UBT: Adele’s “Hello”

ZombieclosureDear Chump Lady,

Under the influence of Chump Nation, I’ve been listening to Adele’s incessant “Hello” and realize it’s the ballad of a cheater kibble fishing with an old chump but the chump is all the way to meh and so narcissist cheater is throwing a little pity party. Is this how everyone else hears the song?

Thanks for reading,

N

Dear N,

I’m so glad you asked me! Yes, “Hello” is a relationship autopsy put to song. Reverence for Adele aside, I find the popularity of Hello inexplicable. (If you want to hear a GENIUS kibble fishing song, go no further — “Reconsider Me” sung by Johnny Adams. You should all listen to Johnny Adams immediately and forever more. Here at your door/Like a sparrow with a broken wing/Who’s come back to beg you/Reconsider me! Did you listen? Adele WHO? Am I right?)

Lugubrious. Overwrought. Yes, you are entirely correct that Hello is the ballad of a heart-breaking jerk fishing for kibble with an old chump.

Hello, it’s me
I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time’s supposed to heal ya
But I ain’t done much healing
Hello, can you hear me
I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
There’s such a difference between us
And a million miles
Hello from the other side
I must have called a thousand times
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore
Hello, how are you?

How am I? MOVED ON. (Not much of a song…)

Relationship autopsies, closure, whatever you want to call it, are a DREADFUL idea. When something is dead, let it be dead. If you KNOW something is dead, you don’t poke it with a stick. You only poke dead things with a stick if a) You’re not sure it’s dead and you want it to wake up or b) You like to torture and defile dead things.

If it was dead and it wakes up? It’s a zombie — and we’ve all seen enough of the Walking Dead to know the dangers of inciting a zombie apocalypse. DON’T DO IT, PEOPLE!

But since you asked, N, I thought the Universal Bullshit Translator could have a go at Hello.

Hello, it’s me
I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet

Hello, it’s me, I need a new chump.

When people successfully avoid you for years, you can reasonably ascertain that no, they would not like to meet you.

To go over everything

The way you stomped my heart to smithereens? And humiliated me? And laughed at my dancing? And kicked my dog? And gave my favorite sweater to your new fuckbuddy? And stole years from my life?

Oh yes. I’d like’d to review that. Let’s press those misty-watercolored memories in the family Bible with wildflowers. Let’s scrapbook that shit! SAID NO ONE EVER.

They say that time’s supposed to heal ya
But I ain’t done much healing

Yes, disordered fuckwits generally tend to stay that way.

Hello, can you hear me
I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet

Please stay in California.

There’s such a difference between us

I’m a disordered fuckwit and you’re a still a chump, I hope.

And a million miles

It’s lonely on Planet Narcissist. I need more satellites. 

Hello from the other side
I must have called a thousand times

Nine hundred and ninety nine hang-ups and you still can’t take a clue?

To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done

Nothing conveys my apologies like batter-ramming your boundaries. I shall demonstrate my sorry by failing to respect your privacy with my 1,000th phone call!

But when I call you never seem to be home

I’m indifferent to your boundaries AND I’m dim.

Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore

I’m a sad sausage, outside, shivering, with my sniffly little nose pressed up against the windowpane of your new moved-on-without-me life. Oh how I wish I could tear you apart again. Kibbles! Woe! The loss of kibbles!

Hello, how are you?

Perfectly fine without you.

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Uneffingbelievable
Uneffingbelievable
8 years ago

“Never seem to be home”. No, no, no honey, that’s just the song we chumps created for cheating assholes – it’s called a dial tone. The lyrics go like this: “Blow Me”.

FreefromSkankBoy
FreefromSkankBoy
8 years ago

UFB….Hahahahahahahaha….that made my day!

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago

Uneffin!!! LOVE IT!!!! Wish I had a ring tone like that!!! BLOW ME!

…before I blocked satan…a picture of him passed out in a chair with the name ASSHOLE (all in caps) came up…and the ring tone was an angry duck quackin HEHEHEHEHEHE!!!

…it helped me remember HE SUCKS! 😀

‘Blow Me’ hehehehe!!!! LOVE IT!

Unsinkable MollyXinAlabama
Unsinkable MollyXinAlabama
8 years ago
Reply to  Jeep

Hahahahahhaaaa….my ex’s name on my phone is of course, The Evil One, and his ringtone is that country song, “cheater cheater”… His ID pic is of the ” bird”

Fifi
Fifi
8 years ago

Cheater, cheater is a great song, Unsinkable! Joey & Rory do another fun one on that theme, “God Help My Man If He’s Fooling Around.”

SnakebitNoMore
SnakebitNoMore
8 years ago
Reply to  Jeep

In the unlikely event Snake calls me and I’m actually tempted to answer, this is his new ringtone…. Just a gentle reminder…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uvwGmRf5M8

Chris
Chris
8 years ago
Reply to  SnakebitNoMore

“Keep Away” is a good song.

But this one is a Scorned Chump anthem for Godsmack fans…. 🙂

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDvyaQzs2LI

OnTheMend
OnTheMend
8 years ago
Reply to  SnakebitNoMore

This video’s sponsor on my computer is beirresistable.com – a guide to what men secretly want and how we can be that person for them …. and the website creator is going to tell us if we give him money, it’s that simple! … barf!

NCStevie
NCStevie
8 years ago
Reply to  SnakebitNoMore

Great song, nice reminder!!

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  SnakebitNoMore

VERY nice SnakeBit!!!! Yep! NEVER misunderstand me!!!!

satan KEPT misunderstanding me till I texted STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU SICK FUCK!

…that seemed to do it 😀 If he is driving round my new little house anymore I DON’T notice!!!!

Fifi
Fifi
8 years ago
Reply to  SnakebitNoMore

Oh, I do like me some metal now and then. I want this ringtone for Lying Cheater’s number. Yay! BTW, that Adele song is dreck.

Wow33
Wow33
8 years ago
Reply to  Jeep

His name on my phone is “crispy ass clown” and the picture I have for him on my phone is a pics butt:)))
Can’t wait to change phone numbers in a few years ones my youngest turns 18 and DELETE his sorry ass!!!

retreatism
retreatism
8 years ago
Reply to  Wow33

// , You can actually change your phone number now, if you use Google Voice. Let me know if you’re interested in directions for how to handle this.

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  Wow33

😀 whatever works to trust that THEY SUCK right 😀

Hehehehehehehehe!!!! Once I had his ring tone set as a dog barking…:D…for some reason he came in the back of the house and called me and heard it…told me to get fucked! Wha????? Flabbergasted me he would be sooooo sensitive after all he had done to me…asshole!

They only care about themselves…we are so much better off without these disordered assholes!

NCStevie
NCStevie
8 years ago
Reply to  Jeep

Bwahahahaha ^^^^ pure awesomeness Jeep!!!

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  NCStevie

😀 Hehehehe NCStevie!

I was thinkin this morning – as I was enjoying the sunrise with my Beau (rescue dog – Chocolate Lab) in my new home (Haven) that I am SOOOO BLESSED to be here, living free of a man (I use that term LOOSELY) that used my love for him to abuse me mentally, emotionally, physically and financially…

I think I am the winner here!

tahitibound
tahitibound
8 years ago
Reply to  Jeep

It’s the little things that make this shit bearable Jeep. My X is unusually tall and awkward so there is a picture of Lurch as his phone photo. And his name is now Lurch Asshat, his father is Darth Vader with a picture too. It makes me happy.

ChumpB
ChumpB
8 years ago
Reply to  tahitibound

Mine is Cheater POS

LadyStrange
LadyStrange
8 years ago
Reply to  tahitibound

Jackass is Darth Vader on my phone too :-). I’m thinking about changing it to Bozo the Clown or Anthony Weiner.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
8 years ago
Reply to  LadyStrange

My ex is called Fucking Liar Sociopath on my phone.

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

LOVE THAT GladIt’sOver!!!! How APPROPRIATE!!!!

hEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!!

Narc assholes!!!!!

Mightymom23boys
Mightymom23boys
8 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

Mine is Pig Vomit

donna
donna
8 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

Mine is asshole.

Over and Out
Over and Out
8 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

Mine is Dickhead….

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago

+ 1, thanks UFB, I can’t stop laughing!

Roaring
Roaring
8 years ago

Hahahaha

Supreme Chump
Supreme Chump
8 years ago

You’re not alone in your thoughts about this song. After I really heard the lyrics my first thought was this is a song about someone who shit all over her SO and can’t handle her guilt and the fact that her former SO doesn’t give her a thought.

ANC
ANC
8 years ago
Reply to  Supreme Chump

These were the thoughts I had when I first heard that song. How fucking entitled of the idiot to assume the chump gives even half a fuck. I pretty much said that to asshat about this song, adding if someone did this to me I would hang up…I don’t have caller ID.

As if this plea for redemption is even something a chump cares about after years of NC. It’s a self serving message to cheaters that if you make this song your mantra, you must be a super sensitive, self aware fucktard. I think Adele needs to end the last stanza with how she’s in therapy to manage her narcissism.

Lovedandlost
Lovedandlost
8 years ago

Much better song is “Run” by Nicole Scherzinger!

Uneffingbelievable
Uneffingbelievable
8 years ago
Reply to  Lovedandlost

Great song by the English Beat – “I Confess”. First line:

“Just out of spite, I confess I ruined three lives. Don’t sleep so tight, I didn’t care til I found out that one of them was mine.”

It’s the narcissists anthem! (Great song, though!)

NCStevie
NCStevie
8 years ago

I have never heard of The English Beat until now, I’m checking all these songs out. Wow.

Unsinkable MollyXinAlabama
Unsinkable MollyXinAlabama
8 years ago
Reply to  NCStevie

Same here, Stevie!!! A new soundtrack for me as I drive to MEH-ville!!!!

ChumpB
ChumpB
8 years ago

Since we are sharing meaningful music, here’s a really good one by Beck called Lost Cause:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkNa5xzOe5U

NCStevie
NCStevie
8 years ago
Reply to  NCStevie

Definitely a fan of Tenderness 🙂

srfrgrl
srfrgrl
8 years ago

Holy shit! I love English Beat and didn’t even catch that. So then I listened to “Save It For Later” and of course “Mirror In The Bathroom”. All those songs refer to narcissism! Crazy!

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
8 years ago
Reply to  srfrgrl

Mirror in the Bathroom should be my ex’s personal anthem. Maybe it is.

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  GladIt'sOver

Here’s a great one by Johnny Lang! Love this!!! Perfect way to describe our flight to freedom from the disordered assholes!!!

Walking Away

Jonny Lang

You can cry
But don’t cry for me
I can’t take it no more
That’s the way it must be
You can’t lie
You’re way back in
Back into my heart
I won’t let it be broken again
I took a tumble
I started to stumble
That’s when I fell
Into a love
A thought came from above
I was under your spell
The things that mattered
Were broken and shattered
One by one
I was so sad
But now I’m glad
It’s over and over
There’s just one more thing
That I want to say
I truly loved you
But now I’m walking away
I put no one above you
That’s why I’m walking away

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uS13OrMi1h0

chumptotheend
chumptotheend
8 years ago
Reply to  Jeep

Love Johnny Lang! and the blues in general.

Jayne
Jayne
8 years ago
Reply to  srfrgrl

OMG sfrgl – I thought I was the only person in the world who remembered ‘Mirror In the Bathroom’ – one of my all time faves – just been listening to it on youtube! Just love the sax on that track – and can’t get enough of that ska beat!

Uneffingbelievable
Uneffingbelievable
8 years ago
Reply to  Jayne

I have video on my phone of “I Confess” – wish I knew how to put it on here for you guys!

Jayne
Jayne
8 years ago
Jayne
Jayne
8 years ago
Reply to  Jayne

… I’ve never heard it before and a bit shocked this came from the same band who did ‘Mirror In The Bathroom’!

Uneffingbelievable
Uneffingbelievable
8 years ago
Reply to  Jayne

Thanks, Jayne! Like I said I went to see them a few weeks ago. Dave Wakeling’s voice is exactly like it was in the ’80s! They tour quite a bit so if you get the chance, go see them!

Uneffingbelievable
Uneffingbelievable
8 years ago
Reply to  srfrgrl

LOVE The English Beat! Just saw them a few weeks ago. Save It For Later – classic! But then they write “Tenderness” (General Public). Go figure!

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
8 years ago
Reply to  Lovedandlost

@Loved–thanks for turning me onto “Run”…..I just googled the video. Not only is Nicole lovely, so is the song (even if the subject matter sucks) 🙂

It has just become my latest ‘earworm’.

Nicole S
Nicole S
8 years ago
Reply to  Hesatthecurb

This song is like an instruction manual in how to deal with a disordered creep. It seems like half of the songs on the radio are about cheating or being cheated on. I like Gwen Stefani’s new song “Used to Love You” because it is pretty real for the newly chumped and touches on that anger we all have BUT I cannot understand why she is dating a cheater. Blake Shelton cheated on his wife to be with Miranda. Run Gwen run!

Chumpita
Chumpita
8 years ago
Reply to  Nicole S

Thanks I´m adding “Run” to my recovery playlist that I made on youtube a few weeks after Dday…the good thing is I don´t need to listen to it anymore but it might help someone else.

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
8 years ago

Yeah, my ex tried this rehashing bid about two years post divorce and after I was remarried. What went wrong isn’t unclear is what I told her and that I would not be meeting as I had a new family. The reality is that they just can’t accept reality–ie they blew up the relationship by cheating. They want to blame the chump and control the narrative STILL!

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago

I remember you talking about that before DM, it was incredible. I thought: well this is a new low, DM’s cheater is a closure bully — insanely insisting that a meeting must occur to discuss What Happened after the chump has dealt with it alone and has finally moved on. How pathetic. They really do try to use our best qualities against us, must drive them crazy that they cannot feel anything but self-pity and rage,

Feistypants
Feistypants
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

Not gonna lie, part of me wanted to have that meeting so I could show up and put her in her place. I don’t get the name “feisty” for nothin’! 😉

ChumpB
ChumpB
8 years ago
Reply to  Feistypants

Yes, I have some fantasies of that Fiesty but I love reading this blog today and knowing that it’s time likely just providing kibbles, which I refuse to do.

little red riding hood
little red riding hood
8 years ago

As soon as I heard this song it made me think of my ex narc, I know that the day will come when he wants to catch up, say sorry or fish for the hell of it…thank god for no communication, it has given me peace from the mind fuck of narc and his flying monkeys.

ChumpB
ChumpB
8 years ago

Yes, little red riding hood. Agree wholeheartedly!

Cheaterssuck
Cheaterssuck
8 years ago

Divorce= all the closure I need thank you very much!

Michael.
Michael.
8 years ago
Reply to  Cheaterssuck

Yep. If divorce doesn’t get it through their skull nothing will. New phone number, new email. Done deal.

Cakepop3
Cakepop3
8 years ago
Reply to  Cheaterssuck

Amen to that. We just need to keep this in mind:When the past calls, let it go to voicemail, it has nothing new to say.

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  Cakepop3

Nice Cakepop3!!!! Trust that is absolutely correct!!!

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago
Reply to  Cakepop3

Yes, when the past calls don’t answer. Nothing but sorrow lies in that direction.

Moving on
Moving on
8 years ago

THANK YOU. I thought it was just me hating on this stupid song. Nailed it!!!

Unsinkable MollyXinAlabama
Unsinkable MollyXinAlabama
8 years ago
Reply to  Moving on

Yep, I can’t even listen to it either, from the minute I heard it, I thought, “Nope!!!” And switched the channel.

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
8 years ago
Reply to  Moving on

This song pisses me off. Thanks for the UBTranslation, CL!

PF
PF
8 years ago

The lyrics speak of a cheater who went to the grass is greener trip. Years later the green grass dried up and the cheater misses that chump from the old days and surely that chump still exists pining away for sparkly cheater.

Cheater ego can’t figure out why after 1000 calls chump ain’t picking up the phone. Most likely chump is in the process of a obtaining a retraining order on the nut job ex cheater.

The irony in the music video, cheater is still using a flip phone, cheater must be too broke for a new phone.

On a personal note…I got a similar call recently, my preying mantis ex-wife has tried to reach out to me. Fat bald meat eating gun slinging new husband kicked her vegan neon yoga wearing vegan ass out the door and is divorcing her. Yep….she cheated on him……namaste y’all.

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

Thanks for sharing PF!
It’s always good to now the karma bus is still out there making its rounds so I don’t give up hope.

newchumpatl
newchumpatl
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

Fat bald meat eating gun slinging new husband kicked her vegan neon yoga wearing vegan ass out the door and is divorcing her. Yep….she cheated on him……namaste y’all

LOLLOL!!!!!!! That made my day. Namaste indeed. LOL

Michael.
Michael.
8 years ago
Reply to  newchumpatl

+1!

Fifi
Fifi
8 years ago
Reply to  Michael.

Me too, loving it!

PF
PF
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Suddenly, she despises Texas, wants move back to my state. It seems Texans don’t appreciate her unique qualities. She believes she didn’t fail Texas but that Texas failed her.

She’s broke, Texan soon be ex husband had a pre-nup. She gave up my alimony to marry her rich doctor.

Karma is sweet.

Roberta
Roberta
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

Wow! PF, my cheating Ex assholes relationship blew up in about 3 months after our divorce! I know you are enjoying the karma bus having visited! It’s absolutely great! These fuckwits get what they deserve! My advice, buy a large dog that bites and tie it to your front door! YOU KNOW she’s going to circle around again, get ready! Mine did!

RNE Unicorn Hunter
RNE Unicorn Hunter
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

Best thing I’ve read all week! Hope you’re grabbing your bowl of popcorn and sitting back enjoying the warm flames from the karma bus crash. Lol.

stevie729
stevie729
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

Karma served promptly and deservedly. That’s awesome!! I can only hope for this kind of karma!! Fingers crossed.

Amazing how truly shitty these disordered assholes are in the loving parent role and how they actually convince themselves that they are “good” parents.

They simply refuse to look at their lives. They know the difference between right and wrong but don’t believe it applies to them.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

Enjoy every bit of schadenfreude from this sweet sweet Karma bus story, PF and thank you for sharing :)!

Uniquelyme
Uniquelyme
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

PF, you made my day! Karma mega bus hits again! Love it.

kb
kb
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

Wow, PF. She sure is a nutjob, and I bet that your life is so much better now, though I bet it would be even better if she’d just slink off someplace and not bother you with her latest drama. However, NPDs live drama, so I could see her sending you a copy of “Hello” just for old time’s sake, doncha know.

Congratulations on her being your ex! 🙂

PF
PF
8 years ago
Reply to  kb

She is seriously personality disordered. She left our state to marry the rich doctor, she moved away from her kids, the very kids she fought for 50/50 custody only to take off to marry a Texan. She rarely sees them, she thinks texting them and a 2 day fly and posting pics on her facebook with them means she’s a good Mom.

FreefromSkankBoy
FreefromSkankBoy
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

PY, trust that they suck!!! So, glad the karma bus can do 0-100 in a nanosecond! LOL!!!

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

My ex thinks he is a great parent because he actually put it on his social media descriptions. Seriously he wrote that about himself after blowing up his family and trying to take away the only home they had ever known.

unicornomore
unicornomore
8 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

I had a long ago boyfriend who chumped and dumped his family (4 little girls from what I heard)…I saw his FB page the other day and his new kibble dispense was pictured but no acknowledgement that he had ever fathered anyone. What an asshole. Before I shutdown deadhusbands FB, I noticed that he never mentioned me…how special.

PF
PF
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

2 day fly by…once a month or less if she wasn’t on one of her fun trips.

Elizabeth Lee
Elizabeth Lee
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

“She gave up my alimony to marry her rich doctor.

Karma is sweet.”

Bwaaaa haaaaa haaaaaa. Congratulations PF. I love that the nut-job cheater was enough of an idiot to sign a pre-nup and then cheat. Some people get what they deserve.

zyx321
zyx321
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

As CL said, that was fast.
And I know we all know that cheaters are stupid, but to give up alimony by getting remarried and then cheat when there was a prenup?!

notsurewhat2do
notsurewhat2do
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

Awesome!

PF
PF
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Ex-nut job wife has once again defiled innocent throw pillows.

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

??? …what is the story of the defiled throw pillows PF???? Will you retell it?

Pearshaped
Pearshaped
8 years ago
Reply to  Jeep

As I recall it, when confronted she grabbed the pillows and bit into them. More then once. It’s in the archives, but it’s been a while and I don’t remember when. Check them out! ‘Stupid shit cheaters do”, or one of her contests about the most memorable reactions. Like jumping down stairs in a sleeping bag to run away from confrontation. Just amazing.

PF
PF
8 years ago
Reply to  Pearshaped

Sorry Jeep for not responding sooner, just got off work.

As Pearhaped said, when I confronted my ex-wife with proof she went hysterical jumping from couch to couch in our living as she chomped on our throw pillows….it was surreal.

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

No worries PF 🙂 I’m glad you have a job! I need to find one!

That is insane! Wow!!! It’s as bad as satan meowing at me!!! Wha???

Their insanity is designed to keep us off balance!

Thank you Denver Girl! I will check it out.

denver_girl
denver_girl
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

December 8, 2014, Cheater Freak Contest…. Love the resulting cartoons in January 2015 that resulted.comment image

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  denver_girl

The cartoon is hilarious!!! LOL! Thank you!

NorthernLight
NorthernLight
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

This story still cracks me up every time I hear it. PF, And nice to hear the karma bus arrived for your ex and OM….

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago
Reply to  PF

Oh my, PF, I so enjoy hearing that the karma bus ran over your ex, backed up, and ran over her again. This story has made my day (as the throw pillow saga did so long ago)! Blessings to you and your throw pillows.

MovingOn
MovingOn
8 years ago

“Please stay in California.”

Ha ha! Or in the case of my ex, “Please move to California.” (Not to subject California Chumps to him– just to put him as far away from me as possible!)

ChumpDad
ChumpDad
8 years ago

Gotta love songs from the cheaters side…

I listen mostly to old music. The other day I heard this classic. I was suddenly reminded (revelation?) That my lying, cheating stepfather used to play this on his guitar.

John Denver- Leaving on a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed
I’m ready to go
I’m standin’ here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin’
It’s early morn
The taxi’s waitin’
He’s blowin’ his horn
Already I’m so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

There’s so many times I’ve let you down
So many times I’ve played around
I tell you now, they don’t mean a thing
Ev’ry place I go, I’ll think of you
Ev’ry song I sing, I’ll sing for you
When I come back, I’ll bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
I’ll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won’t have to leave alone
About the times, I won’t have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
‘Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But, I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

san
san
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpDad

I thought this song was for the guys that were going to Vietnam?

kb
kb
8 years ago
Reply to  san

san, I do believe that it refers to guys going off to Vietnam. It’s a mid-60s song, but the lines,” how many times I’ve played around/I tell you now,they don’t mean a thing” do reference cheating.

Other Kat
Other Kat
8 years ago
Reply to  kb

“Ev’ry place I go, I’ll think of you
Ev’ry song I sing, I’ll sing for you
When I come back, I’ll bring your wedding ring”

I always took these lines to mean that he’s about to hit the road again as a singer, where he’s had plenty of opportunities to play around but if she gives him one more pass, he’ll marry her this time, promise!

It’s one of the reasons why I love Peter, Paul, and Mary’s version, reconfiguring it so that, for a change, it’s a woman on the road cheating on her man. Not that either version per my interpretation is admirable, but I’ve always thought it was a beautiful song nonetheless. Though what can I say, I’m a chump!

conniered
conniered
8 years ago

I agree! While I love Adele, this song sucks. It IS a narc looking for kibbles. Leave him the F*&! alone. If you didn’t know what you had when the chump was there, you ain’t going to know years later and 1,000 unanswered calls later. Bye Felicia!!

Lucky
Lucky
8 years ago

You made my day!
I loath this song. I feel indifferent about Adele, but this song makes my hackles stand up each and every time I hear it.

Right from the beginning I felt it was about a narcasistic person trying to suck a poor chump back into their drama circle.

You haven’t given me kibbles for ages – where did you go?!?!
HELLO – this person has gone NC for a damned good reason.

Have a Bitch Cookie Adele!

Strad
Strad
8 years ago
Reply to  Lucky

From the lyrics I would say she would prefer CAKE

DeeL
DeeL
8 years ago

It’s lonely on Planet Narcissist.I need more satellites.

Hilarious!!!!!

Bitter, bitter chump not answering the phone so she can rehash things and hurt you again. Who doesn’t want that right???!!

ANR
ANR
8 years ago

Oh hey, Adele! “21” was constantly playing in my stbxw’s car (along with Lady fucking Antebellum) during what I now realize was the heyday of her fuckfest with her married, sociopathic boss. Thanks for the memories! (And yeah, Johnny Adams does this a million times better).

SueB
SueB
8 years ago
Reply to  ANR

Her boss?! Yikes! Haven’t people ever heard that you shouldn’t crap where you eat? Screwing around with your boss at a lot of places can be grounds for termination for both the employee and the boss, even if both people were single. Of course, if he is a sociopath, she is in for some serious karma being with him.

Buddy
Buddy
8 years ago
Reply to  ANR

One bad part about being too savvy an investigator was being privy to all “their” songs. Snippets of lyrics in texts back and forth about their true love, erotica, sex etc. Barf. Ruined a lot of good music for me.

Roxy Music, Joni Mitchell, Bruce Springsteen, Tweedy, The Eagles, … I could go on and on.

Barf.

How a person could choose someone who steals lyrics over the husband who provides, supports, parent, loves truly, give is BEYOND ME. (utsofu)

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
8 years ago
Reply to  Buddy

Shallowness….

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
8 years ago
Reply to  ANR

Adele is a sore spot for me too, ANR. When I stumbled upon their schmoopie emails, bimbo wrote out the lyrics to Adele’s, “Turning Tables.” It was checkmate, since that move solidified X’s two wuv for her.

I still change stations when I hear any Adele songs from that whole album.

Uneffingbelievable
Uneffingbelievable
8 years ago

Okay – a response to “Hello” from a chump who is Meh . . . It’s called “Hell No!

“Hell No! Blow me. Quit stalking me for cake, I wouldn’t meet you on a dare. Nothing to go over.”

“They say times supposed to heal you. Sounds like you ain’t done much healing, you fucking Cluster B. ”

“Hell No! You’re in California? Thank god I’m in the Midwest. Now I know where to send the restraining order.”

“I’ve never forgotten you are unable to feel and you think the world should fall at you’re feet.”

“There’s such a difference between us (I’m not insane). Thank god for those million miles between us.”

“Hell No! From the bright side. I’ve deleted your calls a thousand times (stop already!). I am home and ignoring your shit.”

Hell No! Are you outside?!? I’ll have to call the cops. I won’t be sorry for breaking your face.”

“Yes, I doesn’t matter, you clearly don’t matter to me anymore.”

“Hell no! What ARE you?”

FreefromSkankBoy
FreefromSkankBoy
8 years ago

UFB…..OMG…..I can’t stop laughing!!! Fantastic!

Fifi
Fifi
8 years ago

I bow to you, I am not worthy! This is effing fantastic. I’m going to memorize it and sing it when that stupid song comes on the radio.

Peacefulchump
Peacefulchump
8 years ago

Omg uneffingbelieveable you have me cracking up. Thanks for the great laugh. I love the Hell No version!

LIningUpDucks
LIningUpDucks
8 years ago

Vast improvement!

Uneffingbelievable
Uneffingbelievable
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

This was so fun! Thanks for my morning laugh!

Flowerlady
Flowerlady
8 years ago

Uneffing . . . .that is so awesome. I was starting to attempt some new lyrics for the song, but you have done it!! Brilliant!

brit
brit
8 years ago

I can’t imagine my X getting in contact with me, he left and we have been NC except through expensive attorneys. My X is Satan, he hasn’t shown any regret. X takes pleasure in tormenting me and doing his best to destroy me.
On a lighter note…,
I’ve heard there are people who compare the song to one by Lionel Richie.
I think of Lionel Richie when ever I hear the Hello song by him and Adele.
The song reminds me of a morning at work .
regarding Lionel Richie and his Hello version. I think it’s amusing and in light of this song fitting. In the late 80’s I was working in an office in Southern California. One of the girls I worked with rushed in and proceeded to tell me room mate had come home early that morning flustered and upset. Her roommate was Lionels AP Mrs. Richie came home and caught them together in bed . She was almost been pulverized by Lionel Richie’s wife. They had been sleeping together when his wife had come home unexpectedly.

TiredChump
TiredChump
8 years ago
Reply to  brit

Google the Ellen Degeneres parody of this song which includes Lionel Richie
it is hilarious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTAJSuhgZxA

FreefromSkankBoy
FreefromSkankBoy
8 years ago
Reply to  TiredChump

Tired Chump….Hahahahahaha! Loved it!

Datdamwuf
Datdamwuf
8 years ago
Reply to  TiredChump

I loved that, Ellen rocks!

Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
8 years ago

And of course the next line is…

“It’s so typical of me to talk about myself”

Hmmmmmmmmmmm…. I wonder why that is?

“I’m sorry”

Sure you are.

“I hope that you’re well”

Sure you do.

Regina
Regina
8 years ago

I remember mine saying after cheating, “I will never give you up” as if I had no say so it the matter. I remember thinking who the F does he think he is?

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
8 years ago
Reply to  Regina

Mine prefers the phrase “I’ll always be in your life” which I perceive to be a threat the way he said it. So I just said “only until the children are grown” I swear the look on his face the first time I said it was priceless, like he had not thought of that.

Lyn
Lyn
8 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

My ex said “We’re not leaving each others’ lives. We’re still going to have lots of fun with the boys and their lovely ladies.” (Both our children had just gotten married). What the hell? What’s with the “lovely ladies?” It made me wonder if he was planning to hit on them too.

kar marie
kar marie
8 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

Asswipe tells me it will fuck up the rest of his life and ruin any future relationships he may have if I up and disappear and not ever speak to him again. Seriously is he kidding me! What the fuck!? It would be stupid and silly of me to deny him the pleasure that is me. My feelings are stupid and silly because he doesn’t have any feelings. Just a huge black hole where a heart should be. We can still be best friends and hang out and have sex. What the fuck is wrong with assholes like these?

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  kar marie

Kar marie satan tried to see me after divorce was final…I texted asshole, ‘I will NEVER be one of your OW’s, fuck buddies or FRIEND EVER…

asshole replied, ‘copy’.

Wha????!!! CL is right…no sense tryin to make sense of the senseless idiots…

Regina
Regina
8 years ago
Reply to  Jeep

I figured CN heard a lot of this drivel as well. After all, the Cheaters got their script and persona at Central Casting. That has been one of the most absurd but comforting things I have learned here at CN!! We could throw them all in a bag, shake them up & pass them back out to strangers and the script, head space and character shortages would be the same. Kinda creepy.

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
8 years ago
Reply to  Regina

HaHaHa Nice visual!!

Little Mighty Me
Little Mighty Me
8 years ago

The video director and Adele have explained the song/video as a woman actually talking to her younger self, not to an ex. Hence the flip phone – in those scenes, she is actually talking to her past self. She’s calling the past, her younger self, and attempting to apologize for making all the bad choices which crushed the younger self’s dreams and led her down a path which does not honor who she was and what she really wanted.

But I think CL is right, and the explanation is just dramatic drivel attempting to make a cheater song into something artistic and meaningful.

violet
violet
8 years ago

I think Adele was the one who was cheated on. She actually is a very humble person, not a narc at all, from what little I know of her. The song “Rolling in the Deep” cuts close to the bone for those of us who thought we had a good marriage. “We almost had it all…”

Little Mighty Me
Little Mighty Me
8 years ago
Reply to  violet

@ violet

I agree with you. I don’t think this is a cheater song – I think Adele got cheated on. No one could listen to her album “21” and come away thinking she hadn’t gotten cheated on 🙂 She’s been very private about the whole thing (never named anyone or dropped details), but she’s been public about how she wrote that album in the three-month period after a terrible breakup.

I never heard the song “Hello” until I linked to the video of it through an article I was reading in which Adele herself stated the story behind the song – that she wrote it to herself, the “other” self she used to be and lost forever after SHE allowed her true self to be lost within a relationship she tried to save for too long…the result of that heartbreak being the album “21” and her skyrocketing to fame, changing her life (and herself) forever. I heard the song the first time from that link, and having already been primed for it, I thought it was beautiful, haunting, and completely understandable. Now I can “only” hear it that way, so I don’t pick up on the cheater-y hoovering vibe, even though I can see how it fits and could be a narcissist anthem – lol!

spiritwoman
spiritwoman
8 years ago

Adele’s 21 was an album that expressed most of my anguish, pain, and eventual perserverance. She actually gets it, I just got the new 25 album and I took away a completely different meaning than some have perceived. So, I will try to abstain but I do believe we often hear lyrics “meaning” based on the experiences we have had or are currently relating to at the time. Many songs that I listened to and know by heart from even 20yrs ago can now have a astounding difference when I sing along. Just my opinion!

divorceat25
divorceat25
8 years ago
Reply to  violet

I don’t think the song is necessarily about cheating, and it was definitely written with other people so it doesn’t have to be autobiographical. This post is not a personal attack on Adele, just looking at the lyrics for what they say.

When you do someone wrong and they move on and you call them “1000 times” to “go over everything” that’s still a shitty move. If you wrong someone and they move on, you need to deal! They are officially out of your sphere of influence and no one owes you an explanation about what they do with their life after you break their heart.

This song is 100% about trying to Hoover-in someone who is at “Meh”.

Hesatthecurb
Hesatthecurb
8 years ago
Reply to  violet

I agree with you Violet. From what I gleaned early on in Adele’s career, she had been previously subjected to quite a bit of relationship pain, hence her ability to write such compelling songs as “Rolling in the Deep”….I don’t think she has cheating in her but she would be able to write from a cheater’s perspective as she knows how they would operate. That was how I took “Hello”….

Lyn
Lyn
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Maybe it’s about an ex that tried to call her?

Brit
Brit
8 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

I read a short bio of her life from what I read her Dad was a Cheater and abandoned her when she was a child. I have also heard she has had a bad relationship and that’s how she came up with the songs on her previous album.

ChumptyDumpty
ChumptyDumpty
8 years ago

How funny that people are so dumb as to interpret this as a cheater apology; thank God Adelle & her producer clarified it for us. BAHAHA!!
They should take a few more classes in artistic interpretation before their next venture. Maybe artsy-craftsy Tony Romo can start them off with Crownies 101.

Cheaterssuck
Cheaterssuck
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumptyDumpty

LOL! Don’t be that Tony Romo!

LilyBart
LilyBart
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

We sometimes do. Is that wrong of us? 😉

Dr. I Can't Believe I'm a Chump
Dr. I Can't Believe I'm a Chump
8 years ago

I don’t know. . . That’s not how I heard it, but I can see how it could be interpreted that way.

Not a big Adele fan, but I found “Rolling in the Deep” to be my Rocky theme song during divorce.

http://mic.com/articles/127285/meaning-of-adeles-hello#.wuksnG93M

Dr. I Can't Believe I'm a Chump
Dr. I Can't Believe I'm a Chump
8 years ago

Maybe I am just being a Pollyanna. Maybe it is because I didn’t see the music video. Is there anybody with me? Sunshine? Buttercups?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/adele-talks-about-her-son-hello-the-today-show_5665d07ee4b072e9d1c6dee7

Portia
Portia
8 years ago

I saw the music video, and it influenced my interpretation of the song — I felt like she was talking to someone in her past, too. The impression I got was that she was remembering a past relationship, and that she felt remorse for the way she acted in her past, and that she would have liked for whatever happened to have been different, that she felt she had not honored the relationship the way she should have, and it had ended badly. I also felt like something had happened to trigger her memory — maybe her partner had even died, and she regretted not calling and at least saying “I’m sorry.” I took “Hello from the other side” to be speaking across the great divide, that the partner was dead, in some way, to her — maybe literally. I didn’t take the 1,000 calls literally — but that she had intended to call, but didn’t, for whatever reason. Maybe it was too hard, maybe too much water under the bridge?

I have two sons — and I would not speak to them like this. This definitely feels like a more personal, love song to me. I don’t take her as being a cheater, necessarily, but that she felt remorse for her actions in the relationship. I do believe some people have true remorse. (Not Narcissists, of course. ) Maybe I just like Adele, and I definitely love her voice. Her song’s are not easy to sing, she takes risks, and she carries them off. Maybe I am just putting my own feelings in another person’s song — but a lot of folks have a relationship in their past where they feel that the other person was “the One that got away.”

There are other reasons relationships end besides cheating — Rolling in the Deep lyric is easy for me to associate with cheating. Hello seems to me to be about regret. Maybe because I have several, and though I don’t dwell on the past, I sometimes stroll down memory lane.

If you want to talk about regret and fear of regret — think about Baby’s line in Dirty Dancing “. . .most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.” That could possibly be Chump Anthem material.

Lyn
Lyn
8 years ago
Reply to  Portia

Awesome interpretation, Portia!

justchumped
justchumped
8 years ago

I knew there was something about this song that IRKED me!!!

HeartChump
HeartChump
8 years ago

Well done CL. honestly from the first moment i heard it, i felt the song was… Just… BLAH. And now i am going to giggle everytime i hear it: HELLO AKA STUPID SHIT CHEATERS SAY BY ADELE.

Chumpman
Chumpman
8 years ago

Found on the net….

When An Affair Ends a Marriage

I found this article that I thought I would share with you all. It was written by a marriage and family therapist.

What Happens When an Affair Ends a Marriage?

These days, nobody’s social circle is without someone who’s gotten, getting, or about to get a divorce. The impact of divorce looms so large–or perhaps it’s so commonplace–that it’s easy to ignore how it comes about.

A couple I know is in the middle of a divorce. In this case, one partner moved out suddenly, filed for divorce, and “quickly” took a lover. All indications point to the prior existence of a hidden affair.

In this situation, our hearts go out to the partner who remains monogamous. We understand their feelings of humiliation, envisioning themselves as the butt of derision from the trysting couple–or as the object of scorn from neighbors and coworkers. Overwhelmed by a potent mixture of anger, guilt, and wounded narcissism, they’re often kept afloat by the solace and support of caring friends. The faithful spouse is perceived as the more disadvantaged, almost without fail. After all, the other partner is now comfortably ensconced in a new relationship.

PATTERNS OF FALLING OUT As a sex and marital therapist, I’ve seen lots of marriages dissolve in this pattern, and it has changed how I focus my efforts to help both partners. For all the emotional turmoil monogamous spouses endure, I’ve also known them to emerge from this situation in better emotional shape than they’ve ever enjoyed before. Not so for the spouse who “found someone new” before separating from their current partner, all the while lying about it.

While the pain of the monogamous spouse is immediate and apparent, the fallout for the adulterous spouse is usually longer in coming and less predictable–until you understand what’s going on.

PATHS TO GROWTH Some people become richer, fuller, happier human beings by staying in their marriages; others accomplish this by getting divorced. But I’ve never seen growth occur when someone continues an extramarital affair while ending their marriage.

“I’ve outgrown you”–sugar-coated as “We’ve grown apart”–is often the stated reason for the split. They may look like they’re standing on their own two feet, or even standing up to their spouse, but when there’s an extramarital affair going on, it only seems that way. Such behavior is a charade of independence, integrity and personal growth, not the real thing. The departing spouse isn’t just holding onto a “new” partner while they let go of the other; more often, they’re leaning on the new partner because they can’t or won’t stand up–or hold onto–themselves.

Although real efforts towards autonomy may get worked out in the new relationship, that’s not often the basis on which the new partner is selected. The spiffy new relationship frequently lacks sufficient resilience and motivation to support the tough struggles of self-development and bonding. But neither spouse appreciates this while they’re divvying up the household.

MAKING A HEALTHY BREAK Getting out of your marriage is one thing; how you go about it is another. Using an affair as a support system or transitional process is often like leaning on a rubber crutch. It offers the least benefit to people who have difficulty standing on their own two feet. Yes, some people find this is the only way they can “make the break.” But in that case, what looks like an act of autonomy and growth is really pseudo-maturity–which actually interferes with personal development while masquerading as the real thing.

The bottom line: If you’ve got to go, use different advice for extramarital affairs than you do for your credit cards: “Make sure you leave home without one.”

spiritwoman
spiritwoman
8 years ago
Reply to  Chumpman

Pretty much a perfect synopsis of the way my marriage ended. Comes down to him being a coward, he once told me that she would fix everything wrong with his life. Uh Huh! 😉

Regina
Regina
8 years ago
Reply to  Chumpman

Chumpman-good points in this article, thanks,

2kids2love
2kids2love
8 years ago
Reply to  Chumpman

BOY, does this describe my world Chumpman, right down to the “We’ve grown apart.” It’s been a year now. I’m still alone and he is slowly inserting her into the many things he and I enjoyed together. I have said from day one…he would not have left me if he didn’t have someone else to latch on to. He cannot be alone. In fact, he never was. Not before me and now, not after me. It’s been painful. I’m better, but not at meh. I think Tuesday is close and then bam…back to Wednesday. Call me mean, I don’t want him to be happy with her. And at times, all indications are that they are meant to be together. I’m going to keep this article to refer to when I’m down in the dumps. It might help me believe his life sucks, at least until I get to meh when it doesn’t matter anymore.Thanks for sharing.

yo
yo
8 years ago
Reply to  Chumpman

“Wounded by…guilt and wounded narcissism?” Guilt? And Narcissism? Is this in reference to the Chump…or the guilty narcissist?

yo
yo
8 years ago
Reply to  yo

Sorry Meh Meant ” overwhelmed by…”

NCStevie
NCStevie
8 years ago

I am a fan…a HUGE Adelle fan….and I have yet to listen to this song in it’s entirety once…

“At least I can say that I’ve tried….to say that I’m sorry for breaking your heart….”

Ummmmm….F’ckoff…..and this is about the time I start pushing buttons looking for another station.

I know it’s just a song but who would give a shit “years” down the road after you’ve successfully navigated the destruction?

TheClip
TheClip
8 years ago

Pink is my girl…
‘ Made a wrong turn once or twice . Dug my way out, blood and fire. Bad decisions , thats alright. Welcome to my silly life!’
Pink kicks ass.

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
8 years ago
Reply to  TheClip

Yeah, PINK!

“Most girls want a man with the bling bling
Got my own thing, got the ching ching
I just want real love”

stevie729
stevie729
8 years ago
Reply to  TheClip

LOVE LOVE LOVE PINK!! She is one badass chick!!

Maree
Maree
8 years ago
Reply to  TheClip

Agreed Clip, I love Pink also and I am an old girl !! I love her singing ‘Who Knew’.

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago
Reply to  Maree

Yes, and it’s interesting, I used to be unable to listen to “Who Knew” before my D-Day, it just made me indescribably sad. After D-Day, it made perfect and absolute sense. It’s like my gut instincts knew what was coming even if I consciously did not.

HM
HM
8 years ago

This is so perfect and completely encapsulates my experience.

“Relationship autopsies…are a DREADFUL idea.”

Yes, yes and yes. My ex contacted me nonstop for 2 years after we split. He constantly wanted to “HEAL”…oh, and help me HEAL too (wasn’t that nice of him??).

In fact, his last communication was actually an apology – he noted, that no matter what I had done in our relationship, I hadn’t deserved to be treated like that. Wasn’t that nice of him? Apologizing for the behavior that I apparently compelled him into.

Yeah, fuck off.

“Nothing conveys my apologies like batter-ramming your boundaries.”

This too. I told him to fuck off for two years and his response was to harass me. I finally threatened him with police action. In his apology email he finally said, “I promise you won’t hear from me again, I have nothing left to say.” – Not, I will finally respect your boundaries and wishes now…

Whatever, like CL says “I’m perfectly fine without you”.

Lothos
Lothos
8 years ago

Wow, I never thought of the song that way but it makes perfect sense. I will never be able to listen to the song again with ought thinking of this UBT.

Drew
Drew
8 years ago

Love Adele’s voice but Hello is a crappy song. Music heals though. Alanis Morrisette’s Jagged Little Pill, Phil Collins’ In The Air, and Patty Griffin’s Goodbye and Peter Pan were my favs in those early dark days. And there are so many kick ass songs, Fighter by Christina Aguilera, etc. Live music is best though, I have attended more concerts (KOL, Poalo Nutini, The Black Keys, Citizen Cope) and festivals divorced than I had in twenty years married. Gain a life indeed 😉

ItsAJourney
ItsAJourney
8 years ago

For the first 2 years after Dday I could hardly listen to the radio because about 1 in 4 songs is about cheating. I realized that there’s a huge difference between belting out the lyrics, and understanding the lyrics, which can kill the appeal of any song!

Adel’s “Hello” seems rather tame compared to many of the songs I grew up joyfully singing. The pina colada song comes to mind: Escape, by Rupert Holmes. Remember that little ditty? A married couple in a boring, lifeless marriage, and both of them are looking for affair partners. It sounded great in the shower, or a moving car, but lost it’s luster two years ago!

Sunny
Sunny
8 years ago
Reply to  ItsAJourney

That pina colada song has always had a creepy stalker vibe to me, ’cause it seems like she wants to escape but no matter where she tries to go, he’s always there and she can’t even find a way out. And Stockholm Syndrome too, ’cause she’s been treated so bad she wants to bail too, but in the end she gives up and stays ’cause she’s cornered. OMFG, so triggered right now. AND IT’S A POPULAR SONG AT WEDDINGS. Totally can’t understand that. Blows my mind that it was such a hit song.

Lyn
Lyn
8 years ago
Reply to  ItsAJourney

When I was married I felt like Dave Matthews was singing about my life with “Grey Street.” It perfectly captured how I felt.

Oh look at how she listens
She says nothing of what she thinks
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out onto Grey Street
But she thinks hey
How did I come to this
I dreamed myself a million times around the world
But I can’t get out of this place

Oh, there’s an emptiness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart

Oh how she wishes it was different
She prays to God most every night
And though she swears he doesn’t listen
There’s still a hope in her he might
She says I pray
But all of my prayers fall on deaf ears
Am I supposed to take it on myself
To get out of this place

Oh there’s a loneliness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now,
It feels like cold blue ice in her heart
When all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart

There’s a stranger speaks outside her door
Says take what you can from your dreams
Make them as real as anything
Oh it’d take the work out of courage
But she says please
There’s a crazy man that’s creeping outside my door
I live on the corner of Grey Street
And the end of the world

Oh there’s an emptiness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now,
It’s more like cold blue ice in her heart
She feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life
She could change everything about her
Using colors bold and bright
But all the colors mix together
To grey, and it breaks her heart
Oh it breaks her heart
To grey

moving forward
moving forward
8 years ago

CL, this is too funny today. Everytime I hear this song it reminds me of a former bpd boyfriend and his drunk ramblings. He used to say “I am so far away”…when I wasn’t.

This song could be used in an iPhone commercial to promote their call and text block features, lol.

Not sure if it applies to narcissists – because they aren’t sorry!

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
8 years ago

On one of his first (known) cheating attempts in our relationship, my ex pulled a “Hello” with his last girlfriend. We had been together probably 6 or 7 years by then, and I knew that he had cheated on her with another woman but that she never found out. (For the record, I was NOT an OW. Their relationship had been over for better than a year when we met, and we lived in a different state.) When we first got together, he gave me what I now know to be the cheater sob story: she was needy, emotionally blackmailed him, wanted to force him into a life that he didn’t want, she didn’t really love him she just wanted a husband, he was traumatized by the whole ordeal, blah de fuckin’ blah. Chumpy me in my mid-20s thought it meant that he saw me as the antithesis of those things and that I was somehow better, special, and that I was exactly who he had been looking for (which he said).

Fast forward 6 or 7 years, and I discovered a long “Hello” style letter that he wrote to her, apologizing for leaving her to go back to school, recounting the happy memories that he never realized he’d cherish so much, and trying to reconnect, all despite the fact that he knew she was married by then.

She ignored him. So he tried again. Ignored again. So he contacted her MOM, in the hopes that she could get his ex-girlfriend/kibble target to respond. Mom said she’s moved on and doesn’t want to talk to you. So ex asked if he could meet with mom instead for “closure.” Who knows why, but she agreed. I found out when I overheard him talking to a family member (who’s house we were staying at while visiting his ex’s city), and he told her that he could see himself with his now married ex-girlfriend again. When I confronted him, he did the cheater wiggle, we went to a counselor, I spackled, and on we went.

Now he’s courting a new kibble source, I assume unbeknownst to his mistress (whom he now lives with). I expect a “Hello” at some point in the future.

Lyn
Lyn
8 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

Sounds like he equates love with the thrill of the chase. Only happy when he’s pursuing something that’s just out of reach. Similar personality trait with my ex.

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
8 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

Yes, that’s it exactly. He’s like that with jobs, too. He now has the job of his dreams AND his mistress (they live together), and I know he’s still not happy. I’m sure his side chick is spicing things up enough, and meanwhile he can manufacture some drama with the OW to keep his adrenaline levels where he likes them while he targets his next big chase.

It Is What It Is
It Is What It Is
8 years ago

Christina Perri has an awesome song called Jar of Hearts that all chumps should listen to or better yet watch the music video, https://youtu.be/8v_4O44sfjM. My kids actually told me about this song and how they thought it applied to their dad. “You’re going to catch a cold from the ice within your soul”, is one of the lines. Very appropriate for a narcissistic cheater!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago

ooh, ooh. Right after I took Gloria Gaynor’s song off my endless loop after D-day, I started alternating it with Jar of Hearts in week 2.

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago

My daughter told me about “Jar of Hearts” too. A second song she told me to listen to was: “You’re a Lie” by Slash, a song which ended up carrying me through hell on its back. I listened to it constantly for a while and it somehow gave me incredible strength. I played it on the day I got my divorce decree while dancing around my house.

Fifi
Fifi
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

Oh, I love Slash, this is a good one. Thanks, Kelly!

SnakebitNoMore
SnakebitNoMore
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

Just checked out You’re a Lie…. Spot on!

I happened to hear That’s All by Genesis the other day and heard it in a whole new light. Sounds like classic gaslight and hoover action now.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago

LOVE this UBT CL, thank you!

Can the UBT take a stab at Bieber’s “Sorry”? I have fun with my kid doing mini-UBTs on that Brieber’s song when it comes on the radio, and would consider it a good chump PSA to have a CL UBT take on those lyrics.

Feistypants
Feistypants
8 years ago

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahah
ha
hahaha

love. it.

NCStevie
NCStevie
8 years ago

I don’t EVER expect to get any “reconnect” attempts from X-hole (the song “Dust In The Wind comes to mind). For one he doesn’t have to invent reasons to contact me, unfortunately I have to co-parent with the asshole so there is always some, even if minimal, contact. Secondly, it couldn’t BE any more obvious that he has NO thoughts about me whatsoever. He was gone. Done. Not even a backward glance.

I can tell when he’s fishing for attention though…he cut my phone off and removed it from his cell plan, even though he isn’t paying child support. Asshole. I had to give him my new number in case there should be any emergency when he has our son. Last visitation weekend, after providing new number, the asshole was sending me pics and video of their “fun” at a local sports complex. Mr. Wonderful.

Jayne
Jayne
8 years ago
Reply to  NCStevie

NCStevie – so sorry ‘Dust In The Wind’ has got itself associated with your cheater. I love that song. It breaks my heart. Been to a couple of funerals where it was played. So sad and so bitter-sweet 🙁

tahitibound
tahitibound
8 years ago
Reply to  NCStevie

NCStevie, same here. Lurch can only text and would never, ever try to reconnect. He is over and out. About as much feeling as a stone. On the topic of songs, Saint Motel is fab. Their song Cold, cold man is Lurch’s theme song.
Oh my love,
I know I am a cold cold man
Quite slow to pay you compliments
Or public displayed affections.

But baby don’t you go overanalyze,
No need to theorize
I can put your doubts to rest…

They also have the spectacular My Type, with the killer chorus.

You’re, You’re, You’re just my type.
You got a pulse and you are breathing.

It reminds me of his Craigslist days, where any warm body would do. Klassy, with a K.

Regina
Regina
8 years ago

How about that song that the lyrics are “I’m only human, born to make mistakes” And then at the end he finds out she cheated too? Song is “Human” by the Human League. I have ALWAYS hated that song! My body parts made me do it!

Lyn
Lyn
8 years ago

I really like the song “Hello” from Adele. My favorite part is:

“At least I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter it clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore”

Every time I hear that I think “Hell yes! I’m NOT going to let someone else’s poor decisions and lack of integrity tear me apart any more.”

Personally, I get a feeling of satisfaction when I hear the song.

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
8 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

Me too!! That’s why I like the song, because it’s a little bit of the karma bus driving back around. Chump = moved on, cheater = stuck, karma = bitch.

creativerational
creativerational
8 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

I kind of think she seems related to Captain Kirk with her breathy exhalations in this song, and so to me I 1) enjoy the tune of it, 2) think about the cheaters who think they come off as genuine… You’re right Adele, I don’t give a flying fuck about you anymore, stop calling.

This is actually up there in my ‘so cheesy and awful I want to die’ songs… But Rihanna’s cheater ballad was way way way worse…
‘I don’t wanna do this anymore
I don’t wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don’t wanna hurt him anymore
I don’t wanna take away his life
I don’t wanna be…
A murderer’

Seriously. Makes me die of laughter because I think these people have soap opera overload.

“Unfaithful”

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
‘Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He’s more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I’m gone again
And to him I just can’t be true

And I know that he knows I’m unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don’t wanna do this anymore
I don’t wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don’t wanna hurt him anymore
I don’t wanna take away his life
I don’t wanna be…
A murderer

I feel it in the air
As I’m doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I’m gonna be out late
I say I won’t be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn’t have to tell
Because we both know
Where I’m about to go
And we know it very well

‘Cause I know that he knows I’m unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don’t wanna do this anymore
I don’t wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don’t wanna hurt him anymore
I don’t wanna take away his life
I don’t wanna be…
A murderer

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don’t wanna do this
Anymore
Whoa, oh.
Anymore (anymore)

I don’t wanna do this anymore
I don’t wanna be the reason why
And every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
And I don’t wanna hurt him anymore
I don’t wanna take away his life
I don’t wanna be…
A murderer (a murderer)

No, no, no

Yeah, yeah, yeah

divorceat25
divorceat25
8 years ago

Talking about narc songs about hoovering, can we talk about Ariana Grande’s “One Last Time”?

First, I thought it was a song about “Pick me Dancing” from a very sad chump. Who knows their SO is with someone else but is willing to let them in for one last night.

But upon closer inspection, it says right in the first line that it is actually about a cheaterpants who got caught. Now the chump has moved on with someone else, and they want more kibbles from them because they are a poor sad sausage. Urgh… spare me!

“I was a liar
I gave in to the fire
I know I should’ve fought it
At least I’m being honest
Feel like a failure
‘Cause I know that I failed you
I should’ve done you better
‘Cause you don’t want a liar

And I know, and I know, and I know
She gives you everything,
But, boy, I couldn’t give it to you
And I know, and I know, and I know
That you got everything,
But I got nothing here without you

So one last time
I need to be the one who takes you home
One more time
I promise, after that, I’ll let you go
Baby, I don’t care if you got her in your heart
All I really care is you wake up in my arms
One last time
I need to be the one who takes you home”

Yay for chumps who move on, boo to narcs who can’t deal!!

ANC
ANC
8 years ago
Reply to  divorceat25

Wow. That’s a gross song. Essentially, I neeeeeeeeeed to fuck you “one last time” and then, carry on…..

Barf and gag. Who wrote that song for her? If she has writing credits to that piece of crap, what a shame. A shame that she considers herself an orifice looking for prey to plug the mess of her empty soul. Nature vs nurture? Who taught her that her only value was through sex?

sephage
sephage
8 years ago

Is it odd that I’ve yet to hear that song even once?

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
8 years ago
Reply to  sephage

I haven’t either! And I hope to avoid hearing it, because I generally avoid ‘Next Big Thing’ music if I can. I listen to CD’s that I buy at thrift stores or on Amazon, lately I’m loving all the old Little Feat stuff, and Eleanor Friedberger. Music should be uplifting, not a sob fest!

SnakebitNoMore
SnakebitNoMore
8 years ago
Reply to  sephage

I haven’t, so I don’t think it’s odd at all. When I do listen to music, it’s generally rock, harder rock preferred, so I miss a lot of the cheesy pop earworms. I actually hate it when I do hear some dumb chorus to an inane pop song and it gets stuck in my head anyway. I’m like “ARRRRRGGGGHHHH, make the voices stop!” 😀

Lania
Lania
8 years ago
Reply to  SnakebitNoMore

Well said. Rock anthems are awesome. Teeny bopper ‘popular’ shit can kiss my arse.
I’ve never listened to this song either, nor do I want to.

divorceat25
divorceat25
8 years ago
Reply to  sephage

Yes 🙂 .

My friends and I had a party on Saturday when we played the song at least once every 45 mins hehe.

I have the ability to disconnect the music from the meaning, so it was actually a lot of fun.

I sang at the top of my lungs, and then proceeded to lose my voice. Hehe. You should check out the SNL sketch about “Hello” and Thanksgiving.

Beth
Beth
8 years ago

When I heard the song the first time the very first few lines I knew what the song was all about true NPD indeed. I am happy to know I am not the only one that saw what this song was all about them the cheater and how they are the sad victims of it all. When I hear the song I turn it off makes my blood boiled. No more time for the sorry ass cheaters and their AP. Also I must be the only one on the planet that really does not care for Adele at all. Oh my husband doesn’t care for her also. We both agree we get red flags about her for some reason. So I will listen to those red flags and not listen or purchase any of her music.

Beth
Beth
8 years ago
Reply to  Beth

Oh the ex tried to do this to me several months into the divorce. Saying how sorry he was being a bad husband and mess like that. Even the fake cry. All I did was laugh and thought thank heaven just several more months and I will be really free of this loser. I didn’t know it then what he was. It took some many years after the divorce to answer all of the questions about him and his behaviour. Did I buy the “Hello” phone call from him HELL NO!!!!!!! Life is so much better on this side. From what the experts say about these PD they will never let go and they will continue to contact you maybe not today but they will in the near future. Block that call. Change your number!!!!!!

Rarity
Rarity
8 years ago

“Sorry, I’m not Adele. I don’t wish the best for you, nor do I want to find someone like you. I don’t want to roll with you in anything. I don’t want to say ‘hello’ after ignoring a thousand phone calls from you. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your shit.”

Sunny
Sunny
8 years ago
Reply to  Rarity

Awesome! Does this come in a ring tone? 😀 [asking for a friend 🙂 ]

RNE Unicorn Hunter
RNE Unicorn Hunter
8 years ago

I can still enjoy this song because I picture it from the strong Chump’s side. They aren’t picking up that phone. They’re sitting back comfortable in their new life and rolling their eyes at the cheater’s attempt to reconnect. Cheater sounds desperate and sad. Good.

Survivor
Survivor
8 years ago

I got a letter from my cheater ex a couple of years after the divorce. Immediately after he’d tossed off and filed for a divorce from my replacement part. I couldn’t believe the audacity at the time, but now know it was a classic Hoovering maneuver.I didn’t respond. I don’t know if narcs actually realize that the grass isn’t greener in that younger, thinner and prettier yard, or if they just figure it’s easier to go back to the person they already spent years training to put up with their bullshit. Maybe they just like to see if they can rip their chump to shreds all over again.

FreefromSkankBoy
FreefromSkankBoy
8 years ago
Reply to  Survivor

Survivor, well said! Clap, clap, clap!

Flowerlady
Flowerlady
8 years ago

I love Adele’s song “Hello” for the very reason that it paints a poetic picture of what my cheaterX is thinking/feeling/saying. The pathetic message and the haunting music help me to see how messed up and empty these cheaters are. Every time I hear the line “after all these years to go over everything . . .” , I think to myself “are you familiar with the phrase – ‘a day late and a dollar short’?”. Cheaters put themselves out in the cold wind – on the other side, on the outside. Their pleadings are hollow and absurd.
The song “Rolling in the Deep” is one of my divorce anthems!
I really love Adele’s voice!

Drew
Drew
8 years ago
Reply to  Flowerlady

Or “When hell freezes over,” or “When pigs fly.” ;D

Justine
Justine
8 years ago

My ex harangued me for two years to rehash our marriage and try again. “Hello” makes me think of those 1000 texts, calls and face to face boundary-breaking contacts he persisted with. I coparent with him so it was bloody difficult to live with. He finally got the message when he persuaded me to go see his counsellor with him and she heard me say loud and clear that I wasn’t going back. She then worked with him to make him actually “hear” me.
There’s nothing as persistent and bloody minded as a narc bent on “true love”.

Survivor
Survivor
8 years ago
Reply to  Justine

That is impressive, Justine. You managed to convince his therapist to work with him to overcome his need to control you? Wow. Just wow. You are mighty!

Chrissa
Chrissa
8 years ago

I guess I must be the only one who loves this song. When I first heard it, I took it as being from the chump side. I love the comment someone mentioned of being poked.

Two and a half years ago, after 23 years, my EH left me for a 25 year old he “met” on POF. After texting for a month, he left me for his “new wife”. He realized the kibbles he was getting from “Francesca” made me look like dog shit. Except Francesca was not real and the pictures belonged to a porn star! Oops, Ghana romance scam. No girl and sent money anyone. What a dipshit.

The blame shifting began and still continues to this day. “I ignored him for years, always said no to everything he wanted to do”, Want to go to a movie, want to go to the beach? No, don’t feel like it today. So I rejected him with every no. That is the narrative he tells himself. Every so often, I get a picture of him at the beach alone or playing guitar. WTF? My daughter, (his step daughter he raised) has 2 children. The other day he runs into my grand daughter and then he is pissed off at me because my daughter won’t let him see my grand daughter anymore as he is irresponsible. The few times he saw her after he moved out, he lost her at the arcade, took her to his neighbors house, who we did not know and took her to a restaurant in her pajamas. First I get a text a couple of weeks ago, saying hope you have a wonderful holiday season. Stupid me responds and there were a few back and forths. Then I run into him in the grocery store parking lot and he starts sending texts as if what he did never happened. So, he says he wants me to share my thoughts and feelings, I took the bait. What a chump I am ! I remind him what he did, cheating by going on a dating website. My text was very concise and not nasty. The response I get? My fault. I ignored him, blah blah blah. Then I was pissed and said very maturely, fuck you assclown. Got the standard stuff, I am emotionally unstable. I am the one responsible for his actions because I drove him to it. Done, delete texts do not respond. Every time I do, I am brought back to that shitty place. So for 4 days, nothing. I have finally calmed down and realized that he still sucks. Out of the blue Sunday, he sends me pictures of his apartment and a very sad Christmas tree with a caption that says : All drama aside, Merry Christmas”. All I could think is WTF is wrong with him? Tells me I am emotionally unstable? That I can’t handle him telling me the uncomfortable truth? Then I get stupid pictures of his crappy apt and a tree? This is the stuff that belongs in the twilight zone. I guess when he has no family, no friends and my kids that he raised (all grown and have not spoken to him since he left) he is still looking for kibbles? To see if I still give a shit? He regards what he did to me as drama? Fuck you very much. All I can think of is something my Mom said, wait come back, there is a part of my face you didn’t step on yet! The holidays are hard enough anymore without him and his bullshit making it worse. No contact is what I keep telling myself. He is never going to change or own up to his fuck ups. I am tired of being sad and mad. Why can’t he just go away?

Lyn
Lyn
8 years ago
Reply to  Chrissa

Chrissa, change his name in your phone to “Ignore him” or “Do not reply,” something that will remind you not to respond to him! Although I know your’e seriously frustrated with him, I did get a good laugh out of your description of his antics! 😉

velvet692013
velvet692013
8 years ago
Reply to  Lyn

Thanks Lyn. After spending half my life with him, it is hard to finally “get it” that he does not give a shit. I think I will get the ringtone that says “asshole calling”. It is hilarious! Yes, I keep reminding myself that he is across town with no girl and that he sent 10k to some teenage boy in Ghana pretending to be the love of his life. Idiot. After we had to sell our beautiful home, he is living in a crappy 600 square foot apartment, while I got half his retirement and bought a house in May. Haha!
The holidays are rough and for some reason I get nostalgic. Really stupid. So I just keep reminding myself that I do not need that BPD person in my life anymore!

Survivor
Survivor
8 years ago
Reply to  Chrissa

Chrissa, only you can remove yourself from the assclown’s drama. Ignore the bugger. Think happy thoughts. Listen to this:

https://vimeo.com/21681429

Luziana
Luziana
8 years ago

Yay! We had fun with this song in the forums the other day. It’s fun to make up responses to each line.

My fave verse:
Hello, how are you?
It’s so typical of me to talk about myself, I’m sorry. It IS. It really is.
I hope that you’re well You may have smelled bleeding meat, but it was roadkill. Sorry.</b?
Did you ever make it out of that town
Where nothing ever happened?
YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW WHERE I LIVE!

BetrayedNoMore
BetrayedNoMore
8 years ago

I prefer Antonique Smith’s, “Hold Up Wait a minute” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hcT83t9kXs

LilyBart
LilyBart
8 years ago
Reply to  BetrayedNoMore

Nice. I LOVE this. 🙂

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
8 years ago

Anybody else want to take the UBT out for a beer, er, maybe a quart of oil?
I try to appreciate the people in my life who bring me that kind of laughter.
How does one appreciate the UBT?

JudiLembkeInk
JudiLembkeInk
8 years ago

To throw a monkey wrench in this: Adele has said that the song is about all relationships that are gone, whether they’re a romantic relationship, a friendship or whatever, where there are regrets about how it played out and the need to want to set things straight.

Now, no getting on Adele. I love her. 🙂

ChumpFromF
ChumpFromF
8 years ago
Reply to  JudiLembkeInk

Why is there a black guy who is crying, in the clip ?

Lania
Lania
8 years ago
Reply to  JudiLembkeInk

Funny how the ‘intended meaning’ of this diatribe song changes whenever it suits them, yeah?
First its about ‘past self’ – then its about ‘gone relationships’. What next?
Its all fucking bullshit.

LilyBart
LilyBart
8 years ago

I always loved Michael Penn’s “Long Way Down,” and loved it all the more after being chumped. A perfect description of the long and painful road to meh:

And If I wear apathy’s crown, don’t call me “Highness”
‘Cause it’s a long way down.

https://youtu.be/vxqekFB9lZs

Lola Granola
Lola Granola
8 years ago
Reply to  LilyBart

I like Michael Penn too! I thought March” was an underrated album. Especially ‘No Myth’.

https://youtu.be/IxkJHX7ukKE

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
8 years ago
Reply to  Lola Granola

Yessss. And he’s pretty hot!
‘I’m just looking for- Someone to dance with”
My Boyfriend loves to dance, score!