It’s not like me to praise an arid state known for its golf courses and Republican politics, but I could hug the policymakers who brought shame back to child support enforcement. Seriously, come here Doug Ducey, so I can kiss you and throw confetti.
Arizona Gov. Doug Ducey this week launched a campaign to crack down on “the worst of the worst” parents who are ignoring child support payments, posting their names and photos to Twitter and Facebook. The hope is that the public shaming will make some of them pay up and give other dads (and moms) second thoughts about evading child support.
Ducey, a father of three, called out “deadbeat dads” in his State of the Union address on Monday, saying he was troubled by the high number of vulnerable children in Arizona.
“For too long, you’ve been able to remain anonymous — able to skirt your financial and legal responsibilities with no shame. Not anymore,” the governor proclaimed. Effective immediately, he said, the state would begin posting the photos, names and money owed by “these losers” to social media, with the hashtag #deadbeat.
Oh, I know the cynics among you may say it’s a simple feel-good fix to shame deadbeats. When really it’s all about the evil machinations of the State to keep the children off tax-payer funded social services and make poor parents pay their way. Poor scofflaw sausages can’t afford kids! Look, it’s very hard to make enough as a screenplay writer living in your mother’s basement. Affair partners need shoes too!
Look, if you’ve ever had the misfortune of dealing with your state’s Child Support Enforcement office — the dank Soviet waiting rooms, the endless maze of automated phone reception, the hang ups, the pervading dread of Abandon Hope All Ye Who File Wage Garnishment — you will REJOICE at this news.
Social media shame. So simple! So PERFECT. Hope it comes up on your dating profiles, assholes!
I mean, seriously! Ever had anyone owe you a four-figure sum? 5? 6?! Drug lords kill over less. Why more deadbeat parents aren’t at the bottom of a lake in cement shoes baffles me.
You think I’m being harsh? You try single parenting on a fixed income and then check out the exe’s Facebook page and see his latest Mediterranean cruise. (Just a little highlight from my life, there.)
The system has to change. Child support enforcement is complete INSANITY. Let the state do it? Great when it works, sucks when it doesn’t! Then the deadbeats work under the table, switch jobs, move states, refuse to pay insurance or court-ordered extras and you have to take them to court (expensive), and they get what? A contempt charge? How many contempt charges? And not a SINGLE ONE goes to jail because hey, if they go to jail, then they can’t pay support.
Taking away their drivers’ licenses and passports or tax refunds is a start. But it’s a long road of bureaucratic hell to get there. Social media shame by the STATE is a wonderful solution. It’s now. It’s real time. And it fucks up their impression management. I LOVE IT.
Imagine a future where we could leave Yelp reviews for our exes.
AMOS FINKBINDER. Owes $16,430.43 in back support. Baby daddy to several floozies. Rotten parent to all unfortunate enough to breed with him.
A girl can dream…
Meanwhile, a big thank you to Gov. Doug Ducey! Chumps, petition your state today to social media shame deadbeats. Hey, deadbeat parents — you want to screw over my child? #Notonmydime