Stay in Touch

Check out CL's Book

And the Winner Is… Cheater Takes OW to Disneyland Instead of Kids

jar

Hi Chumps, it’s finally time for me to declare a winner of the Cheater Freak Contest 2015. My God, did you make it hard — more than 800 comments!

The rules were to write three sentences about how your cheater was Freak of the Week — what bizarro stunts did they pull that put them outside the bounds of ordinary craptacular infidelity?

NoWire slamdunked it with the first submission:

1) my husband left his email up and I discovered he has something called a humiliation fetish
2) he would have OW lay over toilet and pee on her
3) he had her wear a dog collar and crawl on the floor and eat dog food.

The dog-food-eating OW should be a poster child for the self-degradation of OW everywhere. Next time Esther Perel word salads on about the exuberant defiance of infidelity, I’d like to flash Ms. Alpo Train at her. Yeah, who’d want to miss out on THAT action, Esther? 

Close, but no cigar, NoWire. You played by the rules, you set the bar high, and no breakfast cereals were exchanged (a nod to GladItsOver there), but in the end, I had to hand the contest to CutNRun! whose husband took the OW to Disneyland instead of his children.

I’ve read a lot of awful stories on this blog, and God knows you guys catalogued hundreds of them on that one post alone, many of them far more grim than a missed vacation. However, to me, this one stands outs for the brazen, infantile entitlement — and we all know the competition is stiff in the cheater chutzpah department.

Disneyland for cheaters? Like an affair isn’t fantasy enough?

This one story underscores how infidelity is family affair. Cheaters rob from their children and give to their fuckbuddies. The empty savings jar is a chump kid metaphor.

While Cut&Runs! submission failed the three sentence test (most did, I gave up!), I have to hand the mouse ears and Meh Mug to her.

My Husband puts a whole new meaning in “Disneyland Dad”… my children have always dreamed of taking a Disney vacation. So of course I did what I thought was best & encouraged them to dream big. We gathered all sorts of fun pictures of Mickey Mouse, Cinderella’s Castle, Goofy, etc.

Each of my sweet kids carefully pasted the pictures onto a small make shift “vacation fund” jar. We spent months saving any & all spare coins, dropping any extra cash into the jar… pennies off the street. Heck! Some of them even placed their birthday money into the vacation fund in hopes that their contribution would make our dream come true more quickly.

The Husband complained that we didn’t have any extra funds for anything! Let alone a vacation. But he humored me & the kids & we all continued being excited & talked about what it would be like to ride the tea cups. And, on & on.

But, sadly in the end the husband was right. There came the day that I was so desperate for money that I cried & cried as I retrieved the Disneyland cash out of the jar. We needed groceries & I used it to pay for our necessities. I just knew the kids would never forgive me. I’ll never forget how pathetic I felt stealing this money from my children. Taking their dream away from them. I despicably placed the empty jar into the bottom of the garbage can & prayed that they wouldn’t notice.

No one ever mentioned it again.

The children were aware of the stress their dad was under. They saw how we were without a dishwasher because there was no money to buy a new one. They saw how I was watering down the milk to make it go further. They saw how hard their dad was working to make ends meet. They saw how their dad was spending a lot of extra hours at work in order to pay the bills. They didn’t make waves. They knew they shouldn’t talk about anything they wanted or needed around him. They saw that he was depressed. They saw that he needed to leave at a moments notice without any explanation because he had work related issues. They saw that he was under tremendous stress.
But what they saw. Was a lie.

Perhaps you may be able to guess where I’m going with this?

Their Dad was certainly working hard on his business… And so was his secretary.

Of course both he & schmoopie had plenty of money. Go figure, he even had enough money to book a trip for her birthday…. to DISNEYLAND!

Plenty of money to do what they wanted to do. Their affair was expensive. The Disney memorabilia they brought back for all of HER children was expensive.
Me telling him that I knew he went to Disneyland WITHOUT his children….was Priceless.

Her kids have no clue where those soveiner mouse ears have really been…•Shudder•

I know that my husband doesn’t care right now, and the OW doesn’t care right now, but someday the truth will come out. My children will someday see exactly who he is… And I hope that the OW will too. But for now they’ve taken everything away from us.
Except my ability to care for myself. Thanks to chump lady & her direction. I gave myself the perfect Christmas gift.

I filed for divorce.

And no matter what it takes I. will. get. my. kids. to. that. theme. park!

Merry Fucking Christmas to Disneyland Daddy. He gets to be my STBX.
He thinks he’s Prince Charming & he’s saving the damsel in distress. They both wished upon a star & believe they’re meant to be together. They will prove to everyone that they’ll be living the rest of their lives in a sparkly fairy tale. “You’ll see! Ours is true love!”

All that I see happening is… the damsel… well, who the hell cares about her. And the STBX? Pinnochio will continue living in his fantasy world where everything he does comes with strings attached.

Thankfully, I’m cutting myself loose.

Congrats to Cut&Run! And thanks everyone for playing! Our next contest is Valentine’s Day haiku in February.

P.S. Where’s the cartoon Tracy?! As much as I’d love to draw a cheater in mouse ears, I went into my shed/studio yesterday and my 13-year-old iMac was making an alarming grinding noise. Photoshop is not my friend right now. I hope to sort it out and return to cartooning soon. I’m sorry! I might draw things on napkins and take pictures if it comes to that. Meanwhile, it’s memes.

I can’t draw the cartoon Cut&Run, but I will throw in a galley proof copy of the new book for review.

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at info@chumplady.com. Read more about submission guidelines.
  • Wow what a bastard. One of my kids was visiting recently and dear old dad was the big shot paying for everything and showing off. Haven’t seen the kid for three years. How much quality time did he spend just with the kid two hours in ten days. Other than that off with whore juice and her kids and family. The kid did spend one day with them….. Kid hated it only wanted time some with dad. But he would die for his kids. Yeah right only spends time with them to show them off cause they are pretty. I wish he could hear himself.

  • Wowwww that is a sad story! Such a selfish man. I like the way she developed the story showing how much the children wanted to go and the family’s dire situation. In the end, he had money to bring his slut to Disneyland, a place associated with fantasy and for children. However, what strikes me the most is Cut&run’s decisive tone and strength, she was not for a second dwell on someone who was not worthy, she knew what had to be done and cut Peter Pan off!

  • You’d think after reading the stories from Chump Nation nothing would surprise me anymore. But Cut&Run’s story has me in tears. People rarely shock me anymore but what this man did to his children is just completely unbelievable. There just isn’t any justice in this world. These deranged mother-effers do this shit because they *can*. It is beyond me that these bastards can steal from their own families and there is no way to prosecute them.

    Maybe we should start a GoFundMe page for Cut&Run’s trip to Disney with her kids. These kids sacrificed their birthday money so they could all go as a family on a dream vacation. Despite the fact that their father is a selfish asshole, Cut&Run has raised some very exceptional children.

  • Chump Lady was right on by choosing the Disneyland Dad story for the Cheater Freak Contest. What an awful man! I wonder how much extra money he was siphoning off to fund his affair? Infidelity is a family affair, and it takes away from everyone, not just the jilted spouse. I look at my ex-wife and just shake my head at how her affair has really diluted her love for her children. Cheaters are selfish and despicable.

    • I know! I never realized how much he was wasting on the Flying Whore until I was able to afford life on my own. I can’t believe that I can actually afford my house, car, insurance, etc. I may be barely cutting it but considering he makes twice as much money as I do that shows how much he was dissipating assets for pussy.

      • My ex made considerable more money than me (I am a teacher), and I was so afraid to making ends meet. I am doing it, however, and it feels great. She would not blink an eye and drop $500 at Anne Taylor for herself, and towards the end of our marriage, she was always going out. I can track my money, so there are no surprises at the end of the month.

  • I applaud this choice because it illustrates the reality that the stupid shit they tell themselves “its ok that I get a blowjob from my secretary, its not like it will ever hurt my wife and kids” puts them on a path where one day they let their kids go hungry while they buy OWs kids mouse ears.

    When you cheat on your spouse you fuck your whole family.

    My nowdeadhusband wanted to move to OWs city (on the other side of the continent) and the pesky detail of his son’s senior year of HS could be solved by simply leaving him behind. THAT is abandonment. When abandoning your children for a sex partner seems a good idea, you have become the monster you never thought possible – and we have seen them do it. gag.

    Like kar marie above, he said he would die for his kids, said he would “live in hell if it were best for his kids” except he forgot they even existed for at least 2 years.

    • Asswipe is so focused on whore juice and her kids and family, big papa patriarch his kids on the rare they talk to him just tells them what to do while he counsels and gives her family the big shoulders to cry on, gets furious cause I know what’s going on in my family’s life and he doesn’t. That’s what happens when you don’t listen. Pissed off because his family won’t jump on his side. I suppose since he cheated I’m a horrible person and they are supposed to hate me. What an asshole. He pays little if no attention to them anyway. When I move if I never see him again will be to soon. Fathers who pay no attention to their own children or gyp them as in cuts case should be put down. These people are not right in the head but claim to be mother or father of the year! Bottom feeders the lot of them!

      • Yes, ex and whore spent many long hours trying to convince each other they were good parents. Meanwhile, she was setting the example for being a whore with a teenage daughter. It worked too. And he was ignoring his own beautiful daughter for this slut.

        • Stellar parents those cheaters are. One manifestation of selfish asshole (before DDay) was his pitch to have me & 2 younger kids move to Seattle and leave first child behind. After Dday he changed it to leave all of us here and he would move to Seattle where he and OW would start a family and long-distance parent his first kids from 4000 miles away. He was just SURE he was going to pull that off.

    • “When you cheat on your spouse you fuck your whole family.”

      ^^^THIS!^^^

      Today we have some quite egregious and obvious examples, however it’s important to remember the not-so-obvious things, such as the cheating spouse dipping into family funds in smaller amounts, and/or accruing debt. And, I think, one of the biggest family-impacting problems: having an affair almost guarantees that a divorce is not going to be amicable, which means that a lot of money is going to be paid to lawyers, which is money that cannot be spent on vacations/investing/college/etc.

      • Amen to that, sephage. It’s even better when they stay with their APs– when I thought that my ex might have actually pulled his head out of his arse and broke it off with her, I was actually open to a cordial, co-parenting relationship (despite the fact that I was the one who was cheated on). Nope– he had to stay with his schmoopie because he can’t stand to be alone, and that effectively torched any possibility of us being amicable. And now, he thinks they’re parents of the year and that my kids are delighted to be with him. Nope– you screwed our family over, and it’s not “all better.” You keep screwing our kids over by being a disengaged parent who cares more about what his schmoopie and her kids want, and she’s just a bitch to our kids. I will not miss this crap when my kids are adults.

      • Sephage,

        Yeah. My STBX will not pay for college (although he promised to help in very specific ways in specific amounts. The kids’ college money was being ‘siphoned off’ by him. My attorney just broke the news to me that, in my financial situation, I could not help my kids pay for college (or any small luxuries or comforts). All the money I saved and could have saved, had my STBX not blown up our family, went to my STBX’s prostitutes, affair partners, and my extremely high-priced attorneys (to protect me from my STBX’s false allegations over the last year and a half).

        To our contest winner, sorry that the father of your children is such an exceptionally horrible jerk. Taking your affair partner to Disneyland after having promised to take your kids there sounds a bit like stealing candy from a baby.

    • Yeah I’ve heard the “I would die for my kids” garbage. Ok so you would die for your kids but you aren’t willing to keep their family together? That doesn’t add up. They say the stupidest things and some people buy that junk.

      • Yes! If you are so horny why don’t you just go jack off to some porn, and keep your family together. Instead you are trolling bars for sluts staying out all night racking up $100 bar tabs and buying drinks for whores while the wifey is at home clipping coupons for soup. Been there done that.

        • It probably started that way, and in a healthy person that’s where it would have stayed. But these people have addictive personalities. Porn wasn’t enough. Nothing could ever have been enough.

          • Um yeah – no to the jacking off to porn thing. Mine did that, and cheated online. each of those things fueled the other one.

            If you’re horny and your wifes not available at the moment be a fucking man, put it on recycle and save it till your wife is home.

            • That would have been nice. Some wives check out during the honeymoon and don’t reopen the store until /they/ want a baby. Then the store closes again.

              • Heatdeath…yes some do that. My new husband’s mother in law died 3 months after he and wife #1 were married. He knew she would grieve and gave her the space she needed but she was mad at him for wanting to eventually restart a normal sexual relationship and it was on her laundry list of grievances when she left him 9 years into the marriage. He says that the very last time they ever had sex was when they conceived their daughter..then the store was closed for ever.

                That doesnt have to be where life ends though…we’ve been married almost 6 months and he was the recipient of a wonderful and juicy marital treat on the family room sofa last night. (we became empty nesters on Saturday so spontaneous sex in any room in the house is a thing now)

            • Pretty sure I’m happy to have sex some of the time I’m cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, working, applying for better jobs, balancing the bank stuff…. But instead I do those things because I’m a grown up and sometimes I can’t just lay around and be an ass weasel.

      • Yes die for the kids. Yeah right I’ve heard that a few times but not as often as I should a never had kids I would have such a different life. Well he has whore juices kids now they are ” perfect” ours are not. What an awful thing to say to me their mom, I’ve lost almost everything I ever felt for him. Pitches me their mom to go off with whore juice and pretty much ignores them for three years whore juice only puts up with them because of him.he wants me to move close to where he lives so he can be there for me and the kid who’s coming home to live with me. That kid doesn’t want to live anywhere near him. Stupid douche bag. He will never appreciate what’s standing in front of him being loving and loyal. He’s really damaged his relationship with his own blood family and tried to blame that on me too. Asswipe!!!

  • Well, CutNRUn, from the almost winner, I’d like to say Jan 9th 2009 was my D day and it was truely horrific as Chumplady mentioned. I was 6 months pregnant with my third daughter when my world came crashing down around my ears. I know those days of watering down milk. I had a garage sale the weekend of D day just to buy groceries. I had to get a live in college kid and give her a room in my house to just sleep at my house in case my baby woke up so I could work a second job at 0300 am to make those ends. It was a long and hard road of paying the mortgage and bills and carrying for three little girls all under the age of 4 by myself. But that baby I was pregnant with will turn 7 this year and I climbed the career ladder at work and now I only work one full time job and I live in Florida two hours from Disney World and you better believe one year with my tax return I got Disney annual passes and we went pretty much every weekend and it was spectacular! It may not seem like it but you are going to get there!!!!!!!!! I did. and I did it with no child support all by myself

    • NoWire — you are all kinds of MIGHTY.

      I was a single mom for years with just one child, I really marvel at you single parents out there doing it with multiple kids and zero child support. You all deserve medals, or a star on the Single Parent sidewalk of fame.

    • I second CLs comment, you are mighty and I hope you are really proud ! I never gathered the needed courage & fortitude to do what you did. I applaud you.

    • NoWire, you are one smart woman. Sometimes Chumps do have resources that aren’t apparent, like an extra room in the house for an overnight babysitter who can be the adult in an emergency. And other people who don’t have cash might be willing to “live in” if it’s just about being in the house at night. College kids, women living on marginal social security, another single parent.

    • You a very mighty and an inspiration No Wire! I would love to start an organization that matches single moms with other single moms so that we can help each other out it all kinds of ways. Not sure where to start!

  • I sure hope that Cut & Runs can get a court ordered forensic accountant to go over DisneyDaddy’s business books. There is something very wrong there — and where there is smoke there is fire in my opinion. You shouldn’t starve your family and feed a whore. If you are despicable enough to do that, you probably are cheating Uncle Sam, too, and hiding all kinds of interesting things as business expenses.

    I pray that my son’s will see the logic and need to have their father’s estate examined by a forensic accountant when he finally kicks the bucket. He was supposed to be looking after several business ventures that I could have required him to sell and split the proceeds on when we divorced — and the benefits from these ventures, if any, were supposed to go directly to the boys, not either of us. It was a risk, but it was also a negotiating chip I played during the divorce. If my children will ever wake up and smell the coffee about the true nature of their dad’s “business” deals, they may realize just why their much younger step mother married their father. It certainly was not “twu luv” — but I sometimes wonder if they prefer NOT to know the truth? It is their inheritance — Hopefully my sons will be a little older and a lot wiser when the time comes!

    • CutNRUn, if your divorce isn’t final yet, please take this advice to heart about getting a forensic account.

      Your husband might very well be embezzling money, cheating on his taxes and/or hiding assets if he was able to take his OW on a lavish vacation (and who knows how many expensive hotels and dinners) while you and your children were on the brink of hunger.

      • So I guess in some states the court can order a forensic accountant and it’s paid for? My understanding is that the biggest issue with hiring a forensic accountant is balancing how much it will cost you to trace how much money, but I agree that it would definitely be worth it for CutNRun to pursue a claim for marital waste if she hasn’t already, especially if she could get the courts to pay for it.

        Such a heartbreaking story, I’m so sorry 🙁 Please keep us updated on GoFundMe or PayPal and count me in for a donation.

        • A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst can do most of what a forensic accountant can do at the fraction of the cost. I went to one and found she was very wise in what tricks disordered spouses like to play and she even knew a lot about personality disorders, much more than the forensic accountant. Also, many times they will do an one hour free consultation too.

          • Unfortunately, the assets they hide are cash they did not claim on their income taxes. By signing a joint return …..

  • Wow – those were amazingly heartbreaking, rage-inducing stories of cheater fucktardness!

    A message to any cheaters visiting here: Witness the company that you keep; people who steal from their own children. Oh, wait, I forgot, your “special” and “not that kind” of cheater/slut/asswipe. Whatever.

    🙂

    • But each of theeeeem is supah spahkly and speshul! You don’t know their Lyfe! Don’t judge until you’ve fed the goldfish in their Tall Lucite Whore Shoes and walked a mile in their Whore Shoes from Thom McWhore.

        • What is it with Disney and cheaters? And Victoria’s Secret?

          As people here know, I’m stuck living in the same house as my XH until I get the money from his retirement (instead of doing a cash-back, refinance, he added the home equity + taxes to the amount I get from his retirement). Anyway, over the holidays, he took two weeks off, ostensibly to attend a class in Tampa.

          Now, that class was held in Tampa, but for only about 3 days. The letters from Disney suggested he had other plans.

          I came back from my holiday with my extended family, only to find Victoria’s Secret bags in the recycling. Also the receipts.

          When I finally ran into XH when he came in, I asked him how his vacation was. He said he didn’t have one; he was in class. I laughed at him, saying, “Oh come on. You expect me to believe that?”

          We’re divorced, and he still can’t tell the truth. He can, however, take Schmoopie, a woman well-known for her negotiable virtue, to Disney World with a suitcase of Victoria’s Secret lingerie (in size XL).

      • “Don’t judge until you’ve fed the goldfish in their Tall Lucite Whore Shoes”

        HAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! Awesome!

        • STBXH left the OWs panties (Victoria’s Secret of course) in his drawer. I later learnt that it was so that he could periodically take them out and sniff her scent. She too, has negotiable virtue, and thus far has negotiated jewellery, lavish holidays, designer clothes/sunglasses, my former home, dinners…the works. What hurts the most though, is that he gave up me and his kids for her and her two children.

          Meanwhile, I was counting pennies and trying to figure out how to keep our family afloat. Doing without. You see, he was self employed and “barely making it.” Yup, I too sacrificed and did without, while he spent the money on his One True Love (the same true love that was fucking her married boss but gave up her true love to be with him).

          What a turd, both of them!

  • What a disgusting individual. So glad you were able to use the anger generated by his behaviour to kick him to the curb. Those disordered fuckwits deserve each other and it won’t be nearly as fun for them without the sneaking around.

    It’s a sign of how broken they truly are and how the facade that this is a relationship issue just between the two of you is just that, a facade and an excuse for shitty behaviour.

    I thought mine was bad – wouldn’t purchase Hannukah gifts for the kids and said he didn’t care about DD’s birthday (I bought the gift) but went on a two month long shopping trip of $1000’s for Shmoopie and her kids. Got to suck her in with his generosity of course.

  • I took my kids to Disney Land one week because I knew my a**hole husband would ruin it for us. We had a great time. My h took the whole week we were gone off of work while we were gone claiming he wanted to watch the house. I didnt care at the time. Red flag of course. He was probably having a f*ckfest! So glad I didnt know though because that certainly wouldve ruined my trip. It was enough knowing that he would have ruined our trip had he been there!

  • My father was a serial cheater. When summer rolled around he would take me and my brother for one day to a waterpark or a theme park, and complain the entire time about what a burden it was. Then he would take a second vacation to the beach, for a week, “by himself.” Good times.

    • My father was too. The only difference is that he only took us to a fancy dinner every Sunday’s with 2-5 of his friends plus his special lady of the month. Mind you this was while he was married to my mom and she was also in attendance.
      The kicker was the disney trip family photo with his side piece and her 2 children. The fair photos (big chair) with his “family” surface after he went to jail for 15 years. Mind you my brother and I never got a movie date alone with daddy dearest.
      While incarcerated dime piece and her 2 princesses disappear now that he is back home low and behold they just had to reach out to him. Still waiting for the fan to hit the ceiling. I really need to get my mom on this site since she decided to take him back.

  • My ex did something in the same vein. He used our planned trip to Disney World in May 2014 to text the secretly pregnant Jake From State Farm from every public toilet in the Magic Kingdom. Walking fast far ahead of me in 90 degree heat after I had just been in the ICU MRSA pneumonia a few months before. Leaping in front of park photographers with just the kids. Insisting on splitting the kids up so he wouldn’t have to sit by me. He was sending pictures of our daughters to the skank. Imagine my bewilderment. I confronted him one night and he turned the gaslight to eleven.

    In retrospect, it’s cool. I have tons of Disney and Universal photos. He’s not in one. He left me with bills and racked up cards and no savings from the trip.

    Darling, you can do this! 18 months later I took both my kids on a cruise liner AND back to Universal. By then both were older and over Disney. I had dropped 50 lbs and had endless energy. We scrubbed the Cheater Taint off in style.

    Ex lives with Schmoopie #4 and five kids in an apartment by the freeway. He is buying diapers at age 49. They vacation in the salsa aisle at Wal-Mart.

    Cheers! If we do a GoFundMe I’m in!

    • texting his schmoopie “from every public toilet in the Magic Kingdom.” So glamorous! Another pearl for Esther Perel. And common cheater, behavior, too. My ex did a majority of texting while on the toilet, taking a dump.

      “Walking fast far ahead of me in 90 degree heat”
      What a tool. Mine did this as well, all the time. So glad you’re away from him.

      • I used to wonder why my cheater spent so long in the bathroom before taking a shower. It was after Dday and learning that he and Schmoopie liked to sext each other that I realized just what he was doing.

        How romantic! 😛

        • My cheater ex did this. he was always in the bathroom forever taking a dump….would sit there so long, he’d hobble out saying he had Blue Legs. You know, because he sat there so long his legs fell asleep. Then of course when he was texting HO worker all the time, he stayed even longer in there. Yep dump and pump…. Ew.

          • Oh for the love of Pete, what is it with these disordered freaks, Disneyland, and sexting from bathrooms? Mine always took both his computer and his phone into the bathroom with him every morning to spend at least an hour doing God-knows-what with them. And on the vacation theme . . . it goes without saying that he was always a kill-joy, no doubt because he had to feign being engaged with us for an entire week at a time.

            One year while we were staying at a waterpark, I woke up early to go to the bathroom and noticed he was already in there but that his computer was no longer on the night stand next to the bed. I knocked on the bathroom door and told him I needed to get in ASAP. I hear some shuffling, and he walks out in a huff, wrapped in a towel. Close the door, survey the room, no computer to be found. So I opened a cabinet and noticed a bunch of extra towels stacked up and sure enough, there was his computer neatly folded into a towel in the middle of the stack.

            This was long before I knew anything about NPD, keeping quiet about evidence, etc., so I confronted him. What computer? There was no computer in the towels, that’s just crazy talk . . . after it was clear I wasn’t buying what he was selling, he said he was protecting it from the water. Um, ok, then why bring the computer into the waterpark and use it at a lounge chair while the children splashed nearby, with no protection whatsoever? Oh yeah, protection wasn’t really his thing . . .

        • OMG – the sexting from the bathroom – I swear to God the more stories I read on here the more convinced I am that all these fucking cheaters downloaded some kind of how to be a fuckwad lying bastard and betray my wife manual from the interwebs! Fat Bastards picture he was texting and using on dating profiles was taken on the fucking toilet!

          They ALL do the same stupid shit! What complete idiots!

      • Wow! My STBXH used to take FOREVER in the toilet. Chumpy me thought that it was a man thing. No, it was just his cheating ways. That’s where he would sext her. Ewwwwww!

        • Ugh. Mine too. Dump and Pump – that hits the nail on the head, Luz.

          And I am up for donating to Cut&Runs Disney trip. What an ass smear of a human her STBX is…..

          • My ex was a Platnum member of the Dump
            And Pump Club. His cell phone was ALWAYS with him, including the bathroom – with the doors closed. At night, with his phone plugged in right by his head on the night stand, he would be quietly conversing with his whore du jour via email while I was asleep right beside him. I know this because, even if he was using his “secret” email account(s), the times of the transmitions are traceable if one uses gmail.

            • Yep – I know the sexting stories all too well myself. Taking a massive amount of time on the toilet – yep. Sleeping with the phone under his pillow – yep. ETC…

        • Bathroom time multiple times a day for 30-45 minutes a stretch. With the cell phone, of course…he was “reading the news or playing scrabble (now I know it has a chat function he was using to “chat””. Wow….When I questioned his bathroom time, with concern about the number of trips and the length, he got pissed and asked if I was the potty police. Really dude? The best was on a road trip and we stopped off at an outhouse, because he just had to go, but we were listening to music in the car. He unplugged the phone and took it with into the outhouse. Again, when I mentioned it laughingly (before I knew anything) he said it was just habit.

          Nothing says “I’m such a stud” than texting from a shithole in the ground. Awww…

    • “Living with schmoopie in an apartment by the freeway with five kids” — Oh what a glorious, fun time that must be!! LOL! My ex is living in an old apartment complex that caters to students (i.e. cheap and run down). His schmoopie (who is now his wife) has moved into a separate apartment in the same complex because my ex could not stand living with her mentally unstable teenage daughter (poor child has tried to commit suicide 4x times in one year…a tragic and sad consequence of the type of life cheaters lead) and her son who is mid-transition to female and his girlfriend. Son/girlfriend just showed up on cheater and Owife’s doorstep about six months ago…they had been living in a tent in the woods. Can you imagine the fun times going on in that place!? My two boys and I, on the other hand, are living in a beautiful home I rented in a neighborhood my ex and I had wanted to purchase in at one point but could not afford (his many business shenanigans left us deep in debt and struggling for the majority of our 20 year marriage). I have a wonderful fiance and we will be married on Valentine’s day next month. My oldest son is in college and I have been able to provide him with a new car to drive and help with his expenses. My younger son loves our spacious house and has his own “man cave” with every video game imaginable. Our life is quiet, peaceful, comfortable and blessed. I’ve done all this without any financial assistance from my ex at all except for court-ordered child support for our younger son (no alimony, no settlement, no equity from the house we had to sell because he had borrowed on it to the max, what little we had in savings I had to use to pay off back taxes). I can’t imagine going back to a life with him. I see him now with the clarity of 3.5 years of distance and as much “no contact” as possible…and he is a loser. A coward. An ugly little man inside and out. Good riddance and thank you Lord for my deliverance!

      • “Good riddance and thank you Lord for my deliverance!”

        AMEN, Nicole!!!! You have given me hope for a wonderful man in my future too!!!!

        Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!!!!

    • “They vacation in the salsa aisle at Wal-Mart.” LMFAO!

      Asshat has some potential replacements for me (I have not filed and I don’t think he knows I am, so he is planning ahead) waiting in the wings. Several have young kids. He tries to convince himself this is for Little Elf but it’s bc these women are desperate and slutty (and they all want free Botox, not his ED fat enshrouded Widdle Asshat). And I have a sneaking suspicion they probably love Velveeta queso dip and shitty jarred salsa ;O

    • Ex lives with Schmoopie #4 and five kids in an apartment by the freeway. He is buying diapers at age 49. They vacation in the salsa aisle at Wal-Mart.

      ROTFLMAO… that’s GOLD.

    • Holy shit snacks, Luziana!!!!! I am DYING over here between Dump & Pump and Vacation at th salsa aisle at the walmart Holy shit!!!!!! OMG, LMAOOOOO!!!! My stomach hurts for real and I actually have tears!!!!

      Yeah, I now realize why the Albatross/TEO was in the bathroom so often, UGH!!!!

  • I’ll donate to CutNRun go fund me Disney trip….

    It’s sad her horrible story “won”…. all of these stories of the “Winning” cheaters makes me sick.

    As I said yesterday about my girls paying for college….. we had the money, sitting in a joint escrow account. Burger Meister Meister Burger refused to release any funds for her 2nd semester. She was at Penn State with a 3.97 GPA. But guess what, in that December before Spring semester, Burger Meister bought Taco her engagement ring….he went to Jarrod.
    But no college tuition….
    A year later he takes me to court to release that money to pay for the delinquent property taxes to keep our farm from going up for Sheriff sale.
    I told the judge….with emails and texts messages, he refused our daughters college tuition out of that account, I refuse to pay for his choices to not pay his taxes…… Burger Meister left without his hamburger meal….and had to cough up the money in 15 days.

    CutNRun…..you are strong and mighty…..I’ll even meet you in Disney, my daughter and I have never been there either.

    • Tracy, my nowdeadcheater (in an unusual moment of sharing freely and telling me what was really in his mind vs lies) mentioned the idea of spending the kids college money on an engagement ring for Schmoopie (if she picked my nowdeadhusband her fiance, she would have to forfeit the $39,000 ring her guy gave her). Just the idea sent me into righteous fury…cant even imagine if he had DONE it.

      My parents spent me & my bros college tuition on a mansion where they would impress their friends and Im still pissed about it 30 yrs later. I hope your daughters channel their anger at him where it belongs.

    • Burger Meister and Taco. I am dying! Tracy should do a post on Cheater names.

      Mine are Cold Slab O’Meat and Jake From State Farm usually.

      My favorite of all time, so delightfully absurd. A poster when I found CL called his ex and OW Groceries and Chainsaw Man. Still makes me giggle!

      • CL/ Tracy ‘ s drawing of a guy on a tractor pulling an engagement ring. …I screen shot that and sent it to him.
        That drawing sums it up…..
        he rebought the farm for that whore.

        He is now 401K in debt and lost 60% of his retirement at 57 years old. Good thing she’s young…34…she is gonna HAVE to work to help pay for my settlement.

      • Why “Groceries” I wonder???

        I’m sticking with The Evil One for my ex- but I have started also calling him what he actually was- an Albatross. A-TEO for short.

  • Congratulations to CutNRun on the win and my sincere sympathy for the treachery of proporions. Asswipes, the lot of them, but it really doesn’t shock me.

    Last year on Halloween weekend we were supposed to have X-holes other kids (first time in 6 years that son would not have to trick or treat alone) and what did he do?? Called his ex and asked her to switch weekends so he could meet OWhore in Miami. His ex knew what was going on so…. she told us to come out there so we did, I took son out to trick or treat with his siblings at the ex-wifes house.

    X-hole and his troll have spent much of the past year traveling and sleeping in expensive hotels all while he was NOT paying the bills (which he knew I couldn’t pay, knew I was unable to work due to health issues). From May to November I did not receive ONE dime from him for any support whatsoever.

    This is his MO, he has always done this to one degree or another. They do not care who they fuck over, even their children.

    • NCStevie – please help me out all of you with asshats that aren’t paying CS. How does that work when the court has deemed it part of the settlement (and I assume it was in your settlements). How is it you can not garnishee his paycheck?

      • I JUST filed against him last week, but maybe I can still give some insight. We were never married so divorce wasn’t necessary, I’ve given him a year to “do the right thing” and…. as predicted he cares only about what is right for him. As far as garnishment… he works for himself and this is how he avoids having his wages garnished (as do many who do not regularly pay their court ordered child support, or only pay a fraction or portion of it AND only when/if they see fit).

        My guess is that the state won’t pursue jailing them unless the parent not receiving the support forces the issue. I can understand how hard it would be to lock them up and risk NO support versus spotty and partial support. Not only that but some Moms just don’t want to be the reason dad goes to jail, SURELY that is what they will tell the kiddos.

        It’s mind boggling really, their thought process, I told X-hole I didn’t care what he did and wouldn’t try to deliberately screw him over or expose his bullshit unless he tried screwing me and son over. “As long as you take care of our son I don’t give a fat shit about anything else you do, but do NOT screw us over or I will not care about your consequences.” I won’t even tell you all of the details of what he put us through from December thru May of the past year, but from May til November he did not give me ONE single dime. Trust me when I say his predicament is very very precarious.

        He finally gave me a little bit in November and December, but it is clear that he will only pay WHAT he wants IF he wants and that I am not tolerating (I know him and his child support payment history). Even after all of this I brought him the papers rather than having him served and I offered to mediate with him in my attorney’s office to keep him out of court, told him we could negotiate the child support (not budging on full physical custody) and although he said “I appreciate that” it’s been 4 days and I haven’t heard one word from him.

        Even when you throw them a line to save themselves they WON’T take it. Whatever dude. I’m not sitting back and allowing him to NOT support the child we had together while spending money on the piece of shit that participated in the destruction and dismantling of my family and my son’s life. Assholes.

  • Please let us know when and where we can donate to get CutNrun and her kids to Disneyworld! Last year we donated gifts for kids in Africa via Chumplady…this would be a great belated ChumpNation holiday gift to a family who was chumped and needs a break! A great way for all of us to begin 2016!

  • Reading about Disney Dad made me mad…and sad. It is incredible that a father could deprive his kids of so much materially and emotionally for the sake of new kitty. How selfish. I like the allusion to Pinnocchio…strings attatched…lies. Unlike Pinnocchio though he did not become a REAL man.

    • I don’t think they are real any things except real assholes. My ex loves to say he’s a realist and lives in the real world. Nope! A bragging extreme egotist with shit for brains and morals living in fantasy lala land with a 52 year old teeny bopper who doesn’t care who she hurts to get what she wants including him and is a female version of him. Who’s the whipped one now. One kid only contacts him for money and the other has seen who and what he’s turned into and told me will see him when she feels like it cause she doesn’t want to be around his nastiness either. Really resents he tried to slam his new family down her throat and she had to take it willingly and hate me. He’s pissed it didn’t work. And the fucker still wants us to be friends. My kids want me as far away from him as possible and already told him we will give you no info on mom or how she is doing! He didn’t like that. Poor sad sausage!

  • CutNRun – PLEASE set up a Go Fund Me for yourself and your kids – and when you do, and you go to Disneyworld start a thread in the forum with lots and lots of pictures!

    Please do it – there are so many of us who would contribute!

  • Wow, I read through that Cheater Freak thread but somehow missed this heartbreaking story. I agree with all the others about setting up a Go Fund Me account–about 6 months after D-day, I took my girls to Disney, and after several years of sucky pseudo-vacations with cheating ex, it was an amazing and healing experience. I would be proud to be part of a CN campaign to get you and your kids there! Major hugs to you.

  • I will totally donate to a CutNRun! GoFundMe to get her and the kiddies to Disneyland! I’m glad people are on board because I was thinking just that by the time I finished the article.

  • I can’t believe I missed this one, but oh, my god, I cried. What a fucking asshole. CutNRun, please start a GoFundMe, I will donate.

  • I love you chump nation! My first thought in reading the post and before reading the comments was, “where is the gofundme page? I will donate something to for those kids!” Then scrolling down I see where we all were on the same page.
    Come on CutNRun! I am waiting!

  • Merry Christmas Cut&Run. Awesome gift to yourself. I’m proud of you!
    I know these days are hard (I’m a ramen aficionado right now at 7 months from D-day) but I have faith that mine and yours will get better as we move forward as part of CN.

  • Jeez, what an asshole!

    CutNRun, your STBX is a real jerk (you know that, and it’s clear that you Trust that He Sucks). Your story shows just what these narcissistic assholes will do to their own children!

    And yes, I’d toss in a few dollars to the Disney Fund. My XH took his Schmoopie there this past New Year’s. He still lies about having had a vacation (wtf? we’re divorced and he still can’t tell the truth?).

    I went as a teenager to Disney World, and as an adult to Disneyland. In fact, my brother was working in California, not too far from Disneyland. I spent my first vacation week out there. We went when the park opened, and left after the fireworks. We hit every single major ride and most of the secondary rides. I walked his feet off. We then went up the coast to spend time in the Bay area, touring wineries.

    CutNRun, your kids will have a blast at Disney World. You can do this!

  • OMG! Want to talk about a trigger? I know your pain! I saved and saved to take my kids and grandkids to Disney. I had NO idea that my Ex told his Schmoopie we would be there. So guess who shows up at Disney? My Ex is a heavy smoker so my kids and I didn’t give it much thought that he spent most of his time in front of a restaurant that faced the magical castle. We just thought he was being his lazy self! Little did we realize that Schmoopie and he were meeting up in between us checking in with him! She took pictures of him and her in front of the “fantasy” castle all smiles! I had rented a house for a week and he begged off one day to stay “home”. Come to find out that he and the whore bag screwed in the very bed we were sleeping in! I could NOT believe my eyes when I saw the pictures! There is NOT one picture of my Ex with his family from that trip, but he had a secret file with over 90 pictures of him with the twat! I will NEVER go back to Disney again! Whore bag, when confronted, told me she goes to Disney every year on her birthday! The bitch is in her 50’s! My Ex made sure this piece of ass had a “button” that said “Happy Birthday” and he posted it on his Facebook! At the time I had no idea of the affair! Such a slap in the face to me and his family! There just are no words to sufficiently describe two pieces of lust that would totally ruin a long awaited, expensive vacation for the family! My memories and pictures of Disney are buried deep somewhere in a box and will NEVER be displayed!

      • Having Schmoopie JOIN YOU at Disney…that is LOW.

        Roberta and I were both married to retired Marines. Mine had Schmoopie as an invited guest to his military retirement…you know the one where they give the wife roses and thank her for her sacrifices to God and country. Later I realized she wasnt his only whore at the party. Talk about ruining a memory !!!

        • Unicornnomore, I remember my Ex’s retirement ceremony at Quantico. It was wonderful and I couldn’t even imagine how I would feel if his twat was there! My heart goes out to you. On the upside though, it sounds as if you have found a “real man” now and you are happy! Let the old whores sit at his grave and moan……oh sorry, they are probably moaning, but more likely with someone else’s husband at the local motel!!! So much for their loyalty and sacrifice!! Jeez, loyal only to themselves!

          • Roberta, yes a real man he is. I realized we might be compatible when we went to a retirement ceremony (Quantico) together which turned out to be a HUGE pain trigger for me AND (while there) he suffered a professional kick in the face. We went back to his car ..both sitting there silently like walking wounded…and despite our pain, we managed to be reasonable and civil to one another.

            My hope is that all deadHs whores pine away for him as their great lost love.

  • Hi Guys, I reached out to Cut&Run to let her know she won the contest. Before I announced that this morning, I wrote to her last night to say Tempest wanted to be in touch. She wrote:

    I”‘m in shock. I never expected this response. I truly, & I mean, TRULY did not intend to tell the tale in order to receive a handout.

    I just wanted to complain about my idiot STBX.

    That being said- I hope you’ll understand that there’s no way that I’d ever be able to accept a single dime from Chump Nation. But, the fact that people are offering me such is amazing. I began to cry knowing that complete strangers would reach out like this.

    Their kindness has reminded me that there are still generous, tender hearted souls left in this world.

    I have sooo many hurdles to jump over as I go forward from here. So many. I’ve only just begun to know what my hell on earth (him & the OW) will be like.

    Disneyland is but a small blip on my “what now?” radar. I want nothing more than to see my kids experience some happiness in the midst of all this freaking misery. BUT right now please let tempest know that I think she’s wonderful. And I can’t take any money. I just can’t. Although I’m beyond grateful for everything offered.”

    Okay, I know, this probably only wants to make us offer MORE.

    If we can persuade her (I like the Go Fund Me idea myself) I nominate Tempest to set it up. I can’t do it as a blogger (says my in-house counsel…) nor do I wish to pick favorites to bestow $ upon, but if you all feel inspired, I’m sure Tempest can work something out. I’ll keep you posted.

    Meanwhile, Cut&Run — you WON A MUG! (And a review copy of my new book). So contact me!

    • Cut&Run, please reconsider. It’s not a handout, just something nice, spontaneously offered, from a bunch of chumps who want to live vicariously through you by helping you give a little bit of happiness for your kids who suffered because of their jerk-off cheater-dad. Don’t overthink it. Just take those kids to Disneyland (sans cheater).

      • Yes c&r – please. You have no idea how happy it would make those of us at CN to send you and kiddos to Disney. Maybe I’m being selfish – but it will put a smile on my face for months. And I don’t think I am alone. Please?

        • Cut and Run – I’m sitting at my OB’s office waiting to be called in to get tested for STD’s. Again. Oh. And it’s my birthday.

          Crying as I write this but if I could do ANYTHING to help alleviate someone else’s pain it would feel so good. CN is correct – this isn’t a handout. You would be giving us a gift by accepting. I want you and you your kids – and everything at CN – to feel good and have fun for a change. That benefits me and other chumps.

          Love and hugs to you and kiddos.

          • Everyone. Sorry about typos. Tears. And I forgot GD tissues. Oh well. I don’t give a shit what the other ladies here think. Guessing they are not here for the same reason.

            • Sah_esq, sorry to hear you’re getting more tests. I just went NYE morning for my final (?) followup round. My doctor is married to my cheater Asshat’s clinic partner! Talk about weird and awkward. Happy Birthday! You didn’t think you would find yourself getting those tests and you are. Maybe another woman in the waiting room was also reading CL? Ya never know. Good luck with your tests.

            • Sah_esq. [[Hugs]]. I’m so sorry to hear this is the way you are spending your birthday. What a bastard.

              Good luck with your tests, and I hope you manage to do something nice for yourself later.

              My heart goes out to you.

              Jayne xx

              • It’s absolutely therapeutic to help right a wrong done to another chump. It’s not a handout, C&R. It a KARMIC CORRECTION FROM THE UNIVERSE. Please reconsider.

      • I was just going to comment and say how much I really enjoyed everyone’s comments, but, after Cut&Run’s response, my throat just closed up! Cut&Run, this is the kind of thing I like being involved in. It’s not a handout. We’re friends here. You’ll be on the other side one day, wanting to help out a friend. Learning to accept help with no Pinocchio strings attached is a hard thing for a Chump to learn. I really hope you’ll take the offer and take those kids to Disney!! It makes me smile to think of the happy and amazing memories you and your kids would make that would outshine your original story.

        • Also CNR, remember this is something nice for your kids too. Sometimes my own pride gets in my way with people offering nice things for my kid, but then I stop and think it helps her find joy in all this pain and confusion, and it isn’t about me. If you allow CN to do this wonderful thing to allow us feel that good people do get good things in this world and that cheaters don’t prosper, you will also be showing your kids that good, honest and kind people can be rewarded, and selflessness can still exist. Karma too . . .

          And I need to feel this today as this week marks week one where my previous unemployed, alcoholic, cheating deadbeat decided to hit his family up for a job in the same place that I work. So now I get to see him every day, all dressed up and playing nice, while I single parent, with no child support and struggle with the lies he tells about me. I would like to think that justice does happen, so let me do a little to help you and your kids get the Disneyland trip you have always wished, and saved for. Please?

          I am being selfish in this, of course, so no more pressure from me after this!

          Thanks CNR for your story and I wish us all the strength to be who we truly are: mighty survivors every day, doing the right thing in a world that seems to reward ego, narcissism and acquisition at all and any costs.

    • I was posting my comments below as you were posting yours CL – so hadn’t read what you said about CutnRun’s response.

      CutnRun – I so, so understand what you mean about not being able to take ‘a handout’ from CN. When CN rallied for me I too struggled with that idea. I too hadn’t told my tale of cooker-less woe hoping for the offer of help, and felt like a heel when Karma Express suggested it. So honestly, honestly I really do understand.

      There were two things that swung it for me. 1) Microwave meals are crap and just my rent takes half my monthly salary, there was no way I was getting a cooker any time soon. 2) We are chumps and struggle with accepting help, but by accepting help and the kindness of others we experience directly how this world doesn’t belong to the selfish, narcissistic disordered idiots – and being cheated on can make you feel that bastards are the norm. In accepting help, in accepting the kindness of others we give people the opportunity to prove that there is goodness in the world – and CutnRun, that’s the most priceless gift we can give ourselves and others.

      So please, please don’t consider it a handout. You must see that there are so many people here who want that Disneyland vacation for your kids, and we will all feel wonderful (as in – the world is a good place to be after all). I for one, would welcome this opportunity to pay it forward, as it was paid forward to me.

      Please email Tempest and let’s get this ball rolling 🙂

      And yes, like many have said … before I even got to reading the comments, I too wanted to help put right that wrong your shithead STBX did to your lovely children.

      Do it. Please xxxx

        • Very well said, Jayne – I think we could all agree with that. Some us have $5, some have $50. Even a $1. Jayne is right saying it is a gift to US to know that there is a universal good world out there in all the mayhem of cheatery, debauchery and disrespect.

          So, by you accepting this wee gift Cut&Run, you are doing US a favor. Get it? 🙂

          If you’re too emotional now, it 1) the date can be later in the year. 2) It might be the best thing you could do for you and the kids amidst all the crazy.

      • I agree with Mirad…..imagine the look on that assholes face when he finds out you took the kids to Disney with out him…

        CutNRun…. we want to bless you….by not accepting you take away our blessing. Don’t do that. It’s a small gesture from many that puts the middle finger up to the cheaters and says FU…. I don’t need you…

        CutNRun…..you just won suckiest cheater story of 2015…..what will you do next???.

        I’M GOING TO DISNEY!!!!!

        LET US GIVE YOU YOUR SUPERBOWL MOMENT

    • Hi, Cut&Run, please reconsider. It is NOT a handout, it is a gift. Secondly, there is a selfish aspect to this…… it gives US great pleasure to do something kind for another person. It gets us out of our own pain and as we all know, we’ve had more than our share! Did you notice the thread changed from sad to very happy when CN wanted to be part of something good? Please allow us this joy…xoxoxox

        • Love it Lizzy – and yes, I agree. I hope C & R can see how her accepting this offer would be a gift from her to CN too!

      • FreefromSkankboy – Yes! There is a palpable air of happiness at the thought of being able to redeem this shitty story for C&R’s children.

    • Cut&Run: If you won’t accept the money, I totally respect that. Could you please designate a charity I can send your $200 to?

      • If you’re curious as to why I’m so keen on this, I have specific personal, possibly selfish, reasons for wanting to associate this money with your situation. My religion believes that charity done in the name of the recently deceased can help their process of posthumous purification. My serial cheater wife, whom I still love, died, as far as I know, as an unrepentant serial adulteress. Additionally, among other issues, she frequently had me doing grocery shopping off a a credit card because she’d bottomed out our bank account self-medicating with retail therapy (by a significant margin, the most benign of her self-medicative behaviors).

        I have a very strong feeling, bordering on a supernatural conviction, that using some of her life insurance money to refill your Disney jar or donate to a charity of /your/ choice, is enormously spiritually significant and positive.

        Please let me, let all of us, know where you want money to be sent to, if you won’t accept it yourself.

        • Oh HeatDeath – I am so moved by what you have said here – I can’t even find the words.

          You are a wonderful man.

        • Wow, HeatDeath, today was a good day! Hearing from you today, made me cry….tears of joy! I needed this, ty!!!

        • Mine too – and I would love to donate, because almsgiving covers a multitude of sins …

          CutNRun, you are a citizen of Chump Nation, and have paid your taxes in full, and now Chump Nation wishes to assist you with a refund. Think of it that way.

    • C&N, part of my recovery was accepting that I was worth receiving kindness from others even when I had absolutely nothing to give in return. YOU are worthy of this kindness from Chump Nation, and your children are, too. I think many of us are comfortable with giving but not so good at receiving. I hope you’ll reconsider, because seeing something good come from Chump Nation’s pain would do us all a lot of good.

        • I think we all know how hard it is for a giver to be a receiver. That is part of being a chump. We think of others more than ourselves. But the ability to accept as well as give is part of the healing process, and a valuable one. Reciprocity is the norm. Everything we receive does go back, and sometimes to someone much like ourselves at the time we received who has a need for it now.

    • Dear Cut and Run,

      Here is a different view about the fund.

      Some of us got great settlements.
      I’m blessed to be one of them.

      He HATES paying me so much.
      Using some of HIS money to send you guys for a fun vacation is the ultimate revenge!!!!

      It not about accepting money. It is about paying it forward.

      Have fun and enjoy some time with your kids knowing how happy you are making all of us.

      • Rebecca, amen to paying it forward! Isn’t that what life is about! It comes back 10 fold to good people! xoxoxox

    • Letter to CutNRun:

      Dear CutNRun:
      Fully get your abhorrence at accepting help, especially for something so “frivolous” as Disney when you’re in the midst of a divorce and have kids to clothe, feed, etc.

      But…..this is a community of chumps. If we can’t help people, or fix problems, we shrivel up and die. It’s our nature. Just like sharks have to keep swimming, chumps have to GIVE. If we each give up caramel-frappucino per week, we will not only be saving the planet (deforestation occurs to plant extra coffee trees), but putting a smile on your children’s faces. Would you deprive us of that? For only $5 each, we would feel like we are making a difference. How often does that get to happen? for 5 bucks?

      Please, please, Chump Nation selfishly begs you to help us set up a Paypal or GoFundMe account, or we will wither….(already feeling too weak to keep typing). Email me: tempest.ariel2014@gmail.com.

      P.S. Tell your POS soon-to-be-X that he won “freak of the week” award. Ha!

      • Dear CutnRun
        I was in tears this morning when I read the audacity of your stbx. Then I cried further as I read of CN cheering on the hopes to bring a lil smile to ur kiddos if a trip were to happen! And then, yup there’s the ever and forever thinking Tempest on how to make this happen!!! So, had to get on with my day but the thought lingered that in my hurt and devastation 3 yrs back, I figured I would have trust issues dealing with people in any kind of relationship.

        Gotta tell you, this blog has shown me there are humans that are trustworthy and loving. I’ve had chumps who I have never met but know me through Cn offer hospitality beyond words! Another chump paid something forward for me, outta the blue! It kinda blows me away! Well, I’ve tuned in to anxiously see where I can donate and here on a Tempest post I crack up over tell your soon-to-be-ex he won “freak of the week”!

        Chumps are truly a breed I never knew about. I lean towards, giving is receiving!

        So much disordered, crazy making and unbelievable stuff to read here. The mighty stories that are lived and earned here on CL ‘ s blog brings me joy and sometimes tears of joy!

    • I just want to add my two cents here.

      CutNRun, many of us have been dealt a rough hand with this whole sucky sucky life partners thing.

      It is really a great opportunity to feel like we can band together and make a difference. It is not about giving you a handout.

      There is so much irreversible damage that we have gone through when dealing with cheaters, so much that is beyond our control, but this… THIS we can do something about!!

      We cannot make our cheaters into decent humans, we cannot gain the years we lost on them, we cannot have our houses back or our cars back or our intact families back, these things are beyond us. BUT, we can all contribute to a campaign and it won’t be a burden on any single one of us (really!!) and we can try to right a wrong, we can give your children and you a break and help to fulfill a dream.

      Please, please, let us help. Because many of us just need to decrease the amount of suckiness in the world.

  • Hi everyone. Last year CN saved me from ready micro meal hell when ‘The Great I Am’ fucked me over, had our home repossessed and had me moving into social housing without a cooker (oven / stove). Karma Express suggested it and Tempest looked into the logistics of setting up a crowd-funding account. In the end the most effective way of doing it was via PayPal (no fees to pay, as there was with a crowd-funding site) – Tempest suggests it up page – she asked CutnRun to forward her paypal account details – and it really is a simple process paying into / receiving money from.

    CN was fantastic and within literally just a few hours I had to go into the forum and tell them to stop donating – they’d managed to get me the cooker I’d sourced, plus some extra left over for kitchen utensils! I have to say … I was really low and depressed about my forced re-location, and having to start from scratch at 52 … but, more than the blessed luxury of being able to cook a meal again (I’m smiling at my cooker right now, as I type in the kitchen) – to have been shown such love, care and compassion – I feel all teary with gratitude now just telling you about it! You guys restored my faith in human nature – that’s priceless!

    So, go with the PayPal route as per Tempest’s suggestion. I would be more than glad to send across my donation too. CutnRun – these people are the best!

    Love you CN (you guys know who you are)! My cooker still makes me smile every day I walk into my kitchen 🙂 xxxxxx

    • Great News, Tracy!!! I know that the readership of Cosmo has shifted to a much younger demographic and the younger gals will really benefit from your sage interpretation…..

      It’s a sad commentary to have to prepare them for cheating this early in their lives but there’s no one better than you to do so!!!!

    • Clapping… Awesome article!! It makes me almost wish I was on social media so I could post it. You rock!!!

      • I’m not on social media either Over and Out … but yes, I agree … awesome article. If it weren’t for the fact that I’d sooner gnaw my own arm off than break NC, I’d be tempted to forward it to ‘The Great I Am’ (mr king of stupid shit cheaters say). Mind you …. if I could have every post CL ever wrote tattooed on his eyeballs, maybe I’d break NC for that 😀

        • I had that moment as well of thinking to send it to Haggar the Whoreable, but it would be a waste of internet space.

      • Just shared on my FB page. I had the same thought of sending it to the ex husband but not worth breaking NC. It would all get twisted into how it was all my fault and I am so sick of the same old record. I am sad that I cannot get your first book anymore. It is on Amazon 3rd party sellers for over 80.00. Yikes. At least I have the new one to look forward to (already pre ordered) and I can come here everyday and read others posts/advice. For the first time in 2.5 years, I feel like I am starting to get to meh. NC is the beginning and you all just solidify why he still sucks and always will. Thanks

    • God bless you Tracy! I’m 22 and I used to absolutely love reading cosmos. When I first found out my ex boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me I found this article:

      http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a3456/he-cheated-now-what/

      It really upset me.

      I’m so happy that your article will reach a younger generation. I now have learned so much on how to go about dealing with people like this from you and how to prevent this from happening to me again. I really hope more of your articles get published like this. I’m proud to say that when my ex told me that he cheated because he “has been unhappy for a long time” I didn’t take it. I said to him “I always told you when I was unhappy, I didn’t cheat”. Thank you thank you!

  • CutNRun, there are certain times in life when we need to forget our pride for a moment and graciously accept some of those offers of help that come from the heart. I think this is one of those times. There are people who saved my bacon after DDay in various ways. I’m all for pitching in if Tempest can point us to that new vacation jar. Showing your kids that you make them and their dreams a priority will help them through this difficult time. Plus, you’ll be getting out and living a little, which is the best revenge.

  • Reading this thread is amazing…Cut your STBX is an abolute POS…pond scum, less than kitty litter, your story is so hearbreaking, by the end I was in tears. Then I started to read through the comments, and I have to say, CN, restored my faith in humanity. All of you are so mighty and amazing. I am so on bored for the Go Fund Me page. Hugs to you Cut! And, Tracey, THANK YOU for starting this blog. Out of you pain you have created a support network like no other. It is truely a gift.

  • It’s an amazingly common theme that our exes who didn’t have time or money to do things with us or our families magically transform with their schmoopies and her kids…. It was a rare occasion for us to take family vacations and virtually unheard of that my ex and I take a trip alone together — he whined and complained — too expensive, took too long to get there & it hurt his back to sit, etc. Since he remarried, however, he and his new wife take a vacation every Valentine’s Day (which happens to be the day he and I married AND the day he moved out umpteen years later!! (I guess the “emotional pain” is too unbearable for him… LOL) He does father/son things with her adult sons — didn’t do that with his own son. Occasionally he’ll act all generous with his own kids by taking the whole combined “family” to an amusement park for the day, but it’s only because his new wife gets free tickets once a year — not enough to cover everyone getting in free, but I’m sure Schmoopie puts the screws to him. She’s a spender — ex told me that tidbit when we were still somewhat on speaking terms. He’s a tightwad!! Schmoopie also tells my kids how generous she and their dad are to all of the children, equally — except it really means that my kids are getting screwed out of financial assistance from their father because everything must done equally…. Because, ya know, it wouldn’t be fair to her kids if he showed any favoritism or did anything extra for his own kids. Her kids are young adults. Older than our kids! Our kids see the BS and it breaks my heart.

    • Yup. They never have the money to do essential stuff and family stuff, but always seem to find money to make Schmoopie happy.

      Summer 2013, when I first asked for a separation due to his emotional affair with the ho-worker… We still had joint car insurance, so I arranged for the automatic payments to come out of his account and began paying my half to him. Was livid when, two months later, I got a letter from the car insurance company saying our insurance had been cancelled due to non-payment. He was pocketing my half of the money and not paying the insurance(!!!). I tried to explain to him what car insurance was and why it was so important and how it’s, you know, not legal to drive without it (!!!).

      Fast forward to summer 2014, after a failed reconciliation, he had moved out. Kicked him off the car insurance and told him he needed to sign up for his own. The insurance company also said they would call him (and you know they did; it was more money to them, so why wouldn’t they?).

      He was pulled over and his car was impounded in May 2015. Found out it was because he’d been pulled over in November 2014 (a few days after the divorce) and cited for driving without insurance. Yup, the idiot had never signed up for car insurance after I kicked him off, even though he knew perfectly well that it wasn’t legal to drive without it. He blew off his court date in December 2014 so that there was a warrant out for him on “bond forfeiture.”

      Think I said to him with a smirk, “Oh, so you finally learned why car insurance is important?” He said, “Well, I couldn’t afford car insurance after you kicked me off because I was paying for other things, like child support.” I reminded him that not paying for dates with his mistress probably would have freed up enough money for car insurance.

      He was funding his affair instead of paying for car insurance and it bit him in the ass. Priceless.

      • Same here, priceless indeed!!!!

        After he moved out, I had to continue to pay for his truck insurance because he piggy backed on my already established car insurance, and since we weren’t divorced yet, I would have to either A) set up a new policy by myself and cancel the married insurance rate; B) pay for it and wait for the divorce decree- 6 months later. Now, he also told me he that he would re-imburse me, but never did.

        The day our divorce was final, I contacted the insurance company and at first they weren’t going to take him off because he would have to get his own first- it took al ot of tears and righteous anger to get them to understand my predicament, but thanks God, one of the supervisors there took pity and took him off immediately that day!!!!

        Fast forward about two weeks later- he’s at the DMV re-newing his tags, and surprise! The DMV informs him that he doesn’t have insurance any more. Poor sausage!!!!

        He had the NERVE to text me asking, “Did you take me off he insurance?” When I responded that since I had been asking him for months for my reimbursement each month which he had agreed to give me, bu never did, plus I told him the month before that as soon as our divorce was final, I would take him off and I reminded him that he told me the month before that he would be getting his own insurance soon, I just figured he didn’t need me to tell him…” His response? “Whatever” then retaliated on me by cutting off the internet/cable on my house that he left on in his name that I was keeping current.

        He sucks, fuck you asshole!!!!

  • CutNRuN!, I totally understand feeling uncomfortable with the idea of donations and I’m sure I’d feel the same way. But seriously, even if you made a GoFundMe page from the get-go saying, “Hey, my dickwad cheater told my kids we couldn’t afford Disneyland and then took his OW there, please help me raise money so my kids can go,” I think I and most of the other Chumps here would still donate!!

  • CutnRun-it’s not a handout and if Tempest sets up a fund or whomever I would happily donate.

    Maybe it’s better if someone else does it. Would something like this be considered community property in the middle of a divorce settlement? I would hate for her good for nothing cheater to get his hands on anything CN donated!

    • Cheaterssuck, gifts to one spouse are not community property. They are treated as separate property, like an inheritance. There is zero chance that a CN effort to right this wrong would benefit the cheater.

  • Cut n run… I would LOVE to contribute!!! And it’s not a hand out… It’s just our way to pay it forward!!!!

  • I have to second everything folks have said upthread, CutNRun–please reconsider! One thing I especially love about CN is that it’s a community of giving people who truly understand the value of small acts of kindness because we have each been on the receiving end of such egregious acts of malice. I hope you will allow us to turn our small individual gifts to you and your children into a community-wide acknowledgment of the injustices we have all suffered and as an opportunity to do our part to help right one of them.

    • Count me in! CutnRun, Tempest has it right with PayPal and I too want to donate a little of my hard earned money to you and your children. Life is too short (ask me how I know). And I will tell you why. I am six years out and I too have been through it all. Ex’s affair cost me my beautiful hard earned home, my community, my reputation, my half of “our” savings, my kids their college funds, and many dissipated assets I can not even begin to list (wtf!). I am still struggling financially, my FICO score (house was foreclosed on) prevented me from getting any job, even McD’s, Starbucks, etc. until this past year I was living off one pt teaching salary. My ex in our last three years together and the two years we spent divorcing spent money on setting up his next life. Dumped sixty thousand of our savings into his retirement, bought himself a new house, flights every weekend out of state to play with Schmoop, and my kids now (who have worked their asses off to get through college) receive souvenirs from vacations he’s taken (with his OWife) as presents. He doesn’t spend any real time with them, except when they visit me for the holidays. Then he will travel here to be his usual Sparkly self and gift them Crap stuff like Tshirts from bars and tell them how much he miiiissssssessss and loves them. This after leaving us all in our family home and just. walking. out. He makes over a hundred thousand a year. So if little old me-who’s working two jobs and living in leaky unsafe farm housing and standing in line once a month to receive free food (two crap paying jobs still doesn’t cover everything I want but I am working on that! lol)-wants to donate…you have to at least say yes. Please. I know what I feel and just this once..to make a little difference. It would make my day.

  • Disney World plays a central role in my story as well! Last family vacation we went on was to Disney World. We had a great time and planned a trip to go there the following year with his extended family. We booked non-refundable hotel rooms for everybody, paid upfront for everything. Then he drops the bombshell that he’s cheating and leaving. And guess where he claims the physical component of his affair started…on a business trip at a hotel on Disney World property.

    So here I’m slogging through my divorce and I have a fully paid non-refundable trip to Disney World for NINE DAYS coming up later in the year. I decide to go anyway. I took my daughter, who is three at the time, I invite my sister who joins us for 3 of the 9 days, and we have a blast. I was worried I would feel sad remembering being there with him, or seeing all the happy families. Instead I noticed a lot of bickering couples.

    We have so much fun that I vow to try to find a way to make sure I can take my daughter again the next year. I use airline points and book a room at a value hotel, cut corners everywhere I can while still doing a few splurges (lunch in the castle and a mermaid makeover). Once again, we have the best time, and I feel very strong and proud that i am able to handle not only traveling alone with my daughter, but organizing a wonderful perfect trip and just that I can still save to give my daughter these experiences.

    I heard through the grapevine that my Ex Douchecanoe and OW are so annoyed that they are scraping by the afford their mortgage and my child support and I’m taking my daughter on a fun vacation…again. But don’t worry, we brought OW’s daughter back a gift of a princess playset along with one of those huge, sticky, messy lollipops as big as your face. Hope it didn’t make too much of a mess!

    • I don’t have children, so haven’t had to suffer the consequences of ‘breeding with a fucktard’ but I am constantly mind-boggled at the petty whining from non-custodial parents about child support. Douchecanoe and OW made the decision to take on a hefty mortgage. Much as Douchecanoe might whine about it, his daughter exists …. HIS DAUGHTER. She needs his financial support … they can’t be shoved up chimneys anymore a la Charles Dickens. If he were the custodial parent he’d be shocked by how much more financial support she actually needed (I bet you know the truth of that)! Well done you for managing to scrimp and save so you can give her this experience. And how lovely of you to have thought of OW’s daughter when bringing back souvenirs.

      And actually, I hope that lollipop made a HUGE mess -everywhere- all over the sofa, the bed, the curtains, the carpets …. hahaha 😀

  • CutNRun, please reconsider the offer. Don’t look at it as a hand out, look at it as a new start. You and your children deserve to make new, happy memories without the loser ex. Think about how excited they will be. Think about how much more fun the trip will be without the ex. Claim Disneyland as your own. Those kids knew that once that jar was gone, so was their Disneyland dream. Show them that you are a strong mama, who has wonderful friends and a support network. Consider Chump Nation your Karma bus! You can drive those kids right to Disney and take out the ex and shmoopie at the same time!

    Life should be made up of wonderful memories. No one will ever be able to take away their memories of spinning in the teacups while they and their mom scream with delight! Please take the opportunity that CN is offering and make it your own. All of us support you!

  • To say I’m overwhelmed is an understatement!

    But, I can’t accept any money. I just wouldn’t feel right taking a vacation on your dime due to consequences of me having a broken picker. Plus, how do I explain extra money to the ex?

    I also feel kinda guilty for highjacking the post and then not following the rules. Although, I’m thrilled that I won a great prize. I still don’t know if I can keep it short. I’ll try.

    Perhaps this is what my comment should’ve looked like.

    1. During false rec I reached out to let Disney Dad know that my mother had passed away. He sent me a text back stating that he’s sorry, & don’t forget that you need to go sign papers to refinance the house this week!

    He was worried her funeral would get in the way.

    2. When he was trying to decide between schmoopie and I, he told me that it’s a really hard decision. “Ya know, it’s like you have two pairs of shoes. One for church, one for running. They’re both comfortable. You like them both. They each serve a purpose. How do you decide which one you like to wear better?”

    Yep, He was on the fence. I pushed him off.

    3. After D-Day (my teenage son whom also worked for the cheater happened to catch dear old dad & the OW) STBX mentioned that he was learning about the dark side of the internet. I personally did not know there was one. He proceeded to explain “yeah it’s crazy, you just pay with bit coins & you can put hits out on people & never get caught.”

    CutNRun done.

    And all the while he’s been telling me that I’m the crazy one.

    Crazy for doing the pick-me dance alright! Thank you for validating me & restoring my faith in knowing that I can do this!

    I’m doing okay financially. He moved onto his new target. Disney Dad & I own a business together & Schmoopie works for us. Right now she has complete control of my life. I’m working on protecting myself from the both of them.

    Good news is… now that he’s gone no more watered down milk for us! We’ll make it through!

    I pray that you will too.
    Cheers to the New Year with my new meh mug:)

    Thanks.

    • C&R, really? “I just wouldn’t feel right taking a vacation on your dime due to consequences of me having a broken picker. Plus, how do I explain extra money to the ex?”

      First, you wouldn’t be taking a vacation because you had a broken picker. That would be because your jerk ex took food from the mouths of his family and gave it to a whore, thereby dashing your children’s innocent hope of seeing Micky and Goofy. The kids didn’t do anything to deserve that.

      Second, you DON’T owe an explanation to your ex for how or by whom your kids’ dream was undashed. That is none of his concern, just like it was none of his concern that you had to spend your kids’ vacation fund to buy groceries while your ex romanced his slut.

      I don’t think you need to worry that a small infusion from CN will upset the apple cart. If it gives you and your kids a short respite from that horror show, many of us are willing to make a small investment. And that is what it is. An investment in You. Just once. And for a good purpose. The proper response is “Thank you, we could really use a break at this time to bond as a family.” And the consensus is that yes, you could. You’ll have your turn to lend a hand later. Right now, it’s okay to take the hand offered you.

    • I want to contribute. Let’s make this happen! I too had the ‘I need time to decide’ like he was some big freaking prize that we were waiting around to win. Well, final OW ‘won’ and I got my life back. And I’ve managed to take some holidays with the kids, so let us give that gift to you.

  • Nothing would make me happier than picturing you with your children at Disneyland. 🙂 Please reconsider.

  • Cut and Run – I don’t want to make you feel bad by begging you to reconsider but …. please, reconsider. You must understand, no one here sees you ‘taking a vacation on our dime because you had a broken picker’. Cor blimey, I think we’d all be up the proverbial creek without a paddle if that’s how the world worked (or that’s how we thought the world should work)!

    It was totally how important that holiday was to your children. It was how totally we understood how your heart must have broken when you had to break into that jar of dreams just to survive. It was the blood-chilling mercenary attitude of shithead when he defecated all over that by taking schmoopie to Disneyland.

    Not your broken picker; your children’s sad misfortune of having that POS for a father.

    If you absolutely must explain the vacation to him … then angels came.

    Please reconsider.

    • ps – to quote Survivor …. ‘The proper response is “Thank you, we could really use a break at this time to bond as a family.” And the consensus is that yes, you could’. 🙂

      • You all may not know this but I was literally expected to be starved out of my home by the Fucktard during the divorce. He didn’t just assault and harass me, he harassed my employers, and I lost my job. He took our bank accounts, so I lost 35 pounds living on $2 a day until I broke the silence. Some good people didn’t let that worst case scenario happen, and that kept me on a better footing when settlement negotiations came around. They sent me freelance work. Showed up at the door with groceries or take out food. Got me a lead to a new job. Helped me move. No one gets through life in that danger zone without a bit of help. And the difference between then and now has a lot to do with them. It wasn’t much by anyone, but it got me over the rough spot the ex created, and I will never forget it.

        • That’s amazing Survivor!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our pickers may be broken where romantic partners are concerned but we can pick amazing friends, eh?

          • Picking good friends isn’t a problem for most of us. We just don’t see the devil inside our door until he or she harms us. Then those good friends help us to walk forward on our own feet, measurably intact.

            • It’s creepy to me that I slept side by side in a bed (married 27yrs) to someone completely opposite to who he posed as! With hindsight, I sometimes feel like the devil was in his place the entire time. Most days as I’m mehbound, I don’t dwell on who he is. I know he sucks……..which sums it up!

  • Douchebag promised to take his kids to Big Bear during the winter break. He took the skank instead. Douchebag promised to take his kids to Hawaii. He took the skank instead. Douchebag promised to take his kids to Vegas. He took the skank instead. Douchbag promised to take daughter and her best-friend to Disneyland for her birthday. He took daughter but did not take best-friend. He took the skank instead. Douchebag said he would take the kids to England when one of our daughters graduates from high school, which is in two years. Oh, that has changed already? Douchebag and skank want to be able to run around and drink all day. No longer planning on bringing the kids. Go figure.

    • Douchebag’s promiser is broken, and it shows. So sorry, Wothbound, but kids notice such things so he can’t pop that stuff off on you.

      • You are both so right. The kids are so protective of him though. They are both girls and are very close to him. I don’t want them to hate their dad but geez, I really want them to sometimes realize what a douche he is! All these trips were taken within the first year after he left. It’s been three years now. And I still want to send him an e-mail ripping him one for doing that to them! I really need to get over wanting to send him anything. Why let him know that I am thinking about him at all?!

        • Don’t let him know you are thinking of him. He doesn’t merit your thought.

          Maybe just journal your thoughts, and if and when the time is right and your kids are grown, you can consider whether to share some of them with your girls. If they haven’t noticed their exclusion yet, they may later have questions.

  • I hope I don’t offend anyone.. but I have to say it. What ADULT wants to go to Disneyland by themselves, without kids? Not to mention the overall bastardly act of cheating your kids out of a vacation (and groceries) by funding your fuckbuddy… who choses DISNEY as a trip for Adults?

    No offense to Mickey and Co.. but it’s sort of a place you go FOR your kids. Right?

    To me this underscores how utterly immature and ridiculous your fuckwit STBX and his OW really are. I mean, pathetic. It’s pathetic.

    Just as pathetic as the OW eating dog food.

    May they enjoy their fantasy until OW realizes there is no grocery money. SMH Hang in there Cut and Run.

    • I’ve never been there, but that’s what I thought myself, newchumpatl. My daughter is only sixth grade and she has been over the Disney thing several years. But she does love rides, so there’s that.

    • I hear you. I am so disgusted right now. He is wasting the family money on that slore while his kids dri k watered down milk! Words escape me
      I thought my situation was shitty…but this! It is unreal how some people treat their families.

    • I know someone who went there on their honeymoon. Yep. I’ve never been and have no interest, tbh, but people who go seem to love it.

    • It’s not fair to peg all adults who go to Disney World/Land without children as weird or disordered. I have very close friends (both couples who can’t have children) and both couples have gone alone to Disney World and loved every moment of it. It’s a different experience then when you go with kids but it’s one that they enjoy and if that’s what they want to spend their money on, then they should.

      CutNRun’s disordered freak soon to be ex husband’s actions are VERY different. He has children and didn’t didn’t take them in favor of his schmoopie. Please don’t lump all people who go to Disney World/Land without children in the same category as that fucktard!

      • ahh..c’mon cheaterssuck. My H and I never wanted children. But, we both wanted to do Disneyland, and it’s great for both adults and children, no matter what. We swore we wanted to go back every year. We never did. It reminds me of one of the happiest times of my life – it made me feel like a kid riding those tea cups.
        And, Mr Toads Wild Ride. Of course, that was before Pirates and probably soon to be Star Wars, coming. Someday I hope to go again, even if it’s by myself. Maybe I take one of my nieces or young nephews with me. I would like that.

        The thing about C/N, we can get offended about some things like being childless and loving Disneyland, DIsneyworld and the whole beauty in the world.

        I just encourage gentleness when it’s a one off thing, like it was with me and X. 🙂

        I’d love to go on this trip with C&R! Or somebody from C/N~

  • And while I’m here. This may go against the grain, but Cut and Run has said several times (actually many times) that she doesn’t want to accept the trip. We don’t know her situation, and it sounds like there may be more to it. By repeatedly asking her to reconsider, it’s pushing her boundaries and probably making her uncomfortable. Just my thoughts.

    • Hi Anita – I hear you. It was actually twice – once in her letter to CL and once directly on this page (unless comments have updated further whilst I type 🙂 ). I think the drive to ask her to reconsider comes from an acknowledgement that it is very difficult to accept help, especially if you are a true dyed-in-the-wool chump. I won’t press her to reconsider anymore, but felt I had to just one more time after she’d responded to everyones kind offers today. I did think about it carefully though, because I was aware it was pushing her boundaries, but ultimately felt the sincerity of the offer needed reiterating just one more time. Sorry you feel a little uncomfortable with that, but it’s the truth of it.

      If C&R changes her mind … that’s fantastic. If she doesn’t … that’s fantastic too.

      • Hi, Jayne. No problemo. I’m not uncomfortable, just wanted to present another view. I know everyone is just being helpful and concerned.

      • Yes, this. Didn’t want to be disrespectful either but I too recognize that Chumps put themselves last. And it is hard…to accept any thing. From anybody. We are so used to doing it ourselves, or doing without. Here today we can all see the fairy tale. We can see making a difference. What could possibly be better than having the opportunity to send a very deserving Chump With her children to Disneyland!?!?
        On a personal note, small acts of kindness make the world go ’round. One evening, after working a twelve hour day, I found a note on my windshield. Like many of us here I am struggling, worrying about my kids, my future, my family’s future. At first, I simply thought someone had backed into my beater and had left insurance information, instead it was a small scrap of paper wrapped around a single lottery ticket, and a note that said, ‘Have an amazing day!’ Made my week.

  • “2. When he was trying to decide between schmoopie and I, he told me that it’s a really hard decision. “Ya know, it’s like you have two pairs of shoes. One for church, one for running. They’re both comfortable. You like them both. They each serve a purpose. How do you decide which one you like to wear better?”

    Pardon my language, but what a SICK, selfish, childish motherfucker!!! How bout I serve this coward a right cross to its punk-ass punim??? I heard similar shit when my ex whore, was outraged by the thought of having to drop limp dick… ” I can’t just flick it off like a switch”, then proceeded to violently peel out, driving like a crazy SOB. These sub humans are so fucking deranged!

    If the pain and destruction they inflicted to everyone was related to punishment in the courts, they would need to serve 10-20 years, and I’m not joking. I hate cheaters with every fiber of my being, and wish I believed in hell because they surly suffer nothing in this world of any consequence. Best of luck C&R, we all love you, and wish you nothing but the best!

    • This is the clearest example of “they’re not like us” that I’ve found.

      Chumps are by and large tender-hearted, big picture people from what I’ve seen. We love the person. The good, the bad, the boring, the parts that piss us off. We love them in whole and chose to be with them. We take the entirety of the partner into account when we do some relationship analyzing.

      The disordered? They sort people into compartments. Sex. Maid/housewife. Useful beard to help one appear normal. Vapid slag/mental masturbation material to help break up the boring time at work. Once you break out of the box they have you in, they have no more use for you and off they go looking for the replacement box.

      How do I know? When comparing his love for me to the ho-worker I heard “that’s different, you’re my wife”. Box defined.

      “2. When he was trying to decide between schmoopie and I, he told me that it’s a really hard decision. “Ya know, it’s like you have two pairs of shoes. One for church, one for running. They’re both comfortable. You like them both. They each serve a purpose. How do you decide which one you like to wear better?”

  • I think what’s so touching about C&R’s story is that, unlike so many other stories, this one contained an element of hope. I’ll explain what I mean,

    We’re all going through or have gone through very painful situations. But C&D’s story contained something a lot of ours don’t have. For all the bad in her story, the gratuitous pain inflicted not just on her, but particularly on her children, there’s a central element that is actually /fixable/ – the Disney jar. We can’t undo the cheating. We can’t turn her ex, let alone ours, into a decent person. For the most part, we can’t fix the things our cheaters did. We can’t make them not have happened.

    But damn it, we feel like we can fix this. We can refill that jar. We can, even if it’s only a few dollars, help to make a trip to Disney actually happen. Maybe, just maybe, we can show the kids that, while the jar got taken down because things were tough, it can always get put back up again. There’s something in all that pain that we can latch on to, and actually fix – make right again. And fixing someone else’s thing feels almost as good as fixing our own would. We’re wired to want to do that. “Tikkun olam” – “Heal the world”, as they say.

    Cut&Run: I get that priorities change, your kids have probably moved on, you’ve basically moved on, and Disney may not be anyone’s big dream anymore. All that being true, in your shoes, I would still accept the donations, if only to turn right around and give the money to a food bank or something. Don’t represent to people that you’ll use it for a trip if you don’t plan to, but give people the opportunity to feel like they’re fixing your something, so they can feel like they’re fixing their own.

  • Where can I contribute to the Disneyland fund? I am happy to throw in a bit because that is one horrible story and I want your kids to have this fun time.

  • Yeah Lurch said, “It’s just like changing the tv channel”, referring to all the skanks he “dated”. It must be sooo boring to be on the same channel. What a disordered dick. And why do they think they are all that? His nickname is Lurch for a reason. He’s no looker, but I loved him. Not anymore.
    Actually he was a really boring channel, like a boring documentary on American History, with tons of commercials. Like, I think I fell asleep a few years ago it’s so boring but I hung in there. I am thrilled he found his new tv show, hopefully it will end like an episode on the ID channel.

  • Guys, as awesome as it would be to fill the Disney jar, there are practical considerations (beside chump pride) that keep CNR from accepting — first of all, anonymity. GoFundMe is not. Second of all, some of us have scary wingnut exes (just surmising here) who would NOT want to be honored as Cheater Freak of the Week — publicly and virally. (Oh how I would love his act of cheater freakishness to go viral…)

    That said, I would personally LOVE it if CNR named a charity whose jar we could fill.

    CN rocks. What an awesome bunch of people you all are. 🙂

    • Yeah, the anonymity is the big thing. That’s why I mentioned guerillamail, etc, in my first post. Tempest’s proposed mechanism is Paypal account linked to anonymous CL-only gmail account works too.

      We have to respect if she doesn’t want or feel she needs the charity. And that’s ok too. But I loudly second the call for her to nominate a charity for us.

      [Now I understand that even merely picking a charity to recieve what may well be a few thousand dollars may feel like a big responsibility, deserving of significant thought. I would recommend C&R, if no charity immediately comes to mind for her, to google “effective altruism”. It’s a relatively new movement that aims to determine the best, most effective charities, taking into account scale, need, ability, overhead, and impact on people’s lives.]

    • If CNR is firm about not accepting Disney funds, there is another member of CN who cannot afford the copay for a critical medical procedure (she is singlehandedly supporting multiple children because dad is deadbeat on child support). Datdamwuf can back me up on this (If people are channeling funds toward this instead, ‘ll contact the CN member to see if she minds my giving her code name).

    • Chump Lady–What if there was a general fund to which we could donate, something like scholarships for CN? So many people here know how awful it is to have a crazy narcissistic ex take from you and your children. This isn’t just about Disney Land trips (though I wish I could afford to send CNR, but I can’t even afford it myself).

      Some of us have had to fight the crazies in court for our kids when the cheater realized how much $$ child support would cost. It’s every decent parent’s nightmare to have to deal with the pain of infidelity and the multiple losses and character assassinations involved, then to have the cheater and OM/OW try to take the kids from you.

      Is there some sort of non-profit or something we could do? I would happily donate whatever I could to CN folks. I know that’s a lot to ask, when you already do so much to support chumps and educate about infidelity. Maybe there is a Chump out there with some expertise in this area? We are a diverse and big-hearted nation, after all.

  • I totally relate. I found out my SBX was taking frequent business trips to Walt Disney World, looking up women on craigslist to take there and to meet there, sneaking alcohol into the parks and targeting women as young as 18 (our oldest daughter is 21) Sometimes he would take me on weekend vacations he couldn’t find a “companion” on craigslist. Sometimes he would take us a week after being in the park with another women or multiple women.

    I have become an authorized Disney Vacation Planner to help get my kids back to WDW free from the drunkenness and perversions. I would love to help you plan a trip on a budget if you want to look me up. If anything we can be support to one another. I have not yet found another person whom had the perversion of the Happiest Place on earth as part of their Chump story. My heart goes out to you! My kids don’t know about it yet either, but like you, I believe they will one day. Much love to you NoWire!

  • Yesterday my youngest two went to their father for two weeks. Comically the youngest 11 forgot her bag, no suprise considering how full her arms were when she left. After a frenzi of calls and texts I dropped the forgotten bag to her, because I was not hanging around waiting for Exhusband to show up. It struck me as I pulled up on the driveway belonging to my Exhusbands new Fiancé, just how pathetic he is. Exhusband was packing their new family car (this is ironic as they don’t live together but they share a car) to take his new true love, her kids and our kids to OUR only family holiday destination. As I watched him struggle trying to decide what to put where like a holiday version of Tetris, I felt relieved that it was no longer me standing idly by watching the master at work as he packed the boot, like they all were, delaying the departure by possible hours. The look on the face of DD13 was priceless as she has experienced this many times over, you just have to hurry up and wait for dear old dad, as it takes effort. I would often plan holidays to the same destination, make bookings, make payments, pack for the kids and I. But on the day we left I would then have to relinquish all ideas and expectations and capability and marvel at the man packing the car. Worship even.
    As our son17 and I drove away (he was not included in their holiday plans) he brought up how awkward it would be for dad’s new true love to holiday somewhere she knows he has been many times with me. Where they are going is not a large place and it is very possible they will stay in the same room, eat at the same table and do all of the same activities we have done over the years.

    I will miss holidaying there as it is a lovely place to hike in summer, but I don’t miss the drama. I feel a little Meh today. ?

    • Thankful, that sounds like so many “family vacations” with STBX–I would do all of the planning, the reservations, the packing for me and the children (not for him, of course, might find something he didn’t want me to hidden in his drawers), only to have to put the actual launch of the trip on hold while he made a big production out of loading everything into the car. As if I had somehow packed everything wrong and he had to spend hours fixing it and making it all fit–and I am not an over-packer by any stretch.

      Your comment about marveling at the man packing the car made me LOL, even as sad as it is for all of the innocent bystanders who have to watch. These disordered freaks will find any opportunity, no matter how small, to try to make themselves the center of attention and to do their best to blameshift onto everyone around them.

  • It’s very understandable about Cut being unable to accept the gift. I’d probably be very overwhelmed myself! The potential of donations could probably send her on a first class ticket around the world with her kids.

    But, what this does tell me is, there is a need in this forum for people to donate to whatever causes they wish – and I’m thinking Chump causes mostly. I’ll never ever forget a woman on here from about 3 yrs ago who was left handicapped (can’t remember her name) and she could hardly get the door open herself – her scab left her with a ton of tools in the garage/shed to get rid of. She didn’t have 2 dimes. Very desperate.

    I really wish I could have helped her out.

    Since your H is an attorney, CL, is there something he could set up like a Chump Fund? I doubt it could be a 501(c)3, and I have no idea who’d be in control of distributing it…other than if the donation was specifically stated..

    Seems like there is a need to pay it forward. I know I’d sure like to.
    You guys saved my life.

  • I wonder if everyone on Chump Nation donated $10 if it’d be enough for Cut&Runs to take her kids to Disneyland? It sure would be nice to restore just a little of what her crappy ex took from her and the kids. Sheesh!

    My ex and I used to talk about going to Australia, but we had to cancel when I found out I had cancer. Lo and behold, many years later we separated, and he took that trip to Australia without me. It was just one more little knife to the heart, but at the time there were so many I barely felt it.

    • ahh Lyn … I get the stab to the heart. I’d always wanted to go to Athens with ‘The Great I Am’. I’d lived there for 3 months in my back-packing youth and he’d studied Classics at university but never been there. Of course, the year we split he arranged an ‘Old Boys Abroad’ trip to Athens. Scumbag!

  • Wow! What an ass. At least now, when you go to Disneyland, you will have a better vacation without him.

    Sorry to hear the computer was on strike. Photoshop rocks! Hope it starts behaving again soon.

  • Cut and Run, It’s amazing how many of us have hurtful associations with Disneyland or Disney World, places built for the joy of children and their families. I sure don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but it certainly would be cathartic for me if I could be even a small part of an effort to right that aspect of your (and our) cheater injustices and to send your kids and you to Disney. It would be so symbolic and a big step toward my healing. I’m sorry – yes, I want you to go for my own selfish reasons.

    I was never able to take my kids to Disney World when they were young, and ever since Cheater spent a secret week there with OW and her family, I have winced every time I see anything Disney related. That’s a lot of wincing in our world, with all of the toys, etc. I have turned down my daughter in law’s repeated requests post DDay to go with her to take my grand kids. (She doesn’t know that he took OW there.) It kills me to turn her down, but I haven’t felt that I could handle the concentrated triggers in the midst of my EMDR treatments, and no one wants to be a wet blanket there. When I heard which hotel she wanted to stay at, I thought of all the available places, she had to choose that one!

    I’ve seen all the photos of them with their arms around each other in front of the castle, on Main Street, gazing into each others eyes at the fancy restaurants, (besides the constant selfies and his compulsion to record her every breath, they seemed to keep a lot of waiters busy wherever they went). In short, he absolutely ruined the place for me. I’ve been so pissed about this.

    When I read your story, I had the same reaction everyone else did. And I thought maybe replacing the painful images of Cheater and his OW with the thought of you and your sweet and deserving children skipping around through there would help to free me from the painful association. And then maybe I would make some progress toward reclaiming it with my grand kids. I don’t want to let his sneaky selfishness cheat me out of making fun memories with my grandchildren. But I need a transition.

    I’m very happy to read of all the progress you’ve made toward a healthy new life without your STBX, and I’m amazed at your strength and decisiveness. But I’m sure that it would do all of you a lot of good to have this trip. And it would no doubt give your tuned in and considerate kids a big boost to see their mom enjoy herself and be light-hearted for a few days.

  • Well, okay, I just scrolled up and read all of the posts I had missed since first reading this story earlier. I do hope she gets to go at some point soon. Meanwhile, I think we are all on the same page and I agree that we need a way to pay forward and fix whatever we can fix in the midst of so much overwhelming injustice.

    I’ll wait to see what is decided and I want to be a part of it.

  • They steal from their children. We had a lovely family holiday, but I noticed that my children (teen/young adults) were slightly withdrawn and preoccupied.
    Turns out that on their first family holiday with Dad, he let them know that he had been in a relationship for a year … and that she was coming out to join them after New Year
    It has caused quite a family shift. Now that he has ‘failed to mention’ important stuff to them, blindsided them and betrayed them, they are starting to see things from my point of view.
    Strange hearing from kids that they sat their father down and lectured him on disrespect, breaking trust and lack of honesty. Of how disgraceful it was that they had to bear secrets from me. ‘He never thought of that’. Yeah, right.
    I told him all those things as well, but on volume 10 of shrill distraught crazy. He heard it in calm measured tones from people he does love.
    Karma is a strange thing.

    (PS and OW covered herself in glory at having a complete tantrum that they were ‘not accepting her’ 30 minutes after arriving. Kids who are realising that like their mother, they have been lied to, blindsided and presented with a fait accomplis. But because he is Happy and she is Happy and they are both Happy everyone must be Happy for them and all perform the Happy dance. What is WRONG with these people?!)

  • As a chump kid reading this post, I would be devastated if I helped save for a vacation and we never went. I probably would have told a few of my friends that we were going, and then been embarrassed that we never went. (this happened to me as a kid). I wouldn’t trust my parents after that.

    Okay, but fast forward. What if you find out that your mom was scrappy, and in an attempt to heal, she reached out to a group, who felt for the kids, and they offered a trip and Mom said no? I just hope you have a really good reason to not take the kindness offered. I would do it for the kids. I would explain advocacy, kindness, emphasize the kids willingness to sacrifice for the family and have it pay off. Remove the ex from the whole “Disneyworld” experience. Show you kids their dreams can come true.

    Being an optimist, what if you went and your kids had a blast? Imagine all the happy memories, smiles, inside jokes and fun you would have. You would feel like a little team. What if by chance, like Chump Lady, who sat next to a random guy at an outdoor jazz fest and he turned into a kindred spirit? What if you kids were so moved by their ability to have fun, they tried harder in school, got good jobs, and learned to look for kindness instead of defending themselves against the takers? Maybe you won’t go to Disneyland this time, but I think you owe it to your kids to make another goal to do something special. They deserve it. Good luck!

    • Nancy, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. My children are Chump kids too and I worry about them. Unlike you they do not share their thoughts or feelings because they do not want to take sides, they now believe some of the crap–I was a boring SAHM immersed in motherhood. 🙂 And the media’s spin on it doesn’t help either. I guess if you put it out into the world and are Sparkly enough, it’s all good. They want a relationship with their Father (who left me after his secret 3 year affair imploded our marriage and I was pretty clueless, even with his odd behavior) even after all the drama. You know that we can love people who are human, who make mistakes, but we can also call them out on behavior that is not okay. We don’t have to have a relationship with someone who has wronged us, or one who has blatantly betrayed us in ways big and small, without drawing new boundaries. We can enforce healthy boundaries with those we love and stand up and live our beliefs and surround ourselves with healthy people. Again, thank you for your input, it is invaluable around here.

  • The money is for your children’s vacation. not per say for you. I am concerned that you would deny your kids for ego or “saving face”.
    You only have a very small window in this life, to have “Disney Days” with your kids.

  • I kept wondering how I tell this woman at my kid’s school I saw her husband with another woman. Granted, she might already know but I kept thinking about this story and how absolutely cruel and low people can be and it gave me the courage I need.

    This is for sure a winning submission as the lowest of the low.

    I hope he goes back to Disney and dangles hundreds of feet by his balls from a malfunctioning ride.

  • My husband also took his OW to Disneyland. He was 42 at the time and picked her up at her parent’s house (it was the holidays and she was visiting CA from CO). Of course, it was off to a hotel after an evening at the happiest place on earth. I couldn’t get him to take me to dinner. We are divorced now

  • I don’t care how embarrassed my xh may be,
    My med school DD23 and I went wedding dress shopping at a resale shop, we used to be quite financially set up. Embarrassing? Prideful? – swallow it. She will have this one day for herself – I will stand there in a gunny sack – with a SMILE plastered on my face – if that is what it takes to make this day go forward…
    it is not about me or my loss…or xh determination to “bankrupt” me…
    I agree that there are very few Disney days you can have with your kids… take the $$$ – I don’t care how you set it up – and run.
    Kids don’t need to know who $$ came from, xh does not need to know either…

  • Sadly, CutNRun feels that she cannot accept money to take her children to Disney. Let’s hope she takes Disney-deadbeat-dad on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride (or the Tower of Terror) during settlement, and can take her kids to Disney every year for a decade. (or perhaps we can revisit the issue after her settlement is final).

    In the meantime, another member of CN could use some help from us–Irish, who went from homeless to mighty (but is still dealing with a deadbeat dad who contributes no child support) needs to come up with a co-pay to have some heart tests. If anyone wants to give up a cappuccino one day and donate the $5 toward Irish’s health, there are details in the Private: General forums (thread is “Irish in need of help”), or you can email me at tempest.ariel2014@gmail.com

  • >