marriages are pretty miserable, but they simply don’t have the guts to admit it was all fantasy, smoke and mirrors! Their own pride brings them right to the gutter. Hate to actually say I told him so, but I did so many, many times. The divorce was one consequence of his bad choice, but that’s going to look like a cakewalk for him now! Nobody wants to risk having a lying, deceitful, cheating asshole around now. He is reaping the harvest of some bad choices. I remember he and Schmoopie taunting me and laughing at me thinking they had it going on! Well, she who laughs last laughs best! Don’t see him laughing it up now. I just hope all of my fellow chumps get to indulge in their cheaters downfall like I did. I must admit, it is delicious revenge, God help me!

    • Truer words have never been spoken. This has been so helpful to hear. The OW has proven herself to be a total nutcase to me and his family as well. They are seriously worried about her level of craziness. I’m just sorry I have to send my daughter over to them half the time.

      But yes, they deserve each other. Two people who can so flippantly break up two marriages, ruin the lives of two precious little girls (OW has one as well), and think that it will all work out fine because they are HAPPY and that’s all that matters. I hope they stay together forever, never quite trusting each other and making each other miserable forever and ever.

      • Oh my God…”What about MY happiness”…my cheating ex whore bitch still says this to our daughter almost 2 years later. It’s ALLLLLLLL about HER happiness!!! Burn everything else down dammit! Sickening.

      • If OW is so happy why does she need to see a therapist? Why would the therapist get frustrated with her? This OW’s email is a shit salad with poor sausage as the main ingredient and a sprinkle of “I won, see I have him” spoiled croutons. Can you please gob it down and most importantly, can you write back so I can still feel important, so I can tell Dave that him and I are still on your mind?

        No Contact is truly the best chump’s strategy…

        “Let the wicked slay themselves.” – Bob Marley.

  • I’ve been doing lots of reading about Psychopaths lately and this OW sounds like one, so with that in mind Amazon Chump, I would “now” feel pity for her, she is sick and has no conscience and I can’t image living a life like that. Knowing this information also helps us detach from the insane, it did for me anyways.

  • I love those stories on Dateline where Keith Morrison is narrating a story about some broken couple somewhere; There’s years and years of betrayal, hidden assets, abuse, and a crazy AP off in the distance who keeps taunting the chump and boom, someone just snaps . . . This is exactly why some people end up shot.

    I don’t know what I’d do if the person who had been having an 11 year affair with my husband sent me an email like this. Giving me advice as to how to move on and have a happy life? Giving me a high-five for being all the woman I can be? Pulling my children in the mix?!

    Seriously, I might respond enough to her to say, unless you want to end up like Jimmy Hoffa, don’t contact me again. The nerve of these people . . . damn.

    • I think being thrown in a cement mixer and laid into the M-59 Lapeer Highway might be too good for her.

      Jimmy Hoffa was an effective union organizer. The OW’s contribution?

    • My friends and I joke around that I should write a book and call it “I Could Have Been a Dateline Story.” It is eerie how many of those stories are similar to mine and other chumps. Enter a beloved husband who everybody thought he was such a great guy. Suddenly his wife ends up missing or dead. It couldn’t be her husband, he was a boy scout leader and a deacon at his church and such a nice guy. Wait, a little more digging and turns out he has been constantly messaging an old girlfriend on Facebook and forgot to cover his tracks. The old girlfriend asks him to run away with her forever because this this true wuv and he agrees but needs to “take care” of a few things first. Shocking! Maybe he did do it. Turns out it is ALWAYS the cheating husband/wife and off they go to prison for life. Gosh they were a sociopath all along (think Scott Peterson)! Because of the depth of my husband’s secrets and cover up, I have no doubt he considered taking me out. I’m grateful every day that I am here for my kids. A year ago I would have said he could never do something like that, now I see him for the narc/sociopath/psychopath/whatever that he is.

      • Same here Nicole, I was extremely ill 14 years before D-Day (and as I later learned about 3 years after my ex’s long term affairs began). I have several friends who now believe my ex and his AP’s may have tried to poison me. The frightening part is I cannot say they are wrong. I just don’t know.

        But after D-Day as I slowly came to realize what my ex was (a sociopath), I have to believe that he at least considered offing me. I also thank god every day that he didn’t.

        • Oh and I always say that my story would make a good Lifetime Original Movie, the kind that everyone says “oh that could NEVER happen.”

          • My whole family thought my XH would kill me rather than lose half of our assets or pay alimony. I was very careful, moved out to an apartment, never let him know. I watch Dateline & 48 hours weekly and it is Almost Always the cheating spouse. They are so charming but the sad thing is that they feel entitled to have it all, and if you divorce them you’re still not safe because you dared to leave them. My XH lives on the other coast but I still keep an eye out!

            • My Ex is going to be getting his first letter from my attorney in about 2 weeks’ time and I leave the country for two weeks just around then. He will be livid as he thinks that he can continue to give me a pittance while he lives the high life with his Eastern European girlfriend. He has no intention of dividing up our assets. I too, am afraid that he will do something quite destructive to the home I live in or to me. Dreading what it will bring in terms of retaliation.

              Chump Nation is what keeps me strong. Thank you all.

          • Oh Kelly, that’s awful. You never know, he could have done it. What convinced me that my stbx is capable of anything is that he was extremely cruel to he and his own sons. His own boys sobbed and begged him not to do the things he was doing and not only did it no phase him, he seemed to enjoy it and he doesn’t deny that he enjoyed it. Full blown psycho.

  • As awful as this letter is, I would take a little bit of joy in it. OW is clearly nervous and things aren’t going the way she thought they would. After all, Amazon Chump is allegedly a bat shit crazy man hater with all sorts of issues and yet, when served with divorce papers, Dave wants to stay married? He has his out and doesn’t take it? Hmm. I think a very faint little bell is going off in the deep recesses of OW’S brain, buried under thoughts of marshmallows and hotel rooms and a map of the US and pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, and she knows she is nothing more than a common OW, albeit a long term one, who has wasted 11 years on a cheater.

    • Ha, I think you nailed it Carmella, she is worried and hoping by telling AC everything, she won’t want Dave back, problem solved. I might even send an email back and tell her, don’t worry he’s all yours now, the divorce is going through, sleep well now :). Something that simple.

    • You are spot on, Carmella. It’s was this part that told me that twu wuv happily ever after was not happening.

      “Dave and I spoke last week of his need to ‘ease his conscious’ and ‘anxiety’ by making an attempt to assess your relationship without having me as a best friend/confidant.”

      He’s getting ready to dump her ass, and she knows it. She’s desperate and flailing around for anything that “might save the relationship” including telling Amazon Chump anything and everything to make her run from “Dave” as fast as she can. Too bad for Twat Waffles that she doesn’t know that she already “won” the jerk.

      • oops, sorry. I missed the part that this was sent during reconciliation after the first D-Day and that Amazon Chump divorced the creep after the second D-Day. Carmella was still spot on, it is the letter of a desperate twat waffle to keep her ill-gotten man and try to get Amazon Chump to run for the hills.

        • Can you imagine anyone thinking that someone else may want that piece of shit? Delusion much?

    • Yes! Yes! Yes! Carmella is spot on! My Ex professed his Twu wuv of Schmoopie over and over again prior to divorce! Sat in deposition and announced his intention to divorce me and marry her as soon as he could! Then he got his divorce and never even got close to marrying the bag! His brother asked him when he was going to marry her and he said “never”! Guess that must have pissed her off! Now he’s just a lonely, homeless, jobless old fool! She and he split the sheets, but she made sure to clean out the joint bank accounts! Got to hand it to the gold digging hag, she wasted no time getting rid of her “soul mate”! Bwahahahaha! So much for fairytale romances!

      • Amazing! He got financially ripped twice? That’s gotta hurt! BTW, how’s his health?

  • I think of the OW as very clever. What she did was give the wife a whole lot of things to think about. I’m sure the wife is now wondering when all those trips took place, going over and over this new information in her head. The OW just made everything fresh again. If the wife was on the fence as to whether she wanted to reconcile, this would most probably push her away from reconciliation. THAT IS EXACLY WHAT THE OTHER WOMAN WANTS..she doesn’t give a shit about the wife and her feelings, she wants to turn the knife and make the pain all new again. She want the husband to think she’s an awesome person by offering to assist in counseling. The OW is afraid that she is losing the husband. Afraid that the reconciliation just might happen and she’d be out. This was with the dual purpose of looking sweet and helpful to husband and rubbing the wife’s face in it. She will tell husband that she wanted to help his wife and can’t believe that she took this all wrong. Explain that wife is crazy for this letter renew her rage. She will comfort him from mean, mean wife…

    • Exactly! This e-mail was purely intended to rub Amazon’s face in the affair so she would have second thoughts of reconciling. Skank kept referencing the “patterns of 26 years” referring to Amazon’s failed/doomed marriage and how it is not meant to be. So ex cheating husband is a sniveling little weakling that has now hooked up (or more like stuck) with a psychopath. Works for me:)

    • Didn’t this dope just give Amazon Chump a confession of infidelity? I hope she takes both of them to the cleaners.

      Amazon Chump, whatever you do, don’t even acknowledge receipt of OW’s email. It will drive her batshit crazy when she realizes she’s not worth a response.

  • The total lack of self awareness in these people (the cheaters and their APs) is truly stunning. We know the cheaters are generally self-entitled nut jobs, but it also makes sense that the AP would have to be too. Why else would you date a married person unless you had your own issues to sort out?

    I pity the therapists and counselors whose job it is to try and figure any of these folks out. Good lord they are all deranged.

    • I think the OW that write letters like this, or articles on HuffPo XOJane etc, bragging about their exploits are a special kind of deranged.

      • And CL, right on cue on HuffPo today: A married woman with a “perfect life” and children divorced her husband for another married man (and is sad that he didn’t end up divorcing his wife for her like he said he would, so now she’s alone).

        This is probably a good summary of what is going through my wife’s head right about now. I think her married AP made her promises to leave his wife that he didn’t keep either (she’s been posting those BS narratives on Pinterest about having a broken heart and needing to be free to chase happiness). I just need to get the nerve to finally just divorce her myself. I would love to see the narratives she posts on Pinterest after that.

        Anyway, the self-entitlement and total lack of consideration the HuffPo author shows for her spouse and her kids both enrages me on the one hand, and just plain confounds me on the other. I just can’t wrap my head around any of it.

  • Ran across a Blog this weekend that brought tears to my eyes. The wife had been chumped for 40 years and now seems to be defeated….” MY JOURNEY INTO DARKNESS- THE STORY OF THE WASTED LIFE OF PATRICIA STOCKTON AKA PATRICIA HUFF”…..Maybe you could find some time to check in and show her some Chump Nation love……My take is that she desperately needs it…..Just the title of her Blog speaks volumes.

  • This is manipulation of the ninja level. The dysfunction is mind blowing. This letter has sent me into a wake up call, this is not my xh, this is not my ow.

    Good LORD.

  • Four words sum up that entire bizarre OW letter:

    – Cognitive dissonance.

    – Bat-shit crazy.

    • Here- “I went to counselling, but I’m a horrible person, so I will pass the advice along to someone with a conscience…. ” seriously… Some people’s children

  • This letter is an incredible specimen of mindfuckery and self-absorbsion. AmazonChump, stay strong!

    Thanks to the UBT for taking this one on. Nailed it!

  • This letter is simple.

    SAB/OW is essentially saying: “Dave is not over you – and in case you Amazon Chump are not over him – I am going to tell you a bunch of things to make sure I sabotage any remaining feelings you have for him. So, to twist he knife in as far as possible, I will inform you of gifts,lies AND trips with your kids you may not have known about; and further, I will render a verdict that your marriage was bad for 26 years, was not part of God’s plan, and that you are a good person who should not be willing to put up with lying,cheating, house-hunting with his f-buddy Dave.”

    My thought? — God does have a plan for sure – and it is to smite down SAB, the horrendous home wrecker and attempted head wrecker of Amazon Chump…………….

    Amazon Chump – you are mighty – do not listen to one word of this insecure, desperate, home wrecking, psycho-babbling and crazy B#@CH. This letter is beyond appalling.


  • I’m glad I never got anything like this from the OM. It would take some serious restrain to not reply.

    AmazonChump – this is totally a challenge for you to open that door so she can really mess with you. Pandora’s Box. Don’t do it! It’s a childish dare and she is indirectly calling out, calling you chicken. She’s almost begging for a response so she can have centrality. NO CONTACT. NO CONTACT. NO CONTACT.

    • I wouldn’t have that restraint. I’d reply myself into an orange jumpsuit for 20 years to life.

    • Absolutely. The disordered OW cannot wait for Amazon to go off on her, thus allowing the OW to “win.” In reality, the best way to win with disordered folks is to ignore them. Total silence. Crickets. That drives them crazy. The moment you engage with them in any way, ESPECIALLY if you go off on them with anger, you have played right into their hands and given them what they want… power over your emotions. By staying silent, you retain the upper hand. It can be hard not to respond though, believe me, I know.

      • You know what’s worse than hatred? Indifference. I hope Amazon Chump ignores this letter.

        I have ignored ALL the ex’s emails – and finally they stopped a few months ago (DDay was nearly 3 years ago, and divorced over 2 years). It worked. He finally stopped bothering me.

        • Oh he’ll continue to pop in every so often-hoping for some sort of reaction (good or bad) and you are so right, indifference is exasperating to just about everyone but especially for the cluster b group.

  • I got to the part where she invoked God has a plan. Oh, how I remember hearing that from my ex-wife. “God just wants me to be happy!”

    Really. I’m not sure the word happy appears, or is at least prominent in scripture. Depending on the translation, it does appear in The Beatitudes in Matthew. But then it says things like, “Happy are the poor in spirit, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs.”

    I don’t recall happy are the cheaters….

    In fact, all you have to do is look at the story of David and Bathsheba, the sword never left David’s family from that time on.

    For those who invoke the “God wants me to be happy…” defense should really spend less time with other people’s spouses and/or spend less time frolicking with those who are not their spouses and more time actually studying the faith they claim to follow.

    I don’t think the “worlds” definition of happiness is even close to what scripture describes as God’s definition.

    James 1:2-3 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

    (I don’t see cheating in that, nor any hint that you should cheat. I see the opposite. If things are difficult, which could include your marriage, work on it. No, I’m not saying remain with a cheater, or a beater or similar. But if you disagree on where to eat, etc, that’s not a marital crime… you don’t need a new spouse if one of you is vegetarian and the other an omnivore.)

    Proverbs 1 is also a pretty good warning and outline. The bottom line is if you satisfy your lusts outside of the plan of God, you sew your own destruction. Too few are willing to learn true wisdom.

    While I realize not all are willing to embrace Christianity, to me, I see wisdom in not having sex with someone who is not your spouse if you are married or single.

    If you married, you likely made some sort of vow with your spouse to be true to them. If not, then by not sleeping with those with whom you are not married, you will not unwittingly end up sleeping with the spouse of another.

    • I agree with your post. But there is one question I struggle with. Is it okay to sleep with someone you know for sure is single, when you are single ? According to my evangelical church, you can only sleep with someone you are married to. This makes the whole job of dating even uglier, because one has to make prospects wait forever, something that is bound to fail in close to 100% of cases. Who would take the risk to marry without having spent the night ? I am lost. I hate to be trapped in the dating zone again. And I do not know how to handle multiple dates in parallel. I resent the fact that I have to date again at 55. Even if many prospects seem to like me. It’s just something I hate to do.

      • I’ll tell you what I tell my 17 year old daughter, no one died from not having sex. So if some boy(man) is trying to make that argument, they are not being honest.

        Not saying it’s not difficult. It wasn’t easy at 17 and while I’m re-married in my 50’s, I can’t imagine it would be easier today.

        I’m an engineer, not a theologian. It’s my understanding that sex meant for marriage. I think that part, evangelicals get right. If someone is trying to convince people that sex is dirty or shameful, well, I don’t think scripture makes that case.

        I think some do some pretty shameful things to “get sex.” After all, if someone is cheating on their spouse, or lying to convince some young girl that he just has to have it or he’ll die, or whatever lies women tell men (fake boobs, fake pretty much everything…), then that’s pretty shameful.

      • Listen, these are good guidelines. But at age 55, I think you can adjust the guidelines set out by the church. It does not make you a bad person. It makes you a person who is in charge of developing a healthy life.

        Dating is about finding out if you are a good fit.

        So, what are your rules for dating? Yes – you can set those. For example, you won’t sleep with someone until after 6 dates or 6 months. Those are the rules you choose and that you communicate/agree with the person you are dating.

        If you are dating multiple people, tell them. Tell them what your conditions are. “I like you and want to find out more. But I am not ready to be serious and I not interested in getting physical. Since I am new to this, I won’t even think of getting physical until I date someone for 6 months.”

        It is tricky at first but men respect honesty and clarity. PLUS you need to ask and understand their rules to see if you are actually on the same page.

        Good luck!

      • I’m have not a religious bone in my body, but I think if your church and religion are important to you, you’ll find someone who has the same values as you, like no sex before marriage. If a guy can’t wait for that, he’s not for you.

        I think two single people can do whatever the hell they want, but that’s me. You have to decide what you believe.

    • Bravo Uniballer. I HATE that ‘God wants me to be happy’ shit, and I HATE people who trot out God when it’s convenient for them, and pervert His word to suit their own agenda.
      And the other side of the same coin-”God hates divorce,” usually invoked when trying to get a chump to stay with the spouse that betrayed them, when they see the reality of losing their kids, half their money, and their perfect public image.
      In Jesus Cheater logic divorce=bad, adultery=A-OK?

      • I am not religious but I thought infidelity was one of the only biblical justifications for divorce. Somebody correct me if I am wrong.

        • As with everything else in Christianity, it’s a debated topic. Most agree that you can divorce an unfaithful spouse. There is a fringe that suggests you can’t or if you do, you can never marry again. There is a whole “standers movement” that believes you should stand for reconciliation with your unfaithful spouse. There are others who take out of context the scripture that says if a woman divorces her husband, she should is to marry none other than her former husband… 1 Corinthians 7

          This of course ignores other passages that speak about divorcing an unfaithful spouse. Not to mention Matthew 15, on church discipline. If someone is sinning, you are to go to them in private, if they won’t stop, take it before the leadership in the church and if they still don’t stop, then it’s a matter before the whole church. If after that, if they still don’t stop, they are to be treated as an unbeliever.

          Well, let’s take it back to 1 Corinthians 7:15, what does it say about an unbeliever? “Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.”

          So it’s my view that no only can you divorce an unfaithful spouse, but because they are either an unbeliever or are to be treated as one because they refuse to stop sinning, you are no longer bound to the unrepentant, unfaithful spouse.

          I would never be so presumptuous to tell someone whose cheater came back that he/she must take them back. While I think Christianity is about forgiveness, and we can never refuse to forgive without facing the hypocrisy of our sin being forgiven, what right do we have not to forgive others, I think that’s a matter between God, the adulterer and the betrayed. For I would not feel qualified to tell someone if their adulterer were truly repentant, or just missing their kibbles and cake.

          See Matthew 18:21-35, the parable of the unforgiving servant.

          • My Ex and his Schmoopie would invoke God into their sickening sweet harlequin emails! It’s disgusting! They expressed that God was testing their love through all their trials with their meanie spouses trying so hard to keep them apart! Double yuck! Well, I guess whatever “God” they were referring to finally gave them exactly what they wanted and guess what… fell flat on its behind in record time! Do I feel bad for them? Fuck no! You get what you deserve in life!!! They got what they wanted and then like two toddlers they found it wasn’t REALLY all that great! Too bad!

    • “Happy are the poor in spirit, for the kingdom of heaven is theirs.”

      Love it.

  • Is this phenomenon of OW passive-aggressive mindfuck confined to the female sex? Does any male chump here have a story of his wife’s AP “reaching out.” Mine didn’t.

    • Not so much “reaching out” as taunting. Sending me texts like she was cheating the whole marriage and the kids weren’t mine (they all look like me so it was an attempt to get a reaction from me and mindfuckery) I didn’t know that I possessed the kind of restraint to not respond but I did. Now face to face would be a completely different story

      • “Now face to face would be a completely different story”

        Do you think he was trying to goad you into a reaction they could later use against you? These cheaters always characterize the spouse as horrible and the marriage unbearable to justify their cheating. I think with wives it’s usually bitchy, cold, sexless, “bat-shit crazy man hater”, etc. But I think for husbands it’s often either neglectful or abusive and controlling. Men can be sitting ducks for that kind of accusation. Good job not throwing any punches. I think that’s what they want.

      • I guess. If he wrote to me, I think I would have just laughed, and considered it inconsequential. He has poor character, yes. But what mattered to me was her poor character, not his.

        There will always be slime out there willing to fuck your spouse. What matters is that your spouse avoids such people, as opposed to being slime herself (or himself).

        • In my circumstance, I think it’s both. Her crappy character DOES affect me since it seems likely that she’ll be spending time with my son at some point in the future. It’s a double whammy for my son and me because they’re both still connected to my life and they both suck.

          I have little doubt that your internal UBT would go into overdrive if you ever heard from him. But he made it clear that he places all responsibility for what happened on her and felt very little guilt for his role in things. “It was her choice to be with me” was pretty close to his exact words.

          The ability of cheaters to compartmentalize, blame shift, and feel righteous about their shitty behavior just boggles the (normal) mind. They are indeed slimy weasels who squirm out of whatever they don’t feel like thinking about or dealing with.

          • I did learn early in my divorce process to simply delete / throw out e-mails and letters from my ex asking for another chance. The logic was that I’d already made my decision, so why save something that wasn’t consistent with it? As the divorce progressed, I also threw out other blameshift/mindfuck communications not specifically related to the legal/financials. I like to think I would have done the same had I heard from your husband, but you’re right: chances are it would have been such a surprise that I would have emotionally engaged, despite knowing better. And back then my UBT was a mere Version 2.0, as opposed to the refined, luxury model I now possess. Results could have been poor.

            I agree that you and others here are stuck in a shit situation because you don’t have the choice to fully ignore it. You have to deal with two people who want to engage on only what they choose, and choose to ignore / squirm out of anything they don’t. Two-year-old children at that way, but at least you can teach them to change. Not so with cheaters.

    • Nope, her AP didn’t. He continued her lying, but only one contact when I called her on it. He did say she was a longterm loyal friend. How come I’d never heard of him in 30 years?

  • Wow, that is so upsetting, what a fucked up bitch and the saying “with stupidity, even the gods compete in vain.” Comes to mind.

    I’m too upset after that, I think I need to lie down and recover from her nasty underhanded selfish comments. Her therapist needs shooting. I’m sorry you have to put up with that shit Amazon chump, I hope you look forward to a few years from now when their true character is shown.

  • That is a textbook example of Delusional WhoreShit. Lol, too funny. She still wants to be a side dish fuck. Boo hoo. Her husband divorced her nasty ass, and now she finds out Dave never planned to get with her anyway. Talk about STUPID

  • Sounds like Dave is playing from two decks. I would HAVE to reply to this salad of mixed nuts with the following:

    Dear SAB,

    How did you ever find out about us. I am so sorry. God’s plan.


  • Is it bad that i almost wish i had an OW to hate? I need something to concentrate my animosity towards and perhaps be able to ridicule like this but instead i just have the sea of porn stars and women on dating sites that my husband uses. I would also like an OW to come steal my pervert husband away from me so it wouldnt fall on my shoulders to make the hard decisions while he thinks he just has a little problem and is somehow constantly getting better but never actually better. ?

    • FutureChump, you don’t have to wait around for a “good” reason to leave a worthless porn-addicted liar. All you have to do is decide if his actions are ok with you or not. Know your worth!
      That being said, it did take a brisk slap in the face in the form of my husband parading a girlfriend around to get me to take a good hard look at my situation. I should have dumped the alcoholic deviant freeloader years ago.

      • Thanks Arlo! I have accepted the fact that he’s never going to ‘get better’. I’m a Christian so we are always taught that hes filling a void and needs to have a relationship with God to overcome this addiction. Sounds easy right? Well I’ve also accepted the fact that he will never have a relationship with God either. He says he loves me And wants me more but his actions always prove differently. Good for you for leaving! It’s never easy no matter what they do.

        • Do you really believe he is on dating sites and not meeting others? What does your gut instinct tell you? I found out the hard way, when you suspect there is reason. I wish I had listened to my inner voice sooner. He needs to take actions not just say words. Is he seeing a therapist? Does he do something like celebrate recovery? If not, he really doesn’t want to change. Is divorce allowed in your situation? Only God and you can decide that. Ask your church if there are some women that might coach you through this. Just be careful, often times people have opinions that aren’t based on the bible. In the end, you have to do what needs to be done in order to survive.

      • ‘That being said, it did take a brisk slap in the face in the form of my husband parading a girlfriend around to get me to take a good hard look at my situation. I should have dumped the alcoholic deviant freeloader years ago’
        Arlo, does your X know he has an identical twin brother?? That was dead on my Cheater X!

    • Give it time, FutureChump. Sooner or later he will escalate his internet fantasies into real-life encounters. They only get worse.

      • I know….we have only been married a year and a half and he lied his way down the aisle. I was young and pretty and a virgin but he did not appreciate that bc what is a normal pretty girl compared to porn stars? I thought i was fat and ugly! Now we have a baby and im really just waiting until i have enough money to leave so i can take care of the baby. I told him i want a divorce.

    • FutureChump, your husband has is an addiction. Just like a spouse who drinks too much and denies there’s a problem, your husband is denying he has a problem. Have you thought about visiting Al-Anon to see how they suggest approaching a situation that is becoming more painful to you by the day? You can’t fix his problem, only he can do that. Put your own welfare ahead of his, take care of yourself. Listen to your gut. You shouldn’t have to live in a way that makes you feel demeaned every day. Maybe talk to a lawyer to find out what would be involved in filing for a divorce, just to know what you’re up against. I know I buried my head in the sand hoping things would just get better, but they just got worse. Hope you’re talking to a counselor!

    • I don’t care if it’s an addiction – if he doesn’t treat it like one. if he’s not getting treatment, and not doing everything he can to stop- it doesn’t mean anything. because then he’s a horny toad who doesn’t give a shit about you. He is sucking away your life and your time. My husband is the same- porn porn porn. Then it escalates to messaging escorts, then it’s craigslist hook up sites. He begs forgiveness and says that’s it, he will try harder. Everything is magical for a week. Then it’s underwear in the laundry and God knows what in your cooter.— it’s not so bad- an empty marriage, pretending to be perfect on the outside, a lot of work on your part and him always just making you feel like you’re failing- and also he does nothing. Because somehow, his problem makes you feel like you’re not enough. The worst part is that I rarely get laid. I’m a dirty girl, I would put out dammit. But I don’t get it. I get “tired” or “sore” or “wired so I’m going to stay up and “read” (message some ho)” you want to get biblical? A good woman is like rubies. Songs of Solomon calls down lovers to each other, not to f-ing dating sites of ho’s…. Lay low. Collect screenshots of his dirty secrets and bills, and play nice until you are ready, then get some trusted friends to help you make him leave. Make him leave. If he’s a good dad, try to keep it civil for the baby. I’m so so so so sorry.

  • How do they even write this stuff? It’s like what monkeys would write randomly after a million years with a typewriter, it barely makes sense. 11 years. 11!!! I hope Amazon chump is getting $$$$$$ in this divorce.

  • I would simply email her back stating that I want to work it out with my husband. Please do the right thing and stay clear. Do not contact me again.

    Then divorce his ass!!!!

    It’s the little things that make me chuckle! I take them where I can get them.

    • when i was younger and full of piss and vinegar. i would have responded with something like this. i would have told her how he told me everything and how he laughed about her. how he said she was ugly, and fat. and he just didnt know how to get rid of her. i would tell her that he said she was bad in bed, and had saggy tits. and how he had to fantasize that he was doing Jennifer Lopez when he was with her. that he said she smelled bad down there and he worried about getting a disease. i would say whatever i could just to make her feel bad. and then for him, i would turn around and fuck his best friend.

      but now i am all grown up and figured out it is not worth the drama. still it was the hardest thing i ever had to do was to let her “win” and not fight for what i believed in, not fight for my husband and my marriage.

      • mrsvain, the game is rigged. There is no winning. Once you get cheated on you already lost. And it was your spouse, your best friend, that cheated you out of the “win”. The only “winner” in a cheating scenario is the cheater and they rigged the game, that you didn’t even know you were playing, for them and them alone to win. But let’s look at the prizes: cheating ho bag, cheating, spineless asshole. Damn sign us all up. Those damn prizes sure look mighty fine lol.
        We didn’t lose a damn thing. All we lost was the dead weight that was the cheater. You are not missing out on anything. He might seem to be under her control, but in reality, no one has complete control over another person, unless that person is tied up in a basement somewhere. It seems ludicrous, but seriously, you are not missing out on anything or anyone important. And all of it, all the pain, all the disillusion, all the “relationship” that you are missing, it’s all phantom pains. Just think of your ex as a gangrenous, rotting, puss filled extension that you had to get rid of. He will not be “better” for her, he will be his same, wishy-washy, slug, slime, of a “man” that he showed you he was. She’s got his balls in her purse, that is not a good thing. It’s rather laughable in fact, but that is what he “chose”. You are mighty mrsvain. Just keep on telling yourself that until you believe it.
        This life is hard, its painful at times and it’s beautiful at times. Allow yourself the “luxury” of seeing the beautiful times even though you are feeling down. This was not what our life was supposed to be, it wasn’t what we signed up for, but unfortunately this is what we got. But if you give yourself a moment to look around you, even though it is hard, it is much, much better than having that dead weight just bogging you down, not letting you be the person that you could be.
        You have been through so much in your life and your still managing. You are mighty. You just have to start believing in yourself and stop wanting to believe the “story” that should have been your marriage. If you would have known that the man you married was this thing that he is now you would have walked away screaming at his ugly soul. You believed, like we all believed, the story of them. Well fuck them. Now it’s the story of us. No nasty baggage needed. Thank you.

        • thank you for that!! all of you!! so many wise words. i guess i got tired of waiting for karma to kick them in the ass. but you are right, in truth, i dont want to be around people like that. i dont want my kids around people like that and that is why she got mad. i have to remind myself that THIS is who he really is. not the person i thought he was. it really doesnt matter if he is happy now, because he is missing out on the best thing that could have happened to him. he threw away a blessing from GOD in the form of his boys. i am blessed to have that in my life. it really doesnt matter if they are doing better then me. because i would never give up my struggles for an easy life. sure, if i gave up my kids, let my parents raise them, bail on the house payments and just use my check to buy me clothes and phones, cars…. i could have what they have. but i am not like that. i can not walk away from my responsibilities any more then i could give my kids away. (not saying anything bad to the people who had no choice)

          i am happy with what i got, i just get frustrated and tired of being strong. of doing the right thing when so many people can take the easy way and seem to do better. but you are right, i need to look at my life and the blessing i have. take the good with the bad and not worry about a man who can walk away from his children.

          i loved that psalm. and i will be printing most of this out for a daily reminder of how lucky i really am.

          thank you so much for putting it into words and bringing back from the black hole of despair. You people are super AWESOME

  • I’m all for no-contact just to not give into the triangulation and centrality that OW craves. However, I would be tempted to forward the email to hubby. I suspect that hubby doesn’t know what OW is up to and may be angry at her for sending such an email to Amazon chump.

  • Amazon, I am glad you moved on.

    I am curious what made you stay with Dave after receiving this letter? By telling you the truth (….I am not proud of my participation but suffice it to say that for over 11 years of your 26-year marriage, there has been a daily intense emotional and physical relationship between he and I…) she was obviously manipulating you so you would end it.

    The letter that OW#2 left for me in the mail box a few days after DD#2 was the catalyst for me to end the nonsense. (She was sorry too.) I was already angry but that letter — followed by a meeting with her in person — a few days later took me over the top. In retrospect, it was what I needed to go nuclear. Guess who didn’t appreciate the OW#2 manipulating me for her benefit? My EX. He later told our MC that it he was embarrassed by the way it happened. (But it was ok for him to publicly humiliate me for years, go figure…)

    Mindfuckery and manipulation. These people are something else. Go NC and go celebrate ejecting them from your life.

    CL – Best line ever: I’m not a condescending twat waffle — I’m helpful!

  • They’re all nuts. Every commenter is right; no one word can sum up the craziness. I received 2 letters from OW, signed “Be kind to yourself, Tits McGee” (real name withheld), and the audacity of that comment alone set me back emotionally, because I realized that SHE (ow) really believes she enlightened, or evolved, or whatever. Amazon Chump, you’re stronger than you know. Go no-contact, or these disordered crazies will suck you in. They. Are. Nuts.

    • They totally think they are enlightened. My husband’s AP felt their relationship was really “Life giving”.

  • This is clearly a desperate attempt at this slunt to sabotage “Dave’s” reconciliation with his wife. He asked his “best friend/confidente” to give hims pace to assuage his guilty and anxiety and “assess” his relationship ..with his legal wife. And she wasn’t having it so she sent this bullshit to try and make Amazon Chump pull the plug on reconciliation. What a desparate, conniving evil twat.

    It amazes me how many men lack the ability to see true character in women. These cheating men bring these disordered, horrid women into the lives of their wives and are COMPLETELY BLIND to the dark, evil, “broken” nature that resides behind their perky tits.


    • It’s not a gender related issue, it’s a character issue. After all, these men are not having affairs with other men. There are women willing to go along with the affair. The write the betrayed wife gems such as the example recently processed by the UBT.

      No, this is not a gender specific fault, it’s a character fault and people of poor character are equally represented in all social strata and sub-groups.

      • The married men can’t see the “true character” of OW, because of course, they’re *cheating* with the OW. They need to examine their own character. True of both cheating genders.

        If you’re a narcissist, everyone is an extension of you — so affair partners are AWESOME! And faultless. And splendid…


        • Well, until they’re not, that is. Because we all know the bloom will be off the rose at some point and then the sparkly OW/OM will suddenly start to seem a bit less shiny.

          • Every once in a while the x will meet up with an ap that is the exact same thing or even worse than they are. I know that it should have been the karma bus hitting him, but he is such a f*ing liar that he hid the ap, because she was married too and he just couldn’t see hurting her “good” reputation with her husband. What a prince huh. But anyway, it was kinda funny that he leaves me a sad sausage message saying that “You were right. she hurt me, she went back to her husband “, no shit Sherlock. He goes after the store whore, the most “popular” girl in the store, apparently the store hierarchy was just the same as high school. And the idiot x is thinking that he is around 16 or 17. He’s 44 and his ap is in her mid 30’s. Prom night all over again. Shall we write in our notebooks, in sparkly pen, K heart C, everywhere.

            These “people” are completely delusional, it’s a soap opera for them. I still long for the karma bus to show itself to the whole county. That would have made it good for me. But alas, the x is a chivalrous knight in shining tin foil and he didn’t flaunt his “much” younger ap to the whole world. Woe is me. Actually I don’t need the karma bus to show itself to me. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the damn bus will run his ass over. I don’t need to see it, I’d like to see it, but I don’t need to see it coming or running his ass over. He will get what he deserves and it will be awesome and I don’t need to see it. Life if just like that.

          • “conversations” with “me” all performed in her head without me actually being a part of them…

            Yes sign me up for this special kind of mind f*ck. the x blamed me for him not dating in high school. I’m 4 years older than he is and we met when he was 21, graduated 3 years prior. Um, sure f*ckwit, try again. And he sure as hell did, I got so much bullshit slung at me that I’m still trying to get myself out from under the pile. It’s amazing the lengths and lies they will go to, to make sure that they are not at fault for the sh*tty behavior, messed up reasoning and overall lack of any kind of character.

    • “It amazes me how many men lack the ability to see true character in women. These cheating men bring these disordered, horrid women into the lives of their wives and are COMPLETELY BLIND to the dark, evil, “broken” nature that resides behind their perky tits.”

      That’s dangerously close to saying they are timid, little forest creatures that know not what they do. It’s not that married men are idiots who just go into this “blindly”. They know exactly what they are doing. They don’t give a fuck.

      And it isn’t gender specific either. There’s plenty of male chumps here and on the other boards. It’s about character, or lack of . . .

    • Not blind-the cheaters simply do not care and rather enjoy the obsessed AP. Narcissist/sociopathic men (as well as women) are just weak souls that need and crave, the warped, obsessed attention and the chaos of the relationship. The funny thing is that they know the AP is bat shit crazy but that thrill of being the recipient of obsession is like a drug. No matter how the AP or cheater portray the relationship, love is in no way, shape or form involved with the sick union.

    • I think the cheating men don’t see it because they’re hanging out with an AP that is as disordered as they are. You’re right that the AP is obviously disordered because she is willing to date a married man.

      It’s the same with a cheating woman though – she’s necessarily cheating with an AP that is disordered because he is willing to date a married woman.

      That’s probably why all AP’s (of either sex) have some type of mental issue — because normal people (whether married or unmarried) would be unwilling to be AP’s in the first place.

      • I agree its not a gender issue (I just use the male cheater/Female OW example b/c usually the nut case, knife in the wound, emails tend to come from OW moreso than men.

        And I am certainly not excusing the cheater’s role. They are NOT timid forrest creatures who know not what they do. I guess what I don’t get is how can they be so damn blind to the true character of someone who would engage in an affair with a married person. I mean the whole thing is just a mind fuck…bc they themselves are engaging in an affair AS a married person…which is obviously of equal shittiness.

        But just the way they throw out those “oh shes really a sweet person” or “shes really just misunderstood” or “youd really like her under different circumstances” bombs….its like they have no ability to grasp the shitty nature of a person by definition that would screw another woman’s husband and insert herself into their family and life.

        • Insert meme for “You keep using that word, I’m not sure you know what word means.”

        • [img][/img]

        • “I guess what I don’t get is how can they be so damn blind to the true character of someone who would engage in an affair with a married person.”

          And that Magpie, is one of the exact questions I have struggled with as well. I just don’t get it either, and I probably never will. I’m beginning to understand that there will never be a satisfactory explanation for me, and I am coming closer to just not giving a rat’s rear end about it anymore. And that’s probably a good thing.

          • Mickey

            X bragged about the pig not caring that he was married. And as far as the multiple assaults and drug charges. He LIKES her badass trashy whore persona. It’s a good fit. And yes she has mental illness.

            I did call her to pass the torch and tell her about the serial cheating, multiple girlfriends he dated at a time. Quite the BLAMESHIFT, as she stated he will never cheat on ME. I guess he didn’t tell her about Joanne, the woman he continues to fuck on the side, the entitled whore is so very grotesque I’m hoping he stays unhappy with her for a very long time. These are very limited classless bottom feeders who get what they deserve, each other.

            • Final OW believes my ex won’t cheat on her as well, even though I was very clear, the first and only time I spoke with her, that she was just the latest in a long, long line, as I had sadly discovered. I figure he lied to her and she bought whatever bs story he was peddling. I kind of feel sorry for her because she seems to think this is True Love. Sure it is, sweetheart. 🙂

          • they are not blind they see they just don’t care. They only pretend to be dumb to it but in reality there is some thing they are getting out of the deal and your pain is the price they are willing to pay.

            • I’ve come to the conclusion that my asshat LIKES the lack of character … less pressure on him.

              Horrid person that I am, I expect my life partner to be responsible because responsibility brings good things; to be honest because integrity matters; to own screw ups because it is honorable; to have dreams and goals that require some trade-off in the short-term. For someone with a screwed up character (like my asshat–as I now realize), these healthy, productive, life-affirming traits are considered “burdens” and “demands.” You know, kind of how a young teen still lacking maturity and insight might see the world.

              So, bring on Ms. Whomever, Wherever, and Whatever who has no integrity and no expectations and suddenly life is “fun” again. At least until the short-term, immature thinking causes problems. Then, suddenly the “responsible life” doesn’t look so bad (which, I believe is why some of them come crawling back) … until the next time he feels too much pressure to grow the hell up.

              Too bad he was so good at completely faking a normal, healthy, responsible adult. Hell, Dr. Frankenstein’s monster had more integrity than my asshat.

              • Cheaters are lacking in character and integrity with little regard for their spouses or families. Many of them have thought about cheating for some time before they get together with AP.
                Cheaters are active participants, they aren’t hit over the head with a club and dragged away by the AP.
                Making a conscious decision to cheat and betray their spouse, and children, destroying lives is a vile and reprehensible.
                I have no sympathy for the cheater non for the AP but cheater is ultimately the one responsible for destroying lives of their families.

      • Because they are so deeply insecure that they get their kicks and “feel good emojo” from inflicting despair on others? They wanna rub salt in the wound. They wanna keep centrality. And they want to be ON YOUR MIND. Fucking nutcases

      • Interesting. Mine did. She was a piece of work. I’m glad I never responded to her “sorry” letter, as it was followed by 2 years of continuing the affair and telling my ex that I was the problem.

        I’m tempted to dig up the letter and post it. I’m not even sure that I have the thing. Blecch.

      • The flamboyantly disordered thought it was time we should make “peace”.
        The piece wants peace, what a religious exoerience this is!

    • I wish my X’s major AP had written me a letter so I didn’t have to waste 8 years with him before finding out about the affair (and giving him ample time to line up more fuckbuddies like dominos over those 8 years).

  • I read the letter three times. You know the comic “ahooga ahooga”!? Well, there are about a zillion oi those in this thing. This piece of crud is terrified. Once the sneaking around disappeared and he has to actually live with her it ain’t so pretty. You were together 26 years which means your children were conceived by proxy or they are old enough to know what is going on. I don’t believe for one minute that those kids were invited the the party,. One of them would have had to slip up. This woman is really nuts! Buying a house. Are you divorced yet? He has to pony up your share unless you live in Nutso land. Also, he wants to talk to you privately. Yeah, that doesn’t scare the shit out of her. This letter is so full of lies they are dripping all over the place. I cannot imagine a therapist recommending this. I will bet anything he/she never read it. She says he will never tell you the truth. Hmmmm. That means he does not want to lose you. Also, her truth is about as full of holes as swiss cheese. There is so much really stalkery stuff in this thing that I suggest you print out a bunch of copies. hand out to one and all and then use the rest for toilet paper,

    • I would definitely share it with my friends if I were Amazon Chump. It certainly helps to set the record straight.

  • Since OW has brought God into the conversation, I offer this brief translation:

    Against my will, I bring you a divine message. Do Not Trust Your Cheating Husband.
    Because my loyalties fall more to the other side, I will also glorify myself and inflict as much pain as possible as I do this.

  • Oh, I would relish a letter like this from the OW!!! I wish I could pay her to send a letter like this to me!! I would have so much fun responding.

    JMHO but this OW is illiterate!

  • ChumpLady…Be sure to take the UBT in for a tune up, because after that last translation, IT’S GONNA NEED IT.

  • Yes, OhAna they are the new mother Theresa. Whore nation. I said this before. one of the SOB cheater’s whore put a message that she has the Jesus bLood’s stamp! WTH. The whores already have the narrative that we are the “bad girl” of the movie. They are the cheaters’ salvation and the whore has the “power” to say & do whatever
    they want because they can. Still waiting while I plan. I Can not wait for the Karma bus on my SOB cheater.

  • What really feels like extra nails on a blackboard to me is the thread woven through this entire loathsome communication of the OW setting herself up as an expert on Amazon chumps feelings, life and needs.

    She knows “what you have been through and are still going through”.
    She knows that you have never had a healthy relationship and how to go about fixing that. She knows that you need to overcome your past and the way that you need to do that. She knows you need a therapist and you need to meet with her. She knows you are doubting yourself and how you feel about that …. blah blah blah

    What an arrogant, pompous, narcissitic smug, harpy.

    Amazon chump, don’t let one iota of her bullshit get to you. I would guess there is a whole lot of deflection and projection in her crap.

    • AliceUnderground – I had exactly that same reaction.

      Personally, I’ve had my cheating STBXW, her AP, some of her family, and at least two of her friends explain to me how I feel and what I am thinking, and/or discuss what I would say or how I would react about something.

      And yet, as much as they claim themselves to be experts on my innermost thoughts and feelings, not one of them has correctly guessed the simple messages I have for them in my brain:

      1) WTF?!???

      2) GFY!


      • More than anything else, I hate being told by other people how I am feeling.

      • Oh damn! Sephage, that must have been all kinds of noxious (ringinonmyownbell is right we need new terms for how toxic this stuff is).

        • vixensnagglipped – That act of repeating the stupid excuses that the OW came up with for the stupid XH… She knew he was vixinsnagglipping when she heard he had been at the store picking out chocolate chips for 6 hours.

        • Yeah, it’s just asinine when you think about it. But then, my STBXW has probably had LOTS of “conversations” with “me” all performed in her head without me actually being a part of them…

    • She fancies herself an expert on Amazon Chump b/c clearly the POS has spent the past 11 years OBSESSED with Amazon Chump. I can only imagine the countless hours logged perusing any glimpse into her facebook….and the middle of the night musings/obsessions over Amazon Chump and what an evil, tawdry person she is to have chained her poor little sausage to the radiator in the basement…rendering incapable of leaving her over ELEVEN YEARS.

      So yeah…shes an expert in Amazon Chump

      These idiots are so fucking transparent….and think they are just smarter than EVERYONE. As if you are really going to take this rotten message as some friendly email, and think to yourself “oh, how nice of her.”


      • Never thought about that, 11 Years???? Proves only one thing, “He loves cake!”, OW is in for some fun now and will eat crow soon enough.

  • I just can’t believe these delusional broads are proud of being whores. And if she was married 36 years, she is probably over 60. What happened to maturity and aging with grace. I bet she is a pretty site. She has to chase after Dave cause nobody else wants her. Eeew. And I’m late fifties so I’m not being ageist. But anyone who knows her history would not want her.

    • Nah . . . she could be about 50, if she got married at 18 right? But I was wondering the same thing. She sounds like a lovely individual.

  • Holy Hell….that’s a magnitude of crazy off the Richter scale. If Dave is actually wanting to “assess” his relationship with Amazon Chump while house hunting with the OW then he’s just as crazy as she is. My bet is that Dave was the passenger in their “one truck” while she drove around the neighborhoods pointing out all those houses for sale. There is no way I’ll ever believe that an AP writes or says anything to “help” the spouse out of concern or any other reason other than out of malice or from fear that their sparkle no longer glows around the camp fire.

    • LOLOLOL Yep. Or it may have just consisted of her perusing online MLS listings, printing a few out to show him, and he saying “Hmmmm…maybe someday. Now give me that BJ please “

  • I love the quote about leaving your wife for your mistress leaves a vacancy. I was watching a television program the other day that said the odds of cheaters who marry each other after an affair ending in divorce is 95 percent! I’d say the odds are not in OW favor…. Especially this nut bag! What’s the quote from The Hunger Games – “let the odds be ever in your favor” or something like that. Maybe that should be Amazon chumps response. ?

    • Good reply!! (‘cuz look how well the “odds be ever in your favor” worked out for most of the District representatives.)

  • Clearly she wants a response which is why it’s probably best NOT to give her one, but if I had to… It might go something like this:

    Fuck off twatwaffle. And good luck with Mr. Cheaterpants. May you both reap what you sow.

    But of course, the best answer to this is silence. Silence will heighten her guilt more.. and that is just what this bitch deserves. I really hate it when they bring “God” into it. I hope she and your XH rot in HELL!

    • I just remembered the advice I got from my Mother a while ago “Silence is Golden”. That makes sense really.

      • So true! Because there are usually not enough snappy comebacks, insults, etc. to gain satisfaction towards these defects. Complete silence speaks volumes and in years to come will be so much more satisfying than even the best put-down.

        • Exactly KB22, I retract my post earlier that I did when I remembered what Mom told me, Detach and observe like a movie is something else she said to me. Another words don’t get pulled into the CRAZY.

  • What an arrogant, narcissistic, condescending b***h of an affair partner. The stilted incorrect use of vocabulary and grammar remind me of my STBX exhibiting his narcissism. The message reminds me of the text and face-to-face conversations, both shocking and vomit-inducing, I had with my STBX’s affair partner who approached me shortly after D-Day #1. (At moments, I have wished that my disordered STBX and his affair partner (the one I met out of his many extramarital partners) would get together as they completely deserved each other. I just didn’t believe that my kids deserved to be exposed to the drunk, disordered serial homewrecker that my husband chose for an affair partner.) I hope that Amazon has a much better life without her cheating husband and his malicious, extremely disordered AP.

  • That’s just plain abusive. I too received a similar pandering email from tne OW who had been farking my cheater ex for a year or so. She needed to tell me all the reasons that I was not good enough for him, but her fat cheating thieving ass was.

    My response was fark off and die.

    Her reaction to my response? Pure evil in which she bragged about stealing some of my possessions, but fortunately sent from her work email, so I called the cops and got her fired. Small revenge, but it felt like dealing with the devil.

    I think a lot of these pathetic people get their scripts off the RIC sites. Or from Esther.

  • That is so unbelievably arrogant. Amazon Chump, we have your back. Your life from here on out will be Mighty and Blessed.

    How dare she involve your kids?

    I celebrate that you are free of this horrible twosome who seem to deserve each other.

    You, deserve, and will have the Best. Trust in God to guide you. Not the god she quotes and likely sacrifices small animals to while she dances nude around the Fire. Amazing to hear the self delusion in action justifying their ‘connection’. It called fucking.

    You take care of you. Be happy, be a bit selfish and do things that soothe your soul.

    NC with her also. I would only print off Chump Lady’s UBT, and all the responses you will see her. Let her have it, literally. She is Satan’s spawn.

    Remember you did nothing to deserve this. You deserve the absolute best that life has to offer. Prayers for you and your kids. Be Blessed. Be Mighty, Girl.

    • Then (anonymously of course) send said print out to her and a second copy to hubby (cause I’d put my money on him being clueless about it).

  • This crazy ass fucknugget is desperately begging Amazon Chump to not steal HER man away!?!? (‘Pretty pretty please!!! I’m so nice and care so, so much for you! Will you pleeeeeeaaase care for me too? You couldn’t possibly be a big meanie to sweet ol me and take away MY man!!! Right?”)

    I’m definitely still in the “fantasies of disturbing acts of revenge” anger phase on my journey to meh, so I’m thinking all kinds of crazy about how I would respond to this twat slop. (I emphasize FANTASY…. I wouldn’t actually do… well, at least not like 98% of any of it 😉 ). But really, I HATE this skank so much that my mind was churning over several of above mentioned fantasies, and I had to imagine what she looked like because I don’t even really know this slunt! Yet, I want to stick a roasting rod up her cumdumpster and slow roast over a campfire to death!

    I’m otherwise such a caring and generally nice and pleasant person. I’m an educated, upstanding professional (high school biology teacher). I genuinely care very deeply for others, to the point that I often (probably a bit too much) put their needs before mine. (Although my “bitter” posts here probably paint me much differently ;).). NEVER before in my life have I ever felt anywhere close to the profound anger, rage, absolute disgust, and pure hatred towards ANYONE – until I had the most unfortunate displeasure of fall in love with a manipulative, lying, cheating, abusive, and incomprehensively disordered Pigfucker!!! I have such a distain for these scumbags and they stir up such dark and disturbing feelings and thoughts in me that I never could have previously imagined possible!!!

    • Got 99: I would describe myself similar to you and what I told my Cheater after Dday is that what I most hated about him was that he made me have all these horrible feelings towards the person I used to love most in the world. And he turned our “special” relationship into another statistic as well as had no problem in hurting our children. The letter from SAB shows how arrogant, entitled and lacking of empathy all these cheaters are. She blamed all of Amazon´s miseries on her and took very little responsibility for what she did and didn´t even care that she destroyed her own husband of three decades in the process. What a selfless, mean, destructive, arrogant, envious, stupid person this OW is! And she is probably just the same as any other AP, except that she dared to write it down…

  • Poor Amazon Chump!!!!! Listening to this crap AFTER she had to get over TWO rounds of betrayal! I don’t have anything constructive to say, but I DO have to go THROW UP!

    Amazon Chump, I hope this bitch dies from syphilis!…that ex-shithead gives to her……while they are on their honeymoon……

  • Yes I still live with my cheater…. funny watching Criminal Minds last night…. a guy killed his wife’s AP…. and I said see what this drives people to…. she never said a word and quit watching…. I think they believe it is a victim less crime….. its just sex. These people are just disordered. The above lady uses God… did she forget adultery will give you a ticket straight to HELL?

    • DavidB–why are you still with the cheater? And how do you maintain your sanity if she’s in the same house?

      • Good question, T. I found that scenario to be extremely toxic and giving off bad bad vibes to my kids still at home. Getting rid of toxic waste and being a positive role model for my kids was more important than the new, improved asshat v2.0.

        This supposed improved version lives under the guise of “authenticity”. What that means is the cheater gets to try out a new skin and he chump must never, ever, ever resume their former authentic life. That would mean consequences for the cheater. They don’t like that so much.

          • All in my plan….. I do not expect any one to understand or agree with what I am doing. But I hold grudges and can do whatever it takes to finish what I have started!

            • I know how hard it was to have Narkles the Clown in my house for the five months it took for me to get the divorce done. I understand that you have a plan and that’s good. I just hope you are taking time each day to remind yourself that the toxicity you are swimming in is temporary and that you have a light at the end of the tunnel. The day Narkles the Clown moved out was absolutely glorious. I hope you can experience that feeling too.

              • Not to go into big details. But there is a reason for everything. I have mine. It is not because I can not stand the thought of leaving. The day is coming and its going to be hard core when it goes down. Unexpected…. you might say.

            • DavidB

              One of the questions I was asked years ago by my therapist was, “Why do you torture yourself”. I sat in shit for many more years. Then I had enough. I found the answer. I tortured myself because I never wanted to face the pain of living my life with a serial cheater who loved only himself. If it’s for financial gain or for the sake of your children then yes, waiting may be to your advantage. However, if it’s for revenge it’s not worth it.
              Dave, know that once you leave, the pain lessens over time. You WILL live a better life. I hope your taking care of you. Just sending support your way because you deserve better. Your not alone, we are here.

    • David B, I lived with my cheater for over 3 years. I didn’t know how to handle the situation; I wanted to minimize damage to my family as much as I possibly could. What’s interesting is that once I (appropriately) told my kids what was going on, I knew in my heart that I had to divorce him. I just couldn’t perpetuate to them that cheating was acceptable, and that it’s okay to compromise your values, or self-worth. These are life’s BIG lessons… the principals they’ll call on when times are tough. It took me over 3 years, but I finally figured it out. It sucks in a huge way that my original “growing old together” plan didn’t work out, but I feel that I’ve at least been able model for my kids what to do when your life begins to suck!

      • Who wants to grow old with a psychopath anyways??? imagine changing their bed pan when they’re old and debilitated and can’t wear their mask any more. That thought horrifies me!

        • Kate50

          Yes, I can see it now. He’s sleeping with the pillow between his legs and the plug for the heating pad running between us. Oh shit he drank a six pack and no doubt will pee the bed. Yet I have to initiate sex. Hmmm…… Na, she can have that. That was mr fuck whatever. But you know he’s a GOOD GUY and she reportedly is a good Christian and hung her rosary beads in his mirror.

          She has the sociopath. What a relief. I can’t imagine my life with him anymore. Gross

  • WOW. A masterful piece of mind fuckery and manipulation. It really makes me wonder; Do the disordered types who write these mind-boggling emails/texts first work out a rough draft, edit, rewrite and re-read before sending them? Or does this corrosive evil ooze out naturally, like pus from an infected sore?

    • Fucktard’s Literary Genius OWhore apparently had three modes: unceasing chatter, obsessive writing, and legs spread. Fucktard went on a trip. She sent him almost FIVE HUNDRED texts over 4 days. She sent him SIXTY FIVE PAGES of emails. They spent OVER EIGHT HOURS on the phone. (Although I think Fucktard probably just put the phone down and let her chatter.) It wouldn’t surprise me if he asked for BJ’s just to shut her up.

      And she claimed that she rewrote constantly. Based on her output I wonder that she ever slept.

  • Before I read any comments (which I’m quite sure will be gloriously and sharply funny) can I just say I sat here reading this nonsense with my mouth hanging open and the only word that kept popping into my brain was the one CL despises. Yes, it begins with a ‘C’. A capital ‘C’. Holy shit.

  • Well..All I can say is I hope she saves this letter and sends it back to the twatwaffle ow when the ‘loving husband’ cheats on her. Cause you can bet he will, probably already is. Would love to be a fly on the wall for that. My counselor says she sees these ow all the time and yep, they truly believe this same line of bull that this one does. Shes says she just can’t get the them to realize that they are being used as much as the wife is being played. Can only shake my head at the shear stupidly of this idiot female and know that her time on the shit sled is coming. Once they get the commitment from them….cheating asswipe’s balls are back in play….its only a matter of time.

    • That’s actually a really good idea, print it off and keep it in a safe place and when that day comes down the road when AmazonC hears he’s cheated on this AP, send it to her!!!

  • I have a visceral reaction to push this woman away from Amazon Chump as far as possible! What a piece of work! So evil in her guise to be “helpful.” She has no right to approach Amazon Chump, or communicate with her in any way. Amazon Chump only needs to communicate through her lawyer with her ex to work out the settlement, without advice from Twat Waffle. For that woman to spend 11 years in an adulterous relationship with another woman’s husband, and to go camping with their children, is just sick. Sick, sick, sick. She takes a sick and evil delight in pretending to be “helpful” while she twists the knife. If she were truly a good person she’d apologize for being such an entitled narcissist, then stay as far away as possible.

    Amazon Chump, you are SO MUCH BETTER OFF WITHOUT THESE TWO SICK PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. You can go on to create an authentic life for yourself, and it will be so much better than living with these two liars in it. We understand what you’re going through. You’re going to be just fine, you will probably feel healthier and happier than you’ve been for YEARS once you’re free of this deadly duo.

    I would definitely not respond to this woman, and would block any further communication from her, even if it meant I had to change my email address and phone number.

  • Amazon,
    Don’t respond to the OW. Don’t forward a copy to Dave. Do make a copy and give it to your attorney. Keep the original in a safe place.
    I’m very sorry these fuckwads included your children in their adventures. This is abusive to your kids.

    • Also Amazon, many have already asked: where is your gut taking you? Are you reconciling or are you moving on?

      • Just re-read. You have already divorced his adulterous ass! I still wouldn’t respond to the desperate AP or send Dave a copy. Not worth the postage. Those two made their own bed. Let them lie in it forever. Isn’t this where revenge is best served cold? I still feel strongly that including your kids in their fantasy life was horribly abusive.

  • I am confused….what is this? Sounds like a big circle of gibberish….. The only part I got was “You’ve been second guessing yourself and said in an Email that you’ve “been played for a fool”. And I know this because I have been made to feel the same way!”

    -That part made me giggle – OMG poor poor homewrecker.

    And I’m not exactly sure why she included this line of stupidity:

    “included many out of state/in state trips (including M****, camping with the girls, MN, NC, TX, OK, AZ, CO, CA), countless meetings in homes, offices, public places, shared workouts/walks, gift exchanges, thousands of phone calls, Emails, there’s nothing we didn’t discuss and many, many lies and deception to you.”

    Point please????
    She sounds like a complete senile bitch. Run Amazon.

  • I am becoming somewhat desensitized to the level of mind fuckery and horror that these people inflict reading about everything that everyone here suffered in CN. But this one, made me want to hurl and reach through the computer and punch her in the throat. Then she puts a cherry on top of it by saying that XH and Satanspawn, took your kids camping… and you had no knowledge of it. That just makes me do a deep and abiding burn…I am not sure I would ever get over that. The other thing I would do is have a sit down talk with the kids and explain betrayal to them. Explain why that was wrong. Explain why you don’t like slunty in what ever terms you feel are age appropriate to explain a human toxic waste dump.

    My XH took my two daughters to this fancy schamcy event where he was getting an award and took slunty with him. On the day he got his award, I was in court getting our divorce. December 19… He asked my daughters not to tell me. As he was moving away to be with Slunty this July, he was asking if we could be friends, when he told me they had been there with slunty. Pretty much put a lid on any idea of being friends. I told him in no uncertain terms,not in this lifetime and not in the next. I did not want my kids near that woman and my kids are grown. I said it with such conviction that somewhere in his pea picking inhuman brain, I think he understood I would be uncontrollably pissed. (We need new words in the english language for my emotions, apoplectic doesn’t cover it.) Both of my daughters apologized and both said they felt really awful about this. I wonder if that is the reason he has stopped communicating with them… nah… I get the phone records and he doesn’t communicate with slunty either. The mask of sanity is falling.

    Chumplady… we need new vocabulary words for this shit… that would be a creative thing for the nation to take on… and we need to write the kind of letter we might accept from the Slunties.

    Toxtitsitis – An oozing drainage coming for the only one nipple, after rough sex with XH or XW when hooking up for a threesome on craigslist. Come on you guys… you can do it better than me.

    Creepenspity- The kind of feeling sorry yourself that an XH has after learning you keep the house, the kids and all the friends and he is hooking up with a toothless meth addict in his car.

  • The intent in the “you said in an email that you’ve been ‘played for a fool'” line is to show Amazon that her husband is “letting” OW read her private emails. IE OW is logging onto his devices after he passes out at night and reading his shit

  • This sooooo takes me back to when X#1 remarried and his then-wife did whatever she could in order to please him (her words; he was already cheating on her so she was Pick Me Dancing like crazy from the beginning of the marriage)… Even though I’d been remarried at that time for nearly 3 years to the future X#2, she lost no opportunity to whip things up between myself and X#1. Especially the custody fights. She hated that he had to pay me so much support, so she never missed a chance to try to deduct amounts from the support for completely inappropriate clothing they’d bought for the kiddo (you’re not allowed to deduct that) or get her to come live with them (they eventually kidnapped her). She would orchestrate court appearance after court appearance, alleging that I or my then-spouse were abusive, alcoholic, or neglectful. They went through lawyer after lawyer; apparently their legal representation got sick of the crazy on a periodic basis. I fought every single motion they filed – successfully – but it took its toll on the second marriage.

    To the chumps that are still going through this, an update: It’s been over a decade since the last of the craziness. I’ve remarried and moved on. I never think about them anymore, except when my daughter brings up her father’s most recent antics. His most recent spouse seems to have him on a fairly short leash, and whenever she goes somewhere for business, she drags him along. She’s smart; I wouldn’t leave him unsupervised for one minute either. The daughter that he kidnapped (twice!) is now a smart, hardworking, well-adjusted woman in a long-term, stable, supportive, and healthy relationship. She’s repeating none of the patterns to which she was exposed as a child. I don’t bring it up, but occasionally she does – and she’s exasperated by her father’s seeming refusal to grow up and adult like everyone else. Apparently the affairs never did stop. She’s embarassed by the way “Dad just can’t seem to keep it in his pants to save his life, Mom!” And the above-mentioned then-spouse of X#1 who caused so much trouble – well, the Karma Bus made a special stop for her too. Literally. She was hit by an out-of-control vehicle and will have to live with the damage that caused for the rest of her life. I almost sort of kind of felt bad for her… except I really couldn’t bring myself to, after all the damage she’d managed to inflict.

  • I thought about why did the OW write this to you and I think now that the affair is no longer a fun, exciting secret. She’s trying to find something to stimulate their sick relationship. Please don’t give her any ammunition to use for more blame shifting. Your soon to be ex will see her for what she really is. A whole lot of nothing….

  • Thank goodness for the UBT!
    I never would have gotten through the first paragraph without help because the word salad of kibble play is insane!

    “But I do know for certain that you will never be able to overcome the past if you don’t address it and in order to do that you need to have full disclosure which Dave will not provide.”

    Can’t overcome the past?
    Wanna bet bitch?
    I’m sure Amazon Chump could have overcome the past if OW had disappeared.
    Of course, I’m sure Dave would have overcome the past too, by finding another OW.

  • HEE! HEE! This is what Amazon Chump’s ex gets for a new wife? I can’t stand it! I’m sorry Amazon Chump had to put up with cheater for 11 years and the pain of betrayal but – Oh! my testimony of Karma has been restored!

  • Just a question for Divorce Minister, and maybe CL. I’m a cradle Catholic. It just infuriates me when I see people use the faith as a shield for their horrific acts. Does it bother you DM, that so called Christians use the faith as an excuse, defaulting to “we are all sinners” or “God has a plan”, when the commit atrocities? My thought is the devil will use whatever he wants to promote his agenda, but then again, it’s like with infidelity, there’s this ‘deal’ that it’s not really all that bad…I mean it’s not like it’s murder (even though it’s murdering love). I’m just curious on the perspective of how do you stomach knowing half the people in the room aren’t there to grow in the consciousness of their spirit and faith, but they’re there to assuage their guilt?

    • Scott – FWIW, I’m not religious at all, and I am also disgusted by those same things. Bastardizing religious views is just another way for irresponsible people to not own their own heinous crap.

    • Scott, “the devil will use whatever he wants to promote his agenda,” “(even though it’s murdering love)”

      Cradle Catholic here too, you summed it up in these two parts of your post. These people speak religion from the teeth out. They don’t believe anything that they are saying they just know that you want to believe that they believe what they are saying without actual consequence.

      I know that the x used my faith to keep me in line. He made me believe that he was on board with my beliefs then he used my belief to punish me and to keep me giving him kibbles.

      I was so afraid to go speak to my 80 yo priest, cause I know my priest is hard line. I knew that i had to go, there was really no choice, the x had gone to speak to the priest. I needed to be right with my faith. I go and speak to Father and I ask him, did x tell you how we got to this point? He says no. I proceed to tell him the highlights. My hardline, no nonsense, old school priest tells me to leave x. Let x figure out if and when he wants to get good with God and let x do the work of getting “us” back in line with the church, with our marriage in front of God. Blew my mind!!!!! But seriously, the Church doesn’t look kindly on those poor, timid forest creatures out looking for happiness. They made vows before man but more importantly before God. You can run from that but you can’t hide. God sees it all and justice is His.

    • Thanks Kate50. To be held down… that sure trigger emotions. Held down at work, held down at home. I used to say, I feel like somebody is holding my head under the water. I almost drowned. I had no idea there was a song about this. I never viewed myself as “ruling the world” but for sure I was creative, had always the best grades at school, full of energy, had excellent ideas, and always carried out projects to realization, even when they seemed too big for me. He did choose to keep me in the dark… so well put

  • Kate50 That’s a lovely song.. My post ^^^ freaked out and ended up in two places!

  • I agree with everyone else that Amazon should not respond in any way to her cheating husband or this sadistic OW. It is an understatement to say they are messing with her.

    It is enlightening to hear from this OW since this is what in my own imagination my own XH’s long term affair partners were thinking & saying. Thank God they never said it to me. I think it is only fitting that two narcissists/sociopaths end up together, and far from me and my children. It helps to visualize them off in their fantasy bubble as it floats over an erupting volcano and they tumble in.

    God’s words are very simple: “You reap what you sow.” Imagine.

  • Amazon, – maybe that you didn’t know for as long as you did was in some way a blessing? I mean the AP’s letter just oozes envy and wrath. Like a skillful thief she cased your life, sneaked around your children, and followed (stalked) your family for 11 freaking years. That’s a long time.

    -I think envy is a biggie at the core of the AP. Bottom line is when someone actively participates in breaking up a couple, a family, and all that goes with it, it’s about much more than “an affair”. A spouse who is complicit, or initiates, or adopts a lifestyle of betrayal is living as a fraud. –Fraud and treachery – I mean it doesn’t get any worse than that…

    I knew the AP in my situation – I had no idea about an ongoing long term affair – truly a double secret hideaway life. I knew that there was no going back, and even though the aftermath was heart shattering, the decision to kick his cheating ass out was as clear as day.

    –Thanks again for sharing that bombshell letter, AC – it rings all kinds of chimes. CL’s UBT, and all the comments and thoughts from CN are completely compelling too!

  • Oh, Amazon. This voiding of splattering off the scale crazy narcissistic ODURE can only point to one thing: THIS WAS NEVER, EVER ABOUT YOU.

    People this nuts (taking HIS children on a camping trip and holidays with a stranger NOT his wife? And failing to see the complete ABUSE of that?) need staying away from.

    People this nuts and this selfish, deserve each other. Oh are they going to make each other Truly, Truly Happy.

    Welcome to the real world, Amazon, filled with normal people, with normal quirks, who don’t lie and meet you half way, and who have boundaries. Welcome to a better life. Don’t respond ever or let them triangulate you ever ever again.

  • Oh jesus. What a self-righteous, condescending skank.
    This post makes me think back to a similar experience I went through when I was younger, with one of my cheating ex’s who had a skank who pulled this shit on me, too. This whore was in an overseas country – and kept spewing emails which were proclaiming that she was oh-so-pure and how her love was so awesome (with my ex) and that I was a nasty bitch and needed therapy and that everyone hated me, yada yada yada.

    Even though the correct response is to give no kibbles and to ignore it – my 21yr old self didn’t realise this – and I sent a short email back, which said “May you live in interesting times” (she was Chinese, so she should have known that this was an insult translated from her language) and that if she spewed any more of her nonsense, that her life would crumble around her – and I would be the one who caused it.

    Of course, she kept spewing nonsense like this to me, ramping up the crazy. I saw red. I found out where she worked – sent the CEO of her organisation a quick email with her emails attached (which got her fired) – and I got her excluded from her university degree studies (of which she applied for – they didn’t like crazy shitheads as a student, especially seeing as though she was using their internet service to harrass others – and I believe she went to quite a prestigious university in her country). I’m sure her parents wouldn’t have been too happy that she lost her job and lost her university admission. Of course, this may have backfired, but I was lucky.
    I didn’t hear about this until much later – through the gravevine. One of my friends told me about what had transpired, a bit later down the track. My response? “This is what happens when you’re stupid enough to fuck with me.”
    And this is true even to this day: If you are stupid enough to fuck with me – you better always watch over your shoulder. And the best-made weapon is one which goes to work all by itself. Crazy emails do exactly that. 🙂

      • I should also mention that his skank was underage. My third step was that I was going to inform the authorities of their relationship – which in her country was a BIG deal at the time.
        You fuck with me – I put you through a brick wall.

  • My reply to an email like this would have been ‘don’t ever contact me again you fucking slunt.’

    My ex’s slunt knew better than to ever attempt contacting me. I would have ripped her fucking head off. Proverbially speaking of course.

  • The OW in this post clearly has an agenda, and it’s not Amazon Chump’s welfare. Pretty disgusting. My cheater’s MOW emailed me twice: the first right after DD#2 to say the affair was my fault because I didn’t give SkidMark enough attention, and the second later on to apologize and say she wasn’t a homewrecker. Really? ‘Cause fucking a married man makes you… a home unifier? Oh, and she bcc’d SkidMark on the apology email, so he was all sympathetic and wasn’t that nice of her, blah blah blah… Gag. And the emails were all full of teen texting shortcuts even though she is in her late forties.

    • He didn’t! The wife divorced his ass. He preferred cake.
      Which explains the OW being side dish for 11 years. Truly fucked up! No amount of therapy can help her turn into a normal human being.

  • Late to the party, but saw this. Was this seriously written by a human being?
    Can’t believe humanity is devolving from that sh!t.

  • I am also late to the party. I couldn’t read all of that–what a revolting… person? I’m not even sure it is a person, or if it is just a pile of crap and cockroaches in a people suit. I’m surprised the UBT didn’t fry all of its circuits!