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Happy Mothers’ Day!

momnapHappy Mothers’ Day to all the chump moms out there!

I hope you’re all wearing pipe-cleaner bracelets and paperclip necklaces with pride today as you eat undercooked pancakes with a smile.

And if you’re well past the cute stages of child-rearing, I hope your sullen teens looked up from their devices long enough to acknowledge you.

To anyone slogging through this day alone and unacknowledged, while other mothers post glowing MY FAMILY IS SO FABULOUSLY INTACT Facebook posts today, I’m sending you (((hugs))). Go do something nice for yourself. Like get off Facebook.

To all the single dads, I’ll give you a shout out in June. To anyone missing their mom today, ((hugs)) to you too.

Just wanted to wish you all a good holiday. Back to our regular scheduled bullshit translating tomorrow. I have to go call my mom now…

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at [email protected]. Read more about submission guidelines.
  • My hand is up as I was slogging through this day alone and unacknowledged yesterday (Australian Sunday). However, I hope all mum’s be them good and not so good had and are having a lovely day. My very best to each and every one of you.

    • Oops … all mums. I think I will have to sack my proof reader! 🙂

      • Thank you, I appreciate your message CL. No recognition here today. Not the first time but I hoped that 23 year-old son would acknowledge me this year. He’s far from being a teenager.
        We had been in contact earlier this year and everything seemed fine. His father discourages him from talking to me and refers to me as trash. A title more appropriate for his father.
        I don’t know how much longer I can put all the blame on his father. I’m beginning to think he needs to take responsibility and I’m not sure how to handle it. Maybe just let it go and accept that we will never have a close relationship again. Thats where I’m leaning anyway.
        First time I felt this down about a mother’s day alone, I’m thinking it’s because my son is 23 now.
        Thank you to everyone who posts here, and CL, seeing things for what they are and bring a smile to my face.
        Happy Mother’s day to you Marlee. I hadn’t seen any posts from you on CN and had been wondering how you were. Glad to see you’re back and alright.
        Happy Mother’s Day to all Chumps today. We’re good, kind hearted people who unfortunately
        became involved with the lowest life forms.
        I’m going to enjoy the peace and quiet of the rest of my day… my Mother’s Day gift to myself.

        • Brit, you and I will talk about this at the SoCal meet up. I swear this is an issue that needs to be addressed.

          • SoCal meetup? I couldn’t find it in forums. I’d love to join a local meetup. Is it open?

        • Dear brit, we all know who the trash is and it isn’t you. Your son, like my 2 adult children are old enough to know better but for some reason you and I are the bad guys as many chumps would be. Treat yourself kindly today and enjoy something indulgent that you might not normally do &/or have. This is your day brit, so enjoy. My love to you. xo

        • Brit: I’m so sorry about your son. He’s in need of a spanking (23 or not) for his appalling treatment of you. It’s one thing for the same-sex child of a cheater to feel conflicted, and have mixed emotions, quite another to be a jackass. Big hugs!

        • Hi Brit, I’m 23 and I think your son is being a tool. At 23 he is aware of what he is doing. Sadly family members can often side with the trash and alienate you. I know first hand that can be hurtful and make you doubt yourself.

          Sending hugs your way.

    • I’m sorry, Maree. I wish your kids would see how much you love them.

      Treat yourself well.

  • Thanks! My daughter is 4 and my ex-douchcanoe doesn’t recognize me or appreciate all I do as her mother. (But of course he does acknowledge OW’s role as stepmother) I have her and we are just enjoying a low key day at home. It’s still hard to stomach the day, and good tip about staying off Facebook.

  • Thanks, CL. Alone and unacknowledged but we’re all doing the best we can, right? No pity party here, just appreciate your post today and your great advice everyday!

  • Yes but what to do with the douche bag mums who want cake and kibbles as well, interesting day. When once upon a time everyday was Mother’s Day. Yes I helped the precious darlings love mum , these are the words I get “pathetic effort” “I’m a great mum” . Well I didn’t see cake making breakfast! , that will be the day ha.

    • Sorry to hear this, Manchump. Hopefully the day will come when your children honor you on their own and you hear them say, “Dad, you were the best!”

  • Maree

    Love and peace to you Maree.

    No matter the strength we gain, we cannot control others. I woke up today thinking about how we as chumps have so much to offer. You my friend are a beautiful loving kind person. X

    • Thank you so very much Doingme, I really appreciate your comment. I hope you have a wonderful day and are truly spoiled.

  • Major pity party here. Triggered by memories of him saying he wouldn’t make a fuss because I’m not his mother (never mind that it’ was his job to teach our kids to show their mum they care on her special day). Quite sure he’s fussing over ns as she has a 10 year old. My kids acknowledged me as did my sisters friends and my sons former girlfriend. I’m trying to hang on to that and let go of the rest….

    • You had your kids acknowledge you and some nice extras. Try to focus on those and be thankful hes out of your life and you’re not his mother because I would be mortified to know my son treated a woman so horribly.


  • Happy Mother’s Day to all! I had breakfast with my sons today, it was lovely. The X came too, first time I’ve seen him in 2 1/2 years, and he was respectful, which was all I wanted. I’m glad we can be in the same place now, and it’s OK. So much thanks to CN for my new wisdom!
    Love to you, Maree! You are valued here for sure!

    • Thank you FreeWoman. We are all of value even if we don’t think so at times. Love back at you. xo

  • Here’s a thought to those who are hurt or sad because Cheaterpants doesn’t acknowledge what you do a mother: You had no idea that he would ignore your contributions, take your efforts for granted, set a bad example for the kids, put some AP ahead of you, and tramp all over your feelings with baseball spikes?

    This is a GREAT day to take a big step forward. We never get what we need from these sad wastes of human flesh. And we are far better off both learning to celebrate ourselves and being really, really grateful for those who acknowledge, appreciate and support us. I had a difficult, narcissistic mother–but as I sit here, I celebrate the good things she did. And I didn’t have kids, probably the biggest disappointment of my life. But no matter. There are flowers in the garden, the sun is shining here, and I’ve got plans for a great evening. Happy Mother’s Day! Celebrate your hard work! Be grateful for those you love and those who love you. There are more of them than you think. 🙂

  • No Happy Moms day to me from soon to be grandfather daddy! However, judas sent me a happy birthday on friday, my birthday!
    As such, he sent our daughter Happy Moms Day! Nice work douche!
    Very screwed. Guess he getting ready for new baby, in a month. Happy D Day!
    So strange, must feel like a real hero at 53 having scumbalina give birth at 23! Yikes!
    Happy retirement grandfather daddy!
    Must really suck to be him!
    Anyway, thank you Tracy, Happy Mothers day!
    Appreciate you all!

    • JeanM, if it makes you feel any better, my ex husband is 64 and my replacement, the prostitute is 23 with 2 little boys from 2 different blokes and the ex is raising them and he lives in all the heat and filth of a so called paradise in SE Asia. I hope she tells him she is pregnant because it won’t be his. You see he had the snip 31 years ago after our son was born. The bitch in me hopes that it happens because it would serves him right. Our daughter is 36 and expecting her 1st baby which I have not been told about. I hope you had a lovely day and that your daughter spoiled you.

      • Maree, I truly believe this is a fools paradise!
        I do believe that this castle built on sand will implode, given time.
        I do hope one day you daughter will be by you, which in time and patience will come to fruition. The true test of patience.
        I just hope my daughter, as my son will truly see his true colors. He is a user and manipulator! I realise this is her dad, but he evrn threw her under the bus when he was kicked out. So many excuses for the coward!
        Just sit back and see what transpires! Downhill spiral!

  • Happy Mother’s Day, Tracy, and all chumps everywhere. Motherhood is a blessing I would not trade for all the world. Today, I look at my card, candy, and homemade gift from my surly/loving tween and could not ask for one thing more. I love you sweet girl, more than I imagined I would love anyone or anything.

    • Ah, yes. The homemade card and gift from surely tween. I got that as well (from teen also). I was especially grateful as we all had a massive blowout the night before.

      • expatChump, I don’t think my girl is THAT surly, lol, but it’s just such a change from the adoration/constant attention you get from them when they were younger. It kind of parallels the discard from the cheater. Although, children separating from their parents and trying to become independent is normal, while the cheater discard is not.

  • You know what’s worse than being ignored on Mothers day by your x? Having said x wish you a happy mothers day via text in the early am followed by a surprise present and card sitting in my kitchen when I got home. So ‘my’ day has been hijacked by asshole’s mind fuckery. Gah…..he’ll get jack shit from me on fathers day and his birthday.

    Seriously – why do these guys leave us for greener pussies but then won’t stay gone to let us heal? what the fuck is up with that?!

    • CAS, that is whack! But, but, asshole found it necessary to gey me a set of three pans! Yeppers last week would have been legally 25 yrs married, oh such a deal.
      Figure this malfunction fuck out.
      Sends Happy Bday but mothers day mute.
      He still realing from his 23 yr old momma to be giving birth, in a month.
      His bday and grandfathers daddy day. , go suck an egg!
      Dishonorable shitheads. Oh boy bet he real life Happy! Lmao

  • Happy Mother’s Day, fellow chumps! Here’s a song for you:

  • Happy Mother’s Day, ChumpLady and all of ChumpNation!!!! xoxoxoxo

    I never got much “special treatment” from either Ex-Husband, so why start now???

    It’s been a year now to the day that The Evil One moved out, and now I have made the one full circle, one full year of special occasions and major holidays single with the two fuck-wits are with their new spouses. Meanwhile, I had a good day with my children and had a relaxing, rejuvenating weekend on the whole…

    That being said @brit and @Maree :

    I am so sorry you’re dealing with this!!! My oldest child went to life with his dad when he was in the 9th grade because of a conflict with my now-ex– it didn’t help that EXH#1 was in his ear 24-7 telling how bad it was with me, etc….we went close to two years with little or no contact and it hurt so much, I missed him terribly every single day, especially on holidays and special occaisions when I wouldn’t hear from.

    In time, our relationship did rebuild and repair, so i will pray for your relationships to heal and restore too.

  • For those of you suffering at the hands of a narc, give it time. This setback is a setup for future love, peace and life fulfillment. Don’t give in to the negative vibe your evil one is sending off.

    Throw your shoulders back. slap a smile on your face and act like the class act you are – especially if you don’t feel like it. These narcs want us to feel bad about ourselves – that’s their justification for the smear propaganda. Its all like a political campaign. Smear based on no facts.

    So throw that cloud off. You know you are the true honest one. Don’t let the schmucks get to you.

    Hugs and Love to all…Happy Mother’s day

  • I’m praying for my fellow chumps who need repair and restoration in their relationships with their children. I’m so sorry you are dealing with that pain!

  • Last year around Mother’s Day is when I found out about The Entitled One’s relationships with other women. I’ve been replaying those days in my mind all weekend. How I ordered flowers for the mothers on Saturday morning and we did our usual Saturday things — with him not even breaking a sweat about the fact that he was going out with a woman that night and was lying to me about (which of course I was completely oblivious too). And why should he break a sweat? He’d done it dozens of times before. Then the next morning — Mother’s Day — I knew something was up and asked him what had happened when he went out “alone” the night before. He spun his lies and the next day I caught him in it when he spun a different story to someone in my hearing. Then I checked his phone…

    Mother’s Day is now forever linked to the destruction of my marriage. He ruined so many holidays with his “mood” and his “triggers” and his anger. Figures he’d detonate our marriage around Mother’s Day.

    But today…the first without him…I spent with my kids. And it was wonderful. Another thing that is better, more fun, and more relaxing without him. Best Mother’s Day ever.

    • The beginning-of-the-end for me was mother’s day as well. It has left a very bad taste to the day. My girls treated me wonderfully though so I got thru it.

      But yes… mother’s day will always be linked to the end of my marriage…

  • Happy Mother’s Day to all Chump Moms out there! I’m blessed to have a very supportive and respectful teen myself (I do not have to share custody. Yes!!!) so to everyone who feels sad and neglected – extra big hugs from both of us. I also got my special Mother’s Day gift – I fished my copy of CL book today out of my mail box :-). They finally started shipping it out here in Canda.

  • Happy Mother Day.
    I quit expecting any recognition for the hallmark holidays several decades ago, and about 10 years ago I told my kids that their love throughout the year was all I needed. And it’s true. They do so much for me and have been here for me after fuckwit walked out, I couldn’t ask for anything more from them.

    I had a teary moment this morning but it passed as it always does. It just is, what it is. Anyway, I have mid-terms to study for. I hope all of you at least had as good of a day as possible.

  • Hello moms. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you from a grateful son.

  • Kids did not really acknowledge me today.. 12 yr old did not realize the day, 15 yr old is self absorbed.
    But, I made them power through it. I sucked it up and had breakfast with the former inlaws (ex moved thousands of miles away, so up to me to maintain contact with his family).
    Then I took the kids to the hardware store and had them help me start a house project. We did not get it completed, but half way there! That was my gift to myself; I wanted it done, they get to help!

    Hugs to all!

  • I wasn’t sure how I would do today. My boys and their girlfriends took me to a festival, then to lunch. I later went to my oldest son and his girlfriend for dinner (so I got to see him twice). It was a day filled with sunshine and laughter. I feel blessed because my sons turned out to be wonderful men. Past Mother’s Days were always spent with my mother in law and were never about me. So it was a first for me to feel truly appreciated for the role I played in raising two amazing men. I just wanted to spend the day with them and that is what they gave me. I’m thankful that Stbexh was not part of this. He can do whatever, I don’t care. Today my tears are joyful.

    For those Chumps who are also suffering at the hand of your adult children’s indifference or coldness, I am so very sorry. It seems so much worse to eat one shit sandwich and then realize it’s a buffet of shit. I wish for you that they will soon realize that you are so very valuable and important for who you are and what you have to offer.

  • I hate Mother’s Day. Always have. My mom’s been mentally ill as far back as I can remember. Things got really bad when I was around seven and just became worse and worse. I came home from school one day and she had gotten rid of the family dog. Another day I came hold and she had sold our house. She was delusional and thought she was going to marry Ted Kenedy. Instances are constant and in the thousands. She is totally bat-shit crazy.

    She was horibly abusive to myself and siblings. Mostly verbal but some physical. CONSTANT criticism that continues to this day. Seeing my mom, hearing my mom’s voice, creates enormous PTS. I cringe when she touches me.

    I realize she is ill and I feel bad for the person she could have been. If you are familiar with mental illness, there is really nothing you can do to help the person unless they are violent. My mom has gotten so good at knowing when and who to “act crazy” around, she can usually pull herself off as normal unless you are around her for a while.

    I don’t have the warm and fuzzies for my mom and I try my best to do something from a distance for the day. My sister who is mentally ill herself, although much more stable than my mom, always promises to help get through holidays with my mother. My sister leaves me high and dry every time – every holiday. It’s like Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown. My sister says, she has everything planned, has gifts, made food, etc. only to never be seen or hear of until an email arrives the next day that she got busy, or the pipes broke, or her dog is sick, flat tire,…… Of course I’m onto it bu now but for years my kids did not understand. At least now, as teenagers, I have been able to explain the instabilities.

    I could handle someone else’s crazy relatives for the day but when they’re your own, it can be too much. It is for me. Today, my non-working, barely able to live day-to-day mother, thinks I should buy a horse. Ohhhkayyy. I’m broke and live in an apartment. This is her reality and my frustration.

    I’m stuck with all the holidays and when I back out, I’m stalked by my own mother.

    I have to spend small, short amounts of time with my mom and then run home to anxiety meds.

    I am mostly upset with my siblings who always promise to help but never have in 30 years.

    On a different Mother’s Day note, when I was married, my husband never acknowledged the day or any holiday or birthday or any normal day for that matter. Today, he tags my kids in his Facebook post on how his mother was so great and sorely missed. (She was a wonderful woman albeit married to my asshole FIL but died 14 years ago.) He mentions me as a wonderful mother to our two kids and (get this!) has many fond memories of Mother’s Days that have past. WHAT!! Yeah, I bet he does, me haggard, doing everything while he watched golf and ignored me and the kids. I would take the kids to the zoo when they were little so I could enjoy my day and not be around his asshole face.

    Ohhhh, so many Facebook likes on what a great post. What a GREAT guy I let go. So many awesome Mother’s Days. Pffft. CL is so spot on how these losers have to keep up their good-guy image. Makes me sick.

    He never talked about his mother after she died. No one in the family ever even kept her picture up. I had to go to my FIL’s house and take my own photos (using my camera) from the photo albums that were stuck on dusty old shelves just so my own kids could see what their grandmother even looked like. I tried to keep that poor woman’s memory alive for years.

    So, as usual, I suffered through another Mother’s Day taking criticism from my mother and listening to her self-indulgent fantasies for three hours until I could run home to the arms of my clonazapan.

    Until next year, happy Mother’s Day!! Can’t wait until Thanksgiving!!

    My D16 stepped up with a nice card, flowers, and a card, and my S15, did nothing but hug me and tell me he loves me. I see a lot of my husband’s traits in my S15 . I try to point him in the right direction but my son is into himself.

    xoxo Moms!

    • I’m sorry about your mother, WiseOldOwl. It sounds like your family is back on stable footing with your warm parenting, given DD16’s Mother’s Day celebration. Keep up the love & structure with S15; he may get there.

  • Happy Mother’s Day everyone!!

    Not only did I get tulips, and brunch from my DD15,!!!! No kidding–an actual conversation with only one eyeroll about my musical taste. And….a hand-made card that thanked me for caring, and said, “I guess you’re cool.” It may be another year before I get a compliment like that. #BestMother’sDayEver

    • You’re everyone’s mother and cheerleader here, Tempest, so, happy Mother’s Day! We all love you!

      • Thanks, Miss Sunshine. I have such warm feelings for every chump and the pain they’ve suffered. Sending out a group hug.

  • The Coward refused through the years to acknowledge that I was a good mother–he would not utter the words, much less feel them in his heart, even when he knew it hurt me. He is a withholding ass. He always had to work on Mother’s Day, never a big deal, never was a good role model to my children for Mother’s Day. I was the one who sent flowers to his mother (until she threw me under the bus and rescued xH from the divorce he triggered by taking off with Twat Troll.)

    Well, you know what? I AM a VERY good mother. People I admire and trust tell me so, and my kids are doing well. So the Coward, who clearly has issues, can suck it. I don’t care what he says or doesn’t say any more.

    There were years where I actually got angry with my kids for not acknowledging Mother’s Day, and I feel it was my responsibility to teach them to treat me well, and hopefully, in turn, they will treat their wives and the mothers of their children well. I will kick their butts if they don’t, until they do. That’s my job as a good mom.

    Heard from 2 of my boys today, (Happy Mother’s Day texts) and another came to visit me from 90 minutes away, after an overnight shift at work. It was nice to see him and spend a little time with him and with my parents, too.

    New Boyfriend (a thoroughly lovely man) wished me a Happy Mother’s Day and once again noted that I am a good mother. What a sweetheart. He wins! <3

    • Yeah to you for being a great mother, and having your kids recognize it. (and yeah for the lovely new BF).

      As for your X, “So the Coward, who clearly has issues, can suck it.” pretty much sums it up ; ).

    • Miss Sunshine, I have to tell you about my day. You said: “There were years where I actually got angry with my kids for not acknowledging Mother’s Day, and I feel it was my responsibility to teach them to treat me well, and hopefully, in turn, they will treat their wives and the mothers of their children well. I will kick their butts if they don’t, until they do. That’s my job as a good mom.”

      Well here’s what happened: my stbxw picked up my D19 and S13 today and took them to have dinner with her side of the family. S13 stayed with her because it’s his day, but she dropped off D19 in the evening. A few minutes after she came home, she came downstairs crying, saying “Mommy just yelled at me for not doing something special for her today. She compared me to you, because she says you never did anything special for her on special days, either.” D19 explained that Mommy dearest had also yelled at S13 (still 12 actually, 13 next month), and left him alone in her apartment while she went out for a walk. D19 proceeds to scribble down a teary home-made card (“You’re the best mom, etc.”) but mumbles “It’s just a big lie.” Then she drives it over to her.

      FTR, I mentioned to the kids in the morning that they might consider making their mom a card, which they apparently weren’t thrilled about doing. Maybe they sense that if their mom hadn’t started sneaking around with her college boyfriend, they wouldn’t have to celebrate this holiday in two separate places (they don’t know this truth yet). Oh, and while she’s out on a walk, stbxw texts me: “On Father’s Day I’ll make sure the kids at least make you a card. I’m not that out of it.” She always has been about the superficial niceties, and now she just wanted some better image management. “I really am a good mom, and if my kids had just done something special for me everybody would have seen it.”

      So fuck. I had a nice day with my own mom, who is here visiting for a week. I just don’t know what to say about this psycho lady who yells at her kids after destroying their family. And I worry for their well-being.

      • Oh Oaktree, what delusions these cheaters have. Two things: she blew up your family and now wants you to insist the children make her a Mother’s Day card (even when they refuse)? Not your job, she sorta discharged you from caring that much. Aaaaaand perhaps she does not understand, but you do: she is not your friend. But there are no words to solve this crazy or you wouldn’t be where you are.

        She has probably ensured your children will never be remiss enough to “forget” her Mother’s Day card again. But she is continuing to build the “relationship” she will have with your children one dysfunctional and selfish brick at a time.

          • Yes, Kelly nailed it. It’s not your responsibility to manage your kids’ relationship with their cheater mother.

        • Agree. She just ensured that she’ll get a crappy, perfunctory card from the Dollar Tree for the rest of her life. Just so she doesn’t go all Wicked Witch of the West on them ever again. How lovely (insert sarcastic tone here).

          Isn’t that what it’s all about for these twits? The image? Real sentiment and feelings are lost on people who have no clue how to treat others.

          • My mother is awesome. But looking for a card for my cheater father is pretty difficult. One year I found the perfect one: “Dad, you deserve all of the love you show to me.”

            He failed to grasp the obvious sarcasm. Meh.

            I will grant him this though: since becoming quite sick, aging, losing his relationship with me for over a decade and me having two grandchildren: he’s finally started to grow up and START to be respectful of my husband and family. But I won’t foolishly forget those years.

            A cheating mother shouldn’t expect “Special Treatment” when she breaks up her kid’s family unit and craps all over them. Duh.

  • And happy Mother’s Day to all you moms and to you dads doing double-duty.

    Thank you and happy Mother’s Day to Tracy the Chump Lady for shepherding us chumps to salvation!

    Much love.

  • Happy Mother’s Day Chump Nation and a big Happy Mother’s Day to you Tracey!

  • Thanks for this post! “Go do something nice for yourself. Like get off Facebook.” I love it!

  • Tough day because Mother’s Day six years ago was the first d-day and two days after Mother’s Day 2015 was the last d-day. And on Mother’s Day last year the stbx called me crying because his father (who has dementia) had forgotten his mother (who is dead). And he said: “it’s not like he had fallen in love with someone else. “. And because of his long history with schmoopie I knew he was talking about us- that it was ok that he forgot me because he fell in love with the wonderful schmoopie. So while I never forgot any of these bitter things it is a year later, almost divorced and almost a year of no contact. So my 30 year old son came home for the weekend and gave me a card saying how proud he is of me, how I managed to get my life together in the past year and how I am a role model for him. So now my tears are now bittersweet because even though all the hurt is still there I am thrilled that my son sees me and strong and thriving and is proud of me!!! Happy Mother’s Day my fellow warriors!!

    • You did good LostandFound! Your son sounds like a wonderful man.

  • No one got acknowledged here today. I don’t mind really. It get less painful as each year passes by and I’m learning to numb my heart and feelings. I spent the full day in my community garden plot where I grow organic veg for our local hopelink. I find peace, quiet and comfort there. Happy Mother’s Day Chumps.

  • brit, sounds like my sister, to be honest. Cavorting with a fuckwit boyfriend and his narcissistic vipers nest they call a ‘family’. Couldn’t even be fucking arsed wishing mum Happy Mothers Day, yet is gallavanting around with their fuckwit mother and showing on Fakebook how shiny their life is. She moved out 6 months ago and shacked up with their crap, a boyfriend of hers (and their family) who think I (and my family) are ‘utter trash’ (and thats probably the most ‘civilised’ thing they said!), yet my sister couldn’t even raise a hand to defend us.
    As far as I’m concerned, I only have one (other) sister, and its not her. She wants to play happy families with someone who talks shit about me and my family? She’s no longer a part of it. Period.

  • Just wanted to say my take on it all is that it is the father’s job to teach his children how to treat their mom on mothers day just ad it is the moms job to teach the kids how to treat their dad on father’s day. This was an argument in my house every mothers day and acknowledgement was done grudgingly at best. Luckily it took and my kids do acknowledge ne on the day. It’s a day later but love and hugs to all of us chumpy mom’s.

  • I got a text from stbx last night that said Happy Mothers Day. He’s in Las Vegas with his 22 y.o co-worker. I would have been happier to not get that. It was irritating. Before he left us several months ago, he was gone all weekend with coworker. My birthday was that Sunday. He came home at 7 p.m. Daughter and I were sitting on the couch she played a video game. He came in and sat down like everything is normal. I just got said good night and went to bed. He pops in my door and says, “I know it’s a little late, but happy birthday.”
    Why even bother? Why even say anything. Happy birthday I’ve been screwing OW all weekend. Happy Mother’s Day I’m at the hotel in Vegas with OW.
    Ugh. Just leave me alone. When will this divorce move faster…

  • Mothers day is an entire day of reflection on your parenting past. It is impossible for many of us to separate the day from the once intact family unit. It is bitter sweet to see the positive results of the marriage, with their hand made offerings and expectant eyes, contrasted to the cheater dirt bag who reneged on the promise.

    It is natural to be melancholy at this dynamic. I had a lovely day, but even two years out from bomb drop, I still feel like someone is missing on get togethers. My children handle it much better than I do, in fact.

    My only advice is to be easy on yourself this holiday. Accept you may have the blues between the feeling of happiness. I wish the best for everyone, except cheaters.

    • I know about the “eat the undercooked pancakes with a smile” feeling. My DD made me a pound cake, more like a ton cake and I have religiously devoured to pieces…. > smile! <

  • Probably too late to get much response but had to share this. Getting off facebook is some good advice my CW should have taken on mothers day. Instead she writes this glowing mothers day devotion to her mother on facebook for all 375 friends to see, but may have really been an insult.

    Now her mother is a fine woman, but CW emphasized how her mother raised her to be a God-fearing, church-going person with solid morals! Did she forget she nearly blew up her 25-yr marriage and family with a 2-yr affair with the old high school boyfriend? Which BTW she reconnected with on Fuckbook! And her mother knows about it.

    Can you be that oblivious? Is she laying that blame on her mother now? If you were her mother, would you be proud to see that on facebook knowing that many of her friends and some family know about the affair?

    Uneffingbelievable to me anyway.

  • So my Mothers Day was a suckfest of 1) my 3 adult kids doing Jack and Squat for me – the only card I got was from my dead husbands mother 2) drove with new husband to my parents house where mom who has alcoholic dementia and didnt recognize me. She was always nicer to strangers than she was to me so now she is nicer since Im a stranger 3) got a call from hospital of a woman who lost her first and only child at term.

    But the odd thing was, I was deeply contented in that private place that belongs only to you. I refuse to let my kids or mother’s foolishness get me upset anymore.

    The grieving mom who needed me …it is an honor to serve and I knew I would help.I played music too loud on my way and chose to be happy no matter the good or the bad of the day

  • my stupid cheater sent me a happy mothers day text WHILE HE WAS WITH HER!!! What an asshole.

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