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Sweet Spackle Alabama

unconditional-love-is-only-a-relapse-away-c7301Anyone else following the Governor Bentley scandal in Alabama? It’s your usual tale of a politician having an affair with a staffer, but at least in this story the governor’s chump wife had the good sense to divorce his ass last year. The affair came to light when Bentley fired top cop, Alabama Law Enforcement Agency Secretary, Spencer Collier. Collier then blew the whistle on Bentley’s affair.

Oh, excuse me. It’s not an affair.

The Washington Post reports:

Bentley has twisted himself into a pretzel to admit everything but the affair.

Yes, Bentley had said sexually explicit things to a staffer, the governor admitted as an audio recording of him purporting to do as much became public. But the relationship was never physical, the governor said.

“At times in the past, have I said things that I should not have said?” he told reporters Wednesday. “Absolutely. That’s what I’m saying today.”

When a reporter asked if the governor was in love with the adviser he’s rumored to have had an affair with, Bentley said this:

“I love many members of my staff, in fact, all the members of my staff. Do I love some more than others, absolutely.”

As George Orwell said in Animal Farm, hey, we’re all equal! Some are just more equal than others.

Bentley loves everyone!

He just loves certain bits of Rebekah Mason more than others.

“You know what?” he goes on. “When I stand behind you, and I put my arms around you, and I put my hands on your breasts, and I put my hands (unintelligible) and just pull you real close. I love that, too. ”

After being asked about that,  Bentley reiterated that the relationship was not sexual.

Of course it wasn’t Governor Bentley!

And exactly one person on this earth believes Bentley — Rebekah Mason’s husband, Jon Mason.

Deep, deep in the spackle of “unconditional love” is one of the chumpiest chumps who ever chumped.

Jon Mason’s full statement below:

“On behalf of our family I would like to thank everyone for their prayers and messages of unconditional love and grace over the past few days.

“I wanted to share that I long ago resolved the personal issue playing out now for everyone this week. Please continue to support families, the governor, and our state with prayers as we all move forward.

“I just want to tell everyone about my wife of nearly 20 years, Rebekah Mason. She is not a fictional character from a tv show or caricature created by assumptions and imagination. She’s my amazing wife of nearly 20 years, a loving and dedicated mom, a sweet compassionate daughter, a gifted 27-year communications professional, and friend. And most of all, like all of us, she’s a child of God.

“We’ve always lived in a world of hate and anger, it’s just easier than ever to show it and share it. We can all just as easily show love.

“This weekend is all about unconditional love. At the end of the day, we just have to show this love to others, every day. Love your neighbor, show kindness to people you don’t know, and love your family. Then get up and do it again tomorrow.”

I thought Chump Nation should help Jon Mason put that statement through the Universal Bullshit Translator. We’ve been there, Jon. This isn’t going to end well. For the love of God, and your own self-respect, dump this woman!

“On behalf of our family I would like to thank everyone for their prayers and messages of unconditional love and grace over the past few days.

We should love everyone, no matter how publicly they shit all over us. When Robert Bentley cups my wife’s breasts, he’s just loving his staff. With his… um.. staff. In his unconditional way. Because Grace.

“I wanted to share that I long ago resolved the personal issue playing out now for everyone this week. Please continue to support families, the governor, and our state with prayers as we all move forward.

It’s a personal issue — singular! Slut whore narcissistic-Republican-Alabama-toad-fucking-trollop A resolved issue!

Let’s everyone move forward, because I’m curled in the fetal position vomiting wondering what the hell has happened moved on!

“I just want to tell everyone about my wife of nearly 20 years, Rebekah Mason. She is not a fictional character from a tv show or caricature created by assumptions and imagination.

Actually, the wife I thought I had is a total fiction. I just miss the lie. So if I sell you the lie, you’ll believe it too. Unconditionally! Because GRACE! We’re all good here. And we both won’t lose our jobs to the man my wife is fucking.

She’s my amazing wife of nearly 20 years, a loving and dedicated mom, a sweet compassionate daughter, a gifted 27-year communications professional,

She was gifting Robert Bentley with her communication, that’s ALL.

and friend. And most of all, like all of us, she’s a child of God.

I mean “child of God” the same way Southerners mean “bless your heart.” It’s how we say “fuck up” in Alabama. There’s a thin line between the prayer list and the shit list.

“We’ve always lived in a world of hate and anger, it’s just easier than ever to show it and share it. We can all just as easily show love.

Rebekah’s only singular issue was showing love. I have no right to be hateful and angry because my wife cuckolded me. That would be easy. Another shit sandwich, Sir? Don’t mind if I do. Thank you, Sir. I’ll have another!

“This weekend is all about unconditional love. At the end of the day, we just have to show this love to others, every day. Love your neighbor, show kindness to people you don’t know, and love your family. Then get up and do it again tomorrow.”

Let them cup your breasts, your bottom, and love you a little more than the other staffers. Show this love with your secret cellphone and share it behind the office copier. Demonstrate kindness to people you don’t know, spend their tax money on your fuckfests. Then get up and do it again tomorrow. Fire a cop!

I am not a fictional character from a tv show or caricature created by assumptions and imagination. I am Jon Mason — chump.

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at [email protected]. Read more about submission guidelines.
  • Omg! Yes! This is totally me! 8 years ago. The first time stuff happened. I don’t think I even got that mad. I swallowed that shit sandwich and was saying these exact same things as Jon mason. I’m sure a lot of you did too. I still struggle with it. I could comprehend a world where people make mistakes and make it better and learn from it. I didn’t want to embrace anger either. I saw my former spouse for the good things he was. When he cheated on me again. That’s when I lost my shit. My brain just couldn’t even comprehend a world where he would do that to me again. My after what we’d been through. Not after all the work wed done to repair things. It simply doesn’t make sense. My mind can’t process how somebody could ever betray somebody like that again. Especially after all the pain we had been through. And we have two young kids. Divorce is done. Has been done for 3 months and it still makes no sense to me. I believe exactly what Jon Mason believes and still do about people. That’s why this has completely changed my view of the world. Jon mason will get it someday. I hope. He deserves better than this.

    • Peaceful Chump 1111 – This is me too only just 18 months ago!

      Amazing, looking over this story at just how lost I really then mentally!

      Good Luck Jon!

      • Sorry to hear that chris1731. But glad you figured it out in 18 months!

    • Peaceful Chump – You captured how I feel perfectly! My brain can’t comprehend that the man I thought was the love of my life could do the things he’s done.

      Yep, I was as chumpy as Jon because I desperately wanted to believe The Entitled One when he told me answering Craigslist sex ads was fantasy and hiring a prostitute was fantasy. He’d never go through with that! The actual women he texted with and spent time with on business trips and the one he lied about having a date with — they’re just FRIENDS and he’s just FLIRTING. After we separated, I found his profile on a sex site — he was advertising for anonymous, kinky sex. During one NC fail, I confronted him and he told me again it’s all just fantasy, he’d never go through with it! Later he admitted he’d gotten in touch with an ex-girlfriend who’s into sex clubs and sex sites and she recommended a few sites she’s had good luck with. “So it wasn’t fantasy?” I said. He just gave me that blank stare, the one we talked about on CL a few weeks ago, that you get from the cheater when you catch them in a lie. He’ll never admit the sex ads and hooker(s?) are because he likes it like that.

      When I’m tempted to believe his words over his actions, I check out his online profiles. It’s hard to see the man I thought of as my soul mate advertising himself for sex like a whore, but it reminds me of who he is. He finds fuck buddies on the dating sites too and even now when he’s got the kids for the first time in a week and he’s dealing with a flooded apartment … he’s got time to visit these sites and troll for fuck buddies.

      My brain hurts just thinking about it.

      • Sorry to hear about that betterdays! Amen to many of your comments. And yes. It makes my brain just hurt thinking about it too!

    • Peaceful Chump, me too this; ‘ I could comprehend a world where people make mistakes and make it better and learn from it.’ I’ve certainly made plenty! This is exactly what I thought after Affair #1. It took multiple other problems and his on-going selfishness to show me that he never thought he’s made any mistakes, and he’d learned nothing. Affair #2 set me free, finally, although it was an incredibly painful process, and a disaster for my kids.

      • I made a mistake once when it came to another man. Actually, this mistake happened a couple of times. I work with all men. Worked for 30 years with all men. I talk, laugh and joke, and a few times I realized that they were interested in more when they began to verbalize interest. I can be clueless sometimes. “Whoa! Stop! Sorry, I gave the wrong impression. See the ring? Not interested. Really. Not. Interested.” I moved on, they moved on. What I didn’t do was take off my clothes, and “accidentally” let them touch my breasts, or anything else.

        • Sorry for the rant. I get hugely pissed when someone cheats (aka my stbexh) and says he didn’t mean it and it was an accident. Fuckhead.

          • How was that a rant, Anne? I think you beautifully summed up how “these things happen” and exactly what a committed, emotionally healthy adult does to nip it in the bud. Well done!

        • You’ve described why I call the Clueless Twatwaffle (snake’s EA, maybe more) clueless.

          It was abundantly obvious from the limited exchanges I saw that things were going too far, that it wasn’t appropriate for a married man to be engaging with her the way he was. What I saw wasn’t explicit or graphic, but very easy to read between the lines.

          The Clueless Twatwaffle was chumped by HER ex, and still didn’t have the sense to tell her married former boss to back off, I don’t think your wife would appreciate where this is going.

          This shit is no accident.

      • Agree Karene to the affair #2 setting me free too. Sorry you are going through this but it’s really your only option at this point. Continuing to live in a state of fear. Untrust and continued cheating is just not an option. I’ve said many times. I’m not a saint walking on earth. There’s only so much a person can take.

    • I’m guilty of being the same way, defending the cheaters behavior with pathetic excuses, I remember the stunned look on people’s faces as I spackeld away. What isn’t being mentioned by the Chump is her behavior towards him at home and in general while she is spreading the love.
      My guess is he has been an annoyance and his loving wife hasn’t been the most attentive, and isn’t spreading as much love at home as she is at the office.

    • Me too. After D-day he saw my weight loss, experienced how much I loved him and wanted to have an even better marriage than before etc. He PROMISED he COULD NEVER do it again. But he did, just a few weeks later if that. And lied harder. And made me feel even more undesirable and slightly off my rocker for ‘stalking’ him. I’m only now absorbing that second go around, but ultimately it will be the deal breaker once my dumb stupid heart catches up.

  • Jon Mason is sucking hard on the hopium and because he’s horrified the world knows his wife is a slag he’s going to do his best to show the world that nope, she’s just a loving person who Made a Mistake.

    I’d also like to note that the recording sounded like he was reading the grocery list. Most unsexy sexy times telephone talk I’ve ever heard.

  • Poor Jon. He wrote it off as simply living “In a world of hurt and anger.” Worse, Rebekah dished up another poop panini when she left the explaining to him. Betcha she had a hand in composing his script.

    • Chumpalumper—‘poop panini’ gives it all such an air of ‘je ne sais quoi’ sophistication……. 😉

      • I hold the copyright. You must hit the “DONATE TO CHUMP LADY” button to avoid “Calamity” 🙂

    • Thank you, thank you, thank you for the poop pannini! Awesome people on this site! Funniest lot of participants I’ve seen on any forum. Wonder if all the cheaters and Narcs are humour disabled or something. Mine has no SHO . They take their own shit so seriously. See thread about their bowel habits a while back. Maybe chumps are just too funny for Narcs.

      • Exactly ^this^. My x-cheater told me that I just wasn’t funny and that he didn’t want the kids to think of him as a joke, so he never laughed around us. What a jerk.

  • “At the end of the day, we just have to show this love to others, every day. Love your neighbor, show kindness to people you don’t know, and love your family. Then get up and do it again tomorrow.”

    UBT: “At the end of the day, I see shit sandwiches in every direction. If I leave? Shit sandwich! If I stay? Shit sandwich! So I’m choosing the shit sandwich that appears easiest to digest in the moment. Then I’ll get up and eat it again tomorrow, because I know that every morning from here until eternity, I’ll wake up next to my wife and be reminded of her retched cheating, lying soul, and I’ll have to take a big bite of that sandwich to survive the day. I love my wife and it’s clear that she doesn’t love me. But just maybe, if I try hard enough, I can make her love me again. [silent sob]”

    Been there, done that. I hope he comes to the fact that the divorce shit sandwich is finite, whereas the reconciliation/ forgiveness shit sandwich is forever.

    • The jail is full of people who tried showing his kind of love… They’re called serial rapists.

  • Which reminds me–whatever happened to Scott & Paula Broadwell after she bonked Petraeus under his desk? How people manage to stay married to cheaters when the cheating is on the front page of newspapers has always boggled me.

  • “When Robert Bentley cups my wife’s breasts, he’s just loving his staff. With his… um.. staff.”


  • I like the “continue to support…..the governor…” statement. I mean, who wouldn’t want to continue supporting the man that is groping and fucking his wife. Noooo let’s not say anything bad about him.

      • God after 5 years working at a high level in State gov, Muse just found the answer… money! pots and pots of money. I have seen couples like this in politics before. They are both kind of whores. So for me, that poop panini her husband ate, comes with a hefty price tag, $1000 per sesame seed on the top. I am getting the chief of staff or the head of the Republican Party (Dems do similar) called the Rebekah and Jon in and basically said, if you would ever like to work in this state again, or in any political capacity anywhere, then we need to do some serious damage control. Jon, you like that cash? Yes? Then you are going to be the forgiving spouse, in much the same ways women have stood by their cheating political douches for years, and when this blows over, you get to keep your income. Rebekah you make nice and you won’t be called in front of the grand jury to testify as to this salary. All of this will go away and we have found you a really great job in Nevada. Deal? Now here is the statement.

    • Just a thought……maybe Jon Mason is relieved that someone else is ‘groping and fucking’ his wife for him.

  • This Bentley guy clearly graduated from the Bill Clinton School of Word Salad.

  • Poor chumpy bastard. Hopefully he will see a mistake wasnt made but a choice.

  • Poor guy. I feel for him, I really do. I remember doing all I could to focus on love and grace as I endured my cheating ex withholding love from me and exploiting every gracious action I made towards him. It is both gut wrenching and futile.

  • Gag, gag, gagggggg! Disinfect the UBT now because it just ingested a double double animal style shit sandwich.

  • I am proud of Bentley’s now ex wife though! This is a woman who had the foresight to see the shit would eventually hit the fan and she removed herself early to a safe spectator spot! Smart woman! Dump that old bag of shit and move on! Notice Bentley had to blame someone, so his good friend Collier becomes the scapegoat! Hope Rebekah is “happy” with her prize! Cause his “career” as Gov. Is as good as over! Oh well, she’ll find another boyfriend at the Capitol who meets her needs, I’m sure!

    • Exactly Roberta! They were married, I believe, for 50 years. That’s a lot of time in and from which to walk away. And I believe the day she filed for divorce, she attended a public event with him honoring some group in the evening. I don’t know what kind of breakfast of champions she eats every morning, but I’d like to put it on my menu.

      • THIS!!! “I don’t know what kind of breakfast of champions she eats every morning, but I’d like to put it on my menu.”

        I’ll have what she’s having.

      • I give her mad props for her lady-balls, but by the time she actually got around to filing she was probably so done and so ready that she was no longer in a place of white-hot hate. You know this is not the first time he has screwed around. they have probably been living mostly separate lives for a long time. You know she had numerous meetings with lawyers about how this was going to go down. By the time filed, I was so far into the process that I could have easily gone to like a work event with my STBX with a smile on my face. I could have said in the car on the way “Oh by the way, I filed for divorce this morning. Do you have small bills for valet?” Sometimes when you are done you are done and it becomes mostly just semantics.

    • I’d like a bit of that mightiness too!
      I found the terms of her divorce, as usual in Alabama, football tickets are part of the settlement….

      The governor will pay Dianne Bentley $750 in alimony each month. That could decrease to $450 if the divorce increases her Social Security benefits.
      Robert Bentley must also pay up to $20,000 in legal fees for Dianne Bentley.
      The former first lady keeps one life insurance policy. The governor keeps another but has to pay $92,000 to his ex-wife in the next month.
      Bentley will keep ownership of the home they once shared in Tuscaloosa. Dianne will have the right to live there through December 2017. He will pay the homeowners insurance and taxes; she will pay the utilities while she lives there.
      Dianne will get to keep their Gulf Shores beach house. The governor will keep the “Bentley old homeplace” in Shelby County.
      The former first lady will get all of the furnishings in the Tuscaloosa and Gulf Shores homes except for: The governor’s parents’ bed; his tools; a “reasonable share” of family photos and videos (he will pay copy expenses incurred by Dianne); his office furniture and a piano; pool and patio furniture; and a “reasonable share” of kitchen utensils (“pots and pans to be selected by Wife,” the filing states.)
      The governor is granted all furniture and furnishings they personally own at the governor’s mansion in Montgomery, except for a chest of drawers given to Dianne by her aunt Dot.
      Dianne will get the 2011 Ford Explorer; he will get the 2015 GMC Sierra.
      The governor will get to keep his lawn mower. She gets her jewelry. He keeps his guns.
      Dianne will get sole title to a joint bank account. She will have for repairs made to the Tuscaloosa home. Each will have to pay for credit charges each made prior to the final divorce agreement.
      The governor will keep the Tide Pride membership and Alabama football tickets but will accompany them to an adult son if possible.

      • Beach house-check
        92 K-check
        Contents of bank account-check
        Getting away from serial cheater- Priceless.
        She did pretty,pretty good. Mimosas on the beach for everyone!
        That’s what you get for being prepared, and reading the writing on the wall.

  • Poor Guy.. made worse I am sure by the fact that Bentley is old and gross. Eeeewwww.. nasty!

    • newchumpatl……my thoughts exactly! She’s gonna love the visits to the nursing home.
      RUN JON RUN!!!!!!!!!!!

  • As my name suggests, this delightful public display of Cheater and Chump is taking place right in my back yard. Rebekah is a PR professional so I can guarantee you that she wrote her husband’s comment for him. Talk about making the humiliation total and complete. Down here in the Land of God, Alabamians are completely torn between their Christian need to forgive and their Christian need to uphold family values. As an outsider forced to live here for husband’s job relocation, it has been pretty entertaining to watch despite the sadness of the situation. Diane Bentley is my hero … she dumped her cheater despite 50 years of marriage and access to money and power.

    • I’m from upper Alabama where we don’t forgive so easy. Bently, who has long been a disgrace is fixing to get his. It seems that the state auditor has found some iffiness in the way the tramp was being paid. Hopefully, they’ll both go down in flames.

  • I agree on the old and gross statement! Good Heavens, this guy is 72? Come on! Do they ever quit leading with their dick?

    • Roberta, it appears that the answer is no . My ex is soon to be 64 and he is having the time of his life. In fact, he used to swing his penis about like it was a garden hose ! A very thin and limp garden hose that started to go missing in action. I bet it doesn’t go missing in action now that he has a 23 year on the go. 🙂

    • Nope. My cheating STBXW’s affair partner is a gross late-60s-ish guy with a reputation for being the town philanderer in our area (not sure, looking the way he does, and given his total lack of friends, how he manages this, except that he lives off of his rich mom’s money which probably attracts gold-diggers like my ex). I don’t think these disturbed people ever really learn what actually matters in life.

  • Sounds like the Governor may have Jon Mason by the balls …. Black mail??? In Jon’s statement about ‘ continuing to support the Governor’ is just fishy to me. He was groomed by somebody to say that. Jon Mason may soon have the Governor by the balls with the sexual harassment law suit. Jon will play that his wife was victimized… Because a good christian woman would never stray…and to maintain her position she had to bend over for the Governor. It will be really interesting to see what direction it takes. If it silently goes into the night and Rebekah never makes the air waves….the Masons were paid off. I wont be surprised if they go the sexual harassment route. Jon Mason may be a chump… But maybe just maybe he is a smart chump.

  • “And exactly one person on this earth believes Bentley — Rebekah Mason’s husband, Jon Mason.”

    Doubtful. Rebekah Mason was paid nearly 500K from Bentley’s 401(c)4 PAC, and her husband was paid about 500K from the same PAC for being the Faith-based Outreach Coordinator.

    That’s a million bucks almost.

    He be pimpin.

    • Ew! He’s not a chump? He’s a pimp?

      Man, that Rebekah is really good at chump PR speech. They’ve got the bullshit RIC lingo down pat.

      • It’s a nest of vipers. Considering that they are all well versed in Deep Christian Values Hypocrisy, I think I would wait until the dust settles … because the more you learn about this “arrangement” and the fiasco involving the Hubbard corruption trial, the weirder it gets.

  • Poor Governor Bentley, a Christian who ran on loving Jesus and family values, anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-gay marriage. He loves everyone on his staff, and since he’s anti-gay, he only cups the breasts and groin grinds his married “female” staff. It’s just how he shows “Christian Love” with the help of Viagra.

    Jesus cheaters, especially public office Jesus Cheaters are the most pathetic cheaters.

    Goes to show that cheaters young or old, Viagra gulpers and former beauty pageant contestant,”family values” Rebekah Mason and her fairytale Fakebook twist on her wonderful children and husband.

    Wake up Jon Mason, you’re eating the shit sandwich and your cheater wife Rebekah is a fraud.

    • I am not convinced he does not know. I am convinced former Mrs Bentley did not know, and she divorced Mr. Bentley’s ass shortly after getting proof (though she did shit sandwich eating in photo ops even on the day she filed for divorce).

      A large part of the Masons’ income is coming either from Bentley’s campaign or ACEGOV, his 501(c)4. In fact, Rebekah mason draws no salary from the Government of Alabama. Her salary is entirely paid by outside entities, much of it funnelled through her family’s consulting firm, and that firm has one client: Governor Bentley.

      • Oh, and Jon who does get a State paycheck among other sources of income, saw a pay increase from 77,000 to 91,400 over the period after the alleged “affair”.

      • Jesus cheaters are the absolute worst. They are so willing to judge others, but the moment they get their tit in a wringer it’s all about being forgiven. Many years ago, I was in a discussion with OW( who was constantly proclaiming her faith) about Ted Bundy. Teddy had been “saved” by this crazy state attorney just before his execution. I wanted to know if the serial killer was headed to heaven. I was assured that he was. I, on the other hand, was headed straight to Hell because I had not “accepted the Lord as my savior”. I realized at that moment that she was bat shit crazy. It’s not the behavior according to these folks, it’s whether or not you are cunning enough to “repent”. Sick, just sick.

  • These cheaters just really make me sick. So disgusting. Whores, all of them.

  • Two California mayors, one Cal. gov., John Ensign of Nev., Vance McAllister of La, Wilber Mills from years ago, John Kennedy………. If their lips are moving they are lying. My favorite(only in terms of sleaze) is John Edwards. A pox on them all. Oh, did Sonny Bono’s widow have an affair with a married guy from Fl.? If you want a course in recognizing narcissism just work for a politician. The problem is the old saying if you lie down with pigs………

    • and as a longtime New Yorker, I must say please add Elliot Spitzer to this list.

      • I’m interested in seeing how this Ted Cruz affair story in National Enquirer plays out. I get that its National Enquirer, the worst of the worst of tabloids…but the first time I saw Ted Cruz speak on TV several months ago, my gut reaction was…I bet that guy cheats on his wife. Then when I saw him give a victory speech the night of one of the primaries…the way he lauded his wife…something about the whole thing made me uncomfortable and think it was all fake. Maybe I’m wrong, but my gut tells me he’s a cheater too. Guess we’ll see if anything more comes to light on it.

        My degree is in politics and I used to work on campaigns and still work in and around state government. I will tell you most people who run for major office are major narcissists. They have to be to want to spotlight on them so much, to deflect, lie and put out the awful negative campaigning they do. So it makes perfect sense we see so much infidelity among our elected officials. What’s sad is how much the general public puts up with it, ignores it, says it doesn’t matter.

        For me, I refuse to vote for anyone who is a known cheater. That meant I sat out my state’s gubernatorial elections a few years ago. Just couldn’t stomach that. And even people in my own family don’t get why I’m so righteous about that.

        • M2CJN,

          That’s the thing for me, too. How can you trust someone to do right by strangers (constituents, the general public) if they are willing to lie to and betray the person who should be closest to them? And then the cherry on that shit sundae is that they come out and make a speech or write an op-ed or whatever attempting to excuse themselves from any accountability. All of these things indicate poor character. Does it mean that they don’t have the requisite knowledge, skills and abilities to actually handle the requirements of the job? Of course not. However, it does indicate a lack of ability to handle the requirements of the job with any genuine honor and integrity.

          You cannot have honest government run by corrupt people or people who are open to corruption. Those things are not compatible. So if you say you want honest government but are willing to vote for proven liars and cheaters, you’re being disingenuous when you say you want honest government. Does that mean you can’t have functional government? Of course it can be functional – just not honest.

          • Standing ovation! ***Exactly*** how I feel about political office summed right there.

          • I think you make a great point about character and I don’t disagree. To me, I don’t really care what other people do in the bedroom, and while we all agree that the “they must have had an arrangement” argument is overplayed, probably a sub-set of some of these folks do have an “arrangement” of some type. My issue is more tied to their inability not to get caught. If you send inappropriate texts to that college intern… she’s going to save them and use them against you. If you are boffing your assistant and telling her you are going to leave your wife for her… she’s gonna be mad and give up info eventually. If you are constantly railing against homosexuals while hiring the occasional same sex prostitute… someone is probably going find out and use that bit of juicy gossip. Don’t send explicit texts from your phone. Don’t use office email. Don’t send dick picks. Have some damn sense.

            And their inability to have any damn sense is what is a problem for me. I am not even a cheater and I can figure out how to do this on DL. If these folks can’t be smart enough to carry on a simple office affair in 2016 without leaving a massive digital trail, are they really smart enough to be making policy decisions and writing laws.

        • Now I can’t eat today. Who would sleep with Ted Cruz? He looks like a serial killer. “It rubs the lotion on its skin.”

          • I call ted cruz quagmire because he resembles that character on that old cartoon show and its an insult to the cartoon character.

          • Chiming in here – don’t forget the ‘awesome’ DISGRACED Neil Goldschmidt from Oregon (headed to Presidency for sure).
            I think Child Molester is right up there on that puke scale.

          • Tempest! Gotta love the “Silence of the Lambs” reference. Wiping the tears from my eyes as I’m laughing!

  • I am in Alabama and it’s disgusting and shameful. The recordings…don’t listen to them if you ever want to eat again. I wondered when chump lady was going to get to this. Alabama is a great place, our government is an embarrassment.

    • I read the excerpts on the article linked to by CL, and boy did that bring up bad memories.

      What he said is nearly exactly what my cheater and her AP would write, “Baby, I miss you, and can’t wait to hold you and eat your juices…” etc etc etc.

      “If we are going to do what we did the other day, we are going to have to start locking the door. ”

      What a lying POS!

      Hopefully Alabama gets rid of him.

  • And may I say, ughhhh. This old coot is physically repulsive, he looks like a skeleton. And she just looks like a plain, average looking (at best) middle age whore. Wayyy too old for this crap. My eyes hurt now.

    • You’re assuming a relationship between kibbles and attractiveness that does not exist.

          • Kellia, that is what my ex husband’s old work colleagues used to call him and he would laugh thinking he was a good sort !! Or they called him FOS as in old fossil.

          • Yeah Kellia, I think he looks like Mr. Burns too! Yuck! Old boy is gross and that girl is a gold digger! Addicted to powerful men with position!

  • Just yet another batch of low life people and idiots supporting them.

  • Bentley is a conservative, holier than thou, full on hypocrite. His positions on social issues are right of center, yet he thought nothing of blowing up two marriages.
    When I heard of his wife divorcing him this past Fall, I figured cheating was likely involved.
    This story isn’t over by any stretch. Mason was paid a salary way out of whack with Alabama reality and her husband’s business may have been benefitted from connections as well.
    During a recent legislature session in Al, a gay legislator threatened to out her/his fellow legislators affairs if they passed a particularly heinous piece of legislation. The bill never moved.

    • “During a recent legislature session in Al, a gay legislator threatened to out her/his fellow legislators affairs if they passed a particularly heinous piece of legislation. The bill never moved.”

      Omgosh, love this! Can this legislator move to my state? Good for him/her!

  • Not to be too political…But if this womanizing, raging narcissist, who “loves” everyone loses his job as governor of Alabama there is a particular presidential campaign he seems perfect for!

  • What chumps we can be!

    I defended my wife’s honor even in the first few weeks after I filed for divorce and moved out. I asked friends and family not to call her names, and to be nice to her if they bumped into her. Not because I was “taking the high road” (which I was), but because my wife was “going through something and isn’t herself.”


    She was herself, all right! I just didn’t realize it at the time.

    • I did too! Slowly saw the light and coming to Chump Lady was like staring into the sun! There is no gray involving a cheater. They are what the are. I happily travel the low road these days.

    • I did the same thing. Now I want to take out a billboard ad using their pictures, names and vehicles. I should use one of the Cheater Memes from Friday. I can do it so they see it on their way to work. I wont, but it’s fun to think about.

      • Anne……me too! I wanted soooo badly to put a billboard up with his picture saying ‘got herpes?’

        • I’m outwardly civil because I’m still going through the divorce process and I’m getting everything I want. I am inwardly seething and sometimes call a close friend to unleash what I’m really feeling. He lied during our marriage, so I am lying during our divorce. I just need to maintain this lie for a little while longer before it’s final and I unleash the Kraken.

          • Well, be careful, don’t get recorded venting to your friend. Those cheaters are cagey!

  • Yes because reacting to dishonesty and lying (which is what cheating is) makes you an “angry hater.”

  • “……there is a particular presidential campaign he seems perfect for!”


    Notice the male is in the power position and the female is the staffer? My STBX likes his younger female
    staffers too! This is a common story line…sick twisted souls.

    Stay Strong CN Warriors!

  • What if the governor-adulterer in question was one of the six incumbent female governors? What if the staffer-cheater was a man? What if the chump-wife released a statement and then it was revealed the chump-wife was being “paid-off?” Would chump-wife be a pimp?

    I can’t tell which way is up anymore.

    • Oooh, that would be interesting to see, the reactions to an switched-around situation! I’m betting the vitriol against the female governor would be much worse! ‘Cause after all, there’s still a lot of ‘boys will be boys’ attitude …..

    • Well then the female governor would have been recorded saying that she got excited when she rubbed his moobs. And that my friends, is an image no one wants in their heads.

  • I don’t feel sorry for him at all. He’s complicit, he’s benefitting from her “position” and he’s being paid near 6 figures himself. This isn’t a chump, it’s an arrangement and he has already put his stamp of approval on it.

    It pisses me off. He’s yet another asshat trying desperately to normalize indefinitely. He’s probably got an assistant or two himself!

    Nothing to see here folks, just a pack of wild douchebags and douchebagettes.

    • I disagree. Your comment plays to the narrative that chumps are responsible for their own abuse and that they therefore deserve it. I think he sounds like a giant chump who had his world crushed and is trying like hell to bargain his way through the grief and heartbreak. I can’t imagine what kind of drivel I would have written in a public statement in the immediate aftermath of my D-day, but it probably would have sounded about as pathetic as this one. The poor man needs a Chump Lady intervention, not another shit sandwich delivered in the form of blame.

      • I’m vacillating between these two thoughts. Based on other comments, it seems that, together, they earned nearly a million bucks through their association with the governor so I’m not so sure he’s an innocent chump. But I hate to pile on if he is. Gah.

        • He might have signed up for graft and typical corruption but ended up with that plus infidelity, with a side of shit sandwiches.

        • Rich people have feelings, too. Just because you’re wealthy doesn’t mean you’re immune to heartbreak and betrayal. (Not that I would know first hand, disappoingly.) And I assume that they already got their money from their dealings with the gov, so it wouldn’t do him much good to feign forgiveness after the fact. Chumps come in a wide variety of kibble flavors, and rich is a particularly desirable flavor, I’m sure.

  • My cheater demanded grace FROM ME. He demanded that I be positive! Hs not cheating now so dammit appreciate something good he did today. Be grateful that he brought me coffee in the morning when I couldn’t et out of bed because I had been sobbing so hard and couldn’t face the kids.

    “At the end of the day, we just have to show this love to others, every day. Love your neighbor, show kindness to people you don’t know, and love your family. Then get up and do it again tomorrow.”

    And did this cheater show his love to his family? Or did he turn his face from them and selfishly abandon them? What kindness did he show his WIFE when actively and intentionally abusing her trust?

    And the next day he cheated and then he did it again tomorrow, all the time of his cheating. But now? Now he claims the right to demand from the very one he betrayed that she (and all of us watching) that she give and give and give him the grace he DENIED HER?

    Fuck that.

    • hatch,

      you are not alone. I know your real suffering far too well.

      i don’t think there is an explanation to cheaters who can preach we must love each other one moment and then betray you the next. it is beyond comprehension to healthy personalities, people with character. but it happens all the time.

      fuck that is right.

      move on, rebuild your life, work on your picker

    • I’ve always been a defender of all chumps, regardless of their actions or in-actions, but for Jon Mason, I’ll make an exception. Releasing a public statement like that is pure politics, which means it’s all about the money.

      But I don’t know the whole story. Maybe is he devastated and filled with justified anger and trauma, but is being pressured to play along and succumbing to said pressure.

      But jeez dude – that explanation of your wife’s affair is pure bull shit.

    • Hatch,

      Hang in there. It’s so unbelievably painful I know. He’s an asswipe.

  • I feel for this guy not because I was there (I think I was one of the ragiest scorned wives who ever raged and threw the fuck out less than two weeks after he told me) but because it has to be a million times worse having such public figures involved. Yeah, it’s gross that OW is disgusting trash, but she doesn’t pretend to be anything other than that.

    There’s obviously a mutual power trip with affairs like these, and that has to hurt even more than the douchbags who fuck an anchor than happily tie it to their thigh and jump into Lake Timetofuckupmylife. Though on the other hand, at least this does make an affair of this nature mildly understandable because ego trip for the slut wife and well…. The same for the slut politician.

    I may have called the OW a child of many things, but God was not among these. And maybe if my love hadn’t been waning for my cold, neglectful and insensitive husband for years, I could empathize more with him. But no. Your spouse was whoring around behind your back and humiliated you on a now national scale. Pack her shit and tell her to gtfo.

    • I agree. It is so incredibly humiliating to have it all play out in public like this in the media. And what’s worse, is to have a statement made to the press about how much you love your cheating wife, and it’s all about unconditional love, and loving thy neighbor. How is cheating wife is so amazing and such a child of God. How can one not gag upon reading all this! This must be one of the most publicly humiliating shit sandwiches this chumpiest chump will ever eat.

      • We used to live in Alabama. We loved the state parks. Actually, we loved the state. So sad to see money going into pockets of his crew instead of things the public can use. I seriously cannot stand politicians. If I had my way no one could serve more than one term of anything. Graft, lying, back room deals never serve us well. Bentley is the poster boy of “power corrupts……..”.

    • I don’t know. I used to think nothing could get worse than having it played out in the media. But the two cheaters are being vilified while the chump exwife is getting maybe some wee-deserved retribution. If I were her, I’d be sitting on my couch watching the news and laughing like a loon. In this particular case at least.

  • This has to be a hall of fame Universal Bullshit Translator post, I’m still cracking up!

  • I knew I could count on ChumpLady to see the double entendre in “loving his staff, with uh… his staff.”

    I read that in my mind using the Bevis and Butthead voices 🙂 he he, he he! She said staff, he he, he he.

  • I was reading an article about Trump today, and they quoted Wesley Clark in the piece. Remember him from about 10 years ago? I was curious, so I Googled him and noticed on his Wikipedia page he’d divorced his wife of 42 years. A woman who followed him around the world and moved 32 times for him. It looks like he had an affair with a woman 41 years younger than him, so he blew up his wife’s life and naturally she was devastated. I wish I knew how to contact her, so I could send her links to CL. The world is truly just filled with them, isn’t it??

    • Odd, Wikipedia says General Clark is living with his wife Gertrude.

      “General Clark currently resides in Little Rock, Arkansas. He and his wife, Gertrude (née Kingston) have been married since June 1967. They have one son and two grandchildren, who live in California.”

      • You’re right, uniballer1965. I must have been looking at the Google “wiki” page, which shows his divorce was final in ’13, versus the official Wiki page. Kind of crazy that his Wiki page has now not been updated (at least that part) for almost 3 years!

        • Not saying he didn’t have an affair. But it seems only tabloid sites had anything about a Wesley Clark divorce and only in 2013. I didn’t see anything from a credible news source.

          The wikipedia page I saw was updated 3/15/2016.

          • Here you go. This is from NY Daily News, a tabloid, to be sure, but sources with the divorce filing:

            [Clark] is claiming ‘general indignities’ to divorce his wife of 46 years – even as he faces claims he is having an affair with a woman less than half his age.

            Clark, 68, filed the divorce papers in an Arkansas court last September and cited “general indignities” as grounds for breaking his marriage with his 69-year-old wife, Gertrude.

            According to Arkansas state law, the offense can include: ‘rudeness, vulgarity, unmerited reproach, haughtiness, contempt, contumeliousness, studied neglect, intentional incivility, injury, manifest disdain, abusive language, malignant ridicule and every other plain manifestation of settled hate, alienation, and estrangement.'”

            There’s a picture of his wife–very attractive–and the Schmoopie.

            The Wikipedia page probably has not been updated since he is out of the news, for the most part. You can go in and fix it if you like.

            • “‘rudeness, vulgarity, unmerited reproach, haughtiness, contempt, contumeliousness, studied neglect, intentional incivility, injury, manifest disdain, abusive language, malignant ridicule and every other plain manifestation of settled hate, alienation, and estrangement.’”

              After D-day, my then-H certainly could have filed for “general indignation” on me! Rudeness toward him-check. Manifest disdain-check. Intentional incivility-check. Settled hate-check. Thankfully I beat him to filing.

            • “Unmerited Reproach” – wow that described my whole marriage to major Cheaterpants. That guy dragged her ass all over Hellandgone for 5 decades then takes up with a tramp…contemptuous bastard.

  • All this talk about ‘unconditional love’ sounds a bit like a euphemism for an old hippy orgy on a bunch of soiled mattresses thrown onto the concrete basement floor of someone’s split-level out in the suburbs.

    Cheaters are consummate pros at ‘unconditional love’, ie sex without any conditions attached to it, conditions like one or both of them actually being married to other people at the time.

    • I’m not sure I really believe in “unconditional” love. I think there is love with a few very reasonable conditions. When you hear love stories where the husband and wife were there for each other for over 60 years, both of them may have had conditions. It’s just that both of them were also reasonable enough to not broach those conditions. Neither abused the other or cheated or what have you. The problem is many cheaters are unreasonable and have too many conditions attached to their love and affection. On top of that, they walk all over our few conditions and expect us to still do the pick me dance.

  • OK, after looking at the website (about the million dollars in payments), Mr. Mason’s statement, CL’s translations via the UBT and a few comments posted I must conclude, as an attorney, that Mr. Mason is a pimp….oh, sorry, he’s a LOVE BROKER!

    • Love that! My two favorite take aways today…..Poop panini and Love Broker! Such a great spin on such a shitty, gross situation!

    • “Love Broker’. Now that’s a new term. Brokers do everything else, why not this too? mmmm…maybe I found a new business. ha!

    • lol Arlo on the cochlear implants. You don’t need those. Us experienced chumps have a very clear BS radar detector. I just went thru just one this week. Wow, hey guy – you’re an asshole too. A guy I’ve known over 40 yrs. Nothing surprises me anymore. And this Viagra Culture, or whatever it is, really make me wonder why these dicks are still using that as a power weapon. They couldn’t do it without the drugs. Neither could their old lady whores with lots of hormone shit and jars of lube. God – put that snake to bed unless it’s with your wife. Viagra doesn’t make you some bloody stud. It makes you look like a damn fool!

      Signed, an old broad….but not a whore!

    • Here’s a guy and gal on the gravy train, mixed up in a muddy “sex scandal” with crappy Mr. Wonderful and pulling in a million dollars. Not that there’s more to these Cheaters’ stories–like ethics, money, lying, and fraud. No wonder they all want it “to go away.”

  • I heard about the scandal briefly in the news, and I was like “oh a politician cheating, it must be Tuesday.” But then I read this here and follow the links and read yalls comments, and I’m just like “what the crap!?” I will never ever get it. I mean, I just don’t ever get things on the first go-round. I’m hopelessly oblivious. I still, after all this time and fucked up water under the bridge, never hear shit for what it really is. My brain does not hear lies and think, “oh that’s some grade A bullshit.” I have to be neckdeep in it before Im gonna figure it out on my own. I need a UBT module installed like those badass cochlear implants.

  • I agree Arlo. I still cannot get my head round how these creeps think or feel. Just programmed differently I guess.They have no conscience. What is scary is the fact that there are so many of them! Could not be honest with a gun to their head.Lies just cascade out like a waterfall.

    • Me too. Even after everything that the fucktard did to me, I still am a fundamentally trusting person – a chump through and through. My radar is a LITTLE better but not much. I have decided that I like myself this way and I am happy that even after all the horror I am still “me.” What I do now is rely on a few of my very good friends IRL who see things clearly and are natural-born, walking, talking UBTs, and of course CL and her UBT and CN. Once I am shown the light by one of these trusted sources, on any given situation, it becomes crystal clear.

  • He sounds like me when my ex— was friends with ALL of my Facebook friends BUT ME. I was his WIFE and he totally blocked me and every time I logged in, I was embarrassed to see my husband engaged in conversations with my friends and co-workers, plus there were the questions like, “Is everything OK with you & [The Evil One} to which I would spackle, spackle, spackle, because I was trained to not divulge to anyone just what a rotten bastard he really is/was.

    Good times.

  • Hilarious, I love “Because grace.”

    I agree with Dixie Chump, she wrote this herself! The only thing missing was a ‘To be perfectly honest with you’ preface. Mr. Mason, here’s your new statement:

    Rebekah’s imagination: amazing. loving. dedicated. sweet. compassionate. gifted. professional. friend.

    You’re welcome.

  • was he making her skeet or was she faking it for the $400 K annually?

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