Stay in Touch

Check out CL's Book

Ask Me Anything!

JLW_033Hi folks,

I just wanted to let you all know that next Monday June 13 at 7 p.m. Eastern Time I’ll be appearing on Vidoyen’s “Ask Me Anything.” It’s a video platform where you ask authors questions and then at the appointed time, they answer the questions live on video.

Think of it as a virtual dunking booth where you can lob questions at me instead of soggy sponges.

If you ever wondered how great the disconnect was between my professional head shot and my actual dorktacular self, tune in and ask me something. Apparently, I can answer as many questions as I want to and keep uploading answers.

You can start submitting questions today! And check out some other interesting authors and learn about their projects. (I just watched one on Meryl Streep. Very cool.)

I’m taking a brave step away from the keyboard here and into the unflattering glare of my laptop’s video recorder. All in the name of book promotion. Which, by the way, buy the book! If you bought the book, review the book!

Thanks! And I look forward to chatting with you further on Monday night.

Ask Chump Lady

Got a question for the Chump Lady? Or a submission for the Universal Bullshit Translator? Write to me at Read more about submission guidelines.
    • Thank you guys. I made sure I was having a good hair day before I filmed myself. (Which is one of the more awkward things a person can do — video self promotion. I’d rather be a circus barker.)

      • As a chump who has also been blessed/cursed (depends on my mood) with curly hair I know my good hair days are rapidly coming to an end with summer humidity!

        During those real humid days, I can honestly feel my hair growing as the day progresses!

        Your picture is beautiful. Hope I can tune in!

        • Yes!! CL is a beautiful force of brilliance and might all in one! I got the book some weeks ago from Amazon, did a 5-star review, and have loved reading everything in it. Thank you again for all you do to help Chumps heal and get on with a beautiful life after betrayal, Tracy! Good luck with this next exciting endeavor!! =D

  • Yay! Unfortunately I won’t be able to listen in live (inconvenient time zone, ugh). How soon afterwards will it be available to view?

  • Unsolicited POSITIVE REVIEW Follows….

    A really dear friend who has helped me weather my newfound chumpiness is amazed at how I am not a puddle of goo like two other friends of hers (and she herself) after finding out they were chumps.

    How am I doing it?

    I am empowered by the people here at CL – and I am empowered after reading ‘Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life’. It is truly a transformative book for anyone dealing with the aftermath of finding out they are a chump. My life is mine, my story is mine, my path forward is MINE. I own it 100%, the cheater owns NOTHING but their own cheating (which of course they refuse to own…).

    To ChumpLady – THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. You have truly saved my sanity.

    • Ditto, deepn! My counselor told me about this blog a few weeks ago when I finally realized that wreckonciliation was futile. It has been my lifeline since I read the first post – and laughed out loud for the first time in months! – and my friends are all amazed at how well I’m doing now. Thank you CL and chump nation for this blog and 24/7 access to advice, wisdom and humor!

  • I just found out my domestic partner of 16 years has been into Happy Endings at random massage parlors near Trader Joes stores since I met him. Should I be concerned?

    Can I ask this Tracy? Can I? Can I?

        • HA HA HA trad’er in, Joe. HA HA HHAAWWW….fucker bought me a grocery bag damn near every time he got some action to assuage his conscience. You should have seen my collection by the time I threw his ass out. HA HA H AHAAAA. I can’t wait to see the show! You are the light in the tunnel leading the way….so glad for the recognition of the plight of chumps.

          • Oh my gosh my cheater was taking multiple trips a week to a big box store in an area I now know is famous for hookers and always asking what I needed. How considerate! I had a lot of food in big containers and multipacks. I guess the groceries cover is another cheater thing. Calamity, thanks for helping me laugh about it this morning.

  • Oh my God, my question is what hair products do you use and how do you get your curls so fantastic looking? I’m also a curly girl, but my hair never looks that good!

  • Folks, you can ask, upload your questions NOW at the Vidoyen site. If you don’t then… it will be sad and I won’t have any questions to answer and I guess I’ll have to make stuff up. Like what I do to make my hair look like this…

  • It is a comfort to see that cheating has NOTHING to do with looks. You are so pretty!!! With flawless skin and emerald eyes.

  • Question: how to get a narcissist to pay agreed settlement. I had to get a judgement and still he won’t pay up. It’s so expensive in Canada to have sale of property forced. Also he is “self-employed.”

    • That is a nugget of information right there. I’m in canada too. It’s expensive to force a sale? (I’m in the house). There are valid reasons to hold off but I can’t reason with my wackjob. ..He stopped paying his share of the bills trying to force me to list before the house is ready. Mine is also self employed (and trying to help pay for a new family).

      • I don’t know the law in Canada. But it seems to me if you have a judgment, you can enforce the order, or he gets contempt charges and you can ask for your attorneys fees.

        • In my case, he is in the house but my name is “spouse” on the mortgage. As long as he pays the monthly mtg. nothing happens. I would have to pay $7,000- 10000 in legal fees to have a judge force a sheriff sale. And in the time it would take , he would let it go into such disrepair so as to lower the value and delay any feasible sale. My lawyer tells me to save $ and just wait him out. Ugh! So Not Fair! Would love to go public with all his crap but it would only hurt my kids.

  • Your skin! so lovely…is it just the geteric lottery, or do you use something special….?? All the beauty questions, eh.

    • I think it’s airbrushing NfV — professional photographer took that picture. For a more accurate representation, check out the video. But thank you all the same. 🙂

  • er, genetic. d’oh!

    And on a more serious note, if, like me, you are dependent on spousal support to some extent, and said ex-spouse has moved far, far away…. do I worry? what else? I have an ironclad separation agreement etc in my divorce, but, ya know, with these character disordered folks. So far so good, but….Sheesh. (And just making more money myself? not exactly in the cards tl:dr.)


    • I don’t know! Good question for a lawyer. If you guys ask me legal questions, I can’t be of much help. It would just be the opinion of a chump who did not go to law school.

      • thanks…but it’s the worry’re so good at concrete advice for coping with the worry/anxiety stuff (can only control self, etc). fanks!!

  • Thank You Chump Lady. More than a decade after the DDAY I am finally free, from hate, from asking why, from questioning other relationships, from trust issues.

  • I have to agree with everyone here, you are drop dead gorgeous! Don’t worry about the hair, I am jealous of that curly hair cause mine is stick straight! I have to pay a lot of money at a salon to get my hair to curl like that. All I have to say is it just blows me away that ANY man would ever cheat on you! He must have been out of his mind or totally blind!

  • I left my 5-star review. I am nothing but grateful for the work you have done, Tracy. I needed it all. The straight talk, the humor, even the cartoons. Thanks. You’ve helped me immensely.

  • I have a few questions for you:

    How do you go on to trust after being majorly chumped?

    How do you handle seeing the ex at children-centered events, such as graduations, wedding, etc?

    How do you really accept the desire of older children to continue having a relationship with the cheater? Yes, I know it’s their parent and they need a relationship, but how does the chump make peace inside with what can feel like betrayal?

  • Can’t wait for your Q&A tonight Tracy – I know you’ll be awesome as usual but I’ll still say good luck!

  • >