I’m a little late this year, but it’s time again for our Cheater Freak Christmas Contest!
This is how the game is played. You determine what parts of your infidelity story make you Freak of the Week. I want the weird, WTF details.
For example, my husband and I know a fellow whose (now ex) wife had special wedding rings crafted for when she and her OM had trysts. That’s a contender!
The object here is to be as SUCCINCT as possible. No essays! You can comment on other people’s submissions, but each submission needs to be three brief sentences, tops.
For example, my submission would go like this.
1) He had the same mistress for over 20 years and three marriages.
2) OW and ex apparently had a kid together and she passed the paternity off on her brother-in-law.
3) After boinking his OW in Vermont, he drove home and presented me with a one-pound bag of coffee.
Cheater freak Christmases of the past have gotten a lot of submissions (which still make for some pretty awesome reading). Every day this blog is gathering new chumps and new stories. You veterans are more than welcome to submit your previous stories, (we never grow tired of BarristerBelle’s story of her ex who jumped around furiously in a sleeping bag). One caveat — GladIt’sOver cannot play! She destroys the competition every time with her dancing Yeti ex and his gifts of half-eaten box of Cream of Wheat. We’re amateurs here, Glad.
I usually end the contest by drawing 12 cartoons for the 12 Days of Christmas (some past submissions shown below). Alas, with the book galleys and everything going on, I can’t promise that this year. However, I will draw the winning submission and you get a Meh mug!
So BRING IT ON, chumps! Let the competition begin!
1) my husband left his email up and I discovered he has something called a humiliation fetish
2) he would have OW lay over toilet and pee on her
3) he had her wear a dog collar and crawl on the floor and eat dog food.
Jan 9, 2009. That was a really ‘fun’ D dAy
Ew. I don’t think I want to draw that! However you have now put the “freak” in freak week.
The bar. It is high.
For reals …whew
Just end the competition; the Meh mug is accounted for.
Y U C K!
Who ARE these people? How do you even discover you like to pee on people?
No, don’t tell me.
What I’ve never understood is how the pee-er or shitter or observer of human-dog-food-consumer finds that special someone who wants to be the receiver of pee or crap or dog food. Do they hint at it, all subtle-like? How does that conversation even go?!
I think they breach those subjects under the guise of a joke to see if they bite…or they find each other on Craigslist where they advertise for that freaky shit. I know X-hole posed a “whadayathink about the back door?” comment to OWhore…when she gave a negative response he played it off as a joke and responded “Oh I’m not like all the other guys”. Whatever fuckhead, no you’re NOT, you’re worse.
NCStevie, my ex husband was having ED issues and I suggested that he mention this to his doctor at his annual all over medical check. When he arrived home I asked him what the doctor thought and making it into a joke, he laughed and actually tickled me at the same time, he said the doctor suggested that to get the ‘spark’ back he should have sex with someone other than me because we had been together so long!! I don’t believe for a moment that the doctor suggested infidelity but I suppose it is possible. The joke was on me eventually.
Surfer
It’s the new doggie style?
I actually think they’re out looking desperate. I want to be whipped, sort of raped and sort of abused. It’s exciting. My husband is vanilla, as am I. (how boring, right?) Do you know what a butt plug is? I do – it gets your anus ready to absorb your big gorgeous dick. I think it’s a tighter source for a guy, personally, once the vagina doesn’t do it for them anymore. I once read a story on IRC a long time ago about a woman that set herself up in a motel room. Never met the guy. She blindfolded herself – he was her DOM, after all. And waited for him. He came in and handcuffed her and, my God, she was thrilled with it. She had 3 young kids. She actually showed up at my house one day and I was horrified.
I put the kids in the pool, played with the dogs and sent her on her way.
She was a total mess and my H was horrified.
I thought I could help her. ack!
Or low bar.
Ewwww, TMI. She chump, you are not considering the homosexual and misogynist issues here.
I can tell you that the misogynist issues are a big concern for me as he’s the father to my three daughters!
Ewwww. OMG. And yet again, ewww.
So you definitely weren’t the only one calling the OW a bitch…
Hehe!
Ha!
Holy crap, NoWire. That’s pretty good right out of the gate!!
That was my exact thought! Wow…right outta the gate!!!
Wow! you should be happy to be rid of that guy. Weirdo with a capital w. No problem with wanting him back.
That’s enough internet for me today. Thanks NoWire.
How the heck am I suppose to follow that?! 🙂
Pretty sure you are the winner, NoWire.
But you win already if you are rid of the fuckwit. UGH….too early for that!?
D Day was Jan 9. 2009 late at night . It was a Friday. I was at the lawyer’s office first thing that Monday morning. The things I read had in those emails. Truly horrific. and I was 7 months pregnant.
Thanks NoWire, now I have the song “Superfreak” by Rick James playing in my head. I really hope it doesn’t camp there all day.
That’s perfect. Rick James was accused of kidnapping a 24 year old woman and keeping her as a sex slave.
OK, I think the competition is over after the first submission!
I can’t compete with that, only because he changed his f_e_t_i_s_hdotcom user ID and password before I could get past daily “public humiliation” emails featuring nude collared women being led on city streets, waiting at bus stops. I didn’t know they took the bus.
“I didn’t know they took the bus.” Bahahahahahahaha!
You know, that’s my problem with BDSM. I don’t understand how people could be in those situations and react with arousal rather than laughter.
…..or just plain disgust. Wtf?
There is no unreading this..
HAHAHA…there’s no unreading this for sure! Honest to dog there are actually women out there that think so little of themselves that they would subject themselves to be pissed on by some married dude and crawl around on their knees and eat dog food?? Oh for fuck’s sake.
What in the actual fuck did I just read…
This is just sick. There’s kink which might be arousing, and then theres this crap. Who in their fucking right mind gets turned on by this shit? Answer is: They don’t. Only disordered people do.
True. Disordered people think they are somehow missing out on something, so they do weird kinky stuff. They think they are being wild and edgy and sexy. But it’s not. It’s not new, it’s disordered.
Who is going to top this? Close down the competition! NoWire, I am trying to find the positive in this, the only thing I can think of that it is SO disordered and split, you could instantly be in no doubt that this is not about you.
Chumpy co-dependent controlling him-focussed Chumps look hard to see what they could have done different/appealed to finer instincts (boy did that delusion take up years of my life). This instance? Nope. Just plaaaain deceitful on every level.
Patsy- I saw your deleted comment on my feed, relating to RIC, and how the Cheaters excuses call us out as not attractive and what not, and you mentioned that you’re no oil painting, but you see people who are less attractive and less of a good spouse and they don’t get cheated on. You ended by saying it’s not about us. You’re absolutely right. The RIC and the cheaters and often the affair partners stick this button on our lapels that say ‘you didn’t measure up’ and that’s exactly where they falter. I did. You did. I didn’t cheat, I worked hard, I talked honestly, I dug in when things were nasty to try to be the better person, and. It turns out he was looking for strange, incapable of real intimacy and I am nothing but a fake plant in his office lobby to keep people thinking he is normal. If anything, you were picked because of how good you were to help him pass as not a terrible person. I’m sorry you are still working through this. I’m sorry for all of us, really. Just wanted you to know- I think you probably clean up pretty nice, I’m certain you will find a new better world. Happy holidays
There are…..no words.
Wow. Is it just me or is anyone else having thoughts of a woman putting on the dog collar, crawling toward the man and biting the crap out of his ankle?
Yeah, but more like take a chomp off his balls and then run with them.
1. On Fathers Day he announced to our son the computer iscreen was frozen on a message asking for money in order to remove his access to child porn. He said, “do I have to pay it”? “I’m not sure how it got there”.
2. After seeking treatment for STD for a month he bragged he didn’t have one. He wasn’t aware the documentation came to the house.
Gawd, your poor son! Yuck.
Father of the Year award.
Oh boy, just when you think NoWire has won hands down …. that is just sick, Donna. So sorry for you and your son.
1: my ex husband got the kids a puppy (pedigree of course) and gave it the same name as his affair partner.
2: I inherited $60 000. He took it, paid off his debts and left 6 weeks later.
3: he just got a court order forcing me to let him take the kids over seas for a Christmas holiday….with his affair partner now girlfriend. I have still never seen her or heard her voice. (I have however read about ten thousand texts that they saved as a document of their special love so I have a pretty clear idea of her moral character and contribution to irreversibly changing my children’s childhood)
I hope you have a pit bull attorney! Inheritance isn’t supposed to divided in divorce. It’s yours.
It depends on the laws in your state.
I’m not in the US so it’s different again
Thank you. Working on getting it back.
“Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”
aw…that was my Dad’s favorite poem. Read it, Opal and go get him. He’s despicable.
If you “co-mingle” it in a joint account, as in directly deposit into a joint account used by you and the cheater, the moment it hits the bank, it is considered marital assets. At least in IL
In TX, any inheritance is considered not marital-property (even if in a joint account).
I received the maximum criminal compensation in Australia(not a huge lot & I don’t think anyone else has ever come close;due to a gang rape.) Event happened before I met Mr fabulous. When I eventually left him,having a miscarriage due to diseases I’d caught from his groupies I had $30 left in my bank account. He & his trolls had lived up large! And his last troll was horrified that my family had cleaned out our house and left them nothing” not even that cool brass bed”. They tried to move in there but the landlord there them out?
My ex husband lied and said he was going to a conference when he was really going to a concert with his girlfriend out of town.
It was our child’s second birthday.
She also had chicken pox at the time.
He informed me of his plans 2 hours before her birthday party.
Nine months later, she gave birth to his child.
Wow.
You win. My x lied and had me help him select a nice suit and tie to wear to his “boss’s wedding”. Sad sad sad, they couldn’t offer plus 1’s even for spouses b’c of $ but REALLY DESPERATELY needed x there to help with the sound system!!!
Nope. Turns out it was a wedding x was attending with his office slut.. her brother’s wedding.
But she didn’t have his baby nine months later. Ugh. Your poor 2yr old. And poor you. What a jerk to miss your sick little child’s bday 🙁
They are such toads and fools.
1. Sent a letter in the mail telling me he’s been unhappy for 15 of 36 years married…ran out of the house as the post man was delivering it!
2. Said I knew he was unhappy for 15 years but said nothing when I put $30,000 dollars on the mortgage 2 years prior to that letter so he could retire early!
3. Sent a second letter that I could keep my Toyoto Corolla that I had been paying on if the damages weren’t to bad from the divorce!…….
Oh, my God. People are objects to be discarded or picked up, whatever makes his happy. So sorry, Construction.
Our child had the birthday and chicken pox. Girlfriend gave the birth.
Oh he just sounds delightful, I really think you should fight to maintain that….said no chump EVER. Holy crap, fuck that asshole! Just wow!
The OW became psychotic and intent on becoming me. Changed hair, lost weight, tried to put her kids in a home. Best part – she got him and now she’s the old me. Got exactly what she deserved and I got freed.
Holy “Alex Forrest,” Batman!
No bunnies were harmed though, right?…
The OW did the same here. After my 8 yo son went to visit them for the first time after the ex and OW moved in together, he said the OW now had red hair and had lost weight. I am a red head, size 2/small/whatever. I was speechless. What is the thought process there? Did she really want my life?
Heh. Final OW has turned into old me as well. Poor thing. I’m new/pre-ex me and life is so much better.
that is what I aspire to be! my old self
?
Kim, now that could be a histerical cartoon for the second day of Christmas! The whore twinning. How very sick. Freaks
I told him I couldn’t raise our special needs child alone. What will happen to her when we’re gone?
He replied: “The government can look after her. This is what I need” (referring to the OW).
Should I mention that X and OW are both school teachers?
That is so COLD. Evil. We have two special needs kids. I cant even imagine…wow. You are a warrior. Your child is probably better off without such a cold and callous ” parent” around. Imagine that…they are both teachers?! Sickening. You are a champion though.
Holy Crow! My ex and ow are both school teachers too.
My daughter’s married 1st grade teacher ran off with the married soccer coach.
One of STBX’s online hookups was a married 2nd grade teacher whose youngest kid was going into kindergarten. She was into ben-wa balls and nipple clamps. Wtfever.
Previous DDay X hooked up with a teacher he met at the gym. I sincerely felt bad for her. She dumped him once I filled her in. The damage a sociopath touches each and every person they come in contact with. I pity any decent person X cons once the whore tires of supporting the “good guy”. Yet at this point he is circling back to use his children for supply. Fir their sake I would rather have him step in front of a bus, a fast moving karma bus.
What a soulless bastard!
Holy shitballs Batman!
Suddenly glad I’m not so chummy with other teachers at the school I teach at…I don’t even want to find out if any of them are like this.
I’m a teacher, and we have a special needs daughter. He does nothing for her, didn’t while we were married, and damn sure doesn’t now.
Fuck. Him.
Seconded!
Words and actions people
My stbxh said he loves the cats, i once saw him kick the cat some distance into a fence and another time carry by the scruff and drop kick it out of the front door.
He said he wasn’t seeing anyone during MC. someone’s baby is due 9 months later.
I gotta an action: One time cheater dropped our daughter off and walked her up to the door in the pouring rain. His hood was up and the umbrella over himself while the run off from the umbrella fell on my daughter’s head. I have a photo to prove it! Now that’s a cartoon!
Horrible man
You have no idea. Total Narc to the core.
Some people should not be parents…how gross
Appalling, but a fantastic mental image.
Exhibit A, Your Honor.
Anyone who would drop kick an innocent animal should be housed with the criminally insane. (Lets see him try drop kicking Bubba and see what happens !)
@Yo
I agree. Anyone who drop kicks and innocent animal should be doused in gasoline and set on fire. I have a zero tolerance policy for violence, especially violence against animals. Had I witnessed that, I would have lodged a knife in his throat. What a piece of garbage and to stand by and do nothing! What a disgrace.
Hello vegan chump, for the record I did not stand by and do nothing. But when the man walked to the front door with the cat, I was not expecting him to do that. This is the difference with words and actions. He says he loves animals, and he’s vegetarian, and he meditates everyday and he’s morally superior blah blah blah, you don’t expect him to be cruel to a cat. But there you go, I could only do something after it had taken place.
It’s an interesting part of the story to look back on, a red flag, he said he loved the cats, have them sit on his lap and pet them, then occasionally be cruel. Seemingly out of character, you question yourself, maybe they haven’t owned pets, maybe explain about delicate bones and internal organs. But in time you understand that it’s part of their personality, occasionally cruel.
vegan – sounds like you have a huge tolerance for violence given your response…knife in the throat? do “peaceful” people not hear themselves?
I got nervous with dousing with gasoline.
He cried when he was not allowed in his brother’s girlfriend’s delivery room. He later denied crying or being upset. While she was pregnant he offered to take her to her obgyn appts and to be her lamaze coach. I was also pregnant but after the first few appts he refused to accompany me. We were sharing a car. He would insist I ask my dad to take me! But he kept offering to take HER! I asked him to be MY lamaze coach but he said “I dont wannt do that shit. Why dont you ask your sister?
To this day he insists that nothing was going on between them. But why was he so emotional about being in her delivery room? Am I crazy for thinking there is somethin WEIRD about a brother in law being in the delivery rm?
yes, weird. Sounds to me that your X might have been involved with the GF.
When his bro was going out of town for a few days my husband packed a suitcase, telling me he was gonna stay with HER while his bro was out of town because she didnt want to be alone. I offered to let her stay with us or come along too. He said No, she doesnt want that. I asked if his bro knew about their “sleepover” but he wouldnt answer me. So I said ” Ill ask him.” He got in my face and said ” Dont You Dare! I swear..if you do that then were done.” So i told him if he spends one night with her, dont bother coming home.” he stayed. Sorry so long.
I could go on and on…he would pick random fights with me then leave ” to cool off”…probably to hang with her. He shared a dessert with her, sharing the same spoon while they stared in each others eyes (at a family christmas party). When i complained he told me i was insecure….they were always giving each other sidelong glances and trying not to smile. They would be off in a corner away from the rest of the family…talking. I knew something was going on but he denied it and told me i needed a psychiatrist and would not discuss it….
Yep. He’s been fucking her. In fact, I’d be willing to bet 10 grand that he was.
Fucking sick shit. What is it – the family which bonks together sticks together, or something?
Yeah, it even sounds like it might have been his baby. I mean, he cried?
That was my other thought, too. Fucking gross.
If you can stand to hear more of this story…sorry to be so long winded. It is such a relief to talk about it! His bro had to leave the delivery rm because he felt sick or light headed. My husband thought she would ask for HIM (because he had been a corpsman in the navy. Sure. Whatever) but she asked for her best girlfriend instead. He was crushed. Her best friend got to witness the birth. Not him. How tragic. Let me play the violin now.
I have no idea whether it ever got physical, but snake’s brother is a serial cheater and in hindsight, probably also a narc. His brother’s wife would call snake and cry for hours about the way she was treated…. And he listened and listened and consoled and listened….
We didn’t live nearby, so they wouldn’t have had the opportunity for a PA much, but I always thought it was very odd.
After a while, his tone toward her changed to “hey, get out if you can’t forgive him and let it go, the past is the past”…
Maybe he was planning to dump me for his brother’s sloppy seconds…. who knows? Maybe he is…
One of they very first things that make me uneasy was when X offered OW some food from his plate. We very rarely socialized with her and didn’t eat together more than a couple of times, but that offer set off the warning bells. Of course, my concerns were brushed aside indignantly. I later found out their affair started within days of that meal. The act of sharing food is very intimate and my suspicions were right on the money. Like many here, I was bullied inti distrusting my gut. Never again!
I kinda knew it when they sat at the end of the table, completely ignoring everyone else at our daughter (her neice)’s 13th birthday party….
Mr Fab has 2 bros, the Downgrade has fucked all of them. The Dad made several passes at me over the years. Between them, they have lived with/married and cheated on 12 women in 20 years.
Now all I can see is these poor 12 ladies like they are disciples at the last supper and these three men are… I dunno, watching you all? Swapping Scores and report cards? Creepy.
My mother who is currently 75, once overheard X-holes father (at a family get together) say that when he was younger he “had gotten more ass than a public toilet seat”. Such a great role model and “Christian”. He has three sons, all cheaters….big shocker. Vile people.
OMG NCStevie!!! That made me shudder! satan is a traveling salesman (cliche much asshole?!)…I’m sure he could relate to your fil!!!! EEEEWWWWWW!!!!!
Yes I agree sharing food from the same plate (and utensil!) is very intimate! In my case, he shared a dessert with his sister in law…same spoon and everything. Minutes earlier I had offered him my dessert…because it had rum in it ( i hate rum) but he said no thanks and threw it in the sink. She then decided she could not finish her dessert by herself so he decided to “help” her. They looked like two ppl in love sharing that dessert. Gag. Barf
1)Ex wanted anal sex, I said no so he took up spending time in adult shops in the city’s gay district, I saw this as adultery. This resulted in my owning that my views were too black and white and that I was not submissive enough as a Christian wife. He stated it would never happen again case closed! And yes I remained in submissive in that regard.
2) 11 years later, Ex confesses having a male affair partner and for 8 yrs intermittently indulging in oral sex with random men in public toilets since affair. Many men!
3) The religious twats who tried to bully me into staying with Ex after D’day, stand by his claim that he has been delivered of his unclean sexual spirit and have spent the last 12 month helping him to groom his new beard, I mean fiancé.
“indulging in oral sex with random men in public toilets” eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww….
No graphic representation of this please.
That doesn’t help anyone. She’s doomed and he is awful. And both will be trapped by terrible religious garbage.
Yes, they just stay in the closet, find another ‘beard’. Sad.
I am so sorry that religious people tried to bully you into staying in a situation that was bad for your physical and emotional well being. When I was going through it, I read “Love Must Be Tough” by Dr. James Dobson. He recounted a story where a betrayed wife thought the good Lord would spare her the pain of further infidelity or divorce as long as she was submissive to her husband. She ended up in a threesome with her wayward husband and the other woman.
Dr. Dobson’s point is that being “nicer” and “submissive” to get someone to be respectful and stop having affairs doesn’t work. He suggested being tough and setting boundaries, only allowing someone to stay married to you if they are genuinely repentant and stop sinning. Dr. Dobson is a conservative Christian. After divorcing, I went to a class my church held on biblical boundaries using the book Boundaries written by Cloud and Townsend. Nobody has to be a doormat. It is okay to stand up for yourself and not look the other way when hurt by sin. Not everyone who believes in Christ has their head up their butt as those bullies did.
P.S. I feel kind of sorry for the new “beard” Good luck for everything she’s going to be getting into.
1. toward the end of an over 12 month in house, legal separation, my x was court ordered out of the master bedroom where he had been sleeping (I had relocated to the guest room in a double bed, he’s 6’5, I’m an even 5′)
2. ex always slept in is designer underwear and his newly manscaped chest (he was a hairy beast)
3. the night he was ordered out of the bedroom, he came into the master, in his tightie whities at midnight and ceremoniously whipped all the covers off of me while I was sleeping and stalked out of the room with my duvet cover trailing behind him and shouted at me “If you don’t like it, sue me”. My response was “I just did”
He did all sorts of crazy, but usually held his “ice cold exterior together, that night I knew I had gotten under his skin” it was the only comedic moment of my divorce, the rest was run of the mill tragic.
lol . . . “I just did.” Ha ha
That deserves a cartoon alone!
Interestingly enough, it just occurred to me yesterday that today (18 December in the Philippines) is the day he left. Freakboy’s “list of belongings” that he demanded I return to him, after I had already spent thousands shipping his crap back home, will always make me laugh. Since I’m only allowed 3:
1. His collection of about 17 airline liquor bottles (the small, one-shot wonders).
2. Eight 12″x12″ black rubber floor tiles.
3. Three egg poaching cups.
… and a partridge in a pear tree… lol
I love the floor tiles. It’s so absurd.
Mine broke in the house and took the VCR.
He really showed me.
Saved you a trip to the Goodwill!
Lol. Hahahaha. They need an eight track player and a 3 1/2″ floppy disk to go with it. Then they can have their very own museum of outdated technology.
This is gold.
Hopefully, you kept the rewinding machine 😉
Mine hijacked the vacuum cleaner, and one knife out of my Henkel set. :/
LOL mine asked me in a whiny baby voice if he could pwetty pwease take this favowite bwanie with him when I threw him out! and some really expensive hotel quality towels he had chosen for us, (“nothing but the best for US!”). I walked over and shoved him up against the wall and just said, “take them, you JERK!”
“bwankie”
I packed every piece of crap in the house I didn’t want and boxed it. I can just imagine his face after he went through the boxes and found mismatched dishes, old towels, broken spatula, and shower hooks. He got his clothes and debt.
I used his leaving as a way to clean the house of all the shit that he accumulated and didn´t want to get rid of: moldy books, tons of wires from electrical connections, an answering machine, hundreds of cassettes, old phones, broken rice cooker, I could go on and on…trash left with Trash..
OnTheHill, Okay… now THAT would piss me off! The best thing that came out of my marriage other than our kids are the Henkel knives and the Miele canister vacuum!
bizarre-so did mine!
Shortly after I moved out, I got an enraged text message from ex complaining about my taking the set of cheap steak knives we got as a free gift for subscribing to the newspaper, along with the AA batteries. This from the guy who got to keep the whole HOUSE.
Good God these people are SUCH fucking assholes. This is THE best therapy ever. Every day I read through the comments and every day I read comment after comment that just reaffirms how horrible these disordered fucktards are.
What a piece of miserable shit he is. Sometimes the only piece of mind I have is just being thankful I’m not one of them, I prefer to be the chump in this equation.
yup!
GIO, I think this is why you’re technically disqualified from playing. Free knives with a subscription?! I don’t to think why he needed AAs so desperately.
Ha Ha You made me laugh?…mine tried to sue me for contempt of court if I did not return kitchen spatulas.???
omfg
I got the house, will close on the refi on Tuesday evening. It’s a great story. However, dip shit left in May with a suitcase, like he was going on a business trip. I packed all his crap into garbage bags and wept (CN supported me that day).He came two weeks later and got his trash bags of personal belonging.One month later he came back with movers and had them pack some stuff, took some that was mine, pissed me off. He had so much stuff they had to schedule another day. For his third trip, I went through house and put his crap in piles, in each room. Took two days off work so it wouldn’t upset my kids. The best thing, was I boxed up 10 years of piles and piles of magazines, even put a broken air conditioner in the pile that he insisted on saving old computers, college text books you name it, it’s gone…I had to hire a lawyer that day to make sure he didn’t abscond with anything else. The lawyer’s comments to me as my x walked out the door “Too bad he (x) couldn’t be a stand up guy”. The lawyer was gobsmacked by the behavior….
Glad you took the batteries. I took the batteries too…for my new battery operated boyfriend. You want to hear something messed up. We were still technically living together during the divorce, though I spent much time getting away from the house. He got mad that I hadn’t cleaned out my stuff in the refrigerator, so he contacted his attorney asking if it was okay to get rid of the old food. My attorney printed out a copy of his attorney’s email and mailed it to me. It said “I can’t believe I’m even writing this email but my client asked if it would be okay to throw out food in the refrigerator.” My friends and I had a good laugh over that. It’s like, no you can’t get rid of old food darnit! You’re ruining my science experiment!
Love the “and a partridge in a pear tree” ending! Thank you.
Rubber floor tiles? What a thoughtful guy – I’m sure he just wanted them to make Schmoopie’s knees more comfortable when she was down on them.
Ha! He didn’t even get to keep his Schmoopie though because she is a sex worker here and he’s… well, not here.
1. On D day discovered cheater had boinked a girl from adult friend finder in the bed of his truck….. That we had purchased together.
2. When baby was 3 months old, discovered cheater “helping” another woman by getting beers, taking her to concerts, and all day hikes outside of town
3. When baby was 3 months old, discovered Craigslist ad for men seeking men and 100 email exchanges with transsexuals while he was “praying about our marriage” in a hotel. His conclusion after week in hotel praying “Im not confused about our marriage anymore. I just really need a motorcycle and a tattoo.”
I think I could do a whole post on cheaters who “pray” at hotels. There sure is a lot of Bible study going on out there!
Yes. Excellent spiritual revelations and development there!
I’m sure the Gideons would be so proud.
Lol! You took the words out of my mouth. It’s all THEIR fault.
Ha!
Ummm yeah, when I blasted X-hole about hanging on the phone for (literally) hours with married/cheating Owhore I was told “we are doing Bible Study together”. He was serious, delusional but serious. My response? “You and the cheating whore should read Proverbs, there’s a ton of good scriptures about adultery, educate yourselves.”
In one of her rants the ho told me she was a Christian woman. What?
1) (Now) Ex-wife gets Chinese take out with her mom greeting me at our home. After an awkward dinner together, we divide up our stuff.
2) (Now) Ex-wife re-launches her private counseling practice as a therapist who fosters authenticity and helps couples with trust issues…while still lying, denying, and gas-lighting me about her adultery.
3) Trained and licensed therapist (now) ex-wife told me that her (adulterous) relationship had nothing to do with our marriage problems with a straight face when confronted.
My mil and the mow are therapists/social workers. One marital, one brain injury. I will now only see professionals with MDs, I deserve better than the crazies with a bachelor’s. (Not demeaning BAs, I haven’t completed my masters and prob won’t).
Mine has a Masters….cheaters can be educated, too (and still morally bankrupt)
Agreed.
Mine has a Ph.D. and a Distinguished Named Chair in his Department, but has been on Ashley Madison, Adult Friend Finders, Craigslist, has been caught screwing graduate and undergraduate students, and has to clear his computer of porn every time he takes it for repair.
Intelligence and education are clearly not indicative of morality.
Mine had a PhD and is an AGU fellow a pretty big deal as Divorcedat25 will tell you. Doesn’t matter. You can be smart and still be disordered.
Yep, being an AGU fellow us a pretty big deal. But I’ve already met some sketchy “big deals”. I was taking a summer class last summer where some of the biggest deals came dancing with graduate students after hours and were being quite seedy.
“Intelligence and education are clearly not indicative of morality.”
nor wisdom.
I have met wiser garbage truck drivers….
True guys. Cheaters are in all intellectual, social , economic, religious, etc spheres. They are priests, teachers, presidents, salesmen, truck drivers, policemen, lawyers, rabbis, monks, unemployed, self-employed, teetotalers, alcoholics. They just display poor lack of impulse control, and overwhelming sense of entitlement coupled with some very delusional views about themselves.
Told my colleague about a fellow attorney who propositioned me.
Swear to God this cult of self is the undoing of us all….stbx mother opened my eyes to it…this right to be happy at all costs;even if it means unhappiness for all around you.
OW was a licensed social worker, who advertises that she is a parenting coordinator. Her X had to petition the court for the appointment of a parenting coordinator because OW was refusing to follow court ordered visitation schedule and trying to convince her son that he shouldn’t want to see his dad.
OW was a physician who just ‘knew’ fucktard had been snipped (she could tell by his smirk?), then panicked when she found out otherwise after their initial no protection fuckfest (Yay Plan B; yay Time Machine on Mac – very easy to find email). She then got an IUD (lower failure rate than tubes tied) and later claimed he got her pregnant (with the IUD in). MD’s are just as fucked up as anyone else.
Morality isn’t dictated by intelligence.
Life experiences and sky-high boundaries are what dictates morality – one of the wisest people I ever knew was practically homeless at one point – while the many fuckwits I have encountered lived a cushy life with ‘achievements’ as kibble-grabbers.
My asshole has an MD PhD and a high position at the university. The OWhore is a licensed Psy who told my asshole ex that children of divorce really don’t suffer and that it would be no big deal.
I think it would be like hating all gymnasts if that’s what the ow was. It doesn’t mean all gymnasts are assholes. I just now hate all community college certified social workers.
Chumplisa
Don’t you just love it when they quote the other cheater. Oh, yeah you just fucked her last week and she decided you can’t ever speak to tne person you’ve been with since you were 16, have three adult chikdren and a granddaughter with.
And they abandon their children in a heartbeat. No it’s all on them. Quoting the ither woman is blame shifting. Can they ever take responsibility fir anything?
Oh we need a new category.
The shit they insisted on having…….
1) the rusted out old coal fire BBQ
2) the torn climb chair given to him by the EAP he had the year our first child was born.
3) the hard drive from out only computer, no surprises there.
That should say ‘club chair’
my ex asked for our digital camera. The mediator said it was his ‘fuck you’ item to me. I laughed and said he could have it because he’s not techie at all and won’t know how to use it. Oh, he can take pictures, but he has no clue how to load them to his computer. And btw, he only has a work computer so he can’t load them on it. Eventually the card will be full and he’ll be clueless.
He’s already clueless.
Out “fuck you ” item was a professional air compressor in the garage….IT’S MINE! I smile every time I pull in, and I enjoy putting air in my car tires, bike tires, etc….
Mine was the mod triptych painted by my daughter’s art teacher, that X refused to pay more than $200 for, and I spent 1/4 on my summer salary to keep them. He wanted them when he moved out and I said no, then promptly hung them in the most prominent room in the house.
X also insisted that I send him the subwoofer from the car. It was already 10 years old and took up 1/2 the back space of the CRV. Actually I wish I had sent it back COD since it is now just a liability in a car I have to get rid of.
Ha our “fuck you” item – a $10 iphone charger that he demanded back in an email yesterday. When he already has about 15 of them.
He’s not fucking getting it…on principle.
Yes…’The shit they insist on having” items:
Listed in our official Settlement Agreement, Ex demanded:
1. The panini maker (we’re not talking an industrial sandwich press, just a $40 gadget)
2. Sports Christmas ornaments – cheap shit, not collectable names like Waterford or Lennox. (He married his whore, and she’s Jewish, not sure how well received those treasures are).
3. The “Fiesta-ware” dinner dishes that were about 15 years old.
He moved straight from our house in with OW. He’s a pack rat – he must have looked like Steve Martin in the Jerk gathering his shit: “All I need is this panini-maker, and these sports ornaments…and that’s all I need. And I need this, the panini-maker, these sports ornaments, and these Fiestaware dishes…and that’s all I need too!”
… and his remote control. I love it!
Love it!!!
The Direct TV boxes – too late, I ran them over with the car
The TV from our bedroom – Nope, I’M the one who paid for that.
His Green Bay Packers sweatshirt – Sorry, that went to the homeless shelter.
Ex rummaged around in the garage for 3 hours back in February when he came to finally collect his stuff. 17 large boxes of shit + what he considered his. He made a pile of stuff on the floor to ‘discuss’ which included a tapperware jug and cups I earned as a demonstrator and a video trivial pursuits game I bought myself for Christmas one year that he refused to play with me.
I can laugh about it now.
My X loved direct TV. He canceled the premium channels when he left. Then after the greed kicked in, but thankfully after the D was finalized, he wrote to my attorney asking to be reimbursed for the damn thing while he was off living with his whore. She provided him a list of shit he didn’t pay for and told him he OWED me $. Shut him the fuck up fast.
My exh left almost everything of his at my house for me to contend with because he bought “all new.” He is a fire fighter (no offense to other fire fighters) and he fancies himself to be quite the catch. A few years ago, he quit the fire department in our small rural town yo go work for a large Fire department in Kansas City. He used to swan about town on his days off in his big city fire department shirts thinking he was impressing everyone. When he left, he left a ton of his big city fire department shirts (among other things). He refused to come get his things, so the kids and I packed them all up and donated then to the homeless shelter in our small town. Now, homeless people can be seen walking the streets wearing his prized fire department shirts. He doesn’t seem like such a big noise wearing them now!
Mine wanted our wedding album and family videos, probably to replace me with a photoshopped Skanky in my place. He’s repeating everything else we did as a couple, including our family events and trips.
My ex didn’t ask for the wedding photos but I notice that he is repeating all of the things we did as a couple with the OW. I expect to wake up one day to a text from him asking me to go through all of the boxes of photos and send his to him.
1. OW is old ex girlfriend. They got together when she was H’s best friends girlfriend. Best friend never spoke to him again. She cheated on H twice when together, married someone else, cheated on her husband and is now alone and miserable.
2. She lives in another country and currently their fantasy relationship involves mucho sexting and making shit up about their lives to look good.
3. F^^*@r actually bitched to me about not helping him when he was booking flight out to visit her and make their fantasies a reality.
He still won’t admit to doing anything and cries about how there’s something going on between us and he doesn’t know what it is. I have copies of his texts and sexting pics on a thumb drive at work even though I live in a no fault state. Never know when I may need the leverage.
Working on an exit. B#@*&d never acknowledged me on my birthday ever since I gave birth to his children. It’s amazing what it will take to make you see the light.
Oh and caught texts between him and enabler friend (where he’s stashing the gifts he’s bought the Ho and her brood, money he didn’t spend on our kids, but hey got to look like a hero and saviour), he’s panicking now that there is some way I can stop him leaving the country and he’ll get to the airport and they’ll throw him out. Searching furiously for this information dumb f^&k.
Only concern is that I’ll prevent him from getting his kibbles.
We are here for you. I’m waiting too. Sometimes it’s right to keep it low and be ready. Beeeeeee ready. Stay safe
What is it with this changing once you give birth? THAT is the exact moment I ceased to be a human being, and became ‘mother/housekeeper’ instead. I went along with it
Ditto
Me three.
I guess a narc would tell you to be thankful that it took that long…. Some of us lose merit before we have kids. But yknow, we are half liked until we are basically too old to have that option anymore
Happened to another friend too (enablers ex wife). I think it’s when they have competition for attention. That and maybe having kids makes them suddenly realize they are supposed to be grow ups and they just can’t go there.
^ Bingo. It’s absolutely about competition for attention. My narc freely admitted that everything changed when our kids were born and that he felt like he got no attention any more.
Never mind that he was sex chatting online three years before the eldest was even BORN.
1) Husband told me that on multiple trips to our nation’s capitol, he was briefing top brass at the Department of Defense (given his line of work this is believable), but instead he was “debriefing” a 20-something program officer who liked taking hallucinogens with him, and naked selfies in the bathtub.
2) After being discovered as a serial cheater for 16 years with multiple women all over the world, he said that if I revealed his misdeeds to any mutual friends he would tell them (and our two teenagers) that I didn’t give him enough blowjobs (!)
3) D-day was 2.5 months ago. Since then, his most recent AP and the professed love of his life has dumped him, and he has found a new girlfriend, a former grad student who lives in Latin America. They leave next week to spend Christmas and New Year’s traveling around Europe.
Si, I hope you sing like a bird.
YES! Sing like a bird. His secrets are not yours to keep.
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.” –Anne Lamott
Si,
So not giving enough BJ’s is shameful to your teenagers and mutual friends how?
You can let people know about his despicable behaviour in discrete versus graphic language and be ladylike.
And laughingly joke that he was fixated on having anything or anybody “blow him”
Great quote!!
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.” –Anne Lamott
And that is why I blog.
Love this quote!
One of my favorite quotes Sionara!! “If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”
X-hole called my sharing “slander”, as we’ve said many times here in the comments “it’s not slander if it’s true!”
When you sing like a bird, maybe sing to http://www.dodig.mil/hotline/ . Hallucinogen-fueled nookie parties are hazardous to one’s security clearance.
Oh BURN. I like it.
Amen, that’s a damn true statement!!!!!
Ha! Mine demanded a confidentiality clause in our mediation agreement. Hells no! I agreed not to mention it on social media for the sake of the children. In person however…..let me play you the audio!
He actually told your teenagers that?! OMG
(no, just a threat, I doubt he would actually do that; he does love his kids a lot)
You didn’t give enough blowjobs – so what? Maybe if his dick was properly cleaned or wasn’t sticking it into other people, you might have considered it, in his case, HELL NO?
Yell your story from the rooftops. When he pulls that pathetic one-liner it will just make him look like the crazy you have already pointed out.
Honestly, you have to be pretty awesome if that’s all the dirt he could come up with.
What a loser he is.
This is no contender, and some of the above gave me the vapours, (lol) but the mow drove 3 hours to my mil’s birthday party/narc-o-rama to present her with 65 little rolled scolls about why mil was great. Of course one was that she’d given birth to wh. Of course mil totally agreed. And didn’t see the irony that the mow had driven hours and left 4 kids behind right around the holidays to tell my mil what a great mother and woman she was. She did not have a scroll that said she was fucking my h, seated at a different table, but I think it was implied. Other guests at the party were appropriately creeped out, since the relationship was a business one. I can’t think of a boss I’d blow off my kids for to write tiny messages on little scrolls then drive thru snow to hand deliver, and I’ve had some awesome bosses. Needless to say, when the shit hit, guess who mil was cheering for?
I’m working on limericks now. Can that be a st Patrick contest? I’m salty.
65 little scrolls sounds like a good tag line for the 12 days of Christmas!
And I wonder why 65? That’s a lot of work! I’m picturing him writing them and rolling them all up!
Little scroll rhymes with little troll. Which rhymes with wet hole.
Feel free to write your limerick any time, nic.
Wow. Scrolls. Just W.T.F. Were you there for this?
Yup every spidey sense tingled. It was a real study in “how narcissistic can I get??” Photo booth, country club, speeches, slide show, super long guest list, special menu. These people are hillbillies, not this scene at all, this was a real show of ” how we want to be perceived”. Most folks knew to back out of the room so they could see where the knife and demeaning would come from.
I think the limericks come out at Valentines Day…I cant wait !! Im guessing it was the MILs 65th bday party hence the 65 scrolls. That is SO icky. OW gave my nowdeadhusband a gift for his retirement and he hid it in his car. I found it and he rounded the corner to find me, his mom and his sister (all MY homegirls) staring into the bag. I hope his internal reaction felt like his rectum was falling out.
65 ways MIL was great?
That’s impressive.
I’d be hard pressed to find 5 about mine.
LMAO, I could probably come up with about five as well. Especially if I were to repeat myself four times.
None. I can come up with absolutely not a single one. It’s why she surrounds herself with white trash a few levels below her – she looks like the fucking duchess of Deutschland compared to their pathetic selves. It’s sad. I finished college before she did, so that’s always been a bee in her bonnet. I was 20, she was 40. It’s like a high school rival – my mil. She can’t have people around her who she perceives as superior. Effed up shit. And I’m an asshole too – I bred with this family, yet I judge. Lol.
I should say that the ONE way MIL is great is that she often forgets I (and our child) exist 😉
ChumpyElf: mine too. But posts on FB how sorry she wasn’t there for my kids like she up is for her NEW grand kids. Oh well…out with the old and in with the new!
“Especially if I were to repeat myself 4 times.”
That’s hysterical ChumpyElf!! Love it. Same here, I’d HAVE to repeat myself, couldn’t fabricate that much bullshit in one setting to talk up X-hole’s mum. My sister calls her Cruella DeVille lmao.
MILs! The biggest red flag we ignored IMO. I now tell young people: look at the family. It doesn’t matter how much you love them, if his mother is weird, RUN. Her ways are what you will be dealing with when the love shine wears off.
The first thing STBX ever said to me as I walked into his house was: you need to watch out for my mother. She can be a bit strange.
That he would not resort to her coping skills once inevitable stresses came into marriage was my biggest delusion, and on me I am afraid.
I could not agree more with you, Patsy. I think we need to do a Red Flag book for unsuspecting, about to marry disordered nuts.
My mom had picked up on XMIL’s crazy within a minute of meeting her. XMIL is a total whack-job. I ignored my mother and spackled away. I did the pick-me dance so that XMIL would accept me. She never did, in fact she treated me like shit. Now she has a new DIL (OW) that is an amoral, skank.
Golden child was happy to blame XMIL for being an “impediment in our marriage”. Of course, he never confessed to an affair as being the reason for him divorcing me.
Poor XMIL, now she has a real problem married to her son and she has to keep her mouth shut. Karma….
Gosh this is true, STBX told me how abusive his parents were, but it was their abusive coping skills he relied upon when shit got real.
The disordered whore approached me and after calling ME a slut and a whore said she had a hairdresser she could recommend for my grey roots starting to show.
That’s low. You could have Winston churchilled her and said that while your hair could be dyed easily and tomorrow you’d look different, she’d always wake up a stupid whore no matter what.
Oh Donna what a whore !
Mine ( ow whore) would send nude selfies of herself to me to recommend a good plastic surgeon to fix my “flat saggy breasts”. Her husband worked overtime to pay 8600.00 for her fakies as she’s fucking my husband of 22 years.
Text her back and tell her your husband already left you the number for Whores-R-Us? Tell her half of those boobs are already yours. Seriously, that is dissipation of marital assets, and you should get half of that money back in the divorce
I think kim means that the whore’s husband paid for them, not her husband. Still sick either way.
“Thats nice. Yours will be saggier when they start to leak though. Have fun with that. And all the Botox in the world can’t fix the ugly that you are – your face looks like you slammed into a wall at 100 clicks an hour.”
Now that a great image Lania! Two leaky tits dripping on the cheater.
Lania
You described miss piggy! You would think with all those years of looking she would be a looker. Damn if her face doesn’t look like a pickanese that was bred with a chicken. Crack will do that.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Seriously crying with laughter now. That mental image…
Does she squawk like a chicken too? Cluck cluck. 😀
I ignored her complete NC. What a freak.
Her last thought was to make peace. Peace with the piece? Lol.
I think it comes out more like FUCK FUCK FUCK ME.
Love that you used Winston Churchill as a verb. ☺
Yep, Donna, ex’s nasty whore called ME the C word. Lol. I think she kind of has that backwards. She hated my guys, was gonna kick my teeth down my fucking lard ass, etc. Ex is welcome to her delusional, psychotic ass.
Ummmm…I called HER that word once. Coward wouldn’t answer the phone my cheating asshole was paying for so I could give her a piece of my mind so I left a voice mail. She made jokes about it in texts later, we’ll see who laughs last 😉
Donna – I like my greys. I understand I’m not supposed to, but I do!
I started doing my own hair (cut and color), shop in consignment stores, and whore got a blank leather biker jacket with fringe hanging from the arms. She’s a rocker. X was complementing me at the final hearing. What a gross pig. I could see her getting peed on. X wets the bed. No diamonds in her future.
He had his own accounting practice and tax preparation software. That meant he could stay out of IRS trouble by filing the real deal with them and then bring home fake tax returns to show me, easily covering up the business failures and huge debt. The last three years he didn’t even file with the IRS. I found it all out after he died. When searching his computer for financial records I found naked pictures of his current secretary under the file name of the previous OW.
1.After sleuthing the Was-band for months, everything fell into place for confrontation on 12/7 (Pearl Harbor day) – what a fitting day to drop the bomb on his ass.
2. I got more diamonds & jewelry & sweet goopiness the following Christmas than in 20 years-all to show his love & remorse, but ummm, oops! He was still lying.
3. After dropping $300 in an hour for private strip show, he’d balk at paying $3 for a bag of candy for the kids stockings.
I’m baffled by this money stuff. I’m terrible because I didn’t spend enough on presents for his highness… But there’s no money because you gifted yourself strange you dumb ass.
Asshat read me the riot act about spending too much money (the vast majority was for food we eat!) and turned around and got himself a swanky rental without asking or consulting me first. He also never admitted it was not to work on his health and FAULTS but to have a quiet place to fuck his whore. That rent money could have renovated a bathroom. Paid for a year of college. His lease was for less than six months. God forbid we want three flavours of oatmeal in the pantry….
Ha! Were we married to the fuckwad? I spent ‘ too much’ on food, too! A year or two before Dday he’d suggested getting a place in Washington DC, where he traveled on business alot. The reasoning was he was wasting so much money on hotels, etc. I nixed the idea as a bad one-we knew several people he could’ve stayed with. I suspected he wanted ‘privacy’.
Thankfully I started listening to my suspicions & socking away for a rainy day. In fact every time he bitched about my spending – HONEST TO GOD, he once got mad at me for using a letter stamp on a post card – or behaved otherwise the ass, I assessed ‘fines’ & would add squirrel that amount into the sock fund.
SO GLAD I did. It paid for the private detective & other stuff without him having the slightest clue his little game was up.
Oh, the stamp lecture! I got that one too!
I got constantly told to turn off the lights, as I leave each room in the house. For years. He just kept harassing me about those damn light switches, and it was such a big deal to him. Yeah, right, Mr Thrifty!
But it’s OK that he spent 650.00 a month on a garage he went to maybe 4 times a year, where he kept his old cars (and prob also used for hooking up).
Thanks Tempest. But, for years prior to this, I had outed this ‘relative’ to every sister and niece with daughters/grandaughters. He has NO idea how many ppl stay away from him. I HAD to protect them at the risk of fucking up the family. So far, I’m still waiting to see if the Sister does anything at all about his issues…which I have no doubt he still has. He’s far too close to teenagers with his ‘hobbies’ for my liking.
Nobody understands this (my anger) this long…but I was the only sibling’s sister he molested. Like adultery, if you haven’t experienced it, you have no idea how long the anger can go on. Whew – I finally settled it with my Sister once and for all. It’s her move if at all…
Can you believe it took me 40 years to finally put it all down on paper? My sister insisted on it instead of a phone call. (I wanted to phone and clear it up) So, now, of course, I have a record and so does she. Silly sister.
Freewoman, seriously? Were you married to my x as well? He followed me and my kids around for 19 years directing us to go back and turn off lights, rather than just do it himself as he walked by the room.
After X ended his major affair years ago (without my knowing he’d had an affair), and wrote me a letter demanding I engage in all kinds of tawdry sex including threesomes, etc. (I never did, though), he bought a HOUSE without my knowing it. Claimed it was a small pied-a-terre downtown that he wanted to surprise me with because he knew I liked the city. What I now know is that it was to be his fuckpad because it was bought months after he started accounts on adult websites.
Tempest, he bought a freaking house?! I think CN has broken WordPress bc some of my replies are going to the bottom of the page. A house. Talk about dissipation of marital assets!
At time of settlement, that house was community property in Texas, even though it was in his name. Lol.
If only I hadn’t married such a dumb fuck. So dumb he upped his assets, didn’t write down ANY debt, and said he made zero. The doccument had scribbles all over it and was never given to his lawyer.
My therapist kept telling me he was dumb. Yup!
Yay for you Tempest!! A fucking house!
Oh gees, mine bought a house, too. A grand old do-er upper. It needed two mortgages on our main asset (I was advised to take out an injunction to stop him, but was too Chumpy at the time to do that), and now he can’t sell it.
One thing this stuff does, is require you to grow the hell up. I am actually really grateful for that, I am NOT the person I was then.
I agree, I needed to grow up also because a grown-up would not have put with parenting a spoiled overgrown brat and would have focused on their needs first.
Wait a sec – oatmeal comes in different flavours?
My D-day was September 11th; also fitting.
Mine was April Fool’s Day 🙁
Oh, is this one so much a trigger:
he Evil One would get so pissed when something broke or got damaged bit could still be used over the years because “we can’t have anything nice” or “I will have to fix yet another thing in this house” or (my)/answer to everything: we’ll just replace it”…meanwhile, he never hesitated to piss money away on shit for his Shit-erado, or whatever car he had at the time…new clothes, new accessories, etc. But would bitch if I bought myself a 3.00 pair of earrings with MY money at Walmart…
Household bills were ALWAYS on me, the most contribution would be food and gas money, and that was usually whatever he “could afford” at the time— once a week shopping, and God forbid, we didn’t have something needed for dinner…I was got yelled at because I needed more salt!!! Really, 1.00 thing of salt was a financial hardship!!!!! Yet, he had the money to spend 15-20 a day to n himself— ice for his cooler, cigarettes, drinks, meals, etc. But would rage if I wanted to eat lunch out with co-worker, or get take-out for dinner if I didn’t feel like cooking that night!!!
Looking back, I realize just how much I put up with… Lord, have mercy!!!!
Lord have Mercy Indeed – Unsinkable. I was also married to control freak. He would call me when every charge came in on his computer when I was out of town. I cannot tell you how much I DON’T MISS THAT!
I used to think it was because he cared. hahahaha
1. STBXH received a letter from OW in which she berated him for the “got you by the balls, marriage-like relationship you have with ChumpedALot.”
2. STBXH asked for our bed after I kicked him to the curb and he had moved in with OW (No was my reply).
3. STBXH told me to leave his hospital room where he was recovering from surgery so his “friends” could visit, because he feared I would case drama. OW was waiting in the cafeteria to come up and visit him – she later wrote to him she “couldn’t believe ChumpedALot was there.” Really? I am his wife, you twat.
The divorce will be final in a few weeks and I could not be happier! 18 years of propping up the asshat and fixing his messes will finally draw to a close. 🙂
Sounds to me like STBXH has been lying to everybody. I wouldn’t be surprised if the OW doesn’t know you’re still married to the asshat.
Ooh! Me play too. When STBX needed surgery, he told me I didn’t need to come, he would get a taxi. Turns out that OW took him to and from hospital, and it was OW he tested the pulling of his operation scar on. Who am I kidding, he was monogamous to OW anyway.
I am ‘meh’ about it now, but that hurt so bad for the longest time.
Mine was telling the women he was texting with that we were separated. WHILE I WAS LAYING IN THE BED SLEEPING NEXT TO HIM!!!
I never really get to play as my ex was such a run of the mill cheater, but here goes:
1) first night in the new place withe the kids, STBX leaves them alone to meet friends at a bar (they were 9 & 12, and scared)
2) STBX planned to move pregnant OW into his place with our kids while I was away on an extended work trip
(They did not know she existed yet)
3) daughter is NC with ex but asks to see baby (half) sibling; ex refuses.. If she won’t see me, she can’t see sibling”
All post DDay examples, but show his selfishness
WOW Zyx321..Your EX is F*ed Up. Won’t let his daughter see an innocent baby because she set boundaries with him, WHAT A LOSER!
1. His excuse for extensive EA/PA with a coworker: “I guess I’m just addicted to hugs. You never hugged me enough.”
2. Solicited sex with shemales while on a work trip.
3. After I discovered his extensive history with Craigslist, Adult Friend Finder, etc., in an attempt to reconcile with me, he was so excited to tell me that we could now be “even” because he had found a younger man on Craigslist to fuck me. And could he watch and maybe participate? Are you fucking kidding me??!?!?!!?!?
In other news, I filed for divorce yesterday and I’m kicking ass at life.
High five on divorce filing SolteraOtraVez, congrats!!
He never got hugged enough! LOL!
Mine took a picture of me in lingerie; cropped out the head, and then put me on Adult Friend Finder so that men and other couples would contact me for sexalicious opportunities for him to watch (or participate).
Tempest…I would have killed him for that alone… and he wonders why you never deal with him with anything but hate and contempt.
Wow. How thoughtful and protective of him to disguise your face, huh?
After years of maintaining that I would not ever do a threesome, even gently explaining why it didn’t jive with my religious beliefs, etc….so he wouldn’t keep taking it so personally (chump), he, during false reconciliation and my pick me dancing, figured the time was right.
He hinted (I almost said “intimated”! ho) that he had a wonderful birthday present for me. He couldn’t wait to “give it to me”. He was like a kid, almost giddy with the anticipation of my delight.
And there she was! A Craigslist sex worker, sitting in our living room – just what I always wanted!
When I refused to come out and meet her, she took off like a shot, peeling rubber up the drive. And he was hurt, his thoughtful gift refused.
It wasn’t for him, he explained, it was for me! He was just all about giving me everything pleasurable in life.
Oh, holy hell, no. I will never complain about getting stale Easter candy for my (July) birthday again :-O
// , I think that tops the list so far. Even that story in the first comment gets beaten by this, I think.
FinallyRealized–whoa. I am speechless. I can’t believe he actually brought someone to the house unexpectedly. Mine used to threaten to do so, but never actually followed through on it. What a pig; thank goodness you’re rid of him.
Oh yes, this topic too!!!!
For the last few years, the Evil One would suggest to me how he felt like ibwould enjoy being with another man in front of him or call him on the phone to listen to me fuck another man…everybtime i would go out with my friends, he would suggest that i find a stud, and i would tell himnthatbi was a married woman and that im not a cheater, to which he would tell me that i had “his permission, a hall pass…”
about a year ago I told him that I felt like he wanted me to “explore” that arena sonthat he could claim adultery on my part and get sole custody of our daufhter— he flew into a rage about that and said he had “too much respect for me” to do that to me…yeah right
He sent out Craigslist ads replies solicitations ng sex, but claimed he never got an answer…
Cheater, cheater, cheater!!!
Shaking head. My ex and I had fun taking pictures with a digital camera. One picture happened to have my bare butt in it. He posted that picture in one of his photos on Adult Friend Finder. Ex brother in law found out about my ex’s activities and as blackmail my ex had to send him a picture of my boobs. While I appreciate the compliment from my brother in law, this helps me see that my ex is a jerk and his family is nuts.
Reminded me of James Franco on “The Mindy Project” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R00umeKmk_M
1. His excuse for extensive EA/PA with a coworker: “I guess I’m just addicted to hugs. You never hugged me enough.”
Now I have “Addicted to Love” by Robert Palmer playing over and over in my head, except the words are, “Gonna have to face it, I’m addicted to hugs, gonna have to face it I’m addicted to hugs, gonna have to face it, I’M ADDICTED TO HUGS.”
Congratulations on the divorce, you are well rid of that freak.
Lol. Thank you- now that’ll be permanently stuck in my head with the new lyrics!
I really want Chump Lady to draw him for “stupid shit cheaters say” for the addicted hugs line!
He got out of prison and immediately started on the small penis domination sites.
I don’t know what “small penis domination” is, but I’m picturing YouTube videos of hamsters dressed up in leather fetish wear. Is that close?
Who needs a 2) or 3) when this is your 1) ? Yowza
Yay! lol
How HARD is it to dominate a small penis? What do they do? Wrap it with a tootsie roll wrapper?
I read that as… “he got out of prison and immediately started on the small penis donation sites.” He just HAD to raise money to find a way to solve his small penis problem STAT!
By the way, lol Donna!
P.S. For the gentlemen who read this, I don’t think size matters; however, treating your lady with respect and faithfulness does.
Absolutely agree on the disclaimer of penis size. If guys haven’t figured out yet that it REALLY DOESN’T MATTER to women, well, it doesn’t!
They are usually the best lovers anyway.
During Christmas time at his parents, we went out to run a bit with our dogs, in a residential area, next to the forest. There was construction work, I slipped in a puddle of oil and ended up in the ditch. He did not bother to stop, or even turn around to look if I was okay.
F, that’s horrible. My ex was like that as well. If I got hurt, he would laugh like crazy, then catch himself and in a really fake, dramatic voice, say, “Oh GLAD, are you okay?” If we were out hiking, he would be way ahead of me and would never stop to see if I needed help or even was still there.
Actually, yes, this often happened to me. He would withdraw into his own world & ignore me when he didn’t get sex in more than 2 or 3 days. Thus, he often walked ahead of me, & didn’t notice when I slipped over or anything at all. Once, on a rainforest walk, he kept going out of sight ahead, meanwhile, I was stuck tangled on a sharp branch…he never noticed.
This is my friend’s story.
1) she caught her husband in bed with his Ow, out of anger, she ran to punch the OW, but her H protected the OW, and punched her instead.
2) she told the mother in law, next day, while the H at work, her mother in law and her went to the OW’s apartment and beat the crap out of the OW.
3) due to the pressure of the mother in law, her H had to dump the OW and back to her.
Hooray, for the MIL.
Ugh! She should’ve filed an assault charge and LEFT the idiot, not taken him back. Great, now you win a resentful cheater and his thuggish mother. Wow.
Not to mention — don’t hit affair partners. There is nothing to win here, people!
Totally true, but it’s still kind of a refreshing change from the MILs usual reactions.
In that moment of sheer rage though, you kinda aren’t thinking. You’re working off pure adrenaline, so all rational thought goes out the window. You just want to cause as much pain as possible to the upstart shit in front of you.
The advanced version would be: “Find out a way to hit her and make it look like an accident” but thats not to be taken as actual advice.
Once again you crack me up Lania.
Eh, to be honest I am speaking from experience.
I took apart a guy at least twice my size when I “saw red”, when I was younger. It took three guys to drag me off from killing him. Did I mention this happened in front of about 20 other people? Didn’t get into trouble, because they claimed to have an ‘anti bullying’ policy (This happened in high school) and I was being pretty obviously bullied. When their ‘policy’ fails to keep people from being bullied – I took matters into my own hands and ended it. Permanently. The guy never dared say another negative word to me again – so it was a win.
This relates to OW/OM too – if they are pissing on your territory, you have the right to defend yourself. If they are in your house, it would be preferable for them to leave in a body bag – but I’m willing to be flexible.
(Once again, I take no responsibility for those using my advice who then get into trouble!)
I love your thinking. I’m a bit the same – but only when totally totally pushed!
fighter, I actually have a pretty long fuse. It was shorter then, still wasn’t what could be described as a ‘short fuse’ though.
But…if you truly piss me off like the above, I will fucking destroy you. From the above story, I know why they call it ‘seeing red’ – my eyesight actually tinted red when it happened. Its one of the few things I remember from the incident.
In her mind, divorce is worse than to be mentally and physically abused.
Sadface,
I think the wrong person got beat up.
I agree. In fact, after everything happened, H’s mother did slapped his son on the face twice. I asked her if she is still worrying he will cheat again, she said he won’t dare, he is afraid his mother to death. So i guess we have to pray his mother lives forever. She also said she doesn’t even care if the H loves her or not, as long as he doesn’t divorce her, she will stay in the marriage, and she doesn’t want anybody to tell her otherwise.
I loved the whole story except for the part when you said she TOOK HIM BACK – and also when she never charged her hubby with assault….it had such promise…….
While I’m glad that the mother-in-law didn’t defend the ow and lash out at her betrayed daughter in law, the MIL seems to be missing the elephant in the room. Her “precious” son is just as responsible as the ow and he punched his own wife. I think the MIL would be better served helping the daughter in law get the hell away from her son.
Well I can’t get anywhere close to you guys freaky levels (for which I would be grateful this Christmas), but here is my Ex entitlement story:
1) I explicitly told my Ex not to sleep with his Ho-worker with whom he had had an E; as we had agreed on a separation, so we could step back and work in our marriage.
2) He admits to sleeping with AP. So I ask if he did it just to get out, because he knew it was a dealbreaker for me.
3) He says that no, he didn’t want out. But for him not sleeping with the AP was a dealbreaker.
Maybe we can have an honorable mention for millennial entitlement issues.
I vote for this one !!!
1. Xh cheated with 2 schmopies (years apart) that had the same first name, this name was also in the title of his favourite band.
2.during false RIC xh took me shopping to buy snow clothing, which turned out to be the same snow clothes scmoopie tried on with him a few weeks earlier and xh sent had pictures of schmoopie in the clothes to scmoopie’s mother for comment.
3. Xh confessed he’d brought schmoopie to our home and that they’d screwed on the rug on the living room floor… while I was sitting on the rug on the living room floor.Eeew.
File under: There isn’t enough disinfectant…
In my bed and the kid’s beds, chump-ness, on the stairs (her favourite fantasy) and on the sofa. She put her head on my pillow and spent the night when I wasn’t there. That he KNEW all this is the hardest thing.
He said he never felt guilty when he was with her. You know in your earlier mis-spent youth when you got that hollow not great feeling afterwards doing stuff with someone you know you shouldn’t have?
He said he never got it.
That’s 1000 red flags right there!
IN THE KIDS BEDS. Holy fucking shit, Batman.
I’m sorry, I think I would’ve ended up in jail after hearing that alone.
My friend lives in a country where people beat each other up in public everyday.
1) On our tenth anniversary, we renewed our wedding vows and took a second honeymoon. While on said second honeymoon, had an extensive conversation initiated by Now-Ex Husband about how, since he’d been caught cheating many times (the vow renewal was part of an attempt at reconciliation and starting over), he’d understand if I cheated and how I could have sex with other men, if I wanted. He’d understand. Heck, maybe he could even participate. Wow.
2) Rolled his truck and almost killed himself and my sister. Later, I found out he was distracted by her head in his lap. Wow. She’d been thrown from the vehicle because she wasn’t buckled. After (though before I knew of the affair), they both got matching tattoos: Ornate crosses that said “Survivor” underneath.
3) Said he invited a “stranger” over late at night while out of town for work because it was Valentine’s and she was lonely and he thought it would help her to have someone to talk to. I found out about her when I saw messages to someone named “Shane” in his phone. He’d told “Shane” that he looked nice that night and that he knew it was tough being alone on Valentine’s and maybe “Shane” should come over after he(she) got back from a night out with friends. Oh, but he warned him(her) to call before she came over. “Shane” was, of course, a woman and also the straw that broke the camels back. I ended up leaving Now-Ex in the aftermath of that final affair.
Your SISTER? Matching tattoos? We have a contender. OMG.
Yes. And a cross, no less! In ICU and on a ventilator, she wrote on a notepad, “Was the wreck my fault?” Yes. Yes, it was.
After the wreck and after her very lengthy hospital stay, he took the liberty of assisting her in her recovery, hero that he was (barf). She lived alone and had a broken pelvis, several broken vertebrae, and other injuries. He stayed out of work (he was self-employed) to “help” her. When I voiced my opinion about how that might not be appropriate, he told me, point-blank, that he would see her whether I wanted him to or not. Meanwhile, I pulled rabbits out of hats to pay the bills since he wasn’t bringing in any money.
Wow, must have been a surreal conversation to learn that the crash was caused by a distracting blowjob…dang. The Karma Bus crashed fast and hard on that situation.
Well, the real crappy part in all that is…
My sister, evidently, broke off the affair and my Now-Ex became angry and resentful and had only hateful things to say about her. I was still oblivious at this time. My sister was an addict and – I think – her guilt over the affair only pushed her deeper into her downward spiral. She passed away suddenly several years later. Drug toxicity was the official cause. Only after her passing did I learn the real truth about her and Now Ex. He admitted to an affair with her and I found out all the details from multiple other sources. I was never able to confront her, never able to ask her why, never able to glean any sort of closure. As such, my grief over her death is complicated and mostly unresolved.
Yeah. And yet he still thinks it’s acceptable to motion for more custody, flake out on court-ordered child support, and generally treat me like a punching bag because I had the nerve to leave him.
My condolences for your sister. I think my wife ended up in a similar spiral.
In early May 2013, Yahoo shut down it’s chatroom service, cutting off her main pool of new boyfriend material. Right at the same time her last boyfriend (the one she actually physically slept with during and after the pregnancy) stopped talking to her.
[They always, every single one of them, abandoned her in the end. She was always up front with them that she was married and unhappy, so the only guys anything ever happened with were guys who were knowingly messing around with a married woman. When you filter out all the decent guys right off the top, what chance do you really have?]
It was right at this time that the pill abuse got really bad. Circumstances forced her to go cold-turkey and stop self-medicating with guys, so she drifted right into self-medicating with medicine. Guilt over the affairs and stress over the secret-keeping almost certainly contributed to the downward spiral that ensued, ending with “drug toxicity” on the medical examiner’s report, discovering her chat archives while reclaiming her online accounts, and one /hell/ of a complicated grief scenario for me to trudge through.
It’s really nice being able to talk about it here though. Thank you all.
Wow. I’m so sorry. It’s hard to forgive someone who’s no longer here and never apologized before they were gone.
I actually searched the internet for situations such as mine and found nothing, obviously. I may have been with one of the more seriously-disordered of disordered cheaters.
It is nice to be able to talk it all through here. In my world, I can’t talk about my sister because she’s gone and she was young and you can’t be mad at a ghost and, really, how can I be mad and talk through it all with my mother, who will never recover from the loss of her other child?
HeatDeath & MermaidDani–there are not sufficient words to say how sorry I am for what you both endured, and have to emotionally confront on your own.
Heat Death and Dani, so sorry for your awful situations that were done to you.
Addicts are sadly the most self-absorbed people (but apparently recovered [dealt with their inner hell] addicts are the most loyal and dependable people you could ever meet)
Narcissism and addiction are closely linked, my addiction specialist IC said. ‘Its easy to have a relationship with a bottle. Bottles don’t have needs’.
The trauma and recovery of of alcoholic and narcissistic abuse is very similar (lots of Chumpy reading trying to make sense of it). I find Al Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics 12 step program a complete gift. There is a lot of love and acceptance in those rooms. It isn’t a self-help programme, its a God-help programme.
I
In case you missed my story..I thought I was a unicorn in reconciliation when I was actually a superchump in a wreckonciliation. He fessed up to an EA with one OW and after he died I learned it was PAs with many OWs over many years. He is dead and betrayed me for YEARS…just to twist the knife, I was TRUE BLUE, never betrayed him even in the slightest. He was mean and angry and likely died (at least partially) from a guilty conscience…he didnt feel well and refused to go to a doctor then dropped dead.
Unicornnomore: My situation is quite similar to yours in a lot of ways: I found suspect texts within the first years of our marriage. I accepted the lies that they didn’t mean anything and that she would stop it, [and ate the furious gaslighting, as HOW DARE I even suspect her of such a thing!?!] and moved on. The extent of the serial adulteries that followed after that was a complete shock to me when I found her chat archives after she passed (though in retrospect I missed or ignored literally dozens of red flags).
I forgave her unconditionally for the texts, and moreover, made it perfectly clear that I would refuse to divorce her, no matter what she did [Superchump!, as you say]. This was supposed to be a grand selfless gesture that would make her feel perfectly secure in our marriage. She apparently took it as “I don’t care about you or our marriage at all.”, and permission to double down on her hunt for the perfect “romantic” boyfriend. What I thought was a reconciliation was indeed a wreckoncilliation, exactly as you say.
Patsy: Thank you. At the time my wife passed I was already reading Narc-Anon material – I understood and had already internalized that her pill addiction was nothing to do with me, and that there was really nothing I could do to fix it. I didn’t know at the time that the pill addiction ramped up after circumstances cut off her ability to self-medicate with boyfriends, but I knew she had had an addictive personality years before I even met her – mostly retail: shoes, baby clothes (years before she had any serious intentions of getting pregnant), etc. Narc-anon was, indeed, very helpful to me.
I had come to the realization, by the time of her death, that I was, and on some level always had been, in an emotionally abusive relationship. I don’t know that I would ever have achieved the ability to actually leave her. In a very real way, it’s like her death forced me into a circumstance that I should have been heading towards on my own (disengagement and no contact), but that I probably would never have been able to do myself. I would never have wished for her death, not in a billion years, but since she died I am in, and heading towards, a much, much better place in terms of emotional and mental health.
And that last sentence there is the ultimate taboo for a widow or widower to say, or even think. Nobody who hasn’t gone similarly complicated grief will ever be able to accept a person saying things like that about their deceased spouse. The complicated grief “that dare not speak it’s name”, so to speak.
HeatDeath & MermaidDani – I am so, so sorry!!
And HeathDeath – it’s totally understandable that maybe you are headed to a better place since her passing – I mean, she mistreated you. Makes sense to me.
Mermaid
The disordered prey on the weak and vulnerable. And to get involved with your young sister who obviously was fighting her own demons earns him the title of a vindictive sociopath. The untold story will never be known with her passing. This I know, sociopaths like your X are so very toxic they AIM to destroy and maim with their sadistic blame. Therefore, I would not believe his account of the facts given his inhumane actions.
Moving forward protect your children because he WILL use them. I am finding out more and more about the abuse X inflicted on my children. He is a VERY dangerous person. Keep a journal. Record everything your children report.
I’m sorry for the tragic ending of your sisters life. His reaction? To further disgrace her memory to you, your mother? This is by far a very dangerous individual.
This would be cause for justifiable homicide under the Texas ‘he needed killing’ defence
I missed the part about one-sentence submissions. Sorry.
I think the comments for today have long since drifted from “tersely worded contest entries” into “highly therapeutic group-therapy session”. 🙂
Isn’t it wonderful HeatDeath!!! YA for therapy!
Yes. I learned of the serial cheating while I was preparing for my wedding …the deacon was so scared that I would respond with “How can I trust anyone ever again!?” and cancel my wedding and instead I loudly declared “He was an asshole and he stole enough of my life already…Im going to love and trust and have all the things he cheated me out of”…you’ve never seen a Deacon so glad to hear the word “asshole”.
Your sister? :-O
My douche bag of a husband invited his mistress to both our children’s weddings. Our kids never liked her to begin with and protested, but, of course, that made no difference to him.
My gawd! WHO are these people that have conversations like this? Certainly not people I would choose to hang out with. Geeeeeeeze.
STBX’s OW took my daughter to her baby shower and made her help open up gifts. I was told she looked like she was going to cry. Both love to say how the kids are so happy.
Talk about emotional abuse! This takes the cake!
1) The whore dog asked me to adopt his whore’s dog.
2) The day he was removing his possessions from my home, he told me he wanted his can opener. As his 4 helpers and brother watched, I got it from the drawer and said ‘Here–you can have it. Like you, it doesn’t work’.
3) Soon after midnight rang in at a New Year’s Eve gala, he announced he’d just been notified his best friend had been in a car accident and he’d been asked to come watch the kids while wife went to the hospital. He took me home and rushed away. still in his tux. He finally returned 4 days later–in casual clothes that I recognized as his. He and his whore had this all planned–he’d gone to be with her.
Sorry, CL. I know you asked for one sentence submissions. These idiots can rarely be summed up in one line….
Wow, the stupid, involved stories!! All the brain power they have, goes into ‘how to get away with something!’
LOVE the crack about the can opener! So perfect, and applies to my X as well!
Go Hesatthecurb!!
1. While working abroad STBX dated OW for a year, using an assumed name and fabricated history. Mortified OW found his real name, contacted me, and subsequently sent me over 350 pages of sexts and emails that occurred between them.
2. While on a business trip STBX wined, dined, and hit on another woman, who also happened to be a relative.
3. While still married and asking family to immigrate for his work, contacted a matchmaker using an assumed name.
Sheesh, 2016 has to be better!
Agreed, we could all do with a better 2016! Kudos to the OW who told you when she found out. I know, not much consolation for being married to a jackass.
You’d almost think that this OW was a normal, decent person. Being mortified, telling the faithful spouse the truth…. But sending 360 pages of sexts and emails? Wouldn’t one or two bits of evidence suffice?
I think sending a all the texts was so he couldn’t wiggle out if it. It’s like a truck load of two by fours. Reading through it was disturbing. I wish I didn’t know she calls him daddy.
Cheaters seem to be so wordy. 350 pages is just excessive for anything. I know. Everything is excessive.
Well, to be fair to the OW, she did offer to send the information straight to my lawyer and cautioned me against reading the emails/texts. However, I felt that I needed to see what I was dealing with. At the minimum he is a pathological liar and if he tries to lie during the divorce process the info could come in handy, It is a record of a fabricated life. They were together a year…everything she thought she knew about him… name, place of work, family history, age, ethnic background, education etc…. was fake. I definitely could have done without the explicit sexual content though.
I’ve unknowingly been the OW (this was before my recent X turned out to be a serial cheat, etc), and I can say, definitely, I sent LOTS of evidence to the wife, cos I was so worried he would paint me as a psycho and lie his way out of it skill fully. He was so charming. So I needed evidence to SHOW her what a dick he was.
Interesting.
Oh and STBX told me there was a woman that just went through a really bad divorce and was feeling bad about herself and couldn’t even afford a hair cut. He asked if I would be willing to give her a free haircut. And being the obivious chump I am said of course. She came into my home played with my kids. I cut and styled her hair. She even gave me a hug and said thank you. Yep turns out she was banging my husband.
Oblivious, I hate spell check.
I will never understand these freaks. Never.
This story really does show how you just become an ‘object of use’ and have ceased to exist for the narcissist.
The complete lack of empathy or any imagining how it might make you feel. When I would point this out, (that he never stopped to think how I would feel) I would just get a hard stare in return. Didn’t understand narcissism then.
As my IC said: Patsy, you will never have a relationship with this man. Well, you can – when he is dead.
Waiting.
1. X, currently under an active Protective Order for domestic violence, sent me an email last week saying he was sending a friend to our house to pick up X’s guns for him.
2. He wanted the Waterford crystal decanter, too.
3. And the picture of our family rafting down the river.
Nothing says “love” like a violent person with guns, crystal and pictures of rafting trips.
Eve, please report that request as a violation of the protective order. Also be aware that if anyone tries to talk you into dropping the PO on behalf of your ex, that too is a violation. And of course, don’t let those guns go to him, do lock them up somewhere. I know, I’ve had a PO on my ex since 2011. Jedi Hugs!
Dat, I hadn’t thought about reporting him to the court. That’s a good idea. And I still have the guns, as well as the crystal AND the rafting picture! Hard to get to meh when vindictive, unstable X lives two blocks away and we have a 16year old together.
There must be someplace you can store them so you’re not responsible for them and he can’t get them. Dammit, why don’t charity shops have ‘keep you safe by taking crazies guns away’ shop.
1. Always being told I was not romantic enough. She being out of town every week working for 8 years. I raising two kids and working 50 hour weeks….. My approaches were not sensual enough. Then finding her 20 somethings come ons….. I am going to cum on your face! Finding out dinner and roses were misguided! Should have just said let me bukkakie you!
2. She always said sex was not her favorite thing….. Her 4 year fling was nothing but sex… but hey I should be happy to know she still is not a sexual creature…. and I was better at it than him!
3. My gift was STD appt with doc because obviously he was safe! She did not use protection!
4. Turns out not only did she act like a porno queen for him…. I paid for the alcohol and the hotels!
5. It excited her that he told her she was the best sex he ever had!
6. But there is no comparisons going on in her head!
7. She sent me a picture of her post shaved vagina! That was great till I found out it was for him!
8. I could go on and on!
holy crap DavidB I had to go google bukkakie then when I saw what it mean, that was one of my Ex’s sick fantasies though realize now it was prob a reality he just talked about it with me. who are these ppl???
Yes! My recent X had an paid account with a bukkakie website. I, too, had to google it.
WHAT? David, they just don’t care at all, do they? How much humiliation is there in the world. You do get to a stage where you truly, truly understand: this is NOT about you. You never deserved this, and you actually didn’t do anything to cause it.
Her behaviour is on her.
David. So sorry.
I read an email from my ex to one of his OW, a girl he’d dated while in high school. He told her he’d chosen a name for our son from a memory he had of something they had done together (this was news to me). He said that when I named our daughter I was probably thinking of some other man, too. I hadn’t been.
Oh boy 🙁
1. satan started meowing at me every time I would try to talk to him. He did this for 6 months. He would only speak to me if he had something to say, which was usually demeaning and cruel. I thought he had a brain tumor.
2. The meowing stopped after I saw his super secret cell phone. He came out of the bathroom with only a towel on and the super secret cell phone in his hand. …he proceeded to try to break my back cause I’d SEEN it but was thwarted by my rescue dog who went for his balls and got him off me. I love my dog 🙂
3. satan ran away (!!!! lol!!! coward!) after the cell phone incident and I didn’t see or hear from him for several days. One morning about 2 am I woke up to find him standing over my bed…scary shit this…he whipped the covers off of me and licked me from my groin to my chin and then ran away laughing. (???) He proceeded to do this off and on for a week or so (I was a walking zombie by this point, barely able to function). I had the locks changed and unplugged the garage door opener whenever I was in the house after that.
…ugh…I am so happy to be satan free 😀
Jeep, that is some fucked up shit !!!
Certainly is Anita! Scary disordered drunken abusive asshole…thank God I am satan free!!!
If that is not possession I don’t know what is.
After the brain tumor thought possession was my next thought, yes, ChumpFromF!
Jeep for the win! I am thoroughly creeped out and it didn’t even happen to me. A restraining order may be necessary here! Plus the whole meowing thing. Dude is not dealing with a full deck to be sure!
Yay for rescue dogs!
😀 Cindy my Beau is just an awesome dog!!!!
The next time satan had the nerve to come around (he had been arrested for domestic violence and PO’d and still came to my house to accuse me of stealing his cell phone!!! WHA???) Beau sat down in front of him – BETWEEN us, thank you! – and showed satan all his teeth!!! Looked like he was smiling! satan started to come closer and Beau growled real low and showed him his teeth some more while his hackles rose. Man what an awesome dog huh!!! asshole slunk away, probably hoping I wouldn’t call the police.
That’s so awesome Jeep! Dog’s (especially those that have been rescued) are amazing protectors – they’re so grateful. I’ve got one as well. I sleep very secure at night. His name is “Chucky” and he’d kick some butt for sure.
Oh yes Cindy!!!! Our dogs are MUCH BETTER companions than the disordered companions we used to have to put up with!!!!!
Thank you cheaterssuck!!!
To be sure! satan is one sick narc!
OMG! Meowing? And the licking?
Can not decide whether to laugh or cringe. This takes me to both ends of the spectrum. The world’s best fiction writers could never come up with that!
To be sure AllOutofKibble I didn’t think I would ever be normal again after the hell he put me through…I’m sure all of us know how soul shattering narc abuse is. 🙁
I am so grateful to have found CL and all of you. Moving far away from satan and this site has sped up my healing to be sure! Thank you! ALL of you!
Hmmm. I’m not sure I speak disorder human cat, but I’m guessing “Meow, meow, meeeeooooow” means I’m a jerk. Why are you still with me?
I would try hissing or barking in return. That might get your message across.
Lol SueB!! As a matter of fact, after he started meowing at me, I had set satan’s ring tone on my cell as a barking dog!!! One day, for some reason, he came in the back of the house and called me and heard it. He stormed into the kitchen where I was making dinner and told me to fuck myself if that is what I thought of him. Wha???!!!
These people think they are all that and a bag of chips!
Are tasers legal where you live? I think I need a shower after reading what he did to you! And yay to your dog!
I kept a spray bottle of ammonia close by in the house…and my .357 🙂 There was no way I was going to let him hurt me anymore. I’m pretty small and he is much larger…I called 911 to save my life…all of the now no longer friends are mad that he was arrested…they actually BLAME me for him abusing me…and they don’t believe that he did…ugh…I don’t see or talk to any of them anymore. My own brother and his wife are among that crowd…I don’t understand that but…I can live with it…it’s on them not me.
That is so creepy and scary. A very good reason to sleep with your finger on the trigger of a gun.
You bet it is. satan is one messed up scary narc…probably a sociopath as well…and an alcoholic. Mean…nasty…cruel…inhuman…even dogs don’t like him…at least MY dog…who used to be HIS dog as well. I trust my dog!
Jeep–if I had access to a time machine, I’d go back and drown your X at birth.
Yeah for Beau!!
Thank you Tempest!!!! 😀 Would that I could find you one!!!! I’d come along and help!! His mother might have even appreciated that!!! She was constantly trying to tell me that I really didn’t know who he was! She would say, ‘Jeep you don’t SEE him!!!’ Now I know she was entirely correct! He would say she is just crazy, …same thing he tells people about me now… Bet he forgets to tell them bout the meowing and beatings!!!!
I have been reading Chumplady for about 3 years.
This is one of the CRAZIEST cheaters I’ve read about. He and the blue Yeti would get on like a house on fire!
Amen RobinLee! satan and the yeti would get on well together 😀
satan had a way of picking up the habits of his ‘acquaintances’ so I’m thinkin one of his hos meowed. Regardless the effect on me was the same…circular thinking and second guessing myself. Complete devastation.
I am so glad to be satan free.
Geez Jeep. You’ve spoken about Satan before, but this is some scary shit! My stbxh was a creep as well. When I finally refused to be his sex tool, he started groping me in my sleep. One night I was in bed alone, and thought I heard somebody in my bedroom. I looked up… nobody there. I woke up a second and third time, and finally concluded I was just going crazy. I felt a hand on me… I flicked the light on… he had been crawling across the floor so I wouldn’t see him, and woke me up the final time when he tried to get his hand under my covers! He was all kinds of crazy after dark. I hope the PTSD lessens… to this day I still feel like I’m being creeped on, especially at night. But hey, we got out! Glad you’re Satan free.
Oh my word. Horror story!!
// , I … I think this wins.
Can you imagine waking up from a strange dream in the middle of the night to see someone just staring at you?
I think the effort was to violate your sense of self and safety, actually.
Anonymous Coward I think you are right…of course there is that disordered, entitled side to it also…cowardly non human couldn’t make up his mind what he really wanted and wanted to keep his options open.
Truly he never expected me to actually divorce him and leave forever…before I went NC he told me I am the only woman he will ever love…I told him we have radically different definitions of ‘love’. Then I blocked him everyway from my life.
God bless you, Jeep, that is some scary stuff for sure!!!! Meowing?!?!?
me thing the evil one can say (with pride in his voice) is that he never hit me. I told him once that I wish he had- at least physical abuse heals, he didn’t understand what I meant…
Thank you UnsinkableMolly 😀
My realtor was married to a disordered narc many years ago and almost died at his hands…she divorced him and 2 years later he kicked in her door and put a gun to her head! He told her if he couldn’t have her no one could. She helped me see how dangerous satan is and how important it was for me to move away as quickly as I could.
…as soon as the property transfer for my new home was in the paper he showed up in my driveway. Rocked me pretty hard.
…so far I am okay and I think he has finally moved on.
They don’t like it when they feel like we got one over on em…when all we are really doing is trying to have a normal life.
1) The first affair went on for 3 years, while I grew and birthed 3 children in 2 years/3 months, and I’d find vague snippets here and there and confronted them both, each time.
2).While the second was 4 months old and I was newly pregnant with the third, I found something else and told the OW about me being pregnant again… when would she realize he was lying to her too?
3) Wherein the OW burst into a vicious, cackling shriek and told me, “Of COURSE you are! Stop spreading your legs for him and getting pregnant like a WHORE.”.
*******************
??!!!! Yes, because previously deciding that you’d like three children – want to have them and then be done (I grew up in a massive family of 14 children and didn’t want to start the baby-toddler phase over and over again, every few years, like my parents) – and then doing just that, as planned, WITH MY HUSBAND… that makes ME a whore. mmmkay.
Ugh. The OW in my story called me a whore too. I replied “That’s Mrs. Whore to you.” Which is pathetic. And funny. But really pick me dance pathetic.
When I told Cheater what she said, he said, “That’s crazy – so mean.”
And then he said she was stalking him; that’s why he’d called her phone… a co-worker must have given it to her, thinking she was a customer.
Sure – that’s why a Private number hangs up when *I* answer. She only answered me because instead saying “Hello?,” I said, “How goes it, Whore?” She then spoke and told me that only jealous, insecure wives don’t let their husbands have friends. That I was too controlling and he wasn’t answering her calls.
But I guess they kept at it for another 1.5 years, until we bought a house and he apparently thought it would be great if he changed his number again and didn’t tell her where he lived. (She’d show up in the wee hours, text his cell, and they’d meet in the park behind our house. You know… the park we go to everyday… in the dugout where my children play ball… on the benches around the ponds where we feed ducks, geese, and swans… on the hill where we go sledding and watch fireworks and attend concerts and festivals. But NEVER on the playground… that would be indecent. ?? No – it’s more like the playground is directly in front of the entrance to the village police station… with motion-detecting lights. WAY TO SHIT ON OUR CHILDREN’S CHILDHOOD. Everywhere in our village is a trigger.) Or, he’d let her know when he’d sent other salespeople home because it was slow, and they’d do nasty shit in the back room until the front bell would ring for a customer.
THEY are the whores.
My ex took our son’s on vacation for Christmas, ( strangely to a city where new girlfriend lived) and used the money their grandfather had sent the boys for Christmas to buy his new, much younger new girlfriend jewelry for Christmas.
When the boys asked him for the money they knew their grandfather had sent them so that they could go shopping, he told them he had spent their money on the motel they were staying in. The boys did not understand why they were paying for the motel when the trip was their present from dear old Dad.
The boys saw the jewelry in a store at the mall, and thought it was strange that it cost the same amount grandfather had sent them.
It is pretty bad when two teen-age boys can detect the BS story their Dad tells them, and know in their hearts that dear old dad is fully capable of thinking this entire dastardly deed through, and that he fully believes he can both pull it off with no one the wiser and that he is fully willing to do this to them, to grandfather, and to the new girlfriend who has no clue, yet, about what a jewel she has taken up with.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a “Good Grief!”.
This here is the epitome of entitlement on your fuckwit ex’s part. This shit makes my blood boil. Fuck him. Seriously – fuck him.
PowerPoint for a boob job?! Holy shit! I guess you could respond with a one-page divorce summons…
Chump Lady, wouldn’t want to be you in this invidulating. You have your work cut out! I had NO idea there were so many freaks passing for normal out there ….
EH shortly after moving out: “I need some paper towels, tissue paper and laundry detergent”.
Me: “Do I look like a Walmart employee?”
The next time he dropped off the children, as I looked out the window, he was skipping (really high skipping, no kidding) to his car with a roll of paper towels under his arm and a smile.
Now, I am smiling…changed garage code and sent him a roll for his birthday.
Asshat did this too! He would saunter in, late for his promised dinners with our child, and ask, “Where do we keep the paper towel? I ran out of toilet paper. Can I get some soap?” Dude makes six figures and is at the freaking store five times a week. He can’t buy his own toilet paper?! I reminded him he raged at me for stocking up on things (that we need and use) and he replied he was just saving money. This was, naturally, pre D-Day.
TP for his birthday is a good one!
Mine came into the kitchen after dropping off the kids, took the lid off the candy dish, and helped himself. WTF?
Mine did this too…WTF?! “I’m going out there to find myself, but can I stock up first?” Please…
Yep, when TEO moved out, he realized after moving out that he didn’t have the money to pay to have the gas turned on for his gas-powered water heater. So, what does he do? Tries to sweet talk me into o “working things out” and “moved” back in with me…lasted two weeks before I threw him out!!! He actually took the toothpaste, soap, and and toilet paper when he officially moved out.
Fuck-tard assholes, all is f them.
I found out from the OW’s soon to be ex that the reason he offered to house and feed my ex and offered an unlimited supply of sympathy and thought how great it was that his wife could be such good platonic friends with a male (meanwhile the two of them were boinking under his roof whenever they had a chance) was because they told him the reason my ex had to leave me (uh….I booted him out when I finally put two and two together after finding the cell phone records and disgusting sext messages) was because the last time my ex “went down” on me, he smelled blueberry lube. Say what??!! Is there such a thing? Obvious evidence that I must be having an affair (I never looked at another man for over 33 years!) If such a thing exists–and I’m sure it does–I’m thinking they were the ones using it–that dried up old tw^t!
If you guys had never used it, how was your husband so familiar with it that he could tell what flavour it was? They think the details, the intensely layered lying makes them more believable … It just puts whip cream on the bullshit.
1. My only Christmas gift last year was a card that read, ” Thank you for all the great years you have given to me. You are the best a man could ask for. No one could ever take your place. I love you forever.” Six weeks later, he started an affair.
2. He left on the Friday of my birthday weekend to spend it with his white trash whore that he had only known for two weeks. Little did he know that I would find out on Saturday morning.
3. He sent me a text message on Sunday, my birthday, which said, “I don’t love you any more, I’m moving on.” That was his gift to me after 37 years together.
Chump433
The stupid shit cheaters say right before the drop.
He cut his wedding band with pliers and told my daughter it broke.
May 7 love you! May 3rd called her.
Yep, I got a refund from a settlement and the first thing he asked me was what I was getting him??? I ended up getting him a $200.00 gas grill for an advance Fathers Day and birthday gift four months in advance. My birthday was a month later from me buying this gift, what did I get???? A lovey-dovey card and promises of some high-dollar gifts that I never did get…
Two weeks later, D-Day…he moved out six weeks later.
Hope you kept the grill
Hell no, Donna…dammit…should have, I know!!!! Sonofabitch took it with him. I should have kept it, bit I was like, I hope you choke on the food you cook on it…
x wasband decreed in the grand finale discard “I would have honored my marital vows but you did not die soon enough!”
Five months later when reviewing the financial wreckage from while I was very sick and summarily discarded, I noticed that the last Valentine’s Day we were married, x wasband was making ATM withdrawals at a club down the street from home during the hours he should have been at work. I called the club and they verified the days of the withdrawals were widow and widower dances.
He wanted me dead, was possibly trying to kill me with my medication and pretending I was dead at dances the next town over…
I cant even
If you can sum that up in a couple of sentences, this is a definite contender! Your husband was pretending to be a widow while he’s trying to kill you!! Glad you got away!
You win. :/
No words to describe this…
WTAF …
Holy shit, ENM!!!! Wow, I can’t even…speechless…
MOW told me she didn’t believe in monogamy while I was standing next to H at a party. I didn’t know they had just started fucking in the backseat of her car in public parking lots around our town.
My contributions seem pale in comparison but here goes
1) OW wore a $39,000 diamond engagement ring from her fiance while she banged my husband (he promised her a $40,000 replacement for it when their dreams came true, no matter there was no $ for that)
2) After our family made YEARS of sacrifices for cheaters military career, he planned his retirement ceremony around Schmoopie’s schedule but forgot that he had school-aged kids who wouldn’t be able to make it that day. (Who needs to consider their kids when they have a SCHMOOP!?)
3) I have a photo from his retirement ceremony and (bonus!) there are 2 of his OWs in it…didn’t know he porked the other one until after he died. Isn’t that special? (picture Dana Carvey/Church Lady here)
#1 is the epitome of entitled scumbag narcissistic whores everywhere. Can’t people be content with something that costs a few hundred at most? Nope – because its all about them and SHINY KIBBLES OMG.
Planned around Schmoopies schedule? Was she there? What was the gift, and what WAS his reaction/explanation to you, his sister and his mom?
Last question, have you told them, or are you keeping quiet?
Geez UNM, there are just no words. I have a very mild narcissist compared to the complete freaks and sociopaths on this thread, and he was cruel and soul-destroying enough.
The retirement ceremony was after BD when he had told me he was divorcing me for sure but he didnt leave…went deep into cake eating and taking advantage of my “pick me dance” although he told me it was “pathetic”(he was right). At some point he told me to not bother to even go to the event but I had 2 kids that needed to be there so I went.
This is a pisser…he could tell I was really upset just before the ceremony and he didnt want me to embarrass him, so minutes before it started, he told me that our marriage would survive that we would “get through this together” …it was a ploy to keep me temporarily calm all of which he retracted 2 hours later. Fucker.
Susan of Seattle was there, in the second row…brought a fake date for appearances. She brought my then 3rd grader a big lollipop (Im guessing there was a future step mom plan underfoot at the time).
The gift was loose chinese tea with rosebuds in it. I told him that the day one of his sweaty smelly US Marine friends gave him tea with rosebuds then that gift would be appropriate. Me his mom and sister were all “assume the best” sorts of people but he could tell he had pushed our limits. I did later tell his mom that he was”involved with” SofS; his sister was the only family member I later told about his serial adultery.
After we were home and I learned that he was adulterous with SofS, I put the tea in the toilet and pooped on it.
For a while he lobbied for us to move to Seattle…that would have simplified his life and cake eating. Our oldest son was going into his senior year and I said I wouldnt move him 3000 miles…nowdeadhusband said “Oh we can just leave him behind”. Shitty father put his whore before his son. fucker. My heart goes out to the mom above whose cheater bailed on their special needs kids…there is a special place in hell…
I love the ending of this.
I would like to rent out and live in your basement, but I will be with OW on the weekends so that I won’t bother you.
I did not give you that recently diagnosed STD. It must have been from your previous boyfriend 33 YEARS AGO.
OW did not try to run you off the road. She is so sweet and would NEVER hurt another person. And no, I do not want to see the police report because I don’t believe them.
Hope it is ok to enter one more:
The roof of OUR vacation home started leaking on OW and I in the middle of the night right over the bed. You don’t mind taking care of the repairs, do you? Oh, and I would like it repaired today!!
The cheater that wanted to live in your basement is LEGENDARY. A version of it wound up in a “letter” in my new book. I combined that story with another true story — the cheater who wanted his chump to invest in a wine bar for him and the OW.
The staggering entitlement… it’s comic gold.
And disordered as hell.
I should add that my editor thought I made this shit up. I’m like NO it’s based on REAL letters I get! My imagination isn’t that good!
Hi CL. Guess where Ex is living now? Wait for it–his Mommys basement. He is only 60 years old!
Bwhahahaha
Think I will send him a case of hot pockets wrapped up with a pretty bow for Christmas.
Oh wait-never mind. I don’t think mommy has a microwave!
Love that he did end up in a basement…his mom’s! HA!
Should call him Grendel
Awesome! X-hole is also living in momsies basement. His credit is so horrible no one will (or should) rent to him and with his unfiled taxes and back child support he will never be able to get financed to purchase a home. Sucks to be him, disordered idiot.
I met a chump online whose cheater was a prison guard and impregnanted an inmate then asked the chump to give him and (later released from jail) OW money to start a pretzel business…he couldnt figure out why she was so pissed at his request.
my cheater told me he would live in the guest room and come and go thru the side door so as not to bother me. told me this Dday night, same night I told him no, he was leaving. he then asked if it was ok if he came back the next day to shower as he and OW had a date the next night.
After things blew up with OW, xH asked if he could stay with me because it was miserable staying with her – they were fighting all the time.
No, no, and no.
My asswipe, had the nerve to ask me if he could move back in, live on the other side of the house, after I threw him out. And this was 5 minutes after I told him you gave me an STD! What part of get the fuck out don’t you understand????
I forgot to mention, he wanted to move back in and still see the howorker! You can’t make this crap up!
ruggermom, she tried to run you off the road?! I am glad the police took you seriously and filed a report. I am still living in fear that OW is not done stalking me 🙁 When she would threaten me, through him or by illegally accessing my personal info at work, he would insist she was just trying to punish him and I was being ridiculous. She is sooooooo nice and would never hurt me or our child. She is a delusional liar who still wants me gone. She looked up my medications and stole my SS #. Yes, she is a perfect angel.
Chumpy, not only did she try to run me off the road, but she tried to run me over about a year later. Unfortunately there were no witnesses or cameras in the lot this took place. I have a friend who is the chief of police in the neighboring city and he had her watched for a while. I don’t know any other motive besides moving the divorce along quicker. She is so sweet and classy that I had a pair of crotchless panties hanging on my front door the day the divorce was finalized. Thank you Jay Jay Butterface!
I hope you are documenting everything Chumpy and involving the police and witnesses if possible. Hard to believe that we have to deal with both of their craziness.
Oh, nothing physical has actually happened to me. Yet. Two police departments, my lawyer, a therapist, my doctors etc have been told but I can’t do anything legally. In less than two months, I can sing like a canary. Hopefully, it will drive her out of town (if she’s still here) and my diseased husband as well! A good six months after being dumped, she was still getting into my personal files but that has been sorted…. People keep telling me she has left town or gotten over it though nobody, with the possible exception of my cheater, actually knows because she is a shifty bitch who socialized with nobody in two years in town. She somehow found herself unemployed and that bastard never bothered to tell me. A) I am sure she contacted him to tell him all about it (her version) and B) he knew how frightened I was that she would hurt me or our young child. Would it have killed him to lie and tell me she moved away? He has not mentioned her name in over six months. We are apparently pretending nothing happened and everything is rosy. Crotchless panties. Niiiiiiiiiice.
Ruggermom, NO. Just …. no.
Ex met his long-distance true-love Schmoopie at my 25th reunion… from a very small high school. In my first grade class photo, Schmoopie and I are standing right next to one another!
OK, here we go…
1) My ex husband was a big-time John. He not only visited prostitutes 2-3 times a month, but he was also VERY active on a John/Whore online message board when he wrote about his escapades in great detail for the world to see.
2) He was quite famous on this message board. He actually created a “logo” for the whores who were particularly talented in recieving anal sex. It was a little blue logo with his ridiculous screen name and then the word “Approved” with a big “thumbs up” graphic. The whores were proud to display their logos on the pages and the fellow Johns would then know that if a whore got this award, the back door was open for business. (awwwww sweet)
3) While confronting my ex with my knowledge of the site and his divorce papers, I looked him square in the eye, shot him the bird about 6 inches from his face, and told him that this divorce would NOT be (screen name) approved. No deer in any headlights, ever, ever, ever, gave the stunned, disbelieving, shocked look my ex husband mustered at that moment.
Thumbs up!
I must be exceptionally naïve, because it’s hard to imagine how one is especially skilled at receiving anal…. I mean… What does one do to make it a special skill?
I’ll stay naïve, thanks.
Ha ha, snakebit. That’s a good question. I guess I assumed that these were the cream o’ the crop whores that pretended not to be totally grossed out the most. It’s about as un-naïve as I want to be.
1. STBX faked germ cell testicular cancer so that I would continue to finance the household and feel sorry for him while he continued his “friendship” with his co-worker and continue to visit erotic massage parlors. It also was the perfect excuse for him to not be intimate with me because the “treatment” was making him sick. He even went so far as to shave his head and never allowed me to go to one treatment or doctors appointment with him.
2. Spent all my money on his activities (see above) to the point where my car for repo’d outside a movie theater and when I called him at midnight after my night out with girlfriends and asked him to come pick me up, he left me stranded in a parking lot for over 2 hours in the middle of the night while he covered his financial tracks. I earned the money and I stupidly trusted him to pay all the bills as I was too tired from my 60+hour a week job, raising 3 kids not my own including a disabled child, and taking care of my cancer stricken husband.
3. We are/were legal guardians to my nieces and nephew. When he moved out to be with his second affair partner/co-worker, he continued to use the children’s financial benefits to pay for his affair activities. My nephew is disabled and needs a lot of care and his money has been paying for the STBX to pay for Theme park trips and dinners out. He still has yet to turn over the money and has put my nephews bank account in a -$2,000 deficit.
I really love how the OW continues to post all over social media that my husband is a real “gem” and she is perpetuating the tale of the terrible, nagging, unappreciative wife to legitimize her fairytale story.
Faking cancer isn’t just… Awful. It’s… I dunno. I feel like you should be able to press charges. That’s terrible
What a fucking dirt bag. Oy!
He’s a monster. You need to call whatever agency is awarding those kids funds and REPORT HIM TO THE AUTHORITIES for fraud. ASAP. Do it for those kids.
He is seriously disordered.
On the faking cancer — that’s seriously batshit.
Because I’m a real soft chump, even after discovering the fraud to pay for his affair, I begged him to do the right thing and pay back the kids their money so I didn’t have to report it. Ultimately, I did report it to the FEDERAL government. He still hasn’t tried to pay it back and is still running around with his girlfriend so happy together. The fates of destiny kept them apart and the 13 years he spent with me paled in comparison to the love he now has with his real love. The sick part is that they are both government employees and they go to church together now to pray for their cancer remissions. Yes, she is also a cancer survivor. Hers was a real diagnosis, however.
The sick part is that my 4 year old, disabled nephew doesn’t have a father (who killed himself on Christmas) and loved my husband like a real father. When he asks where he’s at, I’m at a loss for words other to say he’s a bad boy and on time out forever. Thanks to Chump Lady, whenever I start to miss my STBX, I read from the archives and I’m so thankful to have the low life gone. Stealing from his wife? Despicable. Stealing from a disabled child who has nothing to begin with – I truly hope that Karma bus comes and rolls over and reverses and pulls over several time. And I hope I don’t care when it happens.
My God Chump Bear,
A million prayers going your way.
My Lord, chumpBear….wow….
Es, TEO stole ALOT of money from over-drafting our joint account to out all night…never paid it back, but stealing from a disabled child!?!?! Oh, I wish murder was legal and moral in some cases….
Also, apparently the reason TEO didn’t have sex with me as much in the final months was because his diabetes medicine has a side effect of causing yeast infections and he was “too embarrassed” about it to even tell me….
Yeah, OK, that’s the truth, alright….
It’s only completely pathetic that I believed him every single time something else was uncovered. I hope you got STD tested!!! It’s amazing how much I was still willing to believe that he was telling the truth when he denied affairs and said that his activities at the massage parlors were restricted to strictly buying illegal weed and legitimate massages. Yeah, okay, so that comes out to $700 a week, right? Oy! Thank God for Chump Lady and my final realization that I needed to go NC.
Stayed way too long at the party..26 long years! Lawyer provided comfort with “You were just a nice Irish Catholic girl taking care of a messed up POS all these year”…Argh!
1) XH Denied using steroids throughout the years despite the physical evidence, particularly balls turning to pea-size and raging while playing xBox for hours
2) Recently discovered XH tried to get son on steroids so he could ‘succeed’ in football; would’ve divorced him in a second if I had known pre affair DD!
3) Quit his job to go back to school full-time the same year our child headed off to college…took college savings for himself promising to ‘repay’ with his salary once employed
4) First job after school, found MOW, his ‘soulmate’. Together, they partnered by asking for mutual divorces – her X and I end up having the same lawyer, what are the odds?
Can’t thank her enough for freeing me 🙂
I can’t compete with most of these, but I will mention that my ex told me and the kids that he’s in an “exclusive relationship” with… a woman who is still living with her husband.
Must be that special kind of asterisked exclusive where spouses don’t count.
He’s also taken my kids out with her and her kids. Which apparently is ok because they’re exclusive*.
We truly are mighty chumps, recognizing this crap and kicking it out….I know there’s more, but these few made me smile recalling them…
1. took herbal ‘viagra’ and tried to convince me it was a trial for something at work (he sells digital advertising)
2. Sent many (many) texts demanding back a torch I had ‘stolen’ ( we had over 4 torches)
3. had me spray tan him prior to business trips – and berated me for getting it wrong (once I got wise I would spray patterns on his back)
Got out and got a big, scary lawyer. Happiest of times to you all xxx
LOL would love to hear more about the patterns. You go, MsChump. 🙂
When I packed up X’s things after I’d thrown him out, I found a bottle of Horny Goat Weed supplement in his vitamin stash.
LMAO. I have no idea what that is but I am imagining him humping a goat while playing the bongo drums.
Tempest that’s what he was taking!!!!! I hope it was created by a chump and actually depressed his performance….that would be sweet:)
MsChump, oh man did that comment about spraying patterns on his back crack me up! I would absolutely love to see the expression on his face when an OW told him about it. Freaking hilarious! And brilliant.
Jesus Christ this is brilliant.
So many freaks ! Wow. I’ve probably told this one before, but it’s too diabolical to leave out.
He received a letter and photo, mailed to our home, from a very young woman who he said was his “interpreter” on a business trip to Asia.
He read the overly affectionate letter to me and our 5 year-old daughters at the breakfast table, then put her picture up on our refrigerator.
A few months later I found love letters from her from the time of the business trip, that he carried around with him in a backpack. They were signed with “XOXO, Kiki.”
Her picture on your fridge….evil, gag. My Hs Asian ow sent him gifts that he would/cold use right in front of people…a wallet, a tie, tea, shampoo…all to remind him of her. The tie and wallet were slashed, the shampoo was thrown across the house and the tea (as mentioned above was placed in the toilet where I pooped on it).
The one time I spoke to her after Dday, I told her off and later H said that she told him that her poor widdle self didnt understand all the big words I used. She graduated from the University of Washington (Seattle) where Im relatively sure they use big words.
1. Within a month of D-Day my exMIL invited OW to her out of state wedding with my ex and daughter, and included her in all the family pictures. (They had rented cottages on a lake so the whole family could have a week together.)
2. During the divorce Ex sent all three of our cats to a kill shelter without telling me or giving me a chance to take them since OW was allergic. I only found out when my 3 year old daughter told me that the cats turned into goldfish. (I guess to soften the blow for our daughter he got three goldfish in place of the cats.)
He deserves to die for what he did to those kitties. I could never get past that, ever. My cousin’s ex boyfriend did that to her kitties, too, and it just confirmed my impression that he was a sleazy douchebag. People suck.
It never ceases to amaze me how similar these freaks are.
My ex hated my dog and cat. He convinced me to get rid of my dog, I rehomed him to my parents so I could visit. And he complained daily about my cat that I refused to rehome. He complained that kitty was biting him. I didn’t believe this because I had kitty for over a decade and she was a sweety.
Well, turns out he would kick her or shove her off the furniture when I wasn’t looking. In retaliation she would bite him when he slept on the couch. I caught her doing this once as I came down the stairs, she was just about to bite his hand.
God she was a good cat.
My cat is sweet but she bites me very gently when I try to use the keyboard or mouse when she’s on my lap. I’m supposed to be petting her, not checking my email.
He totally deserved it for kicking the cat. Good kitty.
That is absolutely heinous. I hope they were adopted out. There is a special hell for people who mistreat animals.
I can’t even…. what a sick fuck….
Everyone’s disposable…
Don’t get in the way of a sick-ass Narc, you’ll get put down.
Kim, so sorry for the loss of your pets, maybe they did get adopted. I HATE your X with a white-hot passion, that heartless jerk.
@FreeWoman:
Yep, when my ex- moved out, he left his beloved cat with me, promising that he couldn’t have it in his new house due to his no pet policy, and that he had fleas, etc. About two months after he moved out, after i had asked several times to take his cat to his house, I put dear Kitty outside. TEO came here to return our daughter and looked around asking where was Kitty? I told him I put him outside…
He was LIVID that I would “just throw it out like an abandoned child!!!” To which I shot back, “On, but its OK for you to abandon him, and your wife and daughter, right!?!?!”
He stormed out, came back a couple hours to get the damn thing. I never really liked it anyway, but at least I didn’t have it killed or kill it myself…Jesus, some people have NO morals.
// , I suppose the chumps are metaphorically “sent to the kill shelter” fairly often.
If anyone ever was sick enough to set up a business to dispose of “undesired spouses”, I do wonder…
“sent to the kill shelter” is a brilliant way to put it. Many of us were treated like discarded dogs.
1). My ex left to be with the affair partner and left me with the kids. The oldest was a suicidal girl and she ran away, I called the cops and had them remove the cell phone from her, my ex told my step daughter if I didn’t return the phone, she would call the police and tell them I tried to sexually assault her.
2). My ex and her boyfriend assaulted me when I was there to pick up my son; they called the police and I was arrested. $5,000 in attorney fees, the neighbors as witnesses; the DA dropped the charges.
3). She married the OM and he has become me. As I like to say; she did a complete 360. Same old jerk. : )
So glad you had a witness, my ex set me up and got me arrested for DV, it was dismissed but only after a probation period that ex used to hurt me some more.
MIL called to get me to drop my protective order after he brought a gun in and did the suicide/murder routine, according to her:
Not shaving one’s legs when one’s husband refuses to have sex with you for years, this is a reason to cheat. She went on and on about the leg shaving, srsly…
She told me insisting on a divorce because he cheated was wrong, he still loves me and that’s why he lost it. If you had only given him another chance none of this would have happened.
She went on to insist he would never hurt me, apparently he convinced her the gun was not loaded. Trust me, it was. When I said that I believed he’d gotten all the bullets out before he chased me to the car with the gun, she responded: “See! He wasn’t going to shoot you!”
This was the last conversation I ever had with the MIL.
PS: this is the same woman who helped me get ex into a rehab 6 months earlier. The same woman who helped me get ex committed to a psych ward only a month earlier when he’d gone insane with the gun. It took ex less than 30 days to convince his Mother that I was abusive, had neglected him, it was my fault he cheated, and of course that I lied about the gun. It never ceases to amaze me how easily ex manipulates people.
And this is why I have not spoken to my MIL post D-day….at all….and hopefully never will.
X accused me of taking screws off his drumset he left at my daughters house and used it as his excuse for not picking up his granddaughter. He called the police and said it was his house.
1) Tried to get me to name our daughter “OW 1’s Name, Jr.” With the actual Jr.
2) Left the country to get out of child support payments.
3) Brought OW 2 with him to New Country, because she’s his cousin, and “It’s OK to do that here.” Or so he says.
I’m sorry you have no support. But I’m happy you’re done with crazy.
1. I supported, financially and emotionally, his transition from finance to psychotherapy, because his first wife didn’t and I really thought he deserved a good partner.
2. I discovered that, although he specializes in treating sexual problems and addiction, that he has a sex addiction himself!
3. He called it “nothing,” “a tension release,” “like stealing candy from a candy jar,” and “just a bad habit left over from my first marriage.”
I have to think about that one!
1) Ex’s first and only comment to me, his wife, about his new racquetball doubles partner (and mistress) was that she…”couldn’t play racquetball well.”
2) Two years after moving out of our dream home to pursue his “new life” (and after dumping our mortgage), ex finally returned to pick up a few of “his” belongings. He took two framed mirrors from the kids’ bathroom (the big framed ones I chose that are installed over the sinks), two inside light fixtures, and all the light fixtures that graced the doors outside. (Another entitled peace officer. 😀 )
3) If you go to their “fitness” newsletter they have a write up on their very own. true. love. story. How they met, how they were both “unhappily married for 19 years”, how they stayed “for their children” and when they consummated their love they both discovered they owned “green trucks.” I mean what ARE the odds!?!? Match made in heaven.
Drew I got the same story how unhappy he was for many many years. He is trying to sell that to our teenage girls. They don’t buy it. He also told them I had a boyfriend and that is so not true.
telling the girls that I filled for divorce… Yes I did divorce his ass because he had an affair with a married women for 2 years.
Yeesh, the narcissism and projection are strong in these.
Drew; I have heard that green trucks are the basis for any substantial & meaningful relationship. WTF??
Of course you can’t play racquetball well if you keep trying to swallow the balls.
It’s getting hard not to burst out laughing at work!!!!
Thanks ALL. The sheer number of lies the disordered spin boggles the mind. I really had to step back and look at my ex’s actions during our years together, especially those last few…. He was living several lives, was disengaged (and that grew more so with every passing year), and compartmentalized his work, family, and extracurricular activities. One life with me, one with the kids, and one doing who knows what. On a more hopeful note, I am wishing us all Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year surrounded by those who do love us, and sending out best wishes for a better year ahead. I will be purchasing Tracy’s newest book and gifting it to…me, lol ?.
Same here, already bought my copy to. Merry Christmas to me!!!!
1) ‘I have the bathhouse Craigslist forum bookmarked because it’s funny to look at but really hard to find’.
(Then I spackled.)
2) I’m crossing the line if I text a coworker, but Skype pay per minute sites with sex workers is apparently totally ok.
3) his sexual trolling has stopped in the past week – phone, web, etc and has been replaced by incessant Star Wars site searching. So creepy.
Ha ha, I also have one of the Craigslist forums bookmarked. Found it 2 or 3 years back, I was floored, had NO idea they even had those?? Bunch of porn addicts sharing boob and crotch shots, making stupid comments and cheering each other on. Just WOW.
1. Right before the wedding, the day before my birthday, she had me take two photos of her in a black silk nightie. They were emailed to her ex within five minutes of being taken.
2. No sex until the second-last day of the honeymoon. (Serendipitous typo: none-ymoon. Related concept: money-moon. )
3. No sex /ever/ except on the 3 days she’s ovulating in the month during the 3-4 months were were trying to conceive our daughter, 2 years plus into our marriage. [Significant amounts of sex with the new boyfriend, /while she’s pregnant/, though.]
And through all of this, she has the stone cold /balls/ to act offended when I eventually turn to taking care of myself with visual aids, so to speak. I’d have dropped the porn in a second if she’d ever shown the slightest interest. Involving another live human being besides her never crossed my mind for a millisecond.
By the time she’s forming literally a dozen short-lived online relationships on chat, she’s telling them that she was never really attracted to me at all – that the real love of her live (whom I knew as her “fitness coach” – they stayed friends and talked regularly (including one cybersex session) until the end of her life. Yeah, she lied to him about her other infidelities too. ) dumped her for religious differences, she panicked, started to worry that it was getting too late for her to have a baby, and married me for the sperm and the wallet.
A few months before she passed away [this is a year and a half plus after the evidence of infidelity ends, and the prescription pill abuse has gotten quite bad], she told me she still didn’t like me using visual aids, but that she understood it and wasn’t angry about it. I’ll take that as some form of repentance, probably the most her broken mind was capable of.
She was my first real girlfriend. I’m 39 years old I I don’t actually know what it’s like to have a significant other who’s actually attracted to me.
Get some therapy. Get out there and find out. It will blow your mind to have a healthy relationship. You (and every chump) deserve it.
This breaks my heart.
You deserved better. This was chilling —
“Involving another live human being besides her never crossed my mind for a millisecond.”
All the years things were .. weird and distant but we still had sex and oftentimes things felt pretty good, involving another live human being besides him never crossed my mind. To find out he was doing so from the very beginning….
I hope you find someone who is open, honest, authentic. And who has no issues sharing her email/FB etc. I never thought he would abuse his privacy to keep secrets.
This wasn’t your fault HeatDeath. Being used is just so horrible.
HeatDeath:
Get some help reconciling your feelings, get into some social groups, you ARE worthy of love, respect, devotion. I am so sorry she fucked you up so much!!!!
Don’t give up on love!!!!
Sending you prayers and Jedi hugs!!!!!
// , I just get this mental picture of a woman looking at a man with the head replaced by a leather wallet with a stamp of a sperm on it.
These creatures are so obvious that I know several men that believe all women are like this, deep down.
1. My ex insisted that his relationship with married OW coworker had nothing to do with our marriage falling apart.
2. He moved into her parents’ basement after we separated.
3. I found a document he wrote on an old laptop saying he was “leaving an empty space in the closet to envision her clothes hanging there some day,” and “adding an empty place setting at his table at night so he could envision her eating there some day.”
That’s when I realized he was crazy.
1) Ex left a bra in the house when he moved out and it wasn’t mine
2) Some of my marital aids disappeared, can only guess where they went
3) He left mementos of his many affairs (I did not realize how many there were until this happened) in the house and then when I went to return these items he was so happy to have when he brought them home from his “work trips”- along with two ice cube trays he had owned for 30 years – he got mad at me and I later found them in the trash can outside my house, except the ice cube trays, those he took to his new place.
When I read ‘marital aids’ I immediately pictured a life sized cutout of Chris Pine next to the bed….
I picture the UPS man with whom I can’t make eye contact. And my old sweet dog who I swear shakes her head at me.
The marital aids are probably being used by his whore OW secondhand – because she’s too stingy and whorish to afford her own.
Yep, I said it.
That’s so vile and stomach churning that I hope it’s true. I had to buy myself an “aid” when my wh checked out. Hence Amazon and why I can’t look the delivery man in the eye.
Buying an “aid” was one of my first steps in the “be very very good to yourself” program [that I learned from here] that I embarked upon after my wife passed. It’s perfectly normal and there’s no reason to feel any shame about it. The companies package them very discreetly, so the only way the deliveryperson would know what it was was if they’d once ordered one themselves.
Ex- enjoyed me using aids in the bedroom, but since he left, I haven’t much— just reminds me that I’m alone, I’d rather have human-to-human contact vs. Doing myself these days.
When we were married in between sexual encounters with him I would, but now, I’m like, “nah”.
I can understand the embarrassment, but there is no shame in buying a toy. I love vibrators. I second the line in There’s Something About Mary. “Oh well, Who needs a man? I’ve got a vibrator.” Sure, there may be some good men and interaction with a kind, honest man is better than a toy. But, a toy is infinitely better than interaction with a disordered fuckwit.
My Wand (Wanda) has been the greatest success sex story of my life for 35 yrs. How pathetic is that. bwahaha Don’t you ever ever try to take her from me, border-crossing guards!
Actually, I never named her Wanda. He is Mr. Wand!
My ex hasn’t done anything funny over the past year, in fact, he’s gotten scarier and become more of a loser. I’m not officially in the game, so I will give you three incidents ex pulled on our SON in the years since Dday.
When son was 14, ex took him to spend Easter Sunday with one of ex’s buddies who had spent 8 years in prison for molesting boys the same as as our son.
When son was 15, ex impulsively decided they would drive to Phoenix AZ for Christmas day. This is well over a five-hour drive from where we live. They left the apartment, but ten minutes later son ran back inside saying that ex had brought him back to get the $100 son got for Hanukkah from my mom. Ex used son’s gift money to pay for gas.
When son was 17, ex called the local police and asked them if they had son at the station and were questioning him in regards to some porn ring going on in the area (NEEDLESS TO SAY MY SON HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT). Ex then called several of son’s friends and family asking if son “was in trouble.” The reason for this frenzy? It was early in the morning, so son had not heard his cell phone ring when ex called him, and I had ex blocked on my phone at the time. Ex concluded the only reason we would not be answering his calls was that we BOTH were at the sheriff’s stations being questioned, and they had confiscated our phones.
There are many more, but these three came to mind first.
He’s a sick bastard.
He used to make for entertaining (if awful) copy — but truly he’s SICK. I hope your son has lots of therapy and iron clad boundaries.
And I hope your ex has kept his half eaten boxes of cereal to himself this year too.
GIO, you remember you aren’t supposed to play? Your ex is the craziest, sickest one of the lot!!! Sounds truly awful, hope your son can stay away from him as much as possible.
GIO, could the last one be the fact he’s projecting that on your son? That he instead is involved with a porn ring?
Watch your back with your son, my friend. Shit could get nasty real quick if thats the case.
Glad, what is his mother like?
Where does thinking like that come from? – if he is doing it, or if it is one of his fantasies.
Sick bastard.
Just to lighten things up, this was one of winning submissions in Christmas past: actual transcript…you can’t make this shit up 🙂
Protective Order hearing, husband on the stand; my attorney submits a wicked foot long scythe knife to the judge, saying; “This was found in his bedroom under the pillow.”
Attorney asks Saddam: “And you had a weapon under your pillow; isn’t that right?”
Husband answers: “It’s religious — I’m a Wiccan.” Attorney asks: “What is a Wiccan?”
Husband answers: “I’m a pagan, a witch.” (The look on the judges face? PRICELESS)
PS: Here’s a pic (no Wiccan would have it): http://g.io.ua/img_aa/large/0026/23/00262327.jpg
The pagan scythes! How could we ever forget?
No. No real Wiccan would have it… Except to maybe goof people.That’s the knife weird cheesy gift shoppes in the mall sell to incompetent boy-men, who imaginary/play fight and pretend they know martial arts in their basements, or to 14 year old girls who wear eyeliner and the capes they buy at Halloween and use all year because they want to be Wiccan because of the movie The Craft.
As an actual honest to Goddess Wiccan I can say no Wiccan would use that as an Athame – what a douche! And a wanna be.
@gepster: yeah, The Evil One claims that he was once a warlock, and that he had a coven of girls that were in his “group” back in high school…I have no way of knowing if he ever continued to practice wiccan/pagan, but I wouldn’t be surprised. …email me @ mollyflynn89@gmail.com please. I need to ask you something.
That cheesy knife is very well made, steel blades, extremely sharp and heavy, if anyone play fought with it someone would loose a body part. Ex bought it from a specialty shop, thankfully not much of a market for this type of thing. I was surprised to find a pic online actually, was on pinterest – someone had an entire pin of nothing but scythes, yikes!
And Gepster, ex got the book “Wicca for Dummies”, yeah he was just interested in picking up women, the possible nude rituals…that sort of thing. He was an asshole.
WIcca for Dummies – wow. Well at least he bought the book intended for him.
Yes, gepster!
Bet he paid a lot of money for that heavy thing, too. Wannabe. May he forever wake up with a painful head from sleeping on that thing all night long.
He commissioned hand-knit baby booties for our newborn son from his crafty booty call. Fox-themed booties, naturally. OW couldn’t understand why I burned them. Being rather stronger in knitting than in deduction, she assumed it was a sizing issue rather than a married penis issue. So she knit MORE. And I heated my home for an entire winter with OW booty call baby booties.
OMFG, she sounds like a real winner. That is so creepy. Asshat’s crazy ex-gf sent us knives for a wedding present and went apeshit when I returned them. She left a screaming voicemail about discovering a credit on her bank statement.
That OW obviously has the social insight of an amoeba.
The sibling-fuckers are the worst, IMHO. They not only upend your immediate family, but the extended family, too.
I agree, Tempest. I had a ‘favorite mentor’ at 12 yrs old while growing up. My new BIL. He molested me until I turned 16 and then ran far away from home. I just told my sister about it, here I am, 40 yrs later. It was nice to get off my mind. I’m sure they will not be my friends any longer, no loss on the BIL. But sister, who looks this child molestation over as a loving husband, is totally inexcusable.
Like – no sorry after that? The guy changed the course of my life – asshole.
Sorry! I just highjacked the thread!
Anyone who fails to protect a child deserves a painful death. I’m sorry, SheChump; to be abused and then invalidated is horrible.
When he was having his affair, STBX kept it very well hidden so that I had no proof but thought I was going crazy. His meanness was my fault because I was a bad wife.
In the car he used to play ‘Every day I love you less and less’ by Kaiser Chiefs to me.
// , I would start to go mad, I think.
Marrying someone who pulled that kind of shit would make me question more of my life choices than marriage.
Well they’re both screwed up so worth mentioning! I’m so sorry she-chump! Sister is the biggest loser of all! She eats poop dipped gingerbread men on christmas! And vaginal cherries on christmas eve!
The mow in my sit here was a brother fucker – she cheated on her first h with his brother. She cheated on the brother/uncle daddy/latest husband with my dumbass h. Hello, thanksgiving? Easter? Fucking wedding guests? Do you just photocopy the original list? Is the first h now the best man? All kinds of fucked up. But she’s a swallower, so there ya go.
I really want to play but mine are so absurd that if STBX happens to be stalking me online, he might recognize me. I hope this will become an annual tradition so I can try again next year after (here’s hoping!) the divorce is final.
In the meantime, advice to newbie Chumps based on my story and many others here: don’t reveal your evidence or how you got it because then they will only go further underground. And never, ever let a disordered spouse take or maintain control of your finances! Make copies of all account statements and get access to all passwords on the Q-T once you even begin to suspect cheating.
Wow! It’s hard to choose which three I should submit. There were so many outrageous and downright surreal moments.
1. We both shared photography as a hobby (just different subject matter, obviously). Shortly after we married he wanted to take some nice boudoir photos of me. One of which he used as bait on Craigslist personals to arrange a foursome – thinking he could surprise me and then persuade (bully) me to participate once the whole thing was set up. Oh hell no! Yep, nothing says “love you” like pimping out your wife on Craigslist.
2. Found a a copy of a photo taken for his OW that had the following items artfully laid out on the top of OUR dresser: furry pink handcuffs, nipple clamps, vibrator, and a lovely butt plug.
3. Also discovered a copy of a letter he had written for his OW. And I quote: “I deserve to be punished because I said I would do exactly and everything I am told to do. Though I forgot, it is my fault I forgot and should be punished. I should have to wear the thong while you are using the whip to punish my bare ass.”
Note: he kept copies of almost everything because they were his “souvenirs” – which is why I was able to discover so much stuff.
I found chat transcripts he saved. And photos, he asked the young things for photos A LOT. Which he lied to me about every time I asked.
I found his other cheater email .. with a woman’s name. Oddly it bothered me less because he didn’t present as a married man who talked about his sex life with the wife he was cheating on. But weird.
I found his posted erotica, though 2 ‘stories’ were chat transcripts where he had the woman MB or otherwise be sexual for him. While we had a 6 month old baby.
You, too, Boudica?! My picture was posted on Adult Friend Finder without my knowledge or permission.
Yes Tempest, that they’re trolling is despicable. Using us as bait? Absolutely revolting. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Hmm…I wonder if that is lawsuit-worthy?
A judge in Winnipeg was used by her husband that way and when it was discovered, the discussion was all about her suitability as a judge and not what he did. The voices condemning what he did were there but they were sidelined.
I can’t possibly compete with half of what I read today, but here’s some silly ones:
1) Immediately after D-day, my now X emailed my daughter (his step-daughter) and told her, “I didn’t leave you honey, I left your mom. Talk to you soon!
2) When I told him how gross it was for him to go to the birthday party of the OW’s then-clueless husband, he yells, “IT WASN’T A BIRTHDAY PARTY! IT WAS A CHILI PARTY!”
3) When I tracked down OW’s husband and told him what was up, my X said to me, “Now you’ve gone too far. That is so disrespectful!”
Yay DIVORCE! 🙂
A chili party, LOL.
Rumble, your #3 reminds me of my ex. After he found out that I had told his fuckbuddy OW’s (as opposed to the “soulmate” OW) husband about their cheating, ex told me that was “very malicious” of me. I guess he didn’t consider his fucking her to be a problem, though.
Yeah, you all are SO MEAN!!!
Yep. I’M the asshole. lol
When X-hole found out I called OWhores husband he texted me that “it just shows what a miserable person you are, that you would try to ruin someone else’s life because you’re unhappy.” Ummm sure….that’s why I did it, just to put a damper on the mans day. Idiot. I said “I’M the miserable person ruining their lives by telling him his wife is cheating and not you two ruining everything by repeatedly meeting up, fucking each other and both cheating on your family’s”. That’s projection and blame-shifting at its finest.
Ahhhhh the birthdays. STBX and I turned 40 five weeks apart. For his, all the women in our social circle tp’d and decorated the yard, brought cake and balloons for “Big Jim” and took selfies with him. Five weeks later for me…nothing, and he didn’t see a problem. Fast forward a couple years, and he helps a friend throw a surprise party for HIS wife on her 40th. Seriously, we sat in a driveway babysitting meat on a smoker for HOURS while they were at church. He didn’t understand my frustration with that and I continued to spackle. But I KNEW. And 2 months later, he told me he was leaving me for her.
Argh! You and I both married “Mr. Sparkly.” When my first kid was in kindergarten the female teacher (my age) stated that if I were ever to leave my husband SHE’D want HIM. Crazy how many women threw themselves at him over the years. I on the other hand was friendly but had boundaries, loved my husband at the time, and could never think of being with someone else especially because I took my vows seriously. When she said that though I do remember thinking, WTF?!?!
This is right along the lines of what I have told my ex- “don’t tell lies about me, and inwont tell the truth about you!!!”
He and I were still married, but he had been living separately for about 6 weeks when infund out that he had started dating his now wife. Schmoopies MOM called a friend of mine to get some information about my wonderful husband (at the time) and my friend was more than happy to oblige her and told her just how much of an asshole he really is…needless say, Scmoopie called him and I guess blasted him out so he came to my house screaming at me, “why won’t you let me be happy!?!? You fucking vindictive bitch— you just love starting drama!!!!!”
He also accused me of setting him upnwith her, that somehow I had gotten her to book upnwith him, LOL
Of course, he went back to scmoopie and told her whatever he did and she bought it, and now 5/months later they’re married!!!
Mazel Tov!!!! She deserves every bit of misery he inflicts on her, idiots.
D-day #1 (December): Discover a few near-naked selfies on her phone where she’s tied herself up in festive holiday ribbon. She explains the pics aren’t for anyone specific but about “getting positive affirmation” from her facebook “sexy pics” club.
D-day #2 (March): She bricks her phone and needs me to reset it through iTunes. A 10-minute voice memo recording pops-up of her masturbating for her [piece-of-shit asshole] boyfriend titled “cumming for you sir.” Oopsie. There IS someone else, but it was very brief and they never did anything outrageous.
D-day #3 (April): I’m now uber-cyber detective and crack open her iPhone backup files to discover probably 800 selfies she and her [piece-of-shit asshole] boyfriend exchanged over six months – hidden inside an app called “Photo Vault.” I can’t decide if I enjoy the one she snapped of herself sporting nipple clamps or the one her [piece-of-shit asshole] boyfriend snapped of himself inserting the peaches-and-cream dildo (who says guys can’t multi-task?)
D-day #4 (May): Part of her reconciliation homework is to write a confession letter to her [piece-of-shit asshole] boyfriend’s wife. Turns out their facebook fuckbuddy club is dedicated to BDSM submissive/dominance. For someone so determined to get whatever she wants, you would think she could have mentioned this “need” sometime during our twenty-year marriage.
Good gosh, BetrayedNoMore. What a crazy and sick piece of work your wife was!
I don’t have anything as award-winning as so many other chumps but now I am shaking with laughter so I’ll play, too….
1) When he was in the thick of the EA/PA, he threw a fit and abandoned me and my six year old in another country to return home to celebrate my birthday with OW and leaving me to drive 2,500 miles to get back. (On our way home, he demanded I stop to select and purchase a thank you present for OW.)
2) Criticized his father for cheating multiple times and scraping lower and lower in the barrel each time, all while having an EA (and probably PAs) with any subordinate he could charm with his nice guy/sad sausage act.
3) He insisted, “You should meet OW (this was pre D-Day) because you’d really like her and you guys would have so much fun together. You guys are so alike! (could not be further from the truth),” until he realized he was gonna pay big time, dumped her and she tried to ask for me a divorce while impersonating him.
Yo, you crazy wuv birds, adultery’s a felony here. He & OW broke professional, state and federal laws. My 2016 is going to be spectacular and I suspect theirs will not be so awesome 😀
February can’t come soon enough, CE. I will celebrate your freedom.
Chumpyelf, my H did the same thing before D day, he said to me “you should meet Whore(his co worker who he had an EA with), you will like her, you two can be friends and have coffee together sometimes, she is so nice, just like you”.
Can’t wait to celebrate with you, chumpyelf!!!!
Also here, the evil one was so indignant and disgusted with his dad for cheating on his mom, but he’s just fine doing it to me!!!!
1. STBX made lovely dinner with me NY Eve 2014.
2. After last bite was eaten he proceeded to take me into our room, close the door and tell me he wanted a divorce( 17 years). Then got up and made a plate of cookies and a glass of milk and watched tv on the couch while I hysterically cried in our room.
3. 10 min before the ball dropped he came in and sat next to me because he thought nobody should be alone at the New Year and at midnight asked me if I wanted a hug. Said it was okay to dump me on NYE because it’s not a “real holiday”.
Poptart, my husband took me into our room the night before our second wedding anniversary because he had to tell me that he had fallen in love with a co-worker. I was still grieving my miscarriage and also grieving my 13 year old nephew’s sudden death the week before and we’d not even had the funeral service. As I sobbed and vomited for hours, he slept like a baby on the couch and then got irritated when I pulled myself from the floor to go wake him up to ask questions.
ChumpBear
So sorry ChumpBear. How painful that had to be for you all at once. I was mourning the loss of my mother and helping my son through a difficult time when I got the announcement. Hope your doing well.
donna and Chumpbear…truly these freaks are from hell…who does such awful things!!!! I was grieving the death of my mother and then the death of my little brother after her…
…felt like more death to me when satan announced he wanted a divorce because I was STILL crying…only demons delight in causing more grief…
satan walked in from work that night as I was making dinner…crying silently…he IT said, ‘Don’t tell me you are still crying over your fucking mother!’ …raging…
…never knew who was comin home…satan or the sham… I am so glad to be free of IT!
Keep
Sorry for your losses. How devestating. It’s good they remain annonomous as I want to spit on him. X was a pathological covert narc and my mother thought the world of him. I can’t imagine how they think.
In the end they will face consequences. I’m pissed off that I had to grieve losing a sociopath. I will never cry for him ever again.
He hid his secret iPhone in the sanctuary of the church where he still is the senior pastor. It was in one of the stained glass window ledges, behind a brass plaque.
Wow…..just wow….
I am sooo sorry!
I would guess he would still use hiding spots like that. I probably would have set up some sort of ‘youth group scavenger hunt’ that ‘happened’ to lead there…. And out his hijinx to these sheep.
1. We got new phones the day our daughter was born. (Not on purpose. She was early.)
2. Fast forward 9 months – daughter discovers Daddy’s Tinder account while chewing on his old phone. (Luckily she’s still illiterate. But I’m not.)
3. The final “match” on that phone, before it became a chew toy, was made while I was in labor, from the hospital room where we were. Together. In labor with our first… and only… child.
What a POS. Anyone who hooks up (or tries to) while their wife is pregnant or delivering should really be subject to medieval torture. The rack, thumb-screws, ….
Wives who hook up while pregnant have a special kind of damage too. I hope to God she was using protection. Thank God my daughter came out healthy. OM was a black guy (unlike my wife or I), and they met after she was pregnant, so I’m not too worried about paternity. She’s the spitting image of my mother when she was an infant and everyone in both mine and my wife’s family says she looks just like me.
totally agree, HeatDeath. Pregnant cheaters deserve medieval torture (after the baby is born, of course, so that the stress hormones of the mother don’t affect the innocent child’s brain).
I’m glad paternity is no issue.
Temoest
I like the Tarzan movie torture best. One man two trees.
All cheaters suck but I find cheating on pregnant wives especially attrocious. I went on a few dates with a guy and texted a bunch with him as well and I found out later that he was married and had a pregnant wife. Thankfully we never went beyond dates and a single kiss at the end of it but we texted discussing sex things and I was sooooo pissed. I told him if I ever saw him on any site again I would knock on the door to his house myself and tell his wife.
// , It seems like there need not have been a condition.
Number 3 is a contender, hooking up on Tinder while you are in labor and he’s there…wow
1) The selfie that Fat Bastard was sending to his online whores was taken while he was on the toilet.
2) He posted a long rambling video of himself on Facebook about having cancer and tagged all of my family and friends in it 5 minutes after he sent pictures of himself masturbating to at least 3 women.
3) He claims to have had an affair with his fathers 3rd wife and said that he got off on screwing his fathers wife because he hates his dad.
ick
Good thing he didn’t get the Facebook video mixed up with the masturbation pictures. That would be one for the ages!!!
And I still don’t understand the selfies ON THE TOILET. Is it just me or is THE TOILET the least sexy part of the house. Sitting on the toilet forever is just so…Grandpa, and not sexy AT ALL. Yuck!
Austin Powers voice: “Hey Baby, here is a sexy, sexy picture of me sitting…on the toilet. Do I make you horrrrny?”
That last few months he pretty much lived in the bathroom – he’d spend most of the day in there on the toilet, on his phone, downloading porn and sexting, smoking like a freight train. When I kicked him out I had to scrub the walls down 3 times to get all the nicotine off so I could paint. The first thing I did was replace the damn toilet seat.
Oh, the mind pictures! Only a true skank could possibly find this sexy. “He wants me so much that he is using his precious poo time to sext me!!!! Tee Hee!”
If I EVER date again, and if my boyfriend EVER texts me from the toilet, he will be FLUSHED!
While I was in stealth mode – aka snooping in his pockets – I found his Christmas list — I was last on the list – even after the dogs !!!
Wow. That might be the worst thing I have heard. You are a contender for this freaky prize!
I mean Heather.
1) When I was pregnant with our first child, a woman would call our house phone in the middle of the night and ask to speak to my then husband, by name… Refused to ID herself to me (phone was on my side of the bed so I answered). Asshat explained her away as a psycho girl from high school who had a thing for him. Calls continued randomly for months, even after I gave birth, until I finally had our number changed and unlisted. About a week later someone scattered a box of sex toys across our front lawn….
2) During our divorce, ex brought his brother over to the house to help load up his stuff which I had packed and put out in the garage. A few heavy items were in the house and my ex-brother-in-law started commenting to my ex that HE would like to have some other things — my ex then turned to me acting like he actually wanted them for himself. (I was standing right there and heard their conversation!!) They were just being hateful and snotty. I promptly told them both to GTFO.
3) My ex stole a dog I had gotten as a puppy AFTER our divorce. The dog travelled between our houses with our son because I started working 10 hour days and didn’t want it be alone all day. One day my son came home without the dog…. Ex wouldn’t let him bring it back to my house and my son begged me not to fight over it because his dad loved that dog so much…
You know I cannot hear the dildo-scaping story enough times ;O
What happened to the dog? 🙁
Ex kept her… I was working long hours (which happened a few months after I had gotten the dog) and I just didn’t have any more fight left in me to go head-to-head with Dumbass again. I knew she (the dog) was being taken care of. It wasn’t fair to her to be stuck in the house all day alone… She was still under a year old then. It still burns me up though — ex once again put our son in the middle of things as usual….
“While away on a business trip just days before D-day, he told me a prostitute approached him and she was really aggressive and propositioned him and wouldn’t take no for an answer, she followed him into the elevator, down the hallway to his room and pushed her way in. She offered a blow job, used a condom, and no matter what she tried, he couldn’t get hard and it was the worst 5 minutes of his life. He said her waist felt like porridge too. He only paid her $40.00 because he is a nice guy and felt sorry for her. It was all her fault though and it’s just not who he is.”
My goodness he was RAPED! God I hope he pressed charges!
That reminds me of my ex’s story that when the two married OW aggressively pursued him for sex, he told them he would only do it if they BOTH had sex with him at the same time. He claimed he told them this to “discourage them and get them to stop pestering him.” Lo and behold, they agreed and I’m sure it was a very merry threesome. Later that day, he met me at the coffee shop and told me he didn’t want to be married to me any longer.
Apparently, just saying NO doesn’t occur to these freaks.
After 2 years of faux reconciliation, and STBX refusing to DO something about his decision not to be married, I finally moved 250 miles away. To soothe his loneliness, he got a St. Bernard puppy.
1. He spent $1500 on a dog he had no time to train (new carpet and furniture…goodbye)
2. The dog repeatedly jumped on people in the street, and broke the hip of the 82 year old neighbor. I heard last week he never even checked on her during recovery.
3. After the vet told him the dog had anxiety issues from neglect, he called and cried on my shoulder about his failure to take care of the dog! Geezus, maybe if I had gone to the vet for my anxiety, she could have said the same about me!
1) Found my cheater skyping with a woman 30 years younger than him, from another country, who he met on a dating site, who he said was helping him plan his secret trip to her country, which he had never before expressed an interest in, to scope out job opportunities (in a place where he does not speak the language).
2) Bought this woman a $200 phone (bought me a $40 phone), has sent her hundreds of dollars, is paying for her to take “English lessons” and will admit nothing.
3) Claims she is a nice girl he’s only trying to “help” and that it’s all innocent – he apparently thinks I’m so stupid I’ll believe whatever he says.
File for divorce immediately if you haven’t yet!
“A letter stamp on a post card.” Well, it’s no wonder he was justified in being a prick :/
Hmmm, my iPad is possessed. The above stamp comment was for ChumptyDumpty waaaaaaaay up the page.
Served me right, eh? Throwing money around like that!
After Dday in an exemplary moment of his fuckedupedness, he was insisting I pay for his polygraph (a condition of my considering reconciliation) – out of small household account. Asked if he didn’t feel that as the one whose actions necessitated the test, that he should pay, he ‘didn’t want to’.
So I said ‘you’ll buy sex’ but ask me to use our grocery money to pay for the fall out?
He said “I bought self esteem! I’m sure you’ve bought things you didn’t need before too!”.
You can’t make this shit up. Even his therapist dropped his jaw upon hearing this.
Oh & hey, for the record, this fucktard was Mr. Decent, Nerdy Nice guy of the Universe when we met. Nothing is really safe.
“Buying self esteem, eh? No wonder you act like a fucking toddler – NORMAL adults will sort out their self-esteem issues within themselves, instead of buying fuckbuddies to pretend to get through it!”
I was beginning to get suspicious that my EX was having an affair – though he had just started a new job and all the people he worked with were married (who knew his 3X married boss was his schmoopie) and I could not figure out who it could be.
1. He began taking business trips – which he never had before. One night when he was out of town our beloved golden retriever (who had been sick previously) began to cough up blood and I frantically tried to call him many times. I left panicked and tearful messages but he never answered. After about five calls, his phone suddenly turned off and when straight to voicemail. He was obviously too busy banging his schmoopie to care that I was driving our dog to put her down at 3AM (or that it might have been an emergency regarding his kids). I had to clean up all the blood so my kids wouldn’t see it, got home at 5AM, got the kids to school and went to work. EX called around six hours later. Must have been one wild night.
2. Once he realized I was really suspicious (and asked him point blank three times if he was having an A because he was working ridiculously long hours) he had his OW concoct a beautiful letter written to me and our children – My EX could not wait to give it to me. It stated what a wonderful worker EX was, what an asset to the company he was, thanking us profusely for allowing him to work such long hours and sacrificing our time with him. It was accompanied by a HUGE gift box filled with candy and treats and gift cards and movie passes. Yup, my EX handed a box of treats to my children from his Ho-worker to throw their mother off the trail of his infidelity.
3. He had me and my kids go back home for Christmas to visit his family and mine while he stayed home and “thought things through”. He actually went house hunting with his (still married) OW and they signed a lease for their secret love nest and had all his credit card accounts transferred there. He I was spending Christmas day with his psycho family why he was securing a home with the Ho-worker. He continued to tell me he was no longer seeing OW and that we were working on our marriage for a few more months.
My X impregnated his latest lady enabler during the time we were “working on our marriage”….work, work,work!
I want to enter this contest!
1. Husband took our oldest son, 14 at the time, to San Francisco for a father/son long weekend to a war gaming convention which was one of his hobbies. I was so pleased that he wanted to spend time with his son. Found out later that he parked son at one of the game halls and went to meet “the legend” an escort that everyone on his online rate-the-escort site said should be experienced. Needless to say, he also gave her a high rating!
2. During reconciliation he took me out to dinner for our 25th wedding anniversary. I said that I was surprised that, given the precarious state of our relationship, he hadn’t thought to buy me a gift. He stood up and went to his car and returned with two unwrapped boxes with earrings and a bracelet. They were not my style at all but I thanked him. Later found out the OW had given them back to him when he dumped her and moved back home.
3. After I filed for divorce, he thought I should still accompany him on a trip to Las Vegas. He went alone or so I thought. When he got home he tried to reel me back in. Just as he was telling me how much he missed me and how he had spent a lot of time “thinking” in Las Vegas, his text went off. I grabbed his phone. It was another woman sending him kibbles. The jig was up.
I could go on and on and on.
I was 8cm dilated and ten hours into labor with our second child when he said he was going to grab something to eat. He was gone for an hour and a half. When he got back I tore him a new one and he said “God Ninja, you’re so selfish, I needed to eat.”
Our best friends accompanied me & X to the delivery room for our first child. X suggested he & the man go to a bar for drinks, and the other man was the one who said that wasn’t a good idea.
If I ever get the time machine mentioned above, I am going to slap my younger self silly for marrying that jackass in the first place.
Agreed Tempest. The clues were there, it only took me another 15 years to work out he was a self involved psycho cheating douche bag *facepalm*
I knew mine was an a**hole, just didn’t realize the full extent of it. I plead “up against the biological clock” insanity.
It is small consolation. But I am trying to learn from you guys. Your message is saving people. And… Fuck the clock. I can buy a baby off eBay when I find the right guy.
CreativeRational: Should it come down to the wire, stable people can parent on their own. It’s not easy, it’s lonely, but IMO, better than not having children if you want them. I’d have been a better parent as a single mother than I was with a jackass stressing me out almost daily.
The new daddy so proud brought his whore to the hospital to see the baby and then later to our house to visit.
Mine went home overnight cause he “needed to sleep” when I was admitted two weeks late and my water broke. I spent the whole night alone in the hospital with amniotic fluid pouring out of me. Showed up next morning when they had already decided to induce and I was in agony because they couldn’t put in the epidural yet. Came and went for hours during labor cause he was hungry. Once the baby came he went with her for checkup and left me alone. Showed up in my room when the baby was brought to me and then left again until it was time to go home.
It’s pretty much set the stage for his parenting ever since.
Cheater ex #1 dumped me off at the hospital at 8AM after my water broke and didn’t show back up until the next afternoon. He waltzed in saying …Well what did we have? I told him that MY baby was a boy. Small wonder that marriage only lasted less than three years.
I got to bring my son home on Xmas morning. Cheater ex and his brother wanted to know when I was going to cook Xmas dinner. I told them both to go fuck themselves and took my little one into the bedroom to go take a nap. A neighbor kindly sent over a plate of food for Xmas.
Yep, I was chumpy enough to marry two asshole cheaters. My only excuse for #1was that I met him at 16. Cheater ex #2 was a way better liar and manipulator not to mention being intermittently psycho in the end.
Tempest, I was WARNED by a psychoanalyst: ‘Do not marry him, he will make you very unhappy’. But I refused to listen. Much easier to be codependent than work on yourself!!!!! I have forgiven my former self, but that is 100% on me.
Many of us ignored warning signs, even if not so blatant as your warning.
However, I will cop to “stupid” or “stubborn” or “wearing rose-colored glasses” or “familiar with dysfunction” before I cop to co-dependent. I hate that term because it implies that we were complicit in their psychopathy, and that if we “fix” the situation we will fix them. Nope, we weren’t codependent, we were victims.
My STBX asked me – while I was in the middle of natural childbirth – to proceed a little more “expeditiously” because he was tired.
Mine was put in charge of labor-sitting me in the middle of the night when we asked for privacy to continue with a very long unmedicated labor. Eventually I decided I’d had enough and would take a hammer to the head if it would have put me out of my misery, and in between contractions I tried to explain this to STBX.
His response? He would start to nod and then fall asleep until his chin hit his chest and he woke himself up again, only to repeat the cycle. This went on for what felt like an eternity until I realized something had shifted and the baby was making his way down, finally. So I ended up with the natural childbirth I’d wanted, but as always with STBX, any role he played in it was purely by accident, not through intention or effort on his part.
I hope you threw the afterbirth at him.
After 24hrs of labor while X slept in a recliner, he got up when it was time for me to push, two hours of pushing, X walks up to me and tells me, his feet really hurt. All I said was “I don’t want to hear it..” I should have punched him in the face.
LOL, Tempest–I should have cooked it up in a stir-fry and served it to him nice and hot!
with some fava beans and a little Chianti.
“I hope you threw the afterbirth at him.”
That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all week!
I agree – throwing the afterbirth at him is not only funny when I read it the first time, but even funnier the 2nd time. As sad as it is. And, then, take a photo of it. Asshole.
When I complained that he was giving me absolutely no support, he said: well, this is really boring.
Punishment because I had rejected his help the first time, because I was in so much pain I went inside myself.
1. Spent one crazy Christmas with him throwing temper tantrums, tossing a TV out our 3rd story apt window, putting a knife into the counter and then leaving the Christmas dinner table at his mom’s to go meet his OW(said she needed a part for her heater)
2. Next crazy Christmas I asked him to leave because of his behavior, he went out our 3rd story apt window trying to get my sympathy, like he was going to jump, I shut the window and left the room so he came back in
3. 15 years later, (after he spent time in a hospital learning to deal with his temper, and supposedly giving up other women) he decides to meet up with his old GF from 20 years ago, I find out right before Thanksgiving, he says it was only an EA, I waffle until 3 months later (the week after our 20 year anniversary) I found a picture of him from his romantic cruise with the OW, guess it was much more than an EA
He is now long gone and I plan to have an amazing, happy, peaceful holiday without him!
“I shut the window and left the room so he came back in.” I’m sorry, but HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
Yeah, Moaklis!! Here’s to a happy, peaceful, cheater-free holiday!
I started mine tonight with grapefruit-infused vodka, the Ramone’s Rock & Roll High School, and happily anticipating my oldest daughter’s return from college.
Hey! Oh! Let’s Go!
Tempest that post made me smile. Enjoy your daughter’s visit.
Thanks, Nic. Last Christmas was 3.5 months after D-day. This Christmas will be a very merry one.
1. A chance meeting in our town at a competition (aka Look At Me Contest) led to a phone call and plans to a quick meet and fuck 300 miles away and instantly transformed into TRUE love.
2. Tons of schmoopie texts and sexts with my favorite disclosure that 40 something OWhore was most proud that she’d been voted “Best Dressed in High School” (yes, seriously), wow what a fuckwit.
3. And for my finale and grand exit I am filing custody and child support case against him next week, Merry Christmas Mother Fucker. The End!
1. One month before DDay we were at a wedding. I tried to Kiss him-kiss him on the dance floor and he pushed me away. He said he wasn’t classy to do that.
2. DDay, Ex calls me to tell me that he has called a counselor and made an appointment to get some help for his depression. What he didn’t know was that I was in Wal-mart buying printer paper and highlighters so could print and highlight phone records for the confrontation later that evening.
3. Also, DDay, I figured out who the OW was and called her cell many times. She was a ho-worker. She wouldn’t answer and finally sent a text that cited the law regarding stalking and harassment. I responded in kind. I sent her the law regarding criminal conversation and alienation of affection. Then she blocked me from everything she could. Bye Felicia!
What is it with the whores and harassment. They pick up married men and say we are harassing them. I didn’t harass her I called to pass the torch, telling her about his soring Time fucking frenzy and the lies. She told me he was angry he had to support me. What?
Because they are disordered and they know damn well that most people pussy-foot around giving them actual consequences, or when they are given consequences they aren’t enforced. Thus, they have free rein to do whatever the fuck they please to ‘win’. Combine this together and you get affair partners.
Yes, she has yet to face any consequences for taking my son’s father. Well, I take that back. After I knew who she was, I was going to have her fired from the place she worked. Big corporation. I had already contacted HR. NO way would they give her a pass for having an affair with a married subordinate. She left that job quick.
Yeah, Donna, I don’t get it either. These OW/OM’s ruin lives and WE are the ones who harrass. She’s damn lucky I have never seen her again. I’d beat the shit out of her most likely. We met after my ex started working at that job. He insisted we come and meet her. You know, we probably have a lot in common. Shit like that. It’s makes me cuss a lot when I talk about it. Like I have Torettes.
In 2005 I started losing function in my left arm and hand and I began walking with a limp. I had one of several MRI’s done and one could only be scheduled at 11:00 pm. My kids were 5 & 6. My husband HAD to go into work to be on the computers and fix them at night while the staff was out for the night.
I had to drag my kids out at 11:00pm – 1:00 am with their toys in the freezing winter to play on the hospital waiting room floor while I had my lonely MRI.
No, he wasn’t working on the computers, he was screwing a prostitute in his Jeep. She conveniently left her jacket behind for me to be told he took his department out to lunch.
After a normal MRI, it was thought I had ALS – a horrible disease which would leave me completely paralyzed and dead unless I became dependant on a ventilator.
I scheduled testing with the top Dr. For ALS. Husband could not go with me to receive the terrifying deadly diagnosis because of how important he was at work. He spent the afternoon in the park with OW # 2 begging her to go on his company trip with him to Florida because OW# 1 could not go. Although I did not meet all the criteria for ALS, they did not know what was wrong with me. I came home crying out of frustration and saw a strange text on my husband’s phone telling someone (OW#1) that he was with me for testing.
That was D-Day for me – not going with me to possibly hear my deadly diagnosis but using me as an excuse for OW # 1 to be with OW # 2!
I’m still alive and he’s still an asshole. The shit I believed is so amazing to me. I truly had no idea I would open up a phone to AFF ads, Craigslist ads, SINGLE CHRISTIAN dating sites, naked crotch-shots on his phone, pristitutes that lived in the apartments behind my house…… A good ole nerdy country boy, my ass. Geeezus!
*prostitutes
Oh, and this is not a contest submission as it can’t come close to some of these stories. I just got carried away with what jerks these twats can be.
what a horrible, disgusting man. I hope you are doing well now, and healthy again.
Yeah, mine was one of those good ol’ nerdy country boys too.
While negotiating our divorce settlement, one of the offers sent to me was the ex and his cockroach would move in with me. I could keep the master bedroom, they would take the guest room. His attorney assured mine I would be taken cared of and would want for nothing. This roommate situation was their solution to alimony. He didn’t want to pay and believed this was a viable solution.
Fucked in the head if you ask me….
Was the attorney serious, or was he just humoring your ex? Because jeeeeeeezuzzzzz…..
Move in with you???!!!!! That’s next level deranged.
My ex bought a stinky old RV and said he planned to live in it. Our children could live in it with him on his custody time. When I said he had to get real housing for the children, he asked if he could park it in my driveway and live in it there.
My ex really was living in an old RV parked in his sister’s driveway for quite a while! He told our son it was all infested with mold, too.
They always are. That thing was a rolling horror. Since the kids were spending time in it, I demanded that he have a professional cleaner come out to disinfect it. The cleaner was a friend of mine and he said he’d never seen anything like it.
I should add that my cleaner friend got his start in the business cleaning up crime scenes.
Fucked in the head FOR SURE arleen!!! These people aren’t human!
Linden – I’m laughing so hard right now, literally, had to get up and walk around roaring with it. Parking his filthy m/h in your driveway? Does it get any lower? uhh..to save $$. pfffft
I know, right? My mom said to never let him know the property actually did have an RV hookup or I’d never get him out!
Can somebody please tell me the dancing yedi story? Could use a good laugh! ?
GladItsOver can tell it better, but her X posted a video of himself as a dancing Yeti to help sell his forthcoming books (if I remember it correctly).
This I want to see.
They were very serious. His attorney was deranged in her own right.
X went shopping with me and had me help him decide what clothes to buy (to impress the whore). When we got home he modeled his Calvin Klein boxers and asked me if he should shave his arms.
I can’t tell you how many nice pictures of my wife I took – some sophisticated, some sensual, some eclectic. All eventually made their way to the OM.
Or I check the oil in the car, set the tires to the right pressure, put new snow tires on the car etc – all unknowingly facilitating her long drives to meet up with the OM in some hotel or private hot tub or …
But one way I eventually caught her was “forgetting” my phone in her car. Find My Iphone was in a hotel’s parking garage? outside a lingerie shop? Who knew!?!
I like the way your mind works, Buddy! I’m surprised I didn’t think of “forgetting” my phone in STBX’s car. I suppose it’s just as well because by the time Find My Iphone started sending automatic notifications to users when a search was activated, I’d made the decision that I knew enough to stop being the Marriage Police.
Still, though, what I like about that strategy is that you can then “find” your lost Iphone in their car and leave them wondering how long you’d been tracking it to see where they’d really been . . . bwahahah!
Turn the sound off.
oh yeah,
this could be a whole semi-sick but necessary at times topic
test out your snooping techniques before deploying them for sure
and in the last few years, playing private “I” is probably getting more challenging unless you belong to anonymous
at least for those of cheaters who are really careful about hiding their tracks
That’s why it’s so important, if you’re a Chump still in Marriage Police mode, never to reveal your evidence or how you found it. If you decide to confront them with knowledge of their cheating (but only once you’ve lined up enough ducks in a row to file), simply say something like, “You can deny it all you want, but I know the truth.”
Since most of what we eventually find is the tip of the iceberg, leaving them wondering about what you actually do know and how you know it will drive them crazy.
Of course, keeping in mind that disordered freaks are capable of far more than we can ever imagine, as so many of these stories illustrate. Sometimes it’s just best to leave and save your knowledge of their cheating for others to hear. I wish I’d found CL sooner and had followed this advice!
I, for one, am pretty damn good at playing PI ! (I’ve had 2 in a row – one was married and i was unknowingly the other woman, the other had a whole separate email account for his desires)
Ok I’ll take the bait Angela. Tell us your, I fucked a married man woes. All ears.
Well, it only went for 3 months. He was the founder of a spiritual meet up group – can you believe it!?? It was the first group I ever joined. He said from the beginning he was single, no kids (like me). He had a fake surname, plus a fake Facebook profile with that name (never added him as a friend on FB cos I’m not on there much). Said he loved me, & I was his soul mate, etc. Had plans to travel overseas together. Things were going strong, suddenly he breaks up with me, saying he had to move overseas to support his parent’s in the Himalayas (btw, the coward broke up by text not even face to face). Then he blocked me on What’s ‘App. i was pretty pissed off – I’ m not close to needy & never stalked him. WTF? I started searching online. Found nothing. Then I stopped searching with his surname & just used his first name & his profession. Also I used a picture search engine. Very eventually I found his website, with a pic of him, & different surname. At the very bottom, in fine print, it said ‘this website was created by XYZ’. Same (real) surname as him. So I started searching for her. Found her on social media. Pics of them together. Many pics of presents he’d given her, soul mate cards, etc etc. They even went to a regular area for weekends away – the same place he’d taken me for a weekend away!! She thought they were so happy together. He was a master manipulator. He of course was still in the local area. I was sobbing & sick in the stomach for weeks.
I definitely wanted to tell her, but I knew he would manipulate her & make me look like a liar. I sent her a pack by registered post where she and she only could sign for it. It had lots of evidence of texts, messages, etc. Specifically texts where he says he’s single, likes me more than a friend, not married, lives with his brother, etc. After that I sent him a couple of nasty emails. I never heard from him again. She sent me an email thanking me for the information, saying it was a shock, & that she had forgiven him & they were ‘moving forward’ & that the relationship had been ‘neglected’. (All of her language & phrases were exactly the way he talked, master manipulator). What a chump!! A few days later I found his dating profile on several websites back from before me but of course when he was still married (serial cheat). I emailed her again. This time she was angry. Didn’t want me to focus on the past. Politely told me to fuck off. She’s a massive chump!! They are still together. He’s tried cheating again (or actually has!!). Her head is deep in the sand. I was a chump too!! Thank god no kids each end!
Oh, and – 99% of the texts/What’s App messages were not dirty. It was all deep and meaningful, spiritual talk. I wasn’t trying to torture her at all. PS.When I my recent X cheated, I read through every single thing 1000 times. I wanted the details. I had to remind myself that it really was true & that this is Who He Is. Obsessing helped me to stay angry, & not forgive quickly. Thus, this anger helped me to tell him to get out, & helps me to remain NC. And of course, when I went NC I got CLARITY. So for me, that disgusting stuff spurs me to action which protects myself.
Nice work, Buddy. I feel like the 2 iphones I got for X and I helped his affair with dumbass neighbor begin, and end. He was really into texting and sexting with her, it helped their psycho love affair blossom! But then, it also helped me catch him, because while I was working 12 hour shifts, I could look at his phone sitting right in the back of her house, for like 4 hours (that’s where her bedroom was).
Of course, when I told him -I see you in her bedroom!, he said – you know, that find my phone is not accurate! They always have an excuse, but I knew where he was. Also I saw a text from her the next day, that said- you left your underwear over here!
Fun times!
Man oh man. If only it were that easy. What do you do when your asshole doesn’t drive? He’s got some tiny little pack to drag his shit around. No phone is hiding in that. Hmm.i need to buy those tracking pin stickers you can put on keys and stuff. And sew it into a seam of his bag. You’re brilliant.
First time poster long time reader. Thank god I found chump lady or I would have listened to all reconciliation websites against my better judgement.
1. Trying to get back with me and the 18 year old child he was cheating with at the same time. Using the same text messages to us both.
2. Him trying to deny everything even though me and OW had joined forces and recorded him promising us both the world and swearing on his dead brothers soul that he would choose each one of us over the other.
3.still trying to deny it when we set up what’s app group posted recordings, same msgs to us both and then both dumped him.
Can someone please inform the RIC that behaviors matter! Actions matter! Circumstances matter!
This stuff is egregiously destructive, abusive and traumatic. This stuff is reality, authenticity.
Can someone please inform the RIC that chumps matter – we are real people who endure this crap!
Buddy can I be really stupid and ask what RIC stands for? Sorry I am new to this and learning so much chump jargon I wish I had never had to find out.
Welcome, confused. Reconciliation Industrial Complex.
The term for all the bullocks you’ll find out there about how to win him back and how to keep your man and how it’s actually the chumps fault because you didn’t dance hard enough. Cheating isn’t excused, but seriously, you must have been doing something if they cheated on you…. Right? Boo. They are full of garbage.
RIC in a nutshell:
– You became unattractive and neglectful
– He/she tried to tell you but you refused to listen or acknowledge
– He/she had no choice but to cheat to get his/her needs met
– You send $$$ to Dr. RIC
– You fix yourself to become attractive and attentive
– Then he/she will stop cheating and your marriage will be better than either of you ever thought possible
Moreover, it doesn’t even /matter/ if points one and two are true, because point three is a lie from the pit of hell.
Lots of people have unattractive and neglectful spouses who are completely oblivious or even opposed to all suggestions about ways to improve things. They choose the honorable courses of action: Maybe they stay and keep trying. Maybe they decide the situation is intolerable and leave, openly and honestly.
But they don’t cheat. Ever. Because people with good moral character don’t do that.
The choice to cheat on your spouse is evil. People who cheat have weak or nonexistent moral character, by the standards of literally /every/ system of morality any human civilization has /ever/ encoded. It is telling that even ancient civilizations that allowed human infant sacrifice, drew the line at condoning adultery. The one thing, probably the only thing, every single human civilization has /ever/ agreed on, is that you just. don’t. do. that.
love it heatdeath
It doesn’t matter one bit how unattractive or neglectful your spouse has become. The instant you cheat, you have lost the moral high ground in that relationship, permanently. Nothing they did was or even could be justification for cheating. Even abuse isn’t justification for cheating. Justification for getting out of there at warp speed? Hell yes. Justification for cheating. Not even close.
Lather rinse repeat.
“– You became unattractive and neglectful
– He/she tried to tell you but you refused to listen or acknowledge
– He/she had no choice but to cheat to get his/her needs met”
If this is true, why on my holiday did I see couples still together, one of whom WERE unattractive and neglectful?
I am not the greatest oil painting, and self-esteem is in the toilet after all this. I must be really ugly unattractive and dirty for him to do this to someone he is supposed to care about!
But seeing people not oil paintings themselves, being accompanied in just the ordinary married way, having a husband jump into the mud spa with them, gave me a real pang.
It isn’t me. He was never connected. Shallow kibbles made him alive, not calm connect. That isn’t my fault.
Wow, lots of disordered creeps out there.
Mine probably don’t stand a chance but here we go:
1) Took me to the restaurant where his AP was a server for our 21 wedding anniversary.
2) Left behind a book, “The Sex-Starved Marriage” when he left. (Yeah, it was me who was starved for sex)
3) Introduced new girlfriend (who, yes, lived in Mom’s basement) to our daughter 6 weeks after he left.
4) Called drunk and raged when I said I wanted a divorce resulting in a 911 call. Police dragged his drunk ass away.
These freaks are such sad pathetic human beings
Oops I meant “Got drunk and became enraged….”
1. On my Birthday, while I am camping with the kids, she emails the OM “Went on a glorious bike ride this morning, then did some Pilates. Exercise makes a girl hot and very very wet. Sorry we’re not together now, but I need you so bad I’m and having mind-blowing orgasms. … etc”
2. On her birthday, the kids and I drive all over the region picking out artisanal cheeses, fruits, and local wines. I cook a gourmet French dinner.
3. Three days later, she twice angrily says “We didn’t do shit for my birthday” – not once but twice.
I later found out she was mind blowingly angry because the OM didn’t give her a present on her birthday. Also, I guess $500 of wine and cheese did not make for good facebook post. She’d lamented that we didn’t go away for the weekend to a 5-star resort nearby – surely so she could have a better facebook post.
Honestly, Buddy, this story makes me want to weep. In 29 years of marriage, I didn’t receive a single birthday gift. I cannot imagine how awful it must have felt to have such an amazing birthday effort and dinner rejected as not good enough. It sounds like you went all out to make it special. May your goodness come back to you 100 fold. And may her dysfunction come back to her 1000 fold.
yeah, it take being taken for granted to a whole new level
i think we all sometimes rationalize not doing some provincial day-to-day tasks by saying we don’t always buy into doing something just because everyone else does it, but the cheater narcissist conveniently takes that attitude towards their spouse on almost every “task” to subconsciously justify their crappy behavior
You went to alot of trouble to make her birthday special and memorable! What an ungrateful bitch!
Sorry Buddy. Ditto Yo. What is it with these NPD slunts who have to put everything on facebook like somebody actually gives a damn! “Hey beautiful FB friends I just shat a 2 foot turd that stood up on its own! woo hoo!”
LOL
Buddy, you sound the most lovely lovely man. There are lots of us women who never got that kind of birthday effort, hell, never got taken out, not even to the movies, who would appreciate you so much.
I know, it isn’t the original family, kids having parents who behave properly and keep everything together; and that hurts so much.
Thanks for the kind words Patsy.
I know it will take a lot of courage and action and “meh-vana” to find women like you – I don’t want to give up. I do want to move forward and “gain a life” and if that life includes a truly appreciative woman, all the better.
I vote for this one. 30 page PowerPoint Slides!!!!! Someone has too much time at work. I never did that many slides presenting to my Board of Directors. WOW…Simply WOW..
I am smiling to my self, thank you CL.
I had a double breast augmentation in December 2006, I had just under 2 kilos removed (that about 6 pound i think) and I am still today an E cup. Ex couldn’t handle that I was willing to go through with the surgery. Even as I sat in the waiting room he kept questioning me if I was sure I wanted to go through with it and how was I coping emotionally, yep he was digging for an insecurity he could exploit. He didn’t get one I was very happy and calm about what was going to happen. He started to loose his grip on me that day, as I can honestly say his crazy only increased in the weeks, months and years that followed. And yes he was already cheating by this stage.
So I guess I have one from the BDSM section, my X hand crafted a “pet” collar for one of his OW so she could be his pet and was told to wear it at all times. W.T.F.
I wish he came with a warning like hot coffee, instead his forehead would read “Caution: Freak inside !!! “
I’m not sure if mine is Weird enough to qualify. But Entitled – oh Yes, both him and OW.
1. Ow was EX’s co-worker – 20 years younger, married, no kids, but husband was never home until 10 pm due to work… So, she had plenty of time to spend anywhere she wanted. She chose to also friend me, because EX was always bragging about me, and my food..etc.
2. So she would call me up during the day – “so what you doing tonight?” oh nothing I would say – come over for dinner.. hang out with us. – Yes, I did! I served dinner at least 2X a week for my now EX’s whore.
3. Her sitting at my dinner table with my family probably playing footsie with my EX, – probably after they had just fucked at work- is the part that is so fucked up, so entitled, so disrespectful, of my EX – to let this whore sit with us and our children. I would even buy her own special drink, because she was too immature to graduate from Hard Lemonade to Wine. All along I thought what would a 6ft (he’s 5’6) , 20 years younger, newly married, would want with my EX? So naturally, I thought what they shared was a simple work friendship.. Oh yes – at least 3 years of this… CHUMP me!
No. they are not together, when he was cake eating with me – I had enough and sent her the texts he was sending me. Oh she was soooo offended, so betrayed. “I just won’t have that”
Yes, he’s still fucked up. She recently reached out and wanted me to forgive her.. Nope won’t give you that satisfaction. Fuck both of them…
X also made me hand-crafted suede lingerie !!!!
Here’s another.
Post D-Day, I find out I’m pregnant (8 years of secondary infertility) and still haven’t yanked the full truth out of Cheater. I start to miscarry and am a mess, so I figure – what the hell – it’s time to grill this pig like he’s on a spit. After I hear him recount his entire sex life from his teen years to the present, in excrutiating detail (as I requested), and the tears are pouring from my eyes against my will (where they just roll down on your stoney, stunned face), I very simply say, “Okay” and walk out. He shouts “I’m such a shit; I should just KILL myself.” I went downstairs and started making dinner.
Then I thought about it. There’s a LOT of suicide on his side of the family. Men, all men. Young and married, with children.
My three children are upstairs in their rooms. If he does this, they’ll be startled and find him first.
I flew up the stairs and into our room, where he was loading a hunting shotgun (the idiot wouldn’t even be able to pull the trigger – but he didn’t know that) and – eerily calm – told him to go bring it somewhere else. That I didn’t think he could be a bigger piece of shit… but to even CONSIDER killing himself in his children’s home – causing them to find him with a brain-splattered hole in the ceiling? He was really outdoing himself over his usual assholery. There was no limit to how selfish he could be, to not even think of his own children finding him splattered everywhere.
He stopped. He put it away. Felt bad for himself. Sobbed. Blah blah blah.
I very often question myself… maybe I should have just taken the children and left him to it? But it’s that trauma of suicide to those left, that I know well from his relatives. I didn’t want that for my children.
You did the right thing,InsistonHonesty. Yes, the world could use one less cheater, but protect your children first.
The entire topic reaffirms CL’s message. TRUST THAT THEY SUCK!!!!!!
I’m sickened by the cruelty that my fellow chumps have suffered.
The cheating is only the tip of iceberg of these abusive and cruel deceivers.
I wish for all to get to meh Tuesday, and celebrate being free from crazy.
K I am probably too late to the party, but this IS a funny story: exhole followed me home when he saw me leave the swim club (post D-Day) with a girl friend (that is a friend who is a girl who was supportive at the time) knowing that I don’t drink after driving and that was probably in our plans, which it was. Sure enough, friend and I polished off a bottle or two of wine, she lived down the street, all was fine–until ex decided to show up unexpectedly to house which was then the post-marital residence. Convinced a couple of police officers that since I was drinking alone (which I was then–alone, but no longer drinking) I must be suicidal. Long story short, got taken to the local ER for a self-harm evaluation. Talk to the SW who I was embarrassed to have see me under the influence of way more wine than ever. Then, SW says, apologetically but per protocol, that she’s required to page the on-call psychiatrist to sign off on me going home, as I am clearly no more suicidal than she is, just pretty tipsy and very ticked off. Well, it’s beginning of the month and no one can find the on-call phone list, so they decide to just use the pager….which begins to beep on the waistband of my jeans. Yup, I was the oncall, well, I had been and was supposed to have turned over the pager but just forgot…so I got to sign my own self out of a psychiatric hospital admission. Loser.
OMG THAT’S hilarious!
That takes the Pie – The Second Lady!
WINNER!!!!!!!!!!
Poor Chump Lady, sifting through this unbelievable mind boggling stuff and deciding the biggest freak.
TRUST that they suck.
In England he could be arrested for wasting police time. Do you have that in the States?
So many disordered, no-talent ass clowns out there! My ex did a few memorable things:
1) After crashing my motorcycle with me on the back (yet managing to jump off before impact like the evil, agile little troll fucker he is), gave me a 3-day silent treatment because “I had made him angry, which made him drive too fast,” and also, though I was still pinned under the bike, “I didn’t ask right away if he was ok.”
2) In preparation for a joyous night of cheating, gave me a massage, served me wine and told me to enjoy my evening while he went “night fishing” at a nearby beach. Came home clean as a baby, smelling strongly of his own cologne, and refused to greet me without a shower first “to get the sardine smell off.”
3) Once, “as a prank,” pretended he was going to give me a kiss, but actually spit chewed up pork into my mouth, laughed hysterically and especially so because I’m a vegetarian.
OMG. Wow. I’ll bet at least one body part of his had a “sardine smell”….
And he knew that, hence the comment. “I know what you don’t know” … The hidden aggression of these people, normal people just do not understand.
You sound like a ranting freak when you try to explain.
Knowledge is power. Anyone who has information you want, but refuses to give it to you, is holding it over your head. That’s why these narcs lie—boosts their power.
Yes, that’s such a good insight. The control of information always seemed to be so important to the ex. He always said he was “closed off” and needed help opening up. So much hidden (and not so hidden) aggression in his behavior.
#3 kind of freaks me out. What else could he think was funny? ‘Hyuk Hyuk, I just shot you in the foot… Guffaw’
The Snake’s greatest hits….
1. He and attractive female co-workers often had to work at her home or their boss’s empty home, to get things done without workplace interruptions.
2. When I was upset about him lying about paying for “work” dinners out of his own pocket, he changed his credit card password to avoid getting caught lying again.
3. When working out of town, it’s unreasonable to expect a text reply within 24 hours.
4. He invited his sexy, gorgeous, intelligent female former co-worker, who was the “whole package” (his words, not mine) to come to our home for a getaway, after her husband dumped her. When we were dating, he used to call me sexy, gorgeous, intelligent and the whole package.
I don’t know whether she’s made that trip or not, because that’s when I got the fuck out.
Ugh, your ex cheater’s rationales and lies and covers sound so similar to mine. Who knew that cheaters were all such hard workers!
Oops, auto-correct on 4.
Ms Sexy Whole Package SO chumped her. Not dumped her. So basically she was traumatized by her ex cheating while she was engaged in an EA (if not more) with my snake.
So while I don’t want to do any chump-blaming…. maybe she should have left my husband the fuck alone.
Only three?
1. After finding emails sent to OW who was my friend while we were in “R” he said with all sincerity…. “I don’t care what happens to her, I was just saying anything I thought she would want to hear so I could get to Fuck her again”.
2. Me about my Birthday Gift “Thank you so much, I love it, I’ve always wanted a massage table!”. Him “I should have known, you always ruin surprises. You are impossible to surprise” (I work from home, I had to sign for it and could read the large print on the outside of the box). It came with a massage from him. After walking around the table to get to bed for three months, I finally gave up and put it away.
3. First Christmas after DDay,family gift stealing game was a blast. I loved watching our 70+ year old parents and young elementary school kids open and trade a stuffed animal of an STD virus.
This past September, I was summonsed to court on contempt. I had insured my car months ago, but he never spoke with his insurance agent… Anyhoo, besides the insurance complaint, he alleged that I lied about my chronic illnesses and being homeless at the divorce a year ago to get court sympathy for alimony. He wanted triple the alimony already paid back and he wanted the divorce nullified. Uh, OK?
To further the surreal absurdity, the court house caught fire during his whining shit show.
Everything was dismissed and now he has to pay alimony through wage garnishment.
He sure showed me!
He sure did showed you! LOL
Echo,
Just when we think it’s finally over the fucked up rise up again just to o get their asses kicked. Yay Echo! Scorched by his own entitlement.
Well, this is mild compared to all your crazies!
1) One day X brought in all my clothes from our motorhome we used 150 days of the year – said he thought I needed them.
2) Had to take the thing out for a test drive for weekend after repairs were done – Labor Day weekend.
(had no idea where he went)
3) Came bouncing back from his 3 day weekend like Steve Martin doing a jig, smiling ear to ear, and said – oh, btw, I had to clean all the sheets AND the heavy comforter because the dog got up on it with wet feet. I asked which mud puddle he could have possibly gotten into since we had been having a 2 yr draught. Oh, and our washing machine in the m/h didn’t have the capacity to wash the comforter – why not bring it home? wwwwwww
(shudder to think of that one!)
Shortly before Dday, back when ex was gainfully employed and making good money, his boss gave ME a gift card for a local day spa, $200 I believe. This was a nice gesture because ex worked long hours. Soon after separation, before I got a chance to use it, ex took my gift card and gave it to his OW.
Late to the game here (busy work day):
1. Photo of his ex GF tied up and gagged, half naked in a basement. Password protected in a zipped file. Really?
2. Photo folder of “conquests” (I suppose) including one of a 12 year old labelled with her name, and age (he was 31 at the time.) Really?
3. Finally found out, after D-day, relationship with prior GF never ended, for 9 years into him living with me and my kids as my “boyfriend.” Weird phone call from Adult protective services to my house one day coincides with year that ex GF says he slapped her so hard during sex she was hospitalized. Really?
4. Phone calls on cell phone to numbers all over the country, usually for a minute or two then followed by a 30-40 minute long call. Really?
5. Looked one of them up and called it… it was to a psychotherapist in another STATE far away from here, looked up that guy’s website, specializes in gender identity issues. Really.
Who WAS this man?????
Merry Christmas mother fucker! The End!
LMAO NCStevie!!! PRICELESS! LOVE IT!
#2 is sick. Child porn/prostitution goes so far beyond ‘usual evil’. So seriously sick.
TheMuse–did you turn him in for the picture of the 12 year old?
Tempest, the photo is not a porn photo but the context is highly suspicious and weird and not normal. I’ve been waiting to get my legal battle with Cheater done and it is done now. There is more in store for him, all I can say here. He will be stopped because if he hasn’t done it yet it’s only because he’s worried right now about how I got the photo (all legally) and what else he is afraid I might have on him (also all obtained legally).
Muse
I have all my evidence in a safe place. I’m waiting patiently for the right time. Who was he? I’ll never know the full extent of his double life. It’s all on them.
1. Found out that the Ex found her via OKCupid and she was the love of his life. (This is a women who had dumped him previously when she found he was engaged)
2. He said he loved and was mesmerized by her red pubic hair and going down on her was “heavenly”. (OMG, I can’t even type this without being mortified)
3. explained he was damaged and that I deserved better than him (100% agreed. He is her problem now)
The red pubic hair must truly be something as it cause him to put a ring on her finger. One does wonder…..
Call me naive but…omg – some of these stories….!!! What in the hell is a butt plug used for and WHY would anybody want to plug up their butt? —-Help—-
Hey now, let’s focus on the actual problems. People can be all sorts of freak without being a nasty cheater. Some cheaters are vanilla as they come. And some chumps are a lady on the street and a freak in the bed. Boundaries and transparency. That’s the real point.
Thanks for your answer Creative – but you didn’t exactly answer my Q.
What IS a butt plug used for?
I’m old enough to have had colonoscopies and this just doesn’t sound like a good practice?
1) Hemorrhoids.
2) Infections from Vaginas
3) And, just plain blocking up the system. I have a VERY hard time thinking this feels good to any woman out there. Yes, Men – because it stimulates their prostate – but for a woman? I don’t get it.
Sorry – I didn’t give a real answer in addition to my protective snark for folks who may enjoy toys. I actually don’t love these toys specifically but occasionally have had some great times with well planned products. Butt plugs are used by men or women. And the point is for penetration only into the bum, not ass to vagina or anything- they’re specifically for bum. They are made from things that clean easily and don’t carry bacteria etc as long as you maintain them right. Like other toys there’s lots which are dishwasher safe or there are other ways to ensure cleanliness. Butt plug: It’s designed to go in and be there; often as an addition to whatever you’re doing to other sexy parts of the person using it. Some people will wear it in a strap-on situation, allowing a woman to use it like a penis. The anus is full of nerves and when stimulated correctly can be super fun for everyone, butt plugs are created to kind of stick in like a soother, like Ron popiells chicken rotisserie, you can set it and forget it. they’re formed with a base: a flat round part that never goes in the hole, it stays outside. then the plug starts skinny right where your sphincter is, because it’s most comfortable that way, and then they have varying lengths, shapes and bulbous varieties to stimulate in a variety of ways. They can be used in guys to stimulate the prostate which is super fun, and gals also can enjoy it, especially when removal happens as they reach orgasm otherwise. For people who are potentially thinking about trying anal sex, or looking for something to experiment with, it’s a good way to figure out whether you could or would like anal- because you learn that good bum play is usually about going super slow and low impact, with lots of lube and other stimulation. it’s not like porn where people turn over and get slammed like crazy by someone with a gigantic toy/member in the bum. Nope. That goes badly almost always. There’s a lot of work for someone’s ass to be ready to take that! If you have terrible hemmroids I wouldn’t recommend it, but I don’t think mild ones would be irritated, that’s what lube is for. or it would be a great incentive for you or your partner to up their fibre to keep them roids mild/at bay! Infections from vaginas- it could happen but that sometimes happens from incorrect wiping or plenty of other things. If people are really intense there may be a bit of cleanup (and if you’re not republican I suggest reviewing the term Santorum on urban dictionary or Wikipedia for a laugh.) but honestly it’s not usually a big problem, this toy only goes one place and stays put. Blocking up the system? Nope. If anything, some stimulation can help things move along. Not that I really recommend this as a solution…, it’s more enjoyable for most when you’re fairly empty in there, but it’s not a really big deal.
Wowza. Who knew I was such a butt plug lover. I’m actually not, I just don’t mind the occasional toy, and hate for things to get a bad wrap. Now- does it always have to be 8 inches, thick with a diamond shaped end and have a horse tail on the base so you look like some sort of anal unicorn? Not for me. But if someone’s not going to cheat on me, love and respect me and support me in other aspects of my life, and knowing that I haven’t hated previous bum play… I might be willing to see if I like it.
Thanks for your post on butt plugs Creativerational! Wow – what a lesson.
Hope this shows up in the right post.
I think you just removed another part of my innocence Creative
Oh no! I hope not in a bad way. With the right partner, toys can be good. But if you like vanilla, I wish you all the amazing vanilla, fair non cheating sex ever.
My now ex-husband and his good married christian cheater freak girlfriend would have sex in her 8 year old sons bed as apparently it was a sin to do it in the marital bed??? Her now ex-husband said to me that he couldn’t believe that she could have sex with another man in their marital bed that they both slept in every night. If he knew the truth he would be mortified! I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. Just sick!
As somebody who has made an /extensive/ study of Christian theology, that’s the f*cking stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Adultery doesn’t somehow become ok if you stay out of the marital bed. Adultery doesn’t somehow become ok ever.
[Yes, Paul turned some vague poetical phrase about “and the [marital] bed undefiled”. But God said, a couple thousand years earlier, in big bold Hebrew letters, “[YOU DO] NOT DO ADULTERY.” [Yes, that’s an accurate rendering. Hebrew is a cool language.]. And it’s clear from context in the Sermon on the Mount that Jesus, only a decade or two earlier, agreed.]
Yup. One of the Ten Commandments. It’s not okay. Ever.
Yep, I’m pretty sure she just does whatever she likes then prays to god for forgiveness. Aside from that they are both exceptionally special snow flakes and the rules don’t apply to them. They seem to be able to justify any and all of their many appalling actions.
(Ok so keep in mind the comments above are all about butt plugs)…. To me this is more word and twisted and sick than the stuff above. Rationalize.
*weird.
1) He claimed his OW (a PHD student at his research centre) was “his counsellor.” He has since abandoned /left me for her (which is great, long-term… now that I realise he’s a big jerk).
2) His Mum (my ex-MIL) told me angrily that I “should not air my dirty laundry” after I pleaded her for her help me/us when I told her, her son was screwing the OW.
(Note: She wasn’t at her son for fucking around on his 6 year defacto relationship. She told him that he was a “big man” for admitting “he was wrong after I finally cut through his lies and got him to fess up to his affair.)
3) He said (at 31 years old) that going out drinking and smoking weed until 4am in the morning (while I was at home in bed and didn’t know where he was because he was ignoring my calls/messages) with the OW and her friends was “his only outlet” (from our pleasant, supportive, long-term relationship, mind).
Mine is more sad than crazy
1. On a family hike he was busy taking pictures to send to ow. He told my 10 year old to hide behind the tree he was trying to take a picture of.
2. Fast forward a few months later. He is taking pictures of him and d playing together to send to ow. Also sending ow pictures of our kids.
Seriously what’s this about?
Trying to preserve his image as a “good father”.
yup, my cheater would portray what a great caring involved Mom she was to the OM when she was none of these things.
********TRIGGERING***********
**sorry, bad trigger**
1. Because X literally shits his pants every time he farts, I bought him a diaper pail as a going away present. He took it.
2. When he knew I was starting to suspect him, he started bringing me home single mini Tootsie Rolls and saying “See, I still love you!”
3. He makes $70k a year. He offered me $200 a month child support because our 12 yr old daughter “doesn’t eat that much”
So how many times did you roll on the floor laughing? Oh my god.
Many times. Many, many times. I’m still laughing!
My ex sometimes had “signs” from the universe that he was on the right or wrong path. Here are 3 of his supposed signs.
1) During the first affair, he ran his car into a light pole and his long-time lost wedding ring popped out on the passenger seat.
2) During the second affair, he was driving while on travel and almost got STRUCK BY LIGHTNING.
3) Between affairs he was stalking OW at her family home and actually saw her and her husband holding hands which meant he (MY EX) and OW were meant to be together, because hey, what were the odds of that happening?!
:-0
Haha RobinLee — your post reminded me of something funny about my ex:
There were signs from the universe that marriage was not for him!!
Honeymoon #1 (with his first wife) — he gets chickenpox
Honeymoon #2 (with me) – he falls and BREAKS A RIB.
Wow, you think they would listen! What will the third thing be?
It seemed like my cheater didn’t really listen to actual signs (almost getting struck by lightning, Hello?) But a lame sign like seeing OW when he was stalking her or in her area….”must be a sign from God!”
I’m thinking “signs from God” is pretty common….might be a good Chumplady post for the blog!
Breaking a rib- that’s a sign for you that you shouldn’t know him ‘from Adam’….. Bahahahaha
🙂
Ex had a stocking and foot fetish— always reminded me he was turned on my stockings with the seams up the back— in the middle of the “pick me dance” when I went out and got a crappy part-time job thinking bringing more money into the home would make him happy and help our marriage— he insisted on working from home with his ho-worker/boss saying since he was able to work from home she could come over and work with him and they could tag-team taking care of our kids to save on daycare while I worked. First day of work I came home and saw this b in my living room holding my baby—guess what she was wearing— yup! Stockings with seams up the back. At that moment I knew, but I still pick me danced more than year afterward.
I feel like a damn amateur….wow, all these stories. God Bless us all…
1. Thought Gollum was using physical therapy appointments as his guise to meet with an AP. I did a drive by the office and damn, there was his car. Learn 3 months later that the AP was the physical therapist.
2. 4 months earlier than that ^ Gollum and I attended the wedding of his coworker. A woman & her date (“high school sweetheart” of 7 years) walk in and I zero in on them…no clue why. Gollum and above mentioned woman quite obviously avoid each other for nearly an hour before giving in to introducing all respective parties. Gollum gets hammered, brings out his party guy personality, I get uncomfortable knowing I’ll be getting screamed at later for something/anything and the woman tries making friends with me all night. I find out later, this is the AP physical therapist.
3. Gollum and I are a year and a half into our separation and he’s out of money. Never mind the child support, the unpaid car bills & the never touched school loans..his lawyer needs paid. So he filed an emergency petition to force myself and our toddler out of our home so that he can get his equity payment early, citing a “financial crisis”.
4. When we first separated the gas & electric bills were still both in his name & came out of his account. He cancelled those without telling the companies our 1 year old and his wife were still living in the residence and we had both our power & gas shut off in January, the coldest month in Pittsburgh.
5. When we were still together but very on the rocks he was invited out “with friends”. We had our 1 year old and were supposed to be spending more quality time together, per our couples therapist. The plan was to stay in and watch a movie. Upon him learning of the other plans, he began feverishly cleaning the house…all of it. He never cleaned. Ever. He did the dishes, ran the vacuum, mopped the floors, disinfected every surface he could find and acted manic while he did it. Once he was done he said he should be permitted to break our date night in because he did chores…in our own home…
6. When I turned into a PI to try and catch him cheating I found a homemade CD with girly writing on it and drawn hearts in his work bag. I put it in the CD player and the first song was our wedding song. This CD, he says, was made for him by a patients 15 year old daughter….whether that’s true or not, it’s not a less incriminating story.
X was constantly complaining about back pain and scheduled physical therapy 2-3 times per week for at least 6 months. He would always return with a spring in his step, bragging what a miraculous cure PT was. But we never received a bill for therapy and I kept telling how odd that was. He repeatedly tried to “straighten it out”, even going so far as claiming that those kinds of sessions don’t show up separately in the bill. Of course, the entire time he was meeting OW near the hospital for BJ sessions. Yep, I’m sure BJ’s are just the cure for a bad back. And no, “those kinds of sessions” don’t show up on medical bills.
What kind of woman would accept a relationship that consists of giving some selfish fuck BJ’s? And he’s attached. I guess they must be into self-flagellation, or love to serve? How could that possibly be enough?
That’s what gets me, Free Woman. How can these stupid whores be so flattered that some creepy married man or woman is hitting on them? If a married person approaches you for dating / sex they are automatically disrespecting you. Cause only a whore wouldn’t tell you to go fuck yourself. So they are basically saying “I think you are a whore.”
Just like the dumb slut my ex was supposedly “madly in love with. “. Yeah, nothing says I’m madly in love with you like being married to and fucking your wife. He was so madly in love with the bitch I had to pry him out of my life, house, and bed with a fucking crowbar. I believe 99% of the time if they get married to the OW it’s cause the wife has physically ditched them. That’s why they hate Chump Lady so much. Leave a cheater. That’s the last thing they want.
Anita, same here. Once satan realized the divorce was for real he tried everything he could to stop it. Including, and I can’t prove it, but, of a sudden all hell broke loose in the marital home, pipes leaking, electrical problems all over the place and nearly new sump pumps all jacked up. Ugh. I think he was gaining entry while I was at work and jackin with stuff…show me I couldn’t live without him.
Fortunately I have some really great friends and family that held my hand and wielded tools to help me through it 😀
Well, after learning of the affair with the physical therapist I contacted one of my best friends who just so happened to have been the PT that left this particular business and the AP replaced. So my friend knew most of the employees and the AP’s boss, as did I (didn’t know that until my friend told me, though). So we told AP’s boss everything and since she had just recently gone through a divorce from her husbands infidelity she was beyond happy to help. She searched all the documents in their system and saw that my husband had been staying after hours many nights. She had a conversation with the AP the next day and I don’t know all the details but I know there was a lot of crying, apologizing and claiming they were just friends and that she regrets ever getting involved in his drama.
6 months later, after my fury had subsided, I contacted the owner of the company & supplied him with all the evidence of their communications; the phone records showing her on the phone with his for hours a day while she was supposed to be running his office, copies of the 2 texts I sent to her after learning of their affair and all the info his other employee had given me. I get a warm feeling inside thinking of her finally settling in after all those months and feeling secure again and that she had gotten away with it and then being brought into the office and slapped with all that documentation. Ahhhh….warm fuzzies. Lol.
I don’t know what the outcome was for her but I’m content with the panic she likely felt.
I’m so sorry that asshole put you through this. I’m so glad you’re free.
1) After 18 years of marriage, he fell in love with 27 year old “Francesca Smith” (he is 56) after one month of texting. He met her on POF. Turns out the pics were of porn star Raven Riley. Even after he knew it was a Ghana romance scam, he still sent 10k.
2) Two of the reasons he gave me for leaving? I would not get on an airplane and I would not walk around the house naked now that the kids were gone, therefore I had rejected him and ignored him.
3) After he dropped the bomb, he had to stay for a week until his apartment was ready. He moved into the spare room. I was concerned that I could not find the hand gun, as we had small grand children. Where is the gun I asked? He had moved it. A month later, my asking where the gun was turned into, “You are unstable and you threatened to kill me?” Huh? Very funny since I have never touched one.
Fucking asshat…
I think that Glad just met her maiin competition!
On the good news front, isn’t it great that these people are our Ex-Spouses? 😀
This. I knew that one of the authors I’d read about 20-30 years ago divorced her husband after she learned he was a child molester. The kicker is that I recently learned that her grown children are now saying that this author turned a blind eye to her husband’s molestation, and even aided and abetted him!
I want to unread every one of her books, which is a real shame. Infidelity is bad, but molesting children? Overlooking molestation?
Some things are truly evil.
DD 1 occurred while out of town with her mother??? How the fuck???
DD 2 with one of my best friends at the time….ok great we have 2 young daughters
DD 3 daughter discovers when looking thru moms phone???? I guess deleted files can be retrieved…..that was 7 months ago divorce is final now and teenage kids #1 emotion is anger now….can’t blame them either it’s just awful all the hurt affairs cause…..and life turned upside down….one day it will get good again
My son is writing his college app essays. His theme is ‘when my childhood ended and I became an adult’ both positive & unhappy examples. Of course the unhappy one is when I discovered the depth of the affair and our family blew up. He asked my permission, and I said that the story is his as well, and that if he felt the need to express it, go ahead, with my blessing. Better out than in. It makes meeting with his advisor and teachers awkward (for them) but it’s the truth and it’s his reality. But it makes me sad, too.
1. I woke up Christmas morning to find H in bed next to me reading, using a bookmark I had never seen before : a red silk ribbon with a silver ornament that said “Courage.” He says he “found it on the floor at the library.”
2. Later that morning, he admits the MOW gave it to him, to “help him have the strength to make the right decision.”
3. Two weeks later he leaves me and our three children for her. She’s also a mother of three. And our child’s field hockey coach. They met and started their affair while coaching their children together.
My mother died on Christmas morning, three years before this happened. Merry Christmas to me and my children.
“Courage” my ass. My Christmas gift every year since is being free of him.
WTF is up with these woman and egging on some loser to have the “courage” to leave his wife and children? I put a key logger onto our home computer which is how I found out. The emails said “I will stand by you the entire time and help you through this blah blah blah.” When he showed up at the attorneys with the requisite 8 binders of discovery all tabulated and labelled I know who had been going through all our personal financial records. Actually helping a man leave his wife…. only a pathetic needy kibble loving loser would do that.
Yeh. Of course the cheater wouldn’t do the work themselves. Find some douchy AP who is enamoured with their sparkly garbage to do all the work. AP is the next chump in training.
I discovered OW was helping cheater (after he left/got kicked out by me), search for real estate values online to try to refute the appraisal I had done by a licensed appraiser of the house in my and X’s name (that he pd less than 10% for.) Seeing that she was helping him to try and divest me of my financial security that I worked for the last 20 years, really enraged me even beyond seeing photos of rugs and photos from MY house that I saw in the photos of her house for sale online. I noticed after she bought her new house that Ex now lives in w/her that she didn’t put Cheater on the deed to HER house. But had no problem helping him try to screw ME financially.
These stories are just too much! Makes my head hurt and my heart sad. My cheater seems like a rank amateur! I. just. can’t. fathom. Cheaters just suck beyond suckitude.
1-For twenty years, I was the Christmas Fairy-got or made presents for my family or his-all thoughtful/useful/edible stuff. What did Mehphista get? Scarves. Record was 1998. Six in total.
2-Downgrade was part of the family-Mr Fab’s bro’s EX, so her daughter would go to FabBro for Xmas Eve. So she would slide round to our place for Xmas eve dinner. I later found out in their FB messages (He left them open) that she was ‘enjoying’ the vibrating egg toy he had given her all through dinner.
3-Again, by the same means, I found out Mr Fab was, on the same night in question, wearing HER silk panties. They were a bit tight, apparently. They left me to do this dishes and put Kiddo to bed while they went to the pub. They went to her place, because HER husband was out.
So I guess the cartoon would be a tired, puzzled pile of scarves seated at the dinner table with a blissfully unaware kid, and a strangulated looking ageing hippie (thinking receding hairline and ponytail) playing footsie with a vibrating tart who looks like Freddie Mercury with tits.
Mehphista — Funniest thing ever! I hope Chumplady draws that cartoon!! It’s so great to be able to laugh about some of these crazy things we’ve been through with these disordered characters!
Ughhhh, Mehphista, these people are just gross beyond words. Do they ever think of anything else beyond their crotch??
Mine xh claimed on christmas evening that he was sick and want to stay in bed while my family was over from Europe. Who he never had met before.
The real reason was so he could un disturbed text his whore all night. He came down stairs claim that I poison him and made him sick. That it would have been beter that my mother had abortion before I was born.
First my family thought they mis understood him and that they translated it wrong.
So he replied no that what I meant and repeated it again.Needless to say my family was stund.
My unemployed ex took his new girlfriend to lunch at a very fancy and very expensive restaurant – coincidentally, it was same place he proposed to me 19 years earlier. First time – that I know of – he had been back since. During lunch, the douche bag texted me at work and said he was running late (he was at the dentist) and couldn’t pick-up our daughter from school. Told me to call a babysitter!
Mine certainly don’t compare to some, but here goes. Sorry in advance…I know I’ll go over the word count:
1. Our 20 year old daughter saw a text come through and outed him to me. At confrontation and as he’s telling me everything wrong with me, I ask how he feels about the fact that our beautiful daughter had to be the one to find out. He simply says, “disappointed.” In what? Yourself? In her? How about “I feel really awful about it?” Dickhead.
2. For at least 6 months after kicking him out, he continues to wear wedding band and display our wedding and other pictures at work. I find out by worming my way in the office one day to drop off our taxes. When I ask him why and tell him to take them down, he says he keeps them up because he’s a private person and doesn’t want people asking questions. Yah…maybe it’s because you’re fucking a co-worker and you don’t want found out to protect your reputation. Our marriage wasn’t good enough to fight for, but you sure like to hide behind it.
3. I get scoop from the “inside” that he approached the HR VP at his office and said there’s an attraction between him and OW, but they’re not acting on it until after divorces are final (his AND hers). Apparently, rumors forced him to play a hand. Naturally, it’s not the truth. He lies to an executive of the company. Grounds for possible dismissal #2.
And he wonders why I’m angry and can’t play nice.
my X was evidently still wearing his wedding ring many months later while shacked up with OW. My D13 on a rare visit dinner demanded that he give her the wedding band because she told him he didn’t deserve to wear or have it and he had broken the trust it represented. He told her he had to think about it. The next time they saw each other many weeks later he gave it to her with no discussion. I have no idea what she did with it.
I have a similar story Mommy Chump. He finally stopped the “pretending to still be married” charade at the request of our daughter. I’m glad he finally stopped, but it doesn’t erase what he had already done. He USED me to uphold his image. As if the cheating wasn’t disrespecting enough, the hits just kept on comin’.
After 10 years of marraige and 3 children and a successful business built together:
1. On Mother’s Day, he tells me he doesn’t think he wants to be married anymore but swears on the lives of his children that he is not having an affair. Meanwhile, he has been sleeping with my married secretary for many months while also being secret drinking buddies with her husband.
2. After 18 months of trying to reconcile after the above, STBXH goes shopping for my birthday present (one of the only he ever bought me) with his new married soon to be discovered affair partner. The bracelet ends up being one that she also wears.
3. He would volunteer to ref games for one of his affair partner’s children meanwhile he spending almost no time with his own children.
Cold and callous.
1) takes the marital bed and linen off the front lawn( where i threw it) and brought it to Tweenies appartment because she has a twin bed! In her dorm.
2) tries to steal ‘ his dog ‘ from the backyard… Neighbors look on at the show while ‘ his dog’ runs and hides from him
3)speeds across town to beat his parents to our house because they dont know he is living with his adolescent GF. Stands on with a rake pretending he has been doing yard work.
Me me me too, I wanna play-
1) Ex cheated on me for 17 years with two co-workers who are female but look like men, having group sex and individual affairs with them, and introducing them to me and our family as “family friends,” who sometimes stayed at our home with or without AP#1’s sons (one of whom had to be DNA tested post D-Day once her husband did the math).
2). On Christmas Eve (about 8 months post D-Day), I receive a notification from his life insurance company that ex changed his beneficiary to AP #1. My 3 children were there when I opened the envelope and started crying, my daughter grabbed the letter and read it, and I had to stop her from texting her father that she wished he would go kill himself.
3). This is a classic- one month post D-Day, ex was traveling with both of his AP’s and group sex partners for business, and kindly sent me the coupon for 60 cents off a gallon of gas from our local grocery store and told me to use it since it would expire before he got back.
I feel like an amateur, too, but I have to play.
1. X created a “sex machine” from a dildo and an old mixer from eBay. Was hurt and disappointed when I wanted nothing to do with it. Now I wish I’d offered to use it on his ass.
2. Claimed that a couple he’d never met before pressed their room key into his hand for a threesome because they found him so hot. He said no no at first, then went to their room but “only” watched and had a blowjob.
3. X invited a fellow Dom to a camping trip attended by friends and children. The Dom tied one of his slaves to a tree and “disciplined” her with a lash in full view of passers-by. X was shocked that Dom would so selfishly put all the attention on himself. The only saving grace is that it apparently happened after the children were put to bed.
Wow. Point one is especially interesting, not so much because of the kink, but the way he handled it. It’s the lack of empathy – that he had /literally no clue/ what effect his actions would have on you and how you would respond to his request.
I believe that when you’re married to someone, you should be “good, giving, and game.” If you want to try something a little different, you have the right to have your spouse at least consider it, in a safe and non-judgemental conversation. And vice versa. But the conversation part is the key. It you want to try something kinky with your spouse, you TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT FIRST! Work through how you both feel about this, how important it really is to you, discuss possible risks, set healthy boundaries, compromises, etc. You know, talk. Like grownups.
You DON’T just go on eBay and build a contraption, present it to them and say, “Hey babe, strap yourself in.” That’s a level of cluelessness, a simple /complete lack/ of ability to model your spouse’s (or probably any other person’s) personality in any even slightly realistic way, that speaks to the deep narcissism there.
Points two and three are, of course, just flat out unacceptable adultery.
I’m sorry. Congratulations on getting out of that “relationship.”
HeatDeath, it was even worse than what you point out. I discovered he’d built the thing when he blindfolded me and launched an inaugural run. Ouch!!! His disappointment was despite my obvious pain and repulsion. The only thing I can say for him is that he did turn it off immediately when I began yelling.
I look back and sometimes even I can’t believe these things happened or that I stayed so long.
There I go, assuming the best of people again.
It’s what we do. 🙂
LOL
Have you seen the movie elizabethtown? Orlando bloom builds a similarly doomed death machine. I cannot fathom why your ex thought his spinning mixmaster torture toy would be enjoyable. If everyone loved a spinning schlong, it would be everywhere on the market. But yes, way way way way worse that he didn’t talk to you about it first and ask you to try it. It’s basically assault because it was without consent
Sounds like a sadistic version of “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” from Home Improvement, making crude, hacked-together contraptions that were entertaining yet scary.
Ohana…..the exact same thing happened to me in the exact same way, by blindfold. What the hell.
How can this be? I’ve actually been sitting here thinking that maybe we’re talking about the same man.
Holy shit, I would never have imagined he’d try again. Or that anyone else would try this.
I learned from emails that he and his friend, now live-in, had seen some video of a sex machine and he was trying to recreate it. So maybe the common element is the video?
I have not seen the video but I always imagined it was something more functional, not a freaking mixer!
Jeez, maybe there is some sick forum somewhere where they plan this stuff…
I’m so sorry you had to experience that, too.
Ps- finallyrealized, I don’t think it could be the same guy unless he was married to two people at once or got secretly married after 2011. Of course, I’m assuming you were married to yours…but even if not, as far as I can tell, mine would proudly proclaim himself “a happily married man” when out trolling, so unless he had other tactics I don’t know about, I think you would have known he was attached. God only knows what he’s been up to since the divorce, though. His FB status is Single. As he explained on the day of the divorce, “that looks better.” Yeesh, the endless image management. My status says Divorced.
I will try to keep these brief.
1) Unbeknown to me OW from 10 years ago resurfaced this year. I was fired from my job in June for an alleged customer complaint that I adamately denied. I recently found out the “customer” was the OW. I was not even aware OW was in picture at the time of my termination. My fucker EX endorsed this behavior.
2) Fucker EX in jail for DWI’s. I decide I’ve had enough and hang out with a male friend who really helped me out. I tell EX exactly what I am doing and he suddenly comes alive love bombing the hell out of me from jail. I’m like “WHO IS THIS PERSON?” He was so sweet and loving. Nothing like his normal narc abusive bastard self. So like an idiot chump, I go running back. He gets out of jail in 2013. EX apparently decides he wants revenge on my friend. Unbeknown to me, Fucker EX took two expensive saws out of our garage and stashed them at a friends house. Then EX begins verbally assaulting me on a daily basis that my friend stole his saws while EX was in jail. The abuse I took over these saws was constant. EX also wanted my friend arrested for stealing the saws. I repeatedly told EX that my friend DID NOT steal his saws, which only made EX more irate that I defended my friend. I recently within the last two weeks figured out what really took place. Some serious sick sick sick mindfucking from this asshole.
3)Fucker EX told me one of the reasons he cheated on me was because I didn’t hang up his pictures. Ha ha ha.
// , That’s not the real reason, of course.
“My ex and OW got me fired” is a new one, I think.
Hello all 🙂
Some awful experiences you guys have had. My heart goes out to you!
Here’s one of my cheater freak Christmas experiences (which now makes me laugh and laugh!):
In December three years ago, my combined med school graduation/birthday/Christmas gift was a $7.50 box of chocolates (they were my favourite – I wasn’t complaining!) while the toss-pot spent almost $2K on hookers that week, and whined about how obscene it was that my bestie’s husband bought her a rolex.
Sorry but your husband is a cheapskate! Mines “generous”. On our first Christmas together he gave me a clock for the kitchen, an ironing board, an iron, a broom, a mop AND a dustpan! Before Christmas he gave me a list of what to give him: a gold chain, certain clothing items, certain music, and a basketball.
I should have known our relationship was doomed when for our first Christmas I got a phone (this was before cell phones… I am talking about the regular phone) wrapped up. When I opened it up I looked at him and asked WTF and he said well we are moving into a new place (He makes over $200000 year) and we are going to need a new phone! I said next time just go out and buy the weeks groceries and put them in a gift bag too.
Are these guys assholes or are they really THAT clueless?
This is repeating one of C/L’s posts about cheap xmas presents. My H went to England with his mother and went to Harrods. (didn’t even catch a photo of Princess Di!, which I wanted the most). He brought me back a toilet seat with shells in it. Being from England, it didn’t fit any toilets here but he made it fit somehow on one of them. That’s the first thing he gets back. Again, I’m highjacking a thread and including sick xmas gifts.
My husband is not responsible for his cheating because:
1) He likes pulling on and torturing women’s pierced nipples, and the OW loved it as well as other bondage techniques.
2) He likes having sex in public and the OW was game.
3) The OW uses ice cubes when giving a blow job.
SuzyQ, sorry to show my ignorance and I am nearly 64 years old but I don’t get or understand 3).?? Sorry.
Maree – I hope this shows up under your post asking about ice cubes and b/j’s. Well, I got to be a bit of a queen with them ;). Basically, you put some small cubes in your mouth while they are very hot and hard. And, that cools them down, and builds up the orgasm. Works pretty good. I actually forgot about that one.
Oh, and you can a rub a little between anus and penis and will drive them nuts..
Thanks Shechump. We are never too old to learn!!
No, we’re not too old to learn, after I just learned about a butt-plug and I’m not much younger than you. But, I did have an old friend ask me the other day how to give her H a good b/j, and, there I found myself giving her all this advice. She always got the good sex I guess. Yanno intercourse, or oral on her. I always got to give HIM good sex. hmm…how did that work again? Well, he wasn’t too interested in the vavajay. Mine anyway.
Maree – it also helps your mouth from drying out, even with lube. So, eat a few while you’re at it 😉
If you like to chew on ice, this is not a good time!
LOL – ice helps numb the smell of his pubes!
Gaghhh! Not sure what killed my libido…the ex or menopause, but reading this one statement fills me with gratitude over my lack of sex drive!
626 posts!! That was one epic read. I am so glad that these stories are mostly about EX’s.
There was nothing special about my NPD X but here it goes:
1. My cheater listed as a reason to cheat and abandon his family was that our bed, an antique bed from Brittany France with carvings of village scenes, made him feel like he was in church and being judged.
2. The only things my X wanted in the divorce settlement were his Swedish porn crime novels, the grandfather clock, and a Korean silk kimono.
3. He left me 2 days after I was diagnosed with cancer and has never asked how I was doing.
OMG, I love the judgemental bed!
Combine that with The EX-orcist not stolen chainsaws;
“Two not stolen chainsaws in a judgement bed”
I’m still reading the archives and am only up to February 2014 (so I just finished reading the submissions from 2013!) but I’m going to play!
1. My STBX’s AP is his cousin. 2nd cousin but still….
2. His parents are divorced. The cousin is from his mother’s side of the family. Their big coming out as a couple occurred at a funeral for a cousin from his dad’s side of the family.
3. After confronting him about resuming his affair with the gold digging white trash whore he waits about 30 minutes and then texts me: Hey, are you still making spaghetti for dinner or should I grab something for myself?
Since I was limited to three I had to leave off a few, like
1. His mother, a Pentecostal pastor’s wife who loves the Lord!!!! is the one that encouraged her to call him because he was “so sad”.
2. This was the second affair between the two of them. The first one occurred 2 years prior when we lived 1800 miles away from her. That one was supposedly an EA only affair, although they did have plans for her to go with him while he got a tattoo; she was going to get one at the same time of a sparrow which represents enduring true love.
3. I was stupid enough to believe we had reconciled and our marriage was better than ever so I agreed to move 2000 miles across the country even though I knew the two of them had at one point hatched a plan for him to move all of us closer. So our mortgage is a year old, we bought brand new furniture for the brand new house, I got a brand new car, and we put an insanely expensive inground pool in our backyard only to have him start fucking around with her again.
4. Found out all in the course of a week that CF (Cousinfucker) was having an affair, had cashed in the rest of his stock and deposited it into an unknown to me account, had been giving Harley (the name I gave to her because CF told me one time she was the worst mistake of his life and he should have bought a motorcycle) thousands of dollars from our account while telling me he was sending his mom money for groceries, and was interviewing for a job out of state. Also learned that the phones he bought for his mom and stepdad were actually phones for Harley and her daughter.
5. At the time she was telling CF how much she loved him and he was “the one” I found out from her husband she was still trying to sleep with him, and was also sending her neighbor “inappropriate” pictures. I’m guessing that means naked. I found out the other night she is still having sex with her husband. That makes me laugh but it sure as hell doesn’t make me want him back!
1. For my birthday (the day before he confessed), he got me a $10 gift card to Tim Horton’s and a card he got from his mom’s house.
According to his bank statement, he bought his whore over $80 in Sephora cosmetics among other things. He’s NEVER spent that much on me.
2. He used to listen to “fooled around and fell in love” by Elvin Bishop full blast.
3. When I moved out, he expected me to continue paying my half of the bills. He started crying because he wouldn’t have much left for food. I said no. Get your slut to feed you!
4. We were driving home from the infertility clinic after another round of testing, I was understandably upset, he turns to me and says “I’m fine if we don’t have kids” wtf?
Hi everyone…. and happy holidays! I am a long time reader, and rarely post. But wanted to post just one of the crazy things my xPOS STBX did during our fake reconciliation. This is about 8 months after he left to “stay at a coworkers house to figure stuff out.”. He still had access to my house and came in while I was at work. He took my favorite CD, my favorite DVD, a new cat bed, the 38c pistol, and our dog’s cremains. He put a used bong on top of his grandmother’s Bible on top of our bedroom dresser, along with a few bullets. WTF??????
That’s kind of scary. Leaving the bullets sounds like he was threatening you in some disordered way.
Freaky huh?
1. Once he was busted on his lie on where he was on New Years Eve when I was out of town with the kids, he admitted to dating for 3 years and having a steady “girlfriend” for 1 year. He met them on Craig’s List and POF. He said it started after I was done with chemo. He reported this like he was telling me what day the trash is picked up. Just the facts, no emotion.
2. I found a video in the closet after I found out about his cheating, that he called his “naughty boy” tape. It was him taking a shower in his tighty whiteys, touching himself. He said he sent it to some tramp who he met in a hotel near Disneyland. Oh then it’s ok!
3. He thinks their love is real even though he hates step children and she has 3. He said they stay to themselves so he is not going to be their dad. Perhaps he plans on killing them? He thought that was a funny suggestion.
Sick, delusional prick. Good bye and good riddance.
1) He would sit in a recliner with his mom’s bucket of holiday cookies resting on his gut while she offered him more and lectured him on his weight at the same time.
2) After boning the other woman late at work, he picked me up a bag of gummy bears and a movie I already owned at a gas station because he’d forgotten to get me anything for Christmas.
3) He and his mom broke our Christmas tree while having sex on the presents. Not really, that one’s a figment of my imagination. I think.
Can someone PLEASE send me to the link to GladItsOver’s dancing yetis story and the half eaten cereal story???? I’m dying to hear them, and can’t find them in the archives!!!!
December 8 2014 I think
Still laughing about the half-eaten cream of wheat story. Chuckle every time I go down the cereal aisle……
The cream of wheat story is definitely in the December 2013 archives. It was from the same contest, not sure of the date. You’ll have to dig through to find it, though because it had a lot of comments.
The dancing yeti story is throughout the old archives as well.
1. Two months before DDay he almost cut his hand off with a circular saw. I’m the one who rushed him to the hospital, surgery, changed his bandages daily and even helped him get dressed for weeks afterwards because of the cast. On DDay I discovered the PM’s between him and his hookers from Erotic Review that he had sent on the day following his surgery apologizing that he to re-schedule because “something came up”. In the meantime, clueless me was constantly refilling his ice pack, and making sure his poor little hand was elevated with a pillow.
2. During discovery, I learned that I was not even listed as his beneficiary on his life insurance policy.
3. Also, the money he used to pay for his hooker/porn addiction ($5,000) just in two months alone, was his mother’s money that he has POA over due to her dementia/Alzheimer’s and is living in an Assisted Living Facility. They were also threatening to evict her last month because he hadn’t paid her rent in over 3 months.
Yeah, he’s real special.
Here’s a thought, What do cheating disordered parents gift their children for Christmas? Aside from the usual crappy stuff, and the crap card saying he loooooovvvvves and misses them (so much in fact that his money has never been used to help his kids purchase one plane ticket home) wah, wah, wah, mine receive travel souvenirs from their dad’s and hoWife’s yearly vacation. T-shirts, coasters, and miscellaneous crap from bars my children have never been to. Uh, yeah, wow.
Mine does the same thing, Drew, minus the actual presents. He’ll write then letters telling them how much he misses them and loves them and can’t wait until they reclaim him as their dad. Meanwhile, dumbass still LIVES with us (DDay was in August; we just settled our temporary support orders), passes his son’s room every day and can’t bother to poke his head in and say hello. He has not had a face to face conversation with our daughter since August. He “didn’t have the money” to pay for our daughter’s Homecoming dress back in September but he’s managed to buy Harley a diamond ring, her four kids a Great Dane puppy, and drop over $300 on a dress for her daughter. He is all kinds of special.
X was very attracted to college girls although he was 40, married to me for 12 years, and we had a one year old daughter.
1) He ended up dating a teen aged college cheerleader whom he would escort to her sorority functions.
2) He married the cheerleader despite her clear proclamations that she “just wanted a boyfriend to give her a credit card and say, ‘Go shop.'” He gave her an $85000 Mercedes for her college graduation.
3) He recently got an illness that, by all indications, is sexually transmitted. Cheerleader wife detailed her concerns to me about his condition (via text which I have for proof because I know this sounds unbelievable) oblivious it was an STD, and told me she was worried about his “swollen ball sac.”
A few years ago on my birthday, my ex was out of state and I waited all day for a call, text, flowers, or something to wish me a happy birthday. Evening came and I heard nothing from him, and some great friends came around to take me to dinner. Afterwards I finally texted ex to say that I was bummed he forgot my birthday, and he responded via text saying “Surprise! I didn’t forget your birthday, I just wanted to make you THINK I forgot your birthday! Happy birthday!”
(WTF, what are we, 13?)
1) After I found out about the first affair, ex decided he needed to stay on Adult Friend Finder to keep in touch with friends and was in disbelief when I would not trust him 2 months post dday to go to a swinger party so he could see his “friends” again. I MUST have serious issues to not allow my Ex to go to a swinger party. He didn’t have much to say when I told him no woman would trust her husband to go to an adult friend finder party even if he had never cheated before.
2) I tried to figure out how to make him happier, so I was always worried about giving him sex more, since that was the “reason” I heard for the first affair, even though sex was happening at least twice a week before his cheating. When I found out about the last affair, he hurled a whole array of verbal joy at me. He told me that everyone he knew, including “fat pig” (a coworker) was more fun than me. He ripped off me for staring into space and not coming up with anything to say when he left me alone with a friend of his while he spent forever in the bathroom, even though said incident hadn’t happened for several years. He said he had doubts about marrying me because of my shyness but thought he could change me. (I was never informed of that beforehand). He said every word out of my mouth was annoying even though he had just blasted me for not talking enough. He told me that he talked to a counselor and the counselor said I probably had social anxiety, ocd and probably something else.
When I went to individual counseling and tried to reconcile with him, he asked how counseling was going. I told him the counselor suggested that I not define myself by my shyness. He got exasperated and exclaimed “But you’re not normal!” I was too shocked to comment.
3) He got his mommy to be on his side. She sent me a nasty email accusing me of being vindictive because I dared to tell other people (my friends and family) the truth about what he did and because I immediately withdrew half our life savings into my own personal account. She said “It may not justify it but unhappy people do not so nice things. Why didn’t you get help sooner?” My therapist thought the only thing wrong with me is that I began to believe something was wrong with me because of what other people said. My ex mother in law also called my mom and sent a letter expressing her “feelings” at one point. I refused to read it. I had since blocked her and refused to listen to or talk to her in any form.
So many to pick from, but I’ll just use this one as Twatwaffle’s greatest hit.
Claimed that I STOLE a family heirloom from him. Actuality, it was my engagement ring. Said to me “I’m divorcing you, so I get my ring back”. In court, fakes some tears and tells the judge “It’s the only thing I have left from my dead mother and she BROKE IN TO THE HOUSE (ya know, the one I BOUGHT) and stole it”.
God bless him.
1. When asked if he was going to do anything he promised to do for our wreckonciliation, and if he wanted to lose his family, he says he would miss his “chaparrito” (our two-year-old)–no mention of our 15-year-old son (guess the seizures issue is a good thing for him to escape).
2. When I became enraged and wanted to leave to go cool off, after he suddenly claimed he’d never cheated, and never done anything wrong, he tried to keep me from leaving by trying to take the air out of my tires, got pushed away, and lost his balance on our driveway and fell down, then refused all help, lay in the driveway like a baby for half an hour, and called 911–not for an ambulance, as I assumed, but to report me for domestic violence.
3. Used his vacation this year to go see his family in Mexico, using money he owes people from our bankruptcy–doesn’t tell our sons goodbye or that he is leaving, or that he will be missing his weekly two-hour visitation twice. (I only found out he was leaving the day before when I called him about a financial matter.) This is probably the 4th or 5th time he’s spent his vacation week away from his kids and me, during our marriage. But he loves his kids and would do anything for them! And he left them each a present while he blows $700 in Mexico on his family (his real family, I’ve taken to calling them).
I know other people’s issues are so much worse, but I wish I could let all his relatives know what a jerk he is, and can’t. I guess they think that is a normal thing to do, anyway, and wouldn’t care. I’m just feeling no holiday spirit now and don’t know how to keep going. I want to run away from my problems, too, but I always have the responsibility of everything. And feel so stupid for wasting 20 years and trying to reconcile with someone who obviously never loved me or his children. The idea that we were just appliances to him is very apt.
My ex was also a disordered f*wad, but my hubby’s ex was worse!
1. A man she was chatting with on-line threatened to rape her and her daughter. She panicked, called the police and then tried to overdose when she got caught cheating.
2. Had lots of sex with anonymous men in the family minivan (same one she drove their kids around in- eewwww!) Even banged a guy for a laptop.
3. Now living with the heroin addict OM. She loves that he’s “thrifty” because he asks for extra lettuce on his Subway sandwich to “save it for making a salad later on”.
There’s so much more… you can’t make this stuff up!