Stay in Touch

Check out CL's Book

Make Your Own Cheater Memes!

kibblesPeople often report that they find their cheaters posting narcissistic New Age profundity on social media. One must pursue the Butterflies of Aliveness! Happiness is Never Wrong! sort of drivel.

Today (and this weekend) your job is to create your own cheater memes.

Give us a slogan, turn a well-worn cliche on its head, lampoon cheaters’ Deep Thoughts.

The more ambitious of you, may want to post graphics you create at a meme generator site.

 

Just post the URL. I’ll try and upload them as I have time.

If you need some inspiration for New Age dreck, check out this hilarious New Age Bullshit generator. (So that’s where Esther Perel gets her aphorisms!)

Enjoy!

i-am-splendid i-wasnt-buying

 

Okay, the HTML suggestion isn’t working, so as I have time I will post your memes below. Meanwhile, post the links! Or the text! Thanks!its-not-me-bltexm

i-want-us-ujqomn11ew0k11ewqq62545338i-dont-always-lpk0s1so-glad-i-ilwefvsorry-i-tli0gg

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at info@chumplady.com. Read more about submission guidelines.

  • Oops, try again? Hey, if you’re copying that code — replace the QUOTE MARKS. For some reason, my font here wants to turn them backwards. I wonder if that’s screwing things up.

    Or maybe stick to text if it’s not working….

    Reply

    • OMG!!! That ginger haired kid looks EXACTLY like what I would guess my XH looked like at that age……freaky.

      GAK!

      Reply

        • Hesatthecurb and Moving on, he looks like a younger version of my Cheater as well, ginger hair, and cheesy smile. Maybe our Cheaters are triplets separated at birth.
          Last time I seen him, his ginger hair looked faded,he’s started wearing wired framed glasses, perhaps going for the intellectual/sophisticated, sensitive man look, making his bullshit sound more beleivable to gf and outsiders.
          Cheater still smiles like that, eww, creepy, especially knowing what a scumbag he is.

          Reply

          • Yup, I have heard that one too….and usually I am at a loss for a snappy comeback, but I wasn’t that time. I said no, that would never happen, because NONE of my friends had ever intentionally slept with someone else’s husband, nor had any of them ever slept with their own first cousin….and that made Twatwaffle two for two.

            Reply

  • OMG the Stripper/Self Esteem meme – that’s exactly what my H said. Tracy did you create that meme or did someone else’s douchebag cheater out there actually say that too?!

    Reply

  • Get Out You Seat and Chump Around, Funny! =) I

    Mine didn’t work, I’m not good at this, I tried deleting mine, evidently not good at that either.

    Reply

  • 1. Lying makes people like me, don’t you want people to like me?
    2. I like our life, why can’t you just be happy this way.
    3. I don’t want to be divorced, can’t we just live in separate states?
    4. I think we have different sex drives, you want more then me. (After my living 11 years celebate, him 100’s of fuck buddies.) WTF?
    5. We’re not divorcing because of my cheating, we grew apart.
    6. I’m a different person now, why can’t you just believe that?
    7. Who you going to believe? Me or the psychotherapist, who says I’m lying.
    8. I’d tell you the truth, but you won’t believe me.
    9. Your perception is not the reality, it’s not that bad.
    10. I work hard, shouldn’t I get to have some fun?

    Reply

    • Oh and how about can’t you just forgive and for get? And “this is 75% your fault” oh yes I got mad aboit the cheating lying stealing and not working so it’s MY fault.

      Reply

      • My STBX complains about me bringing up the past (as he did today during kids’ sports lesson) when I ask him to pay support and half of daycare expense (which he is many months behind on). Jerk! I am also pi–ed off at him for making life difficult for my boyfriend (who I did not start dating until long after D-Day and date STBX filed for divorce). If it hadn’t been for monstrous STBX, perhaps my now ex-boyfriend would not have broken up with me (as according to ex-boyfriend, my life, which involved death of relatives, chronic injury, travails of divorce, was too difficult to deal with). I rue the days I met STBX and created children with him (although I dearly love my children). I envy all the people who have kids with people that are at least civilized.

        Reply

    • We just happened to grow apart. The fact that I was away from home screwing other people had NOTHING to do with that.

      Reply

    • Oh wow! Did we marry the same guy? OW is helping him become a better Christian! It was meant to be!

      Reply

      • Mary so contrary, the whore was helping ex and our marriage by helping him “understand women.” Guess that would work better if I was a cheating whore.

        And he was helping her with religion and spiritual issues.

        These are both what you call the Blind leading the Blind …

        Reply

    • A recent Sugars (Dear Sugar Cheryl Strayed) podcast told the victim of infidelity that she must accept the dark side of her cheating husband as part of who he is if she were to regain his trust and love.

      Barf.

      Reply

      • Ain’t that the truth — he had a lot of online sex friends and a whole freaking fetlife sub fawning over how nice he was and sexy and all. THEY CAN HAVE HIM. What pissed me off the most was his CHEATING about it instead of saying I was blocking his kinky style and divorcing like 15 years ago. Oh no, he wanted the cake and me doing all the responsible work while he ‘played’ (that’s what they call the online or group sexy times, ‘play’ ).

        Reply

      • Embrace the cheater’s dark side?

        Fuck that noise. Where’s my light saber, I need to go all Jedi on his ass.

        Reply

  • Real meme quotes from cheater wife facebook addict:
    – Be yourself. People don’t have to like you and you don’t have to care.
    – Nothing lasts forever. Forever’s a lie. All we have is what’s between hello and goodbye.
    – We may be getting older but that doesn’t mean we have to be boring and act our age.
    – When you truly don’t care what anyone thinks about you, you truly have reached a dangerously awesome level of freedom.
    – What people think about you is not important. What you think about yourself means everything.
    – Never be defined by your past. It was just a lesson, not a life sentence.
    – Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?

    Reply

    • You were married to my XW, PreyingMantis? I used to call her FB page “The Cluster B Evidence File”. If NPD had its own FB account, it’d look exactly like hers. But hers would still be more awesome. Because she’s so self-actualized. 😛

      Reply

      • That’s hilarious Sunny! Mine’s is a Cluster B evidence file too. Unfortunately I’m still stuck in it.

        Reply

      • mgirontree…..mine was/is a sick perv too! He’s 55 and likes em REAL young…..20’s. His son’s didn’t want to bring their girlfriends around him because he such a sicko!

        Reply

        • Oh yessssss…my XW Whore packed her bags every Friday to spend the weekend with “the girls”…*cough* I mean our daughters 30 something boyfriend’s father when SHE was 46..I guess me turning 50 was an ungodly turnoff

          Reply

        • Check this out, IHH, my almost 53 yr old XH, dad and grandpa, howorker 22,now gf now 23 is pregnant! Freaking Karma train has arrived! Yikes almighty.
          This fantasy world now became real life. And like my 25 yr old daughter keeps say “this wont end well.”
          Sureeal!
          They are underground about it, I dont use fb and laugh when my kids say neither dad or the whore to mommy have not and do not use fb anymore.
          Mmm I wonder why? Not proud of your new life. It is BIZARRE! Lol

          Reply

    • Ack, no! Patrick Stewart has been a very loud and articulate voice against domestic violence. (Please do no ruin my day by telling me he is a cheater–I’m hoping you picked this photo because he is an actor playing a sleazy role in it, not because he is sleazy.)

      Reply

    • Sounds similar to what my ex-boyfriend said to me on our anniversary last month. As we were going out to lunch, he told me that he never wanted to marry me and never wanted to live with me . I later said, ‘You said you loved me.’ He replied, ‘I love your whole family (sister, mother, father). You’re all so kind and open.’ Funny, he never said, ‘I love you in the 30 years we were friends.’ Not until we started dating. Still trying to wrap my mind around this debacle of a relationship and break-up. Hard to do, especially when cheater STBX is still harassing me (not paying all of modest support amount) and many other areas of life have been extremely challenging the last few years.

      Reply

  • “My mother stills loves me, why can’t you?”
    “I really had nothing to do with our marriage failing.”

    My expression was priceless when these two gems came out of his mouth.

    Reply

      • Mine hasn’t actually said this, but whenever I do something he doesn’t like, he moves in with the other woman and won’t say anything to me and the kids. 4 months has been his record. It’s fun.

        Reply

        • Mine never said it; I only realized in hindsight that that was the dynamic. When I took took time to go on an international weekend with him once, he remarked coldly, “I need this.” What I now suspect (with my current knowledge of his serial cheating) is that he had another “option” behind the scenes and was weighing who would dance more for him. Fucker.

          Reply

    • Hahaha! Mine was chatting with a picture of Raven Riley, porn star. Turns out he was really Bubba from Ghana. Oops. Yes, he was telling all his hopes and dreams to a “girl” his step daughters age. Oh the horror he must have had when he found out, I know he cried and cried over it when he found out and was suicidal.Too fucking funny. This is the image I remind myself of when I start feeling any nostalgia over who I thought he was.

      Reply

    • ^^^***THIS***^^^

      Thanks to Tracy and the rest of Chump Nation, I knew what that meant… and as soon as that phone call ended (a couple months ago), I went into mega-super-overdrive getting PreyingMantis off every bank account and joint account possible! PreyingMantis is still surprised at the financial wreckage that is falling in her lap and all the bills she now has to pay. Sure was easier when I was a good little chump, woops, I mean ATM! I think she honestly believed that she could bounce from bed to bed to bed and I’d still be around to finance it all. Fortunately, cheaters do tend to focus their attention elsewhere and lose interest quickly when the money dries up. They have quite sensitive antennae that way. While I didn’t technically have a D-Day per se, now that the marriage is over, I’m getting damage reports and [truly disgusting] confirmations of unauthorized extra-marital activities. I can also put a price tag on the help I’ve gotten from all of you fellow chumps. You’ve saved me approximately $75K in just this first year alone. So if sometimes you wonder, “Hey, am I making a difference?” The answer is yes. YES, YOU ARE. Also I’m getting my marbles back. 😀 THANK YOU EVERYONE!

      Reply

      • Good for you. Same here. I was going to give her 65% of everything. After getting some strength from CN I demanded 50/50 (Illinois standard). It saved me at least $63000 in liquid assets and probably $100,000 in retirement assets. Keep going strong! Meh may come some time.
        Yesterday I smelled the slightest hint of Karma. While checking to see if I still need to pay alimony, I found out the her AP, “shit for brains” (SFB), defaulted on almost $6000 of credit card debt just before she moved to Austin to be next to him. He had to self disclose this to the financial advisor certification board to keep his certification. My ex got herself a real winner (not)! It made my day 🙂
        Be strong and keep laughing CN.

        Reply

        • Marked711 – I am in Illinois also. I actually lucked out on the assets, I kept the home and all the equity in it. 50/50 custody also. I was lucky for having my ducks in a row.

          Reply

      • Same here! Except unfortunately my NPD BIL is not an ex. His meme would say “Merry Christmas! Here’s a humongous TV … I bought for myself.” It’s thanks in large part to CN, not to mention all the learning and growth I was propelled into my fucktard’s cheating and abandonment of our marriage, that I can see this so clearly now. It amazes me that no one else in my family can.

        Reply

    • Sometimes I can’t even believe that there are other’s out there like this and how similar our experiences are. For my birthday one year, my ex gave me a $200 in a card for me to get to “surprise him with a gift” because that would be fun for me. Bad enough. But the next day he informed me I had given him $400 worth of bike shorts, bike brakes, and cables. . . all in a month we couldn’t make our rent. I don’t know where they make these guys.

      Reply

      • Mine took $50,000 from our savings (his according to him because he deserved it) on my birthday and brought a new BMW convertible and then took the AP to The Breakers for the weekend! Gawd these A Holes are so alike….

        Reply

    • Loling at this one because my recent ex-boyfriend (not a cheater, but definitely disordered) bought himself a Harley on my birthday. Didn’t have 5 seconds to even text me “happy birthday”, but had all day to sit in the finance office of the HD dealership.

      Reply

  • This HTML will work with makeameme.org and most other sites:

    1. Make the meme at makememe.org
    2. Right click on the image itself. It will end with “jpg” or “jpeg.” Save the .jpg file to your desktop “Save to desktop”
    3. Upload to imgur.com
    4. Get “direct” link to image. (Use pull down menu)
    5. Use code below replacing “URL” with link.

    Example:

    (One set of quotation marks)

    HTML: breaking hearts since 1993

    Reply

  • A real thing that his parents said to me. Their way of fixing it was to do what I coined “pray the stray away”.

    Reply

    • Also: I will make you feel terrible about all your behaviour; even when it’s logical and it’s just affecting me negatively because logic and my kibble needs don’t have a good flowz

      Reply

  • Love you CN! Happy Friday! My therapy today reading the MEMES scrolling down a every 10 mins … Day off from work but as a usual the is chump cleaning …. keep going

    Reply

    • On D-Day #2, at the wedding of a relative, my STBX told me that he had sex with prostitutes because he thought that if he told me (confessed everything), we could start over. (This after trying to start a family with an AP, sending me pics of the sexual positions he used on AP, on the day he filed for divorce, requesting a restraining order against me so that I could never see our kids again, purportedly because I, the mother of his children, molested our youngest and tried to rape STBX, etc.) BAHAHAHA!

      Reply

    • Nothing in common at all. She has a vagina and I have a penis. It’s not like we could get into any trouble having differing genitals that kind of fit together.

      Reply

  • Hello everyone…

    For your meme to show, you can type the following code:
    code
    (I’m using a picture, so you can see what the code looks like.)

    You’d need to replace the text in the src attribute with the link to your meme. The width attribute will keep the memes small… some are a bit large.

    However, you need the link to the *picture*, not to the page. Here’s how to get that:
    – Type the code in the picture… but you can leave out this part https://media.makeameme.org/created/were-just-friends-9phquh.jpg (leave the quotes!)
    – When you visit the page, right-click on the picture, and find an option similar to “Copy Image Location”, and select that.
    – Paste in the url that you just copied between the quotes after src.
    – If the link that you pasted ends with “.jpg”, “.jpeg” or “.bmp”, you know that you’ve got a link to the picture.

    Reply

    • omg, the image! Years ago, I dumped an old friend of mine who cared more about himself than his suicidal son. He complained to people how I’d treated him unfairly. Wrecked his entire family with his selfishness and won’t even own up to it. What an asshole..he’ll always be people-user and fraud.

      I wish you and your kids peace.

      Reply

    • That just reminded me of something really weird. About 6 months before D-day, POS cheater ex’s *older sister* emailed us both a link to Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” video, with a comment about the ‘great bodies’ in the video (this is the one with the naked dancers). I thought it was pretty off-putting and never responded, but now I’m thinking: WTF! What kind of sister sends her brother (and brother’s partner!) an email like that? In what kind of family is that an okay thing to do?

      Fucking sick!

      Reply

    • I got rid of 2 female friends that were huge narcs. Both of them had something in common. Whenever they started dating someone and sleeping with them (which was usually right away) they would claim that this one was their soul mate or love of their life. I mean I think it’s great if someone truly meets what they believe is their soul mate, but really how many soul mates are available for one person? Several, apparently if you would ask those messed up women. I just can’t believe I was friends with idiots like that. Glad they are out of my life and I have less drama to deal with as well. Oh, and by the way, most of the guys that they claimed were their soul mates turned out to be the biggest douchebags and narc types, just like them.

      Reply

  • First time poster, this was enough to take me out of lurk. My husband’s emotional affair partner actually makes New Age inspirational bullshit slogan art professionally. Here’s the slogan from one she made and actually had the balls to send to my husband and I after I caught them at their bullshit. Because the problem wasn’t what they were DOING, geddit? It’s how her husband and I felt about their shenanigans. Give me a fucking break.

    https://makeameme.org/meme/hey-shame-fuck-k5sl6z

    Reply

    • Well done Allie, and welcome to CN!

      Yes, classic cheater speech about the problem no being what they did but your reaction to their actions… I hope you and your STBX’s AP’s husband (!) will take CL’s advice to heart and give us updates as you forge on to Meh!

      Reply

  • today he actually said that our family’s lack of boundaries is frustrating . . . . thing is, HE is having an affair!!!!!

    Reply

      • And where are you now, creativerational, because your deadline has come & gone, and the Swat team is assembled?

        Reply

        • Durp. A few things! I don’t know what y’all here know… 1) my entire team got laid off, except me. I got promoted. I now have to relocate, so I’m setting up to move, in a few months. Investing in short term housing here right now would be… Hard and a waste of money I don’t have. Better to focus on moving ASAP. Also… With new job role, I am busy off my ass. It’s a beautiful distraction. 2) new legal consult: recieved clear advice about support on what i would owe him… he needs to get a better job. If he has the job he’s qualified for, i probably can get away getting to an agreement of support for a short time. Currently, I would be potentially supporting his ass for a decade plus. So… I really need him to get his qualified work. He has to”gain experience” to move to be with me… For lisencing requirements (Because he thinks he is coming). I’m putting lots of energy into getting him working, “so we spend less time apart” … Isn’t that sweet. 3) i was in a pretty dark space a few weeks ago, much love to all of you for seeing it and sending up smoke signals. Then I got sick with a wicked cold. I’m starting to feel better and my friends have been so good to me. I am recharged after a girls weekend and I am ok to keep stealth mode and get to the point where I can get away. 4) someone else was posting a day or two ago-about confrontation seeming like a good thing, but that it doesn’t accomplish what you want. She said stay stealth, then serve, and leave and make it all a surprise. Because you’ll never get your explanation. Your remorse. Your grovelling or your answers. That resonates with me. This is game of thrones with my life, and long game or not, I don’t need it celebrated, I don’t need it to be clean or public. I need it dead in a way that works for my long plan. I need to be Tyrion. I have held on for this long. It’s 6 months of real knowing, real understanding. 13 years of marriage that was a sham. But others have lasted 18 months planning, or years- for pensions to vest and for support purposes etc- I can also do this. Especially knowing I will be able to have physical distance soon. My tax return is going to ‘pay off some debt” but really is bound for my legal fund. Thank you so much for asking. I am working on my mighty.

          Reply

      • Cheater said those words to me throughout our sons childhood. He did finally pay attention to our son when our son turned 16, and when X left. He used our son for his personal gain and to demonize and hurt me. Our son was so happy to finally get positive attention from his father he would do anything for Cheater.
        There were also the perks of money, gifts and freedom.
        X hs been successful alienating our son from me. Heartbreaking to see Cheater use our son and worse breaks my heart I don’t have my son in my life.

        Reply

        • I am so sorry to hear about your story brit!

          It might feel like an eternity as you have to deal with this daily, but research shows that many young adults are not able to really see and feel things from other people’s points of view until early adulthood (sometimes as late as 25).

          Keep being the sane, predictable parent, and maybe read Bancroft’s “When Dad Hurts Mom,” their chapter on good and bad secrets has been super helpful in framing conversations with my young kiddo.

          (((brit)))

          Reply

        • Brit–I”m sorry, that’s awful. But don’t give up yet; other people’s boys have followed cheater dad, only to realize their mistake and realize the chump is the reliable parent. (I’ll try to get someone to chime in here that had that happen)

          Reply

  • I wish I could print all these Meme for Mr cheater pants 2x ? in colors along with the divorce papers. tHat would be fun. POS I will think about it ….

    Reply

  • 1) His apology for having led a 4-year double life with an OW: “It was hard on me.”

    2) After I told him he was a monster: “I can understand why you might think that.”

    3) One of last text messages before I blocked him completely: “No one can really understand how love works.”

    Reply

    • After I said “Please do not contact me again.”
      His reply? “I cannot believe I expected you to be civil about this. You should be ashamed of yourself. You’re pathetic.”
      Me: *crickets* and then I blocked him on everything.
      He sent his maintenance payment the NEXT day on paypal with a message that read: “I hope that this money helps with your healing. I pray for you everyday.”

      Like CL says, the mindfuck only has three channels…

      Reply

    • There were more than a few “red flag” moments with Cheater, a few times when I felt something wasn’t quite right, I came out and asked Cheater if he had been with someone, that was one of his replies, along with
      you know me, I’m not that kind of guy. Funny knowing he wasn’t the only one using that line.

      Reply

    • There are so many here I’ve heard from Cheater, too many. I don’t know how all these Cheaters can say these things and keep a straight face. I
      I’m ashamed to admit that I ignored my gut feelings that his explanations were ridiculous, some things just didn’t add up, but X had me convinced he wasn’t that kind of guy, X repeatedly told me he was a man of integrity, that in itself raised red flags for me but I ignored them. The person who I thought I married wasn’t that kind of guy, the imposter I married is.

      Reply

      • When I press for the whole truth, there’s always a conditional response like this, which makes me think there’s things he’s conveniently not remembering. Does anyone else hear this?

        Reply

        • Yes Wren, I got that too! Post Dday, the more I asked about his affair and what he wanted to do moving forward, the more inconsistent he became.

          His reactions post-Dday proved to me that he was incapable of integrity, honesty and respect for me. I realized then that my marriage had been dead for longer than I will ever know. So I put down the hopium pipe, and went NC apart from kid and divorce communication.

          I’m not missing his truthiness one bit.

          Reply

    • Well done everyone.

      And especially TheUpwardWay. Nicely done with the code snippet in an image!

      Thanks Tempest. The Exorcist steps are in DC (as you likely know) on M Street in Georgetown, and MatchGirl and I had some moments there while we lived in DC. So your post was particularly devilish. Her face was definitely contorted with some sort of evil as she confessed. Thanks a lot, now my nightmares are gonna come back.

      Reply

  • I’m reminded of something my STBX told me while arguing about getting a divorce. That everything we had was because of him, our bed, the house, the cars… Including our American citizenships (obtained after living legally in the US for 25 years with no work permit for me). Never mind that in order to be with this man I moved internationally three times with kids in tow and taking only suitcases each time. I remember being puzzled by this comment at the time. That was before I found out the OW (and woman is not quite the right word for a 23 year old…) was from Thailand and was in this country on a visa. It all made sense then!!

    Reply

      • “This time you can trust me…” Love it! Reminds me of X’s saying, “You’re the only one who thinks I”ll cheat again” (only to find out about his multiple affairs, Ashley Madison account, etc.).

        Reply

        • Thanks for the meme! Today, when I asked STBX to write a (small) check for kids’ lessons, he told me to do it. I said, ‘I would like you to do it because I cannot rely on you to reimburse me.’ STBX told me, ‘You’re the one who can’t be trusted.’ Projection, much?

          Reply

          • Ah RockStarWife, I am so sorry your sick STBX keeps making your life as unbearable as possible.

            Three things that come to mind to help with your healing:

            Stop attending kid activities when your X is present! Either he takes them or you do, no need for both parents to be there for practice. I only agree to both parents things when it is a school play or final recital. All the rest is either he takes our kiddo or I do. You might also arrange for your kiddos to car pool with friends for a few weeks, that will help you distance yourself from the craziness.

            Second, stop talking to your X at all. Things went a lot smoother when I stopped talking to him, no hello, no good bye, no kibbles. I just focus on my kiddo at drop of and pick up. When things are shared costs, I pay my half to the camp/activities, and then I email the camp contact and my X, telling them that as per our current agreement, my X will send the other half. Of course, he rages over email about my controlling him, him not wanting to pay, on why it has to be this way etc. To that, I just keep copying and pasting the parts of our agreement pertaining to shared activity costs. Each time, he paid up (image management).

            I’ve been regularly using Bill Eddy’s “BIFF” format for emails as well as have read “Joint Custody with a Jerk” by Julie Ross & Judy Corcoran more times than I want to admit.

            You have so much to endure and recover from RSW, I hope you will stop talking to your X and minimize all instances when you have to be in the same room with him.

            (((RockStarWife)))

            Reply